Showing posts with label ron hansen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ron hansen. Show all posts

1/4/10

2009: The Year of Kade's Failures in Review (Youtube video exclusive)

Like the rest of the world, we don't really give much of a damn about Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with "Crisco McLispo Fin Faced Failure"). However, 2009 was a pretty epic and humorous string of failures for our lying, lisping loon named Arthur Kadyshes. Here's a good way to start the new year, knowing full well that Kade is going to alienate even more people in 2010. Check out this video:




Please forgive us if we don't seem to care about this blog as much as we used to. It's really hard to put even 5 or 10 minutes into this thing when you stop and realize that Arthur is retarded and his enablers are just as classless and stupid as him. There is literally zero chance Arthur gets even one speaking part in any production ever, being that he's surrounded by an epic collection of losers and to get somewhere in media/entertainment, you need to have good people around you and have good connections to open doors. Kade has no connections and very low quality help--Last year he started off with Ron Hansen helping him get his site up and GN Kang acting as his videographer but those two have taken on lesser roles, only to be replaced by an inept and retarded midget named Chad Boonswang and a collection of poor, low class, aging failures at life named Sabrina "The Gunt" Strickland and Lindsay "Teefs" Furman (the girl with a reddish Lego Wig looking hairstyle). In other words, Kade brought "D" level game in 2009, so I see no reason for us to keep smashing him with our "A game".

The plan for this site is just to keep archiving the horrible and stupid things Kade says, so we'll have evidence of that when he goes ballistic and implodes. Arthur's most likely course of action, when his "acting career" fails, is to start working at the salon with step-mom Raya Yukhimov and Leonard Kadyshes (the dad who neglected him). It would be sad, except that Arthur Kade is a douchebag failure at life.
read more “2009: The Year of Kade's Failures in Review (Youtube video exclusive)”

10/26/09

Kade Goes Solo (The Hermit Kade)

One can only hope that Arthur's moving out of Ron Hansen's condo means it's yet another place he's been kicked out of! And will someone please tell Arthur that it's ridiculous to use the words "best selling author, soon to be bestselling book, bring me into the eyes of other NY Times Bestsellers like Clancy, Brown, and Steele as a leader of industry and someone they can look to as a protege and fellow genius, and groundbreaking piece of American literature?" HE HAS NOT WRITTEN A SINGLE THING YET!

More completely absurd ramblings from our favorite 31 year old 10 year old...



After an amazing 7.889 months, and bouncing around various apartments and residences where I have allowed myself to experience the trials, tribulations, and plight of my fellow “Working Actor” (I wanted to live a “Third World Lifestyle” in stages, and it has allowed me to stay grounded through these beginning stages of “The Journey”), The Brand is ready to move into his own apartment, and allow myself to now experience the full maturation of my creative genius, both with The Craft, as well as a best selling author. I have been searching for the last 2 weeks for a place that would give me the “Kade Style” existence that I am used to, as well as give me the privacy that a “High profile” individual needs to explore his inner soul in order to finish the creation of my TV Show with IMG Media, continue the writing of my soon to be bestselling book represented by Trident Media Group, as well as continue building my growing resume of acting, and I have found the perfect place. I will be doing a video of my new apartment this week to introduce Kade Nation to the new and improved Chateau Kade.I’ll miss the current crib and people, but this is another growing step for me as an artist.
Great artists need privacy to tap into their “Creative Well” (Many of the greatest minds like Socrates, Plato, and Nietzsche lived a hermit like existence), and now that I have no personal privacy with the website, tabloid, and journalistic coverage that I get on a daily basis (I can’t walk through Penn Station without someone commenting on my walk on Gawker), I need to have a place where I can escape the pressures of my success and just be Arthur Kade, the actor, the author, The Brand. Superman would escape to the Fortress of Solitude when he needed a break from saving the Gen Pop, and I haven’t had an emotional break in what seems like ages, and I need the space to spit everything inside of me out for the world to taste and enjoy.
It was extremely important for me to find this level of solitude right now because I am reaching an apex of where I need my talents to be on full display, and with all of the girls that I have either been bringing home or having sleepovers with, I need privacy knowing that we are alone and can enjoy amazing sex and potential threesomes where no one is coming in and interrupting or even creating an Erin Andrews situation that could hurt my brand (I am always nervous that their are people looking through my windows or sneaking in my current place trying to get behind the scenes footage of my crazy life). It is also vital that I keep it a short term residence (I will have the flexibility to leave faster than my current place which will keep me right on schedule with my move to KA in 2010 as well as allow me the financial flexibility to look for a part time place in KA earlier so I can travel back and forth with the creation of my hit TV Show, and the finishing up of my book (All I can say is that this book is “The Talk of the Town” and is going to be so cool, so unique, and so “Arthur Kade” that I think it will bring me into the eyes of other NY Times Bestsellers like Clancy, Brown, and Steele as a leader of industry and someone they can look to as a protege and fellow genius).
I wonder if when James Frey (NY Times Best Selling Author of “A Million Little Pieces”) and Anna David (Author of “Party Girl” and “Bought”), who are Both Mega Fans of Arthur Kade and “The Journey”, came down to Philadelphia to meet and experience me a few months ago for dinner, did they imagine that I would be joining their ranks as an acclaimed author so quickly, and what is their reaction now to everything I have accomplished so far? Are they proud of me for changing the game at such a rapid rate, are they surprised that everything I have prognosticated happening in “The Biz” has happened, and am I the talk of the literary community right now to the point that everyone is wondering what this book will contain, and whether it will become “A groundbreaking piece of American Literature along the lines of Hamlet, The Da Vinci Code, and The NoteBook?”.
“I Love when writers from Rolling Stone meet me out, and they know who Arthur Kade is, and I tell them “”You Guys should do a story on me”"”…Arthur Kade…10/25/09















