9/23/09

Blue Balls


WOW!  Kade got more "fan" mail from Wales.  Next time he might want to translate the Welsh before he posts.  What an asshole.  More deluded ramblings from the dickbag himself, Arthur Kadyshes...

There are few things more amazingly annoying things in this world than girls who will take you 75-90% of the way to great sex, and then cut you off and say, “I’m not that type of girl” (They always are), “You have to take me to dinner first” (So I can have sex with you on a full stomach?. No thank you.), and my personal favorite, “I just don’t feel right doing this” (But you felt right getting naked and giving me oral sex?), and those are the girls that unless they are a 9 or up with half a brain, they will never get a call back, and sometimes don’t get a hello because I think it’s so cruel to do that to a man. I remember dating a girl in the burbs several years ago who I would hang out with, and she took pride in not letting me dominate her, and one night I actually left her, met another girl on a date, closed that girl like a nice Christmas Gift, and went back to the other girl so drunk and tried to close that as well. I told my self that if I finally got in I was going to obliterate her, but it never happened and that was the last time I tolerated that behavior. As a guy, when you are prepared for domination, than not being able to do it is pure unadulterated hell, and a girl needs to understand that when you have a chance to be taken down by The Brand, then you should email all your friends and brag that you’re doing it.
The same law applies to The Craft as well, and I experienced my first acting blue balls today because I accidentally switched my Commercial Workshop with my Film Workshop in NYC in The KadeBerry, and came up not ready with my Commercial Copy rehearsed figuring it was Thursday, and was mentally prepared to wow the agents with my Jeremy Grey monologue. I had to run to a FedEx to find copy, and by the time I got it all together, I had 30 mins to learn it, perfect, and be free to deliver it “Kade Style” to the agents. It was the type of pressure that I thrive under, and I look at it like taking the last second shot in a basketball game. If you’re built like me, MJ, Kobe , and Larry, then you understand that you don’t get rattled, you just perform, and I definitely gave a solid B+/A- performance under the extreme pressure that would have brought most people to tears. I also learned as you will see by my feedback video, that every agent and casting director sees the audition COMPLETELY different, so that’s a perfect example of different strokes for different folks. Overall, I was disappointed that I got all reared up for one thing, but still finished in the other, but days like this make me understand the extreme level of talent I possess because I did in 30 mins what most Gen Poppers do in a week.
In the meantime, I have been booked for an other radio interview in The South (I will be on Greensboro’s, NC, Number 1 station, Murphy in The Morning, Next Tuesday at 8:20AM), and it really has flattered me the extent that my “Bible Belt” Fans have taken to “The Journey”, and how I connect with a demographic that many other Oscar Winners like Bobby DeNiro and Al Pacino can’t. It is this type of cross culture appeal that has grown the Kade name so quickly in 6.613 months, and why my movies will gross so well, and perhaps make the highest groosing film actor in history (I have to be careful to not sacrifice art for wealth as many actors in KA do). I have also been contacted by people in KA that feel that with an imminent hit TV show being created with IMG Media, and another HUGE Announcement on the way that I am in the process of finalizing and announcing, they want to start the creation of an “I-Phone Kade App” to continue to grow The Brand, and expose me more on the tech side of celeb marketing into every person’s cell phone. I want it to reflect the new logo that I am working on for The Corporation (I will want fan feedback soon), but I wanted it to have the same originality, edginess, and hot looks that Arthur Kade has, so we are initiating discussions.
“”King Arthur”" wasn’t a fairy tale, it was a prophecy. Welcome to Kadealot”…Arthur Kade…09/22/09





It also looks like I now have fans competing for my attention around the world. Another great Email from The Welsh Fans:
Bore da (Good Morning) Arthur!
Cachau bant (Greetings) from Wales!
Should start by apologising for using so much Welsh in my email, I tend to slip back into it when i get excited and I can’t help but get a little excited about Malu Cachu (The Journey)
After seeing the email from one of your Australian fans on your page yesterday, I just had to drop you an email to say that you’re an even bigger 
twp cont (treasure) here in Wales! Its not uncommon now to actually hear people in the streets or the pubs talking about your blog or just your work on screen! Some of the biggest names in Hollywood like Anthony Hopkins, Christian Bale, Catherine Zeta Jones and even Vinnie Jones (X Men 3) have all come out of Wales over the years, so believe me, we take acting seriously over here and we’re only interested in the best!
You’re a big hit with the younger generation especially, there’s even ‘Kade Societies’ at a few Welsh universities now where groups of students who are fans go out on the town every week to “Dos i ffwcio dy hun y cont, Kade” (Roughly translates to “Kill it Kade Style!”) I was talking to my friend the other day and she couldnt believe when i told her some of the stuff you’d done in just 6 (.451?) months, she was like “No way, this guy can’t be for real, thats insane!”
Anyway I just wanted to say keep doing what you’re doing and thanks for letting us all in Wales join in with your Journey to the top of The Biz!

