1/6/10

U D S - Some Nonsense About Kade Evolving From An Ugly Childhood

We've not even read this yet, but saw the words "I started working out, modeling, speaking with confidence that no one in the Gen Pop has ever seen before" and completely spit out hot chocolate.


While having an amazingly fun din with my old roommate of 2 years, and one of his friends at The Piazza in No-Libs last night (This is hipster central, and after Arthur Kade’s “Kade Style” domination of their unofficial headquarters, “The Brandbary” (The Barbary) last month, I truly feel like their is a cross-culture respect between Kade Nation and the Hipsters to where they eye me now, and truly understand all that I am accomplishing with “The Biz” and “The Journey”), we were recanting all of the memories that we enjoyed while living together in my old house. We have always shared a symbiotic relationship, because we both have admittedly grew up as “The Ugly Duckling”, and then turned into drop dead gorgeous NYC models who could have any girls we desired, but at the same time we had to deal with the pain and torture of being the best looking, most charming, and most desired man in any room, and this will always bring out The Haters in full effect, and when I cam home, I was sent a picture of what The Brand looked like at 6 years old (Not to seem arrogant, but Arthur Kade was maybe the most handsome and lovable kid I have ever seen, and it is a shame that Papa and Mama Kade didn’t unite to make me a movie or TV Star then because I could have been the original Haley Joel Osment or Dakota Fanning) , and it really got me thinking about how a theory I call U.D.S., or the “Ugly Duckling Syndrome”, and how it affects stars and celebrities like Arthur Kade.
If you look at some of the most famous stars in the world like myself, many of them were very average looking or shy in high school, and then blossomed as time went on, and I can honestly admit that I was very average looking in high school because I was so poor that I wore the same clothes every day, never got haircuts, wore my grandmother’s socks, and bought clothes at discount shops (I was a future superstar living in the Gen Pop world and the Gen Pop let me know it by always making fun of me, snickering when I walked by, and talking about how I would be in the Food Stamp line with all the kids that were bused in), and then I was romantically linked in high school to the prettiest girl in my high school (She was so hot at that time that cars would stop in the middle of the street to check her out, and the Gen Poppers in my school would say, “I can’t believe Arthur landed her, he is the fucking man”, but the truth is that we were just friends), and that’s when it all changed and Arthur Kade went from loser to “King of Kadealot”. The amazing fact of the matter is that all the kids that were considered “Cool” in high school are either married and miserable, in jail, or complete Gen Pop losers.
I started working out, modeling, speaking with confidence that no one in the Gen Pop has ever seen before, and living with an unabated anger to be the best, and the rest is history, and now here is The Brand on the verge of becoming the “Biggest Star in Hollywood”, but the lesson that is to be taken away is that U.D.S. is truly a good thing if utilized correctly. For Arthur Kade, it was that constant pain that prepared me to never care what other people say (Hence, why I almost never read comments on my site, or care what “The Katers” think), and that drive to prove everyone wrong and do the impossible is what made me a “Living Legend” in my old company, and put me on the verge of super-stardom in “The Biz” today. The more the Gen Pop tells Arthur Kade he can’t the more he knows he can. Everybody loves the underdog, and Arthur Kade and “The Journey” are the true definition of people around the world cheering and following someone who would rather die than not achieve the impossible, and it is that passion and desire which has led many to compare me to the Muhammad Ali of my generation.
U.D.S. is also great when it comes to girls, because many girls who are not hot in high school or college would find ways to become more proficient at luring hot guys by developing better oral sex techniques, learning to be better in bed, and release their jealousy of the hot girls by giving gorgeous men like myself a treat to prove their worth. Once those ugly to average girls become hot, they have this insecurity so ingrained in them that now you get the total package of hot girl and great sex, so I have always joked with friends, “Ask her what she looked like in high school so you can see if she was the spoiled prom queen and will be a “”Dead Fish”", or if she grew into herself and will be the “”Hungry Lion”"”. That is the knowledge that makes Arthur Kade a god of opposite sex brilliance.
The next month or two has so many surprises in store for Kade Nation that I can hardly stop from getting an erection in Kade’s Corner, and my arrival to Sundance will be the stuff where legends are made.
“Growing up In poverty wasn’t a disadvantage, it was Arthur Kade’s winning lottery ticket to brilliance and orgasm”…Arthur Kade…01/06/09
Here is the level of transformation that occurred in The Brand from childhood to high school to Rising Celebrity in KA:


67 comments:

  1. Calling himself the "Muhammad Ali of his generation" is very worthy of an ass kicking. Let's see how he compares himself then to a boxing legend.

