HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION:

1. You start an "advice column" ("Ask Arthur", May 19th, 2010) that deals with mentoring and advice on dating, sex, relationships, career, and just basically living a “Sinatra-esque” life that you claim you will do on a weekly basis (you also refer to yourself as the White Oprah With Balls and think that this column is a serious step towards media domination of “The Biz”),

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He grins at his fantasy win while we facepalm at his reality failure.

How long can I keep doing this, you may wonder? Throwing out insults, marking his quotes in blue, calling him out on statements that I think are suspect...Well, I’m going to do it as long as it takes. I don’t believe Kade will kill himself, nor do I wish such a thing (not only for legal reasons but because I’m not quite that kind of asshole); therefore, this will go on for quite some time. I think that, by the time Kade decides to throw in the towel (which I suspect will take at least another year), everyone who started following Duh Gurney will be gone…and probably me, too (to be replaced by another Kater, no doubt). Until then, however…

read more “He grins at his fantasy win while we facepalm at his reality failure.”

Before the main event, I must catch up on the posts that I deliberately skipped over in the past two weeks...

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Kennerley vs. Kade 2: the video.

http://www.kerri-anne.com.au/index.php

read more “Kennerley vs. Kade 2: the video.”

Weekly catch-up

I’m going to start with a few items that I should have included in the last post I did (which was “Showtime, Kadester!”):

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Showtime, Kadester!

To help spread Arthur's popularity, I've created the following video for the Gen pop in order that they may understand the greatness that now befalls them...

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Katchin-guh up with Kade.

With the exception of 3 videos, all of the “Kade Nation Obsession Videos” are simply videos that have been uploaded to or are favorited by the LegoWigKade Youtube channel. It doesn’t upset me that he has done this. Why? Because he WANTS to upset me.

read more “Katchin-guh up with Kade.”

The Bland and his FAIL Nation...

From the “30 rock” blob…

“As A rising celeb, and future Oscar/Emmy Winner…” – Bullshit.

“…you get the ability to choose which amazing projects you get to work on…” – Horseshit.

“…and which ones don’t make that much sense for your resume or image…” – Goatshit.

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LWK, the REAL Kade News Network (just like FOX news: biased as hell).

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

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Arthur's Personality Disorder Discussed in New Blog Entry

I'm pressed for time, but I'll follow this up later with some thoughts.






For now, read the article and post thoughts/reflections below.


LWK

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Kade’s personal copy of CLEO magazine should be shredded…then sprinkled all over his bleeding face…after an Aussie gives him a good ol’ down-under beating

Some of you may be thinking, “Oh no. ANOTHER blog by Kade and ANOTHER hack job by LWK on that blog.” Well, you won’t be disappointed. It doesn’t depress me that Kade is furthering his whacko mind with his website; as a matter of fact, it entertains me and makes me laugh that a 32 (when’s his birthday?)-year-old man with dreams of becoming an actor would post a video of himself talking about “cleaning the spit off” his “thing” after showing a glimpse of his “celebrity life” (a.k.a. unwashed clothes on the god damn floor)

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Kade is a dope whose website would get more hits if his waste-of-cumB body was hanging at the end of a rope

I think it would be pointless (and a waste of space) to reproduce his "Rope-A-Dope" blog entry here in its entirety, but I will pick out sentences here and there.

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Kades New Twitter Bio is Exactly Why People Hate Him

Name Arthur Kade

Location Kadealot, Kearth
Web http://www.arthur...
Bio The Brand-Future Oscar Winning Actor and NY Times Bestselling Author

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

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Arthur's Big Announcement - He's Going to Sundance as a Wannabe Actor

Arthur teased for an entire day about some big announcement yesterday, and in the end it was simply that he's going to the Sundance Film Festival at the end of this month - something anyone can buy tickets to attend. He wasn't invited. Instead, since he thinks he's a celebrity and part of Hollywood, he thinks he's going to go there and "compare notes about “The Journey” with fellow stars from “Old and Young Hollywood” like Robert Redford, Zac Effron, Paris Hilton, and Joel Schumacher." Yeah, seriously, he wrote that. A guy who has never acted in anything, never spoken a single line in any movie, calls these people "fellow stars."  Not only that, he also thinks that various industry people are going to be interested in an as yet undeveloped, unfilmed, unseen TV show that he lies about constantly and has the nerve to call a hit, not to mention an unwritten, unpublished, unread book that he constantly calls a New York Times Bestseller.
Grab a garbage bag, because you're about to throw up.