read more “Kade Goes Solo (The Hermit Kade)”

8/31/09

Inside the Arthur Kadyshes Farce

A few days ago we revealed the fact that Arthur's roommate is Ron Hansen, the same guy who registered El Lego Wig's blog, using the ultra-exclusive GoDaddy.com, 5.9765 months ago. Several tipsters contacted this blog over the past few days, telling us that they've been laughing at Kade for months and now that our blog was running, they wanted to set the facts about Doucheboy's "journey" straight. I replied in true Kade Style: "well, using the word straight in the same sentence as Arthur Kade is questionable, but please share whatever information you would like".

It's important to keep in mind that all our information was volunteered freely and we are greatly appreciative. We confirmed that all these people know Doucheboy and have been giving us their honest opinions and observations. Looking back over the emails and texts, I'm going to make this the first post (of many) that will reveal what we've learned so far... I simply can't get it all into one post and there are still other parts that are unclear/need follow-up. If this post seems fragmented, it's because there is so much ground to cover and our tipsters have a lot more to tell us. Also, I'm trying to copy some of Kade's shitty writing tendencies in this entry (e.g. 5.9765 months, overuse of commas, overuse of quotes, and quoting myself in quotes).

Starting at the top, Ron Hansen is apparently a nice, quiet, shy guy. He wouldn't seem like the type to hang around with Arthur Kadyshes, but they have been roommates for several weeks now. Tipsters say the lease is in Ron's name, and Kade hasn't been on any lease in a long time. He's a house guest--he pitches in for rent sometimes, but not always. Before living with Ron, he was living in the living room of a student, after his first living arrangement ended badly. The arrangement with the student ended badly, too. Kade crashed with G-N Kang for a while, but we're not sure how long or why that situation end. Frankly, we're shocked that situation ended, because G-N is Kade's #1 enabler, shooting much of his video and pictures and generally encouraging Kade.

With Marissa Rosen out of the picture, G-N has become Artie's "go to" girl. Ron has stepped up into a similar role during the same time that many of Kade's "Players" have stopped returning calls or hanging out with him. At some point, Kade made it known that he was low on cash (tipster actually said he used the word "poor" back in the Spring when Kade still had some sense of reality) and presumably this made people avoid him. He started to get a reputation as a sponge/loafer/couch crasher.

