11/9/09

Arthur Kade Rejected For Kissing Scene Because His Breath And Saliva Will Poison Women

The latest from Arthur Kade is so chock-filled with lies and idiocy, we're not even sure how to comment on some of this. Among the gems below:

Kade thinks that a local Philly cab driver saying "Kade Out" (and we're pretty sure he was asked to do this by Kade's disgusting friends in that cab) is proof that he is a global star. WTF? 

The bit about "massive finger penetration" and doing a, ahem, "oil check" is just gross. So is screwing women in bathrooms. Teenagers talk this way. Not 32 year old adults.

Can someone also explain to us how a "featured background" role would include a kissing scene? We're taking this one as pure fantasy in the sickening world of Kade's mind.

As usual, we've highlighted all the lies, delusions, or things Arthur cannot possibly prove:


When you’re an amazing emerging TV and Literary star, it’s tough to have things not go your way, but even Arthur Kade can have a letdown once in a while, and although it’s been forever since that’s happened, I was reminded on Saturday that it’s possible. I was excited all week, because I was called in for a “Featured Background” role called “Hot Guy” on Tatum O’Neal’s new movie, “Sweet Lorraine”, and the scene that I was supposed to be filming involved a kissing scene with a girl and 2 guys, and I assumed that I was one of the two guys since they booked and confirmed me twice, so I decided to drive up Saturday night to Brooklyn for an all night shoot (If you’re not a working actor, then the Gen Pop doesn’t know this is the most grueling part of “The Biz”) and show my “Star Potential” by nailing this scene “Kade Style”. I was even more excited because I am always told by the multitudes of girls that I make out with that I am an amazing kisser (I recently had a girl who I kissed while drunk in NYC in a cab tell me, “You are the best kisser!!”, and it was funny when I tried to unzip my pants for a blow job in the cab and she said “There’s no way I’m blowing you in a cab” which really turned me off but she still blew me later at her house anyway and it was all teeth), and I figured that this would translate beautifully to film, and provide a tremendous opportunity for the Film part of “The Journey” to go to another level.
After giving a great audition for the Off Broadway theater production in NYC 9The casting director said ‘Great Job!!, and even had me read the sides for the part before I left), I got to the set in Brooklyn, which was an an old house, grabbed the most amazing ribs that they had in the kitchen (My friend joked today at Brunch at Marathon Grill, “You drove all the way to Brooklyn for some good ribs”), and was told that there were 6 guys that were there (including me), but that they were only using 2 of us, and after eating and waiting for an hour, the PA came down and announced the 2 guys, and I wasn’t one of them. One of the other guys told me that the 5 of them took the shuttle in from Manhattan to set with the girl, and she made the selection from seeing them there, and that she had probably never seen me because I self reported by car, which would make sense to me because there I have trouble imagining a girl not selecting Arthur Kade after seeing him. I am told by so many people that I am one of the best looking men in “The Biz”, so I chalked the night up to Great Effort, and drove back to Philly where I dominated Recess and G Lounge, “Kade Style”, and did what The Brand always does, “Provide a show”. On the way out of the house, the casting director thanked me for the effort, and she couldn’t have been nicer, and it’s one of those nights that you know will pay dividends later in “The Journey” because people notice the effort, but it’s a shame because I think I saw the girl I was going to kiss while heading to the Porto Potty outside, and she looked like an NYC 9.3 so it could have potentially been an Angelina Jolie/ Brad Pitt situation of sparks on set, and a possible “Young Hollywood” Power Couple.
Some TOP Moments from A Crazy Weekend:
1) The 2 girls who sneaked into my private VIP Area at Recess where I sit on the ledge overlooking the bar almost anytime I’m there (This is now being called “Kade’s Corner-After Hours”), and came up to me and said, “Arthur Kade??” and I said “The one and only” and when we were taking pictures, I felt wetness in my lap because one spilled a drink on me which we thought was accidental at first, but when I went to take the pic again the second one spilled her drink in my lap, and they scrambled out of VIP to get away. I was standing with the girlfriend of one of the owners, and we were laughing and said, “That just probably made their night. They were probably planning that the whole night and are driving home saying, “We just poured drinks on Arthur Kade. Oh my god, How cool is that?”, and I laughed and said, It must be sad to be a Philly 5.4 and 5.85, and live for that, and the truth is that if I told them I wanted them both, I could have had them in the bathroom within a few minutes”. I may need a bodyguard to protect me from these rabid fans, but I’m happy I made their night.

