HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION:

1. You start an "advice column" ("Ask Arthur", May 19th, 2010) that deals with mentoring and advice on dating, sex, relationships, career, and just basically living a “Sinatra-esque” life that you claim you will do on a weekly basis (you also refer to yourself as the White Oprah With Balls and think that this column is a serious step towards media domination of “The Biz”),

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He grins at his fantasy win while we facepalm at his reality failure.

How long can I keep doing this, you may wonder? Throwing out insults, marking his quotes in blue, calling him out on statements that I think are suspect...Well, I’m going to do it as long as it takes. I don’t believe Kade will kill himself, nor do I wish such a thing (not only for legal reasons but because I’m not quite that kind of asshole); therefore, this will go on for quite some time. I think that, by the time Kade decides to throw in the towel (which I suspect will take at least another year), everyone who started following Duh Gurney will be gone…and probably me, too (to be replaced by another Kater, no doubt). Until then, however…

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Weekly catch-up

I’m going to start with a few items that I should have included in the last post I did (which was “Showtime, Kadester!”):

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Kade is a dope whose website would get more hits if his waste-of-cumB body was hanging at the end of a rope

I think it would be pointless (and a waste of space) to reproduce his "Rope-A-Dope" blog entry here in its entirety, but I will pick out sentences here and there.

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A Weekend in the Life of a Classless Douchebag

Let me start this heading by saying that he is completely out of material. He is now lying about lies before he lies about them. As a "Gen Popper" has already said on his blog, I wouldn't want anything to do with your classless weekend plans. Half-rate clothing? Check. Skanks? Check. Party that you do not know anyone attending? Check. Sounds fun! You are seriously past your "use by" date and are completely floundering. God, you can't even win biggest cunt in your own city. This is a new one; speculative delusions from our dancing monkey....

It’s amazing the degree to which the Gen Pop lives through the beautiful and exciting eyes of Arthur Kade, and the stuff that I get to do that Gen Poppers will never be able to experience on all fronts of “The Biz”, “The Journey”, being invited to the hottest parties as a celeb to party with other celebs, and of course developing a number 1 hit TV Show with IMG Media and authoring a NY Times Bestselling book “Repped” by Trident Media Group, and after dominating Rouge last night where I had 2 girls making out with each other for me at the bar, and then one of them making out with me for kicks, The Brand thought it would be a cool idea to show Kade Nation what a weekend in the life of a celebrity like Arthur Kade looks like in NYC and Philly in advance, and get their glands salivating waiting for the coverage blogs of this weekend.



Friday

I have been invited to be a guest judge and will be blogging about TITS Shirts doing an open call for gorgeous girls who want to be selected as their next “Wifey” for the new campaign for their T-Shirt Line and a collaboration “TITS X Michael K Calendar” (Ad Below), (These are the T-Shirts that I have been wearing a ton lately, and all Arthur Kade can say is that they are the hottest and edgiest line in KA right now, and he was even stopped on Collins Ave in Kadeami where a guy said, “I love their shirts!! You are the first person down here I have seen wearing one, and they are about to explode as a clothing line, and I have even tried to get them to use some of my photography”) The casting will be Friday the 11th from 1 - 7pm. Girls should come photo ready with something sexy to wear. Girls will have a chance to model in the store front window and be photographed for the blog. If they are selected they will be scheduled for Saturday or Sunday to shoot. There will be a LIve DJ all weekend, body painting, and a scene with Arthur Kade being approached by Kade Nation Fans and admirers that will rival Sundance.


Since Arthur Kade has created what “The Biz” considers to be the most accurate, revolutionary, honest, and amazing system of breaking down and assessing a girl’s beauty and sleepability in “The Kade Scale”, I will be helping choosing the finalists that will eventually have their images on the “Hottest T-Shirt” line in KA right now” (With all the media domination that my brand is creating on a global scale, I wonder if Arthur Kade will be compared to Donald Trump soon, and I think it would be great to see The Brand create a “Beauty Pageant” in the form of Ms. America, that uses “The Kade Scale” and “Arthur Kade” to help find the hottest girls in the world and make them celebs like myself), and I can’t wait to see the “Stripper Hot” and “Club Hot” talent that comes out to audition for the roles and meet The Brand.


After I guest appearance this event, I will head down to Trenton to watch The Philadelphia Passion’s next home game, and then head back to Philly for “Kade Style” social domination of it’s nightlife so that “Arthur Kade’s City” feels loved and wanted since he will begiving so much of it to NYC the whole weekend.


Saturday


As any other celebrity, rising actor and author, and famous person needs to do, Arthur Kade is heading back to NYC in the morning to hang out with “Smokin’ “”Porn Hot”" Porn Star legend, Courtney Cummz (When I mentioned this to one of my friends, he said, “Holy Shit!! She is probably my favorite porn star, and she is smoking hot” and I replied, “These are the times everyone loves being my friends because I give them this kind of access to other BIG names” and other guys who have heard I will be hanging out with her have been begging me to take them with me because they think she is “The Hottest Thing on Earth” ) during the afternoon while she does her signing (I have hooked up with Porn Stars before ((Outside of being stars and talents beyond our years, this is just another thing Tiger Woods and Arthur Kade have in common)), and can tell anyone in the Gen Pop that hasn’t, there is no sex that can touch someone that is in the industry. Porn Stars know their body inside and out, and will do the amazing tricks and give the greatest sex on Earth possible, and the best part for The Brand is that they understand their role and aren’t trying to get “KadePregnated” or “Wifed” and are super clean because they are always being tested for STD’s and I told Papa Kade today at the salon, “Sometimes I think I may just settle down with a Porn Star because they just “”Get It”"”.


