HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION:

1. You start an "advice column" ("Ask Arthur", May 19th, 2010) that deals with mentoring and advice on dating, sex, relationships, career, and just basically living a “Sinatra-esque” life that you claim you will do on a weekly basis (you also refer to yourself as the White Oprah With Balls and think that this column is a serious step towards media domination of “The Biz”),

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Arthur Kade recognized as a ridiculous famewhore and selected to be a dancing monkey for Internet Week 2010 in NYC.

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Kennerley vs. Kade 2: the video.

http://www.kerri-anne.com.au/index.php

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Kennerley vs. Kade

Recently I cut & pasted a comment from Kade’s site asking if there was a Kade drinking game. Well, after looking in “the archives”, I found it…

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Weekly catch-up

I’m going to start with a few items that I should have included in the last post I did (which was “Showtime, Kadester!”):

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Showtime, Kadester!

To help spread Arthur's popularity, I've created the following video for the Gen pop in order that they may understand the greatness that now befalls them...

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Celebrating A Year In Obscurity - The Bland's Journey Turns One

Well folks, Arthur Kade's quest to become the most famous and talented actor in the world has just turned a year old, and what a year it's been. Arthur has put up a new post reflecting on his year, and it's honestly sad to see what he considers to be his high points, because most of them are lies, or are just plain stupid. 


Even more hilarious, though, is that the fact that after a year of attempting to become an actor, he has still not spoken a single word in any production. He spends his days trolling Actor's Access, by himself like thousands of other "actors," many of which I imagine are much more successful than he is. The most he has to his name are a few extra spots on some movies and tv shows - things that his often-despised "Gen Pop" doesn't even pay attention to. It's so funny to think that Arthur really believes that, as an extra, possibly in a scene that he may be visible for a nanosecond, he is adding something huge to the project. Witness this item from his "best of year one" list on the new post:


In working with some of the top acting teachers and talent judges in Philly, NYC, and KA, it is widely regarded that Arthur Kade has raised his abilities in Film/TV Acting and The Craft to award winning levels already, and this has led to him working on hit projects in Film and TV WITH fellow Crafters like Angie Jolie, Jen Aniston, Gerry Butler, Alec Baldwin, and Dev Patel, and has become one of “The Fastest rising actors in Young Hollywood”. This has taken hundreds of hours of pain staking preparation and behind the scenes practice as well as a drive for excellence to become the greatest and most decorated actor in American History. Despite all the fame, future eight figure paychecks, and celebrity benefits that I already get, the end goal of “The Journey is to touch Lil’ Oscar and bring him home to enjoy for years to come.


Notice the word "WITH" bolded above. He was an extra on movies or shows involving these actual actors. He has the nerve to lie and suggest he worked with them individually, when all he did was stand somewhere like dozens or hundreds of extras on the same production. And about those top acting teachers and talent judges? Arthur, if you were so good then why aren't you an actor? Why have you not had a speaking role in a single scene in a single production yet? Finally, doesn't one have to have acted in a Hollywood production to call oneself a member of "young hollywood?" Even better - doesn't one have to ACTUALLY BE YOUNG to be a part of "young hollywood?" Being 32  years old, and looking like a 40 year old doesn't get you into this category.


There's one thing we do give Arthur credit for: he sure is dedicated to getting attention. The entire last year of his life has been so completely about his need for attention, and so much less about his dream of becoming an actor. He is so wrapped up in gaining any semblance of attention that he's willing to make a fool out of himself constantly even to receive negative attention. He fails to see that radio shows interview him because he's a once-in-a-lifetime absurdity (and even that's a stretch - a new idiot is born every day!) and he's stupid enough to think that Philadelphia Magazine is an "internationally read magazine," and not simply a local publication in the 5th largest market in the United States.


We completely expect more of the same for the next year. What else is there to expect? An actual TV show? A book that will never get published? Some casting director clueless enough to give an ugly, lisping, hyperactive and unprofessional asshole a single word in a movie? Face it Kade, when this time rolls around next year  - that is, if you're not committed to an insane asylum before then - we can guarantee ourselves that it will be much like this past year: the posts about parties and girls you didn't have sex with will outnumber posts about acting 12 to 1. 


It's just so sad that a person goes to bed each night dreaming about winning acting awards, and "practicing it [Oscar acceptance speech] everyday while I’m walking or driving," yet has absolutely no self awareness to realize how totally unreachable that goal really is.
Finally, Arthur, this list is for you. We feel like you need to be reminded of some of the actual truths about why you will not be an Oscar winning actor, or, even an actual actor at all.