2) I had a guy offer me shots While I was chilling on “Kade’s Corner-After Hours” (I declined because I wasn’t drinking on Friday to prepare for my big kissing scene because I didn’t want to be dehydrated in case we had to do 20 takes), and he ran into VIP as well and asked me to take a pic, and we did, and when he walked away, my friend who was standing next to me said, “This is getting crazy”.
3) Chilling out with Ryan Howard and a few people in The VIP Area at Recess at closing time, he started telling me that he just got DJ Hero, and I told him, “Dude, your life is now over”. By the way, Ryan, your hat was sick!!! Sooo “Kade Style”.
4) Another girl who snuck into the VIP Area at Recess on Friday came up to me and asked, “You’re the famous guy with the blog??”, and I nodded and said, “That’s Me, but I also have a TV Show and Book coming out”, and she kept trying to touch me and feel me up, but she was a Philly 7.78, and she obviously didn’t realize that The Brand is way out of her league so I ignored her.
5) While on the phone at my amazing table at Rouge during Brunch today, I was on the phone, and a guy came up to me at the table, and was waiting to tell me he love me, but then just patted me on the shoulder and gave me the “I Love You Nod”, and my friends asked, “Who was that?”, and I said “No Idea. Just another crazy fan”.
6) While walking into the Mogul Room at G Lounge, 3 girls screamed “Arthur Kade!!!”, and they were later overheard saying “He’s much hotter than I thought he would be”. Thanks girls….I know.
7) A girl who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave her massive finger penetration) a couple months ago came up to me in the Mogul Room and said, “Someone told me you’re getting a TV show.”, and I responded, “I am also authoring an award winning book”, but I remember she didn’t smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like she put on a solid 15, so I turned right back around. A girl must always be fresh downstairs because that is one of my biggest pet peeves and if I do an “oil check” and it’s not super fresh, I’ll ask her to leave.

 8 )My friends came in the Mogul Room, and said their cab driver heard my name mentioned in their cab, and he said “Kade Out!”. They took a vid of him proving this below. The Brand’s global image dominance extends to Cab Drivers who probably have no idea about Gen Pop “Pop Culture”, and yet they know Arthur Kade.
9) The Girl who came into VIP and asked to take a pic with me wearing my Killa’ Fedora. I love the kiss you planted on me while wearing it..”Kade Style” Kudos.
10) Arthur Kade venturing into Gen Pop area at Recess and running right back to VIP when the staring and touching from fans began. Classic!
“When Arthur Kade tells a hot girl to go home with him, the only excuse not to is she got hit by a car”….Arthur Kade…11/08/09   







37 comments:

  1. Wow some bartender thought Kang was a dude, big surprise.

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  2. The cruel irony of having that big of a nose with that bad of breathe is not lost on me. Fucking guido ham licker.

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  3. in that first youtube video, don't bother watching it. just look at that image capture you're supposed to click. kade has this huge, cavernous line around his eye--- usually people don't develop that sort of serious wrinkle until the mid-forties. that is the wrinkle of a 50 year-old, really. and he's supposed to look 'mid-twenties' and 'young hollywood'? Sad.

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  4. Gack!

    It's not called 'authoring' you retarded Neanderthal buffoon, it's called WRITING!!!

    Ugh, just ugh. His cretinous existence just continues to exacerbate the FUCK out of me!

    I know Artshitz, you don't know the meaning of the words 'cretinous' or 'exacerbate'. But you can look them up now, since I spelled them correctly for you.

    Fucktarded useless cum dumpster....

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  5. I was trying to work out this extra kissing thing too, ok someone kissing in the back round, but was it 2 guys and 1 girl and 6 other guys making out? What kind of film is this?

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  6. Me thinks he calls it "authoring" because he's NOT writing--he has a ghostwriter. So, he's just spewing what how he wants the story to read, then the GW will do all the work of trying to make it make sense (hahaha), flow, and be something Trident can consider submitting to publishers.


    There are plenty of ads on Craigslist for ghost writers--they're hysterical: "I've got a sure-fire bestselling story idea, but need a professional to help me flesh it out. No pay up front, but when the millions pour in, you'll get your share."

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  7. Don't know about you others but the highlighting of his lies is hilarious. It gives some nice emphasis to what we already know, but it's funny as hell to see how much of his posts are lies.

