Kennerley vs. Kade

Recently I cut & pasted a comment from Kade’s site asking if there was a Kade drinking game. Well, after looking in “the archives”, I found it…
From the March 9th, 2009 blog post entitled "Rick Ross, Small Dogs, and The Red Ball":

Matt on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:18 pm
The Arthur Kade Drinking Game:
Every time you see the word “amazing” or “genuine” you have to do a lemon drop shot.
Every time you see the word “journey” you have to drink a Cosmo.
Every time Arthur drops a name of some “celebrity” you have to drink an Appletini and shriek like a woman.
Every time a brand new idiotic nickname is added to the lexicon, you hit yourself in the head with a mallet so you can see what it’s like to be Arthur Kade for a few moments right after the concussion.
One other thing, Dipshit - you have so many stupid categories for your posts, yet they are all the same thing. “Clubs and Lounges” is the same as “Nightlife”. Every stupid story you tell has you stopping at some club or restaurant you think is a big deal. You could save yourself some typing and lump them all under “Nightlife” you moron.
Then again, it would make you looks shallow and one dimensional. Better to have lots of categories for your blogs to give the appearance of a full life.
There is a book I think you would love….it too, is about a lisping man coming to terms with his love of cockmeat. It’s called “Me Talk Pretty One Day” and it is a well-written comedy. Unlike your blog….which is a poorly written tragicomedy.
Arthurs Thoughts should be renamed “Insecurities of a Philly Fag”

Also, did someone predict the future or what?

From the March 9th, 2009 blog post entitled "Rick Ross, Small Dogs, and The Red Ball"

Jumped the Shark already? on 09 Mar 2009 at 5:48 pm
Could your life possibly be any more dull? You spend all of your time either dick riding celebs, at brunch with your reject posse, or at d list events taking pictures with wannabe high society skanks. I’ll admit it, I was checking your blog daily hoping for some quick laughs at your expense, but after a whopping 3 or 4 posts, it is obvious that you are a complete zero and bring absolutely nothing to the table. Once people run out of new ways to call you a douchebag, nobody will bother reading your unispired, mindless drivel. I would guess you are at the 13 minute mark of your 15 minutes of fame. Hope you enjoyed it. You gave up a 25 hour a week job making 6 figures for this? To make up dating stories and brag about hanging out with Rick Ross’ hangers on? (there is no doubt in my mind that they laughed at you all day, much like whoever reads this blog.) As someone pointed out above, Ross is a complete fraud, much like yourself, so I guess you guys have that in common.
So far, the only thing worthwhile and even remotely funny about this blog has been the comments. The true joke won’t happen for at least a few years, but when it does it will be a doozy. I can picture it now…a weathered, older, fatter, brokeass Arthur, with one tear roling down his cheek, finally realizing that while most people his age were actually enjoying the meaningful things in life: career, starting a family, marriage, etc., he decided too late to chase his Peter Pan dreams, made it absolutely nowhere, and all he has to show for it was some background work on Gossip Girl and memories of having a table next to Jamie Foxx at G lounge. So sad, yet so hilarious.

Random fact:

Lregion’s first comment was posted on Kade’s "Truth Slap" blog post (with no exclamation point)!

Lregion on 21 Mar 2009 at 4:59 am
Great stuff.

Criticism of the March 14th, 2010 blog post entitled “Arthur Kade To Do Television Interview With Kerri-Anne Kennerley (”The Queen Of Australian Television” And Host Of “Kerri-Anne”)”:

As if meeting with major TV networks on who will be carrying Arthur Kade’s amazing new Number 1 Hit TV Show is not enough while in Kade Angeles
Actually, that IS enough. MORE than enough. WAY, WAY more than enough. Your existence is more than enough, as a matter of fact!

he will now be doing a live TV Interview with Australia’s version of Oprah Winfrey on March 24th
Kind of like The Kyle and Jackie-O show in Sydney, Australia is the “#1 Most Popular Morning Radio Show In Kydney, Kadestralia” and The Matt And Jo Show on FOX Radio is both the “Number 1 listened too show on the continent” and “one of the most popular stations on the Gold Coast”, right? Why are you doing the old ‘pump them up because they’re interviewing me, Arthur Kade’ shtick again? I really REALLY hope Kerri-Anne has done her homework and verbally tears the SHIT out of you on that live interview, the way Fox News’ Julie Banderas ripped into Shirley Phelps-Roper in an interview.