1. You still have a lisp.
2. You still have acne.
3. In person, people say you look like you're in your early 40s.
4. Your hygiene is the only "third world" aspect of your existence. 
5. You're just not dedicated to acting; you're dedicated to attention and partying.
6. You have very few friends left. Your "entourage" usually just consists of you, all alone.
7. You don't realize that people read your blog because they hate you, your YouTube videos rarely receive more than one star, and the comments say it all: PEOPLE HATE YOU!
8. You don't have millions of fans; at best you have a few thousand people who read your site, again, BECAUSE THEY HATE YOU, and your stupidity and idiocy helps many people feel really good about their successful lives.
9. You live alone, with barely any furniture, and you live like a pig.
10. You hate everyone but yourself.
11. Your therapy is obviously not working.
12. You lie about every aspect of  your life, because you know your life is worthless, and lying is the only way you can be somebody.
13. You're not a good Jew; you only use your religion for for attention.
14. You really, really freaked the fuck out when the legowigkade blog started up - we still laugh at that: a supposed A List movie star reduced to moderating his own blog, and copying comments from legowigkade because people were leaving you in droves. You were so afraid, and so immature! We still laugh at that often.
15. You accost total strangers for photos, many of whom are never high enough in the Kade scale, this contradicting your bullshit claims that you only associate with attractive people.
16. Pay attention here: YOU HAVE NO ACTING TALENT WHATSOEVER. THE END.

read more “Celebrating A Year In Obscurity - The Bland's Journey Turns One”

Katchin-guh up with Kade.

With the exception of 3 videos, all of the “Kade Nation Obsession Videos” are simply videos that have been uploaded to or are favorited by the LegoWigKade Youtube channel. It doesn’t upset me that he has done this. Why? Because he WANTS to upset me.

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The Bland and his FAIL Nation...

From the “30 rock” blob…

“As A rising celeb, and future Oscar/Emmy Winner…” – Bullshit.

“…you get the ability to choose which amazing projects you get to work on…” – Horseshit.

“…and which ones don’t make that much sense for your resume or image…” – Goatshit.

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LWK, the REAL Kade News Network (just like FOX news: biased as hell).

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The most honest video Kadyshes has ever filmed

I can't even explain this. It's amazing. Their brutal honesty about how much Kade sucks and what an annoying gnat he is can't be expressed in words. In an entire waiting area full of extras, not one person wants anything to do with Fin Face. Moreover, if you read Kade's poorly written blog (I read 2 paragraphs but then gave up) he mentions that he tried to wait in the SAG waiting area but they asked him to leave and kicked him out. So then he got sent to this waiting area with all the extras. Most of these people (if not all) have day jobs and do extra work like this whenever they have time or get a chance. Arthur has no life and no job, so this is the most amazing thing he's done and he acts like a total amateur. When you think about it, Kade's normal day is talking to retarded girls (the Nontourage), working out and taking supplements, and sleeping on a floor of a gen pop apartment in a blue collar city. So yes, I guess being an extra in NYC is pretty awesome by contrast.

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Dances with Mediocrity: The Kadedance Dominiation

So I know we haven't been reblogging lately because it's been the same boring crap, but this post has to be reblogged for the shear number of well known people he insults. This will be Arthur's legacy; lies, lies and dickish behavior. Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors, I am sick and not in the mood.    JBone

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The Beast Is Back - Arthur's Body Continues To Look Like Garbage

What in the hell does any of this mean?? "Transforms from a Category 2 Tropical Depression?" Also Kade, we're all for you taking up Matt Beauchamp on his offer to prove that you can bench 255. We all know you are lying, so put up or shut up. Beauchamp asked for a video of you lifting 255 lbs once, but we want a video of you doing a 10 reps at 255 lbs. Not one rep, but a full set of 10. Let's see it. Lifting weight once doesn't mean shit if you can't rep it. You're an ugly, untalented, unemployed liar. We won't pay you anything for doing either, we just want to offer you an opportunity to prove something for once.

As Arthur Kade transforms from a Category 2 Tropical Depression Over The Atlantic to the Category 6 Hurricane Kade that will be invading, dominating, captivating, and embracing the Sundance Film Festival, “The Journey” is living in the gym (When I saw what my face and neck looked like on NYE, and how FAT I looked, it was a wake up call that a future TV/Movie/Literary star as Arthur Kade can not mail it in like Gerry Butler who has put on 50Lbs. since 300), boxing, playing basketball and soccer, and doing what needs to be done to get back in the shape I can be in these pics below (I also have a contest going with a girlfriend of mine around this, so there is ZERO chance I lose to a girl!!). One of The Entourage who saw me benching 255 Lbs. last night at the gym said, “Holy Shit, The Old AK is back”, and I have been doing 2 a days since NYE and am like an absolute beast right now. It’s on like Kade Kong because when The Brand is in shape, he has one of the best bodies in the world!!!!! I will be detailing The Brand’s workout shortly and Arthur Kade will be the talk of Hollywood at Sundance, plus there is a chance my Cali BFF and Kade Nation Super Fan, Kent Osborne will also be there so we can have a “Kade Style” reunion, so I want to look like he remembers me from my KA domination in June.
“I wonder if Jerry Rice would want to work out with a celeb like Arthur Kade for some publicity?”…Arthur Kade…01/06/09


