11/14/09

The Art Of The Blow Off


This post and the accompanying videos tap a new low even for this piece of shit. When you watch the video "How Hot Is My Shirt??" just remember this scumbag is in a family restaurant, not some shitty club filled with drug addled assholes. There is a pleasant surprise for anyone who's a fan of THIS website in the third video, which is titled "A Star Struck Fan." Do you think we're getting to Cock Gobbler? I think so. And why oh why must this jerkoff film MEN dancing? Oh, I know, cause he's a closeted homosexual. Anyway, I didn't pull the pictures off his site because I'm being lazy, but take a guess what you'd see if I did? Yup, food, him in the bathroom, crowd shots in whatever shitty club he's hanging in and random chicks who don't go home with him. More disgusting misogyny and deluded stupidity from the cock gobbling Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with radishes)...

Before I was Arthur Kade, “Celebrity”, I was Arthur Kade, “Socialite”, and one of the many amazing lessons I learned being the center of popularity here in Philly is how to avoid Gen Poppers that I didn’t want to bother with, or as one would say, “Blowing them off”. When I am out dominating the social scene, I am in my own little world, and I am only concerned about three things: Taking home and ravaging a KA 9 or 10, meeting fellow peers or political connects in “The Biz” and figuring out how we can collaborate and further “The Journey”, and Making sure my friends get laid with a girl that they could never pull if they weren’t friends of Arthur Kade (I call this the “Kade Effect” where a friend will bring a girl over and say, “Have you met Arthur Kade?”, and they are so star struck meeting me, but after I look at them and deem them not worthy, they sleep with my friends hoping that one day I might notice them and hit it as well, but I don’t “Double Dip” after my peeps). I also have trouble remembering what people look like because if the girl is hot I will stare at her tits, ass, abs, and tits a lot of the time, and will forget them when I see them again.
Last night at G Lounge and Recess, there were two instances where girls (One was a Philly 6 and the other a Horsey Looking Philly 7.35) came up to me and tried to talk to me, and I blew them off, and my good friend said, “You are the master of ignoring girls. You should write a blog on different ways you blow girls off”, and I agreed, so here are The Brand’s blow off techniques for those deemed not worthy.
1) The “Have We Met”-I used this one last night where a girl will say to Arthur Kade, “We’ve met before”, obviously expecting me to remember meeting her, and sometimes even if I do I will say “Have we met” just to send the message that they weren’t important enough for me to care. I will use this 2 different ways because one way is to the ugly girl away from me because she thinks I am an asshole, and the other is if it’s a hot girl, then she will feel insecure and want me more because she thinks, “He must have a whole stable of girls like me”, so she goes home with me. It’s even more effective when you have already slept with that girl and you don’t remember her because she will fuck you better the second time to prove her point.
2) The “Excuse me, I have to piss“-I use this one when I am locked in a conversation with an 8 or under, and she is being forceful from letting Arthur Kade leave, so I tell her I have to go the bathroom to get away, and then disappear with another girl and make out with her in a different part of the club. Where this can backfire is when the girl says, “Me Too”, and follows you to the bathroom, or “I’ll walk you over”, but the key here is you have to say, “I’ll be one minute, just wait here”, and when you run into her later pretend you never met her.
3) The “Say Nothing”-This is when you meet a girl, and you don’t say anything while shaking her hand like, “Nice to meet you”, “Pleasure meeting you”, or even “Hello”, and just give them an annoyed look that they have invaded your space and should not be meeting you. This will usually make you look like an asshole, but the thing that has killed me in the past is that a girl might think you look more mysterious by not talking and try to fuck you more. When this happens, just turn around to the person who introduced you, and just say “I’ll be right back” and jet.
4) The “You sucked in bed”- This is when you run into a girl you fucked or hooked up with, and she was horrend in bed and you swore you would never go back, and she comes up to you and wants a ride on the “Penal Cowboy” again, so you just say, “Listen, you seemed like a nice girl, and we had some fun, but truthfully, the sex wasn’t what I hoped”. This will piss her off to the point where she may throw a slap out there so be prepared, but it’s a truthful and honest way to make sure the Rodeo doesn’t come into town again.
5) The “6 degrees of Arthur Kade”- This is where you meet a girl you know slept with someone you know, so you casually throw out, “Do you know John Smith?”, and you both know she fucked him, and it creates a tension that she wants no part of you because you probab;y know what she was like in bed, what her nipples are shaped like, whether she swallows, and how she is shaved, and having that in your mind makes her want to run. It can also be used in reverse where you tell her you know one of her friends that you slept with, and a “Good Girl” will never let you “Tap It” (This is more of an urban term for sex that my black friends use), although a “Slutty or Horny girl” will love it, and you can close her faster.
6) The “Usual Suspects”-This is my favorite (It happened last night) where a girl will talk to you in a club like you know eachother and you talk back like you know her, but you never use her name because you have no idea who she is, and finally when she says, “Do you know my name?”, you say “No”, and turn around and make you get away. Then make sure to find a friend that’s nearby and tell him/her the story so she can see you talking about her, and it will piss her off to no end.
“Celebrity isn’t a gift, it’s a responsibility for the chosen few Like Arthur Kade to be cherished”…Arthur Kade…11/14/09






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11/13/09

Derisive names: the one thing Kadyshes does inspire

For a light-hearted, quick weekend thread, we thought it would be good to open a discussion of the best names people have come up with for El Lego Wig.

