LegoWigKade's 2010 Resolutions for Arthur Kade

Well Christmas has come and gone, and we know we're missing a few posts, but that's OK! While we try to get all of his posts up in a timely fashion, the last thing we were going to do is waste time on Kade over the holidays.

We have, however, put together the following New Years resolutions for Arthur Kadyshes in response to his recent post of the same topic. (We'll have that up soon, maybe, but for now just go here.) Arthur, if you're reading this post - and we know you are - you should really print this stuff out and read it several times. We don't give a crap about you, honestly, but you'll be much better off for taking our advice instad of listening to white trash like Lindsay Furman and Sabrina Strickland.

LegoWigKade's 2010 New Year's Resolutions for Arthur Kadyshes

1. Give Up the acting dream
To anyone with half a brain, it's clear that Arthur can't act. The acting classes have not helped, and it's clear from his YouTube videos that he isn't even good enough at it to be called one-dimensional. It would be one thing if Kade had any modesty and simply said he was trying to become an actor. But no... We get proclamations of pending Oscars and Emmys when the idiot has never even been in a movie other than being an extra. Nobody has ever seen him on screen, and no one ever will. The definite failure at acting will be his doom. It will happen. The sooner Arthur gives up on this dream and embraces his position in life as a "gen-popper" - the very thing he despises - the better off he'll be. 
2. Come out of the closet
Throughout the last 10 months, viewers of ArthurKade.com have witnessed a wide number of characteristics that point to a burning homosexuality. The disdain and hatred of women, for starters, is a clear indication of his homosexuality. The constant references to "brunch" only strengthen this, because men - straight-men - don't say "brunch." They also don't say fabulous. The best thing for Arthur to do is simply announce his homosexuality to the world in hopes of gaining sympathy, or a different fan base. Although, I'm guess most gay guys will vomit at the site of him and his silly t-shirts.
3. Commit to a drug rehab program
It's been talked about constantly, people have posted about it, and everyone assumes it. The consensus is that Arthur Kade is heavily addicted to cocaine along with most of his friends. The signs are obvious: nervous twitching, hyperactivity, the bad breath, etc. are all indicators of this addiction. Like we said, countless people have posted that they know how he and his nontourage are all heavy abusers of the drug. This is not going to help Arthur at all. The best thing he can do is commit to a drug rehab program and clean his life up. Maybe, just maybe if he completes a rehab program, he can take the next step towards cleaning up his life and trying to exist in society.
4. Give up therapy or find a new therapist
Arthur claims to have been going to therapy for a number of years. It's not working! We think it's safe to assume that Arthur lies constantly to his therapist, to the point that the therapist actually has no idea who he really is. Either way, it's not working, and he's just turned into a giant monster. It would be best for him to either stop therapy altogether, or find a better therapist. It may actually require the skills of several psychiatrists to tap into his absurdly messed-up brain, but it's worth a shot.
5. Set reasonable goals
Arthur has set so many unattainable goals that it's just hard to comprehend what he will do when they don't happen. Oscar winning actor? NY Times Best Selling Author? Comparing himself to God? These are ludicrous pipe dreams for someone of such non-talent. For a headcase like Arthur, it would be best to digress a long way from these goals and instead focus on some smaller ones, such as: "Use mouth wash when I wake up, or ever." "Try not to creep people out." "Learn how to use the kind of punctuation kids learn in first grade." "Don't make a fool out of himself." "Don't brag about things that can be disproved." "Don't wear t-shirts made for 12 year olds." "Wear clean clothes." Simple things, simple things people!
6. Stop lying
It's already been proven by the Assistant to Steven Ward that there is no TV show currently in development between Kade and IMG Media. Arthur's entire existence is based on lies, primarily to himself, but obviously to everyone he comes in contact with. He believes he is a celebrity and tells people this. He believes he will win acting awards, and he tells people this. He says he stays in suites when he's just in a regular hotel room. The list goes on. We know if will be impossible for him to achieve this resolution, because to not lie is to not be Arthur Kade.
7. Do something about his hygiene
It's been well documented that Arthur suffers from numerous hygiene problems, including halitosis, mouth spittle, overall body odor, etc. People are repulsed by the site of him in pictures alone! In person, it's been claimed that he either reeks of sweat, or reeks of excessive cologne to cover up the sweat. We have no idea where to start with suggestions on this. Etiquette class? A massive body detox? We have no idea how to solve this problem, but if Kade ever wants to be attractive to the opposite sex (or guys based on #2 above, he'd better figure out how to not smell like wet trash.
8. Beg for a job anywhere
Arthur has burned a ton of bridges and friendships along the way. He has paved a path across the Internet that is filled with disrespect, drug use, sexism, misogyny, disgusting immature behavior, and just all out general stupidity. He has made himself unemployable to the n'th degree. Since there's no chance he will EVER be a professional actor, or even support his life with acting, it's time for him to realize that his employment options are very, very slim. At best his options will be fast food restaurants, or telemarketing. Each and every HR manager that does a simple background check on Kade is going to find enough negative and troublesome information on him to last a lifetime. Why would anyone hire an employee who so obviously hates women? Who shows signs of drug use? Who hates regular people? Arthur is as massive a liability to a business as an employee walking around with a shotgun. Once Kade's world fully falls apart in 2010, he will need to beg like a dog for a job anywhere, and we imaging that very few people will take him.
9. Stop disrespecting his religion
Arthur always talks about being a "good Jew" and about observing Jewish traditions. It's clear to us that he has absolutely no respect for Judaism or religion of any kind. Would a respectful Jew call himself God? Would a respectful Jew act like Kade acts? For Kade, religion is a convenience - something he can use for attention and to try and show the world that he isn't the very reincarnation of Satan himself. It would be best for him to cease any reference to Judaism since he's obvious he has no respect for it.
10. Stop calling himself "young Hollywood"
Arthur kade is 32 years old. THIRTY TWO. He completely fails to realize that "young Hollywood" refers to actors in their late teens and early 20s. People with talent, with speaking lines, starring in movies. Not unemployed 32 year olds in the 5th largest market in the US who have never acted in anything seen by the general public. Nobody knows his name. Nobody has seen him act. The only connection to Hollywood that he has is as an outsider looking in, desperate for a different life and for fame. He will not get it.
11. Realize he is nothing but gen-pop trash
The sooner Arthur Kade realizes that he is not a celebrity, the better off the world will be. It's time for him to stop calling Hollywood actors his peers. It's time for him to stop calling himself a celebrity, and time to stop claiming international popularity and press. He's nothing but a gen-popper himnself, on the outside looking in, desparate to be cool and accepted. It's beyond sad that a 32 year old man needs to brag about riding in limos, sporting event tickets, hotel rooms that are not suites, etc. Arthur Kade was not, is not, and never will be a celebrity. EVER.
Got some to add? Let us hear your resolutions for Kade in the comments section!


