The Art Of The Blow Off

This post and the accompanying videos tap a new low even for this piece of shit. When you watch the video "How Hot Is My Shirt??" just remember this scumbag is in a family restaurant, not some shitty club filled with drug addled assholes. There is a pleasant surprise for anyone who's a fan of THIS website in the third video, which is titled "A Star Struck Fan." Do you think we're getting to Cock Gobbler? I think so. And why oh why must this jerkoff film MEN dancing? Oh, I know, cause he's a closeted homosexual. Anyway, I didn't pull the pictures off his site because I'm being lazy, but take a guess what you'd see if I did? Yup, food, him in the bathroom, crowd shots in whatever shitty club he's hanging in and random chicks who don't go home with him. More disgusting misogyny and deluded stupidity from the cock gobbling Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with radishes)...

Before I was Arthur Kade, “Celebrity”, I was Arthur Kade, “Socialite”, and one of the many amazing lessons I learned being the center of popularity here in Philly is how to avoid Gen Poppers that I didn’t want to bother with, or as one would say, “Blowing them off”. When I am out dominating the social scene, I am in my own little world, and I am only concerned about three things: Taking home and ravaging a KA 9 or 10, meeting fellow peers or political connects in “The Biz” and figuring out how we can collaborate and further “The Journey”, and Making sure my friends get laid with a girl that they could never pull if they weren’t friends of Arthur Kade (I call this the “Kade Effect” where a friend will bring a girl over and say, “Have you met Arthur Kade?”, and they are so star struck meeting me, but after I look at them and deem them not worthy, they sleep with my friends hoping that one day I might notice them and hit it as well, but I don’t “Double Dip” after my peeps). I also have trouble remembering what people look like because if the girl is hot I will stare at her tits, ass, abs, and tits a lot of the time, and will forget them when I see them again.

Last night at G Lounge and Recess, there were two instances where girls (One was a Philly 6 and the other a Horsey Looking Philly 7.35) came up to me and tried to talk to me, and I blew them off, and my good friend said, “You are the master of ignoring girls. You should write a blog on different ways you blow girls off”, and I agreed, so here are The Brand’s blow off techniques for those deemed not worthy.

1) The “Have We Met”-I used this one last night where a girl will say to Arthur Kade, “We’ve met before”, obviously expecting me to remember meeting her, and sometimes even if I do I will say “Have we met” just to send the message that they weren’t important enough for me to care. I will use this 2 different ways because one way is to the ugly girl away from me because she thinks I am an asshole, and the other is if it’s a hot girl, then she will feel insecure and want me more because she thinks, “He must have a whole stable of girls like me”, so she goes home with me. It’s even more effective when you have already slept with that girl and you don’t remember her because she will fuck you better the second time to prove her point.

2) The “Excuse me, I have to piss“-I use this one when I am locked in a conversation with an 8 or under, and she is being forceful from letting Arthur Kade leave, so I tell her I have to go the bathroom to get away, and then disappear with another girl and make out with her in a different part of the club. Where this can backfire is when the girl says, “Me Too”, and follows you to the bathroom, or “I’ll walk you over”, but the key here is you have to say, “I’ll be one minute, just wait here”, and when you run into her later pretend you never met her.

3) The “Say Nothing”-This is when you meet a girl, and you don’t say anything while shaking her hand like, “Nice to meet you”, “Pleasure meeting you”, or even “Hello”, and just give them an annoyed look that they have invaded your space and should not be meeting you. This will usually make you look like an asshole, but the thing that has killed me in the past is that a girl might think you look more mysterious by not talking and try to fuck you more. When this happens, just turn around to the person who introduced you, and just say “I’ll be right back” and jet.

4) The “You sucked in bed”- This is when you run into a girl you fucked or hooked up with, and she was horrend in bed and you swore you would never go back, and she comes up to you and wants a ride on the “Penal Cowboy” again, so you just say, “Listen, you seemed like a nice girl, and we had some fun, but truthfully, the sex wasn’t what I hoped”. This will piss her off to the point where she may throw a slap out there so be prepared, but it’s a truthful and honest way to make sure the Rodeo doesn’t come into town again.

5) The “6 degrees of Arthur Kade”- This is where you meet a girl you know slept with someone you know, so you casually throw out, “Do you know John Smith?”, and you both know she fucked him, and it creates a tension that she wants no part of you because you probab;y know what she was like in bed, what her nipples are shaped like, whether she swallows, and how she is shaved, and having that in your mind makes her want to run. It can also be used in reverse where you tell her you know one of her friends that you slept with, and a “Good Girl” will never let you “Tap It” (This is more of an urban term for sex that my black friends use), although a “Slutty or Horny girl” will love it, and you can close her faster.

6) The “Usual Suspects”-This is my favorite (It happened last night) where a girl will talk to you in a club like you know eachother and you talk back like you know her, but you never use her name because you have no idea who she is, and finally when she says, “Do you know my name?”, you say “No”, and turn around and make you get away. Then make sure to find a friend that’s nearby and tell him/her the story so she can see you talking about her, and it will piss her off to no end.

“Celebrity isn’t a gift, it’s a responsibility for the chosen few Like Arthur Kade to be cherished”…Arthur Kade…11/14/09