The best names seem to stick because they're specific to Kade. For example, Fin Face is a great reference to his abomination of a nose. Cockgobbler really brings out how this "leading man" is eerily reminiscent of an emasculated "bottom". And one of the best new names, Lispy McSlobberfuck truly brings to life how poor Kade's speech is and how little it has improved.

The other day, I coined a new Kade nickname when I realized his speech sounds like he's about to burp... so I've decided to start calling him for Cumb Belcher in  my future comments (I usually comment when not administering the site; I'm not one of the people who takes turns copying Kade's posts over here, I try to contribute new investigative stuff every week or so).

What are the best nicknames for this useless, talentless douchebag? Chime in below... and have a great weekend!
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How To Make It In Kademerica


Where the fuck do I even begin? The first glaring lie that Crisco McLispy spews is that his parents were standing at Ellis Island checking into their new homeland... 30 years 8.2998 months ago. Only problem with that? Ellis Island stopped being used in 1954. I mean it's only 25 years difference so how could that really be a lie, right? I do love that Cock Gobbler says if his Adams Family of a family had stayed in Russia he'd have gone into the Mafia or politics because of how Italian he looks. WHAT!? How the fuck would looking Italian help you in Russia? I'd say he was as dumb as a bag of hammers, but that would be insulting to the bag of hammers. My head hurts from reading his drivel. How he thinks a book he writes will get published is beyond my comprehension. And then to think it would be a NY Times Best Seller is like a caveman talking about traveling to Pluto before he even knew what a wheel was. But the thing that was "punch me in the face outlandish" to me was this quote: "...I thought it would be fabulous to lend my acclaimed writing and reading techniques to his book." Acclaimed writing? Who the fuck is acclaiming ANYTHING this asshole has done? Sharon? Mike Lemon? The "fans" he makes up and tells us about? I'll tell you who... NOBODY. And on top of all of that what the fuck is an acclaimed READING technique? Does he face toward a mirror and read the thing backwards? WHAT THE FUCK!!? Man, my head hurts. More stupidity and lies from the deluded moron, Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with RADISHES)...  Lies and bullshit highlighted in red.

As I was sitting at Recess last night on the “Dancer’s Box” watching the crowd watch me, I was thinking about how the next job that I had booked on Monday was so symbolic and amazingly eerily titled “How To Make It In America”, considering that Arthur Kade is the perfect example of the “American Dream” himself. It’s amazing when you look at my life story, and think, how my parents came to the US from Russia to seek a better life and flee Jewish persecution, then come here, give birth to a son who is becoming a Global marketing icon, while building great lives for themselves in the process. I wonder if while they were standing at Ellis Island checking in to their new homeland, if 30 years and 8.2998 months later, they could see being more “American” then they were Russian, and having a son who is showing the world that a good looking, and talented man can make his dream happen like out of a movie, and now I am working on a movie with Shannon Sossaman and Luis Garcia that depicts The American Dream?. That is true irony.
I can’t wait to be back on a movie set where I belong on Monday. I have felt like I was in a prison holding cell the last month or two , because all my time has been dedicated to writing “The Book” (This will be how I refer to the NY Times Bestseller that I have been writing), creating “The Show” (I’m sure my fans in Kade Nation can figure that one out as well), and writing “The Blog”, and the fact of the matter is that I am an artist and an actor, and sometimes I need a day to be on a set practicing The Craft, reminding myself what “The Journey” is all about before I take over TV and your local Barnes and Nobles with my book and am a multi millionaire celeb in NYC and KA. Can’t wait!!
Sometimes I think to myself, what if my parents would have never made the daring escape from Russia and come here? What would I have been in Russia, not given the opportunities I have now? I was telling Mama Kade this morning, “I think I would have gone into politics or the Mafia because of how I look Italian. I would have been a great leader over there because with my look and public speaking ability, I could have been HUGE in government over there”. She replied, “You can only concentrate on what god put you on Earth to do now (Which is become an award winning actor and author), and you are doing it “”Your Way”", and I am proud as your mother”. The Destiny of The Brand could have gone so many ways in the world, but alas, here I am Arthur Kade, living “The Journey”, and knowing that there is some kid crossing The Atlantic on a boat who will one day read “ArthurKade.com”, or watch The TV Show I am creating, or the book that I am authoring, and look up at his dad, and say, “Papa, I want to be like Arthur Kade”, and in the end isn’t that what it’s all about?
In the meantime, as The Arthur Kade Brand become more and more of a literary star, I am now being asked to review fellow author’s books. As you will see by the vid below, the publisher emailed me asking if I would review his client, Dewan Gibson’s Book, “The Imperfect Enjoyment”, and I thought it would be fabulous to lend my acclaimed writing and reading techniques to his book. It was such a cool feeling to get my own mailed copy in the mail (I felt like an agent at a top firm who gets and reviews writers life works, and then can tell them to “Beat It” if it sucks like they most do, or get it to a top publisher and change their lives), I will try and read it shortly and write my review on The Blog next week.
“If Marlon Brando, Paris Hilton, Kurt Vonnegut, and Ronald Reagan were combined into one person, he would be Arthur Kade”…Arthur Kade…11/13/09



read more “How To Make It In Kademerica”

11/12/09

We Puke A Little Every Time Kade Compares Himself To Frank Sinatra

Our comments coming soon...

