11/12/09

Arthur Kade Does Not Understand What "Peer" Means and Acts Like a Zit

Arthur really needs to grab a dictionary, or an English teacher, or something with a fully functional brain and learn what the word "peer" means. Below he suggests that Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Hillary Swank are his "fellow peers." We're quite unsure what he means by that unless he means that they are peers due to breathing air. Or having skin on their bodies. Or having lungs. By Kade's logic, I should consider Bill Gates and Steve Jobs as my peers because I also work in the technology industry. Or Mike Tyson because I've worn boxing gloves once. Or Usain Bolt because I jog every week. 


And what is Kade's fascination with acne? 
Finally, the remixed version of his recent Q&A, created by Kent Osborne, is hilarious. How in the hell can Arthur Kade even think Kent is a fan? Kent is quite obviously making fun of him, and doing a good job of it because that video is one of the funniest things ever related to Kade.
As usual, lies, distortions, and unprovable items highlighted below. We're also calling bullshit on the story about a fan running up to the car, just because we feel like it.

Becoming an amazing world-class film and TV actor, takes more work and behind the scenes effort than any Gen Popper can probably imagine, and although I write a world famous blog that is read around the world and updated daily, I wish I could spend more time showing Kade Nation the “Behind The Scenes” effort, practice, and repetition that is required to make Arthur Kade the actor he is, and show why “The Journey” has moved along so quickly. I spend hours and hours working on The Craft, whether it’s doing the exercises that my amazing coach, Sharon, gives me, preparing for an audition and doing scene study, reading books that talk about the art that I am becoming a master at, and even watching and analyzing movies and TV shows to breakdown performances. I feel like an NFL coach sometimes because I will watch film over and over to see the nuances and techniques that fellow peers like Bobby DeNiro, Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Hilary Swank use so that I can then incorporate them into my repetoire’.
I just finished an amazing Improv class, and as I was walking home knowing that I was at the top of my game (I showed Sharon my video from “The Heist”, and she said, “It was very very good. You were very understated and expressive, and I like how low key both of you played it. You should use this clip for your reel”.), I thought about how cool it would be to share with Kade Nation some of the various exercises that working actors like The Brand do to train our acting muscles so that when inserted in the right place, we can explode with any emotion and entertain the crowd. The exercise is called “The Inanimate Object”, and it is where the actor becomes any inanimate object and plays out a scenario of what that object would say or do if it was alive. Sharon had me do 2 different ones, and you will see improvement in each video, and I have included some of her commentary as well.
In the meantime, there was another amazing conference call with IMG Media about the development of our TV show today, and I can share that this show is moving along SUPER fast, and it’s amazing how much effort, thought, and various elements go into making an Emmy award winning show. I also promised to give a “Kade Style” shout out to a new Kade Nation Member and fellow KA Crafter, Molly Weiner (Sister of famous author Jennifer Weiner who has written some great books herself like “In Her Shoes”), who was just turned onto “The Journey”. She wrote, Was recently in Philly and someone turned me on to your blog. Good stuff indeed! I think you need to move the clown show to these parts..aka:Mollywood!”. I love her already!!! Maybe even one day, Arthur Kade, Jennifer Weiner, and Mega Kade Fans, James Frey and Anna David will collaborate on a joint project showcasing some of “The Biz’s” Best Selling Authors and show some literary street cred?
I also had a very unique situation occur today where I was waiting in my car outside Pita Pit, and a fan walked up really aggressively and started asking me to put my window down and he said, “You’re Arthur Kade?” to which I replied “Yep”, and he shook my hand and said, “I’ve read about you. It’s great to meet you!” and before I could pull the KadeCam out to interview him, he strolled off realizing he had just a future Hollywood legend, and that must have made his day. I can’t walk the streets or go to clubs or restaurants in Philly without getting the “Brad Pitt” treatment anymore where the whole place starts staring and discussing me, and asking for pics, but this time was a bit eerie because he came up to my car hard like a Baby Mama trying to get a child support check, and I balled up my fist thinking he may be a rabid fan that I may need to “Take Down” if he was overly zealous. I may need to really think about a security detail because I am scared that I am getting to a level where stalking and fans wanting to touch or feel me may be a bit too much, and all “A-Listers” have one. I can’t even imagine ho bad it will get when I create a Number 1 show, and have a NY TImes Bestseller out.
“For most actors, “”The Craft”" is a way of life. For Arthur Kade, it is an erection of excellence”…Arthur Kade…11/11/09
For All Of My Recent Fans: James Grey, Anna David, and Arthur Kade (3 stars of the Literary community together when they came down to meet me in Philly)







25 comments:

  1. He's an idiot. He can't even convey he's a tree. And Sharon's an idiot for thinking trees like oxygen. Christ, who's stupider here?

