"Lego Wig" Arthur Kade: The Journey (to a Mental Institution)

Before the main event, I must catch up on the posts that I deliberately skipped over in the past two weeks...

Regarding Kade's “Dry Run” Of “Dan From Closer” For Advanced Theater Class blog post:

I didn't think much of the "acting" that Kade was doing, but then again, acting IS tough and there's a lot to remember while listening and reacting truthfully to your scene partner. However, I'm not defending him. Had Kade spent less time in clubs and more time practicing The Craft, we might have seen a bit of improvement; as it stands, though, he has not made much in the way of progress...perhaps he has gone the direct opposite of progress and actually gotten WORSE (if such a thing is possible).
Bottom line: Don't watch the videos; it will be a waste of 9 minutes and 42 seconds.

The Philadelphia Magazine Writes Up What The Brand Will Be Doing For St. Patrick’s Day post:

“They could have identified me as “”Actor”", “”Celebrity”", or even “”Author”", but they chose “”Legend”" because Victor Fiorillo is messing with your head, just like Gawker does. They know you'll latch on to any attention given to you, so they're throwing you bits of chum (bait) to see how you'll react. Here's Kade's response to Victor's question (from http://blogs.phillymag.com/the_philly_post/2010/03/17/jack-kelly-will-be-at-plough-stars-then-tir-na-nog-then-maces-crossing-then-finnegans-wake-then/):

“I’ll be partying, I am sure. Not anywhere in particular. But safe to say I’ll be in Rittenhouse Square drinking a Stoli-O club with a splash of pineapple.”

Unsurprisingly, there were quite a few comments regarding either how gay Kade was or how gay the drink was. All I could do was a combination facepalm-headshake and move on.

The Pimp My Tee (Audition For “You Can’t Have It All”) post:

The Brand is designing a special Balls Ass Hot Shirt for his much publicized and history making TV Interview with Kerri-Anne Kennerley and it's surprising that you didn't ask her, while on the show, "Hey Kerri, uh, what do you think of, uh, my Balls Ass Hot Shirt I-I-I got printed up for this interview? My man Jabeer helped me out with it. It's total Kadestralia domination, right?" Yeah, Jabeer is your man just like Blue from Cosi's was your man, right? Fuck you.

The Kade Angeles TakeOver Begins post:

(I ended up with a Philly 9.85 in my room sleeping over who left me alone with a bottle of champagne and massive hangover in the morning to celebrate the triumphant return of Industry )
It's strange that she would leave you, THE BRAND, alone in a room. One might think that she'd be attracted to your "Mogul in the making" status, but like every other piece of shitspittle, we know to avoid anything that comes out of that Venus Kadetrap of yours. But hark! The reason for calling Los Angeles "Kade Angeles" has been revealed:

“Next Week you are going to see a person take over that town like no other celebrity ever has and between all of the Major TV Network Meetings fighting over my show, the Live TV Interviews with “Oprahs” on other continents, being escorted with KA 10’s into the hottest clubs in KA, Meetings with “Mega Bizzers”, and exclusive Balls Ass “Invite Only Parties” that only celebs and athletes are privy to at the W Hotel, Arthur Kade may not only own KA, I may rename the state “Kadeifornia”.
Yep, you're fucked in the head, THAT'S why people want to meet you (and wonder if you're real or not). Give us an update on how that "open call" for "Dark fields" went, alright, asshole?

The Gen Popper Kade Nation Fan who approached The Brand at Dusk and said, “You’re Arthur. Can I take a picture?”, and I responded, “On my camera. Just take it off blog”. She was a Philly 4.88 and I was about to ask her to step out of my personal celebrity space because she shouldn’t have been within 10 feet of me, but once I found out she was a HUGE fan, I wanted her first in-person memory of Arthur Kade to be of compassion and gentleness.

BULLSHIT. On your "Kade Scale" page, it specifies:

6 and under-Don’t bother
Not worth listing or discussing. Not even friend or date worthy.

You're so desperate for attention that you're willing to be photographed with someone who rates under a 6?

It’s crazy that with how hip I am as an up and coming actor and author, sometimes The Brand is a bit out of touch with the Gen Pop culture.

That's for DAMN sure.

The "Ochocinco" blog post:

Gawker, once again, fucks with Kade (who has become so fame-crazy that he describes the website as "one of the most influential and respected tabloid reporting sites in the world"):

http://gawker.com/5501378/arthur-kadestralia-gets-complimentary-car-ride

Ann Onymous left a comment awhile back...something about having to get past Kade in order to get into some event or hotel (The W, maybe). Oh Ann, where art thou?
The rest of the post is truly "Kade Style"...by that, I mean that it's filled with lies (or delusions, as an anonymous commenter wanted me to refer to them as), a ridiculous quote, embarrassing videos and space-wasting pictures Kade will no doubt attempt to use as proof in the future when telling someone that he has partied with all the hottest celebrities, been in all the coolest clubs, has many fans, and is wanted by the hottest, youngest women. I can only imagine how many other people (Gen Pop, as Kade might call them) have similar photos on their blogs or in their photo albums. So, having said that, WHAT exactly makes Kade stand out amongst them? His hat and his Easter Island-style nose.