Many Gen Poppers have been asking The Brand as to why he skipped leaving town for an amazing and extravagant trip on NYE like he normally would (Last Year was amazing trip to Kadeami where on NYE I partied with Macy Gray and Jared Leto at The Setai and Mokai), and I have been promising that “The Year Of The Brand” would have many surprises to tickle the underbelly’s of Kade Nation around the globe (This is just the first with me unwrapping another special gift for The Gen Pop in a few weeks), and the first answer to both of those questions is now unveiled. Anyone in “The Biz” knows that the long-running Sundance Film Festival is regarded by movie makers as the most famous and premiere Indie film festival in Kademerica, and now one of “The Biz’s” fastest rising stars as an actor, author, and talent, Arthur Kade, will be in attendance. The Brand will be attending the first week of the festival (All people in “The Biz” know that The first week is the one that features all of the “A-List Talent, so I wanted my fellow “Crafters” to get the chance to meet me) with many of his “A-List” peers on The Craft and Directorial side, and it will mark the beginning of a new era for the festival with the attendance of such a rising and polarizing star, and I actually joked with one of The Entourage tonight at dinner, “If people thought Vinnie Chase had a great time in the land of “”Hollywood on Ski’s”", wait until they see the recipe Arthur Kade will be cooking up there”.

The Sundance Film Festival will be taking place in Park City, Utah starting January 21st, and it will be amazing to sit down and compare notes about “The Journey” with fellow stars from “Old and Young Hollywood” like Robert Redford (The Founder Of the festival who I would love to talk to about my unique career path, and how many “Bizzers” believe Arthur Kade will revolutionize the modern acting world and maybe even give some advice to other up and coming actors), Zac Effron, Paris Hilton, Joel Schumacher and others that will be attendance, and I am curious to see all of the potential mega-attention that I get from agents, publicists and fellow Talent asking me about the revolutionary hit TV Show that I have been building with IMG Media for months, and how the authoring of my NY Times Bestseller is going with Trident Media Group, as well as comparing notes with fellow “Bizzers” on the various projects we are all working on at the moment for 2010, plus it will give The Brand a chance to meet and network with well known producers and directors who probably know who Arthur Kade is already after only 10.0012 months into “The Journey”, and perhaps even get a deal done to deliver lines or star in one of their up-coming movies (I was telling another friend today when I finalized the trip, “How cool would it be to have someone just say, “”I think Arthur Kade would be a great fit in my next movie. I wonder if he’s interested?”"”).

The other part of Sundance outside of the ability to see the movies and stars of tomorrow like myself, is that it is one of the great Hollywood party events of the year because every night there are exclusively sponsored parties and satellite clubs featuring fellow celebs and performers (I wouldn’t be surprised to see Usher or Alicia Keys hit the stage to sing), and the hottest tail from KA and NYC comes in for the skiing, snowboarding (I don’t really snowboard anymore because years ago while in doing it in Jackson Hole I hurt my ankle and ended up having a stress fracture that required 6 weeks to heel), and ability to meet future TV/Movie/Author stars like an Arthur Kade. It will be great to meet girls at parties in the village, or on the slopes, and bring them back for private Jacuzzi parties or a brilliant night of “Kadeing”.

Either way, this will be a bit of a coming out party for The Brand where many KA “Bizzers” who have been dying to meet him will now get their chance, and relationships will hopefully be built that will help me continue to redefine The Craft, “The Biz”, and take “The Journey” to new heights, as well as potentially meet a KA 9 or 10 to have some fun nights with that can be my “Cali-Girl”. I am also looking forward to building relationships with The Press and Papparazzi (I have been featured already on sites like The Insider and USA Today, but I would like to extend my reach further to People and US Weekly) there that will be covering The Brand for years to come, and many of them will be hearing about “The Journey” for the first time.

“The Craft evolves with it’s artists, and Arthur Kade is it’s New Darwin”…Arthur Kade…01/04/09

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Arthur Kade Dresses Like an Idiot for New Years Eve and Calls It Couture

We all knew Arthur would usher in the New Year in Philly and that he would do so wearing some form of unattractive, inappropriate attire. Well, the jacket, shirt and pants weren't so bad. What we don't get is why in the holy hell he was wearing 3D glasses from Avatar (stolen, obviously) with the lenses popped out. He looked like some kind of deranged 1930's gangster merged with a Groucho Marx doll with that cheap wool fedora and those glasses. Even more astonishing is that he calls this "couture." For those of you that don't know, couture is defined as the following: "...the creation of exclusive custom-fitted clothing. Haute couture is made to order for a specific customer, and it is usually made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finish, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques." As a commenter on his site pointed out, a Calvin Klein off-the-rack jacket, off-the-rack pants, a tuxedo shirt, and a costume shop fedora do not equal couture. 
It's still amazing to us that Kade doesn't even try to appear intelligent. He really thinks that outfit is couture because he doesn't even know what the word means. He just likes to throw terms out there and see what sticks. 
So it's 2010 and Kade promises this will be "the year of the brand." We at LegoWig fully expect this year to be nothing but more of the same: more failed auditions, no speaking lines, very little press, more drugs, more nights out at clubs, more calling himself an international celebrity without ever leaving the country, more lies that he has millions of fans, more alienation from his friends, and in general just more and more bullshit, because that's all Arthur Kadyshes can offer the world - BULLSHIT.
After an amazing New Years Eve in Philly (I decided to stay at home because a) it was probably Arthur Kade’s last New Years in Philly, and b) I am working on something right now that will be much more advantageous for “The Journey” that I will hopefully be announcing shortly) at a private party at the newest Not Yet Opened restaurant on the 37th floor of 2 Liberty called R2L, and then Recess, it is time to go back to work “Kade Style” and make this the year where The Brand becomes a Global Icon, and takes his next step to Lil’ Oscar. My computer has been malfunctioning since New Year’s so I am fully operational, and will resume regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow.

