Preparing For My Off Broadway Audition

Two monologues done the same way and he talks about switching in and out of different characters. He really just doesn't get it. Diabetes can't take him quick enough for my liking. More deluded fantasies from Crisco McSlobberyfuck, Arthur Kadyshes...

For most Gen Poppers, Saturday is a day of rest, relaxation, and reflection, but for The Brand, it is a day of redefining “The Biz”, and making headway in The Craft and “The Journey” as I have my first on-camera kissing scene for a movie (I will blog this very soon), and a great audition for a reputable screen writer for an “Off-Broadway” Play that may give me some consideration for a lead in a future Broadway play. I met with Sharon to prepare my monologue for the audition, and I selected the monologue that my man, Anthony Hopkins delivers during Meet Joe Black, but she felt it might be good to also work in some Jeremy Grey from Wedding Crashers if they want some liveliness, comedic timing, and more attitude.

What makes me such a tremendous actor as you will see by the videos below, is that I can switch in and out of different characters and genres, and “Get In the Moment” and invest myself. “Kade Style”. I am on the run today like crazy, but last night had some very interesting and hilarious things happen that I will be talking about in a soon to come blog. Ta-Ta!!

“When your dignity is bleeding, make sure your ass crack isn’t sticking out”…Arthur Kade…11/07/09

Here is an acting vid with Sharon where I float “Kade Style” between 2 masterful monologues, and a great Email of a “Kater” who I think wil be a Kade Nation convert soon enough..

“Yo man, just gonna try to help you out. I would say that over half the people that write in to you are either a) Making fun of you, and they cant believe that you actually think they are serious or b) so bad at life they they find your lies as an escape. I was shown your website a few days ago, and I must say it it the most dousche bag website I have ever seen. You talk about how poular you are, yet you are always by yourself in your videos filming the videos yourself. I have yet to see any hot girls in any of your videos and for that matter any one at all. You claim to be taking hot girls or Philly 8’s but you said even yourself that they last girl you brought home wasnt that hot all and was “sloppy”. Im willing to bet you arent pulling Philly 8’s and 9’s but you are probably bottom feeding on the women the girls that are desperate for attention. So way to go. And as far as your hotel suite that was comped? It was a normal room you moron, you didnt fool anyone. If you re so big, why are you doing off broadway stuff? Newsflash, you’ll never be in any movies unless the character has to have a lisp and have an ego the size of America and a penis the size of a golf tee, as you refrenced by the woman having a “grand canyon”…maybe it was you? Secondly, you should really learn how to treat women. How you talk about them makes you look like a bigger dousche bag than you already are, and believe me when I speak for “kade nation” when I say making yourself a bigger dousche bag than you already are, is a hard thing to do. You literally are the Kanye West of no bodies. And yes I did just compare you to Kanye West, except that everyone thinks Kanye is a huge dousche who likes fish sticks. I bet you like Fish Sticks? Please do everyone a favor and stop with all your non sense hype. When you accomplish something in the “biz” besides having a speech coach who looks like she also doubles in giving piano lessons to 5 year olds, by the looks of her house. Please take the advice I gave you and run with it. Very far, as far as you can away from your video camers, the internet, or anyone that is actually contributing something to our great country and not polluting it by being a waste of space.

“Arthur Kade is not a man. He is a little boy lost in a fantasy world, somewhere between Park Avenue and Rodeo”

I pray to God the next time I hear “kade out” from one of your home movies, it is the last time.

Good Luck.”

read more “Preparing For My Off Broadway Audition”

Rihanna's Own Words Disprove the Know-Nothing King Kang

As if following around a serial loser and misogynist didn't show a lack of class and judgment, recently King Kang (GN Kang of Wired 96.5's pathetic morning show starring a sappy fat guido douchebag named Chio) opined that Chris Brown should just release a new album, say a perfunctory "I'm sorry", and win back public support.

Well, as if she can read GN Kang's simple mind, Rihanna herself came out and admitted that she was stupid to keep giving a woman-beater more chances. Rihanna was interviewed by Diane Sawyer and her words are interesting. The linked article is worth reading, if you have time.

As this blog reported yesterday, this is not the first time that Chris Brown beat a woman and it certainly was not the first time he beat Rihanna. According to her, he was a serial beater.

But, you know, he doesn't need to walk around feeling guilty or seek therapy... he needs some public love for some mind-numbingly stereotypical pop tunes. We warned you that GN was associated with Arthur Kadyshes, so you can't say you're surprised to hear her retarded take on the issue. Hey GN, go back to mocassin and handbag shopping and leave the opinion-writing to people with a functional neocortex.

Hey GN, stop sending the wrong message to young people, especially young women. Try to get outside of your fame-obsessed mode and grow up a little.

read more “Rihanna's Own Words Disprove the Know-Nothing King Kang”

TITS - Behind The Scenes Of A Wannabe Celebrity Photo Shoot

Someone really needs to tell Arthur that the shirts in the two photos below are WAY out of style...
So Arthur apparently modeled t-shirts for some supposedly balls-ass shirt company in LA. Pretty much laughing our asses off at the TITS site, where they don't even show the faces of people who model for them. See for yourselves here! 


He claims he was also "booked in a movie as featured background..." Gag. In regular person language this is translated to "saw an ad on Craigslist for extras and jumped on it quick because extra work with dozens or hundreds of other random people is the only real work I can get, and I'm dumb enough to tell people I will steal the show when the camera maybe only catches a glimpse of me for a fraction of a second." Wrap your mind around that...