Arthur Kade will then will check into my hotel in NYC, and then attend an invitation only party at a guy’s loft in Soho (I am told that this guy is considered one of the biggest socialites in NYC as well, and spares no expenses on his events, and considering he is throwing it for one of his best friends, and the party is called “Naughty or Nice”, I expect The Brand will have girls throwing themselves all over him trying to “Wife Up Hollywood’s next Big Thing”, and get written about how they had sex with “The Golden One” in his blog. I expect that this party will give us a fill of gorgeous girls to play with, but in case it doesn’t, Arthur Kade will use his “King Of NY” status and transfer the party to anyone of NYC’s most popular clubs.


Sunday


Once Arthur Kade wakes up from “Kade Style” domination from the night before (I am hoping that there isn’t an NYC 9 or 10 in my bed that refuses to let me leave because she just keeps wanting to get “Kaded”), he will begin his “Kade Style” Domination of “The Biz” with a HUGE audition for a principal part for a Feature Film (I am waiting for the sides to be sent over so I begin my Crafting work into becoming the character for the audition) at 1PM (The casting director just told me that the Director of the movie specially selected me because “My look is perfect for the role” and all I kept thinking was “My look is pretty much perfect for most roles, but he probably wants an up and coming name in his movie to “Headline” or “Carry” his investment like Arthur Kade), and then head over to begin “Fight Training” for the “Warrior Part” that I have bee cast in with other cast mates the whole afternoon. We will be working with swords and spears, so it will be interesting to see how much knowledge was retained from my training and acting on “The Last Airbender” and whether my “Quick Twich Muscles will fire at will”.


“Most Gen Poppers are “”Attention Whores”". Arthur Kade is just an “”Attention Magnet”"”…Arthur Kade…12/10/09


Here is the promo for The “TITS Event” that I am guest judging and appearing at, and some of the super hot past images that they have used for their T-Shirts in the past

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Lindsay J. Furman Can't Write

I'm beginning to think G.N. Kang isn't behind the writing of any of Cock Gobbler's blogs. If you can read Lindsay J. Furman's poorly written press release below and not get a headache (much like when reading a certain stain's blog) you are a better person than I am. I hope she owns the PR firm she works for because if she doesn't the unemployment rate in Philly will be going up soon. Very soon.

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November 21st is the date of the Sonia Rykiel fashion show at Recess Lounge in Old City.

Raya Coiffure is hosting what could be the biggest fashion event of the season. The show features Sonia Rykiel’s latest designs from Paris at the new “it” night life spot in Old City Philadelphia Recess Lounge, located on South 2nd Street. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE PRLog (Press Release) – Nov 09, 2009 – The fashion show will feature an exclusive runway show with professional models from both New York and Philadelphia.  Also in attendance will be representatives from the Sonia Rykiel's head quarters New York.  The date will be November 21st and the event will begin at 7:00 pm.  The show is to begin at 9:00pm with seating. Guests will have the opportunity to check out Old City’s new modern lounge, while having their own private viewing of some of the newest, hottest fashion designs straight from Paris Fashion Week, and will have the chance to meet with the Raya Coiffure team.  This gives guest the ability to complete their look by discussing with the Raya team the latest hair and make-up trends Tickets are available for $20.00. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be benefiting the local Philadelphia Children’s Charity Adopt-a-Pig. This is a program designed to help children and their families cope as they face their greatest challenge, fighting cancer. Pediatric cancer patients and survivors paint and decorate piggy banks which sponsors adopt and begin collecting donations. When each bank is full, the change inside is counted and a check is sent to Adopt-a-Pig.  Please join us in this year's most fashionable event helping one of Philadelphia's remarkable charities.  There will also be a raffle held at the end of the event.  Prizes include three Raya Coiffure/Boutique gift certificates worth $300, $250, and $200, a Swanky Bubbles gift certificate, and a Sonia Rykiel handbag. Details for additional prizes will be announced at the event. Marani Vodka will be providing drinks for the event.  They have put together special martinis  to pay homage to the international fashion designer.  One of them will be lovingly named SR Redhead Punch and ode to the designer's independent flare and her famous red hair. Raya promises to provide the area with the hottest fashion show of the year, where the “who’s who” of the Philadelphia and Main Line area will be in attendance.  The runway exclusive promise is a guaranteed not miss event.  The event will be put together by The Nouveau Image, Philadelphia's new "goto" Marketing and PR firm. Raya Coiffure/Boutique is located in the prime area of the Main Line. Their high-end boutique  and Salon is filled with glamorous designs from names such as, Malandrino and Sonia Rykiel.  Raya provides a classy, elegant salon experience, in a comfortable atmosphere.  For more information call them at 610-645-0707.

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