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  2. He also compared himself to Dakota Fanning which is pretty funny.

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  3. Hmm, so how come Michael Cera (and yeah, people have said this before, but you totally looked like him) just keeps getting funnier looking and yet he's one of the most talented and successful actors of recent times?

    But yeah, you could have been an ugly Dakota Fanning.

    Wow, Arthur, this is the first post of yours I have actually kinda read in months. Hilarious! Yet samey! So you don't read the comments? Must make it hard when you're copying and pasting our comments on to your site...

    PS You're fat.

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  4. Oh yeah, and I'm sick of your fucking malapropisms. Get a fucking dictionary, dipshit.

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  5. The Loohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUnxJd6mO8oJanuary 6, 2010 at 4:52 PM

    I was cluster fucked today by Spongebob, Ardvargk and grandma... I found this gem and it reminds me of the douche of honor. Pretty funny! Click my name.

    :)

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  6. Oh fuck,

    I have the dumb.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUnxJd6mO8o

    Try that...

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  7. Zombie kade here...

    This last post is written so fucking poorly I have to wonder if teefs didn't ghost write it. Then again, artoad is a fucking brain dead chimp so it just as easily could have been him that puked up this demented hurl.

    Anyway:
    "While having an amazingly fun din with my old roommate of 2 years..."

    Wait, your old roommate is 2 years old? You're creepier and creepier every post, shitloaf.

    "I truly feel like their is a cross-culture respect..."

    Idiot. The word is "there", not "their". Also, "cross-cultural", not "cross-culture". You are a subliterate chimp.

    "we were recanting..."

    Wrong wrong wrong, dumbshit. The word is either "recounting" or "decanting", not "recanting". And "decanting" makes no sense in this context. Yeah, you're going to be a writer...uh huh.

    "...both have admittedly grew up as the ugly duckling..."

    You fucking imbecile. Either drop the "have" or change "grew" to "grown" in the above. You can't write beyond a 7th grade level, dumbshit.

    "..and when I cam home...."

    Idiot.

    "and it really got me thinking about a theory I call U.D.S...."

    That is so weird- the subliterate hoots, grunts, and clicks in the latest spitup you hurled on to your blob made ME think of a theory I also call U.D.S.

    You are a perfect example of this theory, anal- the theory of the Universally Disgusting Shitloaf. Said specimens are foul mules best left in stairwell crawlspaces or abandoned root cellars, and possess no talent whatsoever outside of annoying the hell out of normal and decent people.

    "...and that's when it all changed and Anal Shitloaf went from loser to Kween of Kadealot."

    Coincidentally, this is the same time that anal's child shrink started prescribing hallucinogenics and anti-depressants in large amounts.

    "and living with an unabated anger to be the best..."

    Not to mention an unbridled fury to write incomprehensibly.

    "Everybody loves the underdog..."

    You being the exception that proves the rule, Anal.

    "Arthur Kade and "the Uriney" are the true definition of people cheering and following someone who would rather die than not achieve the impossible..."

    Wow, so much insanity in such a short passage. Yes, there are upwards of six dozen people following you on a semi-regular basis. But you misunderstand us or can't comprehend what you're reading for shit- WE WANT YOU TO DIE, ASSWIPE.

    We KNOW that what you are attempting is impossible- even people with staggering amounts of acting talent (the opposite of you, in other words) and/or people that are better looking than you (which is roughly 93% of the populace, but still) have only the slimmest of chances of making it in the acting world.

    You are an ugly, demented, coke fiending, talentless, brokeass, aging lamebrain with absolutely NO chance at all of making it in the acting or writing professions.

    So go ahead and die already.

    "...which has led many to compare me to the Muhammad Ali of my generation..."

    First who are these "many"? Second, who is the Muhammad Ali of your over 30 generation that you are compared to? What a dipshit- you can't even be an arrogant asshole correctly.

    Lose, lose, lose.

    Go die, UDS.

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  8. still laughing at artieJanuary 6, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    "Universally Disgusting Shitloaf!"

    hahahaha!

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  9. Ew!!! Poor Michael Cera. He looks exactly the way Kade did as a teenager. Thank God I won't have to see as much Kade as I do Cera.

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  10. I can't decide which is funnier--Artoad's use of "recant" or his claim that he doesn't read the comments. Both speak to a deep, deep retardation.