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  8. First of all, I think that Massive Finger Penetration would be a kick ass name for a band.

    Secondly, if the two girls who dumped a drink in Kade's lap are reading this blog, you are my heroes. If you're ever in Austin, TX - I'll take care of you "Beauchamp Style" - which means we will eat a pot brownie, drink some Miller Lites at the local dive bar and watch some football together...and I will actually pick up the tab and tip our waitress 20%.

    Beauchamp OUT!

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  9. What a retard. Lispy McSlobberfuck is getting more delusional by the day. We need an over/under on number of days before he jumps from a skyscraper.

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  10. Matt,
    You could at least take the girls to El Camino for a burger.

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  11. THE REAL DEAL Moments from A KADEZY Weekend:

    1) The 2 girls who WERE INVITED into SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW’S private VIP Area at Recess where I sit on the OUTSIDE overlooking the WHOLE BAR EVERYSINGLETIME I’m there (This is now being called “ESCAPE FROM Kade Corner”), I WENT UP TO THEM AND SAID, “I’M Arthur Kade??” and THEY said “HOLY FUCKIN SHIT, WHAT A RIOT!” and when I WAS taking pictures, I felt wetness in my lap because I CAME IN MY PANTS and they scrambled out of VIP to get away.

    2) I had a guy offer me shots While I was LOOKIN AT “ESCAPE FROM Kade Corner” (I declined because I TOOK SHOTS FROM THIS GUY BEFORE AND ENDED UP BEHIND RECESS WITH MY LOWER INTESTINE HANGING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE LIKE AN AFTERBIRTH.

    3) COKING out with Ryan Howard and a few people OUTSIDE The VIP Area at Recess at closing time,A.K.A. “ESCAPE FROM Kade Corner-After Hours”, he started telling me that he just got HERPES FROM KANG, and I told him, “Dude, I FEEL YOUR PAIN”. By the way, Ryan, your hat was sick!!! Sooo “Kade Style”. (HENCE WHY RYAN WAS SEEN BURNING SAID FED ON THE LAWN.)

    4) Another girl who I TRIED TO SNEAK into the VIP Area WITH at Recess on Friday asked, “You’re THAT PHILLY DOUCHEBAG guy with the blog??”, and I nodded and said, “That’s Me, but I also have a TV Show and Book coming out, A PURPLE UNICORN, A FERRARI, A BRAND NEW APARTMENT, A FLAT SCREEN TV, A PHOTO SHOP, I MEAN SHOOT WITH LANI LEE, A STARRING ROLE AS A GAY DOCTOR FOR A NEW JERSEY TIMES BEST SELLING DEV DEAL… I MEAN, ER UH… (SSSSNNNNNNNNNORRRT!) YA, THEY HATE ME.”, and she kept trying to touch me and feel me up, but she was a Philly DRAG QUEEN, SO I CHECKED HER OIL AND SHE FARTED.

    5) While on the phone at my amazing table at BURGER KING during Brunch today, I was on the phone, and a guy came up to me at the table, and was waiting to tell me he loved me, but then just patted me on the shoulder and gave me the “HERE’S YOUR ORDER Nod”, and my friends asked, “Who was that?”, and I said “ANOTHER DRAG QUEEN I BLEW LAST NIGHT FOR THESE FREE BURGER COUPONS, EAT UP!!”

    6) While walking BY the Mogul Room at G Lounge, 3 girls screamed “Arthur Kade!!!”, AND THEY RAN ALL THE WAY BACK TO JERSEY!

    7) A GUY who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave HIM massive finger penetration WHICH HE, IN TURN, DEVELOPED ‘FINGERPES’) a couple months ago came up to me OUTSIDE the Mogul Room and said, “Someone told me you’re getting a TV show.”, and I responded, “I am also authoring an award winning book, AND I HAVE A PURPLE UNICORN, ETC…”, but I remember HE didn’t smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like HE WANTED TO KICK MY FLABBY ASS, so I turned right back around, PISSED MYSELF AND BLAMED TWO INNOCENT CHICKS FOR THROWING THEIR DRINKS ON ME. (A GUY must always be fresh downstairs, BUT IF HE’S NOT, THAT’S OK BECAUSE I’LL TAKE WHATEVER I CAN GET. IF I do an “oil check” and it’s not super fresh, I’ll ask HIM to leave IT ALONE SO I CAN DIP SOME RITZ CRACKERS UP IN THERE FOR DINNER.)