Finally, Kade will be much better off when he stops fantasizing that he looks younger than 25. His face looks like an old pork chop with a Dollar Store spray tan, his eyes look like they have a 747 worth of luggage beneath them, and he's lucky if he could pass for younger than 40 at best.

Once again we've highlighted all the parts that are total lies or delusions, or things Kade can simply never prove. Holy fuck... the first SEVEN lines alone are a total nightmare of lies!

Lately, Arthur Kade has been spending so much time working on his amazing book which will be a NY Times Bestseller, and developing a soon to be hit TV show with IMG Media (Both of these things will make me a household name but my first Emmy, Oscar, Or Pulitzer will make me cry), that he hasn’t been able to focus on the basics of “The Biz”, the things that have made him a worldwide currency and media sensation, and the man some are calling the next M.I.M. (Mogul In the Making) in the mold of Diddy, Simmons, and even Oprah if I do this right, because of my multimedia entrance with such vigor and ferocity that no one has ever seen anything like it. Today, it was great to get back to the basics of “The Journey”, because I got to do something that I did for income for so many years, where people paid me for my unique and unorthodox looks, and when I realized that my “Look” (Italian/Greek) stood out no matter where I went and no matter where I was around (I will never forget being in a club with Ben Affleck in New York when he was dating J-LO, and everyone there was looking at me and trying to figure out who I was, and I knew that I could be special in Hollywood), and this is why girls have always loved me and jumped into bed with me almost at will. Even though I have an extremely sexual and sensual personality, and can talk girls into anything (My favorite is when a girl says, “I will never have a threesome”, and next thing you know she is going down on another girl while I am doing her from behind), it’s my being extremely handsome and “Royal” appearance that are the keys to the kingdom.

I finally did the photo shoot to update my head shots (I Killed it, and we got 4 different facial expressions, and as soon as the shots are touched up, I will put them on the site, but there is one of me smiling in the video below where I look 25 or maybe even younger) at G Lounge, and being the celebrity I am, I was able to shoot with one of the hottest photogs in KA, Lani Lee, and she is also the head photog for the a clothing line that I LOVE called TITS (Titsbrand.com). Tits is considered by many to be the hottest urban/street line in KA right now, and focuses on edginess and sexuality (Check out the shirts in the pictures below), and I would love to have an endorsement deal with them because they use naked girls (If any are interested in shooting for T-Shirts they should contact them). I will have to get Team Kade on this once I get things to settle down with the TV Show and book.

The shoot was amazing, and it just reminds me that had I not focused on partying and more partying when I was younger, I could have probably been at the level of Tyson Beckford or Markus Schenkenburg and graced the cover of all the major mags (It’s funny that I made all those mistakes back then, but here I am now about to grace those covers as an award winning actor and author and not just a “Pretty Boy”). Modeling has always come naturally to me, and I will never forget when a photog in NYC told me while test shooting, “You have one of the most beautiful faces in the world”, and only now that I am older, see wrinkles, and have to work twice as hard to stay twice as young do I realize how beautiful I was in my 20’s.

In the meantime, I was booked today to film in a movie as featured background and will be performing a kissing scene with a girl (I will blog about this shortly) on Saturday, and also moved my “Off-Broadway” audition to Saturday as well. Here are some amazing vids from behind the scenes of a fashion and modeling shoot of The Brand (Most people never see what goes on behind the scenes of a celebrity photo shoot, and that’s the beauty of Arthur Kade wanting to share it with the world like an orgasm), and me modeling the super hot “TITS” shirt line. Q&A Coming very soon…

“Arthur Kade is not about winning or victory. He has already won. He is about being a once in a lifetime experience that the Gen Pop will talk about for generations to come. Welcome to Kadealot”…Arthur Kade…11/06/09

And this is how the above pictures will appear on the TITS website:

read more “TITS - Behind The Scenes Of A Wannabe Celebrity Photo Shoot”

Kade's "Players": An Update

Approximately 8.23691 months after mega-douchebag loser Arthur Kadyshes began his "Journey" to a mental institution, he is left with almost no support from his "Players" . He hasn't mentioned a single one of these people, even using their corny nicknames, on his blog in months. If Arthur was a "Brand" or a "celebrity" at all, these people would actually want to spend time with him, help him out, and appear in pictures. Of course, he's only known as a jobless 30-something loser with no style, no intelligence, and no talent.

Here's a look at each of Kade's "Players" and what we've found out from tipsters who know these people. For simplicity's sake, we're going to use Kade's own "Players" list from his website (reproduced on our blog here) as the template for this update.

Chad Boonswang - He's still a huge douchebag inside a tiny body, but he hasn't been seen around Kade recently. We have to give him some credit for that.

GN Kang - For whatever reason, she hasn't been seen (or heard) in Kade's videos for like 3 weeks. Sources say they're still friends, but it's unclear how much they've actually been  hanging out. Kade didn't attend King Kang's underwear football game in Reading, PA last week and it's possible there is a schism developing between the two. We're not sure, but if you know more, email us here.

Marissa Rosen - The Cackler moved to Israel. We're told Tel Aviv. Hasn't seen Crisco McLispo in months.

Hughe Dillon - Still a scourge on Philadelphia, with a total inability to project a positive image for the city. From his site, you'd think that people in Philadelphia were ill-educated fameballs who live on celebrity sightings and getting involved in the minute details of somewhat rich (yet tacky) people's private lives.  Has no clue what actual high class people do and confuses famewhores for legitimately powerful people. Dillon still supports Kade via Twitter and is probably stupid enough to think Kade will amount to something. However, other than being a little slow, this guy hasn't really enabled Kade that much. In fact, his pictures of Kade when Kade was more normal actually just prove how retarded and addled Kade has become.