  1. 12. Stop Twittering! You come off even more illiterate and obtuse than imaginable.

    13. Pay off the IRS and all the others that you owe money to. Karma is a bitch.

    14. Move into your own "Big Boy" apartment and get some IKEA/Rooms to Go furniture. At 32, live like an adult.

    15. You have Hypertension and Diabetes.. all exacerbated from your "lifestyle". Shape up now, or 20 years from now, you'll be a "Celebrity" in the "Cemetary".

    16. Commit to have some "real" authentic adult relationships in your life. Oh, never mind.

    17. Have a Vasectomy. Do not Breed!

    18. Get Help for every aspect in your life.


    from "Gen Pop".

  2. 19. Stopping abusing commas and parenthesis. Actually, stop abusing English grammar all together.

  3. Yay, legowig is back! Really really missed you.

    It is really hard to think of other resolutions when you have done such a good job, and the ones I think of are things he simply would no do anyhow. Like any addict, he has to hit rock bottom before he realises he even HAS a problem. But because of Arthur's kind of mental problems, once realization hits, life is over. His self-worth is all he has, and realizing he has no worth anymore ('the journey' saw to that)...well we all know what that means.

    Hah, I just thought of a few resolutions.

    *Throw out everything sharp and all pills that can kill in a large enough quantity. Keep the number to The Horsham Clinic (behavioral healthcare facility serving Philly, SE Pennsylvania and N.J. www.horshamclinic.com) taped to the refrigerator.

    *Find new friends. Ones that actually care about you and don't fuel your insanity.

    *Try to live non Kade-style for a month and see if you don't look better, think with more rationality, and realize your budget can actually afford more than a big screen tv and a beach chair. (not to mention that if you actually PRACTICED 'the craft', your acting might improve a smidgen. I'm not promising much improvement, but practice really does make a difference even to a thick headed dulloid like yourslf.) Your youtube videos might even reach 2 stars, wouldn't that be neet?

  4. Maybe apologize to Danielle Poe and BEG HER to take him back?

  5. #19 - Insert shotgun into anus.