Before you watch the new videos, let's refresh your memory on this very honest critique of Kade's body from an actual trainer, from back on August 6, 2009. If anything, Kade's body has gotten worse, and, knowing the complete lack of dedication he has to anything, it should be expected that he will not improve much about his body. He looked terrible back then, he looks worse now, and he just doesn't have the ability to change in the time that he thinks he can change.

New Videos:









These next two photos are so completely hideous, there are just no words for it.

Look people! Kade finally realizes that he smells like shit and sweats like a pig, that his breath smells like an old cum rag, and he's trying to do something about it!

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Arthur Kade Dresses Like an Idiot for New Years Eve and Calls It Couture

We all knew Arthur would usher in the New Year in Philly and that he would do so wearing some form of unattractive, inappropriate attire. Well, the jacket, shirt and pants weren't so bad. What we don't get is why in the holy hell he was wearing 3D glasses from Avatar (stolen, obviously) with the lenses popped out. He looked like some kind of deranged 1930's gangster merged with a Groucho Marx doll with that cheap wool fedora and those glasses. Even more astonishing is that he calls this "couture." For those of you that don't know, couture is defined as the following: "...the creation of exclusive custom-fitted clothing. Haute couture is made to order for a specific customer, and it is usually made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finish, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques." As a commenter on his site pointed out, a Calvin Klein off-the-rack jacket, off-the-rack pants, a tuxedo shirt, and a costume shop fedora do not equal couture. 
It's still amazing to us that Kade doesn't even try to appear intelligent. He really thinks that outfit is couture because he doesn't even know what the word means. He just likes to throw terms out there and see what sticks. 
So it's 2010 and Kade promises this will be "the year of the brand." We at LegoWig fully expect this year to be nothing but more of the same: more failed auditions, no speaking lines, very little press, more drugs, more nights out at clubs, more calling himself an international celebrity without ever leaving the country, more lies that he has millions of fans, more alienation from his friends, and in general just more and more bullshit, because that's all Arthur Kadyshes can offer the world - BULLSHIT.
After an amazing New Years Eve in Philly (I decided to stay at home because a) it was probably Arthur Kade’s last New Years in Philly, and b) I am working on something right now that will be much more advantageous for “The Journey” that I will hopefully be announcing shortly) at a private party at the newest Not Yet Opened restaurant on the 37th floor of 2 Liberty called R2L, and then Recess, it is time to go back to work “Kade Style” and make this the year where The Brand becomes a Global Icon, and takes his next step to Lil’ Oscar. My computer has been malfunctioning since New Year’s so I am fully operational, and will resume regularly scheduled blogging tomorrow.

A note about these photos - Arthur's stupidity shines like a star considering he uploaded and posted several completely blurry photos. But then we realized, what a great thing he did for us! It's actually so much easier to look at these pictures when his hideous nose, rapey eyes, chapped lips, and neck acne are not plainly visible. So we ask this of you Arthur: please post all blurry photos from now on, OK?

Look folks! Arthur took this home and had sex with it!

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Arrival in Miami Not Kadeami

So Arthur arrive in Miami yesterday... he can't believe the pilot didn't recognize him... he thought the pilot said "have a nice day" because it was him, not because pilots say that to everyone as they leave the plane... he took a video at baggage claim, wearing a self-painted t-shirt that says "Kade Style" on the front and "Kade Out" on the back... he checked into the W hotel as if he were checking into a million dollar a night palace, as if what he's doing is inaccessible to the "gen pop" he so despises... he posted an absurd amount of childish and immature twitter posts about where he was... he thinks he's a "jet setter" when he's only flying for the second time all year... and he thinks he's an international jet setter when he has not even been out of the country this year at all... he thinks he thinks that flying and checking into a hotel and having lunch is "more than most gen-poppers do in a week."

Miami, we feel so sorry for you. We're sorry that this talentless creep from Philadelphia is visiting your town and thinks he owns the place. We're sorry you have to be infected with the disgusting head-to-toe nightmare that is Arthur Kade. We're sorry that this guy is walking about taking photos and videos constantly, and posting to Twitter from his phone. We're sorry that a person who has accomplished nothing thinks he is going to "dominate" your city as if he is a multi-million dollar earning celebrity. We sympathize with you, truly.