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  11. Where is the video of the 255 pound bench press? You're turning down an easy $500 then, cornholer?

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  12. Damnit...

    Now you've all ruined my fondness for Michael Cera. I had no idea who you were talking about, so I Bing'd... to my dismay my lower lip popped out and I am now sad. The sweet innocence of Juno has been duped.

    fercrissakes...

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  13. That poor fourteen year old Arthur - he must be looking across at old thirty year old turdy and thinking .... 'what a cunt you've turned me into, thanks for fuck all you illiterate cock'.

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  14. Hold on there Lucy Lisperine, didn't "The Journey" <(retard) start with you couch surfing so you would know what it was like to be poor? You were only living that way to 'hone your craft' and learn what it was like because you had been living the good life? That shit oozing out of your skin is liar gravy.

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  15. And do something about those nipples...they ain't right.

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  16. "...but Arthur Kade was maybe the most handsome and lovable kid I have ever seen,"

    Certainly the janitor that molested him at school thought so.

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  17. @ Kudos

    Sorry, sort of, for bringing the nipple problem to your attention. I am HAPPY to no longer be alone though. I am sorry for pushing it on Kade's site. I want him to question himself.

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  18. Something went wonky there. Radda Radda claims all responsibility for making Kudos notice Kade's misplaced nips. I needed some company.

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  19. Legowig Detective Agency needs to explore this idea of the 17 year old being in Recess Lounge as an underage customer

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  20. What's going on at the main site? The posts have become even more incoherent.

    Thank goodness for the Wig! We know what the mission of this site is!

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  21. Its all The Loo and The Blonde. Johnny-come-lately cubicle dwellers that would rather post their inane chatter on Arthur's site than just lean over the fucking divider. The good days are gone. I stopped posting months ago. I lurk, but really, all the wit of the regulars from last summer is gone, replaced with 6 paragraph sex tips and discussions in spanglish about what they had for lunch.

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  22. You're wrong on all accounts Hooligan.

    Except maybe that you lurk.

    :)

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  23. The hamburglar's pajamasJanuary 7, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    The Blonde is kinda boring and annoying.
    She's bornnoying.

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  24. WTF is up with Artoad's love of anger? "I live angry."

    That's fabulous, Artoad. Between that and all the coke and redbulls, you'll drop dead that much quicker.

    What a sad way to live.

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  25. "ArthurKade: Time 4 speech therapy. Welcome 2 kadealot domination"



    yes Arthur, having to go to speech therapy to fix your DEFECT is certainly an example of "domination"



    stupid stupid lisping cunt

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  26. Zombie here....

    hamburglar pjs, hooligan-

    c'mon, Daaaaaaaah Blonde is one of my fave-o-rites!!! (say that like Jimmy Walker on "good times").

    Let's not forget her aces work on the 3 hundy by Sunday project, and the full court press beatdown style she employs on reality byteswang whenever he opens his tiny bonesmoker.

    Kudos- outSTANDING work on "liar gravy".

    And arfur- you're still a bag of rancid badger cocks rotting in a dumpster. Die.

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  27. -My ass is so sore-
    20 minutes ago from UberTwitter

    use more astroglide, dipshit.

    -AnastasiaBeaverhousen

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  28. AB, I just went on Twitter and saw that. I laughed so hard!

    - A's CBFF

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  29. So let me put together his last 2 tweets:

    He Goes to Speech Therapy

    Then Complains his as is sore.

    Here goes:

    Arthur speaks out of his ass@

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  30. Even his ass has a lisp.

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  31. thorry about all the flatulenthe, ttthhhththplplththth!

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  32. what a cocksucker that kade is

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  33. What in the motherfuck is a disco nap?

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  34. A disco nap is where artoad jams a mirrored dildo up his ass then passes out for about a half hour...

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  35. The Hamburglar's Pajamas is a gay name. Hooligan you should call up RB cuz he loves to pine about when the site was pure magic, faggots.

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  36. Anybody know how tall Chad B. is?

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  37. how tall is choad boobtang?

    Depends on the phase of the moon, as bizarro elves like choad b. ebb and flow like menses.

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  38. chad boonswang is about 5'3 or 5'4, just from seeing him around. he's roughly the height of my girlfriend, give or take. sorry, i didn't have a tape measure with me to give exact height. so i'm just basing this off seeing him around philly. when people say he's tiny, they don't mean he's 5'8", they mean he is noticeably short

    hope this helps

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  39. Thanks for the reply. Not as short as I thought, but still explains his 'issues' with women. Probably frustrating as hell. Not much he can do about it though and treating women poorly isn't going to help anything.