Lies, distortions, and bullshit highlighted below.

The Gen Pop can never understand the amazing level of constant pressure that a rising actor and author in “The Biz” like Arthur Kade has to go through. It gets to the point that not only is my phone going off every 12 seconds (The Q&A was a perfect example of how in demand The Brand is on a sexual, social, and professional level) with people in “The Biz” trying to either talk to me, girls trying to get with me, or casting directors inviting me in for audition or work, but I am in the process of developing a Hit TV Show and authoring a NY Times Bestseller, and my mind and soul have to be on even when I sleep. I am a master of creativity and adventure (This is why I am so well known in the writing and acting community), and I have to constantly be “ON”, so that I can continue with the crazy level of success that I have had in “The Journey” after only 8.284 months, but I have to also make life altering choices like do I take today and work on Law and Order, or instead spend the day authoring or working on the TV Show with IMG Media, and all the while getting emails, appearance/Press requests, and twitters from fans from around the world.
While grabbing lunch with my friends at Butcher and Singer today (One friend asked me how is Manicure looked, and I laughed and said, “Manicures for Men are so “IN” right now. I really need to stop biting my nails!), I made the choice that I needed a few hours to myself to decompress, and let the pressure of Hollywood and NYC slide of my shoulders, and headed over to the Spa for a much needed massage. Most people will never lead the “Kade Style/Sintra-esque” life that I do and do stuff like that, so I think it’s important to share that aspect of my life with the world, and tell them, “Even when you’re dominating like Arthur Kade, you need to make sure you take care of your body (My body is the thing that makes me money as a model and actor, so it has to be my “Temple” which is why I work out almost everyday), and today was an example of that. I also loved when my masseur said I had a “Great body!”. My new Cali BFF, Molly Weiner also said thank you for the “Kade Style Shout Out”.
“Sometimes The Brand has to rest his mind so that he never has to rest his Platinum Amex”….Arthur Kade…11/12/09
I Had someone tell me today that with my lighter hair color (Ashy Blonde), I look Like Matthew Mcconaughey.















read more “We Puke A Little Every Time Kade Compares Himself To Frank Sinatra”

Arthur Kade Does Not Understand What "Peer" Means and Acts Like a Zit

Arthur really needs to grab a dictionary, or an English teacher, or something with a fully functional brain and learn what the word "peer" means. Below he suggests that Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Hillary Swank are his "fellow peers." We're quite unsure what he means by that unless he means that they are peers due to breathing air. Or having skin on their bodies. Or having lungs. By Kade's logic, I should consider Bill Gates and Steve Jobs as my peers because I also work in the technology industry. Or Mike Tyson because I've worn boxing gloves once. Or Usain Bolt because I jog every week. 


And what is Kade's fascination with acne? 
Finally, the remixed version of his recent Q&A, created by Kent Osborne, is hilarious. How in the hell can Arthur Kade even think Kent is a fan? Kent is quite obviously making fun of him, and doing a good job of it because that video is one of the funniest things ever related to Kade.
As usual, lies, distortions, and unprovable items highlighted below. We're also calling bullshit on the story about a fan running up to the car, just because we feel like it.