talking to The Brand about how he has become an “International Media Phenomenon”
Being hated on the internet by people who visit your blog and leave nasty comments during their lunch breaks does NOT make you an “International Media Phenomenon.” Oh sure, you’ve been interviewed on radio shows, but so have plumbers and people whose second (or third) language is English. You’re an “International Media Douchernaut” because some people simply cannot BELIEVE your ‘level’ of arrogance. Doesn’t make you special.

his progress with “The Journey” in just 1.02334 years in “The Biz”
If we take February 12th, 2009 to be the first day of “Duh Gurney”, and we know that there were 365 days in 2009 (http://www.convertunits.com/dates/from/Jan+1,+2009/to/Jan+1,+2010), then you have been trailing off the beaten path for 396 days (February 12, 2009 – March 14, 2010). 1.02334 x 365 = 373.5191 (February 20, 2010). Therefore, your calculations (with their ridiculous 4-and-5 number decimal places) are just that: ridiculous…same with your face.
Also, in your last blog post (from March 11th, 2010), you said, “in just 1.1134 years of “The Journey”, Arthur Kade will be sitting in front of the people who shape and mold our television watching lives…” 1.1134 is more than 1.02334, moron. This is definitely a sign amongst signs that no one should ever pay attention to any of your silly bullshit, nor take you seriously, ever fucking again.

the tremendous impact his Brand is having on the worldwide world of entertainment and Film/TV
Yes, the amount of people facepalming and shaking their heads at the mere thought of your name is in the thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) by now. Congratulations! You are an embarrassing joke that people want to forget using electroshock treatment!

(I’m sure she will discuss my Emmy deserving Appearance on Showtime’s Hit, LA LA Land and Hit TV Show and NY Times Bestseller)
I’m sure she will too…with a grin that will be harder and harder to conceal the longer you two discuss your Emmy deserving Appearance.I myself can’t keep a straight face while reading that sentence! Emmy deserving? Have you discovered crack cocaine yet or WHAT? And your “NY Times Bestseller” hasn’t even been written yet! Editing for grammar ALONE will take the better part of a year! You are high and dry in the boat race of life, my friend!

The interview will take place in The Nine Network’s Satellite studio in KA, and will be transmitted by satellite to millions of Gen Poppers in Kadestralia who will see their conquering hero in the flesh
Men who own TV/flatscreen stores and people who repair TVs and flatscreens will be jumping for joy on that day because of the amount of Gen Poppers who will destroy their talkboxes after listening to five minutes of your tripe. Your douchiness improves the economy, jackass! Aren’t you proud? I bet your mom is…and I was proud of her LAST NIGHT. OOOOOOooooooooo.

and understand the charisma, charm, and wit that will make Arthur Kade the biggest star in “The Biz”, and award winning actor and author for years to come.
Look, I’ll be honest with ya: I’ve been following you since early May of 2009 and not even I understand your apparent “charisma, charm, and wit.” Besides Matt Beauchamp, I don’t know who else has been following your stupid Journey to Doom for this long (I’m not even sure if Beauchamp is still on board, either)! GOD, what I wouldn’t give to be retired right now….

This will alos be The Brand’s first TV Interview with a fellow M.I.M. (Mogul In The Making), and will be great practice for me for when I am interviewed in Kademerica by Oprah, Dave, Jay, and Conan for decades to come.

Kerri-Anne is “Australia’s TV Queen” and has been hosting talk shows for Channel 9 in Kadestralia for almost 40 years.
You spelled the word “also” wrong, genius. And how in the hell is Kerri-Anne a “Mogul In The Making” when she’s been hosting talk shows for FORTY YEARS? She is FAR from “In The Making”…she IS a Mogul (at least when compared to you), mother fucker! You’re wrong, by the way; she’s been on Australian TV since 1967 but hasn’t been HOSTING since 1967. My GOD, do you do ANY research AT ALL? She has done quite a bit in Australia, so she (MUCH MORE THAN YOU) should be integrating her last name with the name of the country that you’ve never been to yet say you’ve “dominated.” But I think she’s a way better person than to pull a stunt like that. You, however…

and now she will have an opportunity to interview one of Hollywood’s brightest rising stars, and most controversial, polarizing, and successful Comets, Arthur Kade.
Riiiiiight. I’m sure she’s gotten her panties all in a bunch over you, Kadeknocker. I hope you rate her during that interview, I really do. You have no idea how invigorating the THOUGHT of EVERY SINGLE PERSON WATCHING THAT SHOW AND INSTANTLY HATING YOU is.
If you would like to contact Kerri-Anne and help prepare her for the train wreck that is Arthur Kade, go to http://www.kerri-anne.com.au/contact_me.php and fill in the contact form. This is our chance to warn the host of a show about Kade’s lies, and perhaps prepare her enough for the onslaught of stupid that she will be able to counter his bullshit and expose him for the pathological liar and celebrity wannabe that we know he is.