Sabrina Tamburino and Steve Thorne - Well, they didn't invite Kadyshes to their wedding, which redeems them. They've basically disowned poor Artshitz. Sorry, Crisco McLispo...

Brett Perloff - need more info on this guy. Email us.

Tony Churchirilo - Reportedly hates Kade now. This is a guy Kadyshes claimed to be good friends with before. Not anymore!

Sabrina Strickland - People started calling her "The Gunt" on Kadyshes' blog and since then, no sign of her. Her low point was appearing, extremely drunk, in a video with Kadyshes and Lindsay Furman. She's the chubby one with a raspy voice (sounds like a 40 yr old Jersey woman).

Mark Zabludovsky - Supposedly had moved back from Miami, but absolutely no sign that he still hangs with Kadyshes. If you have more info, email us. However, for right now, we'd have to say this guy wants nothing to do with the Cockgobbler. From his LinkedIn profile, this tool appears to be suffering after being a "Alt-A and subprime mortgage broker"... hahahaha. Too funny that Kade's "friends" are also massive losers. Probably wiped out when the Florida real estate market hit the fan.

Michelle Miller - Strongly dislikes Kade, according to several sources. No sign of her anywhere near Kade recently.

Ania Kukla - Wants nothing to do with Kadyshes. We've heard different versions of the story, but supposedly she was hanging out with/dating Kadyshes briefly after Danielle Poe dumped him. Then Kukla either dumped him or started avoiding him. Not sure what exactly went on, but she's clearly staying far from Kade nowadays.

Sean Jones - No sign of this guy. Kade doesn't mention him and he has never appeared. They're probably not even friends at all and it was just Kade bullshit he hoped no one would call him on.

Danielle Poe - Allegedly treats Kade like the plague. Multiple tipsters say her take on Kade is "avoid avoid avoid". Can't blame her.

Lindsay Furman - Along with "The Gunt", this is the girl that has hung out with Kade the most recently. But it's been 2-3 weeks since she's been sighted around Kade. No idea if she's also starting to avoid him. People say she's desparate for any attention at all, so she probably does hang out with him, even if no one has informed us about it in a while.

Others - Kent Osborn still seems to enjoy screwing with Kade by pretending to be a "huge fan", etc. Kudos to Kent for that, it's quite entertaining. Heather Yerrid briefly made an appearance on the Kade radar, as a ditzy girl who liked to party with Kade, but she hasn't been seen since whenever Kade went to a Phillies game with her a few weeks ago. Lastly, Kade's old roommate Ron Hansen-- we wonder what happened there? Kade was living in Hansen's den for a while (true "Kade Style" accomodations!) but we're unsure if/when Ron Hansen forced Kade to move out. Of course, it's just pathetic that Kade was a 30-something man crashing with Hansen in desparation to begin with.

Lastly, Leonard Kadyshes and Raya Yukhimov (Kade's dad and step mom) have been in more videos recently. We're not sure if they really support what he's doing, as opposed to just going along with it and "being there" for him when it eventually all falls apart and he ends up moving back in with them as a brain dead 35 yr old. It's surprising Kade wants to hang around his parents so much (like his video with his real mom last week) since he's often commented on how both his parents abandoned him when he was growing up. Ugh, what a sad situation... I think he's started to hang out with them more because he needs to get videos of himself with people, pretending to be normal and have friends and supportive family. Since everyone else has abandoned him, he's stuck using his dad to go to an Eagles game (instead of having friends to go with). No word yet on whether or not Leonard really refers to Arthur as a "waste of cumb" [sic].

read more “Kade's "Players": An Update”

"The Brand" is nearing rock bottom web exposure

Cockgobblin' Kade's website is a great blog to teach children how not to write. It's also a shameless and classless display of megalomania and various personality disorders. However, it is certainly not working out as a marketing tool for Lispy McSlobberfuck. Arthur Kadyshes blogs every day about the most random and minor aspects of his "celebrity life"... you know, buying a TV off the rack at BestBuy, finding out that his new apartment actually has lights (!), and getting speech therapy for his massive lisp and slobbering problem.

The problem is, Kade's site never caught on. Sure, it was picked up (and mocked) by a few other, much larger, sites. But the material was apparently too boring for most people. How do we know this? Well, thanks to Alexa.com of course!

Since Kade's site isn't even in the top 100,000 websites in the last 3 months, Alexa doesn't report full information, because the lines are too low/small for the scale on Alexa's graphs. What they do report is the changes, up or down, for his site now compared to this summer. The numbers are staggering.

Traffic Rank (over the last month): 260,321st (meaning over 260,000 sites get more hits)
Reach: Down 50% in last 3 months
Page Views: Down 70% in last 3 months
Page Views/User: Down 40% in last 3 months
Bounce Rate: Up 39% (Bounce Rate is the percent of page visitors who only look at a single page then leave)

Go here to see the numbers for yourself.

Why  is the 3 month time frame significant? It's not because that was the peak of Arthur's site... no, the peak was back in May, a full 6 months ago. His site was already falling 3 months ago. The significance of 3 months is, that's when this blog was started, about 2.5 months ago. This blog will be 3 months old soon and we're happy to contribute to Arthur's downfall, while also making a backup record of all the retarded things he does, so people can laugh at them for years to come. Keep sending tips and suggestions to our email. Thank you readers, thank you very much!

read more “"The Brand" is nearing rock bottom web exposure”

Kade Reality Check: Football Players, not Faggots, Dominate UGA

Crisco McLispo faked an email from some girls from UGA. It's a really poorly done fake email, which has all of  the hallmarks of Kade's own poor writing. It's not new for Cockgobbler to make things up, but I'm surprised he hasn't gotten any better at faking this crap. Later on, there is a video of Kade moving his clothing to his shitty new 1BR apartment, appropriately, in shopping carts like the jobless homeless loser he is. On the bright side, today's a new day and each time the sun comes up we're one day closer to Kade realizing the gig is up and killing himself.

