Create a Lego Kade and Enter Our Contest!

Design a douchebag and be part of Kade's demise!
submit to: legowigkade@gmail.com
Contest Ends September 30!
We will be publishing Lego Kades and entering them into a contest. There will be an interesting, worthwhile prize to the winner. To make your submissions, post a URL in a comments thread or email to legowigkade@gmail.com -- be sure to include an email we can reach you at if you win! We will make sure the winning design is sent to all of Kade's "Players", his acting coaches, speech therapist, step mother, casting types he's auditioning with... your design will be noticed. Celebrate the worst hair in "Young Hollywood" and may the douchiest, most block-headed Lego Wig creator win!
In other news, keep supporing our "Brand" of Lego Wig Douche-bashing. In 3 days we are nearing 10,000 page views and our most recent re-blogs of Kade's Krap are getting as many/more comments than his own blog--especially since a lot of his "fan comments" are written by himself. Thank you for your support! You're voting and it's clear you prefer our "Brand". (Maybe it's because you're literate and you appreciate us not being special ed students like Kade.)
Many emails have asked us, who are we? We're a collaborative website, run by a half dozen intelligent, creative people. We don't have much time to spend, but since we're sharing powers between a half dozen people, it works well... 10 min a day at most, per person. If you want to help out with administration, drop us a line. We're also open to submissions, free speech, and social commentary, so feel free to get in touch or send in submissions.
We have some upcoming projects and interesting research going on. We're going to make contact with people casting and directing projects that Kadouches has or may audition for and we're going to confront Kade's enablers with the facts--a confrontation to his blatant and ubiquitous lies. A phone drive to Wired96.5 (home of "Chio in the Morning") to request that GN Kang clarify her use of passes (received via her employment) for a mysogynist sociopath is in the works as well. We're gathering information from people who know Kade and GN so the letter we send to the station and its parent company is thorough and convincing.
Another project we are doing is a "look book", something like an actor gives to a casting director on an audition... we'll submit some of Kade's super-douchey pictures and clippings of his most retarded comments. There is a lot more to tell, so check back with us frequently. We'll be posting, emailing, and tweeting more information on other projects as we go... for now, enjoy the contest and send your comments here--be assured (insiders have told us) that Kade reads our site on an hourly basis and is shitting his pants than he can no longer control the comments by moderation.
Lego Kade Submissions:

read more “Create a Lego Kade and Enter Our Contest!”

Arthur Kade on the verge... of suicide? We can only hope.

Below is El Lego-wig's most recent, barely-readable offering. His new favorite hobby is saying "in the meantime" about everything... We can only hope that "in the meantime" between now and his next post he is hit by a very large truck or overdoses on cocaine with his enablers. Anyway, here is Kadyshes' newest garbage:

I received so many phone calls, BBM’s, and emails yesterday from friends and fans, asking me if my second audition for the possible pilot principal role went amazing, and after I left the audition, I jumped up and down, and pumped my fist in the air, and people in NYC were looking at me knowing that they were watching a budding superstar taking the next step of “The Journey”. I “High-Fived” 2 passer-byers, and pretty much strutted up Park Avenue, where people were looking at me like I was John Travolta in “Stayin’ Alive” (People always tell me I look like him when my hair is Poofy, and The Brand is now one step away from landing his first principle role, and having a chance to be part of such an original and groundbreaking project that, I could be the next Tony Soprano, and with the influence of my brand, my name, my images, and this blog, what network wouldn’t want to feature one of the “Most Up and Coming” actors of a generation (I am so excited I may piss my pants sometimes).

In the meantime, I ran into Dom from Entourage as well as my buddy Ryan Dorsey at G (Formerly of Z-Bar and now Partner/GM of Recess Lounge which I wrote about opening in September), and from what he said to me, “This is going to be the most exclusive lounge in Philly”, and he told me that he will only allow the top of the top crowd with memberships in, and the place is being designed in such a way that we will be able to dance “St. Tropez” style on the banquettes, and my favorite line of the night, “I interviewed 8 girls today, and don’t get me wrong they were all hot, but I don’t think I will hire any of them”, which tells me this place is going to be so off the charts, so “Kadeish”, and exclusive that New York peeps will want to come down to party with Arthur Kade and The Entourage immediately. My playground is about to take shape, and it looks like it will help me continue to transform Philly into a National Nightlife Powerhouse like my other cities that I dominate like KA and NYC, and I will be the Tony Goldman (The man who created Soho, NYC, and SoBe, Miami) of Young Hollywood.

