10/27/09

What Should I Do For Halloween?


Michael Jordan. Cock Gobbler should definitely go out dressed as Michael Jordan for Halloween this year. He should then find a very "rough" area of Philly and swing by to say, "Hi!" to all his fans in that community and maybe bring them a little joy. 

So, what else do we have in this post? Well, believe it or not we have some more delusions about him partying with a famous woman. This time it's Audrina Partridge. What I don't get is that he's debating partying with her in A.C. or staying in Philly and hanging out with the same people he hangs with all week long. So, really, what we have, is him setting up his excuse as to why he wasn't partying with Audrina Partridge.

I do think this statement has to be his most ridiculous of all time: "...I often compare my career path to the heights of my favorite actor, Bobby DeNiro..." Uh, Arthur, you do realize he was in movies at a younger age AND in "Mean Streets" at 30 and The Godfather at 31, right? Your career path couldn't be further from De Niro's if you had decided to become a farmer.

Man, my head is going to explode. Anyway, more stupid pictures, another creepy video appearance by Noseferatu and Natasha Fatale, a video where Cock Gobbler looks at food and says, "this is called food, folks." and a very special picture of the Puppet Master herself, G.N. Kang. More moronic stupidity from two legged ipecac, Arthur Kadyshes... 

The biggest question being asked in the city right now is where is Arthur Kade going to be partying for Halloween and what is he dressing up as (It’s funny that Philadelphia Magazine ranked me as one of the top 3 costumes to where in the city this year along with Andy Reid and Vince Fumo), and I wish I had an amazing answer to both of those questions, but I don’t yet. Right now, I am on the fence between heading over to Dusk and giving a Brand appearance where I will be at the celebrity table with “The Hills” star Audrina Patridge (One friend asked me to rate her today, and I said, “Sometimes she looks like a KA 8.5 and sometimes she looks like a 7.5, but when I hung with Kristin she surprised me that she was prettier than I expected so it would be interesting to see”), and can probably talk to her about my show that is in development, and her people may ask my team if I want to do a spot on “The Hills” since I have such a HUGE Fan Base in KA, and would probably increase ratings for the show this season. I know Dusk will be out of control, and with me and Audrina leading the Kade Brigade, we could make it a celebrity party for the ages.
My other option, is all my friends, and The Entourage are heading to a blow out party at Public House, then Recess, then Z Bar, and although I am so “Phillied” out right now (The City not the team), last year’s Halloween party was the most fun night of the year, and it ended with me in bed with a Philly 9, so I can’t really complain. I am also debating what I am going to go dressed as, and here is what I am thinking right now, but would love the feedback of Kade Nation on both questions. Here are my thoughts, and tell me what you think or if you have some other great ideas:
Arthur Kade: This will probably be the hottest and edgiest costume of the year in Philadelphia, and it won’t require any dressing up, but it lacks originality on my part, and will probably be so overdone that I won’t be the fashion trendsetter that I always am for The Gen Pop. As Philly Mag suggested, I could also have my usual girl entourage with Kade ratings on their shirts and a killer new Fedora. This will work well for Audrina since Kristin probably told her about meeting me already.
Michael Jordan: I will paint myself really dark brown so that it looks authentic, wear a black cap so it looks like his bald head, and will wear a vintage Jordan outfit. Since I have been compared to him so many times, and I was a tremendous collegiate level player in my day, it would be fun to pay homage to MJ, but will it potentially hurt my ability to land a 9 or 10 because people won’t recognize that it’s me.
Superman: I already look a lot like him because of my body shape, hair color, and Greek/Italian appearance, so it would be funny to see The Brand dress up as The Man Of Steel. This is a dark horse right now because it seems to ordinary for Arthur Kade, but I would do something special for the crowd since all eyes will be on me like Britney Spears in Circus to make the Gen Pop go “Oh My God!!”.
Jesus Christ: This one would be interesting because of the obvious coincidences between “The Journey” and his life that I have pointed out in past blogs, and I could really spice him up to be really funky for a 21st century Jesus. I can’t grow facial hair well, because I grow a beard with holes in it, but with my acting abilities I could memorize scripture lines and recite them to Audrina at our table if I end up at Dusk
Bobby DeNiro/Jake LaMotta: this would be a blast since I often compare my career path to the heights of my favorite actor, Bobby DeNiro, and Raging Bull is one of my favorite all time movies, but I don’t want to be shirtless in the cold, and my abs are not where they need to be right now. I think that this could be great as tabloid fodder because shots of me without my shirt on would definitely show up on Gawker like they did this time (http://gawker.com/5313741/which-phone-is-suitable-for-arthur-kade) but if I am with Audrina and not at Public House then we will end up on Celebrity sites like The Insider and USA Today like I did with Kristin Cavillari anyway.
“Arthur Kade is the Christopher Columbus of “”The Biz”", and Little Oscar/The Pulitzer is his America”…Arthur Kade…10/27/09





36 comments:

  1. What the hell is with Kade's hair? All that work he has done on it but it always looks like messy shit. Too long, flat here, bent there. Hat head. Headband head. Ack. Fix it. It drives me nuts. I want to pull it.

