11/2/09

Side Effects of Diabetes - Kade would love your sympathy

Awwwww... so sad Kade, you claim to have diabetes. Guess who cares? NOBODY!

Another absurd posts, filled with disrespectful gems like Kade saying "Dude, It was like The Grand Canyon in there," to a friend when referring to a woman's vagina. And go ahead Kade, go right ahead and "counteract" your fictitious diabetes with 6-8 Red Bulls, 1-2 Scoops of No-Xplode, coffee, and soda throughout the day. Go right ahead and do that. We'll keep our fingers crossed that either your heart or your brain explode from this cocktail of insanity.


Finally, Arthur couldn't be more wrong to say that the lisp was cured at some point in the past few months. It's always been there, and it will always be there.


Everyone in Philly today was talking about the amazing “Kade Style” Domination that Audrina Patridge, Arthur Kade, and Marshall Barnes gave at Dusk on Kadeoween, and it was funny to see how many people agreed with my assessment of Audrina (A few people commented on how awesome we looked together including my mom, and a bunch of people I spoke to actually felt like we would look great as a couple, and I joked to a friend on the phone, “Can you imagine 2 of the biggest TV stars in the world dating, but having competing shows? That would be awesome.”), and how crazy and insane it was to see “Young Hollywood” at it’s best, but all I could think about was how tired I was today.  The beauty of The Brand is that he is almost invincible, and works to the bone both professionally and socially, and the Gen Pop lives through me, but if I always go at this pace, I won’t make it to 50.  I used to be able to go without sleep for days, but now that I am 31, a hungover lasts 2 days.
I am the master of not caring what “The Katers: say about me, and how some jealous and sad ones try to derail “The Journey”, but the truth is that the biggest Hater I have is the one inside of me, “The Diabetes” (My Kadeism for my Type 2 Diabetes). I was diagnosed earlier this year when I had all the symptoms (Dry Mouth, Tiredness, Lightheaded, and peeing a ton), and I knew both my grandparents had it (My grandfather died from it), but refused to take medicine my doctor wanted to give me because I can beat anything myself, and actually brought my sugar levels down with crazy work out and diet. I didn’t want pills because I heard they cause erectile dysfunction, and I remember years ago when I took home a Random Philly 8 from 32 Degrees to have some fun with and “One Night” I was so drunk and blacked out that I couldn’t get it up, and when we got up in the morning she was annoyingly weird, so I said, “What is your problem?”, and she replied “You couldn’t get hard last night”, and I said, “I was beyond fucked up. My bad”, and then had sex with her twice in the morning and then got her out of the house to go right back to sleep. Her body was sloppier than I thought which is why drunk sex can be a disaster the next morning, because she had “Pencil Tits with Coke Can Nipples”, Thick “Baby Bearing Hips”, and was like a cavern inside. I ran into her at 32 again a couple weeks later after not calling her again, and she was mad at first but then tried to hook up with me again, but I blew her off, and when my boy asked me why, I said, “Dude, It was like The Grand Canyon in there”.
Lately, I have been very lax with my diet and drinking (I have been celebrating all of my early success in “The Journey”, and although I have been hooking up with girls left and right, I have been feeling tired and run down), and have been drinking way too much with the Phillies in the playoffs, and I am starting to see the symptoms returning (Dry Mouth, Peeing a lot, Tired and Lethargic) and to counteract I will consume 6-8 Red Bulls, 1-2 Scoops of No-Xplode, coffee, and soda throughout the day, but the truth is I need to go back into “Peak Kade Performance Mode” before the symptoms get worse.  I am so focused on changing “The Biz”, and being the biggest actor and author in the world that I forget to focus on Arthur Kade.
The Dry Mouth has made me feel like my lisp which was pretty much cured, has been showing it’s ugly head, so I went to my speech coach Sharon, who still felt that my lisp wasn’t showing up almost at all, so we worked extensively on my “ING” sounds at the end of words which I am elongating and swallowing too late so it extends the word to sound like “INGAH”. There was an amazing improvement by the end of the session, and I know that once I go into Anti Diabetes mode, I will be Prime Timing my speech again.
Here are some more pictures from The Kadeoween Celebrity Extravaganza we headlined, the videos of me working with Sharon on a speech with some hard words (Vid 1 is a dry run and Vid 2 shows me acting), and a video of a Fan who approached me on the street outside Cosi and started videotaping me so I took a pic and did a video with him as well, and when he walked away the girl with him was like “Was that Really Him?” showing how blown away she was to see The Brand in Real Life. I am also being told that I have a large contingent of fans at The University Of Georgia that are girls, so I wanted to give you guys a special “Kade Out”, and remember to always use protection.
“Will Arthur Kade be a more successful actor or author? Many think he will be the Jewish Oprah”…Arthur Kade…11/03/09