In the meantime, a girlfriend just called me to let me know that I have a new famous fan in “The Biz” twittering that he’s reading my site (So many people don’t believe how many “A Listers” in “the Biz” are followers, I am being told the boys from Entourage love me, and the power of The Brand is getting more International and Cross-Centric), and a fan of “The Journey”, and he’s actually one of my favorite recording artists, Rob Thomas from MatchBox 20. I wonder if I could get him to play my next birthday party if I have it in France? By the way Rob, “This is How a Heart Breaks” is one of my top Ipod Songs still, and I loved when the NBA used it for the playoffs a couple years ago. Keep killing it “Kade Style”.
Here’s his twitter: “my friend turned me on to this. you’re welcome
http://arthurkade.com/ so cheese-tastic, it’s hard to believe it’s real.”

Comments are open... feel free to shout the truth about Kade's loserish pathetic douchebaggery.
read more “Arthur Kade on the verge... of suicide? We can only hope.”


Best of Arthur Kade Twitter - An Ongoing Thread

We're going to catalog some of the finer twitter posts by the royal delusional idiot himself:

Tonights not just tonight. Its an eternity. Arthur Kade
More to come!
read more “Best of Arthur Kade Twitter - An Ongoing Thread”

From the Mouth of Kade: Fashion Forward, aka "I made the fedora popular again!"

With Arthur Kade, there's just so much to laugh at on a consistent basis - the ridiculous hair, the spittle in the corner of the mouth, the aspirations to win an Oscar, the stories of him bouncing all around clubs like he's on a pogo stick while talking out loud to nobody at all.

Few things, though, beats Arthur's claim that he himself has popularized the fedora again. It's like he does not even realize Justin Timberlake helped make it popular a few years back, nor that Timberlake actually looks stylish in them. He's not walking around in a cheap floppy, poorly formed hat from some cheap mall store and pairing it with a t-shirt that says "I'm here to lay pipe." The fedora has been a popular fashion item for men for at least three years now. They were never meant to be worn with juvenile slogan t-shirts that only a 10 year old would wear.

For Arthur Kade to claim that he is "fashion forward" or that he is a "trendsetter" is like a mime saying they invented muteness.

Behold, Arthur's latest post:

One of my fans sent me a picture on Facebook that shows that everyone in “The Biz” is copying the trend that I have brought back back in terms of using the fedora as an accessory, and going casual with T shirt and jeans when your out. My look is so unique and distinct (Casting Directors always look me and down when they see me, and I can imagine them saying, “This guy just gets it”) , and I can’t wait until other celebrities start trying to rip it off, because that is when I will make another amazing one happen and continue my trend of being one of the most Fashion forward celebs out there. I’m on my way to NYC for my call back audition, so I am preparing with the sides on The Bolt, and plan to hit them with all of my passion and heart to try and win this part, “Kade Style”, and get this thing network ready so that I can win my first Emmy with groundbreaking, dynamic TV.

Here are three of the most “Smokin Hot” guys (Dane Cook, Jeremy Piven who is a fan of “The Journey”, and the Immortal Kid Rock) in “The Biz” jamming the Kade Look in Vegas:

Sound off in the comments!
read more “From the Mouth of Kade: Fashion Forward, aka "I made the fedora popular again!"”