A note about these photos - Arthur's stupidity shines like a star considering he uploaded and posted several completely blurry photos. But then we realized, what a great thing he did for us! It's actually so much easier to look at these pictures when his hideous nose, rapey eyes, chapped lips, and neck acne are not plainly visible. So we ask this of you Arthur: please post all blurry photos from now on, OK?

Look folks! Arthur took this home and had sex with it!

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Arrival in Miami Not Kadeami

So Arthur arrive in Miami yesterday... he can't believe the pilot didn't recognize him... he thought the pilot said "have a nice day" because it was him, not because pilots say that to everyone as they leave the plane... he took a video at baggage claim, wearing a self-painted t-shirt that says "Kade Style" on the front and "Kade Out" on the back... he checked into the W hotel as if he were checking into a million dollar a night palace, as if what he's doing is inaccessible to the "gen pop" he so despises... he posted an absurd amount of childish and immature twitter posts about where he was... he thinks he's a "jet setter" when he's only flying for the second time all year... and he thinks he's an international jet setter when he has not even been out of the country this year at all... he thinks he thinks that flying and checking into a hotel and having lunch is "more than most gen-poppers do in a week."

Miami, we feel so sorry for you. We're sorry that this talentless creep from Philadelphia is visiting your town and thinks he owns the place. We're sorry you have to be infected with the disgusting head-to-toe nightmare that is Arthur Kade. We're sorry that this guy is walking about taking photos and videos constantly, and posting to Twitter from his phone. We're sorry that a person who has accomplished nothing thinks he is going to "dominate" your city as if he is a multi-million dollar earning celebrity. We sympathize with you, truly.

All lies and unprovable nonsense are highlighted below:

It’s official that The Brand has arrived in Kadeami, and the amazing Gen Pop domination that Arthur Kade is famous for is about to begin at levels this city hasn’t seen in years. I have gotten emails from Kade Nation Fnas from around the globe begging me to update as much as possible to see if I meet a “Drought” Breaker, How the audition and Potential Gig go on Saturday and Sunday, and most importantly to view how a celebrity and International “Jet Setter” in his prime, parties in one of the hottest cities in the world. There are many private parties that we have already been invited to, and plenty of vagina to spread around, and knowing that I have a killer audition for “The Journey” this weekend is just a cherry on top because all I have been hearing about is how December is a “Dead Month” for auditions and work, and how every casting director and “Bizzer” is checked out until January, but the fact that I have booked multiple auditions and a potential “Warrior Role” on a film are a testament to my fortitude to The Craft, especially while authoring a hit book and developing a hit TV Show. I have already met some fellow models that will potentially be joining Philadelphia’s favorite son tonight (The best moment of the day so far was a random Kade Nation Fan stopping me outside the W on Collins, and saying, “You’re that Guy from Philadelphia!!”, and I smiled and said “I’ll write about you on ArthurKade.com tonight, what’s your name or let’s do a video?”, and he replied, “I can’t do a video, but thanks man”, and rolled off into the street).

Here are the details from my arrival so far, Pictures and vids from the hottest hotel in Miami, The Newly Opened W Hotel (This place is so “Kade Style”), and the 5 star Setai Hotel where we just grabbed a quick dinner before hitting the invitation only parties that only Arthur Kade gains access to (The crazy thing is I have only been here 3 hours and The Brand already has done more than most Gen Poppers do here in a week) and I’m interested to see what celeb friends I run into and exchange “Biz” talk with about my progress and updates on “The Journey”. I may take it a bit easier tonight just because Friday and Saturday are going to be insane with dinners, events, and clubs, but anytime I say that, I wake up with an NYC 9 or 10 next to me, wondering how she got there and how I will get her to leave.

