"Lego Wig" Arthur Kade: The Journey (to a Mental Institution)

It's all over for Kadyshes

2010-06-04T17:10:00.000-07:00

Hi, it's the original Lego Wig Kade again, making my first post in almost half a year. On or around the New Year, I turned the blog over to "Alex B", a college student in Western Canada. I got bored of writing about Kade at all, after just 2 months and I was really "mailing it in" in November and December. I thought, maybe someone new, who still cared, could inject some interest back into watching Kadyshes flail and fail. It turns out, we'd unearthed much of the dirt on Kade in September and October, thanks to Kade's "friends" (he doesn't have real friends, more like acquaintances from clubbing). After the sad, pathetic details of the Kadyshes clan came out, there was no "there" there. Once it became obvious that Arthur Kadyshes isn't some spoof or faux-guido, that he really just is an obtuse, classless case of child abuse writ large, it became sad to watch Lispy McSlobberfuck mess up his chance at a respectable middle class life, much the same way his father and mother fucked up their respective lives.

I'm here today to shut down this blog, because it's really the only attention Arthur is getting from anyone. He only blogs 2 or 3 times a week these days, he attends guido parties far more than he works (even as an extra), his lies have gotten repetitive, and there really is nothing more to the Kade story than Groundhog Day-like repetition and emptiness. I'd like to thank all of Arthur's "friends" and former co-workers who emailed us tips. I apologize that we didn't want to post everything, because we couldn't cross-check or verify everything... and if we couldn't be 100% sure, we didn't want to detract from our credibility and become as pathetic as Kade.

Before I close the blog and change the password (the former password was "cockgobbler", in honor of Kade) I wanted to present a few facts as a trip down the sad, Norma Desmond (from Sunset Boulevard) "journey" that is Kade's waste of a life. A final, factual round up on the failed douchery of Arthur Kadyshes:

1.) Kade's site is a ghost town. Just look at the trajectory of site visits presented in this snapshot.

2.) Kade isn't getting the attention and feedback he desperately needs as an insecure, immature, formerly abused and neglected boy. Comments on his blog are way, way down. I guess you can only kick a loser so many times before you feel bad about it (or get bored of it).

3.) Kade isn't busy on a TV show, book, or even with extra work. He's writing a free column on Gawker (a site that relentlessly mocks him) once a week. A column that makes him look like a retarded wannabe 33 yr old guido and assures he never gets real acting work. Good job, Lispy.

4.) Both of Kade's parents are convicted small time criminals, Kade was clearly abused growing up, and he still invites a father into his life who has no fatherly interest in his 33 yr old son. A caring father would be able to connect with Kade, get him to stop the drug use and partying, and get into therapy. Ultimately, the groundwork for Kade being a massive zero was laid many years ago. The best explanation for Kade leaving a mediocre, but decent paying, job to start this search for attention and approval is that he's never felt loved or accepted in his life. And now that he's a punchline, even his former girlfriends are avoiding him like the plague, including the one who just got serious with a new (and better) guy and takes care of Arthur's dog that he can no longer care for.

I started to feel bored and kind of evil for mocking someone like this, so I stopped a few months ago. I'm finishing up my psychiatry residency this summer and I didn't want to keep carrying around the guilt of destroying the remaining shreds of Arthur's self worth. I hope we can all move on and I apologize to those who have still enjoyed kicking Arthur while he's down. We'll all be better people for just ignoring this fool and spending our time improving our own lives, careers, and communities.

Thanks to everyone else who helped design and write the blog and especially to those who took care of the blog for the last 6 months while I wasn't active here. After conceiving the blog and setting it up, I did almost none of the work of adding the Twitter feed, designing the site, creating the logos, or even writing the terms of service--that was all contributed by others who volunteered their time and skills. This left me free to email and text message with several of "Kade's Players" (mostly girls) who actually do NOT like Kade... and this led me to the facts about his sad life. I think it's fair to say that we had plenty of laughs and won in the end, but the only way to truly "win" when you're dealing with an attention-needy famewhore is to move on and live a better life yourself. Let Kade keep raging until he's even more haggard and old looking, with less money and prospects than ever.. while we live productive and happy lives.

If you're looking for funny sites that are still relevant, I suggest 419eater.com and rebloggingns.wordpress.com . Matt Beauchamp and other commenters from this blog have joined me over there, I have noticed. I find the topics on those humorous blogs FAR more intriguing and hilarious than anything Kade has done in months. His life is sad, not funny.

Have a great summer and best of luck to everyone,

LWK

P.S. If you want to re-live the douchery of Kade for laughs sometime, all of our videos and other content are still online, the blog will remain online, it's just that I'm closing the blog to new posts/comments to stop feeding Arthur's pathological need for attention. If you're looking for something to remind you of the days when mocking Arthur was high fashion, click here and then check out our other videos.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION:

2010-05-28T20:07:00.000-07:00

1. You start an "advice column" ("Ask Arthur", May 19th, 2010) that deals with mentoring and advice on dating, sex, relationships, career, and just basically living a “Sinatra-esque” life that you claim you will do on a weekly basis (you also refer to yourself as the White Oprah With Balls and think that this column is a serious step towards media domination of “The Biz”),

2. Doing a blog ("Being Thankful At 32 For Papa Kade", May 22nd, 2010) about how thankful you are that your father is now a big part of your life (the father that refused to have ANY part of your life from the beginning of it) AFTER people dug up the fact that he verbally abused and sexually assaulted a former employee. When you start off the whole tripe with 10 years of therapy and tens of thousands of dollars teach a person so much about who they are, why they behave a certain way, but they couldn’t give me what my father could, you're playing the sympathy card to people who only read your blog to have something more to laugh at (besides your claims of working at Neiman Marcus to look cool, I banged models so he would say I did, I spent money like water so he could see what I had, but most of all, I lived a life and profession that was for him and not me). More than that, you have someone type it FOR you because it lacks many of the spelling and grammatical errors that permeate your past blogs! Trying to reach out to your father without actually doing it yourself: F-A-I-L; saying that he is kind of spooky looking: S-U-P-E-R F-A-I-L,

3. Realizing that the first six seasons of “Lost” are comparable to my past life of being a financial advisor and model, and how Arthur Kade’s soul was in “Purgatory” searching for it’s meaning and purpose just like Jack’s and the Oceanic Peeps after they crashed, meeting Gen Poppers, “Mega-Bizzers”, and Supermodels, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle of “The Journey” together just like they have been doing on The Island, all leading him to the crossroads that is his current life right now, and the simplicity of it all coming down to where he is now battling the temptation of being a celebrity and rising sex symbol while still surviving as a working actor and living “A Third World Existence” while sharing it with the world and media through his now famous blog (Purpose (GawKade Covers Arthur Kade’s Thoughts On The “Lost” Finale), May 24th, 2010). Furthermore, in stretching your grotesque ego like a lip over your own head, you claim that god wanted Jack Shepard and Arthur Kade to experience each other’s souls, I walked into Chateau Kade’s fire escape where I pray every Sunday night for a “Kade Style” week, and just cried and said, “Thank You”. What I realized was I wasn’t thanking god for all the threesomes, fame, and worldwide popularity I had achieved. I was thanking him for reuniting Arthur Kade with his family, allowing him to show the Gen Pop the true meaning of living “The Dream”, waking up every morning and being able to do something he loves, being a great looking and ultra charming sex symbol, and most of all, being “Self-Aware”, and beginning to realize again after months of worrying and asking him for all the “Wrong Stuff” what’s truly important in life: Finding the “3 P’s”- purpose, people, and passion, and knowing that when Arthur Kade’s time has passed, and he is grabbing a beer with god at a hot club and talking about his “Test”, god will look at The Brand and say, “You’re all good brother. You already passed, “”Kade Style”"”".,

4. THINKING THAT YOU'RE SOMEHOW BETTER THAN (AND HAVING A GREAT INFLUENCE ON) A MAN WHO LOST BOTH ARMS IN AN ELECTRICAL ACCIDENT (Living With Courage, May 26th, 2010):
- I figured that they didn’t realize that they were sitting next to Philadelphia’s biggest celeb, Arthur Kade
- and the man yelled at me, “Do you think I want to relive the worst day of my life for your curiosity?” which I though was ultra rude (Knowing that him and the wife didn’t know who I was made it ok for me to forgive him, but really who talks to The Brand like that? It’s like screaming at Frank Sinatra)
- They kept looking over at me while they were sitting, and I could tell that they began to feel my celebrity aura, and must have put two and two together that I was Arthur Kade
- we started a covo about how much The Brand admired his toughness and courage, and then I told him about “The Journey”, and how Arthur Kade walked away from a multi-six figure career, weekly threesome, and status as Philadelphia’s most eligible bachelor to pursue the dream of becoming an award winning actor and author, and so far have become an international celeb, one of the sexiest men in the “The Biz”, been featured in movies with peers like Angie Jolie, Dev Patel, and Brad Cooper, and become a TV Star, and as we were talking, I could see the power of my courage, determination, and bravery begin to overtake him, and I could see the thoughts running through his head saying, “I may have it tough with this handicap, but what this kid has done is beyond great, and he has truly inspired me to live better and realize how lucky I truly am”, and that image was in my head the rest of the day as I worked on the book, that meeting Arthur Kade made a man who was dealing with such hardship and handicap see the hardship that The Brand deals with, and we were able to bond and make each other better.
It is at this point that you should now begin to see what a complete fucking self-centered asshole you really are...well, not only that, but also how I am beginning to see that although winning Lil’ Oscar, and being a “Multi billion dollar human entertainment corporation” will satisfy my professional hyman, it is the ability to help the Gen Pop who need some “Kade Style” inspiration that will truly hit my life’s “G Spot”.,

5. Posting a video on Youtube that goes like this:

(Ask Arthur-”The Hooded Warrior”, May 27th, 2010),

6. Thinking that you have such a huge impact on both (a) society and (b) the entertainment world that you post this link as a blog post (Arthur Kade’s Appearance At The 2010 Webutante Ball In NYC Featured In Philadelphia Magazine’s Gossip Column, May 28th, 2010) for all the Gen Poppers to see and gawk in awe at (despite the fact that, not only were you mentioned at the end of the page, everyone can see a picture of you standing there like a douche with that same-old stone-cold look on your face that you always give when you're getting pictures taken with members of the opposite sex),

7. You spout the same old shit about being an award winning actor, author, blogger, and celebrity...but WITH A TWIST! In addition to doing a weekly column, you spotlight one female who is having a big week in “The Biz”, and do a “Kade Style” breakdown on them. Then, as if things could not get any more embarrassing (without you realizing it, of course), you go and post this video:

If you have read (and understood) the 7 points outlined here, you are so desperate for attention you might as well be humping a fire hydrant while wearing a tutu and singing "God save the Queen." As Kade's detractors suggest in the comments section of his blog, you should probably kill yourself...however, in order to avoid prosecution in the future, I do not recommend such a drastic measure. My advice is this: take a look at the mess that is your life, grow up and stop being a douchey loser. Also, get the fuck off the internet AND STAY OFF! If you started your blog with the hope that it would be all daisies and roses, you were fucking wrong. People on the internet are BRUTAL. This is definitely not a place that you want to lay bare your soul unless you want people pounding it into the ground with a sledgehammer. Anyone who looks for praise on here needs their head examined. You can give us the good and the bad all you want; all you're doing is setting yourself up to be the butt of the joke. If you want people to pat you on the head and tell you how good you're doing, tell your parents and ONLY your parents. However, if you want your name to be associated with hysterical laughter followed by the most evil and disgusting insults....welcome to the Internet.

P.S. Thanks to Mike for emailing the following link:

http://siteanalytics.compete.com/arthurkade.com/

As one of the regular commenters points out on Arthur's site, "millions of followers..."

Arthur Kade recognized as a ridiculous famewhore and selected to be a dancing monkey for Internet Week 2010 in NYC.

2010-05-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

According to El Retardo, May 17th, 2010 is his 32nd birthday. I thought he was 33? 40? 45? Whatever his age, it’s too old to be doing Kween improvisations and taking Myspace-like pictures in public bathrooms. He has been unemployed (to our knowledge, at least) for the past year, yet he has the money to pay for bottle service, drinks in clubs and rent on a 1-bedroom place that is reminiscent of Hannibal Lector’s cell in “The silence of the lambs.”

The only way I can sit through any of his videos anymore is when I have turned the volume down to zero. I cannot bear the combination of seeing and hearing him at the same time because it makes me too uncomfortable. I didn’t think it was possible that another human being could make me feel as embarrassed as he does, but we all learn something new every day. I don’t know why the hell he feels the need to say “Hey everyone, it’s me, Arthur Kade,” at the start of every one of his videos, just as he begins every Kween impression with “Yes HELLOOOO bitches! It’s me, the Kween,” but it’s fucking annoying (besides everything else that comes out of his mouth, his appearance and his life in general).

So Kade has been invited to appear at the 2010 Webutante Ball and (get this) he is being nominated for DOUCHE OF THE DECADE! HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH! Here’s the link:

http://tv.gawker.com/5539373/announcing-the-2010-webutante-ball

Guess who else is going to be there? JULIA ALLISON (of Nonsociety nonfame)! The only thing better than Arthur Kade and Julia Allison being in the same place at the same time would be an actual functioning car bomb in New York City that blows the shit out of both of them…then we could see pictures of their corpses (lying on cold autopsy tables) posted at rotten.com. If those two were to appear in a picture together, it will signify the meeting of the douche yin and the douche yang, the negative and the double negative, the matter and the anti-matter (as a commenter posted on Kade’s latest cyberfeces smear of a blog). Hell will split wide open, it will rain cats and dogs, and those who know about those two will have one hell of a good time laughing their guts out at those two cyberclowns.

If ANYONE can make it to this event, PLEASE let the rest of us know who will be accompanying Kade: GN Kang, Marissa Rosen, Lindsay Furman or Sabrina Strickland. Kade said that “I need to find a date that’s at least an NYC 9 and preferable a professional model to accompany Arthur Kade on his arm to make the impression that a “Rising Star” of my magnitude should make as well as an outfit that will have all of NYC and the Fashion World buzzing for years to come”, so that translates to him getting shot down by any girl he tries to pick up in a club between now and the Ball and will have to convince one of his hangers-on to go. (You know what would be awesome? If Kari Ferrell [The Hipster Grifter] took Kade for all the money he had and ran, just like she did to that guy in Utah. She should get her very own car bomb, that fuckin’ whore.)

Other than that, not much is happening in the boring-ass life of the Jaded Kade. You can purchase a DVD copy of La La Land when it comes out to see the half-wit get punked, but why spend the money when it’s on Youtube for free? Kevin Brueck has it in his ‘favourites’ playlist on his Youtube channel, so save yourself the cash and be a filthy downloader.

For some reason, the jerkoff is still talking about “his hit TV Show with IMG Media and NY Times Bestseller done with Trident Media Group.” Isn’t the planet running out of resources? Why are people dedicating ANY amount of time to giving Arthur Fatheadyshes the opportunity to splash his word-vomit on paper or gross people out in their own homes through the magic of television? Shouldn’t we be saving the best for last? He should have been told to fuck off a long time ago, but apparently some idiot sees money in this aging lisp-fluffer; therefore, we will have to wait and see if anything comes of his grandiose claims.

On that note, a word to Gawker: STOP GIVING KADE ANY ATTENTION. You people have much better things to do with your time, so drop Kade from your minds permanently. He should strictly be reserved for ridicule by myself, the remaining followers of Legowig and the nasty commenters on Arthur’s site, THAT’S IT. Enough people have been turned off by either Kade, the commenters or myself that they moved on quite some time ago, and all the power to them. Here’s what I’m talking about:

http://gawker.com/5535411/americas-greatest-sexperts-meet-in-cock-summit

I’m probably reading too much into this, but it appears to me that Kade is trying to pick up this guy by playing it off as a scenario between the guy and how he would pick up a girl:

Finally, thanks to Anonymous for pointing out the zit/blister/herpes pustule/sign of AIDS on Kade’s upper lip. Here’s a shot of it:

And here’s a CLOSE-UP!

FAIL exclusive: Bad videos, a worse layout and a paper penis!

2010-05-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

Besides the fact that Kade is a massive idiot, he is also:

1. A Gen-Pop extra (on the set of "Dark fields" on April 28th) who was doing "Family guy" impressions with another extra,
2. A delusional attention-whore who wants the dozen or so haters that visit his website on a semi-regular basis to believe that there are a lot of people who follow "Duh Gurney" and they want him to update his site and make it more interactive, and
3. A joke to humanity in general and a lisping, lying loser...this will be obvious to anyone who reads the cartoonish fantasies that Kade doles out on his trainwreck of a blog (complete with grammar corpses littering the digital landscape).

At least the stupid shitstain has realized that he must constantly be doing/saying something offensive in order to bring the traffic to his website and raise the number of comments (which are currently at the lowest level I've ever seen them) to feed his cracking ego. Behold:

I echo Kevin Brueck (in response to his racist third cousin saying, "Go back to Africa!") when I say, "WOW." I don't know what kind of seemingly heterosexual male would type in (especially in big, bold, red letters) something along the lines of "She Draws Jesse James' Penis For Me!!"...especially!!! with!!! such!!! enthusiasm!!!...but I am finally starting to think that this guy might be a penis-swallowing, vagina-avoiding queerbag...and this is coming from the guy that said that you all should lay off the gay jokes because I didn't want this site associated with hate speech against homosexuals! (I still don't, but when Kade becomes this blatantly open without actually saying that he's homosexual, what else am I supposed to do?)

Kade STILL hasn't learned how to spellcheck or trim his god-awful Youtube clips, but he sure can choose a new site layout (http://wordpress.org/extend/themes/greyzed)! It's almost so juvenile that it should remind the reader of the LegoWig banner I put up back in February. You know the one: the 5 still shots from DOOM with Kade's mug plastered on each? Yeah...sorry 'bout that.

So he """"interviews""""" Michelle McGee in hopes that it will bring more "fans" to his Youtube page and increase the views on at least ONE of his videos, but after waking up on the floor after yet another painful viewing of a Kade video with that horrendous (and horrendously overused) 'Kade out' ending, I realized that I was screaming throughout most of it and didn't catch a lot of what "Bombshell" and "Coke vacuum" were saying...and I don't think I'm the only one who had that reaction. I now have a better idea of what Alex was going through in his Ultraviolence movie viewing in "A clockwork orange" and a new appreciation for Malcolm McDowell as an actor.

Aside from the new Wordpress theme and the adding of titles to at least one video, not much has changed over at Lispy's site: he still has the "Click here: I would love to hear your feedback!" line that opens up a new window to where his Snapvine voicemail USED to be (all that remains now is a few small red x's because Snapvine is LONG GONE); the post archives are (thankfully) still there, so I can continue to gather the best of the Katers' comments; and there's still a silly picture of him at the top of his page. What's new, however, is that you can now follow his latest Twitter braindroppings! Shame that we here at the Wig started doing it months ago, or else he might actually be on to something...but then again, when was the last time Mr. UnLaid had an original thought?

The good news is that there are still some good commenters over there. Does anyone still visit his site? I don't see how he could possibly benefit financially if some of you went there since those stupid t-shirt ads were taken down at least two months ago and his site does not rank in the top 100,000 in the U.S. (as of this writing).

And the journey of Kade spiralling into oblivion continues...much like flushing a turd down a toilet bowl.

Oldies but goodies.

2010-05-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

I don't think any of these have been posted yet, so here ya go. I won't be commenting on his "The Hypochondriac" post because he talks about his ass...and if there's anything more disgusting than watching one of Lispy's videos where his zit-popped, road-worn, spittle-sprinkler face is getting a close-up, it's Kade talking about his ass. Pure sickness.

Thanks to JW.

Thanks to Joescheppae Q.

Thanks to Radda radda.

Dancing With The South AfriKade Threesome

2010-04-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently, when you're a huge celebrity superstar (as Arthur Kade clearly is), you are obligated, once in awhile, to publish sex-related guides, such as he posted on April 17th, 2010 (called, unsurprisingly, "The Art Of The Threesome"). Personally, I got a big kick out of George Clooney's "Triple gangbang on your grandma" manifesto, and Christopher Walken's "Doin' it Prune Style" essay was right on the money (shot), but Daniel Day Lewis' marvelous paper entitled "How to convince your ex to do D.V.D.A. with a homeless guy, a medical test subject and Daniel Stern" took (at least for me) the cake. To boil down the critically important advice that Mr. Kadeanova dishes out, here are the bullet points:

- Use a girl that you bang regularly to help you pick up a new girl (known as a Wing Woman),
- Get the new girl drunk on shots,
- Befriend the new girl so she doesn't think you're some creepy stranger,
- Get the Wing Woman to take the new girl into the bathroom to make out,
- Take them both to your place, keep them drinking, and fuck them both. Oh, but don't forget a condom. You want to be as safe as possible when pounding two girls who have drank themselves silly.

Then the fucking moron goes to some "formal event" wearing a straw hat, a sweater and tight black jeans. Of course, when his 'cameraman' (my guess is GN Kang on a lower profile) pans to the rest of the room, NO ONE IS LOOKING AT HIM, contrary to what he claims. Not even I, in all my low-self-esteemed, Kade-obsessed glory would say (or do) something that god-damn retarded. But hey, it's not me making the videos for everyone to laugh at, so fuck it!

In his next literary opus, entitled "Dancing With The Brand" (April 19th, 2010), he makes a startling confession...

when The Brand gets an opportunity as the “Face Of Philadelphia” to make a celeb appearance, as well as support an amazing charity like Sickle Cell Anemia (The Brand encountered this first hand one time when a Black Model that he dated had a child with it, and although I wasn’t looking to be a “Baby Daddy” anyway, it was definitely rough and a bit of a turn off, and it really is a horrible disease that I might one day make a HUGE donation to after my first hit movie because of how close it hit to home

Then there's the usual crap about him being a celebrity (and ABOUT to become a "HUGE TV Star", which we're all STILL waiting on and have been for I don't know how long), doing embarrassing things in videos and taking many pictures of himself with various members of the Gen Pop.

the stares and whispering were almost deafening and when Gen Poppers saw me shooting vids at my table, I thought the crowd was going to form a line to get autographs and pictures

Yes, but they DIDN'T DO SUCH A THING, DID THEY?

I even got the chance to catch up with the biggest celebrity writer in Philly, Dan Gross

Who didn't even write about Kade when he covered the event! Also, why didn't he show off some moves at Philadelphia's version of 'Dancing with the stars'? Where's that video?

I'm not going to link to (or embed) Kade's videos of him doing impressions of Ray Charles or Luther Vandross because...well...you've seen how embarrassing he can be when he sings....so....I rest my case.

Finally, Arthur does a blog in which the title is a mixture of South Africa and his stage name, even though he's never been there, has never had any fans call him from there and has never had any press interview him from there. Let us not forget, however, the great postings that small, medium and Large African Child left on his blog oh-so-long ago...back in the day when the comments section of Kade's blog was a party and all the regular characters chimed in on his Race to Disgrace.

once Arthur Kade is an Oscar Winner, he would be a pioneer in the racial struggles of other countries, as well as a civil rights pioneer both domestic and abroad, and considering the history of apartheid in South Africa (I was just at dinner with a young dude who lives there who told me the girls are smokin’ hot, and it is a very sexual country where girls will do just about anything you ask them to, and considering that I am heavily followed there because of my groundbreaking CLEO Article a couple months ago, and all of my press/media from that, it would be a national Orgy if I came over) I would love to meet Nelson Mandela, and work together with the African American population there to further their cause and bring more light to a beautiful continent (I have always wondered if there is some African American Blood in my family tree because I was an awesome basketball player and athlete, was friends and got along best with other black guys in my high school, always wanted as a boyfriend by every Black Model I have ever slept with, and have big hands and feet and I could maybe do Lisa Kudrow’s show where we investigate our family’s history to see if this is in fact true, or whether I am 100% Pure Bred Russian Jewish)

Fail count: 18.
Damage done to Arthur's already-damaged character: catastrophic.
Number of people who will interpret at least part of that paragraph as racist: 20 and growing.
Course of action: Headshake/facepalm combo, then hysterical laughter at the thought of Kade being surrounded by black men outside a club in Philly and being confronted on his South Africa comments, in which Kade will stutter and quickly become afraid while one of the black men films the encounter with his cellphone and then emails the grainy footage to legowigkade@gmail.com

This will also be an opportunity to see what the adoption processes are for African children because although I am unsure if I want to have children of my own (Although a mixed breed child with me would be pure aesthetic perfection because I have Italian/Greek/Slavic features coupled with something else darker skinned would create a celebrity child that would end up on the cover of US Weekly every week with Suri because of it’s amazingly exotic looks, and I might even expose it to different religions like Scientology to give them a more well rounded and diverse look at life, society, and religion) I have always said that once I am secure with 8 figure movie deals and my own production company (I have even thought about joining DreamWorks with Steve, Dave, and Jeff if the opportunity presented itself, or if one of them wanted out of “The Biz”) I would pull an “Angie Jolie” and adopt a child from Africa and travel full time with nannies and whichever model or actress I’m sleeping with at the time.

Oh yeah, adopt African children as if doing so were a fad, just like Paris Hilton carrying a tiny dog around was a fad!

And the dumbest fucking thing I have heard come out of that 30-something-year-old's mouth is in the last 7 seconds of his "Papa Kade Comes Off The Airplane From FL" video:

"Isn't it amazing that when I wear my skull cap...our heads kinda match?"

(Big thanks to Mark Z. for the Recess pictures.)

More fan art.

2010-04-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

I apologize to those who emailed these a few days ago; I have been one busy Wigger. Nonetheless, I present to the Kade Haters some good submissions. After all, we're here for a laugh or two, right? Exactly.

(Thanks to RR and DK for the Balls Ass Hot pictures.)

Also, we've sent an email to the people who do casting for the TV series "Bored to death" regarding Kade taking pictures on set (something that extras are not supposed to do). In this case, however, we've emailed them because Kade took a picture of a topless woman on set...and posted it on his blog. Yeah, it doesn't get much dumber than that...well, aside from calling Jason Schwartzman an "up and coming actor."
Stay tuned for more "I can't believe he would say/do/type/film that" Kade Style content!

Kade comic.

2010-04-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

The fucker will probably copy it to his site and then claim that a "fan" sent it to him. Fuck you, Kadehole.

On his perch of Loserdom.

2010-04-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

One of the good things about hating on Kade for this long is that there are still people out there who will show the rest of us just what a failure he really is. Take, for instance, the links to a picture gallery posted by Mark Z. in the horrendously titled post, "The Arthur Kade Center For Hotties That Don’t Sex Good." Hey Fuckster, he was a character in a movie created specifically to make fun of moron jackasses like yourself. Trying to build off of that makes you a sad, sad specimen.
Anyway, check out 'Dances like a taser victim' here:

Yep, all alone with a Red Bull (keep drinking those, by the way, Kadester, I hear they're good for your heart), thinking he's the shit because he sits there 'above' the Gen Pop. Nowhere else in that photo album (http://www.wildinout.com/?q=gallery&g2_itemId=46872) do we see him mingling with anyone or getting his picture taken with anyone (unless you count this http://www.wildinout.com/?q=gallery&g2_itemId=46944 or this http://www.wildinout.com/?q=gallery&g2_itemId=47063).
According to Mark Z.'s comments, he tried to mooch drinks and convince them to let him into the V.I.P.! Ha ha ha! A REAL celebrity would have been INVITED into the V.I.P., Kadyshes. Look, I know you think you're a walking version of Montell Jordan's "This is how we do it" (maybe if Weird Al did a version of it), but the truth is that you're a laughing stock that people simply shake their heads at and ignore. I know you grit your teeth when you read this blog. Don't worry though, I'm in the process of making a video that will have you punching your laptop screen.

Hope you burn in Hell...
(with much love!)

Legowig

Best Kade blog quotes (part 1)

2010-04-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a LONG post, so have some spare time set aside...

I messed up in the last post when I made a comment about collecting the quotes from March and April '09...they're actually from February and March '09.
Anonymous (in the comments section of the last post) made a good point about returning back to the roots of this blog. I realize I had gone way, WAY off the beaten path with the past few posts and I apologize to those who believed I was stranding from the Legowig tradition. In order to get back to those roots, however, I think it's necessary to revisit the comments that made us all laugh time and time again. I have shortened some to include only the very best parts.
There may be some comments posted here that you may not think are funny, and that's fine; these are the best comments from MY point of view.
Part 2 will be much, much later...

Weekend in NYC for start of Fashion Week Part 1:(Bagatelle Brunch) 2/16/09

BIG FISH in a BIG POND on 24 Feb 2009 at 3:42 am
GOD you are an amazing loser. If I see you in Bags, I am going to douse you with my Jeraboam of Goose and light you on fire while you hang out with the poor people at the bar.
But your zoolander-esque idiotism is priceless…

Weekend in NYC for the start of Fashion Week: Part 2 (Night Time) 2/17/09

you suck on 05 Mar 2009 at 11:46 pm
Wow you are an atomic douche bomb.

The Friend Zone 2/19/09

Tom on 11 Mar 2009 at 8:06 pm
Dude do women really go for your gay Balkii {Perfect Strangers} look? You are a fruit!

Fear, Uncertainty, and 1Oak 2/23/09

BIG FISH in a BIG POND on 24 Feb 2009 at 3:28 am
You are such an amazingly large douche. Please keep writing; you can’t script this douchiness. Keep up the good work D-BAG. I hope I see you in 1Oak — I would punch you in the crotch you loser. hahahahhahhahahhahhaaaaaa.

The Internet on 27 Feb 2009 at 9:58 pm
I am sorry about your face.

New York on 27 Feb 2009 at 11:59 pm
Stay the fuck out. There’s too many of you turds here as it is. If you want to do us a service, round up your pouty-faced dbag posse and crash your car into a pack of Williamsburg hipsters. Make sure everyone involved dies.

I believe in Arthur Kade on 28 Feb 2009 at 12:45 am
…I believe you are the epitome of a generation so wrapped up in themselves and the get-famous-die-trying melodrama that you can no longer separate your so called “real” experiences from something on a contrived television reality show. If you wanted to be a model, you should have dropped about 120 pounds and gone for American Apparel, they love ugly assholes. If you wanted to be a writer, learn about comma splices. If you wanted to be an actor, congratulations your ability to separate fantasy from reality will keep you from ever parting from the type-cast gym rat. Your delusions of greatness has inspired the hatred of the world. The sheer arrogance that you’ve published will probably not shame the thousands like you from repeating your exact steps, though it should.
…Drown in your own piss, seriously.
Anyways, can’t wait for you to move to L.A. so you can wait my tables!

Danny G on 28 Feb 2009 at 3:22 am
I hope you die in a gasoline fight with your modeling buddies

Guido with a lisp on 06 Mar 2009 at 12:22 am
…Good luck modeling with that monstrous penis on your face.
Normally I’m not a hater, but your post is singularly retarded.
I’m just writing to say that you are an awful writer, and a guido douche-bag.
When people write funny movies about guido characters, it is people like you that they have in mind; and those movies are funny, because guidos totally do suck. Like you.
…When I see people like you in New York (douche-bag moolie guidos), hot off the Jersey Turnpike, I cross the street.
You are literally a lower rung on the ladder of human evolution.

Twangbangadangabang on 07 Mar 2009 at 2:02 am
Arthur,
I will put this to you simply and clearly.
You. Are. An. Idiot.
I’d call you a douchebag, but you’re such a lame-ass excuse of a dope, you’re an insult to all the guido scrotewanks of the world.
What you need to do is sell your computer and learn a useful trade, like insulation or farming.
…Your jejune ruminations are so vacuous and shallow that your very existence acts as a net subtraction on the sum total of human knowledge. Your brain is where ideas go to die.
Please, for the love of all that is good and reasonable, stay away from the interwebs. You can only do them harm.

You should have been a blowjob on 02 Apr 2009 at 11:32 am
I wish AK was followed by 47 so I could blow my head off after painfully forcing myself to read your shitty blog.
I’d like to recap your story:
1. Months ago you decide you want to change who you are
2. You get convinced by some dude that you’re a tool
3. Robin Williams gets you back on the douche saddle
4. You acknowledge that some girl thinks you’re a jerk-off
5. You are allowed in to the “cool” club b/c you have a connection with the scowling door man.
6. You tell a nerdy guy he has to buy you drinks all night
7. You annoy some girl who you’ve repeatedly annoyed for years
8. You go home and ask for a hair massage
Uh…you are clearly struggling with coming out of the closet. Seriously.

Emoda.com and The First Date 2/28/09

Journey of a Faggot on 28 Feb 2009 at 5:11 pm
Seriously man why do you keep taking down my comments??… You do write like a dyslexic 3rd grader and how you are hiding from the fact you were laid off and using this site as a pathetic attempt of side stepping the real reason you have the ungodly amount of time to write these terrible entries. “Diary of a Faggot”
Since finding this amazingly fantastic display of douchebaggery I have shared it with a few of my friends, obviously for a good laugh at your expense. They all agree you are blatantly a homosexual. Just come out of the closet and stop removing my comparison of you to the biggest douchebag in America…. JOHN FITZGERALD -
http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com/default.aspx
Or are you completely jealous he has music on his site and your basic web design doesn’t allow you to be that cool. Please don’t let me deter you from writing, everytime I log on I instantly feel better about myself.

arthurkadesuckscrustyflaps on 01 Mar 2009 at 9:19 am
…yeah i’ve totally read more than one post - it’s kind of like the worst kind of highway smash you know the ones involving tankers and 50 cars and shit like that - totally unbelievable shit that just makes you go wtf?
…renting out ur place to someone else and couchsurfing is hardly doing that
at 30 that’s fucking lame you’re a fucking douchebag loser fucktard
oh yeah and this is like some mad kind of bdsm - i really am getting sick pleasure from ripping on u dude because you are the biggest fucking douche - like fucking ever
have a shit day fucktard

Dalydvldog on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:44 am
Can I have an order for delivery. Can I get a large pepperoni with a side of fries and 10 wings hot. Oh, and a side of OH MY GOD, YOU NEED THERAPY!

