5/18/10

Arthur Kade recognized as a ridiculous famewhore and selected to be a dancing monkey for Internet Week 2010 in NYC.

According to El Retardo, May 17th, 2010 is his 32nd birthday. I thought he was 33? 40? 45? Whatever his age, it’s too old to be doing Kween improvisations and taking Myspace-like pictures in public bathrooms. He has been unemployed (to our knowledge, at least) for the past year, yet he has the money to pay for bottle service, drinks in clubs and rent on a 1-bedroom place that is reminiscent of Hannibal Lector’s cell in “The silence of the lambs.”

The only way I can sit through any of his videos anymore is when I have turned the volume down to zero. I cannot bear the combination of seeing and hearing him at the same time because it makes me too uncomfortable. I didn’t think it was possible that another human being could make me feel as embarrassed as he does, but we all learn something new every day. I don’t know why the hell he feels the need to say “Hey everyone, it’s me, Arthur Kade,” at the start of every one of his videos, just as he begins every Kween impression with “Yes HELLOOOO bitches! It’s me, the Kween,” but it’s fucking annoying (besides everything else that comes out of his mouth, his appearance and his life in general).

So Kade has been invited to appear at the 2010 Webutante Ball and (get this) he is being nominated for DOUCHE OF THE DECADE! HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH! Here’s the link:
http://tv.gawker.com/5539373/announcing-the-2010-webutante-ball

Guess who else is going to be there? JULIA ALLISON (of Nonsociety nonfame)! The only thing better than Arthur Kade and Julia Allison being in the same place at the same time would be an actual functioning car bomb in New York City that blows the shit out of both of them…then we could see pictures of their corpses (lying on cold autopsy tables) posted at rotten.com. If those two were to appear in a picture together, it will signify the meeting of the douche yin and the douche yang, the negative and the double negative, the matter and the anti-matter (as a commenter posted on Kade’s latest cyberfeces smear of a blog). Hell will split wide open, it will rain cats and dogs, and those who know about those two will have one hell of a good time laughing their guts out at those two cyberclowns.


If ANYONE can make it to this event, PLEASE let the rest of us know who will be accompanying Kade: GN Kang, Marissa Rosen, Lindsay Furman or Sabrina Strickland. Kade said that “I need to find a date that’s at least an NYC 9 and preferable a professional model to accompany Arthur Kade on his arm to make the impression that a “Rising Star” of my magnitude should make as well as an outfit that will have all of NYC and the Fashion World buzzing for years to come”, so that translates to him getting shot down by any girl he tries to pick up in a club between now and the Ball and will have to convince one of his hangers-on to go. (You know what would be awesome? If Kari Ferrell [The Hipster Grifter] took Kade for all the money he had and ran, just like she did to that guy in Utah. She should get her very own car bomb, that fuckin’ whore.)

Other than that, not much is happening in the boring-ass life of the Jaded Kade. You can purchase a DVD copy of La La Land when it comes out to see the half-wit get punked, but why spend the money when it’s on Youtube for free? Kevin Brueck has it in his ‘favourites’ playlist on his Youtube channel, so save yourself the cash and be a filthy downloader.

For some reason, the jerkoff is still talking about “his hit TV Show with IMG Media and NY Times Bestseller done with Trident Media Group.” Isn’t the planet running out of resources? Why are people dedicating ANY amount of time to giving Arthur Fatheadyshes the opportunity to splash his word-vomit on paper or gross people out in their own homes through the magic of television? Shouldn’t we be saving the best for last? He should have been told to fuck off a long time ago, but apparently some idiot sees money in this aging lisp-fluffer; therefore, we will have to wait and see if anything comes of his grandiose claims.

On that note, a word to Gawker: STOP GIVING KADE ANY ATTENTION. You people have much better things to do with your time, so drop Kade from your minds permanently. He should strictly be reserved for ridicule by myself, the remaining followers of Legowig and the nasty commenters on Arthur’s site, THAT’S IT. Enough people have been turned off by either Kade, the commenters or myself that they moved on quite some time ago, and all the power to them. Here’s what I’m talking about:

I’m probably reading too much into this, but it appears to me that Kade is trying to pick up this guy by playing it off as a scenario between the guy and how he would pick up a girl:

Finally, thanks to Anonymous for pointing out the zit/blister/herpes pustule/sign of AIDS on Kade’s upper lip. Here’s a shot of it:



And here’s a CLOSE-UP!

4 comments:

  1. Wowsers dude, that's crazy. I mean when I'm seriously looking for Car Insurance Quotes in Ohio, I start freakin' out.

    Arthur Kade is one crazy dude. I heard he ate a whole jar of pickled herrings. Live it up and be lavida loca.

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  2. Gawker has got to stop!

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  3. Isn't it great watching lispys progress after all these years of state funded therapy? Your tax dollars hard at work! He probably gets a disability check for the rest of his life. Lets give government more power to decide what's best for us.

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  4. arthur's website is way, way down in visits. it's only a matter of time until he crashes. fortunately, he still has some savings to blow, so we get to see him make a fool of himself for at least another 6 months. i actually hope he goes all the way and blows it all... which might take another yr or two. it will be painful to watch, but that way we can be assured he has wasted 3 yrs and ended up blowing through all his savings living in an empty apartment with no friends

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