Retardation Strikes Again: "The Next Vince Vaughn"

Our lisping, closeted homosexual hero has done it again... a purely delusional post of the first magnitude:
Certain actors are famous and amazing as just being 80% themselves, and then use the other 20% to adapt it to the character that they want to become so they are really always the same person, but giving some spice to create something new (Nicholson, Bogart, Brosnan, Ford), while others just “Disappear” into a new character and totally become someone else to the point that you forget that you are watching the actual actor (Oldman, Day-Lewis, Ledger) and the beauty of My Craft is that that is what makes it art. I am being told by everyone in “The Biz” that I have such a unique and different sense of being, that I will probably find my niche more in the first group, because as one person said, “Why run away from what works, and you work”, so I am really trying to find where my niche is going to be and where I am going to win my awards and make my millions. I am always the most funny and witty person in any room, so I wanted to begin training around comedy (my comedic timing is superior to most comics already, it’s just a matter of massaging my acting muscles through repetition to get them used to the various motions that are needed to hit the points so that the crowd erupts when I am finished at certain points with laughter).

The month of September is filled with so many classes and amazing workshops that I feel like my mastering of the craft is about to go to it’s highest level, and with everything that is happening in “The Journey”, I want to be ready because I have a meeting with a top area agent set up, and will be auditioning in front of the casting directors for shows like 30 Rock and others in September (I also will be starting Mike Lemon’s Advanced Film Class ((His top level Film Class)), a class in NYC with Jennifer Rudolph who works with the top agents and casting directors in “The Biz”, and an Improv class at the Walnut Street Theatre), and feel that if I put my best foot forward, I may get cast as a SAG principal based on my talent and looks, and I think my chemistry with fellow actors Tina (Tina Fey) and Alec (Alec Baldwin) would be “Off the Charts”, and could take an already hit show to a new level (The addition of The Brand with my fan following, recognizability, and popularity , and probably get me my own sitcom like Seinfeld or Curb your Enthusiasm, which will eventually lead me into huge movie roles to bring home “Little Oscar”.

While talking to a friend on the way home from NYC yesterday (By the Way, I have that second read with the cast of that pilot tomorrow, and hopefully will be cast to film it so wish me luck), she said “I heard people are calling you something like the next Vince Vaughn” (Because I have such a dry, quick, Jewish humor, and am tall, controversial, and striking, although everyone in The Entourage agrees that I am superior looking and have more personality), so in my session with Sharon today, I picked a comedic monologue that I can go to war with which will showcase my range against “Greed is Good” and will display how well rounded I have become as an acting prodigy and that I am not just a one trick pony like Jack or Pierce, and potentially put me, Arthur Kade, into a class of his own. I selected a monologue to learn from “Wedding Crashers”, and Sharon and I spent an hour breaking it down, identifying where I would spit it out hard, and where I would keep it soft, and those peaks and valleys are what determine the rhythm of the speech to crate True Comedy. This the read after we practiced all session, and I will memorize it for next week and I think you will agree that I am hilarious and for a first break down, I nailed it “Kade Style”.

What a rambling piece of shit post... have at it in the comments!
read more “Retardation Strikes Again: "The Next Vince Vaughn"”

Arthur Kade School of Linguistical and Grammatical Perfectionistism

We wanted to put together a quick guide for anyone out there looking to start a blog, or just to improve their writing skills to the kind of balls-ass, sick ass writing that Arthur Kade himself is capable of. We hope you find these tips to be useful!

1. Sentences can contain hundreds of words, and occupy entire paragraphs worth of text.

2. Always capitalize regular unimportant words like "General Population," "Doing Laundry," "Newest Jordans," and anything else to emphasize their importance.

3. In addition to the above, use quotation marks around such words like they're going out of style.

4. Frame entire tangents of thought and context within parenthesis, within an already rambling multi-line run-on sentence that has little to do with the section in parenthesis. For extra-absurd tangent-within-a-tangent insanity, throw in some double parenthesis.

5. Invent absolutely absurd buzzwords and phrases in an attempt to be cool: "Gut to Vagina Connector Bump," breasts looking "pencily," "GenPop,"wife her," "star fucked,"The Biz,"ultra rockstar,"featured background, "balls ass," "romanesque nose..." The list goes on and on...

6. Always, always use the word "amazing" within the first sentence.

7. Never, ever bother using SpellCheck.

8. Place periods outside of quotation marks, even though this is America, and in America we put them INSIDE quotation marks.