Psychology of a Groupie 3/2/09

lispy lisps on 03 Mar 2009 at 12:10 am
you’re right… “douche bag” has been used entirely way too many times. although i find it to be the most perfect name for you, i’ll refrain from using it. you really are a fucking idiot though. this whole groupie post - hi - it’s about you. you’re the biggest groupie ive ever met. get your head out of jamie fox’s ass and get a grip. you say you’re known in philly as being “a bit of a player” HA.. BY WHO? your sense of reality is so warped it’s almost sickening. good work though quitting your job to be a background figure on Gossip Girl. You seem to be really going places. Anyone that defends you is a bigger ass clown than you are. they claim we’re “just jealous of your bravery”. wow, really hit the nail on the head with that one. you guys really got us there - we’re all jealous of arthur - his swagga, his career, his money, his status, his lisp, his reputation, his new found fame (because “no publicity is bad publicity” of course), his line jumping- people knowing-model banging self… and his bravery. got it. donate your time and 3/4 of a mill salary to charity and stop polluting the internet with such garbage. i cant wait til you get beat up. it’s just a matter of time. you’re a loser.

Joe Zambeak on 03 Mar 2009 at 7:05 pm
…You describe yourself as “highly motivated” someone who “trys” to succeed at everything - yet you failed to to spell tries correctly - you are not even motivated enough to use a dictionary - I think the only thing lower than your IQ is the self esteem of the women you meet. By the way Philadelphia was basically considered ” the part of New Jersey that didn’t smell as bad” until now - You Stink.

Philadelphia Sucks When it Snows 3/2/09

odonnavan, scott zettle and gargas on 03 Mar 2009 at 3:08 am
Man we love you…. PLease keep blogging you can roll with our crew any day. We as well are virgins so you should fit right in.
Your fake stories keep hope for all the losers in the world. Especially the one about the blind date. If you would like to Larp with us next friday in rittenhouse hit me up ( Life action role Playing ) Your wavey gay hair reminds me of the priest that used to touch me. Your nick names for you crew are great as well. Your like Max Kellerman from “do they serve beer in hell” except yours are nt funny. Maybe you too should write a book. Do you have a nickname? I know most people call you D-Bag or ASS clown. I came up with a new one “TIRD BURGLAR”
There are moments in our life when no one talks to us or girls constently reject us then Arthur Kade pops into our head. Even though the majority of people think your a clown we LOVE YOU. You give hope to the smaller people in the world.

Closure 3/4/09

Joe Zambeak on 04 Mar 2009 at 9:02 pm
Arthur, Arthur, Arthur - I foresee an entertainment career with more failed pilots than Al Qaeda. Have you studied acting or the Arts at all? You are the kind of moron who shows up at auditions and thinks that Ragtime is a musical about menstruation. You are more offensive than an Oktoberfest at a Synagogue. Please keep writing - the material is endless.

Edgar Allen Nan on 05 Mar 2009 at 10:21 pm
I have seen Arthur at all the Hot Spots!! Four Seasons Valet guy, Waiter at Buddakan, Bartending at Kung Fu Neck Tie, Dancing at the Cave, and Beer Tub Boy at Woody’s….no one can say Arthur isnt a hard worker

Stitch'n'the Groove on 16 May 2009 at 7:02 am
…The dog’s vagina that Arty was playing with is more likely than those 3 to make a worthwile contribution to any conversation.

The Drought 3/5/09

Jewish Lightning on 05 Mar 2009 at 5:53 pm
…How did you gain entrance into the club’s ladies room in the one picture anyway? Oh, that’s right, you pee sitting down you fucking homo. Tell me, do you get your period the same time as your Plastic Gash Posey? Probably. Also, how do you rate these girls on your Hot or Not meter? Looks to me like a bunch of 5-7’s dressed like whores so some tool like you will buy them Apple Martini’s and RBV’s all night.
…I think you should try to buy MORE girls MORE drinks and you will find the kind of girl you are looking for….one with a 2 pound cock you fag!
…If there is anything I’ve learned, it’s that girls with low self esteem and blank vapid blank stares love a douche bag.
Also, someone posted on here as Mugatu and said you only have one look, much like your idol Derrick Zoolander. I would have to disagree. It is clear me you have two looks. Your first look is “Jew Steel”. This is the look that you use primarily. The second look you have is “Old Catcher’s Mitt”. This is the look where you are forced to smile and your face turns into a California Raison. Seriously, post your picture with Vincent Papale and have your audience decide who is who.

Guy like you on 06 Mar 2009 at 10:08 pm
Dear arthur,
I am a young man much like yourself–studly, brilliant, good with women. One thing I’d like to do is build a network of men like me and you. If you’d like to join, please email me hear: twomenmakingloveisbeautiful@gmail.com. If you’d like to meet in person, we can. I’ll be the one in the trench coat. You bring the lube.

Fartstop Mc Faggoty on 30 Mar 2009 at 10:16 am
“I have had girls pretty much say “let’s go home”, and I have found myself finding something wrong, something that I am not attracted to, or just not being in the mood”
Sounds like you’d prefer a spam javelin to a bearded clam you gigantic pecker head.

QVC Host Opportunity 3/6/09

Lord of the Tools on 06 Mar 2009 at 2:59 pm
I found myself waking up with a hop in my step since it’s Friday… I could think the day could get any better until I was truly blessed to find a new post from Captain Toolbag. QVC should be a great place for you to hock new hair products, ugly sweaters that look like a pool cover for fat people or the other worthless crap they sell daily. What about the lisp?? Remember, Cindy Brady had a lisp and she fixed it too… The Zoolander look will go over well but I think your true talent would be wasted unless you take Count Nancula’s advice and go for the gold medal in Douchebachury. Way to dream big, tool.

New Pictures featured on Emoda.com 3/7/09

partypants on 09 Mar 2009 at 4:35 pm
You’re so full of yourself that you look completely constipated.

douche detective on 09 Mar 2009 at 7:57 pm
Not only are you a complete douche, you look like your face was smashed repeatedly by the back of a shovel. I mean, that nose is a piece of art–if the artist was a blind 4 year old. I’d really like to punch you in the face.

Rick Ross, Small Dogs, and The Red Ball 3/9/09

Hater on 09 Mar 2009 at 12:53 pm
Stop posting pictures of yourself. You look stiffer than your dick gets when Gerard Butler is around.

Matt on 09 Mar 2009 at 4:53 pm
Just when I thought the 50-car pileup that is your blog had ended and all that remained was a steaming pile of junk…that your couldn’t possibly add to the carnage that is your idiotic life…you go and post this tripe.
With each post you make…with each gay nickname you invent….with each skank you mug, I have to reconsider my decision that this shit is for real - that you are actually some clever marketer who is on the Internet to enrage everyone who reads you. That has to be it. NOBODY is this shallow and stupid. I refuse to believe it.
Cute dogs with pink leashes help pick up chicks? Do you think you’re telling us something we don’t already know? You know what else they do? The signify that you are a flaming homo. Why don’t you get two little Teacup Chihuahuas and name them Tinkerbell and Malibu, you mincing fairy girl Jew.
A small faggoty dog will be your “next large purchase”? A fucking DOG is a large purchase to you? I thought you were some big shot rich guy. I actually am quite rich and I’m, going to buy 10 starving Doberman Pinschers and sic them on your shaved ass. I can’t wait to see them tear into your designer jeans and devour your asshole. Then, they will nose through your purse and eat your gay little dogs for desert.
Speaking of, you have a bio section WITH NO BIO!! I wanted to make fun of your education and other bullshit but all you have is a bunch of stupid shit about how “genuine” and “amazing” everybody is. Here’s a clue….if you have to constantly remark on how “genuine” everyone is, you are either trying to convince yourself that the entire planet is not mocking you behind your back (they are) OR you are such a horrible fucking writer that you only know two adjectives (also true)
I have been ridiculing you on my blog…www.cretincountry.blogspot.com. You are larger than life, Arthur Kinkade. You are a fucking cartoon wrapped in a joke and shat upon the earth to irritate the entire human population. It’s working.
Because you are the King of the Cretins. I may even make you Cretin of the Month for March. Yes, I will definitely do that.

Matt on 09 Mar 2009 at 6:06 pm
Mr Kade…you are a modern-day Kenny Powers. Your blog is the poorly designed Lincoln Continental and your life is being ripped to shreds for the entire world to see. Kenny’s pain and humiliation was all over in less than 60 seconds but yours continues for all to see.

Travis the Chimpanzee on 10 Mar 2009 at 12:36 pm
…Very few people know this, but before I was a successful actor (Old Navy commercials, Coke commercials, television pilot with Cheryl Crow, etc.), I was a financial advisor. But, I turned my back on my six-figure income because I was not inspired and I needed an outlet for my creativity. My showbiz career carried me to the zenith of coolness. I was invited to all the hot parties at Xenon, the Bond International Casino and Area. I was crushing 8s, 9s and 10s like it was my job. Michael Jackson and I pulled the “Wobbly H” on Brooke Shields — it was off the chain! Even though your showbiz career will likely never be as successful as mine, I say go for it. The next time you’re in NYC, drop me an email (travis@giantredmonkeyass.org) and we’ll drink some Xanax tea, get agitated and go out to maul some skeezers. Boo-yah!

Captian Douchefinder on 10 Mar 2009 at 3:39 pm
You deserve to be thrown screaming from a helicopter, or castrated with fishing knives. You are certainly an example of why the world needs more abortions.

yyyyyeah! on 11 Mar 2009 at 6:59 am
i hope that little dog shits in your mouth whilst you sleep and dream of naked girls with dredels covering their nipples .

First Day at the Office (QVC Demo) 3/10/09

cheese on 10 Mar 2009 at 6:24 pm
I think you look fat and the video looks like it was shot at a shoplifters apartment.

Matt on 10 Mar 2009 at 7:29 pm
It is amazing how you are able to brag about yourself even during a demo video! Huge shoulders? Right. If anything, your shoulders are noticeably shrunken compared to the rest of you…
Do you actually wear a fucking scarf? Are you serious? I’m trying to think up something more gay….
I failed.
OH wait, a giant load of hot cum all over your face would be slightly more gay than the scarf. Do you wear it in South Beach?? In the summer? You TOOL!!!
No straight man knows all this shit. Boot fit? What the fuck it that?

ol' double X on 10 Mar 2009 at 10:24 pm
I thuppothe there’th a pothibility that you are not gay, but I’d thay it’th a thmall one. Ath to thith:
–I am now officially living the life of an actor; watching every penny I spend, searching for free wireless internet at bookstores, and eating slices of pizza at local shops.–
I’d jutht like to mention that you are a megadouche.
–My true personality was able to shine through on the demo–
You thay thith ath though it’th a _good_ thing, which ith thtrange.
OK, tho I can get a pair of jeanth and a thhirt for only $350??? Jethuth, where do I thign?
BTW no one would ever think a guy wearing a thcarf with a t-tthirt wath gay, tho don’t worry about it.

Captain Douchefinder on 11 Mar 2009 at 12:26 am
Wow, 200 dollars for jeans..It was probably made for 30 cents, and idiots like you try to sell them to other idiots.
Can someone here please take Arthur on an afternoon full of taser guns and beatdowns? Not to mention how boring that video was…It would be nice if you could spice it up with music or something…
Actually, the video would be more exciting if you weren’t even in it, and the cameras just filmed the clothing racks.
Scarves with just a shirt? Really? That sort of fashion doesn’t go right with my normal logic..It’s like when you eat ice cream, and your brain freezes, and you can’t think straight anymore.
Arthur, from me to you, stop these videos. Go back to Philly, where you belong.
Sincerely,
Douchefinder

Englebert Humperdouche on 12 Mar 2009 at 1:40 am
Arthur:
While I was sitting here whacking off to the video, I noticed that at 2:42, when you say you can move your arms to the side in the shirt, I could see that you actually were unable to extend your arms all the way out to the side. My old gym teacher, Mr. Unangst, taught me how to do arm extensions and a proper arm extension doesn’t look like that weird motion that you performed. I think that either (i) your shoulders are too enormous and are restricting your range of motion (ROM) or (ii) that shirt is defective. If the reason for your restricted ROM is that you are too enormous, then that’s great — I’ll just return to jerking myself off…

Douchetovsky on 02 Apr 2009 at 12:40 pm
This Can of Ass Soda makes me want to unload a bucket of rescued dalmation puppies into a wood chipper and shoot the bloody remnants at the local pediatric ward while listening to The Beatles “Ob la di, Ob la da”.
Enormous.
Shoulders.
Are.
You.
Serious?

G.I.G. Syndrome 3/11/09

Weasel on 11 Mar 2009 at 9:11 am
Dude, you don’t make any fucking sense at all.
…This is why people come on here (like me), just to see what kind of fucking planet of cheese you live on. It’s fucking amazing; it’s like watching a bus full of burning kittens plunge off a cliff.
…You drop the names of trendy restaurants like a startled deer drops shit pellets.
…She’s wiping her fucking feet on your face, but you continue to sit there and take it, somehow thinking you’re still going to be able to wear her vagina as a decorative tophat. She’s treating you like shit to see if you’re a man or not, and by continuing to sit there you’re obviously not, and therefore her pussy is going to instantly seal up like a fucking submarine hatch.
Guys like you turn women’s uterine walls into Triscuits; you’re a shallow, self-absorbed ass. I’d love to be a fly on the wall of the places you eat, but then again at the places you eat they probably serve flies as “Phlize” and charge $79.99 for it.
…Women would rather watch the C-Span Asparagus Crop Forecast than listen to your drivel.
Figure it out, and for the love of God keep writing. You give me endless material.

Dog the Douchehunter on 11 Mar 2009 at 1:06 pm
Arthur:
I read an interesting article recently that said 60% of all male Academy Award nominees got their big break either by (i) responding to QVC casting calls on craigslist or (ii) allowing Gerard Butler’s acting coach to go balls-deep in their mouths. So, it looks like you are trying to do all the right things…

douchilicious on 11 Mar 2009 at 3:44 pm
You forgot to write about the part where you and Chester anally penetrated yourselves after lunch with the left over pickles. What two straight men actually have a conversation like that? Do yourself a favor, put that scarf from your QVC video to good use, go to the Ben Franklin Bridge…you get the picture. Actually please don’t because your blog keeps me amused for hours. Keep up the good work butt pirate.

ol' double X on 11 Mar 2009 at 4:30 pm
–This quote popped into my head–
I’m thinking that having things pop into your head is not an unusual experience for you.

Car Girl on 11 Mar 2009 at 6:24 pm
Am I the girl you are talking about as a G.I.G—you know on our “date”? How can you even talk about me when I don’t even exist? When are you going to address the fact that you lied to everyone about me?
On a side note, do you think you can set me up with Radio Babe? I got $100 that can be used for a happy ending. She love me long time.

First Impressions 3/12/09

Charles on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:47 pm
Well at least we all know Aaron Speiser won’t have to help you act like a lisped, faggot d-bag.

Matt on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:54 pm
Wow! Looks like you inspired an audience of….three people….in what looks like the fake stage set of a bar in a porno movie between shoots. Reminds me of my old Libertarian meetings.
Just so I have it straight (no pun intended) - you and the female feel no connection but you and the male who calls you a “handsome boy” and who also has a financial interest in stringing you along…well, you and he just really clicked!
You know what else is clicking at a rapidly increasing pace? Any type of Gaydar device or Geiger counter that is placed close to you.
It only took you four rambling paragraphs full of “Del Friscos” and “Speiser” name drops to reiterate an old adage: first impressions matter. Congratulations!

ol' double X on 12 Mar 2009 at 2:57 pm
Remarkable. A woman talks to you for a while and becomes less and less interested. I for one am shocked.

hatorade on 12 Mar 2009 at 3:32 pm
hope everybody in the front row brought umbrellas…

Law student on 12 Mar 2009 at 9:40 pm
Your site should be callled: “I’m with Stupid: Deep Thoughts from a Douche.”

New Business Cards 3/13/09

ol' double X on 13 Mar 2009 at 12:10 pm
I’m tellin’ ya, you are the man. You never disappoint. Every time I think you’ve done the douchiest thing you could do, you top yourself. Nothing could make me happier than the fact you picked the most ultra-gay of your photos for the biz card. Well done!

The Answer on 13 Mar 2009 at 1:16 pm
…You should put what you do on the card. If you pay per letter, you can shorten your profession from “Professional Douchebag” to “Pro Douche” people would still get the jist of it.

Matt Beauchamp on 13 Mar 2009 at 9:07 pm
It is great to see everyone come together in their loathing of this turd pie.

Captain Douchefinder on 14 Mar 2009 at 3:32 pm
…This card makes me sick. If you ever gave me the card, I would immediately burn it, then wash my hands for touching it. After all, I wouldn’t know where your hands have been..like maybe your hands have been on a bunch of guys that you have been sucking up to, and there may be traces of their fluids on your hands…
On your card, put what your occupation is…It’s true that a picture is worth a thousand words, and your photos’ words are saying, ”Gay prostitute for hire. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
You are still a heaping bag of douche, and the level of douche you are is astounding.
Please get run over by a car. Or better yet……..kill yourself.

Salt 3/13/09

Battle Star Douche-tastica on 15 Mar 2009 at 3:28 pm
Any man who uses the term “fashion forward” is a raging cock gobbler. It’s a fact.

Call time 3/16/09

He's Enormous! on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:23 pm
…If Brad Pitt had a severely retarded gay twin who had every bone in his face broken during a hate crime at a gay bar–that’d be you. All the way.

Jason on 23 Apr 2009 at 5:45 pm
…“We are looking for anyone and EVERYONE to populate a street in New York full of 700 extras, so it doesn’t matter what you look like, and don’t worry, if you happen to have enormous shoulders, a gnarled tree for a nose, and a face that resembles ‘the penguin’ from batman, don’t worry we’ll just hide you in the way background!” Well played, you super-charged cum-guzzling taint.
The Kadeness isn’t rich, he’s a 40-year old unemployed homeless guy who used to be the “all-star” salesperson at Neiman Marcus, where they hired him because they needed the token gay guy to give fashion forward advice, and the customers bought boatloads of clothes without looking at the price-tag because they were too enamored by his greasy guido hair. He’s making minimum wage on this movie, if that, so of course he can’t afford to stay in a hotel the night before, doing extra work is the only “job” he can get nowadays.

Binn at 1Oak 3/16/09

MALF on 16 Mar 2009 at 1:52 pm
Did anyone ever mention you look like a cross between a broke ass Matthew McConaughey and ALF…

Matt Beauchamp on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:52 pm
…I hate on him because it serves a societal purpose. The same reason you scold and call out a 6-year-old not to pick his nose in public or to say “cunt” in front of your mom: because some things are not acceptable in polite society.
Being a colossal douche and braggart is not acceptable.

Lord of the Tools on 16 Mar 2009 at 6:54 pm
…The man pipe you must get each weekend must keep a smile on your face. What made you drop cat tranquiller in your new girls drink? She looks so happy to be there… maybe you told her she was going to be featured on your blog the next day.

brooklynboy on 16 Mar 2009 at 10:46 pm
this guy is like the male version of Emily Brill. She’s another useless twit who launched a blog which basically became a hate domain. Very funny hate rants but she at least had an education and a certain amount of class. This herb is total trash.
STRANGERS DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT CLUB YOU GET IN TO!. Unless they’re from fucking Kansas that is.
You’re a fucking h-o-m-o.

He's Enormous! on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:05 pm
Arthur Kade, you owe me a new pair of panties! I peed mine a little bit when you said someone told you that you looked like Brad Pitt. So people make fun of you to your face? Or did Brad Pitt play a role that involved him getting hit face first with a train, leaving him a brainless, walking pair of enormous shoulders?
Also, the pic with the girl in bed…the love you have for yourself dominates the whole shot. It’s even bigger than your shoulders. You fucking love yourself and don’t even care that that poor girl would’ve chewed off her own neck to escape that photo if that was a physical possibility.
You are too fucking funny, my friend.
And I mean funny like the creepy guidance counselor who smelled like tongue depressors at my elementary school who got arrested for child porn…that creepy, weird smelling sort of funny.

True Meaning 3/18/09

coors on 18 Mar 2009 at 7:26 pm
You just spent 30 minutes writing about true meaning when all you had to write is “I’m a douche”. That is the True Meaning isn’t it?

Team Douche on 22 Mar 2009 at 12:00 pm
“I have stopped talking to many girls in a club or restaurant; sometimes mid sentence because I figure out they are not giving me True Meaning.”
Let’s be honest here, you lost interest and stopped talking when you realized the girls didn’t have a penis…or the quoted price for a ‘rusty trombone’ was just a little too high.

Baby Steps 3/19/09

The Answer on 19 Mar 2009 at 3:23 am
…You walk into clubs/bars now and people laugh at you, is that what you wanted when you started this? You’ve completely destroyed your rep and any chance at a normal social life. But I love the endless fodder you are providing us with.

Team Noto on 19 Mar 2009 at 1:01 pm
Team Kade,
Reading your post this morning was like watching a bus full of school children drive off a cliff, fall about 1,000 feet and land…directly on top of another bus full of school children. And then the whole mess goes up in flames and the stenck of bbq kiddies fills the air…
…Does it feel weird when your penis and vagina touch each other?

Morning Ritual 3/19/09

He's Enormous! on 19 Mar 2009 at 4:03 pm
…Didn’t I read about someone named for Ketchup that asked you way back before this shit pile blew up on you if this was how you wanted to professionally brand yourself?
Jesus, I don’t want to ruin my own source of entertainment but your poor mother is probably ready to kill herself. If you had a friend in the world they’d be telling you to save yourself while you still (maybe) can.

Matt Beauchamp on 19 Mar 2009 at 5:40 pm
…you are so coked up all the time you do not know what is happening. It all makes sense now.
…I pity you the shame you are going to feel when you come down off that high. You have wrapped the Internet around you like a pair of tightie-whities…and now your blog is an indelible shit stain upon it. You are going to sober up, look at this disaster and say “what the FUCK?!?!” and try to scrub that shit stain away with bleach. It will be too late. All the gay videos and lame introspectives will be floating cyberspace for eternity…like half-formed turds on a mighty river.
I wish I could be there when you realize it.

Bob's Your Uncle on 19 Mar 2009 at 7:03 pm
… Kade’s Korner is right by the Mens Restroom, and backdoor. It is the worst seat in Cosi, as it smells like ass and garbage. Take from this what you like.

brooklynboy on 19 Mar 2009 at 7:44 pm
your morning ritual probably goes like this
8:30 a.m. wake up with one eye crusted shut from the cum load taken during the previous night
8:45 a.m. workout to a richard simmons vhs
9:30 am. strut ur fairy ass to the coffee shop
10 a.m. eat the piss filled omlette your boy Blue “specially” prepared for you after reading this shit filled blog.
words can’t describe you.
with that said, please continue to post more vids. thx

Laughing my ass off at you on 20 Mar 2009 at 9:43 am
…the office poll now stands as such:
82% think you’re gay
11% know you’re gay
7% wish that someone would bludgeon you to death with a 14 inch dildo.

Truth Slap Interview 3/20/09

ol' double X on 20 Mar 2009 at 3:42 pm
I don’t think the list of categories at the top left is sufficient to describe the content of this blog as it evolves. Here are some suggestions to round it out:
Googling For Gigs
I Am Excited!
My Next (and Next and Next) Audition
Handling Rejection
Benefits of Speech Therapy
My So-Called Friends
My Nose Job
The Drought
Keeping Off Flab
When Is It “Experimentation”?
Psychiatrists
My Second Nose Job
Impotence Cures
Drinking During the Day
Justin
TV Weatherman Auditions
What Is Failure?
Poppers
The Rash
Newer, Larger Clothes
Another New Boyfriend
Incarceration of Radio Babe
Can’t Believe I’m 40!
Madras Shorts
What Do “Carnies” Do?
On The Road
Ducking Hotel Bills
Cheapest Tequilas
What Is Life?

Team Noto on 20 Mar 2009 at 3:51 pm
Fagtard: a bi-pedal half retard/half homo named Arthur Kade.
Fagtarded: Arthur Kade’s behavior in public in the tri-state area.
Fagtardlings: The offspring from Arthur Kade and another man which can only be born from anal childbirth.
Fagtardia: The breakaway Russian republic that Arthur’s parents were from. Half of the inhabitants are gay, the other half are retards. Their chief export, like Kazakstan, is fine, export quality pubis. It grows all over the countryside, including the heads of 14 year old boys.

Emoda.com, StrongBox, and Salt 3/20/09

Team Noto on 21 Mar 2009 at 11:47 am
…You need a girlfriend or a boyfriend or someone to film a video of GN taking a dump in your mouth. Something to spice this up and get people interested again…

cufflink on 21 Mar 2009 at 5:45 pm
i was at strongbox last nite. it sucked. it was the size of my garage and filled with uberdouche. arthur, your a fucking tool. give it up.

Angelina Jolie 3/21/09

Mike Honcho on 21 Mar 2009 at 10:22 pm
I’m sure we will see him in movies soon, especially if you watch straight-to-internet free gay porn.

Dr. Teeth on 23 Mar 2009 at 5:58 pm
Oh God, please die in a fire. What a horrible human this strapper is

Sigh on 24 Mar 2009 at 9:33 am
I mean this in the nicest way possible: I hope you get hit by a bus.

Human Resources on 24 Mar 2009 at 1:24 pm
Dear Mr. Kade,
We are sorry to inform you that you have been banned from the planet earth. We have received an overwhelming amount of Requests to Die due to your blog, which features writing of your thoughts (not many), your opinions (irrelevant) and pictures (cause brain tumors).
You have three (3) days to relocate. We suggest Uranus.
We apologize for any inconvenience.
HR

4.6 on 24 Mar 2009 at 2:45 pm
only know you exist because there was a picture circulating of you on face book saying “I’d cover my face too if Arthur Kade was trying to take a picture with me, because he has aids”

Bad Joey Nightmare on 27 Mar 2009 at 6:20 am
I’ve just tried to find you on IMDB, it was really tough at first then when I typed “vain arsehole once famous for standing behing Liev Schreiber in a film” I found you straight away.
Other keywords that seem to lead straight to you include “cock” “wanker” and “man who’s had lots of cosmetic surgery but weirdly left his massive hooter entact”

The Mighty Douche on 27 Mar 2009 at 6:39 am
I’m a 350 pound unemployed hairy-assed loafer with a 3 inch penis and an average porn collection, but things could be worse and I see that now thanks to you Arthur Kade. I’m focussing on the positive now thanks to you Arthur Kade!
What a guy!
What a nose!

Julia on 03 Apr 2009 at 5:40 am
You are the most disgusting, vile, greasy man I’ve seen in a long time. Ugly, ugly, fucker. No wonder Jolie was looking over at you - probably wondering how an oil slick came to land on your scalp!

Mojo 3/23/09

the sword of justice on 24 Mar 2009 at 6:09 am
this is teh most wonderful thing i have ever seen in my life. this site is like a puckered asshole sitting in a barber chair staring at a mirror which is staring at a mirror. infinity? you betcha.

Afternoon Routine 3/23/09

Sigh on 24 Mar 2009 at 10:13 am
Hey, Bateman, how many hookers have you killed this week? Also, it’s 10:00 a.m. on a Monday and you have yet to verbally fellate a NYC club doorman. Seriously, we can’t wait to hear how Binn or Wass or JonnyFuckface gently caressed your taint as they let your douche posse through the pearly gates into the GREATEST PARTY EVER. Also, I hope you die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Toodles.

Team Noto on 24 Mar 2009 at 10:47 am
…I did a little research on that supplement that you seem to be taking waaaay beyond the recommended daily allowance. Yes, our old friend Semen. “Seminal fluid… is composed of dozens of chemical components. The base of seminal fluid is primarily fructose (sugar) and proteins, with many other trace minerals and substances. Here’s a listing of some of
semen’s ingredients:
Sugars: Fructose, sorbitol, inositol
Proteins and amino acids: glutathione, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), creatine
Minerals: Phosphorus, zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium
Vitamins: Ascorbic acid (vitamin C), vitamin B12, choline
Hormones: Testosterone, prostaglandins
Body byproducts: Lactic acid, urea, uric acid, nitrogen…
Semen is a source of highly concentrated, high-quality protein. In dietary terms, it’s comparable to egg whites or gelatin. Besides protein, semen contains high concentrations of some minerals, such as zinc, and trace amounts of other important nutrients, like calcium and magnesium.”
So I guess the message is that you ARE doing something right afterall. Maybe you’re on to something…and it definintely explains the hour you spent in the men’s room at Mur.mur the other night. Glory hole!!!
Oh yeah, I saw you on gossip girl last night and of all the extras, your nose stuck out like a retard at a MENSA convention. Fag.

Mungina on 24 Mar 2009 at 2:47 pm
Your big radio appearance was rescheduled due to technical difficulties? Sounds like a quality program. Did his Mom need the basement to do some laundry?

dave on 27 Mar 2009 at 8:03 am
Please confirm or deny that you are/are not Joaquin Phoenix pretending to be a closeted homosexual epic fail.

Gossip Girl 3/24/09

Sigh on 24 Mar 2009 at 12:10 pm
I would love nothing more than to throw a brick at your face. Hard. That is all.

douche detective on 24 Mar 2009 at 12:18 pm
…your friends should know that tv shows don’t have male stars with voices that sound like a chick with a dick in her mouth. You’d be perfect for gay porn though–but your huge broken muppet nose might get in the way when kissing dudes…

douche detective on 24 Mar 2009 at 12:22 pm
Wait, I got it. You sound like a hispanic Richard Simmons. When will you post the youtube workout video “Sweating to the Landscaping?

Art's Phone (pink Motorola Crazr) on 24 Mar 2009 at 4:05 pm
Message 1: “You look [like the lovechild of Noah Wiley and one of those Gotti kids if it was beaten with a shovel and dressed up in a DKNY tie from the 90's]. Wow, just %$#%&* amazing”
Message 2: “[Sometimes, after a long night of drinking beer and eating nachos, I spend the better part of the next day shitting these long, skinny pieces of feces that stink to high heaven. You could be one of them”.
… PS - My battery is low, so if you’re going to put me on vibrate and shove me up your ass again tonight, you’ll have to charge me first.

Not Ur Fan on 24 Mar 2009 at 9:46 pm
…if your goal is to become an extra many times over and be crowned nationally as the biggest douchebag in America, then you are doing an excellent job so far and those would both be realistic goals for you to pursue.

Charles on 25 Mar 2009 at 1:57 am
…That one picture of your face all scunched up looks like a testicle. Holy shit, man…I am an ugly dude but next to you I have a fighting chance. Can’t wait to hear your Mom have to defend you again you pussy.

Fame 3/25/09

Arthur's Anus on 25 Mar 2009 at 9:39 am
I’M SORE.

Arthur Cunanon on 25 Mar 2009 at 10:13 am
your the Bernard Madoff of the Philly social scene, a straight up Fugaze!!!
Your just like your your brother Andrew Cunanon will do anything for fame even taking all those pipes in that lispy mouth…

YouSickenMe on 25 Mar 2009 at 11:14 am
Listen here, pickle-kisser, your arrogance is exceeded only by your douchebaggery. Morever, by the looks of you, I have no doubt that you’re suffering from numerous sexual disorders including, but not limited to, frotteurism (look it up). In fact, it’s likely that your “breakthrough” performance will not be on the set of Gossip Girl, but rather on an episode of To Catch A Predator. I seriously can’t wait to watch Chris Hansen kick your door down. And, as always, go fuck yourself.

AnastasiaBeaverhousen on 25 Mar 2009 at 11:56 am
… what sickens me more is that you went to Temple. I have always been a proud graduate of the school……until you came along with the misspellings and the total disregard for the English language. Now people all over the country will think that Temple U is full of window licking, short bus riding, non-bathing, clueless douchebags such as yourself. Off to burn my degree………

I want to be like you! on 25 Mar 2009 at 7:03 pm
Dear Mr Kade,
When I grow up I want to be just like you. My Mom asked me what my profession would be and I told her I would be a famous extra with massive shoulders and only 5% body fat. My mom said that would be difficult considering Im only a 3 and an arrogant little twat but then she saw you blog and agreed that I should follow my dream…

My interview with Richard Brian Penn 3/26/09

arthur's companion on 26 Mar 2009 at 6:54 pm
Arthur,
How come everytime you see me, you flex your muscles, show off your sense of style, shadow box and then proceed to fuck me so hard? Please, I need a break.
Your full length mirror

Last summer 3/26/09

Jew Steel on 26 Mar 2009 at 9:49 am
Translation Time
She kept playing with her hair = her tranny wig was slipping down over one eye.
She was giggling = she’s seen my blog, and she likes it, but not in a good way.
I am married = I have no interest in sleeping with you.
The Old Arthur = the same as the new Arthur, the only difference is the new Arthur is on a “journey”
My resume is somewhat raw = I have been an extra twice and done some catalogue work.
My acting chops = I am pure ham.

KC on 26 Mar 2009 at 10:38 am
I’m assuming you got this audition due to your headshot?? They obviously have not heard the lisp yet…remember go in there with pride for you are The Human Lisp
I’m also assuming the reason you were visualizing your audition vs.. practicing your lines is because you weren’t sure how to pronounce the words with the lisp?? Do you carry a spit jar with you into your auditions?

Hater on 26 Mar 2009 at 1:09 pm
Although some people say nothing good ever happens after midnight, I maintain that the absolute best things happen after midnight: Hugh Jackman’s bi-curiosity, the Kardashians’ indifference to video cameras in the bedroom, Kade’s indifference to a tranny prostitute’s gender, and glory holes, to name a few. And let’s not forget all the delectable, nutritious food that’s been used time and time again to lure the heavyset back to a waiting (reinforced-frame) bed.
Last night, I saw Kade having trouble closing on a lovely woman with a glorious spare tire that he told me he was just dying to see jiggle when - lo and behold - a gyro stand stood waiting at the next corner.
As it turns out, tzatziki sauce can double as a very effective lubricant.
True story.