Again, we've highlighted all the parts that are obvious lies, or things Kade can never prove. Makes it so much more fun to read, don't you think?


-------------------------
Being one of the most up and coming sex symbols in the world because of “The Journey”, The Brand has to deal with girls soliciting and wanting me from everywhere one can imagine, ranging from America to Europe to even Australia, and trust me, it is an amazing feeling to be wanted by some of the most beautiful girls all over the world. I am so careful because with Arthur Kade “Blowing Up” and becoming a television and literary star, girls want to be Kaded and “wifed” to try and seal me up for child support or even their own fame. I usually ignore all the emails that I get from girls who want to meet me or have sex with me, but this email that I got while watching my Phillies lose (It’s hard to see a great team that you love lose, but Philly still has me to bring them a Kade Parade once I win my first Emmy or Oscar) was so interesting and cute that I am considering doing it, and the “Kade Like” quote in the email is what sold me.

I never really had the true college experience in my youth because I was busy modeling, working at Neiman Marcus In King Of Prussia, PA (The Brand put himself through school like a champ), and dominating NYC with celebs, DJ’s, and hitting the hottest clubs like SoundFactory and Tunnel. I have always dreamed of going back and partying “Kade Style” with college girls, and now I may have to do it, and considering I am a celebrity and soon to have the number 1 show in America, it could be crazy and allow some lucky fans to party with one of the soon to be biggest names in Hollywood, Arthur “Muthafuckin” Kade. I also love Southern Girls, because they are usually very sexily freckled and natural blondes with great huge boobs, and usually love giving amazing oral sex (I had an unbelievable experience with one of the best blow jobs ever in Kadelanta, when I was visiting a girl who I met in SOBE who was like a “Hoover” and blew me 4 or 5 times in one night there) and they are usually not “Gold Diggers” like I have to deal with here. Here is the email I got (I held back their names to be polite), and I would love to know what Kade Nation thinks, and if I should dominate the University of Georgia, “Kade Style”? Tell me what you think…

Leaders of Kade Nation (just looking for someone of your caliber)
“Even though you’re really busy expanding The Brand and holding it down in Philly, I think you should come to Athens, GA (or Kathens as my friends and I like to call it). Sorority girls at the University of Georgia are always a good time and we’d love to be in your presence. Seriously our mission is for you to come to Athens. I don’t know if we’d be considered 10’s on the Kade Scale (because I know that’s really hard and understandable) but I’d say we’re all fun girls and definitely not below the scale. A few of my other good friends added you recently too. We’re on the Kade train and love your site. It’d be amazing if you could bring some Kade style to Athens.
Kadeout,
“Football is what’s good about Athens, but Arthur Kade is what’s good about life”
-you’ll never know what you can get in Athens if you’ve never been here. come find out.”

Here are videos from today beginning the move to the new Chateau Kade (I’m putting some of the furniture in my storage unit from my professionally decorated townhouse in shortly. I also have a potentially amazing opportunity that I have gotten that I have to go over with TEAM KADE to see if it will be an issue with other stuff I have going on, so I will let you know the progress, but it’s BIG.

“I wonder how long it will take Arthur Kade to win “”People’s Sexiest Man Alive”" award?.. 2010?…2011??”….Arthur Kade….11/04/09

read more “Kade Reality Check: Football Players, not Faggots, Dominate UGA”

NASA designing special Kade-sized condoms

They really are! If you have an incredibly insecure, douchey guy in your office, family, or have any friends at risk of becoming Kade-like douchebags... consider giving them one of these for Christmas!

read more “NASA designing special Kade-sized condoms”

We're thinking of buying a copy of this t-shirt and sending it to Crisco McLispo...

It would be worth the $20 to have one of these t-shirts made and then ship it to Douchebag Kadyshes.

Thanks to our fan/reader who submitted this to the blog (sink the link for the t shirt idea he submitted). We're not promoting that Kadyshes commits suicide... we're just pointing out that Leonard Kadyshes (Artshitz's dad who abandoned him when he was young and is a known misogynist) probably wouldn't mind and neither would most of Philadelphia who hates this insecure obnoxious douchebag. While we wouldn't buy Kadyshes a bunch of rope and show him how to end his miserable lonely existence, we certainly wouldn't stop him if he was about to off himself.

read more “We're thinking of buying a copy of this t-shirt and sending it to Crisco McLispo...”

Broadway

Just more bullshit from the Cock Gobbler that will never come to fruition and will just make his downfall all the harder. For him that is. We'll all love his downfall and celebrate it in the streets. I wouldn't be surprised if when it eventually comes they name a national holiday after it. We could use a little something in May, right? Don't really want to wait that long for the fall, but Kade-O De May-O has a nice ring to it, not to mention if it falls on May 5th the Mexicans will hopefully think us gringos are really accepting them and celebrate right along with us. I don't really need an excuse to drink Negro Modello and tequila, but I would gladly use the downfall of Crisco McLispy as one. More stupid, fucking delusional shit from Arthur Kadyshes...

FYI - We're going to start highlighting all the things in Kade's posts that are either total lies, are cannot be easily proven by himself. Should make things a little more fun to read.