    8)My friends SAW ME LURKING BY the Mogul Room, and said their cab driver heard my name mentioned in their cab, and he said “GET Out!”. They took a vid of him proving this below. The Brand’s LOCAL image REPUGNANCE extends to Cab Drivers who ALSO have AN idea about Gen Pop “DISDAIN”, AND THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHO THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT, “Arthur Kade.”

    9) The DRUGGED-OUT, DRUNK Girl who came OUT OF VIP and TOLD ME to ‘GET THE HELL OUT OF HER WAY, CREEPY FUCKIN’ GUY!’ AND AS ALWAYS, I WAS wearing my Killa’ Fedora. I love the kiss TEEFS FORCED YOU TO PLANT on me while wearing it.. ”Kade Style” GROPING, TAKING ADVANTAGE OF INCOHERENT PEOPLE WHILE ANNOYINGLY SNAPPING PHOTOS. UHH-GAIN.

    10) Arthur Kade BEING RUN OUT OF ‘Gen Pop’ area at Recess and TRYING TO SNEAK INTO VIP when the BOOING and HISSING from EVERYONE began. THSCARRRY!

    “When Arthur Kade tells a hot girl to go home with him, (CRICKETS)”….

    THE LOO…11/09/09 :)

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  12. @Anon 12:17: and the verde chili cheese fries.

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  13. LOL at Loo

    Kwote of the Day!

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  14. kill him with fire!

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  15. Hey AKZlist:

    Great work on Twitter! Keep calling him out for all his bullshit!

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  16. ArturdTheZero formerly AKZListNovember 9, 2009 at 6:18 PM

    Not for nothing, but he claims to hang with Ryan Howard and doesn't get one picture with him? This coming from the guy who would take a picture with a potted plant and claim he's the plant's favorite actor?

    I smell bullshit...

    @anon 4:!0pm... Thanks!

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  17. We need a Boonswang blog

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  18. explanations for arthur kade:

    1. he is a robot, engineered by the government in order to create a celebrity douchebag who will endorse future controversial foreign policy.

    2. he is an alien, a la Mork from Ork, trying to fit in and learn about us mysterious earthlings. and he's a douchebag.

    3. he is a 12 year old who has been magically transported into the body of a rapidly-decaying 38 year douchebag.

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  19. So someone posted on his site about Julia Allison, who has been doing the same shit as "the journey", but for way longer. She sucks just as bad and even has her own legowig site.

    Link to her in my name, link to site mocking her in my next comment.

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  20. Link to other site in my name.

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  21. J Bone, holy shit! the similarities are eerie! this is like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

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  22. HOLY SHIT! A female Arty? OMG. Well this pretty much rules out that Arty is a social experiment in my mind. He's 100% real. EW.

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  23. Yeah but the key difference between Allison and Kadyshes is that Allison has achieved vast success--compared to Artshitz.

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  24. @anon
    No questions there, but that is kind of the point. He tries to say he is doing thing that have never been done before, but someone already has. It is the same bragging without fact checking as "The Brand".

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  25. She can't have achieved too much vast success...I've never heard of her :)

    Her writings are errily similar. Maybe Arty could "wife" her and they could "author" more books together and become the next "It" couple???

    Um. No.

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  26. According to Twitter, he's "applying 4 jobs." No headhunter for this guy.

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  27. Arthur is making a feeble attempt at calling me out on HCWDB right now

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  28. What are you talking about J Bone?

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  29. Read the Johnny Damon thread on Hcwdb

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  30. Link? I can't find it...

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  31. NM. Found it. Is he the one defending speech impediments?

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  32. I tried linking the comment section in my name.

    I am not totally sure if it is him or someone who recognized my name from his site.

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  33. @JBone

    That was definitely odd. I don't think it was artie if all three comments were written by the same person because he wouldn't have put his name like that. I think the first anon used arthur's name on the second comment so that it was clear what was being alluded to. Someone who doesn't like you at any rate. Any stalkers? Also Arthur doesn't use >'s. Start looking for that around here and hcwdb.

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  34. p.s. Plus the three comments were all caps. So caps and >'s, and, really crude. That wouldn't fit a lot of people.

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  35. It's just strange because they linked me to Artzits.

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  36. CHAD BOONSWANG LOVES COKE

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