Celebrating A Year In Obscurity - The Bland's Journey Turns One

Well folks, Arthur Kade's quest to become the most famous and talented actor in the world has just turned a year old, and what a year it's been. Arthur has put up a new post reflecting on his year, and it's honestly sad to see what he considers to be his high points, because most of them are lies, or are just plain stupid. 

Even more hilarious, though, is that the fact that after a year of attempting to become an actor, he has still not spoken a single word in any production. He spends his days trolling Actor's Access, by himself like thousands of other "actors," many of which I imagine are much more successful than he is. The most he has to his name are a few extra spots on some movies and tv shows - things that his often-despised "Gen Pop" doesn't even pay attention to. It's so funny to think that Arthur really believes that, as an extra, possibly in a scene that he may be visible for a nanosecond, he is adding something huge to the project. Witness this item from his "best of year one" list on the new post:

In working with some of the top acting teachers and talent judges in Philly, NYC, and KA, it is widely regarded that Arthur Kade has raised his abilities in Film/TV Acting and The Craft to award winning levels already, and this has led to him working on hit projects in Film and TV WITH fellow Crafters like Angie Jolie, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Alec Baldwin, and Dev Patel, and has become one of “The Fastest rising actors in Young Hollywood”. This has taken hundreds of hours of pain staking preparation and behind the scenes practice as well as a drive for excellence to become the greatest and most decorated actor in American History. Despite all the fame, future eight figure paychecks, and celebrity benefits that I already get, the end goal of “The Journey is to touch Lil’ Oscar and bring him home to enjoy for years to come.

Notice the word "WITH" bolded above. He was an extra on movies or shows involving these actual actors. He has the nerve to lie and suggest he worked with them individually, when all he did was stand somewhere like dozens or hundreds of extras on the same production. And about those top acting teachers and talent judges? Arthur, if you were so good then why aren't you an actor? Why have you not had a speaking role in a single scene in a single production yet? Finally, doesn't one have to have acted in a Hollywood production to call oneself a member of "young hollywood?" Even better - doesn't one have to ACTUALLY BE YOUNG to be a part of "young hollywood?" Being 32  years old, and looking like a 40 year old doesn't get you into this category.

There's one thing we do give Arthur credit for: he sure is dedicated to getting attention. The entire last year of his life has been so completely about his need for attention, and so much less about his dream of becoming an actor. He is so wrapped up in gaining any semblance of attention that he's willing to make a fool out of himself constantly even to receive negative attention. He fails to see that radio shows interview him because he's a once-in-a-lifetime absurdity (and even that's a stretch - a new idiot is born every day!) and he's stupid enough to think that Philadelphia Magazine is an "internationally read magazine," and not simply a local publication in the 5th largest market in the United States.

We completely expect more of the same for the next year. What else is there to expect? An actual TV show? A book that will never get published? Some casting director clueless enough to give an ugly, lisping, hyperactive and unprofessional asshole a single word in a movie? Face it Kade, when this time rolls around next year  - that is, if you're not committed to an insane asylum before then - we can guarantee ourselves that it will be much like this past year: the posts about parties and girls you didn't have sex with will outnumber posts about acting 12 to 1. 

It's just so sad that a person goes to bed each night dreaming about winning acting awards, and "practicing it [Oscar acceptance speech] everyday while I’m walking or driving," yet has absolutely no self awareness to realize how totally unreachable that goal really is.
Finally, Arthur, this list is for you. We feel like you need to be reminded of some of the actual truths about why you will not be an Oscar winning actor, or, even an actual actor at all.

  1. You still have a lisp.
  2. You still have acne.
  3. In person, people say you look like you're in your early 40s.
  4. Your hygiene is the only "third world" aspect of your existence. 
  5. You're just not dedicated to acting; you're dedicated to attention and partying.
  6. You have very few friends left. Your "entourage" usually just consists of you, all alone.
  7. You don't realize that people read your blog because they hate you, your YouTube videos rarely receive more than one star, and the comments say it all: PEOPLE HATE YOU!
  8. You don't have millions of fans; at best you have a few thousand people who read your site, again, BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU, and your stupidity and idiocy helps many people feel really good about their successful lives.
  9. You live alone, with barely any furniture, and you live like a pig.
  10. You hate everyone but yourself.
  11. Your therapy is obviously not working.
  12. You lie about every aspect of  your life, because you know your life is worthless, and lying is the only way you can be somebody.
  13. You're not a good Jew; you only use your religion for for attention.
  14. You really, really freaked the fuck out when the legowigkade blog started up - we still laugh at that: a supposed A List movie star reduced to moderating his own blog, and copying comments from legowigkade because people were leaving you in droves. You were so afraid, and so immature! We still laugh at that often.
  15. You accost total strangers for photos, many of whom are never high enough in the Kade scale, this contradicting your bullshit claims that you only associate with attractive people.


  1. Lispy: just to be clear - you didn't "party" with Jayde Nicole, a two-bit celebrity who is famous for being naked in Playboy and dating a an F-list rich kid who appears on a sh*tty cable reality show. You paid the cover at G Lounge JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

    Need reminding, Lispy? Here you go:

    .:Hosted by MTV's "The Hills" star & 2008 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Jayde Nicole:.