“”Jet Setting” isn’t about where you travel, but what stewardesses you get to play with in your personal private Jet”…Arthur Kade…12/03/09

Finally, we grabbed this image from the YouTube video above. Yes folks, it appears that he used stencils and spray paint to make a shirt that says "Kade Style." There really are no words that define how totally stupid this is.

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Tiger's Women, Wherein Arthur Thinks He's Equal to Tiger Woods

People, your mind is bound to explode after reading even 1/10th of the post below. How can anyone - even a person as stupid and deluded as Arthur Kade - honestly think they are comparable to Tiger Woods? Does Kade giggle when he writes crap like this knowing he's just trying to get a reaction? Does he really believe it? How in the world does someone who is hated by everyone, who has not acted in anything, who has not writen anything other than his abysmal blog think he's at all relatable to Tiger Woods?

Lies and nonsense Kade can and will never prove are highlighted below:

Being a celeb like Tiger Woods, and having girls throwing themselves at The Brand everywhere he goes because of the popularity of “The Journey”, I completely understand why Tiger did what he did, and the type of temptation that comes with being in “The Public Eye” and not just a regular Gen Popper. I have girls who want monogamy all the time, but it’s so hard to commit when you’re a future Acting and NY Times Bestselling star because you will feel guilty if you cheat, but also it can hurt your marketability and endorsements. I Think it is important to take Tiger’s situation and breakdown the ratings I have for each girl involved, talk about his apology statement, and have a heart to heart to with every celeb figure like The Brand, as to some tips as to what to do to avoid getting caught when you’re cheating (People ask me all the time “Kade, have you cheated?”, and the answer is always, “Maybe?”). People like Tiger and Arthur Kade always have tabloids following us (I have attached a new Gawker ((Or should I just call it “Gawkade” because of all the coverage they give me on a 24/7 basis)) article that labels me under the term, “Heroes” and talks about the character research I will be doing for my potential “Warrior Role” in a feature film with one of my great Body Pics of the year from Arthur Kade), and it is nearly impossible not to get caught in this media age for M.I.M.’s (Moguls in the Making), so this is why I sometimes question whether The Brand can ever settle down at all? Here is the Gawkade article and my Tiger thoughts:

http://gawker.com/5416504/arthur-kade-touches-little-oscar

1) The Wifey (KA 8.8)- Elin is a very attractive and sexy girl, but from moment one, I have always viewed her as “Mother Hot” rather than “Stripper Hot” (The Angelina Jolie Syndrome that gets worse with each kid, hence why my future mate and Arthur Kade may just adopt African children and teach them about Judiasm), and she has great legs, nice firm tits, and a pretty Scandinavian Face, but I can see where he would stray because she just doesn’t have that “I want to take you in the bathroom and ravage you look”, but yet I could see her being great at a black tie event talking to all the other mothers about the dining set she just bought. At Times shes looks a bit manly, and her legs aren’t long enough for a high level model, and in this picture I feel like her nose is a bit thick for her face which would prompt me to pay for her to thin it a bit, and it gives her kind of a Gina-Lee Nolan Look which went out with Pam Anderson in the 90’s.

2) Rachel Uchitel (NYC 9.3)-Arthur Kade has met Rachel in person in NYC, and I can honestly say that she is one of the hottest and sexiest “Non-Celeb” girls that I have ever encountered in that city, and the way she carries herself is beyond sexual, but yet she has a “St. Tropezish” quality about her that makes her stick out in a crowd with beautiful hair, amazing lips and legs, great olive skin, and the “I Run This Town Swagga” that only entities like The Brand can display, and she would be a 9.8-10 if she were younger (It is so hard to give any girl over 30 higher than a 9.5) and a celeb (Although someone said today, “She is a celeb now”), so maybe that will elevate her rating. When I met her at Griffin, there were a bunch of models and supermodels in the room and at our table, and I remember saying to my friend who I had a table with, “She dominates all of those girls”. She denies the affair though, but I can understand why Tiger would.

3) “Hooters Special” (KA 6.8)- Jaimee is not attractive at all, and I just don’t get what my man Tiger was thinking, especially because he has a “Frisbee Face” (A Face that is round like a Wham-O Frisbee), smaller “Pancake Tits”, and looks like a typical trashy girl that you could find at a Hooters in Jacksonville, FL who is married by 22, has three kids, and smoke cigarettes whil serving you food. She has a nice lower body, and there is a certain trailer park Trashiness sex appeal about her where I could see having sex with her in every position possible, but I could also see her being a “Pin Hole In the Condom Girl”, that would lure Tiger into making some more “EuroAsian” babies. She reminds me of a girl that I met in “PB” (Pacific Beach), San Diego who I met at MoonDoggy’s and ended up rescheduling my flight home to Philly on a Sunday for great sex at her apartment, but never called again because I could never bring her home to Mama Kade.

