11/7/09

Preparing For My Off Broadway Audition


Two monologues done the same way and he talks about switching in and out of different characters. He really just doesn't get it. Diabetes can't take him quick enough for my liking. More deluded fantasies from Crisco McSlobberyfuck, Arthur Kadyshes...

For most Gen Poppers, Saturday is a day of rest, relaxation, and reflection, but for The Brand, it is a day of redefining “The Biz”, and making headway in The Craft and “The Journey” as I have my first on-camera kissing scene for a movie (I will blog this very soon), and a great audition for a reputable screen writer for an “Off-Broadway” Play that may give me some consideration for a lead in a future Broadway play. I met with Sharon to prepare my monologue for the audition, and I selected the monologue that my man, Anthony Hopkins delivers during Meet Joe Black, but she felt it might be good to also work in some Jeremy Grey from Wedding Crashers if they want some liveliness, comedic timing, and more attitude.
What makes me such a tremendous actor as you will see by the videos below, is that I can switch in and out of different characters and genres, and “Get In the Moment” and invest myself. “Kade Style”. I am on the run today like crazy, but last night had some very interesting and hilarious things happen that I will be talking about in a soon to come blog. Ta-Ta!!
“When your dignity is bleeding, make sure your ass crack isn’t sticking out”…Arthur Kade…11/07/09
Here is an acting vid with Sharon where I float “Kade Style” between 2 masterful monologues, and a great Email of a “Kater” who I think wil be a Kade Nation convert soon enough..
“Yo man, just gonna try to help you out. I would say that over half the people that write in to you are either a) Making fun of you, and they cant believe that you actually think they are serious or b) so bad at life they they find your lies as an escape. I was shown your website a few days ago, and I must say it it the most dousche bag website I have ever seen. You talk about how poular you are, yet you are always by yourself in your videos filming the videos yourself. I have yet to see any hot girls in any of your videos and for that matter any one at all. You claim to be taking hot girls or Philly 8’s but you said even yourself that they last girl you brought home wasnt that hot all and was “sloppy”. Im willing to bet you arent pulling Philly 8’s and 9’s but you are probably bottom feeding on the women the girls that are desperate for attention. So way to go. And as far as your hotel suite that was comped? It was a normal room you moron, you didnt fool anyone. If you re so big, why are you doing off broadway stuff? Newsflash, you’ll never be in any movies unless the character has to have a lisp and have an ego the size of America and a penis the size of a golf tee, as you refrenced by the woman having a “grand canyon”…maybe it was you? Secondly, you should really learn how to treat women. How you talk about them makes you look like a bigger dousche bag than you already are, and believe me when I speak for “kade nation” when I say making yourself a bigger dousche bag than you already are, is a hard thing to do. You literally are the Kanye West of no bodies. And yes I did just compare you to Kanye West, except that everyone thinks Kanye is a huge dousche who likes fish sticks. I bet you like Fish Sticks? Please do everyone a favor and stop with all your non sense hype. When you accomplish something in the “biz” besides having a speech coach who looks like she also doubles in giving piano lessons to 5 year olds, by the looks of her house. Please take the advice I gave you and run with it. Very far, as far as you can away from your video camers, the internet, or anyone that is actually contributing something to our great country and not polluting it by being a waste of space.
“Arthur Kade is not a man. He is a little boy lost in a fantasy world, somewhere between Park Avenue and Rodeo”
I pray to God the next time I hear “kade out” from one of your home movies, it is the last time.
Good Luck.”

25 comments:

  1. FIRST!

    I'm definitely convinced that if we all stop posting on Arthur Kaids' blog, he'll stop being such a waste of life and disappear into a life of mediocrity and depression like he was meant to.

    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ok, serious question. Can anyone name a film or television star with a lisp? Really, I can't think of any that can't annunciate their words properly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I mean besides Cindy Brady...

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's a fair answer however, it could easily be argued that since she acheived her fame as a child that the Cindy Brady exception could exempt her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Television star with a lisp? Heavens to Murgatroyd! Snagglepuss the Lion, of course!

    Come to think of it, Anal could totally be the Snagglepuss the Lion of his generation... Or, the Coked-Up Snagglepuss The Lion for his generation. Or, the Coked-Up, Pock-Marked, Greasy Green Haired, Rapey-Eyed, Talentless Snagglepuss the Lion of his generation.

    I definitely can not think of one other actor who could lay claim to the title of the Coked-Up, Pock-Marked, Greasy Green Haired, Rapey-Eyed, Talentless Snagglepuss the Lion of his generation.

    Credit where credit is due, people!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ArturdTheZero formerly AKZListNovember 7, 2009 at 8:13 PM

    This is fucking RICH... so, Crisco McLispy came all the way to NYC for an audition and to shoot a movie tonight where he'd get his first on camera kiss. About 8pm or so he said via his Twitter that he was on set to "shoot all night." Well, he's back in Philly or at least on his way there. Seems he didn't get to film. I truly can't wait to hear the spin he puts on this one. I imagine that he'll be spinning so much that those people who spin plates on sticks will say about him, "Damn, that's impressive!"

    This really made my night.

    hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. ArturdTheZero formerly AKZListNovember 7, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    Read from the bottom up to get his BIG GIANT FAIL!!!