    .:Featuring $6 Azunia Tequila ice luge shots:.

    Music By DJ Issac Jordan ► Hip-Hop • Top 40 • Mashups

    ::$20 cover::

    You aren't special. You aren't a celebrity. You aren't anything other than a 30+ year old coke addicted, acne riddled assh*le.

    And your little "appearance" at a sh*tty slots parlor in Bensalem? Wozers, Lispy. How exciting. Did all the senior citizens playing the one-armed bandits seem impressed? And you were appearing with some real Z-listers there, Lisperado!! Gwen Gioia, former contestant on ABC’s “The Bachelor,” Stephanie Humphrey, CBS-3/CW-57 traffic reporter and Katie Sah, YouTube’s “KatiesOpinion.” Impressive, asshat! Not. You were making an appearance with a local television traffic reporter, douche. Didja' get $50 whole dollars for that appearance, wanker? Don't forget to report that income to the IRS, Brandoh. I know you have trouble with that.

  2. This is not the Year of the Brand, it's The Year of "The Situation":

    Dude, he's living the life you wish you had. While you're in Bensalem, he's paid to host a Party in Vegas.

    He's dominating the "Trade" mags, been on the Tonight Show, Letterman. I believe, he's doing "Talking/SAG" spots on some upcoming shows. The Tabliod media follows him.

    He's the only thing you can compare to........ and you are a FAILURE!

    He's on the "highest rated" MTV Show.

    Where exactly do you stand?


  3. I saw 'The Room' last night starring Tommy Wiseau. Fucking bejesus and hairy fucking Mary, it was a classic....an American classic like 'Gone With the Wind'...'On the Waterfront'. It's difficult to categorise Wiseau, but if my hand's forced, I'd have to say.......... James Dean....Marlon Brando.....a rotted pig's carcas.

  4. Like the changes wiggers. Let's hope Art's heart explodes on the next go around at dusk.

  5. the brutal truth is, no one cares about kade anymore. this blog is awesome, keep the videos coming, but no one cares to read his actual posts anymore, which is why the comments are dying way down. kade's old lies don't generate page views... he's going to need to eat a baby to shock people enough that they'll care these days. he's old news and also old looking... lol @ fin face

  6. point is, u guys cant stay away - whether its ak.com or legowig.com, u guys always come back. u tear him down, which is fine. u say no one in (nyc) or (la) or (mia) would give him the time of day, but, i guess u do, even if its by taking 10 secs out of ur day to write this stuff just so you're heard. lol.

    i'm sure the next comment after mine will be, "that was toolbag ak himself posting" or "that's another one of his douchebag nontourage players" posting. i assure i'm neither but even if i am, they win bitches.

    u can't resist from posting.

    thanks for all of your support. really. thanks.

  7. yes, it's me, chad. or teefs. or gunt. or nontourage. or kade himself. it's whomever u want to make me out to be. point is, we win we own ur attention. LOL. try to not post for a day.....yeah right.

  8. Enjoy your amazing victory, chimp.

  9. Uh, Fin Face... note to self: you weren't doing a "celebrity appearance" on La La Land. You were punk'd, dimwit.

    Per the NYTimes review of the show, published January 24, 2010:
    "For La La Land, [British comedian's Marc Wootton's] first American series, he unleashes three seperate characters on Hollywood." It continues, "Each [character] proceeds to dupe a series of gullible people on the fringes of the film business. (Showtime attests that everyone on screen except Mr. Wootten is "completely real and utterly unaware they are talking to an actor.")"

    Good lord, you're just sad.

  10. And his name isn't Gary, you twit. If you were really in the know you surely would have named dropped Marc Wootten's name and exaggerated your relationship with him, because THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. You lie, exaggerate, and make things up that aren't true, especially when it comes to allegedly knowing someone famous. You're just an idiot.

  11. LALA land is a bit less talented version of borat.. but it's good.. the people they use are world class losers (who else would do it) but kade is just dumb enough!

  12. I can't stop watching the La La Land trailer.

  13. Marc Wootton is a genius - though I must add not everything he does actually comes off. One that did in a big way was a fake medium called Shirley Ghostman, in 'High Spirits'. It was a very camp character, clearly a charlatan, but he took everyone in. It was very funny...his catchphrase was...' I feel your shame.....but you're not to blame'....fuck, just looked at IMDb and he's using the Ghostman character in LaLa Land. Well, it should be fucking belting.
    Another thing about Wootton is that he is totally anonymous - he's never in the papers, stays well clear of any celebrity shite. I haven't even seen him do an interview promoting a show of his. Despite being 'reclusive' as far as playing the celebrity game goes, he always gets funding from major tv companies because he is talented. At the other end one has Arthur, a shamefully bragging cunt with little talent.


  14. Just seen the 'interview' in LaLa Land on youtube. I can't believe Arthur never mentioned himself once.....he needs to sort his eyes out, they're like, sneering looking. They should be poked out and replaced with glass eyes that give him the appearance of caring, kindly.... avuncular even.