All lies and unprovable nonsense are highlighted below:

It’s official that The Brand has arrived in Kadeami, and the amazing Gen Pop domination that Arthur Kade is famous for is about to begin at levels this city hasn’t seen in years. I have gotten emails from Kade Nation Fnas from around the globe begging me to update as much as possible to see if I meet a “Drought” Breaker, How the audition and Potential Gig go on Saturday and Sunday, and most importantly to view how a celebrity and International “Jet Setter” in his prime, parties in one of the hottest cities in the world. There are many private parties that we have already been invited to, and plenty of vagina to spread around, and knowing that I have a killer audition for “The Journey” this weekend is just a cherry on top because all I have been hearing about is how December is a “Dead Month” for auditions and work, and how every casting director and “Bizzer” is checked out until January, but the fact that I have booked multiple auditions and a potential “Warrior Role” on a film are a testament to my fortitude to The Craft, especially while authoring a hit book and developing a hit TV Show. I have already met some fellow models that will potentially be joining Philadelphia’s favorite son tonight (The best moment of the day so far was a random Kade Nation Fan stopping me outside the W on Collins, and saying, “You’re that Guy from Philadelphia!!”, and I smiled and said “I’ll write about you on ArthurKade.com tonight, what’s your name or let’s do a video?”, and he replied, “I can’t do a video, but thanks man”, and rolled off into the street).

Here are the details from my arrival so far, Pictures and vids from the hottest hotel in Miami, The Newly Opened W Hotel (This place is so “Kade Style”), and the 5 star Setai Hotel where we just grabbed a quick dinner before hitting the invitation only parties that only Arthur Kade gains access to (The crazy thing is I have only been here 3 hours and The Brand already has done more than most Gen Poppers do here in a week) and I’m interested to see what celeb friends I run into and exchange “Biz” talk with about my progress and updates on “The Journey”. I may take it a bit easier tonight just because Friday and Saturday are going to be insane with dinners, events, and clubs, but anytime I say that, I wake up with an NYC 9 or 10 next to me, wondering how she got there and how I will get her to leave.

“”Jet Setting” isn’t about where you travel, but what stewardesses you get to play with in your personal private Jet”…Arthur Kade…12/03/09

Finally, we grabbed this image from the YouTube video above. Yes folks, it appears that he used stencils and spray paint to make a shirt that says "Kade Style." There really are no words that define how totally stupid this is.

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A Night Of Giving Thanks To The Brand

Thanksgiving to me means just putting this up without reading it. I don't want to vomit up my turkey dinner. Too many pictures on his site for me to start pulling them off and putting them here also. I'll get around to this at some point later on Friday. I'm just guessing now, but I gotta imagine that this is more stupidity, lies and delusion from Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with radishes)...

If I could unzip my “Kade-Suit”, step out of my amazing body, and just observe what hanging out with Arthur Kade is like, I think I would be amazed at what one friend last night called “The Kade Experience”, because everyone in The Entourage has become so accustomed to my “Kade Style” VIP domination when I go out that I have become jaded as to the affect that I have on people when they see the “One of the Premiere Socialites” of Philadelphia, NYC, and KA in action. Hanging out with Arthur Kade when he is killing it is like a roller coaster of amazingness, and last night, one lucky fan/Kade Nation Member, and new “Girl Cali BFF”, Molly Weiner (Sister of Jennifer Weiner, the author of “In Her Shoes” and “Good In Bed” who she told me was a fan of “The Journey” and I think it’s important for NY Times bestselling authors to stick together like us and critique eachother’s works to become better writers) got to see The Brand dominate the night, and her response at Del Frisco’s was “I have never seen anything like it (I wonder what it’s actually like to hook up with me and know that the penis of a celeb is inside of you and wonder if it intensifies the orgasm the girl gets). All the girls coming up and all the attention you get is crazy. You are a reality show in real life”. She got to see what some girls have nicknamed “Mr. Philadelphia” be the most famous person in the places, bypass lines, get free drinks, and get access to any parts of the club I want, and why people can see I am “The Biz’s newest Bad Boy and it’s next big thing”. I love when people experience the social part of “The Journey” first hand because there is nothing like it, and I always say, “If you want great sex, then call a porn star”.

Top 10 Moments of the night:

1) The random girl that I eyed up while walking by me and she literally stopped in her tracks at Del Frisco’s, started talking to me, and would have probably had sex with me in the bathroom had I desired, but she was a Philly 7.85 that I could tell was all about the fame and aura of The Brand, so after I saw that she had no ass and small tits, I told her I would meet her downstairs and never did. The Brand Doesn’t settle but I didn’t feel like telling her she wasn’t worthy of Arthur Kade.

2) Arthur Kade getting on my knees as a friend poured a shot of Patron in my mouth, and it pretty much spilled all over my hot TITS shirt (Which like 10 Gen Poppers came up to me to say something about), and everyone around me wondering, ‘How does Arthur Kade just always kill it?”.