    ArthurKade
    Let the drinking commence. Been good all wk
    26 minutes ago from UberTwitter
    Reply

    ArthurKade
    Phl domination again
    41 minutes ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    Dissapointed. Can't control fate
    about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    Back 2 the 215. Weird story
    about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    I wonder which 2 they will pick. Would love 2 have my first camera kissing scene
    about 2 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    In holding. The guys are all cool.
    about 2 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    There are 6 of us and their choosing 2 dudes 2 kiss the same girl. I hope they pick the brand
    about 2 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArturdTheZero
    @ArthurKade please, please, please be the set of a snuff film with you as the star.
    about 2 hours ago from web in reply to ArthurKade

    ArturdTheZero
    @ArthurKade Get the fucking hell out of my borough.
    about 2 hours ago from web in reply to ArthurKade

    ArthurKade
    Welcome 2 the set mr. Kade
    about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    Kade-z
    about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    Brooklyn!!!!!!!
    about 3 hours ago from UberTwitter

    ArthurKade
    Great audition. They said great job. Even gave me sides as well. Off 2 crooklyn 2 film all night

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know there are people here with "real" acting training. That lady can't be serious with letting him keep the Wedding Crashers mon. Not only is it a shitty mon, and obviously he sucks balls at reciting it, but it also just cuts off so abruptly. "Ow ow you're on my hair" is not the conclusion of anything.

    I hate this guy so much.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The krisco kid never fails to disappoint. Here’s some reality kadimoto; even in porn the ‘actress’ gets the final say about the ‘actor’ she has to perform with…otherwise it would be called rape. Even if (and that’s a huge if) the casting director (or whomever) chose you, they can’t force her to do anything. And I imagine it would take medieval level torture to get any girl to kiss you. That would lower the production value of what had to be a pretty low budget affair in the first place. Congrats on making yourself unmarketable. Don’t take it to hard though, you didn’t have a rats ass chance of making it in the ‘biz’ anyway. You’re greasy, acne ridden, wrinkled and you’ve fiddle fucked your hair into a sham-wow rag. Good job douchefag. Now, go drinking all night, you crippled bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wallace Shawn is a great actor with a lisp. You may remember him from "My Dinner with Andre", "The Princess Bride" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" (even actors need to pay bills). He looks like a gnome. But almost anything he is in is good because he is such a good actor and clearly an intellegent wit. (he co-wrote "My Dinner") This in no way gives hope to Kade who is a crap actor and as dumb as a pile of bricks.

    He is auditioning for a play by a screenwriter?? Isn't that like a screenplay writen by a novelist, or a novel written by a blobber? Pretty much guaranteed to suck balls ass. Off-broadway, I bet! (Newark Dinner Theater more like)

    ReplyDelete
  11. God, those monologues were awful.
    He is the same lisping douche in every piece of ''acting'' he's ever done.
    Sometimes I feel kinda bad for him because he wants to be famous (to be accepted by someone) so badly, but it's never gonna happen cause a donut can put up a better performance than him...

    ReplyDelete
  12. @The Entity...

    Fuck you man! I've trained for years and years and YEARS! Now you go and disparage what I've accomplished by mentioning me in the same sentence as Arthur Kade?

    ReplyDelete
  13. @radda x 2
    Excellent!! I had not thought of him but he would certainly qualify. Increasingly I'm seeing similarities between him and the fucktarded one who must not be named. They both suffered down falls as a result of caine type powders. In the case of fucktard cocaine and in the case of Wallace... Iocaine. Haha. (hey I know it was a stupid joke, no need to point it out.)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mmmmmmmmmm Donutsss...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Too funny, I thought he was booked for the part all ready?

    ReplyDelete
  16. From Twitter:


    Just told girl "I had a great audition and almost filmed featured scene on movie and now get 2 party. Who else does this??about 9 hours ago from UberTwitter

    Who brags about almost doing things? I almost won a million dollars yesterday, but I forgot to play the lottery.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Major Actor With a Lisp::::

    The one and only.........SYLVESTER

    Major Star with Looney Tunes for 30 years.

    Sufferin......sucotash..........

    Now Tweety did not lisp, but he tought he taw a putty tat!

    Arthur isn't even talented enough for Looney Tunes.

    Loser!

    ReplyDelete
  18. @anon 8:43
    And much like fucktards acting career not real. Imagine I am a casting director and your answer is fucktard, "thankyouno". Haha Good try but this contest is for real actors only, no imaginary characters are in the running.

    ReplyDelete
  19. the scene was 2 guys kissing 1 girl.

    6 potential guys were at the shoot.

    the girl to be kissed got to choose the 2 guys.

    ARTIE WAS TARDY TO THE PARTY.

    the 2 guys were chosen before ak got there.

    TA-DA !

    ReplyDelete
  20. Kissing Mr. Numb Tongue on the mouth would have to be like kissing the crotch of a recently used love doll. I bet he caused someone to start rethinking his or her carrier choice just by looking at him.

    ReplyDelete
  21. He sounds the SAME in every video! There's no inflexion in his voice. I used to do theater, so I do know a bit about this stuff!

    The kind of work that goes into it, the expressions, the balance between words and actions etc, is part talent part hard work. I doubt AK has either invested?

    Terrible terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Zombie kade here- exactly right, Ladida.

    Say, cock mitten has a new post up, ostensibly to mealy mouth why he didn't get any work on Saturday night. As usual, it's a pathetic display of neurotic delusion and outright creepy fantasy land shit.

    Anal, even a brickheaded assmunching dope like yourself has to realize that the game is up. NOBODY believes your shit anymore, we're just watching the slow motion train wreck unfold. You're a fucking joke, and it's the crying on the inside kind of joke at that.

    Face facts, dipshit- you will never, EVER, get a paying job as an actor that requires you to recite lines. You have no idea what you're doing as an actor, you look like a complete moron, and your slobbery misadventures with the English language are legion.

    What casting director in their right mind would want a vomit inducing nightmare like you fucking up their production? That's right- none of them would, and none of them do.

    As for your made up nonsense about a book deal- you can't write. You have the writing ability of a poorly educated 8th grader at best. So this horseshit about a book ain't happening either, you fucking crayon wielding dunce.

    Say goodnight, Rapie.

    ReplyDelete
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