The Apology:

Listening to Tiger’s concise apology was perfect, because the trick to not getting into more trouble when you have already been caught for cheating is just say “I am Sorry” or “My Bad” and this will help keep the lid on the other girls that will start coming out of the walls claiming you had sex with them or impregnated them. I am a huge fan of the “Deny, Deny, Deny” approach to cheating, but this is where celebrity can get us all, because you have unlimited resources in the mags that cover us like US Weekly and People who will go to all ends to get interviews and investigate everything going on, and then when it comes out Arthur Kade can look like one of His “Man Crushes”, Bill Clinton after Monica sucker punched him. Never release more info than needed, and hope it goes away, but something tells me Tiger has a “Kade Style” headache ahead.

Some tips to avoid getting caught cheating when you’re a celeb like Arthur Kade:

1) Use a “Kade Phone” (Like a “Bat Phone” but better as a “Kadeism”) where you have a separate phone that can never be linked back to you, and one that you’re wife or piece will never find. make sure it rings anonymous when you call as well.

2) NEVER Leave Voicemails, BBM’s or Texts-This is ultimately what sunk Tiger with the Hooters Girl, because now she has concrete proof that they have a relationship. Arthur Kade only leaves voicemails when it’s friends, and they have to be general in nature like, “Hey, it’s The Brand, give me a call back”, and keep his BBM’s and Texts to a minimum (Not that I really have anything to hide because I’m not married, and it’s my job to take down 9’s and 10’s and do or say whatever it take to make it happen for Kade Nation)

3) Pack your own Condoms-This prevents the piece on the side from “Pinning” it or giving you an old one that is apt to break, and a when a girl is fame hungry, they will do just about anything in their delusional world to lock down stars like Kade and Woods.

4) Communication goes through your “Reps” or “Team”-Never talk directly to the girl by any media source that can be tracked, but instead have your agent, publicist, or manager make all the arrangements for any “Get Togethers”.

5) Fuck, but don’t be seen- Always have little get-aways that you can meet the girl where no Gen Poppers can ever see you or report on you (Dubai during a HUGE Golf tournament is a perfect example of where not to meet), and this way you can send the message to “The Piece” that, “This is just sex, hence why the Wifey gets the Mansion, and you get the Motel”.

6) NEVER say-”I love you”, “I’ll leave my wife”, “This is the best sex ever”, or my all time favorite, “I made a mistake marrying her”.

7) Never complain about money or Pressure in front of her-It’s hard to believe Tiger actually complained about not being “Financially Stable” (Hasn’t He Made a Billion Dollars already?) or “The Pressure Gets to me” because for warriors like him and us, we can never let anyone know this. We live for the pressure, and it is in that pressure where we excel the most, but I think this is Tiger’s way of letting Gen Pop Girls look at him like more of a human, and thus give him better sex.

 8) The Aftermath-If and when you’re caught, and out of options, pull a “Kobe”, and cry in public, say you love your family, and of course buy your wife a $4 Million Dollar ring to make her support you in public. The whole “Wife stands By Me” move goes so far in the public’s eyes, and make you look more Gen Poppish, rather than an arrogant celeb.

“Being a celebrity means not ever being able to hide when you’ve fucked up, so make a bunch of money so that you can buy your way out”…Arthur Kade…12/02/09

read more “Tiger's Women, Wherein Arthur Thinks He's Equal to Tiger Woods”

EU Syndrome

He gets worse with each post. He is a piece of shit, low class Philly asshole. If I had a child that grew up to be 1/10th of what Arthur Kadyshes is I would become a politician so I could change the abortion laws to make it legal to abort up until and including the 103rd trimester. More lies and delusion from the Cock Gobbler himself, Arthur Kadyshes... 

Gen Poppers come up to me and tell me all the time how amazing and glorious it is to see “The Journey” succeeding, and how amazing it must be to live this “Celebrity Life” of Arthur Kade (Just seeing Molly Weiner’s ((Whose whole fam is all rooted in “The Biz”)) reaction to seeing the “Kade Show Live” made me realize I am a once in a lifetime attraction), and for the most part, it really is awesome to know that I am on my way to becoming an award winning actor and author while developing a hit TV Show with IMG Media, and a New York Times Bestseller with Trident Media Group, but there are sometimes The Brand looks in his mirror at Chateau Kade, and thinks about how much he has changed emotionally throughout “The Journey”, as I complete my transformation from ultra-successful socialite/entrepreneur to “Global Marketing Icon”. Arthur Kade now looks in the mirror, and sees a person who is so passionate about his professional and social life in becoming a M.I.M. (Mogul In The Making) and yet so “EU” (Emotionally Unavailable) in his private life towards girls he sleeps with, his family and friends, and even his fans (I am becoming a global sex symbol where I have girls pretty much throwing themselves at me at all times, and yet 99% of the time, I see nothing there but a Vagina and a quick conquest while they all want me to “Wife” them), and wonder if this inability to commit to anything other than my thrust to Oscar winning Actor hurts me as as a Gen Pop Role Model and also as an actor.

