Appearance Requests

I have to believe that Cock Gobbler is sitting in front of a fireplace somewhere waiting for Santa because with his level of delusion NOTHING is too far out there for him to believe. It's really amazing that not one friend or family member hasn't had him involuntarily committed to a mental institution. The things he thinks he will be able to command in 2010 is so far out there that I don't even know where to begin. I've worked with big name stars with YEARS of proven box office draw that don't have contract riders close to what this dip shit thinks he'll be able to get WITHOUT EVER HAVING BEEN IN ANYTHING where he's more than an EXTRA. I'm no head shrinker, but I have to believe he has broken from reality so badly that there is no return to normalcy. We all knew that because he'll never get hired once HR does a Google search, but now I am convinced the only way he'll be able to end this is in a huge fucking explosion. I hope he only hurts himself when he finally does lose it, but I'm not confident it won't end in murder(s)/suicide. People of Philly, watch your backs. Now, some of the most deluded ramblings Arthur Kadyshes has ever posted...

Being a celebrity and rising name in “The Biz” after only 9.2334 months into “The Journey” (I start my fight Training for My “Warrior Role” in a the feature film I am filming in January, and have a HUGE audition for a principal role in a feature film both on Sunday), Arthur Kade is now a brand name that is being asked to appear at various events, spectacles, and parties, and with “The Year Of The Brand” quickly approaching (I was telling one of the girls at the TITS “Wifey” search (The event was great with an ultra “Kade Style” high energy DJ playing music the whole day, the staff was bringing girls over to meet me and try out to become the next “Wifey”, and it honestly felt like an awesome night club during the day, and I can’t wait to see how the pics come out of the girls we end up selecting for TITS) that I guest appeared and started judging today, and which I will be hanging out with Porn Star Courtney Cumzz at tomorrow (I will make sure to take a bunch of pics and vids because she is one of the biggest Porn Stars in the world, and it will be an edgy change from the Hollywood “A-Listers” I usually chill with), that “In 2010, Arthur Kade will be the biggest name in Hollywood, and possibly the biggest name in the world”, and all she could do was smile and be going nuts inside that on a day when she thought she was just entering a normal store, she met an enormous budding KA star), as I was driving home to the 215 from NYC, I was thinking about how celebs like Rihanna, J-LO (Who I just partied at the invitation only VOGUE/Versace party in Kadeami with), and Angie Jolie request certain things when they appear at events, and what will be my requests next year when I am being paid to appear at parties, clubs, movie premieres, charity/social events, and children’s birthdays, and here is what I came up with:
1) 1400 Thread Count Sheets/Silk Pajamas-Having grown up on welfare fighting for blankets to stay warm at night, Arthur Kade has always put a heavy premium on what type of sheets caress his skin at night, and while I don’t always care if I stay in a suite, I do care that I have the finest sheets in the hotel that I am being placed in because I want to be able to relax before delighting the crowd with my presence, and also I love to keep the room extra cold and hide under the sheets because it gives me a sense of feeling like a child all over again. This is also crucial because when The Brand takes a girl or Fan back to the hotel, it is vital that she enjoys her Kadeing by relaxing after in warmth, and this will also make her feel even more euphoria about being with a celeb of Kade’s caliber.
2) White Roses-These are my favorite smelling roses, and I love walking into a room that smells good and fresh because it shows me that the entity paying me to appear cares about The Brand, and is willing to go the extra mile to make me feel at home and comfortable. They can either be in a vase, bowl, or just on the ground (This would be extra erotic when I bring a fellow celeb back or Fan(s) that want a threesome where you just walk around barefoot during and after sex, and just walk on white roses like in a dream), but I want the smell to be overwhelming, and the beauty of the scene would be total “Kade Style” dream like. This will also be a sign that Arthur Kade has risen from poverty to star, and will help me stay grounded as I know that millions are watching me ascend the ladder to Little Oscar on my mantle.
3) Fine Imported Water-Arthur Kade drinks anywhere from 20-25 glasses of water a day, and once I am at the top of “The Biz”, Perrier/Pellegrino is just not good enough for purity, so I will request that my water be flown in privately (This is something Jen Aniston is famous for, so I may have a Rep from Team Kade contact her people in KA, and see what she prefers and maybe even split the cost with her if she wants) from Europe so that I can stay hydrated to combat my Type 2 Diabetes.
4) Private Butler and Chef- When “The Journey” reaches full global epidemic stages next year with my hit TV Show with IMG Media, and my NY Times Bestseller with Trident Media Group, I will prefer that only a select few are allowed to prepare my food or touch my belongings, so Team Kade will do background checks and credit checks to decide who will be allowed to privately cook for me, and clean my rooms and houses. The Brand is one of the most controversial figures in the world already (A Fan compared me to John Lennon this week because of the polarizing nature of “The Modern Actor” that I have created and am ushering in), so like a country’s president, or political figure, I have to know that what I put in my body, and who is around me is safe.
5) BodyGuards-Like the above item, I need to have a team of people watching me and protecting me from rabid fans, stalkers (Already have some now who twitter, call, and email, and it’s only going to get worse in 2010), and especially paparazzi who try to see the latest KA 9 or 10 I close, or what store or restaurant I am in, and although I am a “Celeb Of The People” (I love to give autographs, vids, and pics to Gen Poppers and Kade Nation), safety comes first for The Brand, and if someone’s husband thinks I slept with his overzealous wife, I need people who can protect a multi-million dollar investment like Arthur Kade. My bodyguards will be required to have hand to hand combat training, rifle, gun, and explosive expertise, and have a former background as a professional like Secret Service, FBI, or CIA
“The Brand is Guts, Hustle, and Gangsta’ all wrapped inside of Beauty”…Arthur Kade…12/11/09
and for the first time, I write in quote from a Kade Nation Member:

Hey Arthur. I thought of a great quote you could use for your next post.. Keep killing it, Kade style!!

” Christians worship Jesus, Gen Poppers worship Arthur Kade—-But since gen poppers outnumber Christians 3 to 1, looks like we have a clear winner for the title of “New Messiah”


  1. 1400 thread count sheets is mighty rich coming from someone who sleeps on his dirty laundry, 95% of which consists of tacky-ass TITS shirts and ugly skinny jeans.

  2. Will he take "disappearance requests"?

  3. @hellkell...

    I just realized I had meant to state what you just stated in my intro. Fucking guy sleeps on his dirty laundry and claims he needs 1400 thread count sheets. BULLSHIT!

    White roses have a scent? I was under the impression that roses have been so fucked with to produce a VISUALLY attractive product that they no longer have a scent. Any botanists out there that can tell us if white roses have a scent?

  4. That second to last picture of him is hidious! How can he look at it and think he is good looking? I would guess him to be in his mid 40's from that picture.

  5. To make the youtube videos work, you need to copy the embed code, not the url, from the actual youtube video, and paste that into the HTML view.

  6. how will his body guards stop a sniper?

  7. @Torepedo Pink...

    Thanks for the try, but that's what I've been doing and the embedded code is just coming up as that... no player. I have no idea why and it's making me nuts. I've had no problem embedding his videos here until the last two times I've tried. That's why I'm just posting the links. Any other suggestion?

  8. "Any other suggestion?"

    Yeah. arthurkade.com


  9. @ Anon 10:38am...

    Go fucking kill yourself. The point is to embed the videos here. As you can see I put the YouTube link so that's a way also, but I want the videos to be able to be played right here. Damn you're a moron.

  10. he kept twittering that it was so awesome that he had fans come all they way from west chester to see him at the t-shirt shack in soho....

    how much do you want to bet he's referring to the philly suburb of west chester and he's unaware of the county westchester located DIRECTLY ABOVE the city??.....

    arthur please get out of my city and go back to philly. your nose is taking up too much room....

  11. @LWK...

    What did you do to fix the problem?

  12. This post is Consummate Anal. He really gave himself away awhile back when he wrote about being a dorky kid sitting in his parents' salon filling his head with dreams of what life might be like by reading (I shet you not) USWeekly.

    His ramblings about "when I'm really rich and famous which is totally going to be like really soon" are things that a tween would come up with.

    This is what passes for an interior life with Anal. You can just see him rambling through his laundry-and-pizza-box-strewn but otherwise empty apartment waiting for last night's meth to wear off mumbling about "and I want really really expensive sheets... and roses, only they have to be WHITE roses, and ones that smell really really good... and, like, some really really expensive WATER... and I'll have a butler like Diddy does..."