ICan'tTakeIt on 26 Mar 2009 at 1:17 pm
If Corky Thatcher and the actress who played Mama Fratelli in Goonies met and fucked and had a daughter….and that daughter was subsequently knocked up by Steve Buscemi and then proceeded to binge drink, smoke crack, and snort heroin during pregnancy before giving birth to a son….and that son was brutally and repeatedly hit in the face with a shovel coated in hydrochloric acid…that son would still look like George Clooney compared to Artie Kade

Sleeplessdave on 30 Mar 2009 at 6:23 am
Dear Comentators,
My somewhat intruiging tale that i am about to bestow upon you all started about a week ago. After eating some bad cheese at the movies, i went to bed feeling the most ill of ill… I tossed… i turned… but eventually driffted off into the wonderland that is dreamland… I awoke violantly… sweating like a whore in church… crying… After coming to my senses and wiping away my tears, i pulled myself towards myself. Took a deep breath, and tried to make sense of what had just happened. I strained to recall the immensely frightning dream that caused the restless slumber. All i could muster up was a name….
“A… A… Authur Kade” i stuttered in complete confusion.
What the fuck did it mean??? Was i under attack by some vile creature from another world???!!
The days that followed were to be a hazy blur followedby the the same sickening nightly occurence……………………..……………………………………………………….
I’m getting bored now so the bottomline is this…
Authur… You’re a twat…
No really.. you are… i mean fuck… i’m from South Africa… 12,000 fucking MILES away…
And i think you’re a cunt… Somehow, in some wierd way… you are now famous worldwide… for being a dick…. haha
ps… you have the literary skills of a retarded troglodyte…

Love Taxi 3/26/09

Steve from Buffilo on 26 Mar 2009 at 10:04 pm
Hey I understand man. Because of my weight, I only try for women in the 4-6 range at bars. However, when that game’s run dry, I just pretend to mess around with my beeper until a 7-10 girl leaves and then I follow her home, watch her enter her building and go through her garbage to figure out where she likes to hang out. I then go eat microwave pizza. I call these ’secret dates’.

The Truth on 27 Mar 2009 at 11:27 am
I find your website inspiring and it got my head racing with ideas on how to further your dream. Instead of surrounding yourself with the gaggle of preening sycophantic enablers , you could surround yourself with a couple of crack-addled rabid crazies with a penchant for gang rape. Just a thought. Lemme know how it works out

Arthur's Mom on 27 Mar 2009 at 6:19 pm
Arthur,
You closed the comments to the Emoda photo. To your own momma too. You pussy.
Emoda doesn’t even come up on wikipedia. The photos of celebrities are in a blog section along with some corny interviews.
Son you exaggerate everything. Like the time you came home from school in sixth grade I overheard you bragging to your friend about “finger banging” (I think is what you said) some girl at school. If you recall I was concerned and called your teacher and she said you were not doing things with girls at school, that you were usually trying to impress other boys more, and she actually had to keep your hands off the other boy’s more than the girls. Come to think of it. I remember catching you trying to get little Christoph to pull out his penis in the back room of the Russian Community Center. Arthur your so funny. We miss you at the salon. Remember that one gay customer, the business man? He stopped coming in when we told him you aren’t here to give head rubs anymore.
Well, don’t get into too much trouble at Cosi and in the gay-bor-hood today.
Love you,
Nanna

Confidence 3/28/09

Pnestar on 28 Mar 2009 at 12:33 pm
Have you ever auditioned to play the lead role for a circle jerk in a scout hut?

Gumball Rally 3/30/09

Blanche Devereaux on 30 Mar 2009 at 12:24 pm
Your value doesn’t even amount to the juice squeezed from an old whore’s soiled Tampon. Do your keepers a huge favor: do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up your own asshole.

Dance Routine for Audition 3/31/09

Manfred von Assenhammer on 02 Apr 2009 at 11:41 am
was this your audition tape for “So You Think You’re a Douchebag?” that is the lamest, whitest “hip hop” dance i’ve ever seen on youtube, and that’s saying something. you’re about as hardcore as the wiggles. this dance is as hood as “The Urkel”.
i don’t think any major motion pictures will be interested in a thirtysomething megadouche failed actor, except for the possible exception of the upcoming XXX DVD Gay For Pay #86. they’re always looking for failed actors. and personally, i think taking it up the ass on camera would be a much better career move than doing this craptacular tardariffic “hip hop dance routine”. however, once i get funding for my new project “Epic Fail: The Motion Picture” i’ll be sure to give you a call. i think you would be perfect for the leading role.

He grins at his fantasy win while we facepalm at his reality failure.

2010-04-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

How long can I keep doing this, you may wonder? Throwing out insults, marking his quotes in blue, calling him out on statements that I think are suspect...Well, I’m going to do it as long as it takes. I don’t believe Kade will kill himself, nor do I wish such a thing (not only for legal reasons but because I’m not quite that kind of asshole); therefore, this will go on for quite some time. I think that, by the time Kade decides to throw in the towel (which I suspect will take at least another year), everyone who started following Duh Gurney will be gone…and probably me, too (to be replaced by another Kater, no doubt). Until then, however…

Does anyone think Karina Bradley worth mentioning as a fellow douchebag at this point (because she hangs out with Gabbana, aka Michelle Miller), or do we have enough human scrote to deal with as it is? (Directed at Anonymous’ quote on March 22, 2010 3:40 PM from the “Kennerly vs. Kade” LWK blog post.)

From the same post, thanks to Tam for posting the link to http://funmeme.com/post/2010/03/18/How-to-Become-an-Internet-Celebrity-in-25-Easy-Steps-e28093-Funny-List.aspx

There’s been speculation in the past about Kadyshes selling his “company” for a lot of money (the money that he’s supposedly now living off of), and it would be interesting to know if he actually did do such a thing. Is it possible that he's on welfare? The man hasn’t had a job in over a year and he seems to be spending a lot of money (mainly on bottle service and dining out), so where the fuck is the cash coming from? Could this (http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actuarial_discussion_forum/showthread.php?t=189047&page=3) be an indication, or is it someone else simply using his picture?

March 30th, 2010: The Brand Interviewed By Southern Kadestralia’s Number 1 FM Radio Show (The Rabbit, Amber, And Cosi Show On SAFM

http://www.safm.com.au/shows/rabbitamberandcosi/listen/podcasts

His intro begins with the usual bullshit about being an actor, author and celebrity. One of the first questions he’s asked is about…the Kade scale. Why in the fuck does (almost) everyone who interviews him want to know more about his Kade scale? SURELY there are other, more controversial things (either on his website or in his head) to talk about that will get people riled up and increase the ratings! Why not challenge Kade on his celebrity status? Ask him what the title of his book is and the name of the publisher? Who his agent is? FUUUUUCK! WHY do these radio and TV show people not ask the tough questions? Were they all once part of the White House press corps?
Kade says he puts himself out there (“the good, the bad and the ugly”), but I’ve yet to see anything good about him. The bad and the ugly have DOMINATED his blog since the beginning (especially the comments that he’s received). However, it appears that he was able to keep the interview going with little to no silence in between (I suspect heavy editing on the part of the radio station), so he at least appears to be marginally competent in SOME respect.
It was a short interview (I think this one clocked in at around 5 minutes) and the link is there simply for posterity. Kade didn’t specify how long his appearance on this #1 FM radio show was, which was surprising because the last few times he has thrown out an exaggerated number (like everything else in his fantasy life, he either creates things out of thin air or blows them up as much as possible).

we all went over to some dive bar called “Coco’s” for drinks, and it was great to see the expressions on my classmates faces as they felt the aura, warmth, and excitement that the celebrity and future Oscar winning actor, Arthur Kade provides to any group
A huge celebrity like you? In a dive bar? The place must have been cleared out to make way for Mr. Balls Ass Hot himself!
Also, you mentioned “warmth, and excitement”? You mean when you interrupted them around the 0:35 mark with a loud “CAN I GET A SERIOUS MOMENT HERE?” you fucking asshole?

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m going to keep on saying it: watching his videos make me very uncomfortable because of what an ASS he is in public (and to other people). He’s a poor, dumb, laughing stock of an annoying blowhard AND a downright rude son of a bitch. He’s like a giant child; he’s got no social filter. There is absolutely nothing (that I can see) to substantiate his grandiose behavior. I know I’m beating a dead horse, but these things need to be said from time to time.

one of the girls who came to watch our performances who read about my groundbreaking and Internationally renowned featurte article in Philadelphia Magazine last year, said about The Kadeicorn, “You’re everything I hoped you would be” (Referring to the amazing looks, charm, and bigger than life personality that The Brand possesses)
It’s great that you pointed out what she really meant and what was ‘between the lines’, Kade, otherwise we might have assumed that she meant that you were a greasy, stinky, annoying, nostrils-the-size-of-buckets FREAK.

Also, his BBC (blogging beach chair) broke…BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! Did you leave room in your budget to buy another one from Wal-mart (or wherever the fuck you got it from)? You’re quite the LOSER!

March 30th, 2010: My Suite In NYC Tonight

Yup, it’s a regular room, just as you resident Katers may have guessed. Kade peddles the same old schtick every time, and every time, like an idiot, I report on it, trying to give it some new spin in the form of an insult or a point of view. Eventually I’m going to develop a formula so that those who are still following Duh Gurney from the ‘Wig will know exactly what Kade has been up to, where he’s been and what lies he’s slobbering out this week. It will go something like this: you will visit this website and, on the latest post, you will see a short mixture of letters and numbers (kind of like a Youtube video), each letter and number will correspond to names, dates, places, lies, exaggerations, etc. that I will already have defined and put into a table (if you forget how to read the code, you can refer to the table, which will be in the “Threads to remember” section) and WAH-LAH…you spent 10-20 seconds at the ‘Wig finding out what Arthur was up to and you’re back on your way to your important life. Waddayathink?
The most disgusting thing about the video, which I will NOT link to (besides Kade saying the word “38th” and me suddenly hallucinating that a tidal wave of spittle flew out of his mouth and burned my face as if it was battery acid), was him not only alluding to piss in a toilet BUT SHOWING IT. HE COULDN’T EVEN PUT THE FUCKING LID DOWN. FOR SOME REASON, THE FUCKWAD COULDN’T FLUSH THE TOILET AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN BEFORE HE STARTED RECORDING ANOTHER IMPORTANT KADESTER MONOLOGUE. DOUBLE YOU TEE FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY SAW.

April 1st, 2010: The Brand Featured In Jezebel And Inside Vandy (The Vanderbilt Hustler)

One of the great things about following Kade and his Gurney is this: whenever Mr. Shitstorm makes something up or blows something out of proportion, there’s always a few people in the comments section who call him on his shit or re-educate him. I’m learning quite a bit about Philadelphia and New York City just by reading the comments! Hell, I think a blog should be started about the Kade commenters! Who’s with me, WHO’S WITH ME? Alright, more on that later.
He talks about going “ridic back stage at a HUGE event”, which turned out to be the Mercedes AMG Banquet at the Pre-Opening of The NYC Auto Show (something that a commenter said wasn’t very private or hard to get into), then drops links to two online articles that CRITICIZE HIM. I don’t know when Kade will learn (if ever) that negative press IS NOT ALWAYS good press! In this day and age, people are starting to wake up (and it’s about god damn time) and see through the media hype, see past the bright lights, and see assholes for what they really are: people to be ignored. Now, when am I going to take that initiative? Shut your filthy whore mouth, I’ve got a duty to fulfill here.
Here are the aforementioned links:

http://jezebel.com/5506444/the-taxonomy-of-proud-assholes
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/13697

Kade makes the claim that VanderBilt University is (Named after another Mogul, Gloria Vanderbilt). A quick troll of the comments section brings up the following:

5 Axis Diagnosis on 01 Apr 2010 at 3:28 pm

Vanderbilt wasn’t named after GLORIA Vanderbilt, you assclown. It was named after Cornelius Vanderbilt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanderbilt_University

Even Wiki Knows on 01 Apr 2010 at 4:16 pm

Vanderbilt University is a private research university in Nashville, Tennessee, United States. Founded in 1873, the university is named for shipping and rail magnate “Commodore” Cornelius Vanderbilt.

God, you’re stupid.

FINALLY, April 2nd, 2010: Unscripted Talent?

As I was having an amazing convo with an “A-List” “Mega-Bizzer” KA Agent (He has asked not to be identified) who has been following “The Journey” and the progress of my acting career
Either the “Mega-Bizzer” doesn’t exist or isn’t as “A-List” as Fuckedyshes claims. Also, you have no acting “career.” I’ve been an extra, taken acting classes, and traveled in order to pursue acting. I do NOT consider that to be a career. When I’m able to make enough money to live off of as a result of my involvement in the entertainment industry, THEN I may consider it.

his response was “You have become very well known in Hollywood, and pretty much everybody knows who you are,
That’s for sure! “Avoid Arthur Kade at all costs! Your reputation as an actor will be forever tarnished if you so much as have yourself photographed with him! Stay in your homes! Nothing to see here!”

The Brand’s response was, “The Gen Pop all knows that I am going to make millions and be a “”Mega-Star”", but that was never what “”The Journey”" was about. It was just a by-product of me just being a super inspiring and amazing controversial talent, but now I am wondering whether that is backfiring on me, and I will end up being a Multi Media Sensation like Ryan Seacrest, Kathy Griffin, or Chelsea Handler rather than Danny Day Lewis? What can I do to make the winning of “”Lil’ Oscar”" happen faster, and let Hollywood know that I want to be the best that has ever done The Craft”
Opening your mouth and spewing your shit is how this is backfiring on you. Also, winning an Oscar is not the top of the acting world; there are actors out there who have won that little trophy and have not done anything nearly as good since that time. Acting is about WAY, WAY more than shooting for a golden paperweight, but I doubt you’ll ever realize that. Those with stars in their eyes are too blind to see who's leading them (usually down the wrong path).

You are already considered a “”Genius”" for creating the level of exposure you have for yourself
That statement I will agree with because I can’t think of anyone else offhand who has created such a huge amount of hate simply by being themselves (feel free to call me out on this in the comments section).

I have already had my first speaking role aired on Showtime’s Hit Show “LALA Land” where I was featured and made a “Celeb Cameo”
That’s what you’re calling it? I see it more as a “Moment of PWN,” but hey, it’s your world.
You know, Kade, I've heard that Fred Vogel is thinking about doing another "August Underground" movie. You should try and get in on it! I have great faith that you'll DEFINITELY score a speaking role! It's a shame that you were too busy in the financial world to be part of "August Underground's Mordum" because I think you would have been PERFECT for the role of "Guy in coffin who cuts his dick off with a pair of scissors." Now THAT would have been BALLS ASS HOT.

there were so many smokin’ Hot NYC 9’s and 10’s who were all staring at The Brand, his new beard, and fashion forward look that he was sporting ((One of the Entourage nicknamed it “Homeless Couture”" because he said I look Homeless)
They were staring at you because they couldn’t figure out how a homeless guy got into such an “exclusive” event. Either that or they had pinpointed where the "Eau de garbage dump" scent was coming from.

“I look at myself like a modern day Al Einstein or Socrates, because during their heydays, the Gen Pop thought they were weird, crazy, and misunderstood, but now they are considered to be some of the greatest talents in history. I guess sometimes I have to be reminded that what I am doing and the trail I am blazing is uncharted territory, but the ultimate goal is still the same. I really am the first of my kind and will be the first to create a bridge to the Unscripted and Scripted worlds because I am a respected enough personality to do it”
Besides being 'featured' in "Bill and Ted's excellent adventure," Socrates came up with (what was to be later named) the Socratic method, and Mr. Einstein came up with (among many other things) the special and general theories of relativity. You, on the other hand, have an infinite amount of slobber, a never-ending supply of acne and the ability to creep out hairy 50-year-old, one-legged, drooling, mumbling pedophiles. God bless you sir, for you are a toilet paper enigma.

“If Arthur Kade was a gutter, he would drain brilliance”…Arthur Kade…04/02/10
Good lord.

Need I remind you people that International ‘Abandon Kade’ Week starts tomorrow? I might do a few posts next week (but might not, since I said “a weekly abandonment of Kade's blog should also include not visiting the LWK blog as well”) of the comments I’ve collected so far from the beginning of Duh Gurney. They will be divided into three sections: best/funniest comments (from my perspective), people who doubt Kade is real and people who don’t doubt Kade is real.

Thoughts? Questions? Hate?

P.S. Check out Radda's/Hypnogogial's post on Kade at http://raincool.blogspot.com/2010/03/are-you-ace-rimmer-or-arthur-kade.html
Also, for you technical death metal fans:

I know the album this song came from (Calculated) is six years old; that's how far behind the times I am. Nevertheless, I think it's great music and the band should receive more publicity because of it.

2010-03-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Before the main event, I must catch up on the posts that I deliberately skipped over in the past two weeks...

Regarding Kade's “Dry Run” Of “Dan From Closer” For Advanced Theater Class blog post:

I didn't think much of the "acting" that Kade was doing, but then again, acting IS tough and there's a lot to remember while listening and reacting truthfully to your scene partner. However, I'm not defending him. Had Kade spent less time in clubs and more time practicing The Craft, we might have seen a bit of improvement; as it stands, though, he has not made much in the way of progress...perhaps he has gone the direct opposite of progress and actually gotten WORSE (if such a thing is possible).
Bottom line: Don't watch the videos; it will be a waste of 9 minutes and 42 seconds.

The Philadelphia Magazine Writes Up What The Brand Will Be Doing For St. Patrick’s Day post:

“They could have identified me as “”Actor”", “”Celebrity”", or even “”Author”", but they chose “”Legend”" because Victor Fiorillo is messing with your head, just like Gawker does. They know you'll latch on to any attention given to you, so they're throwing you bits of chum (bait) to see how you'll react. Here's Kade's response to Victor's question (from http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2010/03/17/jack-kelly-will-be-at-plough-stars-then-tir-na-nog-then-maces-crossing-then-finnegans-wake-then/):

“I’ll be partying, I am sure. Not anywhere in particular. But safe to say I’ll be in Rittenhouse Square drinking a Stoli-O club with a splash of pineapple.”

Unsurprisingly, there were quite a few comments regarding either how gay Kade was or how gay the drink was. All I could do was a combination facepalm-headshake and move on.

The Pimp My Tee (Audition For “You Can’t Have It All”) post:

The Brand is designing a special Balls Ass Hot Shirt for his much publicized and history making TV Interview with Kerri-Anne Kennerley and it's surprising that you didn't ask her, while on the show, "Hey Kerri, uh, what do you think of, uh, my Balls Ass Hot Shirt I-I-I got printed up for this interview? My man Jabeer helped me out with it. It's total Kadestralia domination, right?" Yeah, Jabeer is your man just like Blue from Cosi's was your man, right? Fuck you.

The Kade Angeles TakeOver Begins post:

(I ended up with a Philly 9.85 in my room sleeping over who left me alone with a bottle of champagne and massive hangover in the morning to celebrate the triumphant return of Industry )
It's strange that she would leave you, THE BRAND, alone in a room. One might think that she'd be attracted to your "Mogul in the making" status, but like every other piece of shitspittle, we know to avoid anything that comes out of that Venus Kadetrap of yours. But hark! The reason for calling Los Angeles "Kade Angeles" has been revealed:

“Next Week you are going to see a person take over that town like no other celebrity ever has and between all of the Major TV Network Meetings fighting over my show, the Live TV Interviews with “Oprahs” on other continents, being escorted with KA 10’s into the hottest clubs in KA, Meetings with “Mega Bizzers”, and exclusive Balls Ass “Invite Only Parties” that only celebs and athletes are privy to at the W Hotel, Arthur Kade may not only own KA, I may rename the state “Kadeifornia”.
Yep, you're fucked in the head, THAT'S why people want to meet you (and wonder if you're real or not). Give us an update on how that "open call" for "Dark fields" went, alright, asshole?

The Gen Popper Kade Nation Fan who approached The Brand at Dusk and said, “You’re Arthur. Can I take a picture?”, and I responded, “On my camera. Just take it off blog”. She was a Philly 4.88 and I was about to ask her to step out of my personal celebrity space because she shouldn’t have been within 10 feet of me, but once I found out she was a HUGE fan, I wanted her first in-person memory of Arthur Kade to be of compassion and gentleness.

BULLSHIT. On your "Kade Scale" page, it specifies:

6 and under-Don’t bother
Not worth listing or discussing. Not even friend or date worthy.

You're so desperate for attention that you're willing to be photographed with someone who rates under a 6?

It’s crazy that with how hip I am as an up and coming actor and author, sometimes The Brand is a bit out of touch with the Gen Pop culture.

That's for DAMN sure.

The "Ochocinco" blog post:

Gawker, once again, fucks with Kade (who has become so fame-crazy that he describes the website as "one of the most influential and respected tabloid reporting sites in the world"):

http://gawker.com/5501378/arthur-kadestralia-gets-complimentary-car-ride

Ann Onymous left a comment awhile back...something about having to get past Kade in order to get into some event or hotel (The W, maybe). Oh Ann, where art thou?
The rest of the post is truly "Kade Style"...by that, I mean that it's filled with lies (or delusions, as an anonymous commenter wanted me to refer to them as), a ridiculous quote, embarrassing videos and space-wasting pictures Kade will no doubt attempt to use as proof in the future when telling someone that he has partied with all the hottest celebrities, been in all the coolest clubs, has many fans, and is wanted by the hottest, youngest women. I can only imagine how many other people (Gen Pop, as Kade might call them) have similar photos on their blogs or in their photo albums. So, having said that, WHAT exactly makes Kade stand out amongst them? His hat and his Easter Island-style nose.

Finally, He Came, He Saw, He “Kade Styled”:

Should have been a quote from "Ernest saves Christmas": "I came...I saw...I got blowed up." A terrorist dashes into the club, strapped with explosives around their waist, lets out a banshee scream (like the masked bitches from the Postal 2 video game) and hits the button. BOOM. It would almost be a post worth copying out in full...almost.

“It’s funny because I am the face of a the city of Philadelphia, and even corners at Cafe’ shops in Rittenhouse are named after me”
You named a corner at Cosi's after yourself over a year ago and now it has somehow morphed into multiple cafes with multiple corners named after you? The Exaggeration Excitement never stops!

I think about the distance that ‘The Journey” has travelled in 1.05661 years
That would be 385.6 days, or March 4th, 2010 (assuming "Duh Gurney" started on February 12th, 2009...I can't even be bothered to check that). I facepalm at your existence in general. If you want to be specific, Kade (and you should, since you want people to look up to you), then you should be saying "I think about the distance that "The Journey" has travelled in 1.12328767123287671232877 years" (February 12th, 2009 to March 29th, 2010).

For those who think that I hang on to Kade's every word (and am such a big "Fan" because of it), you're completely wrong. There were many people out there who criticized the Bush administration since day 1, pointing out errors and disproving claims in press releases and news stories...does that mean those people were "Fans" of the Bush administration? I hardly fucking think so!

one “Mega-Bizzer” who came to one of my network meetings saying to one of the network execs when she asked him, “Why are you here?”, he responded, “Really…I just wanted to meet this guy”
figure out what network The Brand is going to land on, and shape the “New Face Of Television” (This is what another “Mega-Bizzer” said they believed I was going to be
Who are these "Mega-Bizzer" people, exactly? You're not afraid to name-drop now, are you?

Brittany Gastinaeu (I had no idea who she was until it was explained she is the daughter of a football player, and had her own reality show where she bombed trying to make it in Hollywood, and I said “Of course she bombed! She is a disastrous KA 5.85 with a HUGE ASS who is wearing Levi’s, I think, that make her body look even worse. Who’s gonna hire her to act in a movie”.
Someone's going to remember that you typed that. Don't say you weren't warned.

I am a big enough name now that I could really enjoy KA now and build my Brand even further there, but it’s being recommended that I remain here right now by my “Reps” (This is the term we “Crafter” use to refer to our Agents) for the time being.
In other words, you're too poor and you didn't make the connections you hoped you would. Did you stay with Kent Osborne? How come he wasn't featured in your latest KA disaster...I mean, trip?

Everyone in Philly was amazed that I got right off the plane at midnight on Friday, and went straight from the Kadeport to Ladder 15 and then Recess
Yeah, sure, EVERYONE in Philly: the cab drivers, the janitors in the office buildings, the maintenance workers, the families living in the suburbs, the cops, the cashiers at the convenience stores, the politicians, the prostitutes, the homegrown terror cells, the FBI, the university students, the hotel managers, the truck drivers passing through, the shelf stockers in the grocery stores...yeah, EVERYONE. I'm sure phone calls were being made the minute you left the airport. (By the way, to the natives of Philadelphia: does public transit run from the airport into the city? If so, then I have a pretty good idea of how he gets from one place to another...not counting his Nontourage, because apparently they're embarrassed to be seen with him now.)

when one group of Fans were gawking and pointing at me at Ladder
They know who you are, and they were FUCKING WITH YOU (meaning that they were pretending that they were fans and pretending even harder to be amazed that they had seen the oh-so-famous Arthur Kade). By the way, how come this "group of Fans" aren't featured in any of the pictures in this latest blog turd?

the following night I had 3 girls in play at the end of the night, and it all fell apart with each one either going home, or telling me they wanted to grab drinks this week.
More girls you couldn't close the deal with? The corpse of Sinatra could get more than you, hell, I myself could get more than you, and I'm a 30-year-old retarded, pale, fat, greasy, stinky, hideous, envious, worthless, neck-bearded, basement-dwelling, Hot Pocket-eating jealous Gen Pop loser virgin with genital warts, a boring job, no life and no friends.

Finally, a video worth watching...

Until next time, Wiggers...
Also, don't forget that International 'Abandon Kade' Week starts this Sunday, April 4th, and runs through until Sunday, April 11th. I won't push the date to the middle of April for reasons I stated in the comments section of the last post.

International 'Abandon Kade Week'

2010-03-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

(Anonymous on March 25th, 2010 at 3:42 PM posted the following in the comments section of my last post, and I think it's a good idea. Hell, I'm willing to try it simply to see what happens...)

This event will take place from Sunday the 4th of April right through to Sunday the 11th of April.

It will be a week without you seeking further information on Arthur Kade, and as a result, bring his website and his dubious push for fame to a grinding halt.
Enough already of reality stars with no talent.

IF YOU DO THIS HE WILL FADE INTO OBSCURITY. WITHOUT THIS WEBSITE HE HAS NOTHING.

Spread the word.

International Abandon Kade Week. 4th April - 11th April.

(Remember, Anonymous, that just because I myself won't go there doesn't mean the other haters are going to join me. Nonetheless, I will oblige you this time.)

A reminder.

2010-03-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

Since Kade is still in L.A., here are some words from the wise...

To Wee Willie:
Nothing really noteworthy is happening in the comments section of AK's site at the moment, although I think I recall reading that Twitter Theater might be brought back (which would be kickass).
I've been thinking about doing a few "Best of the Kade comments" posts, but that would take quite a bit of time and effort (not to mention space). I think, if there was a demand for it, I would do it. On that note, I've also been thinking of doing separate posts regarding those who think Kade is fake versus those who believe Kade to be real (which means more comment re-posting). Again, if the demand is there...

To Anonymous on March 24th, 2010 at 3:38 PM:
I do believe that Kade is sane and that he believes himself to be oh-so-great (and chooses to portray himself as such), although I'm aware of the NPD angle (and it's an interesting one). If it is proved beyond a doubt that Kade has NPD, and that NPD is a mental illness (currently, the DSM does not believe it to be), then what we're doing is no better than making fun of someone who has Tourette syndrome or is autistic. If Kadyshes is behaving the way he is because of a malfunction of the brain or because his brain is lacking certain chemicals to properly function, then yes, we should stop needling him...but, as far as I've been able to tell, he functions perfectly well: he can listen, communicate, react to the environment around him, he had a job that required at least SOME mental skills, etc.
I view Kade in the same light as those fools on "The Jersey shore": regular people who think that they themselves are extraordinary, and they will all be made fun of for thinking that way. The real fault would lie with his friends and family, for if they knew he had a mental illness but let him loose on the world anyway (without major supervision), they would be putting him at risk, since no one besides them knew about his condition.
Could it be that Kadyshes has a mental condition that is slowly taking over his brain as he ages? Perhaps we are witnessing some kind of NPD case that mimics dementia; there have been people in the past who have commented on his site that he wasn't this grandiose in his behaviour when they knew him years ago. But again, I don't believe he has NPD (although I'm certainly open to the idea); if he did, then the continuance of this blog would depend on whether or not NPD is a serious mental illness or simply a personality disorder.
In addition, could his apparent cocaine habit be the underlying reason for his behaviour, or simply an addition to it? (I say "apparent" because hearsay is not equivalent to fact.) Some serious psychological and physiological tests would have to be carried out on Arthur to determine whether or not any of this is true. There are a great many factors that one must take into account when attempting to classify one's state of mind: environments, friends, foods, genetics, beliefs, etc.
Since Arthur and/or his friends check in on this blog from time to time, perhaps they can chime in with their own thoughts. I'm not saying that all those who leave insulting messages on the LegoWig Blogspot are Kade's friends (I understand that there are spectators out there who may hate the haters, hate everyone equally, hate because they think we're attacking a mentally retarded man, or hate because they want to see someone follow their dreams without detractors), but I believe they lurk here from time to time, and their point of view would be welcome at this point.

To EG:
Your comments still make me laugh and shake my head simultaneously. What are your views on this subject?

Kennerley vs. Kade 2: the video.

2010-03-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.kerri-anne.com.au/index.php

It's on the main page as "latest video," so if you're reading this a week from March 23rd, you might not see the uncomfortable (at least for me) interview Kerri-Anne Kennerley did with Resident nutbrain Arthur Kade.

It's my job as a Legowigger to document Kade's lies, so a transcript of the video follows (lies in blue):

Kerri-Anne (KA): His name is Arthur Kade. He says that he can get any woman whenever he wants. In fact, he even has a special ranking dubbed "The Kade Scale." Well, even Hollywood stunner Scarlett Johansson is a 10. Arthur Kade joins us from Los Angeles. Good morning and welcome to the show, Arthur!

Arthur Kade (AK): Hello Kadestralia! G'day mate!

KA: Ah, convincing accent. Um, what do you have that other blokes don't?

AK: Well, I have a lot, I mean I have an amazing personality, I'm a former model, extremely good-looking, extremely successful, I've always been successful and I'm on something called "The Journey" which I document on my blog, ArthurKade.com, where I talk about how I was a financial advisor for years, sold my company to become a full-time actor and author, and am now in the process of potentially getting my own TV show. I'm actually here in Los Angeles meeting with TV networks who all wanna meet me, and I'm also in the process of authoring a book, but uh, I've just got that "it" quality that has made me successful, I was number one in my old company and I just kill it Kade style in, in life.

KA: Wow, I'm just absolutely gobsmacked.

AK: That's, uh, that's, that's the reaction I usually get.

KA: Yeah, yeah I guess you hear that a lot.

AK: I do, I do. I actually just finished my first meeting of the day and the reaction was uh, pretty good.

KA: Amazing. Now, who have you in fact dated? What, what, what's your hit rate?

AK: My hit rate, I love it. You just made me sound like Joe Dimaggio, famous baseball player here. Um, I've pretty much been with everything you can imagine: models, supermodels, CEOs, I've slept with several professional athletes...I've pretty much done it all over here and um, my hit rate's been pretty good. Of course, like any other human being, y'know, sometimes you do strike out and one of the dilemmas that I deal with as a celebrity at this point, is there are women that look at me just for my fame, they look at me for, um, just the money that I'm going to make and it becomes very difficult being a celebrity and rising actor in Hollywood to avoid that pitfall, so I actually went and I documented it on the blog through something called "The Drought" where I actually didn't have sex for eleven and a half months.

KA: Wow. That superficiality must be very disappointing for you.

AK: Well, I, I, y'know, unfortunately, I, I only want to date the best of the best because that's what I'm used to...

KA: Well let's get to the best of the best, I want to look at your Kade Scale. Let's have a look at the Kade Scale. I mentioned Scarlett Johansson's not even in your top ten.

AK: No, she's not and I, y'know, as I break down the Kade Scale for anyone looking at ArthurKade.com after this or during this, you'll see why I break down. I have different looks for different, uh, ratings: ten, nine, eight...And I rate why certain people are better looking than others.

KA: Okay, um, uh, expand on, on who else would you not date, that, that we think are pretty fabulous.

AK: Well, if you look at some of the sevens, and I, and you have to keep in mind, just having had the adventures that I've had as Arthur Kade, um, I've seen a lot of these people or have been next to them in real life, so, for instance, Cameron Diaz I have as a seven: she has horrible skin, ultra skinny, very lanky-looking. She kind of looks a little bit like an alien in real life, very tom-boyish, not a lot of sexuality that comes off. Another example is J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez, who I rate as a seven, who I've also seen, y'know, I've been very close to in Miami and New York, and, um, shorter, a little too voluptuous, her butt's way too big, um, and not really as pretty as you would imagine. But then, of course, there are some girls that are just drop dead gorgeous, I was just hanging out with Victoria's secret model Selita Ebanks, Nick Cannon's ex-girlfriend and I gave her a Kade Angeles ten. I also rate by cities; certain cities are better looking than others. But Selita Ebanks got a ten, she's flawless. Gisele, I've met...

KA: Well she just must be all over you.

AK: Well, Selita and I talked for a little bit but I think she might be seeing somebody, but I've met Gisele, I've met Demi Moore in Philadelphia, I mean, young Demi Moore I gave a ten...

KA: How did, how do you rate Gisele? We were just looking at Gisele...

AK: Gisele's a ten. Gi-Gisele is actually the most impressive girl that you can ever imagine. She's probably about five eleven, six foot tall, I'm six two, so...She had small heels, we stood face to face, she's just extraordinary looking, perfect skin, incredible body, great boobs, perfect butt, I mean she is just absolutely gorgeous.