Top Moments From an absolutely ridic weekend on all fronts. The weather channel called for a 100% chance of “Kade Style”, and The Brand delivered a “Category 6″ like only he could:
And like disastrous weather, your presence and “Style” left people sobbing, hopeless, desperate, and lusting for suicide as the only logical option out of such a sick, Kade-infested world. My God. You know, if I could get the permission of every single person who has left a kickass insult on your site, I would write a book called “Kadeisms” that would be filled with nothing but hatred for you. If it got to the top 10 of the New York Times Bestseller list (or, even better, won a Pew-litzer…I spelled it the way you pronounced it, jackass), I would mail a copy to you after I pissed on it, because that’s how I roll, LEGO ‘TH’TYLE.

Meeting fellow Crafter, and Celebrity, Matt McConaughey at 1Oak in NYC on Thursday
Yet you didn’t get any pictures with him. As they say on 4chan, “PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.”

Matt couldn’t have been more down to Earth upon meeting me
Like most people, he was probably being nice to you simply because he thought you were mentally retarded. Can’t you just hear ol’ McConaughey, in his relaxed Texan drawl, say to someone (after you bounce away), “Who the hell was that fuckin’ douchebag?” I can!

I met him while talking to an NYC 9.8 Brazilian Model from the top agency in the world, NEXT Models, who could barely speak English, but was so turned on by me telling her “I am a Celebrity and have a TV Show and Book I am working on”
Why would you lie to someone who can barely speak English, let alone your own personal language of Kadelingo? Why would you want to torture and confuse a poor girl like that? Don’t you have any respect? You probably soaked her face in your spittle though. I’m sure that was a welcome custom that she’s used to, coming from Brazil and all. Isn’t Brazil where most of the curvy-bootied women come from? Was she originally a 10 before you saw that rump, Kade? I remember you rating a woman who was an extra on 30 Rock and you docked her points because of dat ASS, son! What a fool you are…

I started talking to another model I that I thought would be great to partner up for a “Kade Style” threesome
Awww, but it didn’t happen because of your grandiosity, acne, smell and spittle. Poor guy. Better luck next time though, hey? Don’t feel bad, Arturrrrrrr, you can still jerk it with both hands (one at a time, of course) and PRETEND she’s part of your “thhhhreethome”!

having the chance to spend 15-20 minutes discussing “The Journey” with him, getting tremendous career advice when talking about the release of The Brand’s hit TV Show, what it will take for me to win Lil’ Oscar
Short of taking people hostage and exchanging them for an Oscar, I think it’s going to take more than you’ll ever have (even with help) to “win Lil’ Oscar.” Being the nice guy that Mr. McConaughey is, he probably gave you a few words of encouragement and then took a 14-19 minute call from his cellphone.

and just doing what we celebs do when at a club, kickin’ it “Kade Style”.
Oh God. You didn’t do a “Kween” impression for him, did you? Oh please NO, Arthur! What did he ever do to you?

it’s funny that when other celebs meet me they are usually in awe of The Brand, but he felt so comfortable and relaxed that I feel like we we could have been on a Ranch in Texas just smoking weed playing the congos together
Playing the WHAT together? I didn’t know you were into reggae, Kade! But why didn’t you capitalize their name? They Are “The Congos,” y’know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Congos
Were you, perhaps, referring to the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Africa (formerly known as Zaire)? Are you and McConaughey going to tour over there together as two actors from the U.S. giving good ol’ American acting advice? Now THAT could be “Balls Ass Hot!”
Maybe you misspelled Cognos, a former Canadian software company swallowed up by IBM. Are you two going to make crank calls as Cognos agents to major TV studios in Hollywood? Please, PLEASE…if you two end up making those calls, PLEASE record the one you make to Kent Osborne. PLEASE! Post it on Snapvine as quickly as possible! Remember that Snapvine shuts down at the end of the month, so we all want an awesome voicemail to remember it by, okay?
Surely you couldn’t have been referring to the hot French model Carole Congos? Is she going to be in the threesome with the Brazilian 9.8? Or is it going to be a Kade-McConaughey tagteam?
Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt: you were trying to spell congas. I understand. You still get half a gold star for trying! Good thing you weren’t going for bongos, because OH MAN, what a FUCKING IDIOT you would have been for misspelling that one! I mean, looking at the keyboard, the letter “V” separates the “B” and “C” keys, and we all know that you’re such a superstar that you would NEVER, EVER misspell…