One last thing, might sound kind of silly but I know alot of Americans dont know much about Wales, so just to show some love for all your fans over here, is there any chance in one of your videos you could give us a Welsh-Style shout out and say “The welsh love the journey!” in welsh?
It’s “
llawn cachu ydw I” I know that might sound a bit hard to pronounce sorry, but it goes “Lh-ow-un kak-hoo uh-do e
Thanks again, keep up the work, Kade Out!

37 comments:

  1. Seriously, would any jury convict you for trying to knock some sense into his head?

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  2. Wow, we all called that one. I really want to watch the 3rd video all the way through to hear the rest of what they said, but it literaly looks like some dumped a bucket of canola oil over his face.

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  3. "and one night I actually left her, went out on another date, closed that girl like a nice Christmas Gift...."

    Um, don't you usually, uh, open...Christmas...gifts...? I'm so confused. :-(

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  4. Dear Arthur,

    So let's get this straight:

    You're too retarded to get your appointments straight, even for an audition for major casting directors. That doesn't really bode well for the future and your ability to show up on set. You're not exactly 'killing it', although, if this is 'kade style' (being a fucking retard), then I think we've all had our suspicions confirmed. Far from dominating and progressing like nobody ever has, you've been called out for being mediocre at best, chosen for a theoretical callback (not a role or a job, but a callback) by two out of five random casting directors (that means three never want to see you again because you're not good enough for them on a number of levels). Your resume sucks ass, but you can't just get a better resume like that - you need more work. You cannot get the work you need because you are rubbish. You can talk about half-an-hour to prepare all you want, but you are simply very poor at your chosen skill. You go out partying when you should be preparing and improving your craft and because of this you get your appointments wrong. How dumb do you have to be to do that? Keeping to a schedule is the kind of simple task anyone can do, especially if they want it enough. I bet you'll turn up to the right club on the right night and have the right money for your wrap.

    Also, you sound like a rapist. Women don't want you because you're creepy and unpleasant. You have not managed to have sex for 6.3456789876543 months, and this despite your boasted ability to have sex with some of the hottest women and supermodels in the world (please, just post one name so we can look this supermodel up). You are going through a dry spell because no self-respecting woman wants to sleep with you. You print insulting emails from 'around the world' because you're too stupid to check them out, and by putting these up we know they are THE ONLY ONES. The ONLY supportive emails you get (and there are very few of them) are thinly-veiled insults from people who think you are a giant cock.

    You lie and exaggerate on a constant basis and if IMG want to make a development deal with you, it's only because they understand that people want to laugh at what a sorry-ass cuntwipe you are.

    Everyone hates or pities you. No one find you attractive. You are awful at what you do. lease try to consider all that, then do something different with your pathetic life.

    Mike

    PS: I bet you haven't realised that 'Mike Hunt' may not be my real name.

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  5. Haha here's a bit of translation from a Welsh English onlone translator:

    Malu Cachu - grind shit
    bigger twp cont - big stupid cunt
    Dos i ffwcio dy hun y cont, Kade - The translator didn't know this one
    llawn cachu ydw I - Quite a shit I am being

    Nice work!

    Karen

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  6. 1. "There's a level of disappointment, but also of ecstaticness."

    Ecstaticness" is not a word.

    2. "I love my work."

    You're not working.

    3. "...but days like this make me understand the true talent that I possess because I did in 30 mins what most Gen Poppers do in a week."

    Ahem. Most of us "Gen Poppers" (i.e. respectable, socially well-adjusted people) would have read our schedules correctly and been well-prepared for our balls-ass, hot-ass aud....

    4. Wait! I was under the impression that this was an AUDITION. (And that there would be punch and pie.) This was just a CLASS?!?! Or, more accurately, a workshop?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ZOMGROTFLMAO!!111!

    Let me guess: your "audition" in front of the "top 10 casting directors in New York" is just a workshop as well? One that any "Gen Popper" trying to break into the acting business (but doing so through, you know, actual hard work) can attend?

    Oh, Arthur. Whatever are we going to do with you? You know, besides laughing at you.

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  7. kade you really dominated that one?

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  8. Oh, damn. One last thing, because I forgot it.

    5. Posting pics of the streets of New York, like they're supposed to be impressive, is the very DEFINITION of "bridge and tunnel" "Gen Pop".