KA: Now, I've got a couple emails from Australian women. Carly from Melbourne says, uh, they sort of checked you out, Arthur. Uh, sorry but attraction is more than just skin deep. He may think he is good looking, however, a man who brags about his ability to have a woman is a huge turn-off to po...uh, female population. What would you say to Carly?

AK: Well, and you're gonna have, uh, uh, y'know, one of the, the keys to my success is I'm probably one of the more controversial and polarizing people in the world, hence why my bi, my blog and The Journey's being followed by millions, and it's because I do put it out there, I'm confident, I live with bravado but I also acknowledge my failures, so, y'know, when I meet girls, especially hot girls, they're all going to have a different reaction from me and with me, but usually the end reaction is that, "Wow, he's hot, he's super cool, he's a ton of fun," which I wrote about on the blog, when a girl calls you fun, that can actually be derogatory because they look at you as a sexual toy instead of dating...

KA: Maybe you could clear this up. Donna Gardner from Adelaide said, "I think he's deluded, he needs to look in the mirror, uh, maybe he's too busy shaving under his arms." Do you shave under your arms?

AK: I do, I shave everywhere. I am actually a huge fan of grooming. I don't like hair both on women and men.

KA: Well, come one, give all the women who just need a chance. What can they do to impress you, Arthur?

AK: Well, first and foremost, y'know, some girls, no matter what they do, are just not gonna be able to hang in my company. But then there are others who, if they are, let's say a nine or ten, there has to be an aura of sexuality, of personality. They just, y'know, some girls can actually move up the Kade Scale because they exude sexuality...

KA: Oh, do tell. Another hint. We're hangin' here. Just give us another hint how we can move up that Kade Scale.

AK: Moving up the Kade Scale: dressing hot, what I call "Stripper hotness," and just giving off the "I wanna sleep with you" attitude.

KA: Ah, okay, now we've got it. Well, women of Australia are feeling much better for this, this morning. Arthur, I just can't explain what an experience this has been and I just want to say good morning.

AK: Thank you KAK, it's been a pleasure. Kade out!

KA: Some people can say KAK and some people can't.

WOW. What a crock of SHIT. I am so stunned by this mongrel of a human being that I've got absolutely no good insults to end this post with (not that I ever did...perhaps Zombie Kade Will Destroy You should do a guest post). It's a shame that Kerri-Anne didn't call you out on any of your bullshit. She seemed to play the "I'll pump up his ego in a slightly condescending way in order to make him say something even more offensive" game, like others in the past have. WHY, in the name of the GOOD LORD, can't ANYONE who has access to the mainstream, call this guy out on his bullshit IN PUBLIC? It's not as if they have standards! They're in showbusiness, for fuck's sake! Do any Australians know what Kerri-Anne thinks of Kade? Any links to video/audio of her giving her thoughts on that human shitpile?

If you're reading this, Arthur: even though I am a hater, I am NOT jealous of you; quite the opposite, as a matter of fact! I would rather remain a nobody than be known to a few hundred people around the world as an egomaniacal douchebag destined to be hated for the remainder of the lives of the people that have read your blog or seen/heard any of the interviews you've done over the past year. It has been said that people hate you because they envy you. Not true. They hate you because YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. There has also been talk that those who hate you are making you famous. That, also, is a bunch of bullshit; your comments have been dwindling as of late. One might assume that there are approximately thirty people out there who visit your blog simply to hate, laugh and have fun at your expense...and you somehow twist their morbid fascination of your (maybe) upcoming failure as being "fans" of "Duh Gurney."

Yes, you're confident, you live with a sense of bravado, you put it all out there...these things are true. I think it's because the mental censor (the rest of us developed while growing up) in your head was either flushed out a long time ago, or you never had one in the first place. Yes, it's better to be yourself and tell the truth, but what you're doing will ultimately destroy you. If your idea of taking over Los Angeles (or Hollywood, for that matter) is to be yourself in an area (supposedly) full of fake people, then you have had too many FailKrispies for breakfast. Some people are out of sync with the world because they haven't discovered who they are yet, while you are out of sync with the world because of who you are (or, more likely, have become).

(For the rest of you, I haven't commented on his last three posts because I've been busy, but I will get to them in time...Wig 'Th'tyle.)

On a slightly unrelated note, could this be the future for Kade?

Toronto letter-bomber says he was getting revenge

http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2503577

An aspiring actor-model testified Monday that he only meant to scare -- not kill -- a host of intended targets such as his lawyer, a judge and two modelling agency owners by sending letter bombs and spiked water bottles.

Testifying in his own defence, Adel Arnaout, 39, said he also wanted revenge against the Toronto Police.

"I wanted to waste their time and money the way they wasted mine," said Arnaout, adding the officers never investigated his myriad complaints against people he believed had ripped him off.

Kennerley vs. Kade

2010-03-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

Recently I cut & pasted a comment from Kade’s site asking if there was a Kade drinking game. Well, after looking in “the archives”, I found it…
From the March 9th, 2009 blog post entitled "Rick Ross, Small Dogs, and The Red Ball":

Matt on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:18 pm
The Arthur Kade Drinking Game:
Every time you see the word “amazing” or “genuine” you have to do a lemon drop shot.
Every time you see the word “journey” you have to drink a Cosmo.
Every time Arthur drops a name of some “celebrity” you have to drink an Appletini and shriek like a woman.
Every time a brand new idiotic nickname is added to the lexicon, you hit yourself in the head with a mallet so you can see what it’s like to be Arthur Kade for a few moments right after the concussion.
One other thing, Dipshit - you have so many stupid categories for your posts, yet they are all the same thing. “Clubs and Lounges” is the same as “Nightlife”. Every stupid story you tell has you stopping at some club or restaurant you think is a big deal. You could save yourself some typing and lump them all under “Nightlife” you moron.
Then again, it would make you looks shallow and one dimensional. Better to have lots of categories for your blogs to give the appearance of a full life.
There is a book I think you would love….it too, is about a lisping man coming to terms with his love of cockmeat. It’s called “Me Talk Pretty One Day” and it is a well-written comedy. Unlike your blog….which is a poorly written tragicomedy.
Arthurs Thoughts should be renamed “Insecurities of a Philly Fag”

Also, did someone predict the future or what?

From the March 9th, 2009 blog post entitled "Rick Ross, Small Dogs, and The Red Ball"

Jumped the Shark already? on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:48 pm
Could your life possibly be any more dull? You spend all of your time either dick riding celebs, at brunch with your reject posse, or at d list events taking pictures with wannabe high society skanks. I’ll admit it, I was checking your blog daily hoping for some quick laughs at your expense, but after a whopping 3 or 4 posts, it is obvious that you are a complete zero and bring absolutely nothing to the table. Once people run out of new ways to call you a douchebag, nobody will bother reading your unispired, mindless drivel. I would guess you are at the 13 minute mark of your 15 minutes of fame. Hope you enjoyed it. You gave up a 25 hour a week job making 6 figures for this? To make up dating stories and brag about hanging out with Rick Ross’ hangers on? (there is no doubt in my mind that they laughed at you all day, much like whoever reads this blog.) As someone pointed out above, Ross is a complete fraud, much like yourself, so I guess you guys have that in common.
So far, the only thing worthwhile and even remotely funny about this blog has been the comments. The true joke won’t happen for at least a few years, but when it does it will be a doozy. I can picture it now…a weathered, older, fatter, brokeass Arthur, with one tear roling down his cheek, finally realizing that while most people his age were actually enjoying the meaningful things in life: career, starting a family, marriage, etc., he decided too late to chase his Peter Pan dreams, made it absolutely nowhere, and all he has to show for it was some background work on Gossip Girl and memories of having a table next to Jamie Foxx at G lounge. So sad, yet so hilarious.

Random fact:

Lregion’s first comment was posted on Kade’s "Truth Slap" blog post (with no exclamation point)!

Lregion on 21 Mar 2009 at 4:59 am
Great stuff.

Criticism of the March 14th, 2010 blog post entitled “Arthur Kade To Do Television Interview With Kerri-Anne Kennerley (”The Queen Of Australian Television” And Host Of “Kerri-Anne”)”:

As if meeting with major TV networks on who will be carrying Arthur Kade’s amazing new Number 1 Hit TV Show is not enough while in Kade Angeles…
Actually, that IS enough. MORE than enough. WAY, WAY more than enough. Your existence is more than enough, as a matter of fact!

…he will now be doing a live TV Interview with Australia’s version of Oprah Winfrey on March 24th…
Kind of like The Kyle and Jackie-O show in Sydney, Australia is the “#1 Most Popular Morning Radio Show In Kydney, Kadestralia” and The Matt And Jo Show on FOX Radio is both the “Number 1 listened too show on the continent” and “one of the most popular stations on the Gold Coast”, right? Why are you doing the old ‘pump them up because they’re interviewing me, Arthur Kade’ shtick again? I really REALLY hope Kerri-Anne has done her homework and verbally tears the SHIT out of you on that live interview, the way Fox News’ Julie Banderas ripped into Shirley Phelps-Roper in an interview.

…talking to The Brand about how he has become an “International Media Phenomenon”…
Being hated on the internet by people who visit your blog and leave nasty comments during their lunch breaks does NOT make you an “International Media Phenomenon.” Oh sure, you’ve been interviewed on radio shows, but so have plumbers and people whose second (or third) language is English. You’re an “International Media Douchernaut” because some people simply cannot BELIEVE your ‘level’ of arrogance. Doesn’t make you special.

…his progress with “The Journey” in just 1.02334 years in “The Biz”…
If we take February 12th, 2009 to be the first day of “Duh Gurney”, and we know that there were 365 days in 2009 (http://www.convertunits.com/dates/from/Jan+1,+2009/to/Jan+1,+2010), then you have been trailing off the beaten path for 396 days (February 12, 2009 – March 14, 2010). 1.02334 x 365 = 373.5191 (February 20, 2010). Therefore, your calculations (with their ridiculous 4-and-5 number decimal places) are just that: ridiculous…same with your face.
Also, in your last blog post (from March 11th, 2010), you said, “in just 1.1134 years of “The Journey”, Arthur Kade will be sitting in front of the people who shape and mold our television watching lives…” 1.1134 is more than 1.02334, moron. This is definitely a sign amongst signs that no one should ever pay attention to any of your silly bullshit, nor take you seriously, ever fucking again.

…the tremendous impact his Brand is having on the worldwide world of entertainment and Film/TV…
Yes, the amount of people facepalming and shaking their heads at the mere thought of your name is in the thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) by now. Congratulations! You are an embarrassing joke that people want to forget using electroshock treatment!

(I’m sure she will discuss my Emmy deserving Appearance on Showtime’s Hit, LA LA Land and Hit TV Show and NY Times Bestseller)
I’m sure she will too…with a grin that will be harder and harder to conceal the longer you two discuss your “Emmy deserving Appearance.” I myself can’t keep a straight face while reading that sentence! Emmy deserving? Have you discovered crack cocaine yet or WHAT? And your “NY Times Bestseller” hasn’t even been written yet! Editing for grammar ALONE will take the better part of a year! You are high and dry in the boat race of life, my friend!

The interview will take place in The Nine Network’s Satellite studio in KA, and will be transmitted by satellite to millions of Gen Poppers in Kadestralia who will see their conquering hero in the flesh…
Men who own TV/flatscreen stores and people who repair TVs and flatscreens will be jumping for joy on that day because of the amount of Gen Poppers who will destroy their talkboxes after listening to five minutes of your tripe. Your douchiness improves the economy, jackass! Aren’t you proud? I bet your mom is…and I was proud of her LAST NIGHT. OOOOOOooooooooo.

…and understand the charisma, charm, and wit that will make Arthur Kade the biggest star in “The Biz”, and award winning actor and author for years to come.
Look, I’ll be honest with ya: I’ve been following you since early May of 2009 and not even I understand your apparent “charisma, charm, and wit.” Besides Matt Beauchamp, I don’t know who else has been following your stupid Journey to Doom for this long (I’m not even sure if Beauchamp is still on board, either)! GOD, what I wouldn’t give to be retired right now….

This will alos be The Brand’s first TV Interview with a fellow M.I.M. (Mogul In The Making), and will be great practice for me for when I am interviewed in Kademerica by Oprah, Dave, Jay, and Conan for decades to come.

Kerri-Anne is “Australia’s TV Queen” and has been hosting talk shows for Channel 9 in Kadestralia for almost 40 years.
You spelled the word “also” wrong, genius. And how in the hell is Kerri-Anne a “Mogul In The Making” when she’s been hosting talk shows for FORTY YEARS? She is FAR from “In The Making”…she IS a Mogul (at least when compared to you), mother fucker! You’re wrong, by the way; she’s been on Australian TV since 1967 but hasn’t been HOSTING since 1967. My GOD, do you do ANY research AT ALL? She has done quite a bit in Australia, so she (MUCH MORE THAN YOU) should be integrating her last name with the name of the country that you’ve never been to yet say you’ve “dominated.” But I think she’s a way better person than to pull a stunt like that. You, however…

…and now she will have an opportunity to interview one of Hollywood’s brightest rising stars, and most controversial, polarizing, and successful Comets, Arthur Kade.
Riiiiiight. I’m sure she’s gotten her panties all in a bunch over you, Kadeknocker. I hope you rate her during that interview, I really do. You have no idea how invigorating the THOUGHT of EVERY SINGLE PERSON WATCHING THAT SHOW AND INSTANTLY HATING YOU is.
If you would like to contact Kerri-Anne and help prepare her for the train wreck that is Arthur Kade, go to http://www.kerri-anne.com.au/contact_me.php and fill in the contact form. This is our chance to warn the host of a show about Kade’s lies, and perhaps prepare her enough for the onslaught of stupid that she will be able to counter his bullshit and expose him for the pathological liar and celebrity wannabe that we know he is.

Top Moments From an absolutely ridic weekend on all fronts. The weather channel called for a 100% chance of “Kade Style”, and The Brand delivered a “Category 6″ like only he could:
And like disastrous weather, your presence and “Style” left people sobbing, hopeless, desperate, and lusting for suicide as the only logical option out of such a sick, Kade-infested world. My God. You know, if I could get the permission of every single person who has left a kickass insult on your site, I would write a book called “Kadeisms” that would be filled with nothing but hatred for you. If it got to the top 10 of the New York Times Bestseller list (or, even better, won a Pew-litzer…I spelled it the way you pronounced it, jackass), I would mail a copy to you after I pissed on it, because that’s how I roll, LEGO ‘TH’TYLE.

Meeting fellow Crafter, and Celebrity, Matt McConaughey at 1Oak in NYC on Thursday…
Yet you didn’t get any pictures with him. As they say on 4chan, “PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.”

Matt couldn’t have been more down to Earth upon meeting me…
Like most people, he was probably being nice to you simply because he thought you were mentally retarded. Can’t you just hear ol’ McConaughey, in his relaxed Texan drawl, say to someone (after you bounce away), “Who the hell was that fuckin’ douchebag?” I can!

I met him while talking to an NYC 9.8 Brazilian Model from the top agency in the world, NEXT Models, who could barely speak English, but was so turned on by me telling her “I am a Celebrity and have a TV Show and Book I am working on”…
Why would you lie to someone who can barely speak English, let alone your own personal language of Kadelingo? Why would you want to torture and confuse a poor girl like that? Don’t you have any respect? You probably soaked her face in your spittle though. I’m sure that was a welcome custom that she’s used to, coming from Brazil and all. Isn’t Brazil where most of the curvy-bootied women come from? Was she originally a 10 before you saw that rump, Kade? I remember you rating a woman who was an extra on 30 Rock and you docked her points because of dat ASS, son! What a fool you are…

I started talking to another model I that I thought would be great to partner up for a “Kade Style” threesome…
Awww, but it didn’t happen because of your grandiosity, acne, smell and spittle. Poor guy. Better luck next time though, hey? Don’t feel bad, Arturrrrrrr, you can still jerk it with both hands (one at a time, of course) and PRETEND she’s part of your “thhhhreethome”!

…having the chance to spend 15-20 minutes discussing “The Journey” with him, getting tremendous career advice when talking about the release of The Brand’s hit TV Show, what it will take for me to win Lil’ Oscar…
Short of taking people hostage and exchanging them for an Oscar, I think it’s going to take more than you’ll ever have (even with help) to “win Lil’ Oscar.” Being the nice guy that Mr. McConaughey is, he probably gave you a few words of encouragement and then took a 14-19 minute call from his cellphone.

…and just doing what we celebs do when at a club, kickin’ it “Kade Style”.
Oh God. You didn’t do a “Kween” impression for him, did you? Oh please NO, Arthur! What did he ever do to you?

…it’s funny that when other celebs meet me they are usually in awe of The Brand, but he felt so comfortable and relaxed that I feel like we we could have been on a Ranch in Texas just smoking weed playing the congos together…
Playing the WHAT together? I didn’t know you were into reggae, Kade! But why didn’t you capitalize their name? They Are “The Congos,” y’know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Congos
Were you, perhaps, referring to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Africa (formerly known as Zaire)? Are you and McConaughey going to tour over there together as two actors from the U.S. giving good ol’ American acting advice? Now THAT could be “Balls Ass Hot!”
Maybe you misspelled Cognos, a former Canadian software company swallowed up by IBM. Are you two going to make crank calls as Cognos agents to major TV studios in Hollywood? Please, PLEASE…if you two end up making those calls, PLEASE record the one you make to Kent Osborne. PLEASE! Post it on Snapvine as quickly as possible! Remember that Snapvine shuts down at the end of the month, so we all want an awesome voicemail to remember it by, okay?
Surely you couldn’t have been referring to the hot French model Carole Congos? Is she going to be in the threesome with the Brazilian 9.8? Or is it going to be a Kade-McConaughey tagteam?
Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt: you were trying to spell congas. I understand. You still get half a gold star for trying! Good thing you weren’t going for bongos, because OH MAN, what a FUCKING IDIOT you would have been for misspelling that one! I mean, looking at the keyboard, the letter “V” separates the “B” and “C” keys, and we all know that you’re such a superstar that you would NEVER, EVER misspell…

He told me, “The business isn’t easy”, and “You will have to scratch and claw for everything you get”...
That’s for sure. You should start by scratching and clawing Richard Simmons on national TV, because I’m sure he’ll do the same at the first sight of YOUR HUGE FUCKING NOSE.

I think the mutual respect that occurred between 2 successful actors like ourselves couldn’t have been more evident to The Gen Pop.
But you’re not a successful actor, Kade! You’re a Gen Pop extra just like the rest of them! Appearing on La La Land AS YOURSELF doesn’t make you an actor. No! No it doesn’t! Do not pass Go! Do not collect 200 dollars! Instead, pass “Go to Hell” and collect eternal damnation for all your lies!

He asked that we not take a pic and I understood because we have to be careful of our image for tabloids...
Great excuse for not having a picture of the two of you together (which most likely would have been taken by you on your camera)! You’ve already claimed that Gawker is your own personal tabloid (“GawKade”), and what they’ve said about you kind of destroys any “image” you think you have…

I am sure that when Team Kade reaches out to him to make a “Celeb Cameo” on my show with IMG Media, he will jump at the opportunity to be reunited with The Brand.
Oh yeah, that’s it! Hey man, we’ve got some decent B.C. Bud up here, but what you’re smokin’ has GOT to be from the Caribbean, yo! You sure you weren’t talking about The Congos earlier?

Walking up to the DJ Booth as I always do at 1OAK after being escorted in…
Standing as close as possible to the DJ Booth at 1OAK after waiting in line like everyone else…

I realized who was spinning was none other than the great fashion designer, Marc Jacobs, who was so intensely focused on his set, that I didn’t want to bother him to say “Hello” and get a “Celeb Shout Out” to the crowd like I do at different clubs on the East and West Coast…
Yet another great excuse as to why you don’t have a picture of yourself and someone else who has at least SOME success in “””’’”“’’’’The Biz!”””’’””’”’”’”’ You probably weren’t even allowed NEAR the DJ booth, you fucking liar!

…because Marc was so busy, I didn’t want to pull rank and make it seem like I was bigger than him, especially because I’m sure he will want Arthur Kade front row in future fashion shows during IMG Fashion Week in NYC soon…
…so all those anorexic models can either (1) puke on you or (2) slip and fall onto you. I honestly can’t see any other reason why he would have you in the front row for fashion shows, let alone even in the building.

Running into the gorgeous Vicky’s Girl (Victoria’s Secret Model) and now friend and fellow Celeb, Selita Ebanks…
After seeing pictures of her, I can just imagine how she rolled her eyes at whoever she was with upon spotting you.

…of course she remembered The Brand from me being at her birthday Brunch at SoHo Hot Spot…
Of course! Who else spit-showered her that day?

…she responded, “I love the hat you’re wearing tonight”…
BAHAHAHAHA! I can’t WAIT for people who are reading your tripe in Los Angeles to use that line on you…and you won’t pick up on it until much too late! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

…I may have to reach out to Team Kade to find out if she is single and wants to grab din in NYC with me because when you are a celeb dating another celeb, you communicate through your reps, rather than in person like Gen Poppers do…
Don’t be a pussy, Kade. If you want to go to dinner with the girl, ASK her! YOU ask her! Ask her to her FACE! Most people get over that kind of in-person nervousness early on in high school.

While at Recess on Friday, I met and made out with an exotic looking Philly 9.85 who…
…immediately spewed in your mouth when you opened up that stinky, gaping maw and tried to shove your sarlacc-like tentacle tongue into her face. Yeah, we know. Nothing new here.

…and after trying to get her to come over to Chateau Kade for some prime time “Kadeing” after the club closed (I love when she called me “SOOOOO CUTE”), she decided to go home to her house so that we could hang out this week instaed…
Once again, a woman REFUSED to go with you to the Chateau LaundryFloor and YOU try to pass it off as nothing. BullSHIT! Do you ever wonder why women don’t go with you to your dorm of hate? It’s because they’re scared of being tied up with leather straps, having a ball gag shoved into their mouths and made to sit in front of your 38” flatscreen watching all the micro-flashes of you being an extra in whatever productions you’ve raved about in the past (I don’t even fucking care to name them anymore, that’s how sick I am of this waste of cumB) and listening to you go on and FUCKING ON about how you’re going to be the next big thing…BIG FUCKIN’ DEAL. Also, why did you spell “instead” wrong?

…texted me at 4:40AM once I was showered and in bed asking me if I wanted to “Hang Out Now”, but I had to turn her down because I had to work on The Craft the next morning and run errands early.
Blogging at Cothi’s is surely a reason to turn down hanging out with a girl at 5 AM. You da mad winner, yo.

Through my 20’s, I never turned down hooking up with gorgeous girls late night, and now I actually do because I am so dedicated to “”The Journey”", and as Mickey told Rocky, “”Women Weaken Knees”"…
Your nose weakens people’s will to live.

…so if any Gen Popper ever doubts my commitment to holding “”LIl’ Oscar”", episodes like this should make them believe…
Uh, yeah, bullshit, because one of your “Top Moments” from your March 8th, 2010 blog post (#3 to be exact) talks about you going to a girl’s house, being naked with her and then having her wake you up at 6:45 AM to kick your lazy, dumbass out. Also, the #1 of your “Top Moments” from your March 1st, 2010 blog post states that you “ended up going home with a girl I was hanging with earlier in the night, and when we woke up at her place, we laughed at how she tried to keep me from coming over by telling me, “My Legs aren’t shaved” to which The Brand responded, “I’ll throw you in the shower when we get to your place”, and the other one was “My place is a disaster” to which Arthur Kade responded, “Perfect, because we are going to make it messier”. I told her, “You realize you are trying to stop a locomotive with a cardboard box right now”, and I made sure it was a worth while night for her, although I was so wasted I had “Whiskey Dick” and couldn’t cumb if my life depended on it.” FUCKING LIAR you are.

…although I have hooked up with 10 girls in the last 3 weeks cementing Arthur Kade’s stature as “One of Hollywood’s Biggest Bad Boys”.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT…is comedy! If you TRULY WERE one of the "Bad Boys" you’d have hooked up with 10 girls in a SINGLE NIGHT! Also, you’re not in Hollywood, you’re in Philadelphia. I might as well say that I myself am “on the way to being one of Toronto’s Bestest Movie Actors” because I pounded a girl last night, and a few days before that, and again a few days before THAT. Christ, even Matt Beauchamp is a bigger, more famous star than you! Fuck, even Anastasia Beaverhousen, Drunken Housewife and Drew are better than you at scoring with chicks! You know what I’m sayin’?

Being invited to the “List Only” NFL Private Party at the newly opening W Hotel in Kade Angeles while I am there killing it in meetings with Major TV Networks all dying to meet Arthur Kade…
Yeah, I think you’re going to be the only one who’s going to die. I’ve never been to L.A. but if I talked as much shit as you, I’d be one scared little cracker.

…introduce The Brand and “The Journey” to many of the top athletes in the world who will either be Kade Nation fans already, or will be “Konverts” (The term that the Gen Pop uses for New Kade Nation Alumni)…
Konverts! People to add to the Kongregation in the Khurch of Kade! How many priests will you shuffle off to other cities after they’ve been accused of sucking off the young Kalter boys? Don’t sissy out like the Vatican, man, keep ‘em there! The Gen Pop will forgive and forget once you use your “charisma, charm, and wit” to convince them that the priests are still Holy men! Hell, word of your amazingness might even spread to Rome, and Pope Norm will most likely appoint you to be a special guest in Vatican City, yo! Then you can be the superstar of the Catholic church and bang nuns in the nunnery! Go Kadester, it’s yo birfday….

The invite list is strictly “A-List”, and will be a terrific opportunity to focus on “Biz” networking as well as getting a threesome with some models that night.
So, in other words, you’ll be volunteering to clear tables and trying to pawn your “business card” off on KA 9s and 10s who will slap you, snap their fingers and have their athlete boyfriends dunk you headfirst into every toilet they can find in that place after people have tested out the new Banana Strawberry brand of X-lax, right? Gotcha.

When Gen Poppers look in the mirror, they see their reflection. When Arthur Kade looks in the mirror, it has an orgasm.
Oh, if only it would. Do you know how much damage broken glass can do to human skin? Imagine standing in front of a mirror (that’s as tall as you) and having the thing explode out at you…surgeons would never be able to get all those tiny glass shards out of your Kangaroo face. Oh! Then you could be all sparkly like Edward Cullen from “Twilight”! It’ll be THOOOOOOOO THPECIAL!

Regarding the videos (ugh),

“Kade’s Overnight Bag”: The backpack makes a return! Also, your “quick n’ easy overnight bag” SUCKS. I hope someone steals it and throws it off the train…and then throws you under it. The ONLY celebrity I’ve seen using anything but REAL luggage was Ron Jeremy (but that’s because Ron is saving his money so he can get out of porn one day and become a real actor in mainstream Hollywood; check it out for yourself in the documentary “Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy”). By the way, who the hell is filming your video? Is it Chad Boonswang? I’ve heard that he’s a short little fella. Definitely not Marissa Rosen (because of the lack of cackling as a result of your lame humour)! So what gives, Kade-O? Who’s your new handycam wingman? Kevin McDonald? And why is it that whoever is with you nowadays doesn't want to be seen on camera with you? If you're such a big star and/or rising celebrity, then one would think that your pals would want to be front and center with you. How 'bout them apples, eh?

“What If? And Why Not?” Book Release Party": Short, dark, painful…the exact romantic setting that you use after you’ve thrown a girl (drugged up by you, of course) over your shoulder and carted her back to Chateau Stinko for some “Rosemary’s Baby”-style fucking (Mia Farrow unconscious and John Cassavetes goin’ at ‘er). When all your videos are accidentally deleted (or removed for their overbearing retardedness), are you really going to miss them? Will you cry? Because let me tell ya, Youtube would LOVE to get back the few gigabytes of space your dumb videos are taking up. Do you hold your digital life in such high regard, Kade? Do you?

“The Standard Grill”: He wears his hat inside the restaurant. He gives a shout out TO HIS MENU. I did not see anyone else at the table he was at. He’s fucking annoying. I am disappoint.

“The Suite At The Royalton”: You fuckers better be thanking me for watching these god damn videos. Whatever you do, don’t watch them. That’s why I’m not embedding the codes here, because they FUCKING SUCK AND THEY’RE THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Fuck man, I should have dubbed in some of these videos instead of Kade’s “Greed is good” monologue when putting together the “Clockwork orange” bit of the “2009: A Study in Arthur Kade's Epic Failure” video. It’s strange: Arthur says that one of his favourite places to stay when he’s in the Big Kap…Apple (pardon me) is the Royalton, yet he’s never mentioned it in his blog before now. Puzzling. Then he shows us, the viewers (I use plural because I think Kevin Brueck would be watching too, but hardly anyone else), the BATHROOM. WOOOOOOW. “Look at this,” he says, showing us the big tub. “Tell me some hot sex is not gonna happen in that tub.” We don’t have to. You know it, and we know it. Then he shows us the fucking fireplace….THAT ISN’T EVEN ON! WHAT, WAS THAT GOING TO COST YOU EXTRA, FUCKHEAD? He says to not leave the fireplace on all night because the room will then smell like “sut.” Yes, sut. I kid you not, sut. I spelled it the way I heard him pronounce it. That’s probably what he cumbs out of his tiny, shrivelled-up demon-member all over the faces of girls he’s tied down in the Chateau. He’s such a loser. I can’t believe he posts these embarrassing videos. Really, I can’t. Seriously. Really and seriously. I am a loser for watching them. I’m sorry, y’all, this will be my last LegoWig post because I’m going to cut my wrists and shoot myself in the head…twice. Twice? Not possible, you say. Oh, but it can happen. It HAS happened! Gary Webb did it! Of course, some may doubt that because of his investigative journalism exposure of the CIA’s knowledge of the crack epidemic in South Central Los Angeles and how the funding was going towards the Nicaraguan contras AND his book “Dark alliance” detailing such things…but no, that’s a bunch of poppycock. He shot himself twice in the head…just to be sure…just as I am sure I will do once I finish uploading this.

“Vietnamese Kade Nation Dances For The Brand”: First he asks a group of Vietnamese girls to dance for him, then to say “I love Arthur Kade.” Come on man, they’re probably in the country as escorts or sex slaves, so why you gotta make their lives even more miserable? Whatever they all said, they said it in Vietnamese (hopefully they caught on to how much of a douche he was right away and covered up their derogatory terms of him while saying it to his face). Fuck you Kade, they should have pulled some Tony Jaa moves on your stupid hide and left you bleeding on the dance floor so that women could poke holes in your face with their high heels.

Okay, that’s it. I’m glad that post is over…ditto with my life because of this deluded fucknut. As NewsFlash! said in the comment section of this blog post, “Nobody Cares!”

Wig out.

BOOM.

BOOOOOOOOOOM.

The lie counter.

2010-03-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

Criticism of the March 5th, 2010 blog post entitled “The Fountain of Kade”:

Being The Brand and the man that will be the biggest celebrity and award winning actor and author in the world
Lie #1.

can definitely have it’s perks like gorgeous vagina thrown at you from every angle,
Even though you don’t end up sleeping with them. Yeah, way to take advantage of those “perks.”

“Mega Bizzers” calling you from KA every week hoping to work with or represent you
Lie #2.

having a Hit TV Show with IMG Media and NY Times Bestseller with Trident Media Group happening soon
Lie #3.

I said, “Man, I am so lonely. I haven’t met a nice girl that I wanted to date in forever
Gee, I wonder why! Surely it has nothing to do with your charming personality!

“”Smuts”" (This is a term one friend created which is a combination of “Slut” and “Mut” which describes girls with no self respect who sleep around who everyone hates or makes fun of, and are dumb as a doornail because they have no idea why or are in denial, whom he called, “The Lowest form of life imaginable”)
Kade, this is a P-E-R-F-E-C-T description….of you. You CLAIM to have slept with tons of women (supermodels, if I remember correctly), you have no self-respect (or shame or dignity or self-awareness), almost everyone hates you (comments section: yours AND ours), you’re DUMBER than a doornail (why would anyone put a nail in a door, anyway, besides as a makeshift hook) and you are in denial about being Gen-Pop like the lot of us (check out the floor of Chateau Kade for proof of this because REAL celebrities have things called DRESSERS AND OTHER TYPES OF FURNITURE IN WHICH TO STORE THEIR CLOTHES).

have made me lose my faith in humanity in this city
Some Philadelphia locals have made the same comment when talking about you and why no one in the City of Brotherly Love has given you a good ol’ Philly beatdown.

We decided to have The Brand make a celeb appearance at The Black Eyed Peas
Lie #4. Going to a concert does NOT mean you’re making a “celeb appearance.” And who is this “we”? Nowhere in the five videos that you posted does the viewer see any of your Nontourage. There is evidence that someone (besides yourself) was filming the third video (entitled “Security Won’t High 5 The Brand”) and POSSIBLY the fifth (entitled “Fergie Smiles At The Brand”), but other than that (and a picture taken of you gesturing towards a picture of Frank Sinatra), there is no clear indication that you had anyone with you that night.

we stood under Fergie for much of the concert where I noticed she was staring at The Brand
Lie #5. Standing “under” her would indicate that you were AT THE FRONT OF THE STAGE. Upon inspection of the pictures you took of the concert (isn’t there some rule at concerts that specifies “no photography allowed”?), it is clear (to me, at least) that you were at least 40 feet (480 inches) from the tip of the stage. Note: zooming in with your camera does not mean you were any closer to the stage than you actually were. Plus, with all the bright lights on her, it was no doubt almost impossible to see you specifically from where she was standing. Nice try, though! I think you said that either as a joke or to goad your haters into attacking you.

and thought she may bring me up for a “Celeb Shout Out” to the Wachovia Center, but it was so hot up front, and the performance so disappointing that I had to move to the back then bail early and skip partying with the band at the after party at Voyeur
Lie #6. In neither video (“On The Floor” or “Fergie Smiles At The Brand”) did you say that ANY performance by ANY artist that night was disappointing.