Finally, He Came, He Saw, He “Kade Styled”:

Should have been a quote from "Ernest saves Christmas": "I came...I saw...I got blowed up." A terrorist dashes into the club, strapped with explosives around their waist, lets out a banshee scream (like the masked bitches from the Postal 2 video game) and hits the button. BOOM. It would almost be a post worth copying out in full...almost.

“It’s funny because I am the face of a the city of Philadelphia, and even corners at Cafe’ shops in Rittenhouse are named after me”
You named a corner at Cosi's after yourself over a year ago and now it has somehow morphed into multiple cafes with multiple corners named after you? The Exaggeration Excitement never stops!

I think about the distance that ‘The Journey” has travelled in 1.05661 years
That would be 385.6 days, or March 4th, 2010 (assuming "Duh Gurney" started on February 12th, 2009...I can't even be bothered to check that). I facepalm at your existence in general. If you want to be specific, Kade (and you should, since you want people to look up to you), then you should be saying "I think about the distance that "The Journey" has travelled in 1.12328767123287671232877 years" (February 12th, 2009 to March 29th, 2010).

For those who think that I hang on to Kade's every word (and am such a big "Fan" because of it), you're completely wrong. There were many people out there who criticized the Bush administration since day 1, pointing out errors and disproving claims in press releases and news stories...does that mean those people were "Fans" of the Bush administration? I hardly fucking think so!

one “Mega-Bizzer” who came to one of my network meetings saying to one of the network execs when she asked him, “Why are you here?”, he responded, “Really…I just wanted to meet this guy”
figure out what network The Brand is going to land on, and shape the “New Face Of Television” (This is what another “Mega-Bizzer” said they believed I was going to be
Who are these "Mega-Bizzer" people, exactly? You're not afraid to name-drop now, are you?

Brittany Gastinaeu (I had no idea who she was until it was explained she is the daughter of a football player, and had her own reality show where she bombed trying to make it in Hollywood, and I said “Of course she bombed! She is a disastrous KA 5.85 with a HUGE ASS who is wearing Levi’s, I think, that make her body look even worse. Who’s gonna hire her to act in a movie”.
Someone's going to remember that you typed that. Don't say you weren't warned.

I am a big enough name now that I could really enjoy KA now and build my Brand even further there, but it’s being recommended that I remain here right now by my “Reps” (This is the term we “Crafter” use to refer to our Agents) for the time being.
In other words, you're too poor and you didn't make the connections you hoped you would. Did you stay with Kent Osborne? How come he wasn't featured in your latest KA disaster...I mean, trip?

Everyone in Philly was amazed that I got right off the plane at midnight on Friday, and went straight from the Kadeport to Ladder 15 and then Recess
Yeah, sure, EVERYONE in Philly: the cab drivers, the janitors in the office buildings, the maintenance workers, the families living in the suburbs, the cops, the cashiers at the convenience stores, the politicians, the prostitutes, the homegrown terror cells, the FBI, the university students, the hotel managers, the truck drivers passing through, the shelf stockers in the grocery stores...yeah, EVERYONE. I'm sure phone calls were being made the minute you left the airport. (By the way, to the natives of Philadelphia: does public transit run from the airport into the city? If so, then I have a pretty good idea of how he gets from one place to another...not counting his Nontourage, because apparently they're embarrassed to be seen with him now.)

when one group of Fans were gawking and pointing at me at Ladder
They know who you are, and they were FUCKING WITH YOU (meaning that they were pretending that they were fans and pretending even harder to be amazed that they had seen the oh-so-famous Arthur Kade). By the way, how come this "group of Fans" aren't featured in any of the pictures in this latest blog turd?

the following night I had 3 girls in play at the end of the night, and it all fell apart with each one either going home, or telling me they wanted to grab drinks this week.
More girls you couldn't close the deal with? The corpse of Sinatra could get more than you, hell, I myself could get more than you, and I'm a 30-year-old retarded, pale, fat, greasy, stinky, hideous, envious, worthless, neck-bearded, basement-dwelling, Hot Pocket-eating jealous Gen Pop loser virgin with genital warts, a boring job, no life and no friends.

Finally, a video worth watching...


Until next time, Wiggers...
Also, don't forget that International 'Abandon Kade' Week starts this Sunday, April 4th, and runs through until Sunday, April 11th. I won't push the date to the middle of April for reasons I stated in the comments section of the last post.