Celebrating A Year In Obscurity - The Bland's Journey Turns One

Well folks, Arthur Kade's quest to become the most famous and talented actor in the world has just turned a year old, and what a year it's been. Arthur has put up a new post reflecting on his year, and it's honestly sad to see what he considers to be his high points, because most of them are lies, or are just plain stupid. 


Even more hilarious, though, is that the fact that after a year of attempting to become an actor, he has still not spoken a single word in any production. He spends his days trolling Actor's Access, by himself like thousands of other "actors," many of which I imagine are much more successful than he is. The most he has to his name are a few extra spots on some movies and tv shows - things that his often-despised "Gen Pop" doesn't even pay attention to. It's so funny to think that Arthur really believes that, as an extra, possibly in a scene that he may be visible for a nanosecond, he is adding something huge to the project. Witness this item from his "best of year one" list on the new post:


In working with some of the top acting teachers and talent judges in Philly, NYC, and KA, it is widely regarded that Arthur Kade has raised his abilities in Film/TV Acting and The Craft to award winning levels already, and this has led to him working on hit projects in Film and TV WITH fellow Crafters like Angie Jolie, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Alec Baldwin, and Dev Patel, and has become one of “The Fastest rising actors in Young Hollywood”. This has taken hundreds of hours of pain staking preparation and behind the scenes practice as well as a drive for excellence to become the greatest and most decorated actor in American History. Despite all the fame, future eight figure paychecks, and celebrity benefits that I already get, the end goal of “The Journey is to touch Lil’ Oscar and bring him home to enjoy for years to come.


Notice the word "WITH" bolded above. He was an extra on movies or shows involving these actual actors. He has the nerve to lie and suggest he worked with them individually, when all he did was stand somewhere like dozens or hundreds of extras on the same production. And about those top acting teachers and talent judges? Arthur, if you were so good then why aren't you an actor? Why have you not had a speaking role in a single scene in a single production yet? Finally, doesn't one have to have acted in a Hollywood production to call oneself a member of "young hollywood?" Even better - doesn't one have to ACTUALLY BE YOUNG to be a part of "young hollywood?" Being 32  years old, and looking like a 40 year old doesn't get you into this category.


There's one thing we do give Arthur credit for: he sure is dedicated to getting attention. The entire last year of his life has been so completely about his need for attention, and so much less about his dream of becoming an actor. He is so wrapped up in gaining any semblance of attention that he's willing to make a fool out of himself constantly even to receive negative attention. He fails to see that radio shows interview him because he's a once-in-a-lifetime absurdity (and even that's a stretch - a new idiot is born every day!) and he's stupid enough to think that Philadelphia Magazine is an "internationally read magazine," and not simply a local publication in the 5th largest market in the United States.


We completely expect more of the same for the next year. What else is there to expect? An actual TV show? A book that will never get published? Some casting director clueless enough to give an ugly, lisping, hyperactive and unprofessional asshole a single word in a movie? Face it Kade, when this time rolls around next year  - that is, if you're not committed to an insane asylum before then - we can guarantee ourselves that it will be much like this past year: the posts about parties and girls you didn't have sex with will outnumber posts about acting 12 to 1. 


It's just so sad that a person goes to bed each night dreaming about winning acting awards, and "practicing it [Oscar acceptance speech] everyday while I’m walking or driving," yet has absolutely no self awareness to realize how totally unreachable that goal really is.
Finally, Arthur, this list is for you. We feel like you need to be reminded of some of the actual truths about why you will not be an Oscar winning actor, or, even an actual actor at all.

1. You still have a lisp.
2. You still have acne.
3. In person, people say you look like you're in your early 40s.
4. Your hygiene is the only "third world" aspect of your existence. 
5. You're just not dedicated to acting; you're dedicated to attention and partying.
6. You have very few friends left. Your "entourage" usually just consists of you, all alone.
7. You don't realize that people read your blog because they hate you, your YouTube videos rarely receive more than one star, and the comments say it all: PEOPLE HATE YOU!
8. You don't have millions of fans; at best you have a few thousand people who read your site, again, BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU, and your stupidity and idiocy helps many people feel really good about their successful lives.
9. You live alone, with barely any furniture, and you live like a pig.
10. You hate everyone but yourself.
11. Your therapy is obviously not working.
12. You lie about every aspect of  your life, because you know your life is worthless, and lying is the only way you can be somebody.
13. You're not a good Jew; you only use your religion for for attention.
14. You really, really freaked the fuck out when the legowigkade blog started up - we still laugh at that: a supposed A List movie star reduced to moderating his own blog, and copying comments from legowigkade because people were leaving you in droves. You were so afraid, and so immature! We still laugh at that often.
15. You accost total strangers for photos, many of whom are never high enough in the Kade scale, this contradicting your bullshit claims that you only associate with attractive people.
16. Pay attention here: YOU HAVE NO ACTING TALENT WHATSOEVER. THE END.