He told me, “The business isn’t easy”, and “You will have to scratch and claw for everything you get”...
That’s for sure. You should start by scratching and clawing Richard Simmons on national TV, because I’m sure he’ll do the same at the first sight of YOUR HUGE FUCKING NOSE.

I think the mutual respect that occurred between 2 successful actors like ourselves couldn’t have been more evident to The Gen Pop.
But you’re not a successful actor, Kade! You’re a Gen Pop extra just like the rest of them! Appearing on La La Land AS YOURSELF doesn’t make you an actor. No! No it doesn’t! Do not pass Go! Do not collect 200 dollars! Instead, pass “Go to Hell” and collect eternal damnation for all your lies!

He asked that we not take a pic and I understood because we have to be careful of our image for tabloids...
Great excuse for not having a picture of the two of you together (which most likely would have been taken by you on your camera)! You’ve already claimed that Gawker is your own personal tabloid (“GawKade”), and what they’ve said about you kind of destroys any “image” you think you have…

I am sure that when Team Kade reaches out to him to make a “Celeb Cameo” on my show with IMG Media, he will jump at the opportunity to be reunited with The Brand.
Oh yeah, that’s it! Hey man, we’ve got some decent B.C. Bud up here, but what you’re smokin’ has GOT to be from the Caribbean, yo! You sure you weren’t talking about The Congos earlier?

Walking up to the DJ Booth as I always do at 1OAK after being escorted in
Standing as close as possible to the DJ Booth at 1OAK after waiting in line like everyone else…

I realized who was spinning was none other than the great fashion designer, Marc Jacobs, who was so intensely focused on his set, that I didn’t want to bother him to say “Hello” and get a “Celeb Shout Out” to the crowd like I do at different clubs on the East and West Coast
Yet another great excuse as to why you don’t have a picture of yourself and someone else who has at least SOME success in “””’’”“’’’’The Biz!”””’’””’”’”’”’ You probably weren’t even allowed NEAR the DJ booth, you fucking liar!

because Marc was so busy, I didn’t want to pull rank and make it seem like I was bigger than him, especially because I’m sure he will want Arthur Kade front row in future fashion shows during IMG Fashion Week in NYC soon
…so all those anorexic models can either (1) puke on you or (2) slip and fall onto you. I honestly can’t see any other reason why he would have you in the front row for fashion shows, let alone even in the building.

Running into the gorgeous Vicky’s Girl (Victoria’s Secret Model) and now friend and fellow Celeb, Selita Ebanks
After seeing pictures of her, I can just imagine how she rolled her eyes at whoever she was with upon spotting you.

of course she remembered The Brand from me being at her birthday Brunch at SoHo Hot Spot
Of course! Who else spit-showered her that day?

she responded, “I love the hat you’re wearing tonight”
BAHAHAHAHA! I can’t WAIT for people who are reading your tripe in Los Angeles to use that line on you…and you won’t pick up on it until much too late! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I may have to reach out to Team Kade to find out if she is single and wants to grab din in NYC with me because when you are a celeb dating another celeb, you communicate through your reps, rather than in person like Gen Poppers do
Don’t be a pussy, Kade. If you want to go to dinner with the girl, ASK her! YOU ask her! Ask her to her FACE! Most people get over that kind of in-person nervousness early on in high school.