Arthur Kade is a trained and exceptional theater actor from college, but yet I have focused all of my energy on Film and TV Acting which is my “Bread and Butter”, and now I am becoming an amazing author as well, so I have been avoiding getting involved in the Theater for fear that “The Biz” will see me more for that rather than what I have become more known for so far while ushering in the age of “The Modern Actor” (Anyone who has followed “The Journey” for the last 8 months today, knows that it was a transition for me to understand how to perfect the “Less is More” acting style for camera since I am such a big and alive personality, but Mike Lemon confirmed that I got there). I have turned down several opportunities to do local theater for fear that it would eat up so much time that I wouldn’t be able to focus on what has made me famous and “The Next Big Thing in TV”, but today I got a call for an audition for an Off-Broadway production that I think would showcase my tremendous theater abilities, and also put me in NYC for a while as well, and is written by a well-established playwright my agent said. I love stars like Fred Astaire and Judy Garland, and think I could have gotten to that level with the right amount of effort and training in my youth.

The part calls for a “Large Personality” and a “Strikingly Handsome” Man, so obviously The Brand got a call to audition on Thursday (I think my Italian Looks will fit this part perfectly), and it also calls for some “Basic Dancing”, and that is easy for me because I am a relatively artistic dancer who can pick things up quickly. I have also always felt like I have the charisma, looks, and charm, to carry a show, and because of my height, comedic timing, and voice inflection, I could be great in a Theater live in action. It will be interesting if I get the part and if it helps catapult me to a premier Broadway star, and considering that I have a TV Show “Dev Deal” with IMG Media and am about to have a hit network show and a bestselling book happening soon, is this the direction that I would want my career going right now. I always envisioned winning Little Oscar or Emmy first, and then pulling a “Julia Roberts” and doing some theater just to showcase that The Craft can be more important than the eight figure checks I will receive for movies, but if I get this part, it will be something to consider tp put on the resume for exposure.

Before the audition on Thursday, I have a HUGE photo-shoot in the morning with one of the edgiest and most up and coming photogs in KA, Lani Lee (Her work has been featured in Rolling Stone, and she is a pretty amazing talent having worked with celebs and artists like me) , and since I am The Brand, I have the opportunity and access to shoot with someone of her caliber that no one in Philly could ever touch, and I will also have her update my head shots to get them “Very Modern, Fresh, and Young”, and I am debating getting some facial skin treatments at the Spa tomorrow just so I can look in the 22-25 age range in the pictures. I have been waiting to work for her for the head shots for weeks, because I want them to be so Hot that when I move to KA next year, I won’t have to get them re-done, and finally it’s going to get done. I will try to video and photograph the shoot so Kade Nation and The Gen Pop can feel what it is like to watch a celebrity photographed behind the scenes by a balls ass hot photg, and the work involved in creating artistic beauty.

Tomorrow is moving day as well (I have Sharon at 9am and then a conference call with IMG Media at 11am and then Improv Class at 6:30 with Sharon, so tomorrow and Thursday are “Kade Style” Murder) , and I just bought a Pimped out new Sony LCD for the living room in Chateau Kade, and I can’t wait to bring my first 9 or 10 home and watch it before sex to set the mood. A TV like that can create an environment of sexuality and power, and can be great to watch pornos on while having amazing sex.

“Arthur Kade is starting a Kadeolution, and is our generation’s Napoleon Bonakade”…Arthur Kade…11/03/09

Since I am all about Kade Nation and Helping the Gen Pop, I wanted to also print an email a HUGE Fan wrote me for help to show my charitable side:

“I am a huge Kade fan, can’t wait for you to get a little oscar or ten!
Anyway, I am trying to locate a 60 year old lady named Robin Klimick or her son. She might be re married, but she’s a NY local, so I thought since your blog has so many followers, you might mention this and someone might know about her? She was a NY 8 in her day, and her ex boyfriend, a dear friend of mine, would love to recconect. Use the power of Kade to make the magic happen, please!
Beth”

read more “Broadway”

New LegoWigKade Fan Submissions!

We have to hand it to some of you: you have no limits when it comes to showing just how much you hate Philadelphia's most idiotic loser. We've gone through quite a few submissions in our inbox to bring you this great assortment of artwork. And the video... damn, great work! Let's see how/when Kade posts this to his site and says that he found it on a tabloid site. News flash you ugly bastard, it was sent to us, not you, and it's making fun of you! Enjoy!

Click for larger (if the above isn't gross enough for you)

This image comes to us from reader AFM who included this description:

Kade is caught getting into the shower by Ron's cleaning lady who says:  "Mr. Ron is a good boy but that Arthur is a pig and he keeps calling me a 3 and says that I am so ugly that picking up his mess should make me feel awesome, but it is terrible I tell you!   His pillow cases take forever for me to get the grease out of and he throws his dirty underwear on the kitchen counter for me to wash, and then I have to disinfect the kitchen.  In this picture you see that Arthur getting in to a nice shiny shower, but when he is done it will look like a bathroom that has not been cleaned for years.  I think he throws shampoo and hair gel and some sort of scummy stuff on the walls just so I have to clean it up.  I am thinking of telling Mr. Ron I must quit even though I need the money.  It is just too much for one woman to handle.  If Arthur calls me a 'fan' one more time, I may have to put my husband's heart medication in his food that he keeps separate and sticks labels all over it so that no one touches it.  It is mostly left-overs that look like he got them off an airplane or something...  When some person from lego land asked me to take this picture, I thought to myself, why not?  You know, something just don't look right with that Arthur.  I think he is disgusting so I don't want to look at the picture too hard.  Is this what you wanted?" 

Because of this photo we now know why Kade has such an overwhelming problem with women.  Mr. Kade could not be reached for comment.