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  40. Choad Ballswang can get fucked by death himself.

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  41. @ AB 3:56pm...

    I'm still laughing. Funny and helpful...very good.

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  42. he might be even shorter, like a little over 5', i honestly don't exactly know. my guestimate that he was about as tall as my gf. but beyond that, he just appears to be tiny, like a joke, and it seems like that could contribute to what you mention and also his friendship with art

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  43. Proof he reads the blobs... ebb and flow was mentioned on here and then he tweets about it. Also, no new gem from him but enjoyed all the in-fighting nonsense.

    Arthur, you're a loser. Tweet yourself into traffic. Ugly Goonicorn.

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  44. Does Choad Poopstain need a stroller?

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  45. Someone ---- over 'there' was a flaming troll all day. It was hard to tell the shirts from the skins. After the smoke cleared...Lispy the Eunuchcorn was the only one wounded, as usual. Look up unicorn on urban dictionary and you can only wonder which (definition) Brandoh thinks fits him.

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  46. Unicorns and rainbows are def. what non-crazy people talk about. Oh and Goonicorn kicks ass.

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  47. Chad Boonswang..

    it's not just the height that makes him odd.. it's also his weird fucking face.. the guy is a freakshow.. hence why he hangs with kade.. freaky fucks

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  48. @ chad boonswang

    clearly those of you that talk about chad boonswang are all speculating. if you knew him personally you'd know what makes him so uber ridiculous. i had the misfortune of hanging out with that crew for a short while, while i lived in philly, before i met anyone else. they were the first people i met, and after about a week i realized they were the biggest wannabe tools living in just as much of a wannabe city. in any event, chad is not that short. he's probably in the 5'5"-5'8" range. it's his personality that makes people (especially women) run like the wind. he's the most awkward individual on the planet. lies through his teeth (like a 5th grader) to make himself look cool or important. EVERYONE sees right through it. the lies he tells aren't little ones, they're so big you can't miss them. he's the type of guy that introduces a guy friend to a girl and says "this is my friend, joe smith, he's a neurosurgeon." he tries so hard to impress it's sad. girls just laugh, and are like, really? is that part of the introducation, that he's a neurosurgeon? i could go on, but you get the point. trust me, if you spend 5 min with him you realize his height and looks are the least of his problems. chicks and dudes get by that if you're a cool cat. he's anything but
    it just sounds ridiculous when people make such adamant comments about someone and don't even have a clue what they're talking about.

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  49. but know that i think about it, kudos, loo, blonde and the like have been doing that (making such authoritative comments about things they have no first hand experience with or evidence of) since the beginning of time on this and arthur's blob

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  50. i meant now, not know

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  51. Um, Anon 10:49...

    we only go off of what we read and then have fun with it. We don't know Ardvargk (Blonde and I). We stumbled upon him through a friend and HCWDB. Whenever the beginning of time on this and Arthur's blob is, I have no idea. 10.93485 months ago? We've only just been around these parts about 3 - 4 months. Sorry you're so bitter about being stung by the Kadebang Krew. Thanks for the insight, though. Sounds like a Requiem Nightmare to me. We would have never let it get that far (Your week). One half-hour woulda been more than enough for us to bounce. (Come to think of it, we wouldn't have given any of them the time of day!) I don't make authorative comments about any thing. I'm not a control freak like that. I know what I say and say what I know. Skip over our names if you wish. First Amendment and all... Cheers!

    P.S. I knew (new) what you meant. We're purdy smart over here on the left coast. (Bragging, oops! Sorry...)

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  52. Chad Boonswang..

    the above poster is absolutely correct.. he is not terribly short likely 5'5".. michael J Fox height..
    but that is EXACTLY what he does "this is my pal blah blah he has this, or is this"

    he's just a TOTAL fucking TOOL.. he is polite to me and my friends.. but we despise the fucker.. as do other people.. politeness is the only reason he goes out without getting slapped. Same with AK

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  53. Yes Loo, it's obvious you're neither a control freak or authoritative, the way you dissected every word of my comment and you attack anyone whoever posts a reference to you or something that is disagreeable to you. you and your sidekicks have all but tried to take over every aspect of these blogs, but you're very right, you're not a control freak. keep telling yourself that. if you say it enough times in the mirror you'll believe it i'm sure. you need to check yourself. You're outta your f'in mind(s) (you and your crew). I'm sure you'll be back in 10 seconds to damage control this comment. Why don't you consider taking the weekend off? wow, i just realized i sound a bit like that realitybytes guy. maybe i am him, but just posted anonymously...