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  9. yeah, this HUGE thinkugh that he's attending is merely a workshop!

    this is great great great news in the Arthur Kade Hate community, one more nail



    one that people have to pay for. it's a total scam, like those headshot people who are "looking for young models!" and take photos of any teen and their Mom desperate enough to think that their little baby is a "star"


    fucking exaggerating clueless Arthur

    he may be the worst person in the world. and I haven't even mentioned his totally deplorable comments on women

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  10. As a former New Yorker, this smells to me like something offered by the Learning Center, where you show up, pay your money, and spend ninety minutes learning How To Make Millions In Real Estate or How To Become A Famous Soap Opera Actor or whatever. Don't get me wrong, the Learning Center provides a valuable service in keeping the socially maladapted off the streets. At least for an evening.

    So it's even more hilarious that AK 4.7 somehow managed to fuck up a Learning Center experience.

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  11. I'm Welsh... twp cont is stupid cunt

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  12. Holy. Shit. Artie the mutant zit's skin fucking shines on the last video. Talk about an unhealthy glow. Guess that's what you get when you are the ass cheek zit your rapist daddy couldn't pop. Speaking of Borat, are you gonna give him your "audition" grades for him to post on the fridge?

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  13. By the way, I'll give a hundred bucks to any New Yorker who trips Artzits when he is taping his shitshow videos while walking down the street with his shopping bag luggage like a fucking gypsy. It would be total comedy gold to see his giant shark fin crash into his camera lens.

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  14. B+/A-? Arthur 2 out 5 is 40%. This brings up an interesting point though. Could Arthur’s lies and delusions have numerical value? I present to you the Kade Kurve:

    R + D = AK

    Based on a 100 point scale and if;
    R represents reality
    D represents Arthur’s delusion (49.5%)
    We end up with AK, or Arthur's perception of a situation or comment.

    Using this against Arthur's own Kade Scale and changing it to a 100 point scale as opposed to a 10 point scale; we see that Arthur, a 50, when entered into this equation becomes a 99.5 in his own head.

    50 + 49.5 = 99.5234235234234

    This can be applied to any of his brags or boasts to see the truth. Just take his perception of anything and minus 49.5% and you get the reality of the situation.

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  15. Arthur is it hard to burp when your mouth is full of cum.

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  16. @ Drew- ROFLMAOOO! Leave it to Arthur to fuck THAT up!

    The spit all over his mouth in the last video just makes me NUTS! The mother in my wants to wipe his mouth off with a baby towelette. The woman part of me wouldn't touch that face with a ten-foot pole. The woman part wins!

    So, he would only get 2 out of 5 call backs for a commercial....do I have that correct? So, over half of the "directors" or whatever they are wouldn't let him thru to the actual AUDITION part of a commercial.

    I'm LOL'ing like crazy!

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  17. callmemama, from what i've seen there dont seem to be any decent welsh translators around online, i'm not fluent myself so the email took a little googling to do but here's my translation

    Good MorningArthur!
    Fuck you from Wales!

    Should start by apologising for using so much Welsh in my email, I tend to slip back into it when i get excited and I can’t help but get a little excited about Bullshit
    After seeing the email from one of your Australian fans on your page yesterday, I just had to drop you an email to say that you’re an even bigger stupid cunt here in Wales!

    ... You’re a big hit with the younger generation especially, there’s even ‘Kade Societies’ at a few Welsh universities now where groups of students who are fans go out on the town every week to “Go and fuck yourself, Kade”

    ... is there any chance in one of your videos you could give us a Welsh-Style shout out and say “The welsh love the journey!” in welsh?
    It’s “I am full of shit” I know that might sound a bit hard to pronounce sorry, but it goes “I am fu-ll of sh-it”
    Thanks again, keep up the work, Kade Out!

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  18. Is he trying to be like Tucker Max - only unable to write or get laid? Which makes you pretty much not like Tucker Max at all. Better find a new act to try and follow....that route won't work, shit head.

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  19. I can't stop laughing at how, in the first video, he says he's going for the biggest audition of his life for 10 of the top casting directors in New York, how he's the American Dream, the Global Dream, blah blah blah...

    and in the following video we learn that he simply auditioned for nothing but a hypothetical situation in a workshop for only 5 casting directors, AND he fucked up and didn't actually know what he was going there for and had only 30 minutes to prepare, and was told in the comment cards by one person that he looks 35 - 45, by another person that his acting is forced and doesn't have personality.

    You cannot make stuff like that up people. One of the funniest days ever in this absurd trainwreck.

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  20. @ Mr Vomit

    it's so fucking great. he proves his delusions over and over again. the only thingkugh he leaves out in the string of videos are the end of the day moments where he's crying in a fetal position


    some serious manic behavior going on and it's true, you can follow it by just watching the sequence of videos



    world's biggest fuckup = Arthur Kade

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  21. Anon@8:44 got it right. The welsh email fan just told you how to clearly say "I am full of shit". lulz Your "world-wide fans" clearly love you as much as we do.

    And by the way, you are, if you managed to have any sex, a whore-dog. I despise you. Thank god even drunk girls won't do it with you.

