I think it would be pointless (and a waste of space) to reproduce his "Rope-A-Dope" blog entry here in its entirety, but I will pick out sentences here and there.
"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, and dished out 5 assists, and there were several college coaches watching..."
Lesson for Mr. Alpha Elite celebrity/blogger/author: your sentence would look better, have better structure, and not be such a headache if it looked like this:
"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, dished out 5 assists and was being watched by several college coaches."
Actually, it would look MUCH better if it was like this:
"As a younger Arthur Kadyshes, I can remember (while warming the benches) watching the other basketball players drop treys, dish out assists and receive great comments that several college coaches (who were standing in a group near me) were making about them."
No, that's still not right. HERE'S what it should look like:
"
"
THAT’S the A-game authoring that I’m looking forward to reading in your book (that’s probably entitled “My Balls-ass, hot-ass celebrity life living on other people's couches”).
Did no one else see that, despite the length of the first sentence (mainly because of all the 'ands'), there was no 'AMAZING' in it? Zounds! Egads! Golly! The Al Gore of the blogging world is changing it up!
"It is that moment that was the first time Arthur Kade realized that he was a “Soldier”, a person who will fight to the death for a cause that he believes in, a super-human/half-man/half-mammal invention of nature that was born to be a wrecking ball of society, and that is when I made the choice in my head that I will never settle or share the victory with anyone."
Kind of like the soldiers we see in war movies that get all shot up when they're fighting for a cause they believe in? The ones who charge at the enemy, yelling heroically, the look of victory in their eyes….and then they get their torsos pumped full of lead because they were running across an open battlefield like morons? Those soldiers? I should photoshop your face onto the front line of “Operation Human Shield” in “South Park: Bigger, longer and uncut.”
You’re definitely a half mammal, the kind with an oversized snout (yes, yes, I know; an old joke, but still an easy one). You’re also correct when you say that you’re a wrecking ball of society; when people read your tripe, they start destroying whatever’s closest to them because they can’t believe a human being can be such a deluded juggernaut. Plus, you’ll never share the victory with anyone? Does that mean no Oscar speech? People who win Oscars make speeches as part of SHARING THE EXPERIENCE. Foot in mouth – you are the Kween of it.
“…because I look at challenges that are in front of me, and forget the strategy that is sometimes needed to win the war.”
Forget strategy! Just charge at the enemy with that hero-like “YAAAAAAAAH!” battle cry!
“As I was discussing this weekend with Papa Kade this morning…”
PAST morning. PAST. “As I was discussing this PAST weekend with Papa Kade this morning…” is what it should read. I discussed your bad grammar with your mom last night. It was tough to hear her reply because her mouth was constantly being jackhammered.
I wouldn’t doubt there were/are multiple press requests and radio interviews for you to do, because there are so many people out there who simply cannot BELIEVE a moron such as yourself is (a) still alive and (b) so full of himself it might pass for 5-10 minutes of entertainment and help fill dead time slots. Hey, people have to laugh at something, y’know what I mean?
“You know me, and I don’t like to share…”
BULLSHIT! You probably don’t like to share your homosexual tendencies, but sifting through a few pages of your website will provide people with PLENTY of information about you! If you didn’t like to share, you wouldn’t have started a blog with the tagline, “My journey to stardom.”
“…one of my favorite memories is playing at the J.C.C. (Jewish Community Centers for all my Non-Jew Kade Nation members out there) and Papa Kade had just bought me the newest Optimus Prime Transformer that weekend that no one had, and every kid was trying to play with me because they wanted to touch my beautiful huge toy, and one kid told me when I wouldn’t let him play with it, “Go back and play in the dirt where you belong”, and I proceeded to beat him senseless using Optimus Prime as a battering club on his head, getting me suspended from school for 3 days. When Mama Kade came to get me there, the teacher said to her, “I hate to say it, but I’m happy your son did that because someone needed to teach that boy a lesson in manners”.”
Someone should have taught your young, dumb ass a lesson in controlling your temper. What a waste of a good Prime toy. Had you kept that thing in excellent condition, you could have sold it for a lot of money by now on Ebay to help finance the journey, eh?