While at Recess on Friday, I met and made out with an exotic looking Philly 9.85 who
…immediately spewed in your mouth when you opened up that stinky, gaping maw and tried to shove your sarlacc-like tentacle tongue into her face. Yeah, we know. Nothing new here.

and after trying to get her to come over to Chateau Kade for some prime time “Kadeing” after the club closed (I love when she called me “SOOOOO CUTE”), she decided to go home to her house so that we could hang out this week instaed
Once again, a woman REFUSED to go with you to the Chateau LaundryFloor and YOU try to pass it off as nothing. BullSHIT! Do you ever wonder why women don’t go with you to your dorm of hate? It’s because they’re scared of being tied up with leather straps, having a ball gag shoved into their mouths and made to sit in front of your 38” flatscreen watching all the micro-flashes of you being an extra in whatever productions you’ve raved about in the past (I don’t even fucking care to name them anymore, that’s how sick I am of this waste of cumB) and listening to you go on and FUCKING ON about how you’re going to be the next big thing…BIG FUCKIN’ DEAL. Also, why did you spell “instead” wrong?

texted me at 4:40AM once I was showered and in bed asking me if I wanted to “Hang Out Now”, but I had to turn her down because I had to work on The Craft the next morning and run errands early.
Blogging at Cothi’s is surely a reason to turn down hanging out with a girl at 5 AM. You da mad winner, yo.

Through my 20’s, I never turned down hooking up with gorgeous girls late night, and now I actually do because I am so dedicated to “”The Journey”", and as Mickey told Rocky, “”Women Weaken Knees”"
Your nose weakens people’s will to live.

so if any Gen Popper ever doubts my commitment to holding “”LIl’ Oscar”", episodes like this should make them believe
Uh, yeah, bullshit, because one of your “Top Moments” from your March 8th, 2010 blog post (#3 to be exact) talks about you going to a girl’s house, being naked with her and then having her wake you up at 6:45 AM to kick your lazy, dumbass out. Also, the #1 of your “Top Moments” from your March 1st, 2010 blog post states that you “ended up going home with a girl I was hanging with earlier in the night, and when we woke up at her place, we laughed at how she tried to keep me from coming over by telling me, “My Legs aren’t shaved” to which The Brand responded, “I’ll throw you in the shower when we get to your place”, and the other one was “My place is a disaster” to which Arthur Kade responded, “Perfect, because we are going to make it messier”. I told her, “You realize you are trying to stop a locomotive with a cardboard box right now”, and I made sure it was a worth while night for her, although I was so wasted I had “Whiskey Dick” and couldn’t cumb if my life depended on it.” FUCKING LIAR you are.

although I have hooked up with 10 girls in the last 3 weeks cementing Arthur Kade’s stature as “One of Hollywood’s Biggest Bad Boys”.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT…is comedy! If you TRULY WERE one of the "Bad Boys" you’d have hooked up with 10 girls in a SINGLE NIGHT! Also, you’re not in Hollywood, you’re in Philadelphia. I might as well say that I myself am “on the way to being one of Toronto’s Bestest Movie Actors” because I pounded a girl last night, and a few days before that, and again a few days before THAT. Christ, even Matt Beauchamp is a bigger, more famous star than you! Fuck, even Anastasia Beaverhousen, Drunken Housewife and Drew are better than you at scoring with chicks! You know what I’m sayin’?

Being invited to the “List Only” NFL Private Party at the newly opening W Hotel in Kade Angeles while I am there killing it in meetings with Major TV Networks all dying to meet Arthur Kade…
Yeah, I think you’re going to be the only one who’s going to die. I’ve never been to L.A. but if I talked as much shit as you, I’d be one scared little cracker.

introduce The Brand and “The Journey” to many of the top athletes in the world who will either be Kade Nation fans already, or will be “Konverts” (The term that the Gen Pop uses for New Kade Nation Alumni)
Konverts! People to add to the Kongregation in the Khurch of Kade! How many priests will you shuffle off to other cities after they’ve been accused of sucking off the young Kalter boys? Don’t sissy out like the Vatican, man, keep ‘em there! The Gen Pop will forgive and forget once you use your “charisma, charm, and wit” to convince them that the priests are still Holy men! Hell, word of your amazingness might even spread to Rome, and Pope Norm will most likely appoint you to be a special guest in Vatican City, yo! Then you can be the superstar of the Catholic church and bang nuns in the nunnery! Go Kadester, it’s yo birfday….

The invite list is strictly “A-List”, and will be a terrific opportunity to focus on “Biz” networking as well as getting a threesome with some models that night.
So, in other words, you’ll be volunteering to clear tables and trying to pawn your “business card” off on KA 9s and 10s who will slap you, snap their fingers and have their athlete boyfriends dunk you headfirst into every toilet they can find in that place after people have tested out the new Banana Strawberry brand of X-lax, right? Gotcha.