Becoming an amazing world-class film and TV actor, takes more work and behind the scenes effort than any Gen Popper can probably imagine, and although I write a world famous blog that is read around the world and updated daily, I wish I could spend more time showing Kade Nation the “Behind The Scenes” effort, practice, and repetition that is required to make Arthur Kade the actor he is, and show why “The Journey” has moved along so quickly. I spend hours and hours working on The Craft, whether it’s doing the exercises that my amazing coach, Sharon, gives me, preparing for an audition and doing scene study, reading books that talk about the art that I am becoming a master at, and even watching and analyzing movies and TV shows to breakdown performances. I feel like an NFL coach sometimes because I will watch film over and over to see the nuances and techniques that fellow peers like Bobby DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Hilary Swank use so that I can then incorporate them into my repetoire’.
I just finished an amazing Improv class, and as I was walking home knowing that I was at the top of my game (I showed Sharon my video from “The Heist”, and she said, “It was very very good. You were very understated and expressive, and I like how low key both of you played it. You should use this clip for your reel”.), I thought about how cool it would be to share with Kade Nation some of the various exercises that working actors like The Brand do to train our acting muscles so that when inserted in the right place, we can explode with any emotion and entertain the crowd. The exercise is called “The Inanimate Object”, and it is where the actor becomes any inanimate object and plays out a scenario of what that object would say or do if it was alive. Sharon had me do 2 different ones, and you will see improvement in each video, and I have included some of her commentary as well.
In the meantime, there was another amazing conference call with IMG Media about the development of our TV show today, and I can share that this show is moving along SUPER fast, and it’s amazing how much effort, thought, and various elements go into making an Emmy award winning show. I also promised to give a “Kade Style” shout out to a new Kade Nation Member and fellow KA Crafter, Molly Weiner (Sister of famous author Jennifer Weiner who has written some great books herself like “In Her Shoes”), who was just turned onto “The Journey”. She wrote, Was recently in Philly and someone turned me on to your blog. Good stuff indeed! I think you need to move the clown show to these parts..aka:Mollywood!”. I love her already!!! Maybe even one day, Arthur Kade, Jennifer Weiner, and Mega Kade Fans, James Frey and Anna David will collaborate on a joint project showcasing some of “The Biz’s” Best Selling Authors and show some literary street cred?
I also had a very unique situation occur today where I was waiting in my car outside Pita Pit, and a fan walked up really aggressively and started asking me to put my window down and he said, “You’re Arthur Kade?” to which I replied “Yep”, and he shook my hand and said, “I’ve read about you. It’s great to meet you!” and before I could pull the KadeCam out to interview him, he strolled off realizing he had just a future Hollywood legend, and that must have made his day. I can’t walk the streets or go to clubs or restaurants in Philly without getting the “Brad Pitt” treatment anymore where the whole place starts staring and discussing me, and asking for pics, but this time was a bit eerie because he came up to my car hard like a Baby Mama trying to get a child support check, and I balled up my fist thinking he may be a rabid fan that I may need to “Take Down” if he was overly zealous. I may need to really think about a security detail because I am scared that I am getting to a level where stalking and fans wanting to touch or feel me may be a bit too much, and all “A-Listers” have one. I can’t even imagine ho bad it will get when I create a Number 1 show, and have a NY TImes Bestseller out.
“For most actors, “”The Craft”" is a way of life. For Arthur Kade, it is an erection of excellence”…Arthur Kade…11/11/09
For All Of My Recent Fans: James Grey, Anna David, and Arthur Kade (3 stars of the Literary community together when they came down to meet me in Philly)







read more “Arthur Kade Does Not Understand What "Peer" Means and Acts Like a Zit”

11/11/09

Kade dissed by several former co-workers

Quite a few people have been getting in touch with us, now that our amazing blog has surpassed Fin Face Kade's own blog in page views and loyal following. We were told last week that Kade's former co-worker Brian Pieri completely rejected Kade's autographed bullshit picture. Well, the proof is out now.

What did Pieri do with the autographed photo? He sent it back to Kade! He dissed him! Awesomely hilarious. And, of course, now it's all public... another Kadyshes lie dashed.

Several people from the insurance sales company Kade worked for, Ameriprise in Conshohocken, emailed us a while back on a similar topic. Kade apparently showed up at their office to try to drum up friendship and seek attention. We're told people were rolling over laughing--literally LOLing. Everyone there was mocking Kade in one way or another, like he was a dumb monkey (not far from the truth). Kade's former supervisor declined to acknowledge him for as long as possible--finally he agreed to do a perfunctory video to get Kade to leave! On video, he tried to be nice... but Kade wouldn't take a hint. We're told Kade cut off the video in editing, to remove a part where the supervisor specifically denied that Kade was a top insurance salesperson. In the video, you see Kade badgering the sales supervisor over and over and over... and he tries to be as nice as possible.

Once again, we have to thank all of you people for writing in. We're glad you're enjoying laughing @ Artshitz. Normally, I'd frown on laughing at the mentally ill, but most mentally ill people do not wage a vicious assault on the rest of the city, ripping off its bars, soiling its reputation, and belittling people in long, rambling, slobbering soliloquoy form.

Email us with your thoughts, tips, and information. We'd love to hear it!
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11/10/09

Kade Q&A - Lies, Lies, and More Lies - What Else Do You Expect


You've got to figure that every time Arthur Kade posts a Q&A video, it's going to be filled with bullshit from beginning to end. Well, you're in luck, because that's exactly what the video below consists of. This guy's mind is on cocaine overdrive to the n'th degree. It's only fitting that he's sitting in a new apartment all alone, watching what is clearly a smaller-than 42 inch LCD TV which he claimed was what he was buying. I mean, the poor bastard is sitting all alone in a fold up camping chair.


And we take particular issue with Kade's complete lie about being banned from The Franklin, a bar in Philadelphia. He tries to say that the "gen pop" bartender mentioned his name twice in an article discussing The Franklin to grow publicity for himself. WRONG KADE! We know with 100% certainty that you were banned because you lied to the bartender about being comped by the managers. You walked out on a tab. Don't be a dumbfuck and say "there are conflicting stories out there..." WRONG. You know you read this blog and you know that we got inside information about why exactly you were banned. We'll go so far as to say that in addition to lying about your bill being covered, you were probably also banned for simple being the embarrassment of a human being that you are. So, fact remains, even in a Q&A all you do is perpetuate your own lies. You make most people absolutely sick to their stomachs. 
Also, we're going to assume that those of you who transcribed the Q&A will approve of our taking that text and highlighting all the lies from start to finish. It's posted in it's entirety below the video!