    #20 - Pull trigger

    Thank christ Lego is back. I visited the real site about 5 times....which brings me great shame.

  6. Great post guys! His life trully is sad...

  7. @Matt: I'm feeling dirty and ashamed too.

    Good resolutions.

    #21 - stop taking pictures of shit no one cares about: food and the douchebag/skank hos of Philly.

  8. #22


  9. His first resolution should be to stop eating or drinking anything he doesn't prepare himself. Brandoh doesn't realize that the people he disparages daily are dealing with his pompous funknuttery in a most horrific manner. Even eating at his papas isn't safe...look what 'step mom' does to his hair. As far as work goes, well, maybe he could rent out that nose to be the eighteenth hole on a miniature golf course.


    #whatever) Go bald. You don't look good in any of those shades of blond

  11. Change name to Jewsus Khrist

  12. Which post had the Assistant to Stephen Ward disprove the IMG deal? I missed that and would like to see it. Anyone remember?

    #whatever +) (my fault, sorry, forgot to number mine) Have a stylist, or a metrosexual,or snazzy homosexual pick out a new set of MAN clothes for you. Do you go to auditions wearing that crap you usually wear? Unless the part is for a 'middle-age chrisis guy who has his mouth wired shut', you lose the audition the second you walk in. (I realize this is somewhat covered by legowig's resolutions, but I decided it needs specific attention rather than being an after thought) I am annoyed with the teeshirts and stupid hats.

  13. I laughed out loud when I read the suggested resolution that Arthur use mouthwash. Happy New Year, LegoWig; I missed you while you were busy with your real life over the holidays.

  14. #something else

    Stop alluding to the notion that you have an AMEX Black card. You do not, nor will you ever have a black card. Dick mitten.

  15. I notice the online t-shirt store finally decided to pull its ad from his site?

  16. #? Tear off his face and replace it with a gorilla's ass.

  17. #24- Empty your drool buckets more than once a month.

    #25- Stop trying to invoke hell fire and lightning strikes on Philly with your brutish neanderfuck blaspheming.

    #26- Lay off with the face raping- everyone's seen sea lampreys and leeches on the Discovery channel, what makes you think women in Philly want that experience from you in real life?

    Happy New Year, evuhbuddy.

    Zombie. Out, like.

  18. 'Brandoh'....excellent, still chuckling at that one.
    Those resolutions for dear Arthur are spot on, if he followed them his life WOULD actually improve. His therapist couldn't better it - but then to fix this cunt would deprive said therapist of an earner and dear Arthur has spunked a near fortune on whoever the charlatan is...'Ok Arthur, pay my secretary on your way out. You're still a cunt so I'll see you next week, same time'.
    PS - I wouldn't say 'nick'. I'd say 'incarcerated at Her Majesty's pleasure'....why use one word when one can use five, it's a British tradition.

  19. .....I've just read the latest post on Arthur's site - it's got to be in the top 3 of all time. If it's comedy then it's brilliant, I mean, I know it's genuine and the cunt can't help himself but gems like......'I want to help starving Africans and deliver them food and medical supplies, I'd also bring them items from my clothing and fragrance lines'........
    yes, cologne, that's what starving Africans need, pml.
    ...' I am ejaculated all the time by girls'
    ...' ..my book will do down in the annals of history as a clasiic like 'Gone With the Wind'..Shakespeare and The DaVinci Code"

    ....plus he lies, brags and deludes his fucking head off - kadetastic. He's hitting the fucking ground running.....

  20. He really is gay. Not that I actually doubted it, but he has nothing whatsoever in common with all the smart, funny, nattily dressed gay men I've known.

    The movie The Notebook made him CRY? Hell, I'm a woman and the damned thing just irritated the snot out of me!

    Sorry my gay friends, but Artshitz HAS to be batting for your team. No straight man would willingly watch the Notebook, unless they were promised a sammich and BJ for their trouble from their lady.

  21. he, unfortunately is NOT gay.. he's just a borderline rapist loser nutjob.. like chad and his other "friends"

  22. "he, unfortunately is not gay"...

    Oh, contraire, he is so gay. Men cannot be 'BI' - you either do or you don't. You have or you haven't. He has so he is.
    And just the same way convicts can't use "only gay for the stay" Brandoh has no excuse. Besides, how many more things would it take to convince...an actual video?

  23. The thought of you passed out drunk in some shithole hotel room with lice crawling in and out of your asshole, drool coming out of your mouth, while your nose bleeds, dreaming of the day Brad Pitt and you join the cast of Entourage is making me laugh.