Kade, if ANYONE in that stadium TRULY THOUGHT you were a celebrity, then you would have posted pictures/video of “The Fan Who Approached Me At The Black Eyed Peas Concert.” Also, if you were as big a celebrity as you think you are, you would have been backstage or watching the concert from behind the curtains, partying it up with the performers and their crews…but as it stands, you are Gen Pop (this is clearly shown by your position “On The Floor”).

to support my girl Fergie (She is a KA 7.44 with a “Frisbee Face” (A super round face that looks like a Wham-O Frisbee with a very toned little body although she needs implants and way less collagen and botox because she looks like a wax figure now, and she has got to be careful that my buddy Josh Duhamel doesn’t kick her to the curb)
Lie #7. You don’t have any pictures of yourself standing with Josh Duhamel, so he could not possibly be your “buddy.” And, like the descriptions of other women on the “Kade Scale”, this criticism of Fergie will most likely bite you in the future.

Even The Brand believes in some form of the concept of “Love”
Lie #8.

hopes to one day find it without the girl wanting him just as a “Piece of Meat” or “Eight Figure Per Movie” actor who they can use for fame or money,
The way you talk about “Vagina” gives your readers the impression that all you see when you look at a woman is a “Piece of Meat.”

being Arthur Kade and especially being the biggest name in Philly, every girl is counting all of your future earnings.
Lie #9. I can probably find more “future earnings” under the cushions of my couch right now.

(This week was insane because The Brand was in NYC 3 days in and out of meetings like a celeb of my caliber should be, and I am actually looking forward to a weekend in Philadelphia to dekadepress)
The “celeb” of your “caliber” is simply your ballooned state of mind. Also, how many other celebrities did you see taking public transit to and from NYC?

one of The Entourage suggested I stop by my old stomping ground of Neiman Marcus
Neiman Marcus? That reminds me of a comment someone left on your Snapvine voicemail…
“...yet, I’m pretty sure you used to sell my boyfriend clothes at Neiman Marcus and you used to suck him out to make sales…”
http://www.snapvine.com/message/show/21377413

we grabbed din with 3 of the models
If you’re going to shorten words like “dinner”, you might as well shorten “model” as well (to “mod”). You are the jackass of the literary world.

the only thing that kept her from a 9.9 or 10 was that I wish was a bit more outgoing
Possible reason she wasn’t more outgoing? She’s most likely heard of you and doesn’t want to give you the impression that she’s interested.

((Arthur Kade is not Douchey because almost all girls want him and he has turns down more sex in a week than Gen Poppers get in a decade)))
Lies #10 and #11. You ARE “Douchey.” It’s said that the average American male has sex once a week, and if that’s true then that’s 520 times in 10 years…which would mean, by your claim, you’re turning down that “gorgeous vagina thrown at you” 74.29 times a day. Riiiiiiiiiight.

I truly understand why older men gravitate to younger girls because outside of them being more beautiful, in better shape, and less jaded than the 30+ crowd (Which in Philadelphia is equivalent to suicide if you’re not married)
You’re over 30 and not married. Shouldn’t you suicide yourself now? And what of your friends, Sabrina Strickland and Linsday Furman? THEY are over 30 and not married! Is your statement somehow critical of them, or do you exclude them simply because they’re your friends?

The Brand lives like a 21 year old, “Sinatra-esque” life
Lie #12.

I responded, “I am the youngest and most happening guy in this room,
Lie #13.

and it is because I surround myself with only gorgeous 21-25 year old girls”

Again, I refer you to Sabrina Strickland and Lindsay Furman, who are over 30 (and whom you have been photographed with numerous times, some very recently). Also, if one were to take a look at your blog and see this…
(from the March 1st, 2010 blog post entitled “The University Of Pennsylvania Releases An “Unauthorized Documentary” About Arthur Kade”)
…one would be VERY reluctant to assume that the woman in the middle (with the black hair) is between 21 and 25.

and is “The Face Of Philadelphia”

Lie #14. There is no magazine that claims this, and a Google image search does not produce any pictures of you.

the real question for me is now will I want to ever grow old with a 9/10, or will Arthur Kade always be looking to drink from the “Fountain Of Kade”?

Do you mean that you’ll eventually be a balding old man who will be “making comments about Complainant's breasts, telling Complainant that she would be good in bed, telling

Complainant that he would personally perform an abortion if she became pregnant, calling Complainant a "bitch", touching Complainant's rear end, placing his arms around Complainant, placing his hands in Complainant's pockets, rubbing up against Complainant, and repeatedly poking Complainant in the shoulder”? Your dad certainly seemed to want to drink from “The Fountain”, so much so that he went to court because of it! (See http://www.aopc.org/OpPosting/CWealth/out/327CD06_1-25-07.pdf)

“It Isn’t cheating if it’s getting “”Kaded” by The Brand. It’s discovering Nirvana”…

Yes, I’m sure all the ladies out there were simply DYING to find an excuse to sleep with you, Creepy Von Hopeless; thankfully your sex-driven, fame-driven mind is running overtime to help them.

Criticism of the March 7th, 2010 blog post entitled “ChatRoulette.com (GawKade Covers The Brand’s Penn Documentary And Black Eyed Peas Concert Appearance)”:

“I should be there supporting all of my friends and peers, but I am not going until Arthur Kade has earned the right to be there and stand at that podium”

So, in other words, you’ll never be going?

what I will wear in front of the world when I collect my first of many “Lil’ Oscars”, and the fab speech that Arthur Kade will deliver (I practice it all the time in the car while driving, and it will bring the Gen Pop to tears when I thank my grandmother in Russian)

Lie #15. You won’t be collecting even one Oscar, let alone many. Also, I doubt that the Gen Pop will be brought to tears when you thank your grandmother in Russian because a large amount of the American population DOES NOT SPEAK ANY RUSSIAN! Now, if you were speaking Spanish, you’d probably be understood by a great deal of them…

the Congratulations that The Brand will receive from Bobby DeNiro, Danny Day Lewis, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Eddie Murphy, Annie Hathaway, and Meryl Streep (I was telling a friend last night, “I wonder If I should have the presenter announce me as “Arthur Kade” or as “The Brand”)

Why did you shorten some, and not all of, their names? Ed Murphy, An Hathaway and Mer Streep would have shown consistency. I think if Meryl Streep DID announce you as “The Brand” she would barely be able to keep a straight face…nevermind the fact that she’d be close to 100 by that point.

The Entourage and Gen Poppers made me feel so much better about everything because they reminded me that with a Hit TV Show and NY Times Bestseller on the way

Lies #16 and 17.

and crazy Balls Ass meetings

Balls Ass meetings! Are you getting into porn, or did you remember the #1 rule in showbusiness (“Work the shaft”) while on that casting couch?

for anyone who doesn’t know you, it will be awesome”

It sure will be, because they’ll be completely surprised when an unknown assclown walks up to them and blabbers about how he’s the next big thing in “”””””The Biz.”””’’

“The Journey” is light years ahead of what anyone has ever dreamed

Especially for us, because we Gen Poppers have such low expectations of you and “Duh Gurney.”

I went home with a girl to have some fun

Poor girl. I bet the definitions you two have of “fun” are quite different.

since I am now a Global M.I.M. ((Mogul In The Making)) and celebrity

Lie #18.

check out this website, ChatRoulette.com” (This is a website where you jump on and are directed to random Gen Poppers around the world who are also on the site…so I jumped on the site, and here are the hilarious results

“Hilarious” indeed. No one fucking knew who in the fucking fuck you were, you stupid fuck.

and the Link To The GawKade (Gawker.com which is Arthur Kade’s Personal International Celebrity Tabloid At this point) article covering the controversial and groundbreaking Documentary that the University Of Pennsylvania did on The Brand which will be discussed by the Gen Pop for years to come
August 10th, 2023:
Gen Popper (GP) 1: Dude! I was searching the HotchickswithDouchebags archives…do you know who Arthur Kade is?
GP2: …Arthur Kade? Sounds familiar. Oh yeah! He’s that Philly famewhore that tried to make it in Hollywood with his blog and being on a reality show. I remember him! I used to comment on his stupid posts once in awhile. He even had this movie made about him! I think it was some university guys who did a documentary on him.
GP1: What happened to him? Did he make it?
GP2: No idea. After about a year I got bored with the whole thing and never went back to his site…except for once, but it said that his site was closed down.
GP1: Oh…..So hey, about tomorrow, before the Black eyed peas reunion concert…

I could tell that she was totally blown away meeting The Brand in person as everyone else is
Lie #19.

“It’s one thing to watch porn on TV, but when you actually get to experience a REAL porn star, it’s a million times more exciting,
Lie #20. You’re not a porn star.

people read the blog, but then they see how dynamic, good looking, charming, and BIG I am in real life and go nuts
Lies 21, 22, 23, 24 and 25. Just because Kevin McDonald was excited to meet you in person doesn’t mean that everyone else is, too. And don’t exaggerate it to be that way.

Meeting “The Lebron James Of Japan” who’s name I can’t remember because he is a MMA fighter who is as big over there as A-Rod Or Lebron are here (He couldn’t speak English so he had a full time interpreter with him who absolutely loved when The Brand said, “I have a Hit TV Show Coming Out, and am going to be HUGE in Japan as well, so let’s exchange info so we can party in Tokyo with some hot Geishas when I make appearances over there)
Lies #26 and 27. You will not be huge in Japan, nor will you “make an appearance” over there. You can TRAVEL there, and since (at this time) one American dollar is equivalent to 90.5698 Japanese Yen (http://www.xe.com/ucc/convert.cgi?Amount=1&From=USD&To=JPY&image.x=56&image.y=13) you may be able to hang around for awhile…which is great, because if you blog about partying Kade Style in The house of the rising sun, that will be a great tip-off for people to break into your apartment and ransack your shit.

we even filmed a vid of him showing me some “Kade Style” wrestling maneuvers that I could use to get over zealous fans away if they stalk or attack me, but the vid came out to dark so I am not posting it.
But you posted this video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_ZjIOYV0JU'
And this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQEKCFzyHmw
And this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol9XMoQXULs
AND THIS? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tUKM6pRo7M
I think the following quote was from a Seinfeld episode…
“YOU STUPID, STUPID SILLY MAN!”

for guys that can totally destroy anyone of us with one punch or kick, they all couldn’t have been sweeter
Men don’t use words like “sweeter” when talking about other men. Masculine fail for you.

The Girl that I went home with on Friday after Recess told me when we were already naked in her house, “I hate sharing the bed with someone else, and I get up early like 7AM, so you will need to leave then”, and I laughed and said, “Good luck getting me out of the house at 7AM”, but sure enough, she woke The Brand up at 6:45AM and asked me to leave, and when I said, “Are you serious? I am still drunk and can’t move”, she responded, “I hate having people in my bed so yes I am serious”, so Arthur Kade got dressed and went home. I told one of The Entourage, “I guess I didn’t do a good enough job with her”.
That means “I didn’t use enough Rohypnol on her.”

I said ” Are you kidding me. I’m Arthur Kade and I am not a slut. Girls just want me to be with me and my penis. Am I supposed to say No to them?”.
Lies #28 and 29. Usually, it’s them saying no to you (unless you used a significant quantity of GHB).

Eating at my “Fave” restaurant in Philadelphia, Buddakan
Note to all Gen Poppers who may want to interrupt Arthur Kade in the future to ask him for his autograph.

It’s great being the “Face Of Philadelphia”, but also one of the “Future Biggest Names in “”The Biz”"”, because Arthur Kade is catered to like the King Of England in Philadelphia.
Lies #30 and 31.

“You aren’t a celebrity when you get preferential treatment. You are a celebrity when the celebrities give you preferential treatment, and want you to sleep with their wives or girlfriends”…
Surely you can QUOTE some of these celebrities who want you to sleep with their wives or girlfriends? Otherwise you’d be, y’know, MAKING SHIT UP.

Criticism of the March 11th, 2010 blog post entitled “Arthur Kade Heads To Hollywood To Meet With Major TV Networks”:

Like many amazing, great spiritual, symbolic leaders and pioneers before him, such as Moses who led The Jews out of Egypt and Christopher Columbus who sailed across The Atlantic, the time has now come for the illustrious and “One of Hollywood’s fastest Rising Names and Actors/Authors”, Arthur Kade, and IMG Media to head to the mecca of “The Biz”, Hollywood in Kade Angeles, and conduct meetings and negotiations with the various TV Networks that have reviewed the Hit Show that we have been creating for the last 6 months, and these multiple TV Networks have now requested to actually meet The Brand in person and see that “The Kadeicorn” (The nickname given to me in a prior post by a rabid Female Kade Nation Member who compared my stature in Philadelphia to that of a mythical worshipped creature called a Unicorn) is indeed real, and take “The Journey” to the next step of it’s “Odyssey-Like” greatness.
Lies #32, 33, 34, 35 and 36. You’re probably going to Los Angeles because you found a cattle call on Actor’s Access. Either that or your parents have some property there too (like they do in Florida). Here’s a comment from Kudos from the November 30th, 2009 blog post entitled “Business And Pleasure In Miami”

Kudos on 01 Dec 2009 at 3:09 am
This wasn’t hard to figure out…Klispy the wonder douche never does anything on his own. He always rides along then claims he was a-list and it was part of the journey. The pattern is unmistakable. Here’s the kicker…L/e/oni/d K/a/dy/sh/es and R/ai/sa Y K/ad/ys/hes had an apt. (In a high-rise) in Hal/lan/da/le, FL.
They sold that unit then Le/on/id bought another unit (w/2 other ‘partners’) in the same building. The douche master general is just going down to Flo/rid/a with his dad and step mom and (as usual) is talking like he’s doing something and he’s somebody. Sad little douche, always talking about girls he’s never had, things he’s never done, places he’s never been and lying about it all. He had to be the worst child ever and hasn’t changed a bit. Do a goggle search for Lo/en/id Ka/d/ys/hes…not to many hits on that name.

We are being told that The Brand is the toast of the town right now amongst these major networks, and the “Buzz” (The term we “Bizzers” use to describe when a concept or product like a movie/TV script or Prized award winning actor like Arthur Kade is “Ultra-Hot” in Hollywood) surrounding my Hit Number 1 show is deafening, and judging by the response of the major networks who want to meet, evaluate, and get to know The Brand who will be the face of Hollywood for years to come, this trip which will be March 22-25 will be EPIC in helping shape and mold the future of the history of television programming.
Lies #37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42 and 43. Mold the FUTURE of the HISTORY of television? Are you on glue or what?

talking about how his “Brand” will shape the minds of future generations and re-write the history books and win Emmy’s for years to come because there has never been anything like this concept on TV..
Lies #44, 45 and 46. You’re definitely going to shape the minds of future generations, all right. “Man, I sure hope I don’t grow up to be a deluded fuckhole like him,” Little Timmy thought. I don’t doubt there has never been anything like a reality show about a fame-whoring douchebag on TV because TV executives have been smart enough to shy away from stuff like that…although, with the programs out there nowadays, the bottom of the barrel is getting closer and closer, and you know what that means: calling Arthur Kade!

I am a star of in both my experience, performances, and feedback to young rising students who look to The Brand for guidance
Lies #47, 48, 49 and 50. They look to you to know what to AVOID when they perform!

“It is one thing to get to know Arthur Kade while reading my famous blog that millions have read, and following “”The Journey”" through the mainstream celebrity media that is obsessed with me, but when I am in a room, the effect that I have on people is unheard of. I am bigger than life in person with a level of charm, intrigue, honesty, confidence, and electricity than anyone Gen Poppers can imagine
Lies #51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59 and 60. Gen Poppers can imagine quite a bit. Don’t think so highly of yourself until you’ve read some history and seen what the average person can come up with by simply using their imagination.

I had one girl say to me last night, “After hearing you just talk to your friend, you have a certain sensitivity and humility that I didn’t imagine you having just from reading your blog and being a fan. It really creates this aura that people want to be around you and makes you much more likeable although I still kinda’ hate you. You really do have a “”Star”" Quality to you”
She said that EXACTLY? Those exact words? Did you write it down or did you ask her to? Was it on camera? Why not show that footage to us haters? And no, you don’t have a star quality to you; you have an “”Idiot”" quality to you that creates an aura (much as laughing gas creates an aura) that makes people want to be around you to get a load of how much of an introverted, autistic, young-man’s-mind-in-an-adult’s-body cracker you are.

“Why do you think I land all the girls? It’s not just my great smile
Lies #61 and 62.

and much more impressive looking as well
Lie #63.

(Kade Nation will remember when Danny Bonaduce told me I was much better looking in real life than on camera when we celebrity interviewed me on his radio show)
You know that old saying, “The camera adds 15 pounds”? You know how a lot of commenters talk about how big your nose is? Yeah.

when I meet people, their opinions are, “That is the most impressive young man I have ever met”
They’re impressed by the fact that you can take all this criticism and keep plugging along with “Duh Gurney”, but I think that’s about it.

“What a spectacular specimen of a human being”, and “It’s hard to believe he isn’t the president of the United States already”
Lies #64 and 65.

While in KA, I will also try to meet up with and network with some of my celeb friends and peers, make a couple nighttime Celeb appearances at the hottest clubs and restaurants in KA, and am also working on scheduling additional “Biz” meetings and an interview that would be the biggest one Arthur Kade has done thus far, and am just waiting for confirmation that it will go down and if last time I was in KA was any reminder this trip will be filled with “Kade Style” surprises.
Whatever happened to “The Blonde” and “The Loo”? I thought they lived in Los Angeles (or, at least in the area surrounding it)? Perhaps they should be on the lookout for him (and maybe even throw in a few ‘surprises’ of their own!)?

“The Brand remembers telling his elementary teacher he wanted to be an actor when he grew up. He should have told her he was going to be a Hollywood Legend”
…in the jail cell of his own mind.

For all the Kade Nation Members who don’t remember why Los Angeles became Kade Angeles last year
Or, more importantly, don’t care…

I spend the day at the hottest spots in town like The IVY, and The Thompson Pool (Where I had a gorgeous black girl all over me)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkGrWzlc3T4
I liked the part in the video (0:20) where you said, “Look at that shit” in reference to her face. No way that anyone could ever imply racism by that remark. And she was NOT all over you; she was lying back, enjoying the sun when your guido-wannabe ass intruded on her beautiful privacy.

had some of the top comedians in Hollywood inviting me to private parties
Don’t you mean Sarah Silverman’s sister, Laura? Is Laura Silverman a top comedian? Nothing against her, but don’t pump other people up the way you pump yourself up, Arthur.

In the comments section of a previous Legowig post (Showtime, Kadester!), Anonymous, on February 23rd, 2010 at 2:38 PM said, “His website is a mess. The "comments" are not even remotely funny anymore.” I think the comments are not as funny as they used to be, but there are some good ones from time to time. Let’s recap:

Brute Force Anal Thruster on 11 Mar 2010 at 10:30 am
Such a stupid fucking post! Let’s hope the show you’re pitching is “Are You Smarter Than A Philly Retard?”

Bob Vila on 11 Mar 2010 at 11:47 am
This shit is just sad, at this point.
As Five Knuckles In A Juicy Pussy pointed out above, Arthur hoping to be on a reality show, which by nature is not acting. So even Arthur’s aspirations are failures.
Arthur, you are the rocketship that blew up on the launch pad. You are the still born baby. You aimed high and murdered your own chances before they even had a chance to get off the ground. Wow.
Furthermore, how pathetic are the claims made in this and many other posts? Confident people don’t go around shouting how popular, talented and good looking they are to anyone who will listen. They know they are all of those things, know everyone else will see it for themselves and go about their gifted lives. It’s painfully clear you don’t see yourself as any of those things, or you wouldn’t be pleading with your blog readers to believe that you are.
Which IS what you do, everyday. You BEG us to believe in you, Arthur, yet nobody does.

Phil the @ssdrillon 11 Mar 2010 at 12:00 pm
Please document everything. and don’t forget to take a picture in every washroom you visit.

Now, the reader may think that, by posting comments from ArTurd’s site, I’m trying to make my own content funnier. Not true. The reason that I went back to Kade’s site over and over again (when I first found it) was because of the hilarity of the Gen Pop commenters; the ability of the common man to make entertainment for and amongst himself was far more intriguing than Kade’s endless, rampant, exaggerated drivel.

I’m beginning to think that Kade has some life-threatening disease. It makes perfect sense: if you know you’re dying, why would you continue doing a dead-end job like the one he had in finances? Why not spend the remainder of your days living out some childhood dream? He may have thought to himself (soon after being diagnosed) that he wanted to do something that people will remember him for. The sad part (of course) is that when Kadyshes is gone, he’ll only be remembered in a hateful way, as Arthur Kade.

Regarding the Legowig post entitled “Awesome voicemail”, Anonymous, on March 10th, 2010 at 4:04 PM, said:

Unfortunately, I really don't care about Kade anymore and only visit your blog every few weeks

That’s entirely fine with me. I understand that, as less and less people comment on Kade’s tripe, the Wig will have fewer visitors as well. Our goal here is to make sure Arthur’s ship sinks all the way to the bottom, which means we have to follow him into the depths. But, as long as there’s one less douchebagging guido-famewhore clogging up the airwaves, the better our society will be (even if only 0.00000000000000001% better).

SAG info.

2010-03-11T10:48:00.000-08:00

Read about joining SAG on Wikipedia…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screen_Actors_Guild#Joining_SAG

“For years, SAG had the "three voucher rule". After collecting 3 valid union vouchers for three separate days of work, a background performer (an extra) can become SAG-Eligible; however, employment must be confirmed with payroll data not vouchers. SAG productions require a minimum number of SAG members be employed as background performers before a producer is permitted to hire a non-union background performer in their production. For television productions, the minimum number of SAG background performers is 19, for commercials the minimum is 40, and for feature films, the minimum is 50. Often, due to the uniqueness of a role, or constraints on the numbers of available SAG performers or last-minute cancellations, those minimums are unable to be met. When this happens, producers are permitted to fill one or more of those union spots with non-union performers. The non-union performer chosen to fill the union spot is then issued a union extra voucher for the day, and that non-union performer is entitled to all the same benefits and pay that the union performer would have received under that voucher. The SAG-Eligible background performer may continue working in non-union productions and is not required to join the Guild before performing in another SAG production as a background performer.”

From http://www.sag.org/content/eligibility-check

“Performers are eligible to join Screen Actors Guild after working on a SAG film in a principal role, gaining "Taft Hartley" status 15 days after the first day of work - or meeting background entry requirements.”

From http://www.sag.org/content/steps-join

“A performer becomes eligible for Screen Actors Guild membership under one of the following two conditions: (1) proof of SAG employment or (2) employment under an affiliated performers’ union.

1. Proof of Employment

1. Principal Performer Employment

Performers may join SAG upon proof of employment. Employment must be in a principal or speaking role in a SAG film, videotape, television program or commercial. Proof of such employment may be in the form of a signed contract, or original pay stubs. The document proving employment must provide the following information:

- applicant’s name
- applicant’s Social Security number
- name of the production or name of the commercial (product name)
- the salary paid (in dollar amount)
- the specific date(s) worked.

2. Background Actors may join SAG upon proof of employment as a SAG–covered background player at full SAG rates and conditions for a MINIMUM of three work days subsequent to March 25, 1990. Employment must be by a company signed to a SAG Agreement under which the Producer is required to cover background actors. Proof of employment must be in the form of original paystubs or a payroll printout faxed from the payroll house. Such documents must provide the same information (name, Social Security number, etc.) as listed above.

2. Employment Under an Affiliated Performers' Union

Performers may join SAG if the applicant is a paid-up member of an affiliated performers' union (ACTRA, AEA, AFTRA, AGMA or AGVA) for a period of one year and has worked and been paid for at least once as a principal performer in that union’s jurisdiction.

How do I join?

Legitimacy of Application

· Your application and proof of employment will be fully investigated by the Guild for validity. Your application for SAG membership will be denied if you have falsified your credentials, or if your qualifying employment is not bona fide.
· While it is your responsibility to ascertain the validity of your qualifying employment, the Guild will be the sole arbiter in determining whether the employer was legitimate or bogus, and whether the qualifying employment which you performed was actual production work or work created solely to enable you to gain Guild membership. Please be aware that false representation or deception on your part will jeopardize your chances to join the Guild.
· Further, if after your application has been granted the Guild discovers such misconduct on your part, you may find yourself subject to disciplinary proceedings, which could result in your being fined, suspended and/or expelled from the Guild.

Appointments for Admission

If you are eligible under the conditions stated above, please contact your nearest SAG office BEFORE COMING IN so we can advise you of the amount of your joining fee and arrange an appointment.

Submitting Proof of SAG Eligibility

You may contact the Guild about your eligibility status. If your file is not on record or incomplete, you may submit one of the following documents as proof of eligibility:

· Original paycheck stubs.
· Original activity print-out or report from the payroll company that states your name, social security number, the name of the production company, the title of the production, the salary paid in dollar amount, and the specific date(s) worked. The payroll company must submit this document directly to the SAG Membership Services Department.

Background vouchers and copies of paycheck stubs are not acceptable as proof of work. Submitting these types of documents will only delay verifying your Screen Actors guild eligibility.

If you provide the Guild with your original paycheck stubs, please make copies for your records before submitting them to our office.

In addition to enclosing proper eligibility documentation, you will need to include a separate piece of paper with your name, current address, current telephone number, and date of birth. A self-addressed stamped envelope must also be included so that we may return your documents to you. We ask that you print clearly to avoid input errors. Once verification is completed, you will receive a letter of eligibility from the Guild.

Initiation Fees

· To join SAG, a performer must pay an initiation fee of $2,277, plus the first semi-annual basic dues payment of $58. Thus, the total fee to join is $2,335.
· Fees may be lower if you join or work in a branch area other than Hollywood. However, if you subsequently work in an area whose governing branch charged a higher initiation fee the year that you joined than you initially paid, you must pay the difference to the new branch.
· All joining fees are payable in full, in cashier's check, money order, Visa or Mastercard at the time of application. NO PERSONAL CHECKS are accepted for joining fees."

You can read about the Taft Hartley act here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taft-Hartley

What follows is Taft Hartley’s effect on the entertainment industry, even though no footnotes are present in the paragraph (which is taken from the same article).

“The term Taft-Hartley has a special meaning in the entertainment industry. Specifically, for film and television actors, an actor not in the union who becomes a "principal performer" (says a line) is immediately eligible to join the Screen Actors Guild and is covered under the SAG contract with the production company for 30 days, at which point he or she must either join SAG or cease working on any union productions. Once joining the union, the actor may not work on any non-union production, per the terms of the bylaws. This allows SAG to get around the rules forbidding closed shops by providing a mechanism for new members to join the union.”

So, Kade, just because you THINK you're a celebrity and a big-name, big-shot actor DOES NOT MEAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE. The proof is in the paperwork, dickwad.

Also, you owe the IRS $1,168.21 (as of April 29th, 2009); joining the union costs $2,335! What's more important here? Think about it, Kadester: the entertainment industry isn't exactly beating down your door to get the apparent "greatness" that is you to join, but the IRS WILL beat down your door...and you! Don't believe me? That's fine, don't!

(Additional information and/or dissenting voices are encouraged to comment below.)

Awesome voicemail.

2010-03-08T10:12:00.000-08:00

I spend a good deal of time coming up with joke voicemails for our lisping hero, but once in awhile someone will call in with something that simply blows everything I've done completely away. After hearing the message, I clapped for the man who left it. Not only was he right on every point he made, but the sincerity and passion in his voice was both hilarious and heartwarming.

http://www.snapvine.com/message/show/22510632

Someone left a voicemail on the Legowig Snapvine account awhile ago saying that we should have a voicemail contest. I'm all in favor of that, but I am simply too poor to be mailing out prizes. If we were to host a contest, it would simply be for fun. By the way, the guy who left that message (about the voicemail contest) has left some pretty damn good voicemails on Kade's Snapvine account, especially the one where he posed as "one of your fans from China." Great job, sir!

http://www.snapvine.com/message/show/21954875

Kade, if you're looking for inspiration as an actor, you need look no further than Jeff Bridges: very talented, very likable, a lot of onscreen presence, he doesn't think himself to be better than anyone else, he doesn't have disdain for the "Gen Pop", he's got years and years of experience under his belt...and he's a nice guy to boot. I would suggest that you try to shape up and be a nice guy like Mr. Bridges, but then again, you have to be who you are.

Weekly catch-up

2010-03-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

I’m going to start with a few items that I should have included in the last post I did (which was “Showtime, Kadester!”):

Comment from “Throwing a “Kade style” bachelor party”:

AussieNaton 20 Feb 2010 at 11:25 pm
Is there an Arthur Kade drinking game? There should be. Like, drink every time Arthur uses the word “amazing”. Drink twice if it’s in the first sentence.
Plus, reading this shit would be way better drunk. Just sayin’.

Since Kade doesn’t like women very much (except to call them “cumb dumpsters” or to “Kade” them), and he often refers to orgies, this should be his new theme song:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/695/

And now, the main event:

Criticism of the February 23rd, 2010 blog post entitled “Happy Birthday Mama Kade!!!!”:

I will be blogging my recap of the amazing celebrity appearance…
The word “amazing” makes a comeback! Congratulations to Kade! I thought he had lost his mojo and his mind…oh, wait. And what of his use of the word “celebrity”? According to the Oxford Dictionary of Current English (3rd edition), the word has the following two definitions:

1. a famous person
2. the state of being famous

From the same book, the definitions for the word “famous” are:

1. known about by many people
2. excellent

It’s possible that Kade can be seen as being “excellent”…but in my mind he can only have this word attributed to him in the sense that he is excellent at repelling people with his honesty about himself, how he views the world, and its inhabitants; thus, he is excellent at being a douchebag. This again brings up the fact that many of us found out about Mr. UnLaid through the excellent website, http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/. It would also help to explain why FryPanFace (G.N. Kang) had never before heard the word “douchebag” so many times in her life (video reference below).

How about being famous? It would appear that he’s famous for being hated, but is that really a reason to throw the word ‘celebrity’ around? I think further discussion on this particular point is both warranted and necessary.

…one Super Fan said, “You were by far the best part of the episode”…
Kade may see this in a different context than what was actually meant. I think the “Super Fan” was saying that Radishes was the best ‘punk’d’ person on the show; the fact that he took Mark Wootton’s character seriously made his time on the show all the more entertaining. Kade, however, might be under the impression that the fan thought Arthur was by far the best ACTOR on the show (as I’ve said before, Kade was not acting, but rather, being himself). Therefore, one statement can have two different meanings when two different people examine said statement. If the “Super Fan” comes forward to explain themselves, then we will all know what they actually meant.

…I think it is appropriate to use a Jesus-Like description for the time before “The Journey” because of it’s god like influence on the Gen Pop…
No, it is NOT appropriate to use a Jesus-Like description because I don’t believe Jesus Christ was a vain and narcissistic person who believed himself to be better than everyone else and bragged about hooking up with hot 9s and 10s. Jesus may have been the Son of God (or God himself in human form, I’m still confused about that), but he wanted to unite all humanity in love and in following God, NOT have people bow down to him and tell him that he was so, like, great and stuff. Furthermore, the sentence should read “because of its God-like influence…” Grammar fail #1.

…I sat Mama Kade down, and told her my plan to become the greatest actor in the world and asked her, “What if I fail?”, she said, “You don’t know how to fail”.
THAT’S for sure: you DON’T know how to fail! Luckily, some members of the “Gen Pop” DO know how you fail and point out such things on a regular basis (check the comments on Kade’s posts). I tried submitting your entire website to failblog.org, but they rejected it on the grounds that it was so packed with Fail that it would crash their servers and give their readers massive brain hemorrhages.

I won’t dive into the sea of ‘Yo momma’ jokes because a lot of the 61 comments for that blog post already do, and some of them are both vile and vulgar. Another reason that I won’t attack his mom is because of a comment that ‘Anonymous’ left on the “Showtime, Kadester!” blog post:

HEY LEGOWIG,

YOU MAKE ARTHUR LOOK LIKE A WINNER. FUCKIN LOSER.

RUSSIAN MAFIA IS COMING FOR YOU, BRO.

That brings up a good point: are Kade’s parents connected to the Mob? Is that why no one has thrown a punch at our Lispy hero? Is he protected? Is his dad high up in the Mafia? Nice subtle death threat, by the way! I’m shaking in my mukluks all the way up here in the frozen north! Luckily I have plenty of sled dogs to guard my igloo, and even if members of the Mafia DID somehow make it past them, I would be filled with energy because of the abundance of Maple syrup we have up here.

It’s nice to see that Arthur is aware of the videos I make of him, but at the same time it’s a shame that he doesn’t see the subtle way those videos mock him (the same subtlety that the ChrisDude used to have). Ah well, he can call them “Fan videos” all he wants; as long as they entertain the Katers and fool the ArTurd, I have accomplished what I set out to do.

Criticism of the February 23rd, 2010 blog post entitled “Arthur Kade’s TV Debut On Showtime’s Hit Show, LA LA Land (GawKade Covers The Brand Again)”:

In what can be summed up as one of the most anticipated, acclaimed, and amazing debuts of any celebrity ever to grace a hit TV Show…
No, it can’t be summed up that way. Just because you puffed up your chest about it for a while doesn’t make it so. I can’t say that many other people were talking about it either. How many radio and TV programs were doing segments on your up-and-coming TV debut? None? That’s what I thought.

Let’s go back in time to the July 3rd, 2009 blog post entitled “Cable project” for a moment…
(thanks to the comment that “Fucking Hack” left on the “Showtime, Kadester!” post on February 24th, 2010 at 10:19 AM who took the time to go back into the Kade archives and find this post)

My first trip to Kade Angeles was more amazing on every front than I ever imagined it could be. I made INCREDIBLE connections in “The Biz”, partied at the hottest clubs, and found out how large The Brand is out here, and the only thing missing was getting a role or job that could catapult my career to the next level.
Yet you claim that being on La La Land WILL catapult your career to the next level. Get your shit straight, son!