A more accurate and appropriate "fan tee" than a dumb "Kade Style" fan someone sent into him.

One fan's suggestion for Kade's "logo" 

I think it's a suggestion for advertising that Kade could do considering he said he looks better in women's sunglasses.

And finally, finally, this:

Epic work by Jack, who has sent in previous artwork to us. We definitely look forward to more!

Thanks again everyone!


Oh, one more thing - while this wasn't sent to us, we had a good laugh from a video that Kent Osborne, aka Kade's "KA BFF" (it mentally hurts to type that) made from Arthur's new apartment video. Turns out Arthur sounds just as stupid without all the sexual innuendo and 12 year old behavior as he does with it. Pretty funny stuff!

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AK's site is dying, Boonswang is a bitter midget, GN Kang has poor judgment, and other goodies

A few quick updates on stories commenters and editors of this blog have been talking about...

1.) Traffic on Crisco McLispo's site is down 70% in the last 3 months. Apparently not as many people are sticking around for the inevitable trainwreck ending as we had previously thought. To see the statistics, go to http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/arthurkade.com and just look at the various categories of data. Previously, although Arthur Kadyshes hadn't gotten any speaking roles or even done any extra work in a while, at least you might've thought he was getting web traffic by being a pathetic attention-craving douchebag that even a mother would hate (and since his parents abandoned him even that was in question). A lot of people probably thought Kade would get decent internet viewing numbers. But as you can see from the commenters, it's gotten to the point where it's just the same few dozen people reading the site and the same 10 or 15 commenters ripping Kade and talking to each other in the comments. Maybe some of Kade's douche crew like Boonswang and Lindsay Furman view the site and inflate the numbers a little. Since Kade doesn't have that many friends or supporters to boost his internet ratings, it's only a matter of time until the site totally flatlines.

2.) Chad Boonswang doesn't like it when people point out that he's vertically challenged. Boonswang, better known to blog readers as the diminuative Lionel Hutz-like personal injury lawyer who follows Kade around, apparently didn't like it when he paid for it by being ripped by Matt Beauchamp here on this blog. It appears that someone (possibly and probably Boonswang himself) couldn't handle it and took to posting Beauchamp's personal information in the comments. Oh wow, Chad, you're so tough! You're so powerful! Hahaha. We give credit to Matt... he posts under his real name and speaks the truth about Kadyshes and his douchebag loser associates. And to Kadyshes' cronies... if you can't handle people commenting on your hideous appearance, horrible personalities, and poor judgment, why would you hang around a pathetic, attention-seeking douchenozzle?

Here's a picture of Chad Boonswang... errr, Lionel Hutz.

3.) While we're on the subject of pathetic, attention-seeking people with poor judgment, what's up with G.N. Kang (Arthur Kade's chief enabler)? Homegirl isn't that bright, but how low can you go when you glibly refer to the fact that Chris Brown beat Rihanna and then go on to tell the teenage girls who listen to Chio's shitty morning program "since Chris Brown made some cool new music, the public will now forgive and forget" (paraphrased). That's just a pathetic statement about this country and most of the uneducated, uncultured, and self-esteem lacking nature of "pop culture" that GN is so obsessed with. If we valued women and opposed domestic violence as a country, we would overlook the cheap, superficial, shitty music produced by shitheads like Chris Brown. Of course, GN doesn't have good judgment and seems to lack some self esteem (and thus comes off as attention-needy). So it's OK if a guy beats a girl... just say some vague apologies, drop some new crappy "R and B" or "hip hop" crap on the public, and hope everyone forgets. This way no one has to learn a lesson or change how we look at society's treatment of women.

These things are now called GN-O'lanterns... Kade Style!

For anyone who doubts that domestic violence and abuse of women is a problem, here is a link to educate yourself. Also, here is a link to some details about what Chris Brown (who GN Kang would probably call an "elite artist") did to Rihanna. It's great that GN makes some bland statements about believing in change... but Chris Brown is a repeat offender. He's been violent to women as a PATTERN, not an isolated incident. Sad, sad, sad. Since GN is kind of slow and doesn't read much other than teeny bopper magazines and PerezHilton type sites, we wouldn't expect her to know or care about this.

On the positive side, since I have to say something nice about King Kang, if anyone thinks women should just forgive men who beat them (and then never learn and do it to other women), we have the site for you--gnkang.com. Check it out, maybe you can even find some "fun mocassins to bum around in". Ahh, it's too convenient that all these retards hang out together. Makes writing this blog too easy.

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Side Effects of Diabetes - Kade would love your sympathy

Awwwww... so sad Kade, you claim to have diabetes. Guess who cares? NOBODY!

Another absurd posts, filled with disrespectful gems like Kade saying "Dude, It was like The Grand Canyon in there," to a friend when referring to a woman's vagina. And go ahead Kade, go right ahead and "counteract" your fictitious diabetes with 6-8 Red Bulls, 1-2 Scoops of No-Xplode, coffee, and soda throughout the day. Go right ahead and do that. We'll keep our fingers crossed that either your heart or your brain explode from this cocktail of insanity.


Finally, Arthur couldn't be more wrong to say that the lisp was cured at some point in the past few months. It's always been there, and it will always be there.