Friday night was interesting, because I had a friend out again from KA (I am not sure that he has ever seen the type of Gen Pop Domination that I demonstrated Weds. and Friday nights where he actually told me at Recess, “Your stamina is remarkable) who saw me A) Make out with two girls simultaneously at Recess for at least 10 seconds not once but twice (This was so sexual that I think I had a massive erection the whole time thinking what a threesome with them would be like and having 2 different tongues thrust into my mouth like little hammerhead sharks), B) Stop a girl who works at a restaurant who I was sure hated me with her friend, and after several minutes of Kadeish charm, her and her friend were doing shots with me and playing the “Ice Cube Game” (This game is where you put an ice cube in your mouth and transfer it from mouth to mouth in a kissing motion and I actually had 4 girls playing with me in the middle of The Mogul Room at G and people’s faces around us said, “Only Arthur Kade could have 4 girls locking lips with him to get ice” and it’s funny because anytime I play that game an extra tongue touch happens so I wonder if that counts as “Hooking Up”), C) Dancing on all the raised speakers at Recess with girls and the Drummer to where one of the guys at DelFriscos said, “When we walked in, You were a dancing machine”, D)Having one of the prominent club owners of Philly say, “You are really the King Of Philly Now”, E)Having a Philly 5.86 who my friend called “Mr. T” tell me style was impeccable but that was so annoying that I literally turned my back when she tried to convince me Playboy was “Up Her Ass” and F) A girl who came up to me and said, “You have some HUGE Website, can I take a pic?”, and after we took it, she said “What’s the site by the way?” and I asked the bouncer to get her out of my sight immediately (If you don’t know who Arthur Kade is, then do not approach him). I am a social and acting god in “The Biz”, and had my friend in KA call my blog “Brilliant”, and “Fresh” and tell a friend in “The Entourage” at G, “His content is so obsessive and funny” (It’s weird to hear my writing and life referred to as “Content”, but that’s how we “Bizzers” refer to a living organic element like my blog), but like any genius, sometimes I question certain aspects of my life, and whether my pioneering Brilliance is a gift or a curse?

The question for Arthur Kade is have I become like Jason Bourne in “The Bourne Ultimatum” where I have become such a tremendous acting and writing “killing machine”, that I am sometimes losing the essence of who Arthur Kade really is? The Brand has always rated girls, used and had the hottest ones, and been the best at what he did professionally (I was called a “Living Legend” at my Old Company by a former Senior Vice President), but has “The Biz” and this sex symbol status jaded me to a point where normality no longer exists, and I have to be a “Frank Sinatra” like influence all the time on the Gen Pop, and will it ever allow me to be more than just a media giant/corporation? Am I losing the “human side” of Arthur Kade, and truly becoming a well-oiled killing machine who only hooks up with 9’s and 10’s and desires Little Oscar in his bed, and has to deal with Press/Media and Paparazzi, but nothing else? Will I get to a point where even Caviar is not good enough anymore, and the threesomes aren’t enough, and the money isn’t enough, and will this insatiable hunger for vagina, awards, and recognition actually not allow me to be happy and just become a media and sexual robot who dies aloof like Marlon Brando?

I have always wondered why so many celebs are so unhappy ,and considering I am one of them now after only 8.8991 months, I can tell Kade Nation that it really is everything it’s cracked up to be, but in the end, it’s not about the money and Fame, but still about the Emmy, Oscar, and Pulitzer, and I think that’s what has kept Arthur Kade so grounded. I can live a “Third World Lifestyle” (No Furniture, Blogging in a Beach Chair, Going to Kade’s Corner at Cosi everyday I’m not making a TV Show, Writing a Book, or being featured in a Movie) while dominating KA and NYC, but considering I just booked a feature film audition (I will blog this next) because I will be training on warrior fighting techniques to prepare for it, I am more excited about that than anything else.

“The Craft is what brought Arthur Kade to fame and sex symbol status, and it is what will keep his Legend alive. Welcome to Kadealot”…Arthur Kade…11/29/09

I also want to give a “Kade Style” Shout out to Fellow Celeb Fan, Zach Galifianakis, (The Hangover, HBO’s Bored To Death), who I heard mentioned he was a fan of The Brand and “The Journey” on the Comedy Death Ray podcast on I-Tunes. 

read more “EU Syndrome”

Fan Mail From The U.K. (United Kadeom)

He. Brags. About. Almost. Sex. He also gets an e-mail from someone claiming to be from Oxford University who doesn't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE. Arthur Kadyshes is a real moron with no ability to differentiate between reality and fantasy, but we already knew this. God I hope he OD's this weekend. More bullshit from fin faced walking Ipecac, Arthur "rhymes with radishes" Kadyshes...