9. Refer to something as respectable as an Academy Award with the words "little guy Oscar."

10. Most importantly, always keep track of the praise that the voices in your head give you, and make sure to attribute such comments to fictitious random strangers, because everyone believes that someone tells a total stranger "you have a really great nose profile," or "That’s the charm of you, you know who you are and you don’t care what people think"

Study up! Soon you will be a master of these skills. Anything written must be one continuous stream of consciousness. Punctuation only inhibits the thought process, it merely slows communication to a screeching halt. Jamming as many non related thoughts into on giant line is the paragon of an educated writing style.

read more “Arthur Kade School of Linguistical and Grammatical Perfectionistism”

From the Mouth of Kade: Vision, aka "I can get any girl I want but have not gotten laid once this year

Another gem from arthurkade.com. The videos are particularly hilarious - he complains about pumping gas in a car that isn't even his, and he waxes retard about how he needs a personal assistant a la P Diddy's Fonzworth Bently. Do explain: why exactly does an unemployed EXTRA need an assistant?

While driving home from what turned out to be just an amazing audition (The casters kept me there for almost an hour reading multiple scenes, and asked me to come back for a read either Friday or next week with the 3 people cast already, and they told me 2 people were attached to the project who were solid actors from shows like OZ, and another cable hit, and they will be pitching the show to various cable networks like HBO and Showtime), and knowing that not only did I get a callback, but it happened right in the audition, I looked at a symbol which made me proud to be driving my Lexus home. I saw the Statue of Liberty, and all I could think was how much we have in common, and how much we both stand for that makes this country great like Freedom (From a career I hated), Liberty (From girls and lifestyles that were beneath me), and the fight for a cause that most people don’t have the balls to fight for (My cause is the creation of the “Modern Actor” where a talented, and great looking individual can re-write the rule book for “The Biz”, and show people you can be yourself, and not hide from who you are, but embrace the greatness of something like “The Journey”).

We love in such an amazing country, where a 31 year old master of a solid profession like Financial Planning (If I loved it, I would probably be making over a million dollars a year right now and working 30-40 hours) can walk away at the pinnacle of his success, start over, and transform himself into a celebrity overnight, and train himself to become great at a craft in 5.41 months that most people spend their whole life training at (I still have a long way to go with my training because an actor is always evolving, but based on my performance today, I am getting to peak performance levels), and do it while being the happiest motherfucker on Earth. I thought about Ms. Liberty in the water, and thought, “I wonder if Philly will ever build a statue of me like they did Rocky to symbolize what I have and will accomplish, and the pride I am bringing to this city”, and then caught myself and said, “I can’t focus on what will be and have to live in the moment because even though I am famous, I haven’t won any awards yet, and that’s what fans of “”The Journey”" want and need from me to make their lives more meaningful”.

One thing I have realized being Arthur Kade, is that life is all about vision, which is why I am such a guru with girls because I can see an 8 that with proper grooming and training can be a 9, and an 8 or 9 that can be lower because she is a Gold Digger, Too Old, or just Horrible in general, and that requires the ability to see 10 steps into the future (This what made me such a great advisor, I had a great feeling with the markets, legislation, and Fiscal policy, and my clients always felt like they were with a very knowledgeable man), and even with “The Journey”, I have always seen the future, and so far everything I have predicted is happening, and I will hold Little Yellow Oscar when all is said and done. Just like our fore fathers saw the dream that was America, I see the dream that is Arthur Kade, Award Winning Actor.

When I read the sides for the project (This project is so daring and innovative, and may require the kissing of other men ((Which I am a little squeamish with, but if Heath and Jake can do it for art, then I may have to step up)) that I told the producers that I think it may be groundbreaking, and having my worldwide following behind it would give it insane steam), I had a vision of what I wanted my character to be like, and when I auditioned, I could sense that even though the producers thought my look was perfect for the part because I am Handsome, Well-Educated and Professional (The part is a Gay Doctor who is still in the Public closet), I could tell that we weren’t on the same page as to what we wanted the character to be. Great actors play out the vision of the character in their head, and then live and breathe it to make it believable, so when I asked them what they wanted him to be and they explained it, I took a second, visualized it, got inside him, and then gave them the show they wanted (This will be my first featured principal role on camera and they called me “Handsome yet withdrawn”). They were so impressed that they had me continue the whole read of different scenes, and asked me to return so that I could read with the cast actors, and I have a feeling that if that works, I will be booked in October to shoot the trailer for the pilot.