Kade Nation has been begging for an amazing Q&A session with The Brand, so here it is. I wanted to address questions from all angles of “The Journey” and the Kadeosphere, and give you guys some alone time with Arthur Kade. It’s funny because my furniture storage unit has not arrived yet, so Chateau Kade is a bit empty, and I am sitting in a beach chair with my Balls Ass Hot TV not hung yet (Pic Below). I have also linked the newest tabloid write up by my personal International tabloid follower, Gawker, where they say, “He’s Good, He’s Really Good!”, referring to my tremendous comparison of The Brand to Amelia Earhart, and great story telling and writing ability, and have a pic with me and “Mega-Celeb”, Jon Gosselin at the Post VMA parties I dominated in NYC.
“Jay-Z did Marcy Ave. Arthur Kade did Algon Ave. We’re both about to own Park Ave.”…Arthur Kade…11/10/09
Here is the Gawker link, and the Q&A you Kade Nation has begged for:
http://gawker.com/5401538/arthur-kade-is-amelia-earhart











Q&A Transcript:
Hey everyone, it’s me Arthur Kade, as promised I’m back to you with another Q and A, Kade-style, uh 8.19 months into the Journey (singing) ….bringing it live and direct from Philly time…. (end singing) Anyway, things are going great, but I wanted to take a few minutes to address a couple of the important questions out there, give you guys an update on some of the stuff you had asked me, I…trying to keep the video not too long-guh….is that even proper English? That’s why people think I CAN’T WRITE! (pause) Love it. Anyway, back to — my phone’s going off, bitches wanna talk to the Brand….can’t help — Anyway, question number one — hear that? People wanna talk to me. Importance. The Brand. 

Question number one: Is your disdain for girls with bad skin just a projection due to your skin resembling that of an entire leprosy colony?
AK: Uh, I actually don’t have a disdain for girls with bad skin, I just won’t touch ‘em, I won’t Kade ‘em, I want no parts of them, I’ll kick ‘em out of bed if I see pimples in the morning-guh, uh the reason being-guh, A, bad skin is gross and B, I used to have bad skin but as you can see by my facial features now, my skin is perfect, the acutane cleared it up except for these two bad boys right now (belches) ooh, sorry, food coming up, that’s from mainly shaving…and me trying to pick ‘em, you know, trying to pop ‘em onto the mirror, but, um, I just don’t like bad skin, I’m Arthur Kade, I date 9’s and 10’s and I’ve always had 9’s and 10’s um….I don’t want anything less. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: A bit hypocritical of someone who still gets zits to judge women this way, yes? He's not had a woman stay the night all year in the first place, so this is another one of his hypothetical thoughts in case he ever gets to touch a woman again. And popping zits into the mirror? First off, you should know that you don't pop zits because that creates scars. Secondly, that's just disgusting.


Question number two: How does it feel to know that you’re going to die penniless, single, and worthless?
AK: Um, it feels great to know I’m not going to have any one of those things occur. First and foremost, single? I have girls beating down my door to hang out with me right now, I’m a celebrity, everyone around the world knows me or is learning about me, I have my own personal tabloid in Gawker, um I can date anybody I want, it’s more a question of me being focused on the Journey. As for penniless and worthless? Folks, Kade-nation, I think both everyone will agree, I have a TV show in development with IMG Media, I’m authoring a book with Trident Media Group, I think I’m a pretty important human being at this point and I’m about to take over Young Hollywood Kade-style, puttin’ Young Hollywood on my enormous shoulders and ushering the age of the Modern Actor, I think I’m gonna be fine. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: A book and TV show that will never see the light of day. And we're still totally confused as to how he thinks he's a part of "young Hollywood" when he's a middle-aged man who looks like he's in his 40s. Does Kade even have any idea how many young actors are already out there excelling at what they do? Hollywood doesn't need Kade to reinvent anything, that's for damn sure.  Oh, and Gawker? All they do is make fun of him!


Question number three: Do you truly believe that the people who are aware of you are jealous?
AK: Yeah, there’s a lot of people out there who are absolute “katers” you know, Kade, hater, the combination, the compilation, “katers?” There’s a lot of people out there who just don’t understand, don’t agree, or can’t fathom and they’re usually—they’re all gen-poppers—fathom everything that I’m doing, the changes I’m making to the biz and that’s cool, but it’s funny, once success starts hitting, all those people just jump on the Kade-wagon and I just had two situations that I wrote about recently where girls were like, “Oh, let’s squash it.” or “I’m a fan now!” it’s like, (holds up middle finger) fuck yourself, you should have been a fan before. Ma peeps are with me. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: Not much to say really. Anyone jealous of him has serious problems and should either invest in a pistol to kill themselves with, or start seeing a counselor.