3) While talking to a girl, I was trying to maneuver her into a threesome with another friend, but for some reason girls do not want to share me which is funny because for years I had no problem closing 2 girls in one night, although threesomes can be tricky because some girls get jealous at the attention you might show the other if she’s better in bed, and I had a situation years ago in Miami where a girl literally stopped in the middle of one and said, “I don’t think you guys need me here”, and got dressed and left the hotel room.

4) The Brand showing off his dance moves at Recess to one of the dancers, and my friend said, “You looked like you were having an epileptic seizure”, but I disagreed because I am good dancer, and said, “My moves are just ahead of their time”.

5) Arthur Kade never vomits from drinking too much, but in the cab on the way home, somehow as I was paying the cab driver, I threw up in the back and when I said ‘I’m sorry” he laughed and I gave him an extra $20 bill. The cab already smelled so bad so I didn’t feel that bad, but wanted to make sure that he knew he was escorting home a celebrity and brag about how much I tipped him

6) Me being walked in through the middle of the MASSIVE line at Del Frisco’s with The Entourage, while a fan kept yelling “Nation!!” (Short for I’m a member of Kade Nation). It’s funny because I knew and didn’t recognize him, but he told me he reads everyday and asked me “Did you get furniture?”, and I laughed and said “Not Yet. You really do read everyday.” Sometimes I forget that without Arthur Kade, The Gen Pop would not have a lot of inspiration and motivation during their lives and I can only imagine how miserable people were before “The Journey”.

7) At the bathroom at Recess, a Philly 8.88 with a great body, cute face, but busted nose (I was thinking about referring her to my old nose surgeon who removed the bump I had from the fifth break I had and made me look like an Italian/Roman statue, but she didn’t look like she could afford the surgery) said, “You’re a lot skinnier than I thought you would be”, and then I flexed my are and told her “Feel This”, and after she felt my bicep I told her “Feel This” and jokingly moved her hand over my pants and she said, ‘You’re hilarious”. It wasn’t meant to be “hilarious”.

8 ) One of The Entourage brought a girl over who I had offended one time at Smiths and told me to say sorry, and since I was already bombed and don’t remember the exact exchange, he said Arthur Kade said, “I apologize but I have no idea why I am apologizing, but I apologize anyway”. Classic Kade Interaction while trying to get my friends laid because I am a team player and sometimes I have to bunt so that others can score. There was also a girl who walked by The Brand at DelFriscos who said “You’re not cool”, and I responded, “Yes I am”. I thought I was going to get Gen Popped.

9) After getting home, I am babysitting 2 dogs, and they kept barking so I just started throwing the toy with them, and fell down my three steps to the living room and bruised my arm and back. I have been having a shooting pain going through my left arm for days now which I should get checked out, but I am scared that I may be having mini strokes and would rather not know

10) “Can I fuck Her?”. Best. Line. Ever

“If Fame and Success are like sex, than The Brand is a nymphomaniac…Arthur Kade…11/26/09

If only that was OJ's hand holding that knife...

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Trendsetting

Why oh why does Arthur say he was "featured" on the almost instantly cancelled "The Beautiful Life?" He was wallpaper, an extra, with no lines, and appeared on screen for a splt second if at all. How in the hell does this show he was "featured?" Lies and bullshit highlighted below.

I have been spending so much time recently building my amazing acting/TV and writing career for “The Journey” and Socialiting it “Kade Style” with Playboy Playmates (Jayde Nicole and Shannon James) and “A List” stars like Audrina Patridge, that I feel like Arthur Kade hasn’t spent enough time being a fashion icon and dictating new fashion trends for the upcoming 2010 season for men and women. In the summer, I made popular again the “Slogan T-Shirt” Look with tight jeans, and when I looked around this Fall, everyone in Philly was rocking Slogan T-shirts. Then I started rocking “The Fedora Look”, and now when you look around in a club, everyone is wearing a fedora, and I even showed a pic of Dane Cook and Jeremy Piven rocking it out “Kade Style” on the site, and people were like, “Kade is Hot Right Now”. Well this Saturday, the up and coming PR/Marketing firm, The Nouveau Image, is hosting a private fashion show at my fave club, Recess, and I think it’s going to be the fashion center of The NorthEast that night, because there will be many celebs in attendance, both local and national, high level fashion from Paris, and some gorgeous models from both NYC and Philly, and I thinks it’s time that Arthur Kade ushers in a new trend. It’s hard being a fashion trendsetter, and soon to be Fashion icon, because you have to create something that is either Retro with a new feel, or something new all together, but being a celeb, that’s part of the job so get ready to see Arthur Kade do his thing.