When Gen Poppers look in the mirror, they see their reflection. When Arthur Kade looks in the mirror, it has an orgasm.
Oh, if only it would. Do you know how much damage broken glass can do to human skin? Imagine standing in front of a mirror (that’s as tall as you) and having the thing explode out at you…surgeons would never be able to get all those tiny glass shards out of your Kangaroo face. Oh! Then you could be all sparkly like Edward Cullen from “Twilight”! It’ll be THOOOOOOOO THPECIAL!

Regarding the videos (ugh),

Kade’s Overnight Bag”: The backpack makes a return! Also, your “quick n’ easy overnight bag” SUCKS. I hope someone steals it and throws it off the train…and then throws you under it. The ONLY celebrity I’ve seen using anything but REAL luggage was Ron Jeremy (but that’s because Ron is saving his money so he can get out of porn one day and become a real actor in mainstream Hollywood; check it out for yourself in the documentary “Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy”). By the way, who the hell is filming your video? Is it Chad Boonswang? I’ve heard that he’s a short little fella. Definitely not Marissa Rosen (because of the lack of cackling as a result of your lame humour)! So what gives, Kade-O? Who’s your new handycam wingman? Kevin McDonald? And why is it that whoever is with you nowadays doesn't want to be seen on camera with you? If you're such a big star and/or rising celebrity, then one would think that your pals would want to be front and center with you. How 'bout them apples, eh?

What If? And Why Not?” Book Release Party": Short, dark, painful…the exact romantic setting that you use after you’ve thrown a girl (drugged up by you, of course) over your shoulder and carted her back to Chateau Stinko for some “Rosemary’s Baby”-style fucking (Mia Farrow unconscious and John Cassavetes goin’ at ‘er). When all your videos are accidentally deleted (or removed for their overbearing retardedness), are you really going to miss them? Will you cry? Because let me tell ya, Youtube would LOVE to get back the few gigabytes of space your dumb videos are taking up. Do you hold your digital life in such high regard, Kade? Do you?

The Standard Grill”: He wears his hat inside the restaurant. He gives a shout out TO HIS MENU. I did not see anyone else at the table he was at. He’s fucking annoying. I am disappoint.

The Suite At The Royalton”: You fuckers better be thanking me for watching these god damn videos. Whatever you do, don’t watch them. That’s why I’m not embedding the codes here, because they FUCKING SUCK AND THEY’RE THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Fuck man, I should have dubbed in some of these videos instead of Kade’s “Greed is good” monologue when putting together the “Clockwork orange” bit of the “2009: A Study in Arthur Kade's Epic Failure” video. It’s strange: Arthur says that one of his favourite places to stay when he’s in the Big Kap…Apple (pardon me) is the Royalton, yet he’s never mentioned it in his blog before now. Puzzling. Then he shows us, the viewers (I use plural because I think Kevin Brueck would be watching too, but hardly anyone else), the BATHROOM. WOOOOOOW. “Look at this,” he says, showing us the big tub. “Tell me some hot sex is not gonna happen in that tub.” We don’t have to. You know it, and we know it. Then he shows us the fucking fireplace….THAT ISN’T EVEN ON! WHAT, WAS THAT GOING TO COST YOU EXTRA, FUCKHEAD? He says to not leave the fireplace on all night because the room will then smell like “sut.” Yes, sut. I kid you not, sut. I spelled it the way I heard him pronounce it. That’s probably what he cumbs out of his tiny, shrivelled-up demon-member all over the faces of girls he’s tied down in the Chateau. He’s such a loser. I can’t believe he posts these embarrassing videos. Really, I can’t. Seriously. Really and seriously. I am a loser for watching them. I’m sorry, y’all, this will be my last LegoWig post because I’m going to cut my wrists and shoot myself in the head…twice. Twice? Not possible, you say. Oh, but it can happen. It HAS happened! Gary Webb did it! Of course, some may doubt that because of his investigative journalism exposure of the CIA’s knowledge of the crack epidemic in South Central Los Angeles and how the funding was going towards the Nicaraguan contras AND his book “Dark alliance” detailing such things…but no, that’s a bunch of poppycock. He shot himself twice in the head…just to be sure…just as I am sure I will do once I finish uploading this.

