I think it would be pointless (and a waste of space) to reproduce his "Rope-A-Dope" blog entry here in its entirety, but I will pick out sentences here and there.
"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, and dished out 5 assists, and there were several college coaches watching..."
Lesson for Mr. Alpha Elite celebrity/blogger/author: your sentence would look better, have better structure, and not be such a headache if it looked like this:
"Arthur Kade remembers playing in an AAU game where he dropped 4 treys, dished out 5 assists and was being watched by several college coaches."
Actually, it would look MUCH better if it was like this:
"As a younger Arthur Kadyshes, I can remember (while warming the benches) watching the other basketball players drop treys, dish out assists and receive great comments that several college coaches (who were standing in a group near me) were making about them."
No, that's still not right. HERE'S what it should look like:
THAT’S the A-game authoring that I’m looking forward to reading in your book (that’s probably entitled “My Balls-ass, hot-ass celebrity life living on other people's couches”).
Did no one else see that, despite the length of the first sentence (mainly because of all the 'ands'), there was no 'AMAZING' in it? Zounds! Egads! Golly! The Al Gore of the blogging world is changing it up!
"It is that moment that was the first time Arthur Kade realized that he was a “Soldier”, a person who will fight to the death for a cause that he believes in, a super-human/half-man/half-mammal invention of nature that was born to be a wrecking ball of society, and that is when I made the choice in my head that I will never settle or share the victory with anyone."
Kind of like the soldiers we see in war movies that get all shot up when they're fighting for a cause they believe in? The ones who charge at the enemy, yelling heroically, the look of victory in their eyes….and then they get their torsos pumped full of lead because they were running across an open battlefield like morons? Those soldiers? I should photoshop your face onto the front line of “Operation Human Shield” in “South Park: Bigger, longer and uncut.”
You’re definitely a half mammal, the kind with an oversized snout (yes, yes, I know; an old joke, but still an easy one). You’re also correct when you say that you’re a wrecking ball of society; when people read your tripe, they start destroying whatever’s closest to them because they can’t believe a human being can be such a deluded juggernaut. Plus, you’ll never share the victory with anyone? Does that mean no Oscar speech? People who win Oscars make speeches as part of SHARING THE EXPERIENCE. Foot in mouth – you are the Kween of it.
“…because I look at challenges that are in front of me, and forget the strategy that is sometimes needed to win the war.”
Forget strategy! Just charge at the enemy with that hero-like “YAAAAAAAAH!” battle cry!
“As I was discussing this weekend with Papa Kade this morning…”
PAST morning. PAST. “As I was discussing this PAST weekend with Papa Kade this morning…” is what it should read. I discussed your bad grammar with your mom last night. It was tough to hear her reply because her mouth was constantly being jackhammered.
I wouldn’t doubt there were/are multiple press requests and radio interviews for you to do, because there are so many people out there who simply cannot BELIEVE a moron such as yourself is (a) still alive and (b) so full of himself it might pass for 5-10 minutes of entertainment and help fill dead time slots. Hey, people have to laugh at something, y’know what I mean?
“You know me, and I don’t like to share…”
BULLSHIT! You probably don’t like to share your homosexual tendencies, but sifting through a few pages of your website will provide people with PLENTY of information about you! If you didn’t like to share, you wouldn’t have started a blog with the tagline, “My journey to stardom.”
“…one of my favorite memories is playing at the J.C.C. (Jewish Community Centers for all my Non-Jew Kade Nation members out there) and Papa Kade had just bought me the newest Optimus Prime Transformer that weekend that no one had, and every kid was trying to play with me because they wanted to touch my beautiful huge toy, and one kid told me when I wouldn’t let him play with it, “Go back and play in the dirt where you belong”, and I proceeded to beat him senseless using Optimus Prime as a battering club on his head, getting me suspended from school for 3 days. When Mama Kade came to get me there, the teacher said to her, “I hate to say it, but I’m happy your son did that because someone needed to teach that boy a lesson in manners”.”
Someone should have taught your young, dumb ass a lesson in controlling your temper. What a waste of a good Prime toy. Had you kept that thing in excellent condition, you could have sold it for a lot of money by now on Ebay to help finance the journey, eh?
Kade, if you’re going to be an actor, you HAVE to have a plan B. HAVE TO! Ever since high school, I was told to have a backup plan in case acting didn’t pan out for me. I’m pretty damn sure you were told the same thing at some point in time. Good to hear that you’re ignoring it so we can see you crash and burn one day. Perhaps you’ll turn out like Samuel L. Jackson’s character from “Resurrecting the champ”: one day, some young chump will find your broke, homeless hide wandering the back alleys of Philly, and they’ll ask you a question that will lead to you spewing out your imagined life story of being a great actor back in the day. That young chump may take your word as gospel…until they find out the truth…then it’s back to the burning trash cans with you.
The rest of your post….yeah, we know the drill: lies, exaggeration and fantasy. And I’m sure the Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show was advertised as being “The Balls Ass Black Tie Gala Event at The Opening Of The Philadelphia Car Show.” Oh yeah, that’s exactly what would attract the Gen Pop masses! Nothing brings out the dead like Balls and Ass.
Our lisping hero is debating getting a dog? Why, to fondle the thing’s junk on camera again, or to split a few bags of Pup-Peroni with it? And OH MY GOD, you’re REALLY MOVING TO LOS ANGELES? Kent, free up a couch (or closet or storage space)!
“…and it looks like I was just booked to work on one of the biggest TV Shows in the world on Thursday, and am just waiting for a confirm phone call before I announce it.”
And we shall hold you to that…especially if it doesn’t happen (yeah, like THAT’S ever been the case)! Why don’t you wait until it has been ABSOLUTELY CONFIRMED before EVEN MENTIONING it? You might as well say that you were “pretty much” booked for it, which is bullshit talk for “I think I am, but I don’t know.”
Check out the KadeFail bowling video:
What I would give for someone like Maddox or a group of 4channers to have at 'er with your tripe, Kade. What I would give...