Question number four: Is it true that you have not had sex in over 8 months?
AK: That is totally true, the drought continues, I have hooked up with..a multitude of girls, whether it’s been making out, been totally naked or had my penis this close to their vagina (holds up fingers), it just hasn’t happened, um one time I just didn’t have rubbers handy and I wasn’t raw-dogging it, I don’t need anybody trying to get me to wife ‘em or throw some alimony checks at me, um so I just kind of backed off. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: An obvious lie, this entire section. The bad breath and mouth spittle are enough to turn any woman running away. Kade's favorite thing is to lie about interaction with women, and say he's "hooked up" to imply sex. Know who calls it "hooking up?" HIGH SCHOOL KIDS.


Question number five: How do you address the picture that shows that you were not part of that Nicky Hilton party?
AK: This one actually is funny, because first and foremost? I was..nn…uh, at the table with Nicky Hilton, Lance Bass and their entourages, I have proof of that having my friend Lindsay – ma phone’s goin’ off again! – I have proof of that, my friend Lindsay who came as my date! She has no affiliation with Dusk, was at the table with me – phone! Shut up! — um, but, that picture was taken while we were waiting to be escorted to the table because we ran in behind her and me and Lance Bass’s boys were put at another table initially and then we were moved to her table, so just so everybody’s clear, we were at this… all at the same table, I have pictures of me and her standing right next to each other, I don’t care what people think but I thought it was funny that people find one random picture of me standing out there – I’m watching uh, Will Smith and Ali right now get it on with his wife Jada – anyway, I was at the table. Let me make that very clear, the whole night until I partied with…(unintelligible) Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: We're standing by the photo as proof that Kade was out with the regular gen-pop crowd most of the night. The part about Lindsey Furman above is a lie as well, because it was confirmed that her event company or whatever-the-hell it is coordinated that night's event at Dusk. Arthur only got close to them and got photos becuase he was with Lindsey who had a hand in the event. And if we're wrong? Who cares! What's really pathetic is that Kade thinks this was some reputation defining night for him. Tell us Kade, have you ever talked to Nikky since then? Yeah, we know the answer to that.


Question number six: If you do not win any awards, Oscars, Emmys, Pulitzers…Pullitzers, Pulitzers, Kade-itzers….will you then deem the Journey a failure?
AK: That question doesn’t even exist in my world. There’s no doubt in my mind that not only am I going to be an award winning actor, writer, um I’m also probably going to win all three awards. My TV show that I’m developing with IMG is unlike anything that’s ever been out before, the book is gonna be dope. DOPE! and um, as for Oscar, there’s no doubt in my mind, my film acting is getting to a level that’s unbelievable, I’m going to be at the top of the game, things are moving in the right direction, I’m near speaking lines, it’s all gonna happen. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: We admit, we're very curious about this supposed TV show that's never been done before. We're guessing that in Kade's insane mind it's something brand new, but will be completely generic and be dead on arrival. Really, what hasn't been done already? As for the book, well, we feel very sorry for whoever has to edit that mess.


Question number seven: Do you regret quitting a stable, lucrative career so you can live on other people’s couches and spend gobs of money on acting classes to chase a ridiculous pipedream?
AK: Uh, let me make very clear, Arthur Kade to Kade-nation, the Brand to Kade-nation, I have zero regret (makes a “zero” with his right hand, places it in front of his mouth and moves it back and forth like he’s performing fellatio) Zeeeeroooo! Um, I am living a dream right now, I have a TV show in development with a major production company – ma phone goin’ off again! I’m a busy man, you hear that? – um, I have zero regrets, TV show in production with a major production company in development, I’m authoring a book right now, who knew I was gonna be a published author? and I’m, I’m living my dream, I’m on movie sets, television sets, people come up to me everywhere I’m at, want pictures, autographs, wanna say they’re a fan, what else can a guy ask for except for when I’m standing on the podium with little Oscar and I’m like, “What’s up…crew?” Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: Kade is definitely living a dream. A disgusting, pathetic, juvenile dream which he is going to wake up from someday, unemployable, undatable, and worn out from and let out the biggest 'Whoa, what'd I do?" the world has ever seen.


Question number eight: Is this whole thing in fact an elaborate performance art piece or a prank?
AK: It’s the same exact thing. It’s neither. It’s just me being me. Anyone who’s known me before the Journey knows I was the same person as I am now. My name was Arthur Kadyshes, now I’m Arthur Kade, that’s the only difference. And it’s Kadyshes, a lot of people aren’t sure how to pronounce my last name, “Kadyshes” rhymes with radishes. Radishes like the vegetable. This is just me bein’ me, I just have balls to the wall attitude just like I did uh, my whole life, and I’m just gonna make this happen, usher in a new age of actor. Next question.
LegoWig's Thoughts: Thanks Kade, we didn't know that radishes were vegetables. 


