Derisive names: the one thing Kadyshes does inspire

For a light-hearted, quick weekend thread, we thought it would be good to open a discussion of the best names people have come up with for El Lego Wig.

The best names seem to stick because they're specific to Kade. For example, Fin Face is a great reference to his abomination of a nose. Cockgobbler really brings out how this "leading man" is eerily reminiscent of an emasculated "bottom". And one of the best new names, Lispy McSlobberfuck truly brings to life how poor Kade's speech is and how little it has improved.

The other day, I coined a new Kade nickname when I realized his speech sounds like he's about to burp... so I've decided to start calling him for Cumb Belcher in  my future comments (I usually comment when not administering the site; I'm not one of the people who takes turns copying Kade's posts over here, I try to contribute new investigative stuff every week or so).

What are the best nicknames for this useless, talentless douchebag? Chime in below... and have a great weekend!


  1. I think Chad would make a great play toy for my dog, where can I buy me one of them?

    Diaper breathe

  2. assclown

  3. Cumb Belcher is funny!! haha. My favorite is still Cockgobbler. But I also love the name Lego Wig bc it encapsulates his complete lack of style and it's also related to a bad haircut from his stepmom, the woman his biological father was fucking instead of his biological mother during the period when both parents abandoned Cockgobbler

  4. Although I'm still partial to AK 4.7, I'll defer to the Dr. Shock-esque Papa Kade and go with "Anal."

  5. Loo here...

    Flaming Asshat.

    I'll thingk up more as the day wears on...

    **Someone made a comment about his face looking like he was smelling a hot fart out of a whore's ass... that still makes me giggle!

  6. I always address him as 'Arthur'

    a name that is just so removed from "any balls ass hot ass A-list" sensibility

    Arthur. simple.

    he's been stuck being little 'Arthur' his whole Gen Pop life. self hating motherfucker

  7. OMG Diaper breath!!!!! JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT WORK!!

  8. I always liked Dick Mitten

  9. Didn't someone once refer to him as the Exxon Kadez?

  10. Zombie Kade here-

    currently a big fine of Lisperado (kudos to kudo)

    cumb belcher is damn fine as well.

  11. ArturdTheZero formerly AKZListNovember 13, 2009 at 4:33 PM

    @Mr. Vomit...

    Yes, somewhere along the line someone did refer to him as Exxon Kadez. Well, I'm pretty sure they did. Genius either way.

    Dick mitten I love. Lisperado is great.

    I've been referring to him as Shithead on my Twitter. That came about when he said he needed a nickname. I coined Shithead because it's just a horrible thing to call someone. It's like Meathead, but worse. To me at least.

  12. Someone once called him a dick smoking failure. I loved it.

  13. The Face That Launched A Thousand Zits.

    The Bland.

    Spazzooki Mundano.

    Gory Hole.

    Kade Bummer.(Do Artoids Dream Of Erectric Meat?)

    Arthur Kade. Pronounced like Suede. The Fabric.

  14. Arturd the zero keep it up!!! hahaha

    did he block AKZlist ? i heard somehing like that, i guess he thinks you will go away if he pretends to like it..... which is pretty fucking weird

  15. ...anteater face....this made me laugh because he does resemble an anteater and it's the kind of name a kid would call another kid in the 'zoological resemblance' fashion, popular in the 80s.

  16. ArturdTheZero formerly AKZListNovember 14, 2009 at 5:55 AM


    Yeah, for the longest time he was trying to engage me. I guess he wanted me to think I didn't get to him no matter what I said. Well, one day I must have finally hit the right button because I got blocked by him. I don't even remember what button I pushed. It was rather benign in my mind because I had been telling him his father was a molester who needed to abort him NOW and that didn't do it. I wish I could remember what it was.

  17. Zombie kade here...

    Global Village idiot

    The greasy vole from planet X (I was also using anteater face a while back- this punk just looks like a burrowing mammal to me.)

    Steamin' pantload of kade


    Slobber lobber

    The weeping chancre of philly

    Ipecac on Two Legs

    Kaizer Sodouche

    Fridge box Willie

    Greco/Roman taint licker

  18. All great submissions. Mine favorites are omega supreme dousche and living abortion. Lesser favorites include Kade-ma (worst level of schmegma), kaderoid, kadeavitius (what causes his wretched breath) kademarks ( what his step mom washes out of his whitey tities when he brings over his wash), skadeing (excessive skat play), Kade style ( anything stolen by kadysheshis and incorporated into his spiel claiming it is his original material. Kade 1 N 1 ( a viroid spread by Kade where ever he goes by grossing people out, smelling as if he shit his pants, has never bathed, brushed his teeth, or washed his face. Symptoms of infection are nausea, blindness, and more severe nausea.

    Shrink here...

  19. Going back trough the archives looking for names and I came across this awesome comment by Matt:

    # Matt Beauchampon 13 Mar 2009 at 9:10 pm
    I woke up this morning completely hung over and thought how amusing it would be to make a website that is like yours but follows the life of the anti-model (me) but (and I don’t mean this as a compliment) there is just no fucking way I could dream up shit that is half as ridiculous as what you really do in everyday life. It is simply flabbergasting. When I saw the business card and the Salt story, I knew I could never outKade you. Ever. You are that good.

  20. Hahahahhaha

    # He's Enormous!on 16 Mar 2009 at 11:23 pm
    I don’t think you look like Brad Pitt, but close. I do see why she said that.

    If Brad Pitt had a severely retarded gay twin who had every bone in his face broken during a hate crime at a gay bar–that’d be you. All the way.

    Peace and love.

  21. Lispy McSlobberfuck was and always will be my favorite. It sums him up perfectly. Props to the original poster!!! (can't remember who).

  22. i believe "Lispy McSlobberfuck" was coined by zombie

  23. "Arthur Kade" is plenty insulting enough

  24. Jon and Kade equals AIDS.

  25. Penal Cowboy. He just named himself in his latest post.

  26. Sprinkler mouth.

    Borscht to the bone.

    Teenaged one-balled bitch (my girlfriend's contribution).

  27. akzlist... he only blocked you to try to make it seem like he doesn't care. but he almost certainly goes to your twitter to check what you say to him... in his sick mind, all attention is good attention, and not many ppl bother to really respond to him at all. you respond a lot so i'm sure he reads it even though its horribly negative

  28. The Bland- well done.

    And also, The Crap.

    And, The Uriney.