Some informants have questioned Kade's choices with money after his gig with Ameriprise ended. For example, if Kade really "owned' a condo, like he claims, he must have had little or no equity in it or sold it for less than he bought it, because not long after, he was said to be hurting for money. He did buy a new car, but he is a bad driver, so he relies on public transportation "more than anyone else I know with a car". Maybe Artie just sucks at driving, or maybe he is hurting for money ($15 Bolt Bus to NYC) and wants to save on NYC parking, the tunnels and bridges, and gas money. How ironic that not only is Kade the ultimate, striving "Bridge and Tunnel" exemplar, he doesn't even drive up there, he uses the train and bus to go through those bridges and tunnels! In short, Art is the exact same "B and T trash" that he attempts to deride on his blog.

Back to the roommate/enabler situation... Ron (Arthur's roommate) is the "CEO" of a "marketing company" based in Perkasie, PA, which is apparently a hotbed of autoracing and marketing or, more likely, just a family home address. The address for WOT Marketing's "World Headquarters" is the relatively rural home address of 312 Harriet Drive, Perkasie PA... Check Google maps and you will be rolling on the floor laughing. (This is all public info available on WOT Marketing's site, by the way...) Hansen's also the guy behind the "Race Chairs" logo on Kade's site. We visited the link and it took us to an online shop of tacky leather chairs bought by people with no taste willing to blow money on something that belongs in the bedroom of an uncultured 14 yr old boy who has a hard-on for race cars. As far as helping Arthur, we've seen several videos where Athur brags that Ron ("a professional chef," said Kade) made him cereal or put some leftovers in the 'fridge. Awesome, Artie!

Sources agree that no respectable girl is going to want to accompany Doucheboy back to his den, but sources were divided on whether the apartment is in Camden or just a less desirable part of Philly. Our most trustworthy source said Camden, but we haven't been able to confirm it either way... the key is, Chatteau Kade is a joke. (Editor's note: four people emailed in and all agreed, the building in Kade's videos in 444 N. 4th St. in a non-"elite" area of Philly.)

Kade's worst housing situation was with the student, who is a quiet, no-nonsense guy, completely unlike Kade. The situation didn't last long and the student gave Artie the heave-ho for several reasons, including the reason that Kade sucks at paying his share. We checked it out, and we can comfortably say that the student (a med student at Jefferson) is far more intelligent and dedicated to his craft. We wish him the best and are sure he'll overcome the trauma of living with a guy who, we're told, doesn't shower much, doesn't use cologne (smells bad), and does indeed wear the same outfits (usually t shirts) over and over. Those pictures we saw of Kade's room with the disgusting carpet... those were not aberrations.

Kade's biggest enablers (there will be another in-depth post later) have been GN Kang, Marissa Rosen, Brett Perloff, Chad Boonswang, Tony Churchilio (mentioned in the Philly Magazine article as "Church"), Sabrina Strickland, and more recently Ron Hansen. Marissa Rosen, the cackler, moved away and since then, no one who knows Kade has wanted to be in a video or be seen publically backing him. We're not sure what effect the Lego Wig blog has had in Kade's "Players" circle, but we do know that the word is getting out within that circle of Philadelphians. Our tipsters all noted that they have passed the blog on to others who hang out with Artie and knew him when he was younger, when he was basically considered a quiet, shy kid, but basically a loser. Sources say it's unlikely we'll see any of Kade's friends voluntarily go on camera--they're too smart to put themselves out there next to a mysogynist with questionable career and fashion choices.

Our sources say that Kade's parents were initially supportive of Kade looking into modeling/acting, although they were wary that he was 31 and most parents would've said he should look for a real job. The sources say, however, that as time goes on, Kade's parents are questioning the whole thing and they think his parents are worried they're going to end up supporting Arthur when this all crashes. You can see tidbits of this where his step mother puts on a happy face (while giving him a ridiculous haircut that became the name of this blog) but soon after, his father questioned Kade's penchant for eating out at overpriced restaurants when he doesn't have the income to justify it.

Of all Arthur's people, G-N Kang (thank you to a reader for e-mailing the art displayed above) has been the most steadfast and supportive. Many people have told us that G-N is a nice person at first, but when you get to know her, she is obsessed with become a celebrity, somewhat like a female Arthur. Not content to be a sidekick on a third-rate local morning show, she wants to become well-known and has spent a lot of time and money to enhance her appearance (which anyone can see if they go to her webpage, which has a full section dedicated to her plastic surgeries). This fixation on looks is shared with the Lego Wig, a tie that binds the two together. G-N and Kade's friendship has seen cracks in recent weeks as Kade's "journey" has started to go off the tracks and show signs of craziness.