When you’re building an amazing “Global” influence like The Brand, you receive emails from around the planet, and it’s funny to see how HUGE Arthur Kade is getting in the U.K..(It’s incredible to know that many of the best actors are imported from the U.K, and the fact that I have built such a tremendous following there tells me that not only are my acting skills at almost Oscar level like some of their best like Hopkins, Thompson, and Olivier, but they appreciate the ushering in of “The Modern Actor”, and the “Kade Style” lifestyle I have developed while becoming a “Living Legend”), and I wanted to showcase a couple emails that I have received from The U.K., and prestigious universities like Oxford who absolutely worship “The Journey”. I also just booked an enormous audition that I will blog shortly, and the various lessons that I will be doing to prepare for it.  I have also included an email from a Kade Nation Member from outside Harrisburg, PA asking me for restaurant advice and I am answering it.

1) “greetings mr kade from northampton england! Just wanted to drop you a line to say i love the blog! Read it every day at work to get me through the boredom, and it always makes me laugh! Keep up the good work! There’s even a low but audible Kade buzz over here in the Uk now. You should totally come over here and turn the uk into the UKADE. anyway, i know you’re a busy man. Keep chasing the dream arthur. A man who doesn’t dream is not a man at all- if thats true, then you’re one hell of a man. All the best, Paddy.”

2)”hi arthur,
im writing from oxford university england, where your picking up a strong following. You really are global man! We love your work and the way you really LIVE and LOVE ‘the journey’. Will your new book be available in the uk or will we have to order a copy from the states.
peace and love man
kade-out”

3)Hi Arthur:

I need you to please tell me a really hot, upscale place to eat in Philadelphia, no sushi.  I love your blog and I totally trust your taste. Forever a fan of yours,

Jessica

Answer:

1) Buddakan (Asian Fusion)-my favorite restaurant in the city because the drinks are great, there usually some 20-25 year old Philly 9’s who if you buy a drink and show some charm, they may go in the bathroom and provide great oral sex, and the food is hot Asian Fusion, and the atmosphere and environment is very “Kadeish”.

2) Tinto (Tapas)-Amazing Tapas, and it is right off Rittenhouse so after you are done you can walk over to G Lounge and watch The Brand with some crazy ass all over him, and even buy him and The Entourage a drink or two to say thank you.  Atmosphere is very trendy, and I have been told that everybody there is a fan of “The Journey”, so you might want to mention your Kade Nation, and they might hook you up with extra food or alcohol.

3) El Vez (Mexican)-More of a younger crowd with good Mexican Food, and I will never forget when I went there with a girl after finishing class and we walked down to the bathrooms, and started making out and when she felt the bulge in my pants, I thought she may cum standing up because she told me that her boyfriend and her didn’t have much sex anymore.  It was so passionate, and then we killed Rosa Lunas to celebrate the night of almost sex we had.

4) Parc (French Bistro)-Right on the square, it is very similar to Pastis in NYC, and I would recommend the roasted chicken and escargot.  The Atmosphere is very NYC, and you can easily run into a celeb along the levels of Bruce Willis, Owen Wilson, Arthur Kade, and even Jack Nicholson.  It’s not as trendy, but a very solid choice, and you will easily run into coin chasing Cougars who are all looking for Ballers like The Brand and The Entourage, so be careful if you have a man that is horny and you’re giving him great sex.

By the way, if you are a Philly 9 or higher, then email me, and either I or one of my friends can make sure you have some fun, but I don’t think I have ever encountered a girl from that part of the state who is hot, so don’t bother if you’re not.

“Arthur Kade writes it.  They Hate it.  We Live It”…Arthur Kade…11/27/09

read more “Fan Mail From The U.K. (United Kadeom)”

A Night Of Giving Thanks To The Brand

Thanksgiving to me means just putting this up without reading it. I don't want to vomit up my turkey dinner. Too many pictures on his site for me to start pulling them off and putting them here also. I'll get around to this at some point later on Friday. I'm just guessing now, but I gotta imagine that this is more stupidity, lies and delusion from Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with radishes)...