    Like, is that all you got? That's really the best you can come up with? That's it? Roses and sheets and water?

    There is a profound existential emptiness here that is surely making the ghost of Jean-Paul Sartre sit up and take notice.

  13. Is that dude with the beard one of the Legowiggers putting one over on Artard or an actual "fan"? Either way, judging from those photos and the video, he seems to be way cooler than Artard will ever be. I would even venture a guess that he's a Steven Ward operative sent to spy on Kade and his "Journey to Financial and Emotional Ruin."

    Also, Teefs looks like a pothead high school junior in that pic. And how she can stomach being so close to Artard's acne-riddled face and have him touch her with his slimy hands is beyond comprehension.

  14. @ MC 900 Foot: I'm no botanist, but I thought the same thing about white roses having no smell.

    I can see the conversation between Ms. Aniston's people and Kade's "people" now:

    Art: Uh, yeah, this is Arthur Kade.. I mean Arthur Kade's office. I, I mean we, we would like to know if Jen would like to go halvsies on a case of that hot-ass balls-ass imported water.

    Assistant: Hangs up.

  15. “Your value doesn’t even amount to the juice squeezed from an old whore’s soiled Tampon. Do your keepers a huge favor: do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up your own asshole.”

  16. An Ode To Arthur Kade:

    " "

  17. GN Kang news:


  18. The picture wouldn't be so bad if it didn't show her face!

    Can't she undergo some plastic surgery to fix that mug?

    Nice shot of the breast implant.

  19. Ewwwwwwwww...

    GNK, you're like, what, 32? Don't you realize that you'll be competing against chicks who are 10+ years younger than you?

    Please, stop believing that you'll be young and hot as a career. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED, my dear.

  20. That little hobbit in the pictures is the same tool from the kade fan youtube video posted by the douche on 11/03. Interesting, or are people of Philly really that awesome.

  21. Oh that is just so fucking sad. So either he (are we even sure that it's a he) had one of his buddies pretend to be a fan or he is so fuckin lonley that he became friends with some strange loser he met on the streets. Classy.

  22. His last Twitter shows his location in Mt Laurel NJ. thats the address of the Greyhound Station on Fellowship Rd. Kade Style!

  23. Darlings, you know I despise Ak, but I feel obligated (due to an annoying love of knowledge and truth) to point out that he is right about white roses. Among other things, I grow roses, and as an occasional overachiever, I did a lot of research and reading about roses. Any rosarian would tell you that the palest roses have the most fragrance. White and pale yellow are the best for odor. What is called a 'tea rose' really should smell like an old tea rose, and the most popular roses -- dark red ones -- are virtually odorless. The rose industry is working hard to obtain a true black rose, which would most likely be odorless, but white roses really do have a magical smell.

    I deeply, deeply apologize for siding with Fartie Radishes against y'all on this issue. He's an ass for imagining walking over roses to lie on high thread-count sheets with some imaginary groupie, when the reality is that he lies down on filthy tits t-shirts, walking over garbage, with no one whatsoever. not even a philly 6 is willing to sleep with Fartie.

  24. “Gen Poppers live to climb mountains, cross rivers, build skyscrapers, make millions, while Arthur Kade lives to reach the moon without a spaceship”…Arthur Kade…12/14/09

    Him and ‘the jumping cow’

  25. @Drunken...

    I'm actually glad you cleared that up. I won't tell lies like Cock Gobbler and truly didn't know white roses had a scent. Glad to learn something new. Shit, if Arthur EVER (he won't) gets a role I'll be one of the first to write about it here. I'm betting I never have to write about it though.

  26. “(It was also priceless when one of The Entourage laid into me because we went at it in front of him and he was just so angry and offended)”

    And why was ‘he’ so angry and offended? Because he thought you and he were exclusive. Sounds like it ended all right, with you and he together, and her conveniently missing. Must have been awful for you having to kiss a girl just to make him jealous? Is that why you always pretend you like girls, to make him squirm?

    At least you’ve ‘comeb’ out; closets are for clothes. Well, good luck with ‘that’, and remember…its OK to be gay. It will probably give you a better chance in hollywoody. Keep it lubrikaded!!!

    (next post)