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  2. You know the sad part about all of this is that if he wasn't such an overwhelming self centered douchebag the likes of which the world has never seen before, this could have been a decent journey about a guy trying to make it as an actor and what he is going through to do that.

    Fortunatly Lipshits is a complete and utter waste of space so it is interesting for all the wrong reasons.

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  3. Zombie Kade here:

    MC 900, that's an easy question. Kade is stupider, because he's giving money to Sharon. No matter how stupid Sharon is, at least she's earning cash while this stunningly awful shit gets perpetrated.

    Kade, as usual- you suck. One would think in your laughably pathetic and moronic "improv" you'd go with what you know, which is a) a block of wood; b) a cigar store injun; c) a large potted fern; or d) a large misshapen dildo.

    But you crossed us all up and went off the board, recreating your everyday existence as a sac of pus- an area of expertise for you to be sure, but just a bit cliche given how you do this bit on every stupid video you puke out.

    At any rate, you have all the artistic sophistication, compelling watchability, and overall charisma of a squalling infant with a steaming pantload of kade.

    Your last two videos have definitively proven that there is no place on this planet, and in this existence, for you to act in anything other than in front of a mirror (or as you'd say "meer") in your princess bedroom.

    Face facts, feckface- you have NO talent at this. You are repellent, you are moronic, you are banal, and you are a waste of skin.

    Please, go tap dance on a third rail...soon.

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  4. Anyone think its ironic that he loves James Frey...who is famous for being caught by Oprah in a MILLION lies in his book?

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  5. I'm going to start taking classes from Sharon. Not to learn acting, mind you, but to learn lots of different bullshit phrases to use on my sister's 7-year old kids when they do the same fucking jump into the pool and call it 7 difference things:

    Uncle Matt! Watch me do a jack knife dive! [jumps into pool like a spastic]

    Me: Oh very nice! That was very expressive!

    Uncle Matt! Watch me do a can opener! [jumps into pool exactly the same way]

    Me: Oh very nice! That was understated!

    Uncle Matt! Watch me do a flip! [jumps into pool yet again in the exact same fucking way as the first two times]

    Me: Oh very nice! That was so low key and determined!

    Etc, etc, etc.

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  6. @Zombie...

    I stand corrected. I was basing it all on book knowledge when, in fact, there are other factors at play here. Shit, I'd blow sunshine up his ass all day long if he was paying me.

    "Yes, Arthur, you are a Master Thespian along the lines of DeNiro, Gielgud and Pacino. Can I get paid now?"

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  7. You know who else gets the "Brad Pitt" treatment of people stopping and staring...their mouths agape in shock and awe? The hobo who yammers to himself and smears feces on the walls of the subway.

    Asshole.

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  8. MC, about that blowing sunshine up anal's arse all day long.... you sure you want to mess with dark powers like that? We're talking potential space time continuum altering, apocalyptic forces summoning kind of stuff here.

    Yeeeesh. I don't think it's in anyone's interest to let anal lint, the greaseball from hell get sunshine up his arse.

    Zombie Kade...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzout!

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  9. Loo here... Forgive me for being a noob and all, but has anyone ever read Kent's myspace Blog about the day he met Arfurr? It's brilliant and we all just need to stop wondering why The King of mouth gunk doesn't get it... he's just too far gone.

    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=17639705&blogId=497800121

    Kent rules and Thurop is my new hero.

    Loo :)

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  10. Wallah!

    Thanks Loo, I had not read that in a while. Takes me back to the old times.