Speaking of craziness, club owners and restaurant owners have apparently noticed that Kade is unhinged--they actively dislike him. Apparently, servers and bartenders are in on it... a few weeks ago, at one of Kade's favorite restaurants, it is alleged that someone pissed in Kade's drink (a very slight amount) before bringing it to him. While Kade was drinking it and apparently not noticing, which was the idea, the service staff was laughing amongst themselves from the other side of the restaurant. The staff at Cosi dislikes Kade as well--regarding him as a moocher who mooches off free wifi by buying the absolute minimum. Apparently, Kade also believes he should get things "comped" -- free coffee, sandwiches, etc. He has tried this at Starbucks also... the word is that people are onto him and actively dislike him.

This brings us to the Mogul Room at "G". We have it from a good source that Kade is not allowed into the Mogul Room anymore, because the owners of "G" believe he is too much "drama"--meaning that he walks around with a camera, hectors people to take pictures, is openly mocked while out in Philly (Kade pretends they are "fans"), and Kade is usually wearing a t-shirt. Kade has continued to lie about his welcome status in the Mogul Room, but he is friends with Brett Perloff, so presumably he'll still be able to get into Brett's clubs.

Females who know Kade say he used to be more normal, almost like a regular person (only slightly deluded) but now he has become a pariah. Our best female source said Kade was a "7" before "The Journey" but now he's only a "4.5". The reasons are apparent--poor fashion, smells bad, moocher, bad skin, lego wig, bags under eyes, creepy persona, and ptosis. Needless to say, Kade should've stayed with the "Philly 6" he was dating prior to being dumped by her before "the Journey". Apparently, Kade's growing weirdness was a big factor in her leaving him.

Well that's all for now, like I said, there is a lot of info coming in and it takes a while to sort through the details. There is so much more to tell... until next time, keep checking the blog and have a great weekend!

Other loose odds and ends:
- Website data updated to include this weekend.... Since launching last Sunday (with no link posting or marketing the site on Sunday) we have had 37,000 page visits, from every continent except Antarctica.. Apparently this site is popular not just in the U.S., but the rest of the English-speaking world--Australia and the U.K. are right behind Canada, followed by several European countries, South Africa, and East Asia (e.g. Japan).
- Our site gets much more traffic than Lego Wig's own blog, gets many more comments, and has better fans. Look at our artwork section if you don't believe this.
-The average viewer to our site views 4.66 pages per day. Almost 80% of site visitors visit more than one page, for a "bounce rate" just over 20% ("bounce" is Google Analytics terminology for someone who views one page and bounces). Low bounce rate means this site draws people in to read more... good measure of success.
- We're growing every day. The most recent data shows that 29% of site visitors are new visitors. Help us keep adding to that--let your friends/coworkers know. Even if it's just scribbling a note on a sticky note and putting it on their desk.... it all helps get the word out.
- We get most of our traffic from people directly typing in our URL... however, our percentage traffic from search engines is increasing significantly... it's doubled in the last 4 days (although still far less than direct hits). It is funny that when people type in "Arthur Kade", they're starting to end up here... still a lot of room for improvement and we should be climing the search results each day. The average person who finds the site via search engine visits a whoping 6.5 pages, clearly a good audience for us. Imagine meeting Kadyshes out on the street and he tells you his name and you go home and Google it and then you come to this site... how hilarious would that be? Even better, imagine you type in "lego" and you end up here... apparently, people are doing this and coming to the site and reading it, instead of leaving. As Kadouches would say, "amazing".
- Upcoming: We're working on more stories about Kade's poor tipping, his sitting in expensive areas of clubs even though he usually only drinks soda (which he makes known to everyone), and Kade' open mockery by other people at bars. We'll have specific examples and a full round-up next time.
read more “Inside the Arthur Kadyshes Farce”

8/28/09

Preview: Kade lives in Ron Hansen's Windowless Den

That's a fact, ladies and gentlemen. The elusive "roommate" is none other than Ron Hansen, who recently moved out of his parents' house and now lets Kade live in his den. As Kade's ship has been struggling to turn around its nosedive, Ron Hansen has stepped in as other people have bailed.