Everyone in Philly today was talking about the amazing “Kade Style” Domination that Audrina Patridge, Arthur Kade, and Marshall Barnes gave at Dusk on Kadeoween, and it was funny to see how many people agreed with my assessment of Audrina (A few people commented on how awesome we looked together including my mom, and a bunch of people I spoke to actually felt like we would look great as a couple, and I joked to a friend on the phone, “Can you imagine 2 of the biggest TV stars in the world dating, but having competing shows? That would be awesome.”), and how crazy and insane it was to see “Young Hollywood” at it’s best, but all I could think about was how tired I was today.  The beauty of The Brand is that he is almost invincible, and works to the bone both professionally and socially, and the Gen Pop lives through me, but if I always go at this pace, I won’t make it to 50.  I used to be able to go without sleep for days, but now that I am 31, a hungover lasts 2 days.

I am the master of not caring what “The Katers: say about me, and how some jealous and sad ones try to derail “The Journey”, but the truth is that the biggest Hater I have is the one inside of me, “The Diabetes” (My Kadeism for my Type 2 Diabetes). I was diagnosed earlier this year when I had all the symptoms (Dry Mouth, Tiredness, Lightheaded, and peeing a ton), and I knew both my grandparents had it (My grandfather died from it), but refused to take medicine my doctor wanted to give me because I can beat anything myself, and actually brought my sugar levels down with crazy work out and diet. I didn’t want pills because I heard they cause erectile dysfunction, and I remember years ago when I took home a Random Philly 8 from 32 Degrees to have some fun with and “One Night” I was so drunk and blacked out that I couldn’t get it up, and when we got up in the morning she was annoyingly weird, so I said, “What is your problem?”, and she replied “You couldn’t get hard last night”, and I said, “I was beyond fucked up. My bad”, and then had sex with her twice in the morning and then got her out of the house to go right back to sleep. Her body was sloppier than I thought which is why drunk sex can be a disaster the next morning, because she had “Pencil Tits with Coke Can Nipples”, Thick “Baby Bearing Hips”, and was like a cavern inside. I ran into her at 32 again a couple weeks later after not calling her again, and she was mad at first but then tried to hook up with me again, but I blew her off, and when my boy asked me why, I said, “Dude, It was like The Grand Canyon in there”.

Lately, I have been very lax with my diet and drinking (I have been celebrating all of my early success in “The Journey”, and although I have been hooking up with girls left and right, I have been feeling tired and run down), and have been drinking way too much with the Phillies in the playoffs, and I am starting to see the symptoms returning (Dry Mouth, Peeing a lot, Tired and Lethargic) and to counteract I will consume 6-8 Red Bulls, 1-2 Scoops of No-Xplode, coffee, and soda throughout the day, but the truth is I need to go back into “Peak Kade Performance Mode” before the symptoms get worse.  I am so focused on changing “The Biz”, and being the biggest actor and author in the world that I forget to focus on Arthur Kade.

The Dry Mouth has made me feel like my lisp which was pretty much cured, has been showing it’s ugly head, so I went to my speech coach Sharon, who still felt that my lisp wasn’t showing up almost at all, so we worked extensively on my “ING” sounds at the end of words which I am elongating and swallowing too late so it extends the word to sound like “INGAH”. There was an amazing improvement by the end of the session, and I know that once I go into Anti Diabetes mode, I will be Prime Timing my speech again.

Here are some more pictures from The Kadeoween Celebrity Extravaganza we headlined, the videos of me working with Sharon on a speech with some hard words (Vid 1 is a dry run and Vid 2 shows me acting), and a video of a Fan who approached me on the street outside Cosi and started videotaping me so I took a pic and did a video with him as well, and when he walked away the girl with him was like “Was that Really Him?” showing how blown away she was to see The Brand in Real Life. I am also being told that I have a large contingent of fans at The University Of Georgia that are girls, so I wanted to give you guys a special “Kade Out”, and remember to always use protection.

“Will Arthur Kade be a more successful actor or author? Many think he will be the Jewish Oprah”…Arthur Kade…11/03/09

The closest Kade's been to a nipple in 8.4345654 months, and it's on a dude's costume.

So proud of you Kade! You can use an ATM and a camera just like a big boy!

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Trick Or Kade? (A Celebrity Kadeoween)

Worst Halloween costume ever, number one. Number two is video number three... free suite and nobody to share it with, that's how celebs role, yo! Once again he gets a picture with Audrina Patridge, but it's like all the others... looks like a fan ran up, got a picture with her and she was nice enough to say OK. More lies and delusion from Crisco McLispy, Arthur Kadyshes...

Halloween is one of my favorite nights of the year (I’ve renamed it “Kadeoween” because of my amazing “Celebrity Kade Style” domination of the holiday last night with Audrina Patridge and Marshall Barnes at what might be my favorite East Coast Club, Dusk) and what an amazing Kadeoween it was because my costume was “Clark Kade/SuperKade” and it was a HUGE hit!!. When you’re Arthur Kade, you get to live an amazing life and get to party with the “Top Of Young Hollywood”, and as I was chilling in my private area in the DJ Booth with my comped bottle and fellow Celebs (Audrina is a fellow TV star on “The Hills” like The Brand is becoming with his “Dev Deal” with IMG Media about to make the biggest show in TV history followed by my NY Times Bestselling Book with Trident Media Group, and Marshall is the hottest DJ in KA right now), I looked out at the sea of Gen Pop, and thought, ” Besides becoming the best at The Craft and winning Little Oscar, this is what “”The Journey’s”" all about. These people worship us, and we live the dream for them.” I think I have even decided to have the Northeast leg of my congratulatory/celebratory party once my show is picked up at Dusk (I want to have 4 parties in the 4 quadrants of the US-1)Dusk in AC, 2)LIV in Miami, 3)Avenue in NYC, and 4)whatever the hottest club in KA is at the time).