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  54. Lets see 5'-5'8"? Even 5'5"-5'8" is a huge difference. So much for your 'proper' info. Besides, how f'ing stupid are you to get lured in so easily? Control freak? My attempts at humor may be weak, but I haven't tried to control anything. I get under your skin cause you make it easy. Instead of coming back with something witty it's always "now say something back, bully". Man up little one. I may not know 'first hand' what you claim to but I sure can trick fuck your stupid ass. If I'm so nobody why do you care? Go suck Lispys dick if you're so concerned.

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  55. And it 'bites' dumb ass. It's not spelled with a 'Y' you idiot.


    Now lets see how smart you are, dum ass cumb stain

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  56. LOL,
    kudos, you whiny bitch.
    i've never observed such latent homosexual tendencies with all your references to sucking arthur's dick. clearly this is your subconscious desire, or you're a little troll of a man who has nothing but his pen as his sword.

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  57. oh, and just when i thought you were an intelligent person, a dipshit, but intelligent, you go and pull that whole "i" not "y" bit. that rationale behind that was already explained to you, beatch

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  58. go spend your saturday night in, watching TV with a bag of potato chips coming up with one of your poems or songs.
    i'll be out partyin with the babies in NYC, you fruitcake

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  59. Hey tough guy! Anonandonandon...

    Sounds like realitybiytes is the one who'll be chokin on a potato chip in from of the tele.

    "i'll be out partyin with the babies in NYC".

    Who gives a flying piss you feltching zipperhead?

    PISS OFF.

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  60. You are so easy. And I've never claimed that I'm not a homo. Of course neither have you or lispy. And you got it wrong again...it's lispys 'little' dick. But you knew that cause ub smart.

    Keep going, you're teaching me a lesson. Everybody knows you're right and that I'm bad. I don't think you sound stupid at all. By the way, how many ref's have I made about you sucking dick? I've lost track.

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  61. Funny how my question "How tall is..." worked so well. I wasn't sure about the 'short guy complex' but it's true. I don't care about your height, but I knew you do. And the i and y? Once again, you're easy. You don't like me cause I pull your covers constantly. I don't like you cause you're a hypocrite, constantly. And you're a bottom feeder. You do have a problem with i and y though, 'babies'. You don't want my undivided attention, trust me, but whatever.
    It's your call.

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  62. Kudos, seems like this blog is infected with choad. Can't we bait some mousetraps with bad coke and adobo?

    Choad, you tiny goatboy- go fellate artard or go hoover up some low grade coke and frighten some ugly women.

    The funny and entertaining people here want to make fun of you and your asswipe friend without your tiny peepy squeaking distracting us. And we know you are both unintelligent and a dipshit.

    Piss off, choad.

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  63. Is someone looking into this 17yr old hanging out with Arthur at Philly bars (recess)? If not I think they should. Can he get in trouble for this? Maybe we can just hope to get him banned from the place because of the bad publicity he has brought upon it and exposing the fact that they illegally serve alcohol to minors.

    I hate Art-tard.

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  64. Over the months I have been following Arthur I have developed a strange love for him -
    the strange boy in my dreams
    smiles at me
    the strangest love in my heart for him
    I don't know if he'll come
    I suppose in time
    But I know it's a strange love
    always on my mind
    strange love so divine...........
    ............who wrote that love song?

    Anyway.....what I mean is, I don't want any harm to come to Arthur, as soon as some cock cheese bops him then it's all over - we've lost our moral high ground, our superiority gone, and it wouldn't be fun anymore. Let's face it, he may be a tool but he's not violent - just look at how many violent cunts there are out there harming innocent people - Arthur doesn't do any of that, he's strictly cunt dancing. So, please, don't bop him into next week - following Arthur's cuntery, as contrived as it is, is one of life's pleasures

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  65. Yes EG, you are right, how much do we REALLY want him to go away? I'd have to go back to less entertaining things like actual news.

    On the other hand, your poem to Arthur is interesting. His address is around here somewhere.

    On the other other hand, I have really come to hate the guy, and an epic fail would satisfy us all.

    Decisions, decisions.

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