Vietnamese Kade Nation Dances For The Brand”: First he asks a group of Vietnamese girls to dance for him, then to say “I love Arthur Kade.” Come on man, they’re probably in the country as escorts or sex slaves, so why you gotta make their lives even more miserable? Whatever they all said, they said it in Vietnamese (hopefully they caught on to how much of a douche he was right away and covered up their derogatory terms of him while saying it to his face). Fuck you Kade, they should have pulled some Tony Jaa moves on your stupid hide and left you bleeding on the dance floor so that women could poke holes in your face with their high heels.

Okay, that’s it. I’m glad that post is over…ditto with my life because of this deluded fucknut. As NewsFlash! said in the comment section of this blog post, “Nobody Cares!

Wig out.




  1. Wig,

    I feel your anger and disgust! He is so overdue for a "come to Jesus meeting". Someone needs to verbally/physically knock the shit out of him..

    I would also like to give a "SHOUT OUT........ to the MENU at the Standard... It's a fucking menu.

  2. I think you wasted your time writing that long of a post. No one's going to read the whole thing.

  3. In addition to the recent pizza face manifestation, he's getting really bloated and greasy. Could things get worse for him? And the spittle situation... that's just disgusting. "C'est a vomir" as the french say.

  4. dude controlling this site....
    you are one sorry mother f'er!
    get a life man! and i say that while agreeing that Arthur is one of the sorriest d'bags on the planet. i knew him personally for bit. never even said hi back to him when i'd see him b/c i thought he was such a tool. but your obsession is sicker than he is. try expending the effort you do on critiquing his blog posts, on something more productive. the world may just be a better place for it.

  5. ...and if you (^ ^ ^) would stop wasting potential world betterment effort critiquing those who critique...well, you see where this leads? Actually, I don't know of a better way to make the world a better place other than to critique Arthur 'Gravy' Kade. I am open to suggestions, if you have any.

  6. I saw that he was tagged in a photo on FB... it's really unflattering. I'm sure he'll un-tag it soon, but I thought I'd share it with the masses first :)


  7. I can't do it anymore. At first, I used to read his blog and comment to de-stress. I would say things that I have never said to another person in real life. It felt good. You see, I'm a PTA mom, a paralegal by day. A straight-laced semi-conservative southern woman.

    It even scared me a little that I could hate so throughly, that I could be so cruel...that I could imagine Arthur being raped and beaten..even wishing for it. I called him terrible names in his comment section. Unfathomable things.

    I went back there today after a several month hiatus. I read. I felt nothing.

    I can't even muster the energy to hate him anymore. I have read every single negative thing ever said about him. There's nothing more to say. He's stuck on repeat, and it's gone beyond being aggravating, it's background noise. Something you get so used to hearing, that you completely block it out. Like the grandfather clock in my office that has chimed every hour for the last nine years. I don't hear it anymore.

    His time is up, people. Even at his spit covered, lispy misogynistic, greasy, worst, I don't feel anything anymore.

    I think I can allow him to fade into the boring earth toned stripes of my ugly bathroom wallpaper now.



  8. What's with all the memes in here dood? U LURK?

  9. @ PTA Mom (from above)
    Good for you! that's exactly what i'm talking about! Arthur is such a non-factor in this world, how can anyone muster up the energy to spew such hatred repetitively!! half these people probably have never even met him....meaning, isn't it easier to hate someone you actually know? not that he AK doesn't deserve a shitload of crap. but ultimately, who cares???
    as for you Kudos,
    what you said above....that's what makes you the sad, sorry deranged faggot that you are. Anyone who's read this blog knows you're just as obsessed with AK as the writers of legowig...So it's only obvious that you'd defend this legowig psycho.
    Birds of a feather.....

  10. Anonymous on March 15th, 3:12 PM.

    You're most likely right (on both counts); however, I shall continue.

    Anonymous on March 16th, 7:10 AM.

    I DO have a life and am NOT obsessed with him. If I was obsessed, I'd be on his site every minute of every day (which I certainly am not). I visit once every few days, that's all. I dedicate much time and effort to other things that are far more important to me.

    Michelle on March 16th, 2:15 PM.

    I wish you well. Thank you for visiting. I hope others have the same epiphany as you do.

    Anonymous on March 17th, 11:13 AM.

    Why, yes, I DO lurk! What's the problem?

    Anonymous on March 17th, 3:22 PM.

    What, exactly, makes me a psycho (or are you simply throwing names out in an attempt to aggravate me)? Also, Kudos is not obsessed because he used to comment far more often than he does now.