    Love the pumpkin legowig!

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  2. Pup pup's boss

    . Arthur, you should be a "samoyed" named pup pup for Halloween. He has rancid breath( from eating cat shit as a puppy), smells like "shit," because he is constantly "corkscrewing" all types of feces. His hair is knappy and is different colors but no one knows why. Everyone loves him till they get close and smell the smell and they quickly flee. Just like you.

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  3. He is really desperate now. Before this would have elicited a huge damning response, but he is so obviously jerking our chains that it comes across as trying too hard. 15 minutes, over.

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  4. OK lack of privacy shades would be a deal breaker, nice save. You might still hear from Leonard.

    About the toon…you’re such a tease. Parturd Actnot might take it wrong (and many suspect he does)

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  5. awww pup pup !! LOL ! The Breath could curl dried paint !!! Much like AK's ....



    Crappy

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  6. NASA is fucking the dog ................ Launch that 400+ million $$ test !!!!

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  7. ALL,

    EVEN I CAN'T BELIEVE MY WORTHLESS WASTE OF CUMB SON IS REALLY THAT FUCKTARDED. IT'D BE AGAINST THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. HE'S TAKING THE PISS. THE THING THAT ANNOYS ME TO NO END IS THAT HE MAKES ME LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE IN THE PROCESS. BUT AS YOU CAN SEE I WAS TRYING IN MY OWN SUBTLE WAY TO LET HIM KNOW THAT HE'S A PIECE OF SHIT FAILURE. I WISH I WAS A YOUNGER MAN AND THEN I'D STAND UP TO HIM AND KICK HIS ASS SO BAD HE'D WISH I'D ABORTED HIM. ANYWAYS I HAVE TO HOPE THAT THIS WILL ALL END WITH A BANG, NOT A WHIMPER. I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF MY WORTHLESS FAILURE SON NOT IN THE ASYLUM OR THE GRAVE SOON.

    SINCERELY

    ARTHUR'S DAD.

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  8. There's only one thing that he's really qualified to be for Halloween: a doorknob.

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  9. God, I thought I was a cunt. This Arthur Kade guy? BARRFFFFFFF

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  10. Acne Actornot looks like he’s at the end of his ride. The fantasy book deal is just an excuse to explain why he’s not even auditioning any more…”I’m a best selling author and I’m busy writing my #1 book”

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  11. some costume ideas for artshitzOctober 27, 2009 at 7:23 AM

    1. aborted fetus
    2. hobo
    3. working actor
    4. MICHAEL JORDAN WITH BLACKFACE

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  12. some more costume ideas for artshitzOctober 27, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    5. Gordon Gekko
    6. That dude from Entourage
    7. Vincent Vaughn
    8. Trent da Vinci
    9. Kween Elizabeth
    A. Albert Einstein
    B. Adolf Hitler
    C. Nosferatu

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  13. @ Kudo's
    I am actually going to a party as Count Chocula on Saturday.

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  14. Anyone else notice that this idiot says, "I have to do some authoring." He doesn't even get that authors WRITE. As if nobody has said it before, he's a fucking IDIOT.

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  15. Zombie Kade, checking in:

    Funny how turdnose's own father is mocking him on that video- calls him ANAL. Henceforth, I shall be calling our favorite blob of excrement Anal.

    "top 3 costumes to where"-

    that's "wear", Anal. Yeah you're all over that Pulitzer, you fucking subliterate chimp.

    "Her people may ask my team"-

    Your "team"? The busboy at Cosi's and a dishwasher at Rouge do not comprise a team, Anal. Unless you mean all your other friends that ride on the special short bus with you, you have no team, Anal.

    "Since I have a HUGE fan base in KA"-

    Says the jackass who once said the completely laughable phrase "Shit, she disappeared" while dominating (HAH!) at a second rate club in Los Angeles. You are a fucking delusional loser, Anal.

    "We could make it a celebrity party for the ages"-

    With one sort of celebrity from a mind numbing show for droolers (like you) and a mulch faced bag of donkey dung? I don't think so, Anal.

    "I was a tremendous collegiate level player"-

    Really. Then doubtless you have plenty of photos of you in tremendous action. Go ahead and post those, Anal. You can post those with clips of your paid acting jobs, as well as photos of you riding a unicorn up the rainbow bridge to candyland. You're a fucking slobbery liar, you ass munching dunce.