The closest Kade's been to a nipple in 8.4345654 months, and it's on a dude's costume.



So proud of you Kade! You can use an ATM and a camera just like a big boy!

27 comments:

  1. Oh. Oh wow. Oh gross. The more I see stuff like "pencil tits with coke can nipples" and "like a cavern inside" the more I'm convinced that Arthur's biggest lie is that he's 31. It's more like he's 12, with some freakish retardation that ages him faster. Mature adults no matter how socially inept they are do not talk that way.

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  2. I am really hoping that the "fan" who taped with him is secretly from this board! If so, come out and show us your version!

    Please?

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  3. Notice the wariness in Anal's eyes in the fan video? Even he can't believe that anyone out there is buying into his delusions.

    Maybe the "Dev Deal" [sic] is for cameras to follow Anal around, documenting his decline and lonely death? If that is indeed the case, then You go, IMG Media!

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  4. A. Partridge is a person in a fake reality show, is known as a 'personality', not an actress, and I only know her name because of The Soup. So not impressive. Nor was your costume. It looked like it smelled.

    Your lisp never got better. You can't say S or T or X or C and sometimes J. You need orthodontics done. You don't pay enough attention to do it through practice alone.

    No one has ever made going to clubs look more boring than you do. I am SOOOoo glad I quit going to them every time I see a picture or video of you in one. If I still went, you would be a wake up call.

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  5. here's the fan's video (click my name)

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  6. Jess B:

    there is no way Arthur has made out with any girls recently. After what I saw at Dusk last Saturday? He resembled a dusted of paupers corpse that had been filled with water & hooked to a car battery. He is awful, plain, simple, and most of all 1/2 gross & 1/2 creepy.

    and what's with that lisp. My girlfriend told me to stop attracting gay club boys because those interactions scare the men off.

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  7. What fun to see the other side of the "video"! Kade seemed rather pathetic, while he's fumbling around for his camera; he didn't seem too thrilled that a GENPOP'r was filming him!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. Kent, how did you find that vid so fast. TKS for sharing, funny to see the behind the sceens action.

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  9. Lego - you seem so bitter. Its actually getting a bit fucking annoying now.

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  10. So Kadiptshitz has Type 2 diabetes, does he? And he thinks he's going to beat it without taking medication or insulin?

    Yeah, Artshitz, that's what a friend of mine thought, too. Know what? She's on insulin now, after having lost several toes because she figured she could beat diabetes on her own.

    Maybe you'll lose your gargantuan nose, or your useless dick will fall off. I'm sure either of those happening will improve your looks 1,000%.

    So go ahead and keep clubbing, drinking crap that's full of sugar and caffeine, continue storting coke, and not changing your diet or exercising regularly. You'll not only die, but you'll suffer. There is a God!

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  11. Hangin', I just did a search for "Arthur Kade" on youtube and it was the first thing to came up. (Maybe because the guy just posted it?) Anyway, I'm bummed he didn't know Kade's Corner (or even Blue) but maybe he was starstruck. I know how that goes!

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  12. Arthur, that post was Kadetardedly Kadeazing. This new diabetes twist is a good one. Good luck surviving diabetes while drinking 6 Red Bulls a night. On the way to the grave, Kade Style!

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  13. I'm waiting for the post in which Art claims that by merely being The Brand he cured himself of his own diabetes.

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  14. @Kent - I think it's time for another "Kade out!" video. The last one was so funny, and there have been some real classics since then. Do it, do it, do it!!!

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  15. Every vagina will seem like the Grand Canyon when you are weilding a toothpick prick. You'd be better off trying to fuck ear holes, Kade.