Question number nine: You do understand that Audrina Partridge is paid to be there and take pictures with her fans and you paid to be there and get your picture taken with her.
AK: (laughs) Folks, let me make very clear, I’m not paying to be there. Um Audrina took pictures with me, we were hanging out in MY area behind the DJ booth, she had her own table which I came over to meet and say hello, she was then brought over to the DJ booth where I had my area and we hung out most of the night. She couldn’t have been cooler, she’s stunning, she’s a beautiful girl, and she cu – it was awesome, we hung out the whole night, it was, it was just very nice to bring Young Hollywood to the table and show the 900 plus people that were at Dusk, it was crazy hot crowd by the way, what it’s like to be Young Hollywood and live the celebrity life. (shrugs enormous shoulders) It’s what we do. Kade-style. Final question:\
LegoWig's Thoughts: This response is pretty funny. His area is behind the DJ booth? As in not on the dance floor that he once said was the only real VIP section? We really hope that they put Kade behind a curtain and against a wall behind the booth and he thinks this is the hottest VIP section in the club. And again with the Young Hollywood! She is on MTV and has not acted in any films at all. We all know what Kade's not done. Explain to us how in the holy hell this has any connection to Hollywood.



Final question: Why were you banned from the Franklin?
AK: This is a question that’s been kind of lingering around, which I…don’t know why…I really didn’t even ta—kno—number one, didn’t even know I had a lifetime ban from a bar, I thought that was kind of funny, and number two, it’s a bartender in an interview who feels that he needs to bring up my name (holds up two fingers) twi—not once, but twice, in an interview, I don’t even know who the guy is, uh some you know, gen pop bartender and he’s bringing my name up, obviously to gain publicity for himself or to try to make himself a mainstream commodity but that’s all cool, um, I don’t know, there were conflicting stories going on, I know something that was said to me was completely false but I’m not gonna really get into it, you know there’s no real beef between me and them, I wish ‘em the best of luck, it’s all cool, I will not set foot back in there, it’s just me personally, once something like that’s said about me by an employee, I’m out. Um, but more importantly I thought it was kind of funny, if you guys read today’s Daily News, they also denied another Philadelphia hero Chase Utley entrance, um not knowing who he was, so whatever, it’s all cool man, two Philadelphia heroes, Chase Utley, Arthur Kade, didn’t go to the Franklin, we just do different spots, I go to A level spots as I always do and I’m gonna take it up another notch. Anyway folks, that’s been another edition of Kade-style Arthur Kade Q and A. Hope you loved me. (Kisses camera) Mwah! And the Journey’s ahead of schedule and I’m killin’ it Kade-style and I’m going to continue. Time to shut this sucker off. Big, massive, 8.wine nine..8.19 month Kade out for you guys…Kade out!
LegoWig's Thoughts: We're glad Kade answered this and we got what we expected. A total distortion of the truth. The fact is, Kade was banned from The Franklin for lying to the bartender about being comped by the managers. We have the proof and we already posted about it here. Kade was so proud to post his "hand delivered" invite to The Franklin's opening, and he went and shit all over it by pretending he's a celebrity and thinking his drinks were free. It's pretty funny that he suggests the bartender is only looking for publicity for himself! That bartender, and I'm sure a large percentage of Philly are sick of him and have every right to be.


OK, gotta go puke now.

read more “Kade Q&A - Lies, Lies, and More Lies - What Else Do You Expect”

11/9/09

Arthur Kade Rejected For Kissing Scene Because His Breath And Saliva Will Poison Women

The latest from Arthur Kade is so chock-filled with lies and idiocy, we're not even sure how to comment on some of this. Among the gems below:

Kade thinks that a local Philly cab driver saying "Kade Out" (and we're pretty sure he was asked to do this by Kade's disgusting friends in that cab) is proof that he is a global star. WTF? 

The bit about "massive finger penetration" and doing a, ahem, "oil check" is just gross. So is screwing women in bathrooms. Teenagers talk this way. Not 32 year old adults.

Can someone also explain to us how a "featured background" role would include a kissing scene? We're taking this one as pure fantasy in the sickening world of Kade's mind.

As usual, we've highlighted all the lies, delusions, or things Arthur cannot possibly prove:


When you’re an amazing emerging TV and Literary star, it’s tough to have things not go your way, but even Arthur Kade can have a letdown once in a while, and although it’s been forever since that’s happened, I was reminded on Saturday that it’s possible. I was excited all week, because I was called in for a “Featured Background” role called “Hot Guy” on Tatum O’Neal’s new movie, “Sweet Lorraine”, and the scene that I was supposed to be filming involved a kissing scene with a girl and 2 guys, and I assumed that I was one of the two guys since they booked and confirmed me twice, so I decided to drive up Saturday night to Brooklyn for an all night shoot (If you’re not a working actor, then the Gen Pop doesn’t know this is the most grueling part of “The Biz”) and show my “Star Potential” by nailing this scene “Kade Style”. I was even more excited because I am always told by the multitudes of girls that I make out with that I am an amazing kisser (I recently had a girl who I kissed while drunk in NYC in a cab tell me, “You are the best kisser!!”, and it was funny when I tried to unzip my pants for a blow job in the cab and she said “There’s no way I’m blowing you in a cab” which really turned me off but she still blew me later at her house anyway and it was all teeth), and I figured that this would translate beautifully to film, and provide a tremendous opportunity for the Film part of “The Journey” to go to another level.
After giving a great audition for the Off Broadway theater production in NYC 9The casting director said ‘Great Job!!, and even had me read the sides for the part before I left), I got to the set in Brooklyn, which was an an old house, grabbed the most amazing ribs that they had in the kitchen (My friend joked today at Brunch at Marathon Grill, “You drove all the way to Brooklyn for some good ribs”), and was told that there were 6 guys that were there (including me), but that they were only using 2 of us, and after eating and waiting for an hour, the PA came down and announced the 2 guys, and I wasn’t one of them. One of the other guys told me that the 5 of them took the shuttle in from Manhattan to set with the girl, and she made the selection from seeing them there, and that she had probably never seen me because I self reported by car, which would make sense to me because there I have trouble imagining a girl not selecting Arthur Kade after seeing him. I am told by so many people that I am one of the best looking men in “The Biz”, so I chalked the night up to Great Effort, and drove back to Philly where I dominated Recess and G Lounge, “Kade Style”, and did what The Brand always does, “Provide a show”. On the way out of the house, the casting director thanked me for the effort, and she couldn’t have been nicer, and it’s one of those nights that you know will pay dividends later in “The Journey” because people notice the effort, but it’s a shame because I think I saw the girl I was going to kiss while heading to the Porto Potty outside, and she looked like an NYC 9.3 so it could have potentially been an Angelina Jolie/ Brad Pitt situation of sparks on set, and a possible “Young Hollywood” Power Couple.
Some TOP Moments from A Crazy Weekend:
1) The 2 girls who sneaked into my private VIP Area at Recess where I sit on the ledge overlooking the bar almost anytime I’m there (This is now being called “Kade’s Corner-After Hours”), and came up to me and said, “Arthur Kade??” and I said “The one and only” and when we were taking pictures, I felt wetness in my lap because one spilled a drink on me which we thought was accidental at first, but when I went to take the pic again the second one spilled her drink in my lap, and they scrambled out of VIP to get away. I was standing with the girlfriend of one of the owners, and we were laughing and said, “That just probably made their night. They were probably planning that the whole night and are driving home saying, “We just poured drinks on Arthur Kade. Oh my god, How cool is that?”, and I laughed and said, It must be sad to be a Philly 5.4 and 5.85, and live for that, and the truth is that if I told them I wanted them both, I could have had them in the bathroom within a few minutes”. I may need a bodyguard to protect me from these rabid fans, but I’m happy I made their night.

2) I had a guy offer me shots While I was chilling on “Kade’s Corner-After Hours” (I declined because I wasn’t drinking on Friday to prepare for my big kissing scene because I didn’t want to be dehydrated in case we had to do 20 takes), and he ran into VIP as well and asked me to take a pic, and we did, and when he walked away, my friend who was standing next to me said, “This is getting crazy”.
3) Chilling out with Ryan Howard and a few people in The VIP Area at Recess at closing time, he started telling me that he just got DJ Hero, and I told him, “Dude, your life is now over”. By the way, Ryan, your hat was sick!!! Sooo “Kade Style”.
4) Another girl who snuck into the VIP Area at Recess on Friday came up to me and asked, “You’re the famous guy with the blog??”, and I nodded and said, “That’s Me, but I also have a TV Show and Book coming out”, and she kept trying to touch me and feel me up, but she was a Philly 7.78, and she obviously didn’t realize that The Brand is way out of her league so I ignored her.
5) While on the phone at my amazing table at Rouge during Brunch today, I was on the phone, and a guy came up to me at the table, and was waiting to tell me he love me, but then just patted me on the shoulder and gave me the “I Love You Nod”, and my friends asked, “Who was that?”, and I said “No Idea. Just another crazy fan”.
6) While walking into the Mogul Room at G Lounge, 3 girls screamed “Arthur Kade!!!”, and they were later overheard saying “He’s much hotter than I thought he would be”. Thanks girls….I know.
7) A girl who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave her massive finger penetration) a couple months ago came up to me in the Mogul Room and said, “Someone told me you’re getting a TV show.”, and I responded, “I am also authoring an award winning book”, but I remember she didn’t smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like she put on a solid 15, so I turned right back around. A girl must always be fresh downstairs because that is one of my biggest pet peeves and if I do an “oil check” and it’s not super fresh, I’ll ask her to leave.

 8 )My friends came in the Mogul Room, and said their cab driver heard my name mentioned in their cab, and he said “Kade Out!”. They took a vid of him proving this below. The Brand’s global image dominance extends to Cab Drivers who probably have no idea about Gen Pop “Pop Culture”, and yet they know Arthur Kade.
9) The Girl who came into VIP and asked to take a pic with me wearing my Killa’ Fedora. I love the kiss you planted on me while wearing it..”Kade Style” Kudos.
10) Arthur Kade venturing into Gen Pop area at Recess and running right back to VIP when the staring and touching from fans began. Classic!
“When Arthur Kade tells a hot girl to go home with him, the only excuse not to is she got hit by a car”….Arthur Kade…11/08/09   







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