Kade, if you’re going to be an actor, you HAVE to have a plan B. HAVE TO! Ever since high school, I was told to have a backup plan in case acting didn’t pan out for me. I’m pretty damn sure you were told the same thing at some point in time. Good to hear that you’re ignoring it so we can see you crash and burn one day. Perhaps you’ll turn out like Samuel L. Jackson’s character from “Resurrecting the champ”: one day, some young chump will find your broke, homeless hide wandering the back alleys of Philly, and they’ll ask you a question that will lead to you spewing out your imagined life story of being a great actor back in the day. That young chump may take your word as gospel…until they find out the truth…then it’s back to the burning trash cans with you.
The rest of your post….yeah, we know the drill: lies, exaggeration and fantasy. And I’m sure the Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show was advertised as being “The Balls Ass Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show.” Oh yeah, that’s exactly what would attract the Gen Pop masses! Nothing brings out the dead like Balls and Ass.
Our lisping hero is debating getting a dog? Why, to fondle the thing’s junk on camera again, or to split a few bags of Pup-Peroni with it? And OH MY GOD, you’re REALLY MOVING TO LOS ANGELES? Kent, free up a couch (or closet or storage space)!
“…and it looks like I was just booked to work on one of the biggest TV Shows in the world on Thursday, and am just waiting for a confirm phone call before I announce it.”
And we shall hold you to that…especially if it doesn’t happen (yeah, like THAT’S ever been the case)! Why don’t you wait until it has been ABSOLUTELY CONFIRMED before EVEN MENTIONING it? You might as well say that you were “pretty much” booked for it, which is bullshit talk for “I think I am, but I don’t know.”
Check out the KadeFail bowling video:
What I would give for someone like Maddox or a group of 4channers to have at 'er with your tripe, Kade. What I would give...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Argh,sports and acronyms for I don't know what that have to do with sports. You have totally lost me.
ReplyDeleteI got my Window's 7 CD's from ASUS (my computer manufactrer) today. Anyone have it installed yet? Should I throw it on or hold off?
----------------------
Something about this story that totally confuses me. He is unwashed by his grammy but when he bashes a child in the head with a toy, his run-away mother shows up to handle it. How non-existant was the mother then? Was Kade actually cared for by his mother but claimed by his grandmother for child support to gain a few free dollars at tax payer expense?
Blimey LW, second wind or what? I suppose we are obliged to see this thing through, a gentleman enjoys his sport. Talking of second wind.......................The other day, whilst in company, I produced a rectal gas emission that actually ruffled the curtains. It was magnificent. Of course one would then expect my bowels, colon tunnel and rectum pipe to completely empty of vapour....but no, after a few seconds whereby I drew applause and praise from the company, I surprised, nay, shocked the entire gathering by letting off a stupendously loud fart...twice as loud and long as the initial bumpop. It tailed off into a high pitched scream as I forced out the last molecules of fart...... the proceeding silence was deafening. My friends couldn't believe what they'd just heard. One even thought I had a fart machine secreted on my person but I assured her the farts had indeed emanated from my anus - for the sake of exactitude I was even willing to allow her to smell my bare arse ring but she declined and just smelt the gusset of my trousers, and confirmed to all around that it did have a shitlike aroma to it.
ReplyDeleteSo I think what my point is, is that one can never be sure that the tank is empty. If there is sport to be had a gentleman must have it.
A final word on my arse trumpet experience - although some may be mystified as to how I was able to produce a second fart that exceeded the first both in volume and endurance, there is infact a medical explanation. What indeed occured was that it was ONE entire fart with a sort of intermission, with the second half (as is usual with second half performances) resulting in a crescendo - or in my case, a conflagration of sound. So, not as mystical an experience as we all thought at the time, but nevertheless, an entertaining evening was had by all courtesy of my performing arse.