If I could unzip my “Kade-Suit”, step out of my amazing body, and just observe what hanging out with Arthur Kade is like, I think I would be amazed at what one friend last night called “The Kade Experience”, because everyone in The Entourage has become so accustomed to my “Kade Style” VIP domination when I go out that I have become jaded as to the affect that I have on people when they see the “One of the Premiere Socialites” of Philadelphia, NYC, and KA in action. Hanging out with Arthur Kade when he is killing it is like a roller coaster of amazingness, and last night, one lucky fan/Kade Nation Member, and new “Girl Cali BFF”, Molly Weiner (Sister of Jennifer Weiner, the author of “In Her Shoes” and “Good In Bed” who she told me was a fan of “The Journey” and I think it’s important for NY Times bestselling authors to stick together like us and critique eachother’s works to become better writers) got to see The Brand dominate the night, and her response at Del Frisco’s was “I have never seen anything like it (I wonder what it’s actually like to hook up with me and know that the penis of a celeb is inside of you and wonder if it intensifies the orgasm the girl gets). All the girls coming up and all the attention you get is crazy. You are a reality show in real life”. She got to see what some girls have nicknamed “Mr. Philadelphia” be the most famous person in the places, bypass lines, get free drinks, and get access to any parts of the club I want, and why people can see I am “The Biz’s newest Bad Boy and it’s next big thing”. I love when people experience the social part of “The Journey” first hand because there is nothing like it, and I always say, “If you want great sex, then call a porn star”.

Top 10 Moments of the night:

1) The random girl that I eyed up while walking by me and she literally stopped in her tracks at Del Frisco’s, started talking to me, and would have probably had sex with me in the bathroom had I desired, but she was a Philly 7.85 that I could tell was all about the fame and aura of The Brand, so after I saw that she had no ass and small tits, I told her I would meet her downstairs and never did. The Brand Doesn’t settle but I didn’t feel like telling her she wasn’t worthy of Arthur Kade.

2) Arthur Kade getting on my knees as a friend poured a shot of Patron in my mouth, and it pretty much spilled all over my hot TITS shirt (Which like 10 Gen Poppers came up to me to say something about), and everyone around me wondering, ‘How does Arthur Kade just always kill it?”.

3) While talking to a girl, I was trying to maneuver her into a threesome with another friend, but for some reason girls do not want to share me which is funny because for years I had no problem closing 2 girls in one night, although threesomes can be tricky because some girls get jealous at the attention you might show the other if she’s better in bed, and I had a situation years ago in Miami where a girl literally stopped in the middle of one and said, “I don’t think you guys need me here”, and got dressed and left the hotel room.

4) The Brand showing off his dance moves at Recess to one of the dancers, and my friend said, “You looked like you were having an epileptic seizure”, but I disagreed because I am good dancer, and said, “My moves are just ahead of their time”.

5) Arthur Kade never vomits from drinking too much, but in the cab on the way home, somehow as I was paying the cab driver, I threw up in the back and when I said ‘I’m sorry” he laughed and I gave him an extra $20 bill. The cab already smelled so bad so I didn’t feel that bad, but wanted to make sure that he knew he was escorting home a celebrity and brag about how much I tipped him

6) Me being walked in through the middle of the MASSIVE line at Del Frisco’s with The Entourage, while a fan kept yelling “Nation!!” (Short for I’m a member of Kade Nation). It’s funny because I knew and didn’t recognize him, but he told me he reads everyday and asked me “Did you get furniture?”, and I laughed and said “Not Yet. You really do read everyday.” Sometimes I forget that without Arthur Kade, The Gen Pop would not have a lot of inspiration and motivation during their lives and I can only imagine how miserable people were before “The Journey”.

7) At the bathroom at Recess, a Philly 8.88 with a great body, cute face, but busted nose (I was thinking about referring her to my old nose surgeon who removed the bump I had from the fifth break I had and made me look like an Italian/Roman statue, but she didn’t look like she could afford the surgery) said, “You’re a lot skinnier than I thought you would be”, and then I flexed my are and told her “Feel This”, and after she felt my bicep I told her “Feel This” and jokingly moved her hand over my pants and she said, ‘You’re hilarious”. It wasn’t meant to be “hilarious”.

8 ) One of The Entourage brought a girl over who I had offended one time at Smiths and told me to say sorry, and since I was already bombed and don’t remember the exact exchange, he said Arthur Kade said, “I apologize but I have no idea why I am apologizing, but I apologize anyway”. Classic Kade Interaction while trying to get my friends laid because I am a team player and sometimes I have to bunt so that others can score. There was also a girl who walked by The Brand at DelFriscos who said “You’re not cool”, and I responded, “Yes I am”. I thought I was going to get Gen Popped.

9) After getting home, I am babysitting 2 dogs, and they kept barking so I just started throwing the toy with them, and fell down my three steps to the living room and bruised my arm and back. I have been having a shooting pain going through my left arm for days now which I should get checked out, but I am scared that I may be having mini strokes and would rather not know

10) “Can I fuck Her?”. Best. Line. Ever

“If Fame and Success are like sex, than The Brand is a nymphomaniac…Arthur Kade…11/26/09

If only that was OJ's hand holding that knife...

read more “A Night Of Giving Thanks To The Brand”