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  16. A château (plural châteaux; French pronunciation: [ʃato] for both the singular and the plural) is a manor house or residence of the lord of the manor or a country house of nobility or gentry, with or without fortifications, originally—and still most frequently—in French-speaking regions.

    KADEFAIL

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  17. In other words, a cheap rented semi-loft 1 bedroom apartment in Philadelphia is not a chateau, no matter how close the smoke detector is to the bed.

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  18. There is simply no chance he is managing his diabetes with that ridiculous cocktail of sugar, caffeine, alcohol and lord-knows-what work out crap he takes. I call BS. This (among everything else he has every said) is just a big, fat lie.

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  19. Hey Kent - my favorites are the "Kade Outs" with his voice cracking. Epic. Maybe a vid with just ones like that, but then it would sound like a hound dog caught in a leghold trap.

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  20. I'm not buying the diabetes thing, either. It reminds me of a former acquaintance, who freaked out and sought sympathy and told everyone in a giant drama queen thing which went on for weeks about how she had "a bad heart" and how scary this was at her young age and how no one should ever be a single mother because her mother was a single mom who didn't know she was passing on terrible cardiac conditions from the out-of-the-picture father, etc.., etc... All the friends rallied round, I was getting cardiologist recommendations, etc.., etc.., and then we eventually learned that a nurse had said, in an offhand remark, that this person had too high cholesterol and needed to work on that before it caused any heart issues.

    If Arthur truly had diabetes, he wouldn't survive as he does. Maybe someone told him once that he was going to get diabetes if he didn't stop living on Red Bull and booze, and he has built that up in his mind to having raging diabetes which he, unlike all the diabetics in the world who test their blood and take insulin, manages by sheer "Kade power."

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  21. @Anon 5:40am...

    Hello, MC 900 Foot Douchebag here. Those of us administering this site aren't bitter in the least. What we are is pissed off that this moron is running around lying and there WAS nobody to call him on his bullshit. That's what we do. There's no bitterness, just exasperation that Cock Gobbler can be so deluded and lie his ass off about some of the stupidest shit in the world. We are all just waiting for him to fail, but we might as well get some shots in while we can, cause you know in 6.458220 months he'll be nothing but a bad memory.

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  22. Time for an aids test dot licker.

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  23. It is so obvious that guy is goofing on him!

    We need more of this - more people out on the streets secretly filming him, sitting across from him in Cosi filming him, doing strange things, fake vomiting, crying, etc. Just generally as much as possible to distract him and freak him out.

    Just make his walks through the city an obstacle course of chaos.

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  24. The goofing papparatzi notion isn't bad but depending on how deep his head is up his ass it might be just the sort of thing he'll use to feed "The Delusion"
    But if this plan goes into play then make sure the "photographers" jabber in a forgein language/accent so Dipshit will burn out believing he was big in Nowhereistan...

    I think a better lesson to be drawn from this vid is that it's well easy to get that close to this no security, no chauffeur, "A-lister" in broad daylight with a camera...or a lead pipe...

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  25. allow me to reprint artie's tweets about the fan vid..
    -just got stopped by a fan who did vid on his camera and mine
    -tht was hilarious.he videoed me the whole time while i videoed him.he kaded arthur kade.kade style.
    -i can't even walk my streets anymore
    -he told me i was tall.6'2" baby
    -his girl was like "is that him?"i thought they were both gonna xplode.the brand nspires.kade is king
    i can't even watch lispy videos.this wehateyouarthurkade scooby gang we have here is the real book and tv show.
    artie stopped drinking for a while during the summer.circling....

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  26. When I accidentally landed on a post he had made on Feb 28th titled 'emoda.com and the first date' which I am convinced he didn't write as it was coherant and punctuated correctly and contradicts a lot of things he has said since, diabetes was brought up. I was confused at seeing that, knowing he is drinking sugar.

    Arthur looks wary and weary in the 'fan's' video...like he could start yelling at any minute -- not like he is a friendly guy, but instead is just some jerk walking down the street. I wouldn't have gone near him. Seeing a video where Kade didn't expect it to be 'rolling' was interesting. His demeanor changed when he realized it was on. If he doesn't like the attention, then he only has himself to blame. More candid shots would be appreciated.

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