Just another day in the life of The Kade. Videos from today, and Pictures and the menu from the dinner party at Chateau Kade that my roommate prepared for a small dinner party. I am also preparing my read for a well-known NYC Playwright who lives in Philly for a new script she wrote tomorrow.

Another great “Fan Mail” from a Fan in The UK that made me feel warm and fuzzy while also showing my global domination and mainstream appeal to the youth:

Hi Arthur!
Really enjoy reading your blog about yourself and “The Journey” - I
truly believe you will get there, you have the skills needed, and the
drive to get things done! Inspirational reading.

Anyhow, just a quick mail to say thanks for doing this (putting your
rise to the top of the acting profession in a blog, so people can see
what it’s really like) You are an inspiration to a lot of people
putting in the work to get ahead in life!

Also are you ever planning on coming to the UK? I could see you being
a big hit with the celeb circuit over here.

Lex Out!


read more “From the Mouth of Kade: Vision, aka "I can get any girl I want but have not gotten laid once this year”

From the Mouth of Kade: Abandonment

From arthurkade.com:

When I walked into my therapy session today, my therapist said right away, “Wow, you look tired and anxious”, and I replied, “I feel so beat up and ragged today, I have been waiting to talk to you for a week because I have so much going on in “”The Journey”"”, and when I laid down on the couch I knew it was going to be an amazing session. I don’t sleep much anymore because I am acting “Full time”, blogging, auditioning, socializing, networking, and travelling around the country (I am planning a European get-away soon), and sometimes I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, and say, “Am I going too hard? Is it too much? Am I invincible like I used to be?”, and all I can do is figure out the next thing to keep me busy, or advance “The Journey” to new heights, but the question I had today with her is am I destroying myself going 200% all the time? The key to anything like working out, is giving your body time to recover and rest, and then hit it harder next time, but I feel such a dedication to my fans and followers around the world that I don’t take days or nights off.

My therapist usually tells me how great I look every time she sees me, and when she said I looked tired today, I went to the bathroom, and stared in the mirror and saw that I have circles under my eyes, and am not as tanned as I should be and my energy level was “Too Much Anxiety”, and realized that whenever I feel this way (I have taken stuff to calm me down like Ativan and Xanex my whole life), I have a habit of letting myself go for the beauty of art and my “Craft”. When I was a financial advisor, I became so wrapped up in being “Number 1 in the country” that I gained 50 Lbs. (I went from a 31 1/2 waist to a 37) and then lost it all on Atkins, but the fact that I forgot to take care of myself took a toll on me and showed me that life is about more than just being a giant in “The Biz” because I know that I will be dropping 10 digit checks in my account eventually.

We analyzed why I was so hypertensive, and I told her, “I am doing things that have never been done in “”The Biz”" before, and I am achieving so much and have things about to explode, but I can’t take my mind off of it for a minute to just relax and enjoy my life, see a movie, or even take a nap”, and as we further went into it, we realized that this pattern has shown up before, and it’s because I am scared to start sucking at something and get abandoned by people like I felt when I was a kid. When I am on top of the mountain, everyone always blows me, but when times get tough, it can be so lonely, and I am always scared to go back to being that lonely little kid trying to be noticed, and what I have to realize is that everything I want is happening right now, and sometimes I have to just RELAX and let “The Journey” come to me. I told her, “It’s how I feel like when I am having sex too long and can’t cumb, and all you do is think about what can I do to make myself cumb, instead of just watching the girl ride you and enjoying the moment of ecstasy (While usually taking Ecstasy for years and years), and right now I need a few hours or a few days to enjoy the ecstasy of being a worldwide celebrity and loving the growth of The Brand and what’s about to happen.