I have a new look in mind that I think will be super HOT for the next couple months, and I am even hoping that when media outlets release some of the pics of the new “Kade Look”, that high level designers like Georgio, Dolce, and even my man, Valentino (You haven’t made it until you’re partying on his yacht in St. Tropez, and I can’t wait till Gwyneth and I are drinking some Spades overlooking the Mediterranean) may see, and potentially help spur some of their own creativity for their upcoming lines. I will also be doing something super fabulous with my hair (I had a girl at Cosi stop me and tell me, “You have the most beautiful head of hair”) that will be quite different and KA’ish. I am even considering shaving my head completely to really make a statement to “The Biz” that I will do whatever it takes, because while working out with my trainer who is black with a beautifully shaved dome (Has anyone ever noticed that Black Men all look great bald because there heads are perfectly shaped, and I told him, “I think you guys have some kind of genetic predisposition to good head shape”), I was pondering whether I have a good shaped head, or a bumpy, scarred (From all my basketball hits), weird shaped head, that may make my nose look much larger, and will hot girls miss touching and stroking my hair during sex or may I even come off sexier to the Gen Pop? I should have one of my fans Photoshop a picture of me with a shaved head so I can see.

I wish I could grow great facial hair like Brad Pitt, so I could rock the “Jeremiah Johnson” look with the new hair and outfit, and maybe when I am making millions for my TV Show (IMG Media), NY Times Bestselling Book (Trident Media Group), and movies I star in, maybe I will get facial hair implants to allow me to do that if the science is there. I also believe that my facial hair limits my ability to get alternate and more mature roles because I may be type-cast in the 24-28 age range, Italian/Greek appearance, and Model Features, as an actor I need to be able to sometimes look like an ordinary Gen Popper.

In the meantime, I am disappointed that Johnny Depp won the People’s Sexiest Man Alive award, because even though I respect him as an actor and an artist, he is a bit on the short side and looks a little like an alien where when he was younger he had a very sexy “Pretty Boy” Look that reminded many people of mine growing up. The award should be given to someone who looks like The Brand, who is Tall, Handsome, Charming, and classically “Model Looking” and I feel like I can also look at his distinction has huge opportunity for me because when I am at the top of the acting ladder holding Lil’ Oscar, Pulitzer, and Emmy, then it will be a no-brainer to put me on the cover.

Here are some pictures I just found in my phone from the set of the cancelled show that I was featured on, The Beautiful Life, where you can see Elle MacPherson and her young co-stars on set with me. I also had improv class last night, and killed both of my scenes with 2 different partners (I will write about why in my next blog, plus some private coaching vids with Sharon)

“Fashion isn’t about looking the best, it’s about being the best looking”…Arthur Kade…11/19/09

Here are 3 of my favorite shaved heads:

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How To Make It In Kademerica

Where the fuck do I even begin? The first glaring lie that Crisco McLispy spews is that his parents were standing at Ellis Island checking into their new homeland... 30 years 8.2998 months ago. Only problem with that? Ellis Island stopped being used in 1954. I mean it's only 25 years difference so how could that really be a lie, right? I do love that Cock Gobbler says if his Adams Family of a family had stayed in Russia he'd have gone into the Mafia or politics because of how Italian he looks. WHAT!? How the fuck would looking Italian help you in Russia? I'd say he was as dumb as a bag of hammers, but that would be insulting to the bag of hammers. My head hurts from reading his drivel. How he thinks a book he writes will get published is beyond my comprehension. And then to think it would be a NY Times Best Seller is like a caveman talking about traveling to Pluto before he even knew what a wheel was. But the thing that was "punch me in the face outlandish" to me was this quote: "...I thought it would be fabulous to lend my acclaimed writing and reading techniques to his book." Acclaimed writing? Who the fuck is acclaiming ANYTHING this asshole has done? Sharon? Mike Lemon? The "fans" he makes up and tells us about? I'll tell you who... NOBODY. And on top of all of that what the fuck is an acclaimed READING technique? Does he face toward a mirror and read the thing backwards? WHAT THE FUCK!!? Man, my head hurts. More stupidity and lies from the deluded moron, Arthur Kadyshes (rhymes with RADISHES)...  Lies and bullshit highlighted in red.

As I was sitting at Recess last night on the “Dancer’s Box” watching the crowd watch me, I was thinking about how the next job that I had booked on Monday was so symbolic and amazingly eerily titled “How To Make It In America”, considering that Arthur Kade is the perfect example of the “American Dream” himself. It’s amazing when you look at my life story, and think, how my parents came to the US from Russia to seek a better life and flee Jewish persecution, then come here, give birth to a son who is becoming a Global marketing icon, while building great lives for themselves in the process. I wonder if while they were standing at Ellis Island checking in to their new homeland, if 30 years and 8.2998 months later, they could see being more “American” then they were Russian, and having a son who is showing the world that a good looking, and talented man can make his dream happen like out of a movie, and now I am working on a movie with Shannon Sossaman and Luis Garcia that depicts The American Dream?. That is true irony.