As I had mentioned, I had a project that I had to work on yesterday, and actually rescheduled my flight to stay an extra day (although all my new friends were begging me to just stay and not go back, and I said to everyone, “I will be here full time shortly, I am too big for Philly, and NY isn’t where the action for movies and TV is”).
If NY isn’t where the action for movies and TV is, then why did you go to both an audition and a meeting in New York City (that you talked about in your March 3rd, 2010 blog post entitled “Secrets”)? Why did you brag and exaggerate about being on set with Angelina Jolie for “Salt” (it was filmed in NY, or did you forget about that)? If you delve into the comments section, you can find New Yorkers leaving remarks along the lines of “Stay the FUCK out of my city!”

The peeps at The CN referred me to a production company that was working with a premier front line cable network (Can’t release because of confidentiality but it’s big) on a “Docu-Style project focusing on up and coming artists in Hollywood, and what they are doing to make it” which will air in early 2010, and obviously with the unprecedented splash I have made here, they wanted to feature me in a segment. I taped all day yesterday, and as always I gave them a show of talent and abilities that they have probably never seen before, and I think the segment will be amazing.
Peeps at the Cartoon Network? It seems that being a friend of Kent Osborne has more perks than it appears! A big thanks to Kent who inadvertently made Kade a bigger laughing stock than he could have made himself on his own! It would also seem that, from Kade’s description, he was either in on the joke and didn’t reveal the fact that it was a punk’d-style show (so as to keep the punch line under wraps) or he actually believed that he was being interviewed as a celebrity and was dishing out quality advice to “Gary,” the aspiring actor (“aspiring” being the appropriate word here, since Kade was exactly that back when this was filmed and still is today).

Getting back to the “Arthur Kade’s TV Debut On Showtime’s Hit Show, LA LA Land (GawKade Covers The Brand Again)” post…

…needless to say, “The Journey” has taken the next step with Arthur Kade speaking in a TV Show, and doing it with such panache’ and grace that “The Biz” is saying today, “This kid is the real deal”
Unless ‘The Bland’ can produce a shred of evidence that ANYONE in “The Biz” is quoted as saying “This kid is the real deal,” I call bullshit. Also, why would they call you a kid? You are CLEARLY not as young as you claim you can look. Check out your comments once in awhile, Kade (and we know you do); there are those who say that you look to be about mid-40s (one commenter on your site said something to the effect that you’ve aged five years from the time you started your website back in February 2009 to February 2010). Judging from the lack of sleep, the constant partying, the unhealthy food and all the energy drinks, it would be quite the stretch of the imagination for someone in “The Biz” to call you a “kid.” (Unless they were referring to your mentality.)

“How cool would it be if I headlined 2 Hit shows on TV at the same time. I would be the “”Akon”" of TV and Film ((Because he is the only music artist to have 2 number 1 songs out at the same time in history)))”.
1. You don’t need those extra brackets, moron.
2. What other TV show, besides La La Land, are you referring to?
3. The “Akon” of TV AND film? When film is usually referred to, it’s in the context of movies. There is a difference between a TV show and a movie. Movies, by and large, are shown in theaters, whereas TV shows are featured on television. True, movies CAN be shown on television, but this is AFTER they’ve been played in theaters and been released on video\DVD\Blu-Ray. There are also such things as MOWs (Movies of the week) that are exclusively for TV; I can’t think of an MOW that’s been played in theaters. You have a lot to learn yet, jackass.

…may get an Emmy nomination in his first turn on TV because of what one fan called, “The most entertaining and funny thing I have seen on TV in forever”, and this will be an added step to opening doors to touching Lil’ Oscar like no one else ever has.
Once again, context, Kade, context; the fan may be thinking that it’s funny for reasons entirely different than what you perceive them to be. Also, concerning your statement about getting closer to “Lil’ Oscar”, I quote Joey Sweeney (editor from Philebrity.com) who said, “What happens to people when their reality shows end? Nothing.” Being on La La Land as yourself will NOT get you closer to an Oscar because you were NOT acting but being yourself. Other people may THINK it’s acting because (as has been said before) they can’t believe there’s such a fucknut out there who would think so highly of himself when they’re a relative unknown. So when people hear you making statements about being a celebrity and such, they may turn to their friends and ask, “Is this guy for real, or is he putting on a show? Is he an actor?” This is where some may get confused, especially if they see you on a show like La La Land because if they know that Mark Wootton is playing a character, they may become suspect as to just who else might be as well. If you’ve ever watched “Operation Repo” you might think the segments in that show are real, but they are not…they are re-enactments.
The visual medium of video is starting to make (at least) some of us wonder if what we’re seeing is real or scripted and is beginning to raise points of discussion around deception and ulterior motives (which can then branch off into propaganda, public relations and mind control). This brings up the questions that others have had in past posts about Kade being a real person versus Kade being a character created by Arthur Kadyshes. Some have sworn that Kade is real, and others have sworn the opposite. For a future LWK post, I would like to open up the floor to arguments presented by both sides: those who claim that Kade/Kadyshes is real, and those who have seen the many signs and hints that this is all simply an elaborate prank. And if this all IS just a prank, one must wonder how far Kadyshes will take this prank…

The Brand decided to watch his “Cherry Popper” by himself in Chateau Kade because I wanted to savor all of the hard work, the hours of practice on The Craft, the sacrifices of money, vagina, and life frills that it took to get to this moment, and I wanted to savor it with the one person I love more than anyone, Arthur Kade. I will let the vids below share my excitement and orgasm in watching myself finally reach the silver screen, and in less than a year of “The Journey”, the brisk pace with which Arthur Kade continues to achieve is unprecedented and unbelievable.
How very selfish of you! Could it be that Kade spent that time alone because his “Entourage” didn’t want to be seen with him? Oh sure, Teefs, The Gunt or Kang could have shown up, but the excuse of wanting to savor it alone fits perfectly as to why no one else is there to cheer at your TV debut.

Criticism of the February 25th, 2010 blog post entitled “A Day In The Brand’s Old Hood”:

Some Vids to show Kade Nation where the evolution of Arthur Kade as he gears up for the most important time in “The Journey” (Several of the BIGGEST Announcements of “The Journey” so far coming soon), and where “Hollywoods Newest Bad Boy” Came from:
- The words ‘Here are’ should start off this grammatical train wreck of a sentence instead of ‘Some’
- “vids” should not be capitalized,
- take out the word “where” in “Kade Nation where the evolution of”,
- the word ‘several’ should not be capitalized,
- the word ‘announcements’ shoud not be capitalized,
- it’s “Hollywood’s”, not “Hollywoods”,
- the word ‘came’ should not be capitalized

And you’re writing a Pulitizer prize-winning book? Your editor(s) will be pulling their hair out with pliers.

An interesting comment (by Tombstone on 26 Feb 2010 at 2:00 am) from this post is as follows:

Your grandmother’s tombstone says “Dora Segal”, you can see it at 0:53. It also mentions that this person was deceased in 1995, see 1:06. what gives?

There will be more on this later.

Criticism of the February 26th, 2010 blog post entitled “Behind The Scenes Of The Brand’s Interview With Social Branding Expert, Lewis Howes”:

What else is there to say about this post? It’s got the usual lies, exaggerations and delusions. It’s always a pain (for me, anyway) to watch any of his videos simply because I can’t stand the combination of his face and voice…especially if he’s looking directly at the camera and talking to it. Take those two things away and his videos might be more watchable.

Kade says that he doesn’t care what people think about him, but I seem to remember people posting comments in past blogs about his hair, clothes, smell, spittle (etc. etc.) and then seeing a picture (that Kade himself took) of mouthwash, deodorant and a few other things needed to maintain cleanliness and proper hygiene. I think he DOES care what people think about him, even if only a little bit. He’s still going to say and do what he wants, but I believe he is, at least, listening to the criticism. He also claims that he gets “hundreds and hundreds and hundreds” of comments every day. If one were to take a look at the comment counters, they would see that quite a few of his blogs get (on average) under 100 comments (not like the over-200 hate-filled comments that he used to get when he started “Duh Gurney”), so unless people are emailing him at his Kadeout email, I don’t understand why he would make a statement like that (he might be including the comments he gets on his Youtube videos, but those don’t add up to great numbers either).

Criticism of the March 1st, 2010 blog post entitled “The University Of Pennsylvania Releases An “Unauthorized Documentary” About Arthur Kade”:

First of all, why are all the words in the title of this post capitalized?

The Entourage and I were discussing my amazing 5 sexual conquests this week (5 different girls in 5 different nights…
I’m assuming that, by “sexual conquests” he means actual sex, which I call bullshit on. With “The Drought” having gone on as long as it has, methinks Kade would devote an entire blog post to the “amazing” sex he had (complete with video and pictures). This post would most likely be entitled “The End Of The Drought.”

…the Balls Ass Hot “Unauthorized Doc” (This is the short version of “Documentary” that we Crafters use) that has been created by one of the top 3-4 schools in the world, The University Of Pennsylvania...
According to TopUniversities.com (http://www.topuniversities.com/university-rankings/world-university-rankings/2009/results), the University of Pennsylvania ranks #12, but I can understand why you would want to compliment UPenn with such a high ranking in the first place. On 4icu.com, it sits at #7 (http://www.4icu.org/top200/). At the Academic Ranking of World Universities website (http://www.arwu.org/ARWU2009.jsp), the University of Pennsylvania comes in 15th place. Good try though, Fade! Anyone who can’t use a search engine would definitely believe you!

One of The Entourage said, “How many people in the world can say that an Ivy League school did a documentary on them”
Just because three students at that school got together and did up a 10-minute film on you DOES NOT MEAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSITY TOOK PART IN IT. It would seem to me that the three students who did the film were interested in (1) how your name was being thrown around, and (2) what the various forms of being “famous” are nowadays.

“I am one of the most fascinating, polarizing, charming, talented, and inspiring people ever created…
No, you’re a DICK who needs to be punched in the face by Maddox’s pirate character (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/bcitu_headbutt_1280x1024.jpg)

considering that some of the most brilliant people in the world are discussing ME, that’s pretty hot…
Yes, Ms. Hilton, it IS pretty hot. Care to name any of these brilliant people (but first, can you define the word ‘brilliant’)? Granted it takes brains to get into UPenn (someone call me out on this if they think I’m wrong), but don’t compliment them in that way simply because they’re genuinely curious about a human train wreck like yourself. Or are you simply returning the comment that Aymar Jean Christian made about you in his article? The reader can find it here:
http://blog.ajchristian.org/2010/02/26/fame-kade-style-anniversary-cut/

I was so wasted I had “Whiskey Dick” and couldn’t cumb if my life depended on it.
I’m glad you’ve embraced the (now infamous) spelling error you made awhile ago (that people pointed out right away) and are now using it on purpose, as if it’s all a big inside fucking joke. We’re still laughing AT you, though.

Another girl that I went home with and almost had sex with, texted me tell me I forgot my fedora at her house, and when I picked it up at her building, she packed my cookies in the bag…
You mean to say “texted me to tell me” and “packed cookies for me in a bag”, right? Yeah, more little inside grammar jokes from you to us. She baked you cookies? I wonder if she added some ‘special sauce’ or perhaps ground up some doggy dung to mix in. Good thing you shared by handing the deathtraps out to others or else you might have been the only one to get sick from them.

And a few more choice comments from Stumpy McCumDumpster concerning exaggeration:

when Arthur Kade hit the runway, the crowd erupted and you would have thought Bono or Sting got on stage, but they went even crazier when they realized that The Brand was carrying his camera and videoing the whole time while walking the runway (One Kade Nation Fan came up to me and said, “That was one of the coolest and most creative things I’ve ever seen. Your TV Show really will be one of the biggest things in the world”,

She was an amazing kisser although I wish her tongue was a bit smaller because it was slightly overpowering in my mouth), and when she found out I have a TV Show coming out, I think she almost came in her undies.

her mom and her blushed because of how good looking and charming Arthur Kade was, and her mom said, “That’s so flattering, but she’s only 16, but I’m her mother”, and at that point I could tell that her mom was hoping I would take her instead and “Kade” her, but the only way it would have happened was if the daughter was of age, and we had a threesome because she was way tooooo old.

If you can stomach it, watch the the video he’s talking about where he videos himself on “the runway” and tell me if “the crowd erupted”, because all I heard (besides the loud music) was about 5 people yelling upon seeing him…

I think I understand now why Kade posts so many pictures of himself with other people (who are more than likely complete strangers): he believes they are fans following “Duh Gurney.” Also, if someone questions his fame and popularity, he can simply say, “Go to my website and look at all the Gen Pop fans I have gotten photos with. I am Balls Ass Hot and they know it. They wanted to be seen with the Brand, and with the Amazing man that Arthur Kade is, I allowed them to be photographed with me.” He has gotten manipulation DOWN, folks! He can create an entire other world out of the one that we are all living in! It makes you wonder why he isn’t a campaign staffer in the public relations department of some weasely U.S. senator running for president, doesn’t it?

Concerning the documentary: I found it fascinating. However, I would like to respond to both Dan Lee‘s (“If you think he’s morally suspect or worse, then why continue to read his website, to create critical websites that ultimately promote The Brand?”) and Michael Serazio’s (“All these people who are just totally dissing him…it’s still proof, it’s still evidence that the game is taken. If you have haters, you’ve gotten big. Haters are a consequence of success.”) comments:

To Mr. Lee of Philadelphia Magazine:
Some people continue to read his website because it’s entertaining to watch someone degrade themselves without (much) help from anyone else (if he didn’t have his ‘Entourage’ enablers, that is). Some people like to hate. Some people are genuinely interested in where Kade will go and if he will succeed. I think, given enough time, other people will chime in with their own answers as to why they keep returning to his site. The LegoWigKade Blogspot was created, first and foremost, as a refuge from the actual arthurkade.com website. Some of us were tired of being censored by Arthur in the comments section and wanted a place to talk openly about anything we wanted concerning Arthur Kade. We wanted to expose the man behind the curtain (or the organ grinder, as some have said) and bring out all the ugly things that Arthur was trying to keep under the rug. This Blogspot has become a compendium of everything a Kater could want, all without the fear of censorship (if you look at some of the comments we receive, you can see that we have haters as well). Our job is to make people AWARE of Arthur, not to PROMOTE him. If we wanted to promote him, we’d be saying nicer things. True, we could simply ignore him, say nothing and go on with our lives, but sometimes, when one sees something that they feel is wrong, they must stand up and do something to combat it. That’s what we here at LWK are doing: fighting the good fight…and once Arthur is gone, so shall we be.

To Professor Serazio:
I do not agree that having haters makes one big or successful. I believe there are many people out there who are absolutely hated and, at the same time, largely unknown. Would you want to be famous for being hated or not want be known of at all (if those were your only two choices)? I think Kade is hated because of the things he says, how he views women and how big he tries to puff himself up to be; others call that (among other things) sad. So, with the sly smile you gave at the end of your statement, you may think that we here at LWK are inadvertently helping Arthur to become famous, but I assure you we are not. In fact, I hope many people who visit both Arthur’s site and ours never return to either again. As long as they’re aware of who Kade is and take the necessary steps to avoid him, we have done our job.

FAME: Kade Style (Anniversary Cut!) from Aymar Jean Christian on Vimeo.

Criticism of the March 2nd, 2010 blog post entitled “Amazing New Kade Nation Fan Vid”:

It’s interesting that, on this page (http://www.draftfcb.se/global/), the credits at the bottom of the poster for “the film” say this:

A PRODUCTION BY YOURSELF IN ASSOCIATION WITH YOUR COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET

PRODUCED BY A FLASH PROGRAM

No doubt the person who had one of Le Nostril’s headshots added to the film was simply doing this to goad him, egg him on, and/or make him think that he actually had “global influence” (or something silly like that). It wouldn’t surprise me that Kade may have made a comment to one of his Nontourage that he is really becoming famous now, what with the appearance on La La Land, the “Unauthorized Doc” and now this video. Get real, Kadester: three things a celebrity do not make. Oh sure, you could throw in being an extra, doing some runway stints for fashion shows, and being interviewed on radio (and TV) programs, but many other people have done all those things (and a whole lot more) and don’t consider themselves to be celebrities, actors, global icons, or all three of those things. Maybe it’s because you grew up poor that you think this way. I know I’m not the first one to tell you this, but being an actual celebrity (instead of the pseudo one that you are) takes a HELL of a lot more than what you’ve done so far…WAY, WAY more…and you have to be grown up to do it! No taking pictures of yourself in a bathroom giving some silly hand sign, no making bandwidth-wasting Youtube videos, AND NO KADE SCALE! You think you can become famous simply because you’re being honest about who you are and what you think? Get lost.

Finally….FINALLY, criticism for the March 3rd, 2010 blog post entitled “Secrets”:

The Brand remembers watching an interview by one of his amazing peers and fellow Crafters, Tommy Hanks…
The only person in “The Biz” that you should be calling ‘Tommy’ is Tommy Wiseau; you and that guy are a bloody car crash made in a Picasso-like heaven.

…now that I have gone through some of the most rigourous training to become an award winning actor imaginable (I was just at Papa Kade’s Hair salon getting my sideburns touched up, and telling my stepmom about all the girls I have been destroying lately, and Papa Kade came up to me and told me how a client told him, ‘I saw Arthur on Showtime, and although I hate that stupid show he was on, your son was brilliant and I loved him on it. He should really think about doing soap operas”)…
What rigorous training, exactly? (You spelled that word wrong, by the way, Mr. World Class Actor!) I’m sure your stepmom was thrilled to hear all about the girls you’ve been “destroying” lately. Did you tell her about the “incredible head” that another girl gave you to finish you off because she wasn’t on the pill? Must have made her heart SWELL with pride! You know, I don’t think doing soap operas is such a compliment. I’ve had the misfortune of sitting down to watch about 30 seconds of “The Young and the restless” and I wanted to kill myself, my mom for watching that shit, the writers, actors, crew and studio of that production for making such brain-draining bullshit. Still, I can’t see you being on a soap opera, Kade, because even YOUR acting is too unbelievable for such a production!

Sharon and The Brand have moved to really rounding him out, and I have developed 3 secrets that will help me mold Dan into a unique version of what he should be and they are:
They’re SECRETS! That means YOU KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF, just as you should have done with your delusional dreams of becoming an award-winning, Pulitzer prize-winning, balls-ass hot celebrity/model/global superstar! Why would you put the secrets about Dan on a public blog? What if your acting classmates (or your acting teacher, for that matter) are interested in following “Duh Gurney” and happen to discover your “secrets”? Oh no! Heaven forbid!

I wonder when one day an Oscar Winning movie is made about Arthur Kade’s Life, and assuming I don’t play myself, but someone like George Clooney or Russell Crowe plays me…
Yeah, right after they’re in a crippling car crash, they’ll be in the shape they need to play such a fool as you.

she suggested, “I think it would be interesting if you wrote down what you think those secrets are, because it may also help you find places inside as an actor that you can use for your upcoming roles…
That means she didn’t want to hear your bullshit (or, as one voicemail commenter said, "People are gettin' pretty bored of your bullshit.").

I was a finalist for a WB Mason commercial that was being filmed in Boston all next week with great pay and that I needed to head to NYC today for final audition, but they wanted Arthur Kade with long hair, and therefore was forced to pass…
There exist such things as wigs and they would have put you in one if they truly wanted you for the part. You remember wigs, right? You were wearing one in one of your 600-some-odd videos that I took a clip from for the intro to the 7-minute video I did on the absolute mess that is your life. It’s in your Kade Nation Fan Videos and features Fred Phelps as the main screenshot. I’m SURE you’ve seen it…

here are some of Arthur Kade’s “Secrets”:
1) He slept on a love seat for 5 years and developed scoliosis of the back because his Grandmother lost a boob to breast cancer, and because her boobs were so big, she couldn’t balance herself on her back so she slept on the couch next to him. Since he 6′2″ already, his legs from the knee down hung off the love seat.
WHY IN THE HOLY SHIT DO YOU KEEP REFERRING TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S BUSTY RACK? DON’T YOU REMEMBER HER FOR ANYTHING ELSE? WHAT KIND OF IMPRESSION ARE YOU TRYING TO INSTILL IN US BY SAYING SUCH THINGS ABOUT HER?

I would rather die than fail I what I believe in…
So die already! What’s all this delay for?

He has gotten three girls pregnant that he knows of, and none of them elected to keep the children because they felt that The Brand wasn’t mature enough to become a Papa Kade himself.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Those girls should be hailed as HEROES for electing to not bring one of your cracker spawn into this already fucked-up world!

He was the “Ugly Duckling” in high school until he became friends with the hottest girl at the school, and because every girl thought they were dating, they threw themselves at The Brand and it gave him the confidence to seduce thousands of girls from that point forward into hooking up.
I seriously fail to see how hanging out with the “hottest girl” (you’re probably calling her that simply because she hung out with you and you were SOOOO GRATEFUL that she befriended a loser like yourself; maybe she did it on a bet…) would make other girls throw themselves at you. I know that teenagers can sometimes be a little dim, but who in the fuck is actually that stupid?

Speaking of stupid, check out the taxi interview Kade did with “Saeed” (poor guy!):

Interesting comment from Kade’s post entitled “Secrets”:

‘In the 'Biz' on 03 Mar 2010 at 7:24 pm

Arthur,

The only thing that is fast rising in Hollywood right now is my lunch. You make me sick, you aren’t worth the time anymore… bet you’ve heard that QUITE a few times. You sick fuck for barebacking. I’ll bet you claimed ‘drought’ because you have something. A good friend of mine was pulling that same shit and his dick was dripping green goo. He had a smell about him that made cats howl. Familiar?

Math lesson! You’re HOW old? So if you’re 32 and your gran died when you were 20, that’s 12 years ago… 1998.

Dora Segal’s headstone says 1995. So what gives?

There have been commenters in the past (both on this Blogspot and Kade’s website) who have accused the Katers of hanging on Kade’s every word. We here at the LWK Blogspot must examine every one of Arthur’s statements and expose them for the lies that they are. We criticize his every word because of the amount of lying he has done in the past (and no doubt will continue to do in the future). We don’t “hang on” as if his statements are gospel; rather, we expose his fallacies every step of the way. So it’s not as if we’re checking his blog every hour (or even every day), but if we’re going to prevent this vapid mofo from sliming his way into any Hollywood limelight, we’ve got to document all his bullshit so that, even if he does erase it in the future, we’ve still got the proof of his own words (that will be his own demise).

Kade made some comment in the past about all his haters turning into hangers-on in the future if he makes it big; rest assured that neither will be the case. Even if Kade DOES happen to gain some kind of mainstream notoriety, the LegoWigKade Blogspot will NOT change its tune to “we were supporting him this whole time!” Considering all that he has said (and typed), we are against him, we laugh at him, and we hope that he falls deep into the darkness of obscurity. I myself am not trying to gain attention from this blog. As a matter of fact, I like this operation being the small-time show that it is because the less people who know about Kade, the better. On the other hand, I think the more people who discover Arthur Kade and read his tripe, the more likely those people will be turned off by him, become haters, or will never visit his website again and tell people to avoid anything to do with the person known as “Arthur Kade.” Being aware of his existence sometimes means that you can steer others away from getting to know him (kind of a “Move on, there’s nothing to see here” statement).

Are you trying to be the next Bill O’Reilly or what, Kade? How many haters do you want? When are you going to realize that some of the people who tell you they are following “Duh Gurney” are simply fucking with you?

Quick question: What happened to the commenter who went by the name of Team Noto?

A tip o’ the hat to the regular commenter English Gentleman (eg), who can describe something so disgusting in such graphic detail that it puts my writing style to shame. In honor of such a commenter, I hereby call Arthur a protracted cuntnoggin.

As a final note, I’d like to turn the reader’s attention away from Kade. If you have the time (a little over two hours), you should check out a documentary called “Sweet remedy: The world reacts to an adulterated food supply.” It has to do with the chemicals in our food nowadays and how they affect our bodies and our health.
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/sweet-remedy/

Also, for those of you interested in 9/11, Peak Oil, the drug war fueling the U.S. economy and other controversial topics, you should watch:

The Truth and Lies of 9/11
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=8797525979024486145

A Crude awakening: The oil crash
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-665674869982904386

COLLAPSE - Theatrical Movie Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAyHIOg5aHk

Fall of the Republic HQ full length version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VebOTc-7shU

I know this Blogspot is supposed to be entirely about Kade and his Nontourage, but once in awhile I think people should be turned on to other, more important things.

(The proper way to attain a SAG membership will be the first thing posted in the next blog – Thanks to schnitzel says radda radda said.)

Gutter Trash

2010-03-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

Three paths to becoming middle-aged gutter trash.

Left: Lindsay Furman, undereducated, low-self-esteem New Jersey spawn with a bad dye job and cheap clip on bangs who looks about 35 and dates a parade of loser guys (party promoters and the like).

Center: Arthur Kade, a.k.a. Lispy McSlobberfuck, mentally ill 32 yr old unemployed cokehead famewhore.

Right: Sabrina Strickland, former stripper, constantly in debt, gunt-having, dating fellow middle aged trainwreck w/ criminal record, Randy Wittenberg.

Three methods, one result. Gutter trash.

Above: a cockgobbling mental patient in his natural habitat.

Showtime, Kadester!

2010-02-23T10:59:00.000-08:00

To help spread Arthur's popularity, I've created the following video for the Gen pop in order that they may understand the greatness that now befalls them...

As for "Arthur Kade’s Massive “Write-Up” In The Philadelphia Inquirer", here is said "Write-Up" in its entirety:

Spoofed

Aspiring actor Arthur Kade appears Monday on the series La La Land(11 p.m., Showtime), giving career advice to a guy identified as Gary, a London cabbie who wants to become an actor. In fact, Gary is comedian Marc Wootton, who plays several characters, Borat-style, on the comedy. A video teaser has Kade - a Rittenhouse Square resident known for his braggadocio-filled blog posts - talking show biz with Gary in an L.A. sushi restaurant. "I wear tight jeans, I wear funky sneakers, but that's who I am, and I'm going to show the world," Kade says, before proclaiming that he has "unbelievable looks" and assigning a numerical rating to their waitress ("31/2 to 41/2"). See the clip at http://go.philly.com/kade.

Christ, even Bob Pantano got a 'bigger' write up! I guess Kade's so excited about getting *any* publicity that he'll exaggerate whoever publishes his name...

Then there's his take on how a bachelor party should be thrown (in the post entitled "Throwing A “Kade Style” Bachelor Party")...which is a fucking disgrace. He claims that he wrote it for a "local newspaper" (slow news day, methinks). Here are the highlights:

Like any high security, high-risk mission, make sure you select 5-7 of your top soldiers (Single men who have game and get laid all the time, or Married men who have no problem getting away from their wives and getting some side trim).

One of the key mistakes that most men make is staying in their own city for their bachelor party, which means friends have an excuse to roll early once they get drunk or don’t want to get caught or seen cheating by their wives or girlfriends...

Guys also relax more when they are out of town because “Whatever happens in another city, stays there”, so they will be more apt to throw down unlimited amounts of money, and participate in threesomes or Orgies upon request...

make sure you recruit the hottest strippers to join you for the party you’re going to throw. Tell them that they will be taken care of the whole night, and they will help attract smoking hot girls to wherever you are, or just have sex with you themselves. It is also great to build relationships with them for future visits, AKA Tiger Woods, so that they can become steady sex anytime you come into town.

...bring these girls back to a non-hostile group setting where you can continue drinking, and then once everyone is lit up and in a jovial mood, you can pick which girl or 2 that you like, disappear into one of the bedrooms and “Kade” them or have a monster threesome. It’s very tough to separate groups of girls when they are together at clubs in foreign cities, so having a HUGE impressive place to bring them back to will make them feel at home, and let you get into their private homes without them feeling like they are leaving their girls alone.

...make sure that you don’t bring any “Gifts that keep on giving Back” (Herpes, The HIV, etc.), so always make sure to wrap upon penetration because chances are that you will never see the person again that you have amazing sex with, and it will prevent arguments or questions from loved ones as to why you have to go to The Derm for a check-up. This is especially crucial for the Bachelor...

This, of course, is followed by a few videos (which will guarantee that people seeing him in person in the future will facepalm rather than shake his hand) and many pictures of an ultra-hot, super sick, ridic, balls-ass, hot-ass (blah blah blah) party, where Blasphemous McHeathen stands alongside women and plasters on his classic "I'm too cool to smile" face, as if the fashion show runway extends into the camera lens...and beyond.

Finally, in Kade's latest post (entitled "Selita Ebanks Birthday Brunch (Nick Cannon’s On Crack)", he again exaggerates about being anything more than a fame whore and ruminates on why he would choose Selita Ebanks over Mariah Carey, as well as bragging about how the party/brunch was so much cooler because of El Nostril's presence ("being the “Kade Style” star that he is").

Since this Legowigger resides in Canada and doesn't have access to either Showtime or cable TV (I'm a poor bastard, I know), can someone tell me what the hell this "ending that will be talked about in the annals of TV History as one of the funniest moments to ever happen with a celebrity like The Brand" was all about?

I can't be the only one to notice that the t-shirt ads have disappeared from his web site by now...can I? Does this mean no ad revenue for the Kade? Could it have something to do with having to claim any revenue made from the internet (whenever that was put into effect...recently, I think)?

BLAH BLAH Bland...

2010-02-17T22:15:00.000-08:00

So "",''',"#'"","'""',"'"The Journey"'',"'")''",''""':"""('''';""' is a year old, and it appears that Kade FINALLY got some lines in front of a camera, but these are not scripted lines, nor is he playing a character. As a matter of fact, he's being himself and having a conversation with an ACTOR who is PLAYING a character.
I have to give credit to the editors who did a good job of making it look like Kade can participate in a conversation; lots of cuts, though...I could see that the footage was jumping in at various parts of the conversation (as you may be able to tell by the continuity). I don't see this as being any different than Kade being invited on a radio show to explain his controversial point of view.

(If I do another Kade impression video, I'm going to have to get baked out of my mind on B.C. bud in order to mimic those droopy eyelids.)
I found it interesting in that the dialogue between the two of them moves along quickly (then again, to keep the audience interested, they have to). Amazin-guh-ly enough, his lisp IS toned down...but I could still hear it lithping through. I also didn't hear a lot of the little annoying comments that he usually makes in his other videos, but again, that's a matter of editing.

With all of the success that Arthur Kade is having as an International Superstar and celeb, I’m sure that Alec would really relish the opportunity to sit down face to face and give back to one of “Young Hollywood’s rising stars”, and help a career blossom into the rose that it needs to become. According to the Oxford dictionary of current English, third edition (2001), 'international' is firstly defined as "existing or occuring between nations." I agree with that: Arthur is hated in the United States, Australia, England and Canada. Therefore, I would change his title to "Internationally hated famewhore and wannabe celeb," but this is nothing new to the audiences of either website (ours or his). Christ, Kade! Your shit is so stale that I'M starting to repeat myself!

(Interesting side note regarding Alexa.com: I could not get an idea of how many hits Kade's site has had in the past month because "Historical data not available for sites ranked > 100,000." KADEFAIL and LEGOWIGWIN!)

“Every man wants to take a stripper out of the hood and turn her into their “”Pretty Woman”". That's DEFINITELY not true! And who says the stripper would want that for herself? What if she's perfectly happy being a nasty hoebag? It could have been her life's DREAM, man! You want to take that away from her? Your cruelty knows no bounds, NoseBlade. That reminds me: how's Sabrina Strickland doin' these days?

I was even thinking about inviting Danny Day Lewis (One of my all time fave Crafters who has worked with the best, and whom Arthur Kade has studied at nauseum to perfect some of his techniques and invisibilities) to come on my show in the first season to help revive his career a bit, and show a lighter TV Side that “The Biz” has never seen before while also connecting him to my generation. Mr. Day Lewis is definitely a top-notch actor, but even a guy as nice as him wouldn't appear on your show (you'll never have one) because he would laugh himself right out of that chair and the studio the instant you opened your mouth and started spittling all over his trousers, ya goofy fuck. Plus, even though the man doesn't make movies every year, it doesn't mean his career needs reviving. He's such a good actor that he can afford to do a film only once every few years and STILL be admired by everyone else in the industry. Finally, the guy's already connected to the current generation: Kelis and the word "milkshake" (have a look on Youtube once in awhile).

(I can’t wait to meet fellow Sexaholic, Dave Duchovny, at one of our company parties and talk about how to break the habit) So THAT'S what your book is going to be about! "How to avoid having sex altogether" by Athur Kade sounds like a blast of a title. Well, not a BLAST, but enjoyable....no, not that either. How about pleasant? No, one look at your face and "pleasant" is the LAST thing to come to mind (unless we add a line from Eric Blair's, AKA George Orwell's, novel, 1984: "Imagine a boot stamping on a human face...forever"). You know what? I hope you DO meet David Duchovny, I hope he's been warned about you, and I hope he cuts you off when you start spittling off at the mouth to him and has you thrown out of whatever place you're in like a drunken bastard...then he has his burly security guards beat you into a paralyzed state...then he pounds some women in front of you as you're lying on the pavement, drooling blood and excess spittle...then the women do a snowball A.T.M....your mouth, specifically.

I am now questioning my choice in going short, and would also love Kade Nation’s feedback on whether I should grow my hair out again so that I resemble more of a Greek God? DEFINITELY grow your hair out. It will make the morphing transition from your current cranial mop-mess to Super Saiyan easier. Then you can be in videos like this one:

I told a girl last night, “I look so hot on TV that I would have sex with myself”, and she said, “I think you would have sex with yourself anyway”. Of COURSE Junky McHydrantgrinder masturbates! He probably uses his own tears as lube because he has angered (and turned off) so many women that he would have to drop such a powerful drug cocktail into a girl's drink that it would stun a wooly mammoth.

the level of articulation and intelligence that I naturally show impressed even me. Like I said before, it's called "editing," fuckhead. They do that because showing the entire scene between you two, uncut, would have been so long, boring and filled with awkward silence that the audience might have mistaken it for you trying to pick up a woman in a mortuary waiting room while trying to eat Chinese take-out with a spoon.

the cast of Jersey Shore are HUGE fans of “The Journey” already. Oh yeah, that's it! Douchebags who want to emulate a douchebag. I'm going to guess that if any one of them visited your site and read some of your blogs, they would come to the conclusion that you're a loser, a douche, or both, and then go back to tanning and grooming themselves. It would be absolutely priceless if they, as douchebags, called you a douchebag. Could you not see the absolute beauty and humor in that? Probably not. You'd most likely call them "hacks" or something. By the way, Kevin Brueck wants to know how it feels that "You are never EVER EVER going to be famous. Ever." (Kevin's latest comment on Turdbag's Youtube page.) Can you fill the Gen Pop in on that?
And do NOT think that your appearance on "La la land" is going to make you famous. Quite a few of the comments that I've seen on your blog have people hurling insults at you and then saying that they're never coming back. Famous, you are not.