I just came home and need to get ready for Sharon (my newest acting coach who has been on Saturday Night Live)and an audition for a musical right after with a well known NYC Playwright, and then my call back audition tomorrow for the Pilot that is being pitched to networks (The producer called me directly spoke to me today to confirm I was coming which leads me to believe that I am the “Front-runner” for the part), but I need to schedule a day or two off to hit a spa and just unwind and relax (I need some treatment to rejuvenate my face, because I look like I am 25-30 right now where usually I look 20-25 which can hurt future role selection) somewhere away from fans, photographers, and projects like other “A” and “B” Listers like Brad Pitt, Jack Nicholson, Reese Witherspoon, and Chrisitian Bale do, and I need to use their example for Arthur Kade.

Videos of some new character’s I’m trying to develop:

read more “From the Mouth of Kade: Abandonment”

Upcoming Topics

Arthur Kade: Coming out of the closet soon?

Arthur Kade: Psychopath or Sociopath?

The role of Ron Hansen and WOT Marketing in the Ruination of Arthur Kade

G-N Kang: Kade's Low Self-Esteem Partner in Crime

A Psychoanalysis of Arthur Kade (written by a Psychiatrist)
read more “Upcoming Topics”


A New Blog about Arthur Kade, Douchebag Extraordinaire

If you're interested in helping out on this blog, please drop me an email . Please use an ANONYMOUS account, bc i would ideally like to keep everyone’s name private so they feel free to share the maximum amount of details and facts they know.

The email address is: legowigkade@gmail.com

The most devastating aspect of us starting our own blog would be rapidly reducing the amount of Arthur's page views, because people would go to our blog for the real story and analysis. People would comment on this blog (no moderation, unless its true spamming) instead of Kade's douchey moderated site. Many, many less page views for him. Zero advertising revenue. He would be the one exposing himself to ridicule on a daily basis, but all the traffic would be at the other blog. People would read his blog once (but since we could post excerpts, maybe people could skip his site entirely) but not keep visiting to read the comments multiple times a day.

Secondly, due to less moderation, the truth would come out. We could post real names, real stories, and use whatever terminology (within some bounds) we feel is appropriate. No more having to wait for a moderator to let you say “L/e/g/o w/i/g”. And, of course, Kade's people can't spam our comments section... we would remove that crap, because it's pure spam. (If it's really bad pro-Kade stuff, we could leave it up and mock it...()

Let’s get this started soon… the material is endless and I’m tired of giving this guy page views. Without the comments, his site becomes totally useless, bc comments are the only reason to come here now.

Drop a line and join in:


After you email, I'll set you up with details about how to get a password to the Blogger site and how to submit material for posting here.

read more “A New Blog about Arthur Kade, Douchebag Extraordinaire”

Kade's Enablers: An Exclusive Report

Mike Lemon Studio (Kade claims he takes acting lessons there)

Sherrie Eisenhauer (Kade's speech pathologist)

G-N Kang (local radio sidekick who uses her free time to help Kade pursue his delusions)

more to come...
read more “Kade's Enablers: An Exclusive Report”

Arthur "Lego Wig" Kade's business card -- LOL

read more “Arthur "Lego Wig" Kade's business card -- LOL”

Follow us on Twitter

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Another video diss of Kade the Monkey

read more “Another video diss of Kade the Monkey”

Devastating Mockumentary about Arthur Kade

read more “Devastating Mockumentary about Arthur Kade”

The Cult of Kade's Nostrils... a classic

This video has gotten more views than any of Kade's own videos... LOL!

read more “The Cult of Kade's Nostrils... a classic”


From the Mouth of Kade: Parenting, aka "Just when you thought I was low, I top myself by insulting an overweight African American boy and his mother"

Just when you think Arthur Kade has reached the pinnacle of offensiveness, he produces the post below where he talks about browsing Target's "protein aisle," and gets enraged at the sight of an overweight African American boy, to the point that he fantasizes about yelling at the mother, who, no offense to her enormous size, could have thrown him through a wall. Even better is when he discusses wanting to "audition" potential women to "mate" with, as well as hoping for a test one day to determine if an unborn child be good looking and successful. That's Arthur Kade for you folks! He's also a rocket scientist!