I can’t wait to be back on a movie set where I belong on Monday. I have felt like I was in a prison holding cell the last month or two , because all my time has been dedicated to writing “The Book” (This will be how I refer to the NY Times Bestseller that I have been writing), creating “The Show” (I’m sure my fans in Kade Nation can figure that one out as well), and writing “The Blog”, and the fact of the matter is that I am an artist and an actor, and sometimes I need a day to be on a set practicing The Craft, reminding myself what “The Journey” is all about before I take over TV and your local Barnes and Nobles with my book and am a multi millionaire celeb in NYC and KA. Can’t wait!!

Sometimes I think to myself, what if my parents would have never made the daring escape from Russia and come here? What would I have been in Russia, not given the opportunities I have now? I was telling Mama Kade this morning, “I think I would have gone into politics or the Mafia because of how I look Italian. I would have been a great leader over there because with my look and public speaking ability, I could have been HUGE in government over there”. She replied, “You can only concentrate on what god put you on Earth to do now (Which is become an award winning actor and author), and you are doing it “”Your Way”", and I am proud as your mother”. The Destiny of The Brand could have gone so many ways in the world, but alas, here I am Arthur Kade, living “The Journey”, and knowing that there is some kid crossing The Atlantic on a boat who will one day read “ArthurKade.com”, or watch The TV Show I am creating, or the book that I am authoring, and look up at his dad, and say, “Papa, I want to be like Arthur Kade”, and in the end isn’t that what it’s all about?

In the meantime, as The Arthur Kade Brand become more and more of a literary star, I am now being asked to review fellow author’s books. As you will see by the vid below, the publisher emailed me asking if I would review his client, Dewan Gibson’s Book, “The Imperfect Enjoyment”, and I thought it would be fabulous to lend my acclaimed writing and reading techniques to his book. It was such a cool feeling to get my own mailed copy in the mail (I felt like an agent at a top firm who gets and reviews writers life works, and then can tell them to “Beat It” if it sucks like they most do, or get it to a top publisher and change their lives), I will try and read it shortly and write my review on The Blog next week.

“If Marlon Brando, Paris Hilton, Kurt Vonnegut, and Ronald Reagan were combined into one person, he would be Arthur Kade”…Arthur Kade…11/13/09

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Arthur Kade Rejected For Kissing Scene Because His Breath And Saliva Will Poison Women

The latest from Arthur Kade is so chock-filled with lies and idiocy, we're not even sure how to comment on some of this. Among the gems below:

Kade thinks that a local Philly cab driver saying "Kade Out" (and we're pretty sure he was asked to do this by Kade's disgusting friends in that cab) is proof that he is a global star. WTF? 

The bit about "massive finger penetration" and doing a, ahem, "oil check" is just gross. So is screwing women in bathrooms. Teenagers talk this way. Not 32 year old adults.

Can someone also explain to us how a "featured background" role would include a kissing scene? We're taking this one as pure fantasy in the sickening world of Kade's mind.

As usual, we've highlighted all the lies, delusions, or things Arthur cannot possibly prove:

When you’re an amazing emerging TV and Literary star, it’s tough to have things not go your way, but even Arthur Kade can have a letdown once in a while, and although it’s been forever since that’s happened, I was reminded on Saturday that it’s possible. I was excited all week, because I was called in for a “Featured Background” role called “Hot Guy” on Tatum O’Neal’s new movie, “Sweet Lorraine”, and the scene that I was supposed to be filming involved a kissing scene with a girl and 2 guys, and I assumed that I was one of the two guys since they booked and confirmed me twice, so I decided to drive up Saturday night to Brooklyn for an all night shoot (If you’re not a working actor, then the Gen Pop doesn’t know this is the most grueling part of “The Biz”) and show my “Star Potential” by nailing this scene “Kade Style”. I was even more excited because I am always told by the multitudes of girls that I make out with that I am an amazing kisser (I recently had a girl who I kissed while drunk in NYC in a cab tell me, “You are the best kisser!!”, and it was funny when I tried to unzip my pants for a blow job in the cab and she said “There’s no way I’m blowing you in a cab” which really turned me off but she still blew me later at her house anyway and it was all teeth), and I figured that this would translate beautifully to film, and provide a tremendous opportunity for the Film part of “The Journey” to go to another level.