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  11. God I feel sorry for the dude who has to give you a massage. I imagine you blow 2 or 3 loads during the course of a 1 hr. massage and the look on your face when you are mid blow accompanied by the audio has to be one of the most disgusting one two punches anyone could ever experience.

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  12. Glad to oblige, Jbone...

    At least the masseur didn't have to use his own oil. Mr. Wessonality carries his own!

    Loo :)

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  13. "Why aren't you touching my neck, it's amazinguh". "It might by because of the boils Mr Radishes. I swear the eyes on the one on the left are following me"

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  14. HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! Inanimate Objects pantomime Is a BEGINNING ACTING Curriculum!! And is often used in childrens acting classes. Interestingly It is also used by health and sociology professsionals to teach children empathy. My name has a link to a good book about teaching social understanding to kids with Asperger syndrome. Look at page 37.

    This all makes so much more sense now. Artie is an asperger kid and sharon is trying to increase his socialization and interpersonal skills. (please no ass burger jokes, those are too simple.)

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  15. Mr. Radishes........HA ha to funny, Yeah giant shoulders weirdo Kade. Master of all tools and proverbial dull knife....totally useless

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  16. What ever happened to the Balls Ass Hot Gay Doctor Role in an Award Winning TV Show????????


    Guess they didn't want the green haired lisping asshole.


    He hasn't even gotten a call back for an extra in months.

    Wasn't there a Commercial Audition for a Sports Product?

    He doesn't even discuss that he has no SAG card.


    Young Hollywood?????????

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  17. Arthur is totally an Asperger's dude


    there is no question in my mind. dude misses just about every large to small hint and social situation

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  18. I'm betting the maple in my backyard will get a SAG card before Arturd.

    @Loo - I agree, Thurop is awesome:) The 7 and under crowd in my house are HUGE fans of his! Kent is a living performance art project and I wish he would start his own "journey" as an antidote to the poison that is Artshitz.

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  19. Yeah, we've all been calling Asperger's for months. Looks like Sharon has finally figured it out too.

    I have to say this again as well, Kent, you are a fucking genius. I actually didn't bother watching the real vid, and after watching yours, I don't need to.

    @Matt - your kids-in-the-pool analogy was amazingly apt and frickin' hilarious!

    Speaking of fond memories, click the link in my name for the vid that introduced me to troll hair. Hahahahahaa!! Thanks HCwDB, that sure was a douche! Man, if only I hadn't stopped by there for the first time in over a year, I would still be none the wiser... On second thoughts, fuck you, HCwDB!

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  20. Can someone post a link to Kent's blog page in their name? I can't copy and past from here,obviously. I'm dying to see it.

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  21. Thanks Alice! Why you always being so nice to me?!?

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  22. Read it....outstanding. Kent's a funny guy. I disagree with his final decision to admire Kade....but otherwise funny as hell.

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  23. Pfft, anyone who treats Kade like a butthead is ace in my book. Plus I work from home and have time to do this kind of useless crap.

    I did wonder about Kent's motivations for a while, but now he's sold me. Who wouldn't want their very own monkey to play with?

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  24. Kent, dear heart, that video was a bit mediocre. Despite tickling some funny bones I believe you missed an opportunity. Maybe you didn't have much to work with but just look to your left, you've got that fellow who does voices for a living - surely he could have come up with a passable lispy gay type and you could have dubbed A list Arthur's voice and the comedy would have had us in a spunky jocular delirium. Mediocrity aside, I did like the burp ...the lingering slow mo' made me laugh out loud - and so I'm patting you on the head for that, in a condescending way though, mind you, so don't get too comfy with yourself....not just yet.
    On a more personal note, how do you feel about befriending Arthur and being kindly to his face and then being beastly to him when he's gone? I think that would hurt more than AKzlist's entire repertoire....plus this site.
    There's something about it that leaves one feeling 'sticky'...you know that feeling...it's like a cross between uncomfortable and contemptuous.....uncomftuous, if you will. Yes, I agree with Alice, you do have your own monkey to torment (from a distance) but at what price to your integrity? What's your mum going to think? What's Arthur going to think? What the fuck is Foucault's pendulum? Does it swing both ways? My brain hurts, Kent

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