This and other facts will be discussed in a story this evening. A brief teaser: what club owners hate Kade, why he was banned from the Mogul Room but continues to lie about it, how women really react to Kade in public, how he smells, how often he is mocked in public, who his chief enablers are (will name names), and more...

All of this is straight from people who know Arthur Kadyshes well and are laughing along with us at how he's ruining his life with his pathetic antics...

I'm on call today, but the wait will be worth it.
read more “Preview: Kade lives in Ron Hansen's Windowless Den”

8/22/09

Arthur Kade on the verge... of suicide? We can only hope.

Below is El Lego-wig's most recent, barely-readable offering. His new favorite hobby is saying "in the meantime" about everything... We can only hope that "in the meantime" between now and his next post he is hit by a very large truck or overdoses on cocaine with his enablers. Anyway, here is Kadyshes' newest garbage:


I received so many phone calls, BBM’s, and emails yesterday from friends and fans, asking me if my second audition for the possible pilot principal role went amazing, and after I left the audition, I jumped up and down, and pumped my fist in the air, and people in NYC were looking at me knowing that they were watching a budding superstar taking the next step of “The Journey”. I “High-Fived” 2 passer-byers, and pretty much strutted up Park Avenue, where people were looking at me like I was John Travolta in “Stayin’ Alive” (People always tell me I look like him when my hair is Poofy, and The Brand is now one step away from landing his first principle role, and having a chance to be part of such an original and groundbreaking project that, I could be the next Tony Soprano, and with the influence of my brand, my name, my images, and this blog, what network wouldn’t want to feature one of the “Most Up and Coming” actors of a generation (I am so excited I may piss my pants sometimes).

In the meantime, I ran into Dom from Entourage as well as my buddy Ryan Dorsey at G (Formerly of Z-Bar and now Partner/GM of Recess Lounge which I wrote about opening in September), and from what he said to me, “This is going to be the most exclusive lounge in Philly”, and he told me that he will only allow the top of the top crowd with memberships in, and the place is being designed in such a way that we will be able to dance “St. Tropez” style on the banquettes, and my favorite line of the night, “I interviewed 8 girls today, and don’t get me wrong they were all hot, but I don’t think I will hire any of them”, which tells me this place is going to be so off the charts, so “Kadeish”, and exclusive that New York peeps will want to come down to party with Arthur Kade and The Entourage immediately. My playground is about to take shape, and it looks like it will help me continue to transform Philly into a National Nightlife Powerhouse like my other cities that I dominate like KA and NYC, and I will be the Tony Goldman (The man who created Soho, NYC, and SoBe, Miami) of Young Hollywood.

In the meantime, a girlfriend just called me to let me know that I have a new famous fan in “The Biz” twittering that he’s reading my site (So many people don’t believe how many “A Listers” in “the Biz” are followers, I am being told the boys from Entourage love me, and the power of The Brand is getting more International and Cross-Centric), and a fan of “The Journey”, and he’s actually one of my favorite recording artists, Rob Thomas from MatchBox 20. I wonder if I could get him to play my next birthday party if I have it in France? By the way Rob, “This is How a Heart Breaks” is one of my top Ipod Songs still, and I loved when the NBA used it for the playoffs a couple years ago. Keep killing it “Kade Style”.
Here’s his twitter: “my friend turned me on to this. you’re welcome
http://arthurkade.com/ so cheese-tastic, it’s hard to believe it’s real.”









Comments are open... feel free to shout the truth about Kade's loserish pathetic douchebaggery.
read more “Arthur Kade on the verge... of suicide? We can only hope.”

8/20/09

Upcoming Topics

Arthur Kade: Coming out of the closet soon?

Arthur Kade: Psychopath or Sociopath?

The role of Ron Hansen and WOT Marketing in the Ruination of Arthur Kade

G-N Kang: Kade's Low Self-Esteem Partner in Crime

A Psychoanalysis of Arthur Kade (written by a Psychiatrist)
read more “Upcoming Topics”