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  22. The other thing that really shows along with the manic insanity are many brief tinges of a temper. We see it when he accosts someone for holding the camera incorrectly, or for not letting him talk. To the people he feels better than, he is quick to show a temper if he is not getting something he wants. He does seem respectful to superiors like Mike Lemon, speech coaches, etc. but he truly looks down on everyone else.

    I would pay to see him snap at someone and lose his temper big time.

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  23. “Knowing that my dad watches “The Journey” and probably thinks “My son is a once in a lifetime talent”…”

    I somehow doubt that this is what his dad ‘probably’ thinks. More likely he wants all this to end as much as everyone else. I can only guess, but I bet Kego has heard all kinds of desperate excuse’s from girls trying to avoid doing the dirty deed with him. I bet the look on their face when they see and smell his pillow is one of terror.

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  24. Let's just clear this up, because it's been bugging me. There are only six original "super" models. They are: Claudia Schiffer, Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss, Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell and Christy Turlington. You have slept with none of them, so stop your ridiculaous boasting about sleeping with supermodels.

    That chick you "kaded" (slipped a roofie to) after your balls/ass appearance as a local guido mode, was like you, a local guido model, and she was called Frank. She had a cock.

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  25. @Kudos...

    What scares them most about his pillow are all the bite marks. That and his nose prints.

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  26. I hate to say this, because I actually really liked this movie, but the lead little cartoon guy from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs kind of looked like Kade. Just with a huge nose starting from his forehead, and some whacky troll hair. Pics in the link.

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  27. From Twitter:
    Walking the streets is becomin so annoying. The stares r crazY http://myloc.me/KiFo

    No, they are staring at something crazy. Looks like getting put in his place has actually made him worse.

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  28. From twitter:
    ''I'm in an empire state of mind''

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  29. Having Kadezilla grunting away on top of you, with what has to look like a side by side double barrel 12-gauge shotgun pointed at your face, would have to be sickening. Him telling you to go get your sister for some three-way action is…beyond my ability to describe. But having him declare that he was put through “unadulterated hell” because a girl wouldn’t be “dominated by the brand” after she had been nice to him, (then realized that she didn’t want his foul smelling, ugly ass, Lego wig, yoo-hoo colored hair, incest is best, I’m a star, you’re a six point three, insane cumb anywhere near her body) is akin to date rape (isn’t it?). Doesn’t matter, GUILTY as charged you sleazy asswipe. I’m not afraid to say it…I would shoot finface if he got near my sister, daughter, any women I know, just from what he’s written on his blog. Kade, you are a sick, crippled bitch who needs to be put out of their misery. I hope someone helps you soon. Fucking disease you are.

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  30. @ everyone…(except fin face)

    I’m cool, he’s just such a pisser.

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  31. Apperently AK 4.7 will be speaking as a panelist for the philly ad club on Oct 14 @ 8:30 am. It is on Social media. Should people complain and have him removed or show up @ $40 a head and heckle the crap out of him, getting it all on film... Choices Choices..... I vote for a beating before he can walk into the building. In all seriousness he has nothing of value for the rest of the people attending, why don't we put out efforts into removing him and let others get their $'s worth.

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  32. "I just don't feel right doing this."
    Holy fuck, that is what a girl says when she comes to and some guy is fondling her breasts and she doesn't know where she is and she's worried if she makes a scene she'll end up down in the pit with the lotion. I'm surprised more people are commenting on how fucking scary this opening is; Kade is one serial killer sonofabitch. His views of women are completely fucked up and there's no way he can ever be taken seriously with this sort of shit floating around the wwInterweb. Thank fuck for Lego Wig because these boys will probably be called in to help with the court case after Kade does what he does (Kade style) and deletes his blog to cover his tracks.
    He said he wanted to obliterate some girl. Man, it's never about sexual pleasure with him, it's about domination, and that's just not cool. And he wonders why he can't get laid.
    Also, why would you brag about 2 out of 5, with some terrible numbers (his head shot is obviously terrible, does anyone know which pic he uses?) and then blame it on 30 mins prep when he said he thrives on pressure. MJ didn't take the ball at the end of his North Carolina game and just jam it into the backboard and send it back to halfway on the rebound, he nailed the shot, he won the game. Kade didn't nail anything, on any level.
    I'm fucking speechless, and whoever the Welsh fan is, take a fucking bow, priceless that he puts that up there. Makes me want to send him another Aussie fan letter with words like drongo and shit in there. Haha.

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  33. Sorry, the link for the event is in the title. FUCK YOU KADE! Seriously. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

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  34. I couldn't put my finger on it before, now I got it, his hair looks like he put his tongue in a light socket. Frizzy shitty mess.

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  35. Anyone hear the Mancow interview?

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  36. Oh my god, what a fucking rapist.

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