Everyone today has been asking me about hanging with Audrina, and it’s funny how much more interest people have in her than when I was hanging out with her co-star Kristin a couple months ago. She started the night in her area at her table with her brother and friends, while I was placed and partied in my area in the private DJ Booth (This may be my new favorite place to hang because I was bringing in girls at will and could pick off hotties from all angles of the club, especially if they were dancing in front of the booth, and I brought in two Philly 8’s, but they weren’t “Prime Time” so I was happy when they rolled out), and then I stopped by her table a little later to say hello, but then later she was brought over to the DJ area where she hung with me and Marshall the rest of the night. I don’t watch her show (I probably should because I am sure she will watch mine, so I want to show “Star Reciprocity”. This is where fellow actors and celebs support each other by participating or supporting their various productions), but a friend told me today that her and Kristin like the same guy, and I responded, “She blows Kristin out of the water. You know how critical I am on girls, and I am telling you she is stunning”. I may even see if she wants to do a guest spot on my soon to be hit TV show.

She is a KA 9.45, and if she was 5′10″-6′0″, I would give her a 9.85 because she is absolutely stunning in real life with a gorgeous face (Very exotic looking, great skin, and amazing eyes), ridic body, 10,000 watt smile, amazingly nice and sexy personality, great abs, and a super sexy tattoo on the back of her neck, and she couldn’t have been nicer to her fans while we were all in the booth together dancing. I texted a friend today, “The Pics don’t do her justice. Prettier in real life. I was stunned how pretty she was.”, and the party at Dusk was incredible because the club was at capacity all night, the girls looked super hot (This is a phenomenon that I should write about that girls look so much hotter on Kadeoween because they get dressed up in stuff that makes them look hotter, and I think they can elevate their Kade Scale rating by 1-2 points in some cases, but why don’t they always look good like that), and Marshall Barnes absolutely killed it, and I texted him this morning and wrote, “U Killed It”.

I ended up going to another comped after party at 32 Degrees where there were more bottles (Thanks again, Chris), and the guys at Dusk helped arrange a suite for me at Ballys so I didn’t have to drive home, and when I woke up this morning, I was totally naked, and had no remembrance of getting to the room. Those are the best nights, and while driving home I was jamming to Akon’s song where he sings about “Models and Bottles”, and thought to myself, “How right you are man. How right you are”.

“The Gen Pop tries to party. Celebrities own the party. Arthur Kade is the party”…Arthur Kade…11/01/09

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Recess Is A Party

I'm back to thinking this is all just a joke with no punch-line. Nobody can say so little in such a stupid way without it being some big put on. It just can't be real. When will Crisco McLispy realize he leads nowhere near a "Sinatra Esque Life"? And why hasn't some wannabe mobster not whacked Crisco for sullying the memory of Ol' Blue Eyes? C'mon Philly mob, have a little respect for yourself! I will admit though, this post isn't all bad. That 3rd video where Crisco shows us how they party in the 2-1-5? Pure genius. Phillies-Yankees in the Worlds Series and the people of Philly party to a song about New York. What a moron. And then there's my sexy little kitten in the next to last picture holding up her BlackBerry with the interlocking N Y on the screen... Yup, Philly's the place to be.

As I start to get ready (My costume is amazing, and fits Arthur Kade perfectly) for what looks like it is going to be an insane night (I am starting in the 215, then heading to AC to party with Audrina and the hottest DJ in KA, Marshall Barnes (Don’t Be Surprised if I end up in the DJ Booth with him giving crowd shout outs like we did in KA at the hottest club, “My House”), then heading back to the 215 to close up ZBar until 6AM), I was just texting with one of the owners of Recess, and commenting on how hot the club has become, and how it is “A Party”. Most clubs and lounges these days are all about sitting or standing around, and even though It is great to be able to find a 9 or 10 in that environment, the art of the “Kade Style” party is being lost in all the formalities, where I just want to listen to my man Jay-Z, have 2 girls sitting on my lap making out, and high-fiving members of The Entourage celebrating my “Sinatra Esque Life” (I can only imagine the levels this will elevate to when I have a hit TV Show and NY TImes Bestseller).

Years ago, the hottest club in the city was 32 Degrees (I owned the place because I was super close with the manager and owners, and I would ride up in the H2 that I was subleasing from my old boss right when they came out and only athletes drove them, and the funniest thing was when I had sex with a girl in the back of it after a late night one night, and never told him about it to this day because it was the hottest car out there), because all you did was grab tables, bring some girls over, dance on the couches, and take a girl home to have some sex with. It was the most amazing time in Philly, and I feel like Recess is bringing back that vibe, and I have pulled out and hooked with several girls already who I met there, some who just wanted a personal remembrance of “The Journey”.

Being the foremost expert on nightlife in Philadelphia (Maybe even in NYC and KA since the former premier nightlife website in NYC, Down By The Hipster.com wrote about me being at clubs all the time, and several people have approached me multiple times and told me that I should own my own club, and once I am an award winning actor and author, I may consider opening a club called “Kade”), for me to give a club this much of a thumbs up is staggering. Last Night, I was in the private VIP Area in the corner with some of Philly’s biggest celebs and socialites (It was funny because a huge fan brought me over to several of them and asked THEM to meet ME, and it must have been so humbling for them knowing they had just met a future global and universal icon), sitting on the ledge overlooking the bar, and had girls surrounding me, and all eyes in the club watching The Brand. I should auction off a night to hang out with me soon, and give the proceeds to charity.

“Arthur Kade stopped being a man long ago, and transformed into a symbol for the Gen Pop”…Arthur Kade…10/31/09

Mike Fazio rivals Crisco McLispy for "Biggest Cunt in Philly" title.

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