Arrogant not humble, you don't understand
ReplyDeleteNot handsome, gruesome, is always what you'll be
Whether you are gay or straight, you don't get laid
All I need to see to make my eyeballs bleed is
The face of kade
The face of kade
No sense in denying, nose just like a shovel
Scooping up the blow, you call it the journey
24/7, rapey eyes smegma goo
Gargle your own shit, when you talk you spit
The face of kade
The face of kade
A bad name you give jews
You liar you're a tool
You think that cause you say maybe
Covers for what you do never
Useless ugly fame whore
Drinking so you can't see, everything you wont be
Freaky little creep, go brand in your hand again
Never will get laid, even if you paid
So back down on your knees, your face is a disease
The face of kade
The face of kade
..............and there one has the parallel with this site. We have, metaphorically speaking, a performing arse providing us with entertainment.
ReplyDeleteOne must be too select where pleasure is concerned. A gentleman, whilst on his own journey - a transient enough experience - must enjoy cuntery where cuntery is found. It's as simple as that.
...'the face of Kades'....fucking brilliant.
ReplyDeleteYou, Sir, have a gift.
[ Motorhead Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
ReplyDeleteIf you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
you win some, lose some, it's all the same to me
The pleasure is to play, it makes no difference what you say
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
the Ace of Spades
the Ace of Spades
Playin' for the high one, dancin' with the devil
going with the flow, it's all a game to me
7 or 11, snake eyes watching you
Double up or quit, double stake or split
the Ace of Spades
the Ace of Spades
You know I'm born to lose
and gamblin's made for fools
But that's the way I like it baby
I don't want to live forever
and don't forget the joker
Pushing up the ante, I know you got to see me
read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be
the Ace of Spades
the Ace of Spades
So he now claims to have gotten into Ivy League schools. First, bwhahahahhahahaha, secondly, does he think that he actually has new readers? That has to be it right? Why would he think he can through another lie from his past a year in and have the 50 people that still follow him believe it?
ReplyDeleteShit, throw another lie... His writing makes me stupid.
ReplyDelete@eg...
ReplyDeleteAny 'gift' I may have pales in comparison with your ability to
'paint a visual' that isn't soon forgotten.
shitlike aroma
ReplyDeleteAh yes, as you mentioned 'paint a visual'.......... the other day I was copulating with my young lady when, completely out of the blue, she urged me to ...'paint me face....paint me face...'.
ReplyDeleteNot too familiar with colloquial sexualisms I enquired ' what's that?'. 'It's when you ejaculate over my face', she replied, ' and I appear as if I have been painted in an abstract way, somewhat reminiscent of Kandinsky or Pollack'. 'Oh', I said, ' I understand'.
The problem is though, once I have exhausted myself of all feelings of ungodly lust, post ejaculate so to speak, the last thing I want to look at is my girlfriend's face covered in my mucky jittlum. I'd much rather deposit a batch in her anus or babyhole, that way it's all done and dusted.....as it was, I did feel a certain obligation and so decided to go against my better nature and presently she was looking like Jackson Pollock's radio -
I literally 'painted' her.
Hey Fin Face -- just saw your tanning video. Sure, it's idiotic to tan in pants and shoes -- but guess what else? YOU'RE FAT. Look at those abs, buddy! You've really packed it on, balls ass hot ass fat! Way to fail at yet one more thing... your alleged gym visits and supposed strict diet = BALLS ASS HOT ASS AWESOME FAIL. Good job Lisperado.
ReplyDeleteLooooove all the new posts. Keep them coming please!
ReplyDeleteAlso, Fin Face, just noticed the "Kaderoni" video. Douche, they do have snacks like that for humans, idiot. It's called pepperoni. You lisping, cokehead jack off.
ReplyDeleteHey Lispy McDouche, you know what I just realized? Your post on the Cleo magazine delivery can be sumarized by singing the mail song from Blue's Clues: "Here's the mail, it never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail - Mail!" Of course, Blue, and either host - Steve or Joe - are way more appealing than your stank a*s. So again, you FAIL! You are number one at failing, Mr. Drug Addicted Waste of Space.
ReplyDeleteOh, and before you even get to it, let me just tell you that any post you do in relation to the upcoming Olympics will be full of lies, exagerations and complete buffoonery. You are not now, nor were you ever, a high level athlete, and I can say with confidence that even any of the janitors in the Olympic Village have more talent in their pinky fingers than you ever can even dream of in that pea brain of yours. Plus, unlike you, they're employed! Fail again, Lispy. Fail again.