After giving a great audition for the Off Broadway theater production in NYC 9The casting director said ‘Great Job!!, and even had me read the sides for the part before I left), I got to the set in Brooklyn, which was an an old house, grabbed the most amazing ribs that they had in the kitchen (My friend joked today at Brunch at Marathon Grill, “You drove all the way to Brooklyn for some good ribs”), and was told that there were 6 guys that were there (including me), but that they were only using 2 of us, and after eating and waiting for an hour, the PA came down and announced the 2 guys, and I wasn’t one of them. One of the other guys told me that the 5 of them took the shuttle in from Manhattan to set with the girl, and she made the selection from seeing them there, and that she had probably never seen me because I self reported by car, which would make sense to me because there I have trouble imagining a girl not selecting Arthur Kade after seeing him. I am told by so many people that I am one of the best looking men in “The Biz”, so I chalked the night up to Great Effort, and drove back to Philly where I dominated Recess and G Lounge, “Kade Style”, and did what The Brand always does, “Provide a show”. On the way out of the house, the casting director thanked me for the effort, and she couldn’t have been nicer, and it’s one of those nights that you know will pay dividends later in “The Journey” because people notice the effort, but it’s a shame because I think I saw the girl I was going to kiss while heading to the Porto Potty outside, and she looked like an NYC 9.3 so it could have potentially been an Angelina Jolie/ Brad Pitt situation of sparks on set, and a possible “Young Hollywood” Power Couple.

Some TOP Moments from A Crazy Weekend:

1) The 2 girls who sneaked into my private VIP Area at Recess where I sit on the ledge overlooking the bar almost anytime I’m there (This is now being called “Kade’s Corner-After Hours”), and came up to me and said, “Arthur Kade??” and I said “The one and only” and when we were taking pictures, I felt wetness in my lap because one spilled a drink on me which we thought was accidental at first, but when I went to take the pic again the second one spilled her drink in my lap, and they scrambled out of VIP to get away. I was standing with the girlfriend of one of the owners, and we were laughing and said, “That just probably made their night. They were probably planning that the whole night and are driving home saying, “We just poured drinks on Arthur Kade. Oh my god, How cool is that?”, and I laughed and said, It must be sad to be a Philly 5.4 and 5.85, and live for that, and the truth is that if I told them I wanted them both, I could have had them in the bathroom within a few minutes”. I may need a bodyguard to protect me from these rabid fans, but I’m happy I made their night.

2) I had a guy offer me shots While I was chilling on “Kade’s Corner-After Hours” (I declined because I wasn’t drinking on Friday to prepare for my big kissing scene because I didn’t want to be dehydrated in case we had to do 20 takes), and he ran into VIP as well and asked me to take a pic, and we did, and when he walked away, my friend who was standing next to me said, “This is getting crazy”.

3) Chilling out with Ryan Howard and a few people in The VIP Area at Recess at closing time, he started telling me that he just got DJ Hero, and I told him, “Dude, your life is now over”. By the way, Ryan, your hat was sick!!! Sooo “Kade Style”.

4) Another girl who snuck into the VIP Area at Recess on Friday came up to me and asked, “You’re the famous guy with the blog??”, and I nodded and said, “That’s Me, but I also have a TV Show and Book coming out”, and she kept trying to touch me and feel me up, but she was a Philly 7.78, and she obviously didn’t realize that The Brand is way out of her league so I ignored her.

5) While on the phone at my amazing table at Rouge during Brunch today, I was on the phone, and a guy came up to me at the table, and was waiting to tell me he love me, but then just patted me on the shoulder and gave me the “I Love You Nod”, and my friends asked, “Who was that?”, and I said “No Idea. Just another crazy fan”.

6) While walking into the Mogul Room at G Lounge, 3 girls screamed “Arthur Kade!!!”, and they were later overheard saying “He’s much hotter than I thought he would be”. Thanks girls….I know.

7) A girl who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave her massive finger penetration) a couple months ago came up to me in the Mogul Room and said, “Someone told me you’re getting a TV show.”, and I responded, “I am also authoring an award winning book”, but I remember she didn’t smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like she put on a solid 15, so I turned right back around. A girl must always be fresh downstairs because that is one of my biggest pet peeves and if I do an “oil check” and it’s not super fresh, I’ll ask her to leave.

 8 )My friends came in the Mogul Room, and said their cab driver heard my name mentioned in their cab, and he said “Kade Out!”. They took a vid of him proving this below. The Brand’s global image dominance extends to Cab Drivers who probably have no idea about Gen Pop “Pop Culture”, and yet they know Arthur Kade.

9) The Girl who came into VIP and asked to take a pic with me wearing my Killa’ Fedora. I love the kiss you planted on me while wearing it..”Kade Style” Kudos.

10) Arthur Kade venturing into Gen Pop area at Recess and running right back to VIP when the staring and touching from fans began. Classic!

“When Arthur Kade tells a hot girl to go home with him, the only excuse not to is she got hit by a car”….Arthur Kade…11/08/09   

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