Acting is all about reaching into yourself, and discovering a well of emotions that are so amazing and so unique to just Arthur Kade, that people watch you and wonder, “How did he do that?”. What has turned me into such an effective working actor and rising Hollywood star, is that I have experienced every emotion possible in my life because of my childhood and domination of my 20’s (Pain, Happiness, Sex, Love, Hurt, Jealousy, Loneliness) and each time I need to reach down to hit a “Home-Run”, I can think about a memory that creates the perfect scenario. I am generally a very happy person who gets whatever he wants at any time and anywhere (Especially with Girls), and most of my auditions and classes have stayed away from the side of Arthur Kade that I fear the most, Anger, Delusion, and Craziness, and I was interested to see where I was going to pull that from today because my audition was for an Untitled Non-Union Movie where I play an Italian Mobster who helps his boss revenge for the raping of his daughter and needs to deliver a death threat because he loves the daughter like his own, and while walking around in Target, I found the situation to bring it out. Even Though I had nothing growing up and was The Ugly Duckling until 18, I had superior looks, an intellectual mind, and a depth of soul that brought me to the promise land of “The Journey” and becoming a celebrity (I got recognized in NYC today walking by a restaurant, and I heard the 3 girls say, “Oh my god, there’s Arthur Kade”).

My trainer and I were walking in the protein aisle of the store today and noticed a VERY fat mother with an even fatter child and I said to him, ‘Please explain to me how that happens? I want to take the kid, and throw him into a boot camp in Florida, and make him work it off in a week by making him run, work-out, and starve him”, and he responded, “Maybe it’s just baby fat and he will get thinner over time”, and I got angry and said, “Judging by the mother, I would say, “”Don’t Bet on it, so I am going to say something to her”" and he stopped me because I was running late. I became so enraged because I am still not sure if I want to have children, but think it would be a good idea to reproduce and create a Kade Style legacy (I want to have a child who replaces me like Charlie Sheen did for Martin) because I would be the best parent and give my child everything I didn’t have (I would want my child to have my genetics with looks, depth, and charm, but the mother’s warmth and sensuality, and I have even considered auditioning women that I think have a cool look so that I could create a “Mixed/Mulatto” kid, so that he can look super unique and carry on my acting tradition. I think because I am Italian/Greek Looking ,it would be great to mate me with a Black or Asian girl and see what happens), and if I had one I would make sure it works out twice a day, goes to the best schools, dates the hottest girls/boys, and most of all lives it’s dream like it’s father. I wanted to take the mother and shake her and say, “Look at your fat kid!!!!, He’s disgusting like you!!!”, and then push her cart to the Dieting section and buy her the food I want her to buy him to eat.

The whole ride up to NYC, all I kept thinking about is what parent lets their child get so fat, and how when I become famous, I may create a charity that caters to fat kids to help them lose weight, because they can get illnesses like Diabetes, destroys their self esteem, they never get laid (I am not sure I could tolerate a boy who can’t be a “Player” and date the hottest girls like his dad did for years), and they fall into a life of drugs and suicide (This makes me question if abortion is a good thing, and can we create a genetic test to see what your kid will look like and how successful it will be), and that would not be a good look for The Brand as I make my way up the Hollywood ladder. Looks are so important, and any parent that tells you that you should accept your child however they are, doesn’t have a hot one, and wants to feel better about it. That’s why I was so pissed today, because at the very least give your son the best chance to succeed unless you want him to be an NFL Lineman or win a Hot Dog Eating Contest.

I took this anger and resentment into my audition, and I felt like the casting director saw how amazing my reading was, and how prepared I was with my sides. I am currently preparing for my audition for the gay pilot being pitched tomorrow, and also registered for some cool workshops in NYC which I will discuss tomorrow, and also got an audition with a top agent that was recommended by my acting coach, Sharon, and asked me to send my resume tonight.

read more “From the Mouth of Kade: Parenting, aka "Just when you thought I was low, I top myself by insulting an overweight African American boy and his mother"”