  24. I know this fuckwit personally.. my opinion is that he is not gay, but a total scumbag

  25. @ Anon 1:23pm...

    You agree that he has had sex with men before don't you? And that being said, he has so he is. That's my opinion anyway, you believe whatever you want. It changes nothing one way or the other, I am just saying you either are or you aren't. Maybe if he embraced it things would go better for him, then again, maybe not.

  26. @Mack Truck

    True, true. Simply being gay, or latently gay, or confused as hell...doesn't give one any dress sense. An old teeshirt under a pinstripe suit jacket...that is basically the 'homeless' look. Trend setter? More like economic down-turn *trend follower*.

    I'm female too. I wouldn't even watch The Notebook. I also didn't watch Titanic. I don't like overtly emotionally manipulative writing. I thought about that when he said it as well...WHY are you watching that movie??? There are few excuses.

    @ anon 9:16 and 1:23?
    To say he is gay or latently gay wouldn't keep him from being a "borderline rapist looser nutjob fuckwit scumbag" Rape is about power, control and sadism. With the degree he hates women, I wouldn't feel safe around him no matter what his innermost gender leanings are. He also may blame women for being gay. I am not actually saying he IS gay, just that it is possible to be dangerous to women and deep down wanting men, at the same time. His constant excuses, really really lame excuses, for not having sex with vaginas (really, what straight guy puts it that way?)...what is your take on that?

    @EG, ROFLMAO! (why say 8 words when you can use an indecipherable acronym? That is the American way.)

  27. Wait a minute @Kudos, what? When? I missed that.

  28. @Radda x 2
    His "Oldschool mate" outed him a little while back and there are rumors that he hooked up with some dude who's name alludes me but is in the players list or whatever the fuck he calls it on his site.

  29. Listen, I wasn't there, but I believe that was a cousin or someone who knew him very well that told his story. It included reference to experimenting with men. I felt bad for a while, and then I realized that the janitor was the victim. That's why I came back. Either way, when you look at his overall behavior, his past and the fact that he doesn't do anything to disprove it...he's gay. No big thing, so what, but his lack of respect for 'vagina's' begs for critique.

  30. @JBone, thanks for replying. It was news to me and pulled me up a bit. How did I miss that? Must have been one of those times I got bored and went away for a few weeks, or else it was one of those times an his post was absurd enough to put my brain into autopilot while I was reading the comments. I think I see who you mean on legowig's players list.

    Happy New Year's everyone!!

  31. @Kudos, THAT is where the janitor is the victim thing was coming from? I didn't get it being referenced so often.

  32. Re: #8...His exit strategy has to be to work at the salon. The only other viable career path would be to claim "born again" and pray for a forgiving soul to believe his bullshit

  33. That is a coincidence - I watched 'The Notebook' last night - downloaded it for free using my U Torrent - a devilishly good invention. I watch all the latest and not latest films totally free and in the process deprive the filthy rich film community of money. I even watch some films twice, just to deprive them of twice the money.
    Anyway, The Notebook, yes, contrived like fuck to pull on the old heart strings, but being a cynical git I was ahead of the game and constantly shouted CUNTFUCK at the screen at the more mawkish scenes - the ones with the director's mum and James Garner, RIP Rockford.
    I didn't find it emotional at all, I am a man's man I am, if it wasn't for having a bad cold my nose and eyes wouldn't have run either, which may have given the appearance I was crying but I can tell you, at the bit at the end where the old giffers died and their entwined souls lifted up to heaven, I'd saved up a huge fart and that's the moment I let it out. That's how much I wasn't affected....my expulsion of rectal gas literally drowned out the soppy music. Can anyone beat that?

  34. # whatever) STOP ADDING "KADE" TO EVERY GOD DAMNED WORD YOU WRITE. Also, fuck you Arthur. We know you read this.

  35. @ Anon 3:23
    Holy fucking shit, I think you're right.

  36. @Anon 6:04

    It has gotten even more serious than him just talking about himself by his own name, now he talks about himself as if he was observing from afar:

    **1)The Philly 9.65 who said to Arthur Kade "Do you really think that I am going to sleep with ""Arthur Kade"" the first night I meet him?" and his response was "Is that a rhetorical question?"(Can someone else refer to Arthur Kade in the third person besides The Brand, or is this some sort of violation of the laws Kadeiverse.) "Kade Style" domination.**

    I won't even go into that statement itself, but it isn't even HIS response to the girl, it is Kade's response. Has anyone watched a mind melt down before?