Also, Any Long Time Kade nation Member will remember my hair cut 6 months ago that was short and forward that fans thought resembled a Lego Figure and now in this month’s InTouch Mag, all my celeb counterparts are copying it…Arthur Kade is always ahead of the fashion curve (Pic and Vid Below). "shit she disappeared" was NOT a fan and is not now (welcome back, by the way; I saw your comment in a recent post). So you, myself and the admins here at LWK, and InTouch magazine should be praising "shit she disappeared" for their brilliant commentary on yet another chapter of your laughable life. I would also like to extend thanks to Matt Beauchamp for his Cliffs Notes post, which allowed me to find the first reference to 'lego wig.' You can visit Matt's post here or see the comment here. (Sorry Matt, I couldn't post the screengrab of HotOrNot because it's not a picture file....either that or I'm a moron.)

Regarding your intro to two of your videos ("The Celebs Copy My Hairstyle" and "Johnny Weir"): you're ACTUALLY in those places? I mean, REALLY actually? For real? No way! Like, totally? You're so, like, totally, actually there, and stuff? OMG! Actually? Really and truly?
Why in the holy shit would you have to say that you're "actually" anywhere? Are you accidentally exposing another one of your stupid verbal habits (another being the use of "amazing"), or are you intentionally creating something new for us to feed on?
You know what, Kade? I wish your spinal cord was as flexible as that of a cat's. Why, you may wonder? Because then someone could run up behind you, hit you in the backs of the knees (causing you to fall onto your back), then they would rip your pants off while one of their buddies holds you down and crams a bottle of X-lax into your greasy mouth and compresses it like a Yop (from Yoplait) bottle, shooting that nasty laxative liquid down your gullet, then the guy who tripped you would bend your torso over so your nasty ass would be pointed directly at your face....and then your own chocolate mountain would suffocate you.

On a completely unrelated note:
On December 23rd, 2009 we posted the “Arthur Kadyshes, Creepiness, Coke, and Face Rape” (http://legowigkade.blogspot.com/2009/12/arthur-kadyshes-creepiness-coke-and.html) and linked to a blog by a Philly girl who wrote this article (http://sweetlifeconfidential.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/weiner-of-philly-the-face-raper/). Recently, she did a post for aroundphilly.com about Philadelphia’s Cocaine Culture. You can read more about it here (http://www.aroundphilly.com/cocaine-culture-in-philly-philadelphia-visit/a-5639)

Lastly, I know it's late to be saying it, but a big THANK YOU to ArturdTheZero for coming out of their coma and insulting ol' Arturd in the way that only he can!

Celebrating A Year In Obscurity - The Bland's Journey Turns One

2010-02-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

Well folks, Arthur Kade's quest to become the most famous and talented actor in the world has just turned a year old, and what a year it's been. Arthur has put up a new post reflecting on his year, and it's honestly sad to see what he considers to be his high points, because most of them are lies, or are just plain stupid.

Even more hilarious, though, is that the fact that after a year of attempting to become an actor, he has still not spoken a single word in any production. He spends his days trolling Actor's Access, by himself like thousands of other "actors," many of which I imagine are much more successful than he is. The most he has to his name are a few extra spots on some movies and tv shows - things that his often-despised "Gen Pop" doesn't even pay attention to. It's so funny to think that Arthur really believes that, as an extra, possibly in a scene that he may be visible for a nanosecond, he is adding something huge to the project. Witness this item from his "best of year one" list on the new post:

In working with some of the top acting teachers and talent judges in Philly, NYC, and KA, it is widely regarded that Arthur Kade has raised his abilities in Film/TV Acting and The Craft to award winning levels already, and this has led to him working on hit projects in Film and TV WITH fellow Crafters like Angie Jolie, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Alec Baldwin, and Dev Patel, and has become one of “The Fastest rising actors in Young Hollywood”. This has taken hundreds of hours of pain staking preparation and behind the scenes practice as well as a drive for excellence to become the greatest and most decorated actor in American History. Despite all the fame, future eight figure paychecks, and celebrity benefits that I already get, the end goal of “The Journey is to touch Lil’ Oscar and bring him home to enjoy for years to come.

Notice the word "WITH" bolded above. He was an extra on movies or shows involving these actual actors. He has the nerve to lie and suggest he worked with them individually, when all he did was stand somewhere like dozens or hundreds of extras on the same production. And about those top acting teachers and talent judges? Arthur, if you were so good then why aren't you an actor? Why have you not had a speaking role in a single scene in a single production yet? Finally, doesn't one have to have acted in a Hollywood production to call oneself a member of "young hollywood?" Even better - doesn't one have to ACTUALLY BE YOUNG to be a part of "young hollywood?" Being 32 years old, and looking like a 40 year old doesn't get you into this category.

There's one thing we do give Arthur credit for: he sure is dedicated to getting attention. The entire last year of his life has been so completely about his need for attention, and so much less about his dream of becoming an actor. He is so wrapped up in gaining any semblance of attention that he's willing to make a fool out of himself constantly even to receive negative attention. He fails to see that radio shows interview him because he's a once-in-a-lifetime absurdity (and even that's a stretch - a new idiot is born every day!) and he's stupid enough to think that Philadelphia Magazine is an "internationally read magazine," and not simply a local publication in the 5th largest market in the United States.

We completely expect more of the same for the next year. What else is there to expect? An actual TV show? A book that will never get published? Some casting director clueless enough to give an ugly, lisping, hyperactive and unprofessional asshole a single word in a movie? Face it Kade, when this time rolls around next year - that is, if you're not committed to an insane asylum before then - we can guarantee ourselves that it will be much like this past year: the posts about parties and girls you didn't have sex with will outnumber posts about acting 12 to 1.

It's just so sad that a person goes to bed each night dreaming about winning acting awards, and "practicing it [Oscar acceptance speech] everyday while I’m walking or driving," yet has absolutely no self awareness to realize how totally unreachable that goal really is.
Finally, Arthur, this list is for you. We feel like you need to be reminded of some of the actual truths about why you will not be an Oscar winning actor, or, even an actual actor at all.

You still have a lisp.
You still have acne.
In person, people say you look like you're in your early 40s.
Your hygiene is the only "third world" aspect of your existence.
You're just not dedicated to acting; you're dedicated to attention and partying.
You have very few friends left. Your "entourage" usually just consists of you, all alone.
You don't realize that people read your blog because they hate you, your YouTube videos rarely receive more than one star, and the comments say it all: PEOPLE HATE YOU!
You don't have millions of fans; at best you have a few thousand people who read your site, again, BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU, and your stupidity and idiocy helps many people feel really good about their successful lives.
You live alone, with barely any furniture, and you live like a pig.
You hate everyone but yourself.
Your therapy is obviously not working.
You lie about every aspect of your life, because you know your life is worthless, and lying is the only way you can be somebody.
You're not a good Jew; you only use your religion for for attention.
You really, really freaked the fuck out when the legowigkade blog started up - we still laugh at that: a supposed A List movie star reduced to moderating his own blog, and copying comments from legowigkade because people were leaving you in droves. You were so afraid, and so immature! We still laugh at that often.
You accost total strangers for photos, many of whom are never high enough in the Kade scale, this contradicting your bullshit claims that you only associate with attractive people.
Pay attention here: YOU HAVE NO ACTING TALENT WHATSOEVER. THE END.

User-submitted links

2010-02-14T13:10:00.000-08:00

This post is a dumping ground for all the dirty little things out there about Arthur, his friends and family that they would rather you not know about.
The court case of Leonard Kadyshes (PDF)
http://www.aopc.org/OpPosting/CWealth/out/327CD06_1-25-07.pdf

Sabrina Strickland’s criminal docket on drug charges
http://ujsportal.pacourts.us/docketsheets/CPReport.aspx?matterID=103766164

Leonard Kadyshes and Raya Yukhimov arrest records for criminal theft
http://ujsportal.pacourts.us/DocketSheets/CPArchiveReport.aspx?matterID=16984467

Arthur Kadyshes owes the IRS
http://webapp.montcopa.org/PSI/Viewer/Detail.aspx?oq=aWQ9MjAwNjcwMDkyJmVudGl0eT1DYXNl

Birthday: May 16, 1978 (an article in Phillymag noted that he turned 30 in 2008, and a blog post pinpoints his actual birthday being May 16th, so he will be 32 in the year of our lord, 2010).

You can reach Artshitz at

(215) 350-0539
To send fanmail: (don't know the apt # so just address it to Arthur Kadyshes):
444 N 4th St.
Philadelphia, PA 19123
(same building as one of his former enablers/roommates, Ron Hansen, of WOT Marketing)

I know there's more out there that I've forgotten about. Leave the links in the comments section and I will add them to this post. Happy hunting!

P.S. When useful comments have been added to this post, they will be deleted. This is not to offend those who commented, this is simply to avoid repetition. Many apologies to future contributers.

Katchin-guh up with Kade.

2010-02-13T20:21:00.000-08:00

With the exception of 3 videos, all of the “Kade Nation Obsession Videos” are simply videos that have been uploaded to or are favorited by the LegoWigKade Youtube channel. It doesn’t upset me that he has done this. Why? Because he WANTS to upset me.
What a loser this guy is, thinking that videos in which Kade is criticized and made fun of are “Obsession” videos. I’m telling you right now Kade, they’re NOT. We don’t have to be obsessed with you in order to hate you (or think that you’re a douchebag). Making videos about you is simply another way of stating that we think you suck dead donkey balls, nothing more. I’ve uploaded five videos that are about you, and I don’t give you more thought in a day than I would when passing gas, so there goes your “Obsession” theory. I know you’re trying to piss us off with things like the new tab, but in actuality it has no effect. What would make us ALL hopping mad, I think, is if you actually succeeded in acting, authoring and modelling…and I have no doubt that you’re trying as hard as you can, but all we see is FAIL and your attempt to mask it by either (1) whitewashing it, (2) claiming it’s all in good fun, or (3) labelling it as “fan” material. We will hate on, undeterred by your silly commentary and pranks, until you are no more than a sniffling, smelly trash bag of a human, dragging his depressed self down a dark alley…torn dress shirt in one hand…handgun in the other…tears in your eyes, blood in your hair, a look of despair under those droopy eyelids…until you collapse against a wall, slide down into a pile of trash, press the barrel of the gun into the upper part of your throat, close your eyes, and whisper, “Kade style.” BOOM.

As for his latest interview (this one with “The Kyle and Jackie-O Show”, another Australian radio program), I haven't listened to it and I won't bother linking to it. There's no point. I truly feel that it'll be the same bullshit that other radio DJs have done to death: either puffing Kade up by pretending to compliment him (and joking about it later), or asking him 'amazin-guh' questions because they can't believe a human being could be so open about being such a fuckhead. He really is cannon-fodder for slow news days and people who feed off of insulting others....like myself and the commenters of this blog!

"In the meantime, this weekend is one of my most hated being Valentine’s Day because it truly symbolizes the lonely and hard path that I have chosen in being a worldwide celeb..." - Celebrities, great actors and otherwise famous people are almost NEVER alone on a day like Valentine's day; you, however, are because of your 'Kade scale', your general douchiness/annoyingness, and your combination spray-mouth and compost aroma. Oh sure, you'll probably brag about hooking up with more hot 9s and 10s, and although none of us would ever want to see a video (you will most likely shoot yourself), we here at LWK say, "Prove it." And just so you're aware: asking girls to kiss you on the cheek DOES NOT COUNT.

"but being the most famous bachelor and “Favorite Son of Philadelphia”, I will be making a celebrity appearance (My celebrity hosting appearance is written about in the Philadelphia Daily News by Celeb/Gossip Writer, Dan Gross using the term “God’s Gift To Women” ((Vid and Pix Below))) and hosting a singles party at the Balls Ass Brand new casino in Philadelphia, Parx, and it’s ultra exclusive lounge, 360, on Saturday, and I’m sure that Gen Pop girls will be lining up at my table and at the door to meet The Brand in person, and perhaps have me do shots of their chest so they can brag to their boyfriends and husbands or even dads about doing that with an Oscar/Emmy winning actor." - You know the drill folks....LIES AND FAIL! Get it straight, Dumb McAss, the correct sentence would be "hosting a singles party at the Balls-ass hot brand new casino in Philadelphia (Parx) and its ultra-exclusive lounge..." God DAMN you suck at this! You're HOW OLD, and you STILL don't proofread?

"I will be taking a stretch limo with members of The Entourage to the event..." - Question about your 'Entourage', Arthur: are they Gen-pop? If so, why are you hanging out with them? If they're not, then surely they must be celebrities or highly successful people, no?

"It is moments like this where I realize that Arthur Kade is a god amongst the Gen Pop in that he is making his mark all over the world as an actor and author, and yet still able to focus on the small things that will make him one of the greatest and most inspiring actors of a lifetime." - Oh, you're making your mark all over the world, all right: as one of the most hated fucking people that nobody knows! Why didn't you capitalize the word 'God' in that sentence? (I think any good Jew would have.) One thing's for sure, Arthur: you inspire us to be better people: you inspire me to proofread before I post; you probably inspire young actors to practice their craft constantly so they don't suck like you do; you might even inspire some of the people out there who hate you to start training and taking martial arts classes so they can beat the life out of you with more skill and confidence. However, if you were thinking in terms of inspiring people to be like you and live a balls-ass hot life...you're wrong.

It's interesting to note that it's snowing heavily in Philadelphia, yet in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada (2-3 hours from Vancouver, where the Olympic games are being held), snow had to be trucked in from elsewhere. One might think that, with the stereotypes about Canada, we'd have plenty of snow to host the WINTER GAMES, alas, we don't. An interesting little tidbit for all you Americans who may have been told by a Canadian that snow blankets the country 24/7/365...it doesn't.

Speaking of snow...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He reminds me of a fat kid that's trying to act tough in front of skinnier kids, what with the clenched teeth and "I will kill you!" remark. F-U-C-K-I-N-G L-O-S-E-R. How could ANY girl in Philadelphia, after seeing this video, have any possible desire to get with him in ANY capacity? What's the appeal? The interest? What is WRONG with those women?

The word 'stupid' comes to mind, and so does a documentary called, aptly, "Stupidity":
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3551422786825163764
It's an hour long, and somewhat interesting. Former President of the American Pyschological Association, Robert J. Sternberg, had this to say in the documentary:
“When you’re talking about people doing the kinds of stupid things like you’d see at Enron, they commit four fallacies.
They’ve been so rewarded in their lives, that they become very focused and centered on themselves, and they stop caring about outcomes for other people.
The second fallacy is what I call the Omniscience fallacy, and that is most of these very smart people surround themselves by sycophants. They start to think they know everything. So, part of wisdom is knowing what you don’t know. These people, instead of becoming wise, become foolish.
The third fallacy is what I call the Omnipotence fallacy. They start to think they’re all powerful, and they start acting as though they can do anything they want.
And the fourth fallacy is what I call the Invulnerability fallacy, and that is, they start to think they’re Superman.
So if you put those four fallacies together, what can happen is that very smart people start to do incredibly stupid things.”

Might this sum up Kade's behavior, or at least account for some of it?

I haven't commented on Kade's "acting ability" as of late, but I recommend that he be cast in the next Tommy Wiseau film (Tommy directed the laughably bad film, ‘The Room’). I saw a comment on one of the videos that said something along the lines of Tommy marketing the film as serious, but after he read some of the reviews citing how horrible the critics thought it was and how many people were laughing at it, he changed his tactics and started saying the film was intentionally made to be bad.

Here's an interesting comment from the last blog post:

Get Kade banned from the G Lounge by emailing them at cs@thebestlounge.com. See if they like all the negative things that he posts and videos in their establishment.

Great idea! People spoke up and sent emails to the hotel that Kade was staying at in Miami when he filmed people at the pool (a violation of the hotel's rules), so why not continue the tradition?

Finally, if anyone would like to contribute a guest post to this blog, or have a picture they'd like to see as the banner for this site, by all means, email it in to legowigkade@gmail.com

The Bland and his FAIL Nation...

2010-02-09T23:17:00.000-08:00

From the “30 rock” blob…

“As A rising celeb, and future Oscar/Emmy Winner…” – Bullshit.

“…you get the ability to choose which amazing projects you get to work on…” – Horseshit.

“…and which ones don’t make that much sense for your resume or image…” – Goatshit.

“…Arthur Kade has had the opportunity to work with fellow Crafters and stars like Angie Jolie, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, and Luis Garcia…” – Chicken diarrhea.

“…has been building a Hit TV Show with IMG Media, and authoring a NY Times Bestselling book with Trident Media Group while ascending through classes and sessions with world class teachers (I have actually been debating contacting the Julliard School in NYC about taking some part time classes just to put on my resume, or even teaching courses in regards to Authoring or Creative Thinking), and lately I have been turning down working on movies or TV Shows in order to prioritize and focus on Sundance and the TV Show that will turn Kademerica upside down, and revolutionize television, “The Journey”, and “The Biz” forever.” – Facepalm, kick 2-year-old boy in the junk, murder elderly nun with scythe, light fluffy cat on fire and toss into designer furniture store soaked in gasoline….man! You are a world-class laughing stock! Psychiatrists are using your blog as a model by which to measure craziness; your name has been added to the mental disorder terminology between “batshit insane” and “eats own poop as part of committed recycling program.”

“…allow me to work with one of my fave fellow Crafters, Alec Baldwin” – Which you did not 'work with', did not talk to, and were at least 7 feet away from. TAKING A PICTURE SURPRISES ME IN THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO DO SUCH AN UNPROFESSIONAL THING AND REMAIN ON SET. Those PAs must have been real busy to not tell a scumbag like yourself to erase that picture from your cellphone. Why didn’t you use your balls-ass hot Powershot camera to do the job, dickwink?

“…I will make sure I look very glamourous and elegant, and perhaps the director will see how Arthur Kade sticks out from the crowd, and even change the scene to feature me more in it, or even ask me to deliver lines.” And I quote Mike Myers when I say, “Riiiiiiiiiight.” It’s possible that extras can be given a line or two, but seldom does it happen, and there are at LEAST a few papers to sign before you do so. Productions are allotted only so much in the way of time and money, so if they give someone (ANYONE) a line, they’re damn sure about it…and seeing that you were NOT given a line, it means they were SURE you weren’t going to be given a line….because you suck…balls….dead ones….in the Mojave….in July….right before you fry….and die….so good-bye…

“It will be an amazing experience regardless…” – That’s a good cover, in case you, y’know, AREN’T ASKED TO DELIVER LINES OR GET CLOSE TO "FAVE FELLOW CRAFTER ALEC BALDWIN."

"In the meantime, I have begun to work with Sharon on getting ready to play Dan from the movie “Closer” who is an obituary writer who seeks passion and romance through different girls, but is very depressed with his own lack of success professionally and feeling of being unable to get close to anyone in my new Theater class." – Wait a minute, I’ve seen “Closer”, so tell me: at what point EXACTLY does Jude Law’s character (Dan) become depressed from being unable to get close to anyone in Arthur Kade’s new Theater class? Hey, that’s the way you worded it! Read it again:

“…Dan from the movie “Closer” who is an obituary writer who seeks passion and romance through different girls, but is very depressed with his own lack of success professionally and feeling of being unable to get close to anyone in my new Theater class.”

Perhaps you meant to say that you were trying to identify with Dan’s feelings of depression with your OWN depression of not being able to get close to ANYONE (meaning men or women) in your new Theater class, yeah? Those are two different kinds of depression, Choadster McWankslapper, and you would be deceiving the audience if you were using your form of depression in place of Dan’s. You have to connect to Dan and where he’s coming from in order to find out why he feels that way at that point in time. Maybe you could use your OWN lack of success? It seems to be apparent…

“…something happened this morning that really bummed me out, and helped me find those feelings so that I could begin finding the sadness and innate despair that character shows while searching for love and professional growth…” – Oh, good! It seems as though I spoke too soon. Hopefully more ‘Anti-Kade’ things happen that bum you out!

“I am also working on another HUGE Announcement for “The Journey”…” – Zounds! Yet another ““““““““FEATURED BACKGROUND”””””””””” ““““““““ROLE””””””? Oh goody!

Regarding your “School Kid Interviews A Failed Novelist” video (why is every letter capitalized, fuckwad?): the character is always doing something before the lines begin. In some cases, the first few lines interrupt whatever they’re doing. You failed to do that. You sat there and WAITED for the scene to start. Also, I don’t know about you, but starting with more energy and then eventually slowing it down when ‘truth time’ comes would have brought more of a dynamic to the scene. But I’m sure you knew that, because you’re a Celebrity who has Balls-Ass Hot Talent.

No pictures will be reposted from this blog because they’re the same old tired shit of food, Kade poses, and strangers.

From the “Kade Rock” blob:

“After an amazingly successful and interesting featured background appearance…” – Oh YEAH! I’m SURE they rolled out the red carpet for you, Mr. Extra! Fuck, even Drew (one of our regular commenters) would have gotten more of a welcome on CSI because of how much LESS of an annoyance he is to humanity (meaning he has 0% annoyance appeal to the Gen Pop, while you have 100% of that same appeal). Drew: you rock. Kade: you suck.

“…everyone is talking about Alec and Liz ((Elizabeth)) Banks being in the episode that we were featured in, and yet Arthur Kade is about to become Hollywood Royalty and probably be competing with Alec for Best Male In A TV Show At The Emmys soon…” – Why didn’t you shorten his name to ‘Lec’ like you did Liz’s, Humpless McHosebag? Baldwin, as far as I know, talked about LEAVING acting, so I doubt you’ll be competing with him because:

#1: He’d be long gone by the time your “Hollywood Royalty” hide got to the Emmy’s.
#2: You’ll never get to the Emmy’s. Hell, you’ll never get to the bathroom in a nightclub because management would have closed it down so you wouldn’t be able to ‘Kade’ some drugged-out (that’s your M.O.) skank in there!

“As soon as The Brand arrived, we went to wardrobe and got cleared in make-up…” – Yeah, that’s what ALL extras have to do (after you let the 3rd A.D. know you’ve arrived, of course), so don’t be thinking you were ‘whisked’ over there like a Celebrity…because you’re clearly NOT.

“…sat down next to, and started talking to the hottest, and within 5 minutes had the NYC 9.4’s number…” – That reminds me of some prank number that girls were giving guys a few years ago. If you called the number, you got an answering machine message that went something along the lines of, “Whoever gave you this number obviously doesn’t want you to have their real number, so how does it feel to be a complete loser to be duped by a machine…” I’ll bet you got that kind of number, or maybe she gave you a name like Sadie, and the number of a Transvestite Escort Service (where, coincidentally, ‘Sadie’ – the biggest skank tranny there – was waiting for your call, tipped off by the NYC 9.4). You never know! Conspiracies CAN be that extravagant!

““Excuse me. Are you SAG?”, and The Brand responded, “I’m SAG Eligible”, and he said, “You can’t be in this area”,” – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..that is all.

“We kept talking, but it was never the same and then when she got up, I saw the size of her ass, and she went from an NYC 8.4 to an NYC 7.8 which meant that I didn’t want to have her anyway.” – WHAT the HELL is wrong with you? I’m a white man, and even I know you do NOT pass up the big-bootied girls. You’re a complete fool. COMPLETE. That poor Bosnian girl! How DARE you! May you die in a fire…that she set….after having her Bosnian friends club you into paralyzation with batons…and then she swings that big booty at your face and breaks that pelican-sized snout of yours. Fuck yeah.

“In holding, there was a group of Gen Pop actors who started playing guitar and singing songs (See Vids Below) that were annoying everyone, but it was like watching a ritualistic bonding experience occurring in the wild that only Crafters like us can ever understand or interpret.” – So it was ANNOYING, yet in the video, you were trying to sing along….even though you had no idea what the fucking words were. It’s a shame the guitarist didn’t break that thing over your stupid fucking face, you dumb fucking fuckhead. Fuck yourself with a claw hammer.

“The extra sitting next to me who kept asking me for my camera so he could watch the vids I was filming…” – No, he wanted to smash the thing directly in front of you, and then everyone in the room would point and laugh at you while the ‘extra’ would be hoisted onto the shoulders of others and paraded throughout the set like the king he would be.

“I was a bit sad that I didn’t get any alone time with Alec or Tina…” – HA! I’m sure they were, too…..BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Keyboard cat should have played you off at that point.

“…when Crafters like us are working, we are totally focused on creating a crazy awesome product for the Gen Pop…” – Right, right right, I’m sure that’s EXACTLY what Mr. Baldwin was thinking. “I sure hope we’re creating a crazy awesome product today…” No, I’m sure someone of Mr. Baldwin’s calibre would have thrown in “Balls Ass Hot”, because that’s how A-List Celebrities roll, righty-o, Fadester?

“…so that when I am rapping with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and they are telling me about how Suri got her first period…” - …..you fail….at life...forever more.

In his video entitled “The Usual Suspects” (which I call “Kade the Pathetic), you get three *PERFECT* reactions to being around this Klown all day in extra’s holding. I reproduce them here because they are so honestly and brilliantly done. If these three guys ever find this blog and want their pictures taken down, that’s fine&fair to me, but I’m posting them because these men suffered what the rest of us could probably not stand without resorting to extreme violence, and the LegoWigKade bloggers salute them...

As usual, his blog ends with more pictures that are simply a waste of bandwidth (nothing against Alec Baldwin, Elizabeth Banks, the crew or other extras).

From the “Perfect On Paper” (WHY ARE THOSE WORDS...aside from the first...CAPITALIZED??????) blob:

More lies, delusions and exaggerated hype from Dumbass Mcspittleboard: apparently he was talking to a Philly 9.3, and at some point she said, “I could never date you because of what and who you are.” Good for you, honey; you sound like you’ve got a brain in your head. Arthur, you probably have no idea what she meant, even though people have commented thousands of times in previous posts exactly what she hinted at.

I’m surprised at how nice some women appear to be in America; I mean, if they put up with this sprinkler-mouth (who probably sprays himself with “Eau de garbage dump” before going out) for a few minutes before staggering away, they’ve GOT to be decent people! You know what I mean?...Well, either decent or gullible, but they come to their senses eventually.

“…how can I really have a girlfriend now unless she is into threesomes and orgies and will allow me to experiment with and without her while I live in KA or NYC…” – Preserved for sheer ass-hattery.

“I told her, “I am not perfect on paper…” – You’re not perfect on a computer screen, either. Far from it, actually! You’re as far from perfect as Tom Petty is from looking anything else but stoned.

I wonder how many older women read either Kade’s site or this one. If there are any, could you wonderful ladies do me a favor and spread Arthur’s name around at your next tea party or social gathering? I don’t mean to say that you should inform everyone of his Italian-like looks or his grandiose, controversial blog posts…I mean talk shit about the fucker, drag his name through the mud, and get feminists so pissed off that they forget their common sense and try and mail bombs to the guy. It’ll be great! Some trophy wives out there must be bored to tears; I’m sure they’ll spend some time laughing heartily at Arthur’s site and then call female friends of theirs in Philadelphia (one of whom will throw a drink at Arthur and attempt to punch the crap out of him in a nightclub); it will be swell!

Mr. Should-have-been-a-Blumpkin then delves into the traits that his “Perfect On Paper” girl would have. I will reproduce only what is offensive to fellow commenters, women and the rest of humanity:

“…although this can be great for easier access in tight situations for amazing Oral Sex (On a Plane for instance), I fell like I am hooking up with Snookie from Jersey Shore and it makes me fell like I am enjoying something less than…”

“…if you were to put a graph or chart together and map out my record number of conquests…”

“…when I am at a Black Tie event, and meet a girl that I want to “Kade” in the bathroom…”

“…you have to knock it out in 5 minutes or under so you work quick, and focus on a hard and fast pumping style, and then walk back into the Gen Pop crowd totally disheveled and out of it and make them jealous…”

“I prefer proportionate fake boobs that accentuate the figure, and have great nipples…”

“There have been times while having sex with models with “Bee Stings” or girls with E’s or higher that I have actually begun to lose my erection because it is either not enough to coddle, or overwhelmingly too much reminding me of the monsters my Grandmother had “Pre Breast Cancer”.”

“…the key to capturing this “Jewel of the Wild” is to not pay any attention to her, and actually be a complete and utter asshole making her feel like she doesn’t deserve you because they will want to prove you wrong and perform longer and better. Of the countless girls Arthur Kade has experienced…”

“You know how people say “”Days Run Together”"? Well I feel like “”Vagina runs together”"”

“In the meantime, The Brand is working on several HUGE announcements for “The Journey” this week…” – Oh yay, more extra work! I can’t believe there are extras casting directors out there who actually consider your presence to be of worth on a film set. It almost seems like the threats our commenters have made of telling people in the industry about your creepy, rapey self and your unprofessional antics on set are almost…well…empty threats!

“the amazing start to “The Year Of The Brand”.” – Bland, Arthur. Bland. Your shit is so tired that people have even started turning away from THIS blog! You KNOW you’re dead in the polluted water when traffic for the Anti-Kades starts to die down. How are the comments on your site coming along, Turd Radish?

“…and get pounded and fall on your ass twice…” (from the “Going Thru The Blizzard For Food” video…WHY ARE ALL THOSE WORDS CAPITALIZED?) Freudian slip there, Kade-o? And don’t you hate it when YouTube cuts off the last few seconds of the video?

I really hope the two guys in the “New Fans At Kades Corner At G” go to your site, see what a massive, bloody train wreck you are, and facepalm themselves at the fact that they are now a part of Kade history FOREVER. Poor guys.

I wonder how many notices you’ve received from YouTube telling you that their servers are filling up with your inane bullshit and they’re going to shut down your account lest you start deleting videos? Christ, even Vancouver Film School has at least a FEW videos of worth up, and each of their videos have to occupy 20 MB or more!

“Fan Recognizes Me At Brunch (Orange Slippers)” video: full of FAIL.
- You had to do your famous intro twice.
- You talked in the video.
- You were featured in the video.
- Your video featured innocent people who had never done anything to you in their entire lives.
- You have footage of the head chef of the restaurant on your video (who will probably get many, many requests and/or cash bribes to ‘spice up’ your food next time)
- You had to do your famous “Kade out” twice.

“Biggest Bottle Of Belvedere Ever” video: “Can you imagine thrusting that into somebody?” Good LORD, WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

His beer pong videos are Fail-tastic (that means don’t waste your time watching them).

Finally, the following picture is included because Kade wants the hate, I think. He really wants people leaving comments such as “Cocksucker”, “You like the weiner, eh?” and the like. Why, I don’t know, but I can’t figure any other purpose for the picture. He’s clearly trying to provoke people. It’s at times like these that one must simply walk away and save their energy for something more important (which, considering the size of this post, clearly makes me a hypocrite…ah well, so be it).

LWK, the REAL Kade News Network (just like FOX news: biased as hell).

2010-02-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know he posted the KNN entry 5 days ago; I've got an actual life, but I'm trying to catch up!

(Matt & Jo - Best of Tuesday - 2nd February 2010; download the MP3 here.

…my recorded interview aired on the Number 1 listened too show on the continent, “The Matt And Jo Show on FOX Radio” to a million plus listeners (My interview with them was an unprecedented 25 minutes, with another 5-10 minutes for commentary which in Radio World is like a 3 hour Oscar Winning movie)

Time that Kade was on The Matt & Jo show (from the second his voice was first heard): 4 minutes and 44 seconds. Is it possible that the podcast is the condensed version of the interview? Yes, but since I have no other sources of information on this, I have to conclude that it’s the only version. Kade’s claim that the interview was “an unprecedented 25 minutes, with another 5-10 minutes for commentary” is, as usual, total bunk.

The interview does raise an interesting question or two about human beings rating one another one their appearance, and the possibility that some of us may be closer to Kade than we’d like to admit. However, I attack the notion that a woman is not worth any man’s time simply because her level of attractiveness may fall below a certain number. That kind of thinking hearkens back to the 1950s and the idea of the nuclear family, where the woman knew her place (the kitchen) and was obedient to the man of the house. That time is LONG gone!

Kade, you’re fully admitting that you’re part of a materialistic society that values looks more than intellect; a biological “style over substance” theme, if you will, and for that, you deserve to be herded into a FEMA work camp along with all the other mind-numbed sheeple and made to do slave labor when martial law is declared.

Had DB1 from http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ not mentioned you, I doubt MANY of us would have heard of you, Turd Radish (myself included), so please discard the notion that people were genuinely interested in “““““““““““““““““The Journey””””””””” from its inception. I liken this site to a poor man’s HCwDB (no offence to the admins who help out) because my writing ability is FAR below that of DB1’s, so props to that man for his incredible wit.

Here’s an interesting article that came out shortly after Kade did his balls-ass hot Aussie interview…

This Is Where Arthur Kade Messed The F*ck Up
http://jezebel.com/5451008/this-is-where-arthur-kade-messed-the-fck-up
(check out the comments as well)

An outsider has to admit that, even though many people in Australia hadn’t heard of Arthur Kade before, they’re definitely talking about him now. His controversial views are helping to spread his name around…even if those views are negative. Is it so easy for people to forget a person (such as Kade) who has such shallow and unrealistic views about the opposite sex? Kade may think this is all going in his direction: to get as many people as possible talking about him, but Kade, you've got to know that not all negative press is good press. You’re the only one who has a high opinion of yourself; sure, some of your family and a friend (or two) may want you to succeed, but other than that, who’s rooting for you? Certainly not anyone who’s read your blogs and knows your opinions! I'll bet if someone were to tally up all the comments you've received on your site to this very day and arrange them in terms of positive and negative, the ratio would be 1/9. I'll fuckin' betcha.