  11. I'm obsessed with arthur -given half a chance I'd lick his ballsack and rim that russian peasant sphincter - it is quite good fun following the turd's continuous lies, . It's just like mocking a downs syndrome kid but without the guilty conscience afterwards.
    You know it's not often someone of such magnificent cuntosity comes around - such delusion is rare...there's usually a few sane atoms in the brain that keep within the embarrassment threshold...but not in arthur's brain there aint. He's like that chink on your American Idol....she bangs she bangs....that's the one, that's as much talent as arthur has - and equally amusing is that he spends his whole life in bars, drinking - so much for the art of acting...he's a lightweight cunt and deserves attention. There are so many aspects of his life to enjoy, particularly his fucked up childhood and his sex offending father - it gives one a warm feeling of schadenfreude, a tingling glow of satisfaction that this cunt is so unredeemingly cuntish he is truly deserving of what's coming - actually, it'll end with a whimper....it always does.... and I too, will just lose interest.

  12. Hey Chad, sue your parents, it was their fault.

    @ Anonymous...

    Grow a pair, then try again. If your comments mattered in the least I would comment ten times a day just to aggravate you. But, like you, your comments matter not.

    As for you Douchiest Maxamus...
    You're getting fat, going bald, an alcoholic and a habitual liar. I can't help but think that you were not molested, instead it should be referred to as an affair. It was probably your dad that ruined it and now everything you do is an effort to get back at him.

    Changing your name...major insult to a father
    Exposing your families dirty laundry...make Papa Kade proud
    Acting and living like you're mentally ill...dads love that
    Dishonoring your Jewish heritage...Papa understands (not)
    Destroying any chance of financial success...not good for an old mans heart
    Making sure you'll never get married...guess the family name dies with you

    I bet your dad prays everyday that you die soon.

    @ eg...
    You are our UK Ambassador to Legowig. Your efforts are appreciated.

    @ Michelle...
    Change the wall paper in your bathroom

  13. Twitter silience for >24hrs ???

    Is he dead yet?!

  14. wow.. i haven't been here in ages!
    i have completely forgoten about this pathetic loser..
    it's not fun to read his bullshit anymore.. i doubt i'll ever be back.
    so long everybody!

  15. Kade: "cottman ave, thts whr my grandmother is buried". So any Philly locals can leave her flowers and a note about expressing sorrow about what a fucking punk douche waste of cumb fucktard her grandson turned out to be.

  16. Snapvine is shutting down. If you want to save Artshitz's voicemails do it now.

  17. I dont bother to read anything about kade anymore.
    But I did see this and IMMEDIATELY thought of him.

  18. Another colossal Philly fucktard has moved into orbit around Kade's associate Michelle Miller (a/k/a "Gabbana", see Kade's players ID'd here). I quote:

    "For all the Karina Bradley fans out there I am proud to announce that I have just associated myself with the fabolous Michelle Miller. In case you don’t know who Michelle is, she is the CEO of The Nouveau Image, one of PA’s renowned PR firms." See


    For background:

    "Ever since we first stumbled across her existence one fateful afternoon last summer — and the timing was perfect, really, because we were starting to suffer from Arthur Kade fatigue — delusional, desperate-for-celebrity Philly “pop star” Karina Bradley has felt like a little local secret..." See


    Michelle Miller is the same woman who looked all swollen and used up in a video on Kade's blob where he was walking into Dusk. Compare her Twitter pic: http://twitter.com/meashababy

    Like a Kade before/after, it's obvious that these fucktards are getting beaten up by the club "life". Serves them right for foisting this fucking aggravation onto decent society.

  19. How the fuck this Karen Bradley isn't world fucking famous I just don't fucking know - such monumental talent has hitherto remained undisclosed to me.

    She looks a bit like Tori Spelling, she's got that same 'horsey' look about her....not that I mean she's part of the horsey set........ she looks like a fucking horse. Fake titties and a nose like Jackson's. But, when all is said and done, I like small girls, tiny petite little things, I can boss them about, bully them into anal....'come on, all the girls do it, honest.......BEND the fuck over and brace yerself...'. She seems to have made a bit more progress than Arthur, I mean someone must be paying for all that excremental filming.
    It's difficult to tell if she can sing, what with all the effects on her voice, she doesn't really dance - just wiggles her arsehole - and she looks like she should be running in the seller's handicap in the 2.30 at Haydock Park.............she'll go far.

  20. Kerri-Anne is going to kill him.