    Why don't you go as a murder victim, Anal?

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  16. Arthur, you can disprove those of us who are convinced you are a liar about playing college basketball. Just show us some team pictures, a roster, anything. ANYTHING that puts you at a time and place where you were on the court during a competitive NCAA game. If you were so great you've got to have some record of it.

    PUT UP OR SHUT ABOUT ABOUT BEING A COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER. Just another one of your lies that you can never prove.

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  17. You lie about not reading the comments Artie.

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  18. Artshitz thinks he could go as Jesus? A 'spiced up, funky' Jesus at that, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.

    Gawwwd, the delusion is strong with this one!

    Artshitz, little KIDS can memorize scripture. It's quoting the correct scripture at the proper time that you'll have problems with, you dickfaced weasel.

    Please don't try to go as Superman. You shame the memory of Christopher Reeve for even THINKING about it.

    Go as Supershitman, or a homeless, coked out couch surfer. Oh wait, that's who you actually are, so that won't work as a costume.

    You're getting boring, Artshitz. Your little dancing monkey routine is starting to become stale.

    For you, that's REALLY the beginning of the end, since your 'haters' are the only ones who pay attention to your sad little life. Yawn.

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  19. "my abs are not where they need to be right now"

    In other words, "I never reached my goal of ripping down by Labor Day like I said I would. I always tell people that I do everything at such an epic level and that I always reach my goals, but it's a lie because I rarely ever do. As far as my abs, I've not had any this entire year that can be seen by anyone, because my diet is poor, my sleeping habits are poor, and I'm running myself ragged pretending that it's a strength of mine that I don't sleep much. Oh, and you also can't see my abs because all I focus on in the gym are my shoulders, which I think look enormous, but they're actually just average."

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  20. With a comment like this I hope "Carl" makes it over here...

    # Carl on 27 Oct 2009 at 11:49 am
    Your dad looks like Boy George post Culture Club.

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  21. ARTHUR,

    I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I REALLY DON'T LOOK AT YOUR BLOB MUCH ANYMORE. IT'S TOO BORING. I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR HORSESHIT ENOUGH AS IT IS. INSTEAD I USUALLY COME HERE TO SEE YOUR FUCKTARDATION AND WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU ((AND ME)). AT LEAST HERE I KNOW I'M AMONG PEOPLE WHO WANT THE SAME THING THAT I DO: YOU, IN AN ASYLUM OR A GRAVE. FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMNED WORTHLESS WASTE OF CUMB FAILURE.

    SINCERELY

    YOUR DAD.

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  22. We seriously need to push for Michael Jordan. He only sees what he wants to see, so if we all comment under fake-fan names he might actually do it.

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  23. I'm just here for the comments at this point and wanted to say you all are the most creative internet bunch I've had the pleasure of finding!

    Arty Farty, if you've done ONE good thing, it's bringing this group together. Otherwise, fuck off, you suck and you're ugly.

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  24. @Barn Bitch...

    If you'd like to see my direct attacks on Arturd, please click my name for my Twitter. I only have a Twitter account to abuse him so you won't have to search for my attacks.

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  25. AKZList,

    We love what you write to him, so much in fact that we added a live stream to your twitter over there in the right column. Keep up the good work!

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  26. Yo, AKZlist- have set up my tweet account (Zombiekade) but I can't figure out how to spew venom in anal mulchbag's face to the point where he can have one of his nontourage read it to him.

    Any pointers?

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  27. please nominate him as he clearly needs the help.

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  28. Who the hell is Aurdina Partige? Seriously....is she famous?

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  29. zombiekade,follow AK and AkZlist AND click the mobile device alert ON for both .when AK tweets Z responds promptly and you get the entire exchange as a text sent to your phone.you can jump on the pile w/ Z 1 minute after AK tweets. make sure you follow back.meow.mel

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  30. Oh, and $100 says this pussy won't dress up as anything and just go as "himself." I doubt he can afford any of the accoutrement, like an $8 bald wig.

    Fucking moron.

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  31. I'm glad Arthur took some time from his busy "work" schedule to give us a public service announcement about colonoscopies. Arthur, you should start a brown ribbon campaign in KA. Especially amazing was Dad's response to Arturd's on-camera antics. You could tell that being on camera with Arturd was even more uncomfortable then the aforementioned colonoscopy.

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  32. His dad looks like something a spacecraft crew would discover ruling another planet in a sci-fi movie.

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  33. Alice the Goon:

    anal: I want my "mug" back.

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  34. Wow!

    My Tweets coming here also is pretty sweet. Glad you guys enjoy them. As stupid as I think Twitter is, I do love knowing he reads every horrible word I write to him.

    @Zombie... I have no idea, but it seems like Melanie above might have a clue. Try that.

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