Let’s bring another conundrum into the mix: many people have said that Dingy Von Slobbertrap hates women, yet two of his most famous enablers (GN Kang and Marissa Rosen) are WOMEN! What about Lindsay Furman and Sabrina Strickland? In fact, aside from Chad Boonswang and Kent Osborne, I don’t hear much about Kade’s male friends (yes, I’ve read the “Douchebag spotlight post”). He refers to the Entourage once in awhile, but we never SEE them. Why is that?

“The Matt And Jo Show” even referred to me as a celeb, and called my blog “One of the biggest blogs in the world right now”.

As has been said before, Kade may be suffering some kind of psychotic break from reality. I liken it to a sort of escapism from the reality in which he was once living. His lust for the life of a rich and famous actor could be the yearning for acceptance, the love that he needs to fill the empty void that is his consciousness. The life of an actor is so much more than receiving awards, being recognized/praised, and revered for one’s talents. In fact, the aforementioned things may be a microcosm of an actor’s busy life, and Arthur may be overlooking everything else in order to see the reward, the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Could he, in fact, be deceiving himself? Pulling the wool over his own eyes? Has he more than one personality that takes over his mind when it feels the other mindset is not doing what it should be? Is it a sort of game, or battle, between the two mindsets? Could he be deliberately changing aspects of his mental attitude from time to time so that no one person can really know who he is? Does he purposely throw himself into things he does not know to see if one of his personalities will pick up on it, and therefore make him a greater (more talented, perhaps) person? With all the mind games that Kade may be playing in his head, would he become so confused that the perceived reality (that he wants to exist) and the one that actually exists have fused together? Kade may even be deluding himself into thinking that he is above everything in this reality, that he is perfect and can do anything as long as he puts his mind to it. But how far will he go? Because he wants the life of the actor so much (or at least the rewards of one), has he started believing that he already IS one? Does he envy that kind of life so much, and if so, how far is he willing to go? Those of us who have seen “The Talented Mr. Ripley” have an idea what envy (and jealousy) will do to a person.

The following films deal with deception and different levels of reality. I believe they are worth checking out, even if I’m referring to reality as Kade attempts to mold it for himself while the films deal with people who are realizing that their reality is not the ‘real’ reality.

The Matrix
The Thirteenth floor
eXistenZ
Dark City

It’s interesting to see that a man whose own mind is so damaged wants to become a person whose occupation it is to create and showcase other personalities. An actor must know who they are through-and-through, and their mental faculties should be stable if they are to remain competent and be able to deal with ever-increasing pressures both in their professional and personal lives. Although it can be argued that some of the greatest actors “were not all there” and had very messy private lives, it goes to show that there is no one formula for success in this particular industry.

An interesting comment from the “Kade scale” page…

Rhino on 02 Feb 2010 at 7:09 pm

That’s the nature of satire Jasmine, it highlights a serious issue and promotes discussion about.
This ‘Kade’ character is a mirror of the whole ‘looks are everything’ issue in Western society.
He is designed to make you think ‘well yeah I judge people based on their appearance, maybe I should try to do that a little bit less.’
The ‘Kade’ character is actually helping your cause!

…and some great comments from the KNN blog on Kade’s site…

Women Against Kade! on 03 Feb 2010 at 7:35 pm

ATTENTION WOMEN OF THE WORLD:
After listening to Arthur’s “Aussie” interview, how he wouldn’t spend one precious moment of his time on a woman he deemed “unworthy”, it occurred to me that in 2010, many women are :
Casting Agents
Directors
Producers
Executives
Decision makers in the “Biz”
Many of us fall below that Morons ideal of “kade worthiness”. Well, Ladies, we hold the keys to the Kingdom that he wants to enter.
Word spreads, reputations are formed, blackballing occurs.
Henceforth, we are forming a “sub-chapter” of the “Katers”………. Help me out with a witty name. Lets spread the word of his misogeny!
Oh, men, you are welcome as well.

**********

This post is dedicate to Paul Major and his Lovely Wife!

aussie girl on 04 Feb 2010 at 8:07 pm

hey Arthur Im with all my fellow Australians we are laughing so hard at you .I just had to click on your site to see what you looed like and yep just as I thought you have a face that looks like a busted asshole .Your ugly inside and out and holly cow your STUPID
lmao

I don’t know what one looks like, but “face that looks like a busted asshole” brings back memories of the good ol’ days when the comments on Kade’s blog were rife with harsh, yet funny insults. Aussie girl rocks.

Finally, I’m closing this entry with my favourite comment from Kade’s Youtube page:

Icee1231 (1 month ago)
Your videos are like a massive train wreck in which everyone on board and several pedestrians are killed.
That is how bad your shit is. Please leave the internets.

The most honest video Kadyshes has ever filmed

2010-02-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

I can't even explain this. It's amazing. Their brutal honesty about how much Kade sucks and what an annoying gnat he is can't be expressed in words. In an entire waiting area full of extras, not one person wants anything to do with Fin Face. Moreover, if you read Kade's poorly written blog (I read 2 paragraphs but then gave up) he mentions that he tried to wait in the SAG waiting area but they asked him to leave and kicked him out. So then he got sent to this waiting area with all the extras. Most of these people (if not all) have day jobs and do extra work like this whenever they have time or get a chance. Arthur has no life and no job, so this is the most amazing thing he's done and he acts like a total amateur. When you think about it, Kade's normal day is talking to retarded girls (the Nontourage), working out and taking supplements, and sleeping on a floor of a gen pop apartment in a blue collar city. So yes, I guess being an extra in NYC is pretty awesome by contrast.

Arthur's Personality Disorder Discussed in New Blog Entry

2010-02-05T00:05:00.000-08:00

I'm pressed for time, but I'll follow this up later with some thoughts.

For now, read the article and post thoughts/reflections below.

LWK

Kade’s personal copy of CLEO magazine should be shredded…then sprinkled all over his bleeding face…after an Aussie gives him a good ol’ down-under beating

2010-02-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

Some of you may be thinking, “Oh no. ANOTHER blog by Kade and ANOTHER hack job by LWK on that blog.” Well, you won’t be disappointed. It doesn’t depress me that Kade is furthering his whacko mind with his website; as a matter of fact, it entertains me and makes me laugh that a 32 (when’s his birthday?)-year-old man with dreams of becoming an actor would post a video of himself talking about “cleaning the spit off” his “thing” after showing a glimpse of his “celebrity life” (a.k.a. unwashed clothes on the god damn floor)
in a blog post containing many grammatical and spelling errors. Simply reading the damn thing makes me laugh and feel better about myself, knowing that I’m not some lispy loser with mental problems (no offense to actual handicapped people out there who have lisps, but this guy is trying to pass himself off as the next best thing while denying that he’s mentally ill or unfit). ANYWAY-UH, here we go…

“Here is the vid of The Brand getting his personal copy of the groundbreaking article”

‘Groundbreaking’, that’s for sure; groundbreaking in the way that thousands of pissed-off Aussies are going to be charging down the street en masse like bulls towards CLEO magazine’s headquarters to behead the author of that eye-raping article.

“Australia's Verison of Cosmo Mag”

I’m confused. Don’t you mean Verizon? Does Verizon do a magazine that mirrors Cosmo? Oh, you mean VERSION, don’t you, Fade? Screwy McDinglehopper either doesn’t use Spellcheck or has become so deluded that he thinks he can spell no wrong. Also, why is “Verison” (aka version) capitalized?

“This celeb feature article is setting the whole continent on fire right now”

I bet the only thing on fire right now in Australia is CLEO magazine’s headquarters because the readers of the magazine were so enraged by their precious reading material being splattered with your hideous, rapey image that they did they only thing that would prevent such publications from ever doing again what some moron in the publishing department decided would be a good idea to do.

“as well as some of the prep that is going into the spot be booked on one of the most popular TV Shows (This one is HUGE because it is Emmy award winning, and will give me a chance to network and collaborate with some of the biggest names in “The Biz”, and share “The Journey” with them if they haven’t heard about it yet)”

REALLY? You mean you’ll get to showcase your delusional mindset to an even BIGGER audience? That’s SO AWESOME! I can’t wait for the haters to fill your blog posts (and ours as well) with hateful/hilarious comments! This will be the dawn of a new generation of Katers! Score!
(Speaking of the show, it would be awesome if it was “The View” because I would LOVE to see Whoopi Goldberg throw a right hook at your oh-so-statuesque face.)

Why in the holy FUCK would you film inside a tanning booth, and WHY would you tan with pants and shoes on? Your retardedness TRULY knows no bounds, and this is the proof of that boundlessness. Your nostrils were so big in that video, I could have flown the Millenium Falcon into one of them in order to destroy the Death Star's main reactor. The reason you may be the first person in history (although I HIGHLY doubt it because I’m almost certain there was a death scene in one of the “Final destination” movies that involved tanning booths) to film inside a tanning booth is because it’s assumed no one else with an IQ over Forrest Gump would bring a camera into a tanning booth for any purpose whatsoever. People have been filmed having sex in tanning booths, but that’s the way the porn industry rolls. And that yelling you were doing inside the tanning booth was probably well-received by the staff of the place. Hopefully they retain your services in the future so that when they’re trying to attract more business, they can show their future clients the “Man in the screaming booth” (yes, I know it would make more sense if it was “Screaming man in the booth”, but I’m trying to make a Bruce Campbell reference here).

“…also started a new Advanced Theater Class At The Walnut Street Theatre to rave reviews with the teacher calling my scene “Very Very Good”.”

Awww, the teacher called your scene “Very Very Good.” Did he pat you on the head when he said it, little Arthur? Also, how do you know those words were capitalized when he said them? What kind of inflection and tone would one have to have in their voice in order to give you the impression that those words, when quoted, should be capitalized? To hell with Temple University, whatever high school you graduated from should be shut down IMMEDIATELY!
(Yeah, I know, this is the internet and we're all tough guys and English teachers here.)

You would think that a teacher who was “raving” about a scene would have had more to say about it than simply “Very Very Good.” He might have said things like: spectacular, superb, great, riveting, excellent, fabulous, wonderful…..etc etc. “Very Very Good” is what you say to a dog that brought you back a stick after you’ve thrown it as far away from you as you can.

“The class is very challenging, and we will picking a scene from a renowned play (I have picked “Closer” which is one of my fave movies with Nat Portman, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, and Jude Law) but with my extensive theater background from college, and working with Sharon on the scene, I am sure that we will kill it by the end of the semester.”

I’m sure that, by the end of the semester, Sharon will have killed herself. And if you can call her Nat instead of Natalie, why not go all the way with the others: Cli Owen, Jule Roberts, and Ju Law? Y’know, since you’re going to know them oh-so-well when you break into “““““““““““The Biz””””””””””, you might as well start practicing now...

I hope the picture of that woman you posted is one of the hosts and she tears a fucking STRIP off you, jackass! You deserve to be talked down to by a woman for your retarded ‘Kade scale.’ Yes, I wouldn’t doubt that a lot of men rate women, but I disagree that it’s on a 1-10 scale. Methinks it’s more along the lines of “If she had a booty, I’d do ‘er,” or “More cleavage and I’d do ‘er” or “A paper bag on that butterface and a Playboy bunny video on in the background and I’d do ‘er.” Kade, you’re honest to the point of having that word chiselled on your tombstone because some feminist couldn’t take it anymore and gunned you down in the name of all things womanly…and then we here at LWK would visit her in prison and bring her chocolate and give her foot massages. What? I’m just sayin’ it’d be the gentlemanly thing to do, that’s all! Where’s everyone goin’?

To the regular visitors, the latest post by our lisping hero is nothing new: bad grammar, misspelled words, douchy behaviour, delusions of grandeur, stupid self-shots, and worthless self-quotes…basically, your computer screen was Kade-kkakked (combination of Kade and bukkakke). To anyone reading this for the first time, TURN BACK NOW. As Alex Jones said in the trailer for “Endgame: Blueprint for global enslavement”: You have been warned.

P.S. “we will picking”? Are you an immigrant or something? PROOFREAD, MOTHER FUCKER, DO YOU DO IT? You know what, don’t. Your blogs are way more entertaining when you emulate the mindset of an 8-year-old who was fed Jolt cola (distant precursor to Red bull) and a steady diet of “You can be anything you want” subliminal messages. Lisp on, Big Bird, lisp on…

P.P.S. If that’s a “fan pic”, then you’re the dumbest piece….nevermind.
P.P.P.S. BRING BACK ARTURDTHEZERO AND HIS AMAZING TWITTER!

Kade is a dope whose website would get more hits if his waste-of-cumB body was hanging at the end of a rope

2010-02-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

I think it would be pointless (and a waste of space) to reproduce his "Rope-A-Dope" blog entry here in its entirety, but I will pick out sentences here and there.

"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, and dished out 5 assists, and there were several college coaches watching..."

Lesson for Mr. Alpha Elite celebrity/blogger/author: your sentence would look better, have better structure, and not be such a headache if it looked like this:

"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, dished out 5 assists and was being watched by several college coaches."

Actually, it would look MUCH better if it was like this:

"As a younger Arthur Kadyshes, I can remember (while warming the benches) watching the other basketball players drop treys, dish out assists and receive great comments that several college coaches (who were standing in a group near me) were making about them."

No, that's still not right. HERE'S what it should look like:

"

"

THAT’S the A-game authoring that I’m looking forward to reading in your book (that’s probably entitled “My Balls-ass, hot-ass celebrity life living on other people's couches”).

Did no one else see that, despite the length of the first sentence (mainly because of all the 'ands'), there was no 'AMAZING' in it? Zounds! Egads! Golly! The Al Gore of the blogging world is changing it up!

"It is that moment that was the first time Arthur Kade realized that he was a “Soldier”, a person who will fight to the death for a cause that he believes in, a super-human/half-man/half-mammal invention of nature that was born to be a wrecking ball of society, and that is when I made the choice in my head that I will never settle or share the victory with anyone."

Kind of like the soldiers we see in war movies that get all shot up when they're fighting for a cause they believe in? The ones who charge at the enemy, yelling heroically, the look of victory in their eyes….and then they get their torsos pumped full of lead because they were running across an open battlefield like morons? Those soldiers? I should photoshop your face onto the front line of “Operation Human Shield” in “South Park: Bigger, longer and uncut.”

You’re definitely a half mammal, the kind with an oversized snout (yes, yes, I know; an old joke, but still an easy one). You’re also correct when you say that you’re a wrecking ball of society; when people read your tripe, they start destroying whatever’s closest to them because they can’t believe a human being can be such a deluded juggernaut. Plus, you’ll never share the victory with anyone? Does that mean no Oscar speech? People who win Oscars make speeches as part of SHARING THE EXPERIENCE. Foot in mouth – you are the Kween of it.

“…because I look at challenges that are in front of me, and forget the strategy that is sometimes needed to win the war.”

Forget strategy! Just charge at the enemy with that hero-like “YAAAAAAAAH!” battle cry!

“As I was discussing this weekend with Papa Kade this morning…”

PAST morning. PAST. “As I was discussing this PAST weekend with Papa Kade this morning…” is what it should read. I discussed your bad grammar with your mom last night. It was tough to hear her reply because her mouth was constantly being jackhammered.

I wouldn’t doubt there were/are multiple press requests and radio interviews for you to do, because there are so many people out there who simply cannot BELIEVE a moron such as yourself is (a) still alive and (b) so full of himself it might pass for 5-10 minutes of entertainment and help fill dead time slots. Hey, people have to laugh at something, y’know what I mean?

“You know me, and I don’t like to share…”

BULLSHIT! You probably don’t like to share your homosexual tendencies, but sifting through a few pages of your website will provide people with PLENTY of information about you! If you didn’t like to share, you wouldn’t have started a blog with the tagline, “My journey to stardom.”

“…one of my favorite memories is playing at the J.C.C. (Jewish Community Centers for all my Non-Jew Kade Nation members out there) and Papa Kade had just bought me the newest Optimus Prime Transformer that weekend that no one had, and every kid was trying to play with me because they wanted to touch my beautiful huge toy, and one kid told me when I wouldn’t let him play with it, “Go back and play in the dirt where you belong”, and I proceeded to beat him senseless using Optimus Prime as a battering club on his head, getting me suspended from school for 3 days. When Mama Kade came to get me there, the teacher said to her, “I hate to say it, but I’m happy your son did that because someone needed to teach that boy a lesson in manners”.”

Someone should have taught your young, dumb ass a lesson in controlling your temper. What a waste of a good Prime toy. Had you kept that thing in excellent condition, you could have sold it for a lot of money by now on Ebay to help finance the journey, eh?

Kade, if you’re going to be an actor, you HAVE to have a plan B. HAVE TO! Ever since high school, I was told to have a backup plan in case acting didn’t pan out for me. I’m pretty damn sure you were told the same thing at some point in time. Good to hear that you’re ignoring it so we can see you crash and burn one day. Perhaps you’ll turn out like Samuel L. Jackson’s character from “Resurrecting the champ”: one day, some young chump will find your broke, homeless hide wandering the back alleys of Philly, and they’ll ask you a question that will lead to you spewing out your imagined life story of being a great actor back in the day. That young chump may take your word as gospel…until they find out the truth…then it’s back to the burning trash cans with you.

The rest of your post….yeah, we know the drill: lies, exaggeration and fantasy. And I’m sure the Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show was advertised as being “The Balls Ass Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show.” Oh yeah, that’s exactly what would attract the Gen Pop masses! Nothing brings out the dead like Balls and Ass.

Our lisping hero is debating getting a dog? Why, to fondle the thing’s junk on camera again, or to split a few bags of Pup-Peroni with it? And OH MY GOD, you’re REALLY MOVING TO LOS ANGELES? Kent, free up a couch (or closet or storage space)!

“…and it looks like I was just booked to work on one of the biggest TV Shows in the world on Thursday, and am just waiting for a confirm phone call before I announce it.”

And we shall hold you to that…especially if it doesn’t happen (yeah, like THAT’S ever been the case)! Why don’t you wait until it has been ABSOLUTELY CONFIRMED before EVEN MENTIONING it? You might as well say that you were “pretty much” booked for it, which is bullshit talk for “I think I am, but I don’t know.”

Check out the KadeFail bowling video:

What I would give for someone like Maddox or a group of 4channers to have at 'er with your tripe, Kade. What I would give...

Beauchamp challenges Kade! (nothing new to the Katers)

2010-02-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

Those of us who troll the comments of this blog on a somewhat regular basis would have seen Matt Beauchamp's challenge to Kade to bench press 255 pounds some time ago. Well, I think it's about time the challenge got its own post, no matter what the age of it.

Here's the details of Matt's challenge:
255 lbs, INCLUDING the bar (which weighs 45 lbs); that's two 45 pound cookies on each side, then a ten and a five on each side.
He's making it very easy for you, Gleaming Face with Spam. As Arnold would say, "Do it. DO IT!"

And if I had my way, Kade would be doing Mike Mentzer-style reps: 5 seconds to lower the weight and 5 seconds to lift it, none of this half-rep bullshit where the bar goes down to a point where it's 5 or so inches above the chest and then the user starts to press back up and the lower back raises up 10 inches off the bench (the amount of guys I've seen do bench press with horrible form like the aforementioned is sickening). The shoulders and triceps take the brunt of the weight in the bench press exercise, but since Kade has enormous, Adonis-like shoulders, he should be able to handle it no problem.

So step up Kade, there's 500 American dollars in it for ya. Speaking of which, why haven't there been any more Kade workout videos? Has he become embarrassed to release videos of himself in the gym since the hack job I did (with his other workout videos) that were featured in Yakety Kade?

You saw the new banner? You like it or what? I'm an old-school DOOM fan, so it made sense to me to copy & paste Kade's (un)likeness into that good ol' game. Hell, if I find the time one day, I might even create a KadeDoom WAD file, complete with sound clips and characters images based upon our lisping hero. I have CamStudio 2.0, so I could probably record a demo of it for y'alls enjoyment. How many of you people own a copy of Doom, or Doom 2, or even Final Doom? How many of you know what Doom is? For those of you who don't, you should be ASHAMED of yourselves!

On a completely different note, what about a LegoWigKade theme song? I've noticed that Kudos is quite adept at lyrical composition, so I have a challenge for him: how about a reworking of Motorhead's "Ace of Spades"? I was thinking that the title could be "He can't get laid" or "Debasing Kade" (or something to that effect)? Is there an instrumental-only version of "Ace of Spades" out there (and I don't mean the damn karaoke version)? If such a task were to be undertaken, who would record the vocals? Initially I thought of Brett (the guy from Australia), but I saw a comment from him awhile back saying that he was "out" (I know, I know, Lemmy is from England and Brett is Australian, don't jump all over me). Are there any Englishmen who would do it? I don't have the vocal fortitude for such a job, and I know I'd do a horrible one of it. But this is an example of user-generated content, or, more specifically, a collaberation. Who's with me, WHO'S WITH ME?

Here's an awesome compilation someone came up with that features both the Mad Max films AND "Ace of Spades":

Mad Max Tribute - Motorhead - Ace of Spades

He ain't dead yet, motherfuckers!

2010-02-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

Let's start off the month of February with a bit of fun, shall we?

And I know this would be stating the obvious, but it's being posted here for posterity:

Lastly, I know it's not as great as the most recent one I did (call it "Kadewars" if you will, but the title I gave it was "The Life of Arthur Kade, episode 1", and episode 2 is in production), but a voicemail would not be out of the question at this point, no?

Here.

With the low amount of comments on Kade's site, some may be speculating as to whether or not Kade's blog (maybe even his existence) is entering its final throes before the death knell. Well, who knows, but we here at the LegoWigKade Blogspot will watch the KadeShip sink completely before we sail off into the sunset, victorious. Until then, let the arrows fly!

Kade tries to force himself on unsuspecting model. Then brags about it!

2010-01-29T12:34:00.000-08:00

Fucking Scumbag

"...there were even some “Boos” which one girl told me was “The sexiest thing imaginable”, and I pulled a Victoria’s Secret stunt where I almost kissed a girl on stage only to be pushed away at the last moment ((Vid Below))), all I could think about was the high of the reaction that I had gotten from the sold out crowd at Public House."

Kades New Twitter Bio is Exactly Why People Hate Him

2010-01-28T12:08:00.000-08:00

Name Arthur Kade

Location Kadealot, Kearth
Web http://www.arthur...
Bio The Brand-Future Oscar Winning Actor and NY Times Bestselling Author

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, and the stupid infighting needs to stop. Seriously, Kade is a fucking tool and needs to be mocked, but going after anonymous commentators is just silly.

Hahahahahahahah. Nice hat dildo!

Dances with Mediocrity: The Kadedance Dominiation

2010-01-26T12:38:00.000-08:00

So I know we haven't been reblogging lately because it's been the same boring crap, but this post has to be reblogged for the shear number of well known people he insults. This will be Arthur's legacy; lies, lies and dickish behavior. Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors, I am sick and not in the mood. JBone

ps Did anyone notice the Twitter host calling out Arthur for crashing the party and getting kicked out? Makes #5 even funnier.

Update: Working on the vids, for some reason I can't get them embedded correcty, fucking Kade, useless shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.

As I was leaving the amazing string of successes and networking and learning that Arthur Kade had accomplished at KadeDance Film Festival, I was talking to a Gen Popper on my plane, and sharing with him the greatness and popularity of “The Journey”, and all of the adventures and “Bizzers” I had met and collaborated with, and he said, “You should really think about writing a book”, and I looked at him and said, “Already in the process of the that with one of the best Literary Reps in the world and developing a hit TV Show with a major Production company as well”, and he responded, “Sounds like you’re about to become a really big star”, and Arthur Kade said, “Almost there already. Just did an interview with the top listened to radio show in Australia”. There were so many stories, so many “Bizzers” and Crafters, and so many adventures that I could write 10 blogs on it all, so I decided to try and list all of the greatest moments of the trip (There were so many that I may need to do a second blog). Here are the Balls Ass Hottest moments that happened to Arthur Kade:

1) Meeting The Bisutti Sisters (Victoria’s Secret Models) who couldn’t have been any sweeter, and one of them was a KA 9.9 who was absolutely stunning and what I would consider flawless (having stood next to Gislele and Alesandro whom I have both given 10’s, I would say she is just as gorgeous in features and looks) with the only thing bring her score down from a perfect 10 was her not being the height of those other girls. It’s a shame that I was so busy with private parties and events that I needed to be seen at that I would have liked to hang out with them some mor

2) Meeting and Hanging Out with legendary SlamDance founder (SlamDance is an alternate Film Festival to Sundance that was started 16 years ago to showcase “Better Indie Movies” and in recent years is said to have gotten better quality movies with Steven Soderburgh actually giving his movie to them this year), Dan Mervish, whom as you can see by the vids below, I was able to chill with for a bit (Courtesy of Cali BFF/Kade Nation SuperFan/Cartoon Network Legend, Kent Osborne) and pick his brain about some of the genius that he has in creating a hit book, “I am Martin Eisenhour”, and hearing him refer to Arthur Kade as a “Celebrity” really made my afternoon.

3) At the Invite/List Only ESPN Party, Meeting my favorite sportswriter and author, Bill Simmons from ESPN, who I told he should check out my site and become a fan of “The Journey”, and it was funny that of all the fellow crafters or celebs I met or spoke to (Ben Affleck, Wilder Vadermama, The Guy From American Pie, Alan Tudyk), he was the only one that really left me star-struck. I read Bill Simmon’s column every week, and feel that he is the most comedic and best writer out there, and gets me to laugh all the time. I also got to meet fellow Baller Steve Nash, and was in the section right next to T.O. and Aaron Rodgers later on at the

4) Seeing Marisa Tomei (This was easily the most disappointing moment of the trip because I have always had a “Kade Style” crush on her, and have even thought about having her as my Oscar Date when I am nominated, but in person she is very small and old looking with very dried up lips, and I couldn’t even give her more than a KA 6.43. I told one of my friends on the trip, “I couldn’t be seen with her at The Oscars. It would totally kill my Rep”.) at The Village At The Yards, Arthur Kade approached her to say introduce myself and talk about working on projects together and introduce her to “The Journey”, and she was very frazzled, rude and non accommodating, and all I Wanted to Say was, “Marisa, Do you know that I’m Arthur Kade, and I when you work with me on future projects or I am starring in a movie you’re in, the fact that you were just rude to me is going to be a sticking point. I am about to become the biggest star in KA, and this is not the way you treat a future Oscar Winner”.

5) While at The Tweet House (Home to many of the best parties on the trip where many celebs like Arthur Kade stopped by to chill) for one of the night parties, I was walking around looking for the three girls that I had met earlier in the day on Main St. and I hear someone from the VIP section scream “It’s Arthur Kade!!!” a bunch of times and it turns out it was the guy throwing the party. I came back and did a vid with him, and twittered him “Celebs Don’s Crash, We appear and leave with 3 girls”, and I met the girls (The one I liked was a KA 9.45 with an amazing body, great tits, long legs and a face that reminded me of Gwyneth Paltrow but her abs weren’t as tight as I wanted and I suggested LipoSuction to get the 2-3 pounds off that I wanted, and we ended up making out all night and when the parties were over, they were supposed to come to my after party, but couldn’t make it because the hills were too icy. She texted me all day Sunday, but I blew her off because I was mad I didn’t “Kade” her due to “Bad Roads”. It’s OK because I went 3 for 4 on the weekend and wasn’t chasing any girl around when a celeb like Arthur Kade gets his pick of the litter.

6) Friday Night, I ended up at an after party where an actress I had been rapping with all night was all over me, and then we ended up making out, and 20 minutes later a guy showed up to the party and she says to The Brand, “I am so sorry I am kind of seeing that guy”, so I got all pissy and left. Throughout the night it was made clear that we were going to hook up, and for that to happen was unacceptable, but I wasn’t horribly upset because I saw marks on the inside of her arms and I said, “Are those Heroin Holes?”, and she looked at me and said, “It’s Eczema you moron”, but I just couldn’t get the marks out of my head which really bugged me out the whole night.

7) While in the Philadelphia Industry Lounge, 2 girls were sitting on the couch, and one said, “You’re Arthur Kade” and I replied “Yep” (I was so tired of answering that question because I was recognized a lot all weekend, and just wanted to be a normal Gen Popper Instead of a celeb, and then she said, “We have a common friend, Kent Osborne” so I sat down and turns out they were part of the Production Team of one of the better movies at the festival “The Freebie, so we took pics and even did a vid, but my memory card was full.

Meeting all of the producers and directors of so many movies was amazing (There are so many to name that it would take forever), but one that stands out was the group I met at Butcher’s where we exchanged numbers but they had a girl there with them who was a Chicago 8.5 (Blonde with great red lipstick, a slamming little body, but need a bit of a “Kade Style Makeover” so when I asked about her, the one girl answered, ‘She LOVES Rich Men”, and I replied, “That’s not a problem, I landed those girls when I was poor, and know how to handle them”. I have a million cards of producers that I need to follow up with, and the spreading of “The Journey” is in full force all over KA and NYC.

9) Arthur Kade and Ben Affleck (Who was screening his new movie, “The Company Men”) walked by each other on Main Street, but couldn’t stop and talk to each other because The Paps were all over him (I joked to the model that I was with, “It’s like Obama just walked by us”), but I was surprised that he was my size and built. he was a lot bigger than I expected.

10) While in the shuttle heading to the airport, I met the Editor in Chief of a major Celeb/Hollywood Site called The Wrap, who asked me to email and follow up with her about being a guest contributer, and although being a blogger is only my third or fourth passion after acting, authoring, and modeling, I thought it would be a great way to continue to influence the Gen Pop. We Joked about how Bill Gates was at The Private Cisero’s party that featured a concert by John Legend (Great Friendly Guy who was at The Village with us one day), and was dancing on tables and as one friend said, “Fist Pumping and Nerding it out”. I was busy at The Twitter party (Hardest Door to get into that night, and they left at least 200 people in the cold not letting them in), and the girl I ended up making out with stuck her hands down my pants when we talked about “Penal Grooming” and I actually jumped back and said, “Save that For Later”.

11) Running into Laura Silverman (Sarah Silverman’s Sister who I met with actors David Pressman and Rick Overton during my legendary KA trip Last Year) who looked at me and smiled and said, ” Mr. Arthur Kade”. She was an original Celeb Fan when I brought “The Journey” to KA for the first time.

12) While Grabbing Lunch with Kent Osborne, I walked out to see which fellow celeb was outside getting harrassed By Gen Poppers, and knew the dude looked familiar, but couldn’t place it. My first guess was Anthony Michael Hall, but turns out it was Alan Tudyk (Steve The Pirate From DodgeBall), and as Kent and I were walking in from the outside I said it didn’t matter who he was because Arthur Kade was more famous than him anyway.

13) When I ran into “The Dad From One Tree Hill”, we started talking and I said, “Let’s Take a Pic”, and he started thanking me and seemed so genuinely surprised that someone had asked to take a pic with him. It was so sweet and innocent that I debated hugging him, and saying, “When you’re famous you can’t act like that man. Own the crowd. Own the crowd”.

14) Other Fellow Crafters Arthur Kade saw or met but didn’t have a chance to network with: John Legend (Nicest Guy Ever), Juliette Lewis (She is Absolutely Insane), Simon Rex, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Levar Burton (Jordi La Forge From Star Trek), Bob Saget (Who Had 3 gorgeous girls around him), Paris Hilton (Who actually looked really great), Adrian Grenier (He acts, walks, and moves exactly like Vinnie Chase and his movie, Teenage Paparazzi got mixed reviews with one juror telling me, “That movie makes him look like the biggest narcissist).

“Welcome to KadeDance”…Arthur Kade…01/26/10

Dear Arthur,

2010-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

The dog you used to have with Danielle is doing just great and has really taken to Jay, Danielle's new good looking, successful, and non-psychopathic boyfriend. Danielle says hi and hopes you haven't killed yourself yet.

We just received this from a tipster and wanted to pass it along, since we know Kade reads here, just like Kent and everyone else. No one reads Lispy's blergg, but the peeps luv reading the LegoWig blog; how unfortunate for Fin Face.

By the way everyone, Arthur's "huge" announcement for the week is that he's going to go back on his meds. Arthur, please say it isn't so, we like you this way.... I mean, we like to laugh at you even if we don't like you.
Hugs,

LWK

Kent Osborne sends a video from Sundance

2010-01-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

The Fin Faced Lisping Nobody tries and fails to attract paparazzi attention, doesn't realize that Kent Osborne and his friends are laughing at him rather than with him, and then does more of his pedestrian Kween Krap. Kind of zzzzz, but Kent took the time to email us, so we gotta give respect. Kent really added some firsthand video footage to the whole experience, back when it was funnier. And Kent, in fairness to you, we'd probably enjoy doing what you're doing too.

from       Kent Osborne <kentosborne@[redacted].net>

to        legowigkade@gmail.com
date         Sat, Jan 23, 2010 at 7:00 PM
subject      arthur in park city
signed-by       [redacted].net
hide details 7:00 PM (6 hours ago)

hey legowig!
i'm not sure if this video will cure your boredom, but it's the best i can do!
- kent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ9kSQB4BmY

Tucker Max to Arthur Kade: Fuck Off

2010-01-16T13:49:00.000-08:00

A reader who knows Tucker Max sent us this priceless screen shot from his iPhone. They were talking last night and our reader asked TM about Lispy McSlobberfuck, who Tucker has never, ever heard of (before last night). For the record, Tucker never looked it up, Kade is just another Gen Popper trying to name drop and Tucker didn't have time for that shit.

Pretty much speaks for itself. Yes, Arthur Kadyshes is still a cock gobbling, lying, fin faced failure.

Thanks to our reader for sending it in. Other tips? legowigkade@gmail.com