10/3/09

Returning The Favor


Holy Christ on a popsicle stick! This fucking asshole is now claiming to be an expert in sexual etiquette. And then you know what he tells a friend? That if he gets a chick off and she doesn't "return the favor" he should jerk off on the chick. That is clASS with a capital A S S. Then he goes back to his delusions about having to watch out for Gold Diggers trying to get their claws into him because he has "The Biz" calling him "Young Hollywood's Next Big Thing." You can't make this shit up. Arthur, I know you're reading this, so do me a favor, produce ANYBODY who is more than a fringe player in "The Biz" who has even SUGGESTED you could do ANYTHING other than stand in the background of a scene between real actors. Oh, and while you're at it give us the name of ONE of "the most beautiful women in the world" you've been with. Shit, give us the name of ANY woman you've been with, just one, even if she's a Philly 3 we'd love to chat with her to see just how fucking terrible a person you really are. No doubt we'd be proven 100% correct in our summation of what a goddamn fucking cunt you are. Fuck, I'm going out and kick some nuns because this fuck faced cunt infuriates me so much. More deluded ramblings from the misogynistic, ugly, cock gobbling, jerkoff known as Arthur Kade...


Being an expert in sexual etiquette can be sometimes be a blessing and sometimes can be an amazing curse. Having been with the most beautiful women in the world, I am able to talk to people about some of their sexual and dating problems (One friend just said, “Arthur, you have an answer for every shitty situation”, and I replied “I have turned don girls who most average Gen Pop guys would slobber over, and then they want me more”), to help guide them through what needs to be done to make their sexual experience a better one filled with joy and orgasm, and sometimes I even sit back and think that even though I am becoming a top master of The Craft, and am changing the future of “The Biz” forever, maybe in a past life Arthur Kade was some type of sex therapist who helped people.  I have even thought about creating a section on the blog where peope can send in questions around dating and sex, and allow me to change their lives for the better and save marriages, “Kade Style”, but I don’t want anything taking away from “The Journey” right now since I am so far ahead of schedule (A had a fan ask me last night, “Will it be disappointing if you win an Emmy before you win an Oscar?”, and I responded, “I want both now because they will make a cute couple on my mantle”).
Whenever I’m out with The Entourage, we are always talking about our sexual experiences and conquests and comparing notes on the many girls who either just put out at will as we seduce them, or the many follies that occur (Our sexual conversations should be written in books because we are all such experts in the field because we are the most desirable men in Philadelphia and possibly New York).  One of the stories that came up recently brought up a great point in sexual etiquette that turned in to a great discussion over dinner.  One of my friends hooked up with a girl who said that she didn’t want to have sex with him but went home with him anyway and as guys when a girl says she won’t have sex with you, but come home, 8 out of 10 times if you’re good in bed you can close.  They did everything but sex (He said he went down on her for 45 minutes), and he got her off several times, and from there the expectation for a guy is “If I got you off, now it’s my turn” (I just had this same situation occur and it pisses you off beyond belief because you expect the girl to want to return the favor without even asking, but instead she pulls up the sheets and goes to sleep, and I almost asked her to leave since she was totally disrespecting me not making me cum).  He told her that it was his turn, and she just got pissed off and left, and at that point his attitude is “Beat it”.
I told him that the best thing to do in that situation is instill your authority by getting revenge and sending a message by masturbating right next to her and then finishing on her to say, “Since you wouldn’t do this, then enjoy this little present”, and another friend who was involved in the conversation said he had done something similar and hit the girl in the eye causing momentary blindness.  Some girls can be so selfish sexually and those are the girls that celebs such as The Brand try to stay away from because you can tell a lot about a girl’s personality by how she is sexually, and if she is a “Dead Fish” or “Non-Returner” in bed, than chances are that she will either suck in life and be miserable, or is a Gold Digger who is not attracted to you and just chasing coin (This is a HUGE problem for me because now that I have the “Dev Deal” with IMG Media, a principal role that’s about to film for a potential pilot, another HUGE announcement coming, and “The Biz” calling me “Young Hollywood’s Next Big Thing”, I have every girl who meets me wanting to get in my pants and lock down America’s future biggest star).
Either way, it’s important to as one of my girlfriend’s (A Philly 9 who knows a lot about dating) put it at ZBar last night, “Try the milk before buying the cow”, and I kept thinking to myself, “How can a girl expect you to take her seriously if she won’t be generous in bed, because it translates to life.
“Some people train their whole life to run a marathon.  Arthur Kade trained his whole life to sail around the world in his 300 Ft. Yacht”…Arthur Kade…10/03/09

23 comments:

  1. Sorry, I can not even comment on this due to the urge to vomit. He is a pig.

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  2. what a disgusting cumb stain Arturd Kade is...

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  3. Let me get this straight...

    Kade and his "entourage" sit around at dinner comparing notes on their sexual exploits.

    And his "entourage" would include the diminutive attorney whose name rhymes with "poon tang" (Everybody whose name rhymes with "poon tang" please put your hands up... Okay, I'm just seeing one), the chef guy who looks like one of those hapless runaways selling his body for drugs on the Santa Cruz piers, possibly Kade's new BFF who looks like Sigmund the Sea Monster (totally dating myself there) but with zombie eyes, and Kade himself.

    Now, being a homo, I'm not exactly up on the predilections of heterosexual women, but would any woman in her right mind--given the choice--even sit next to any of these guys on a city bus little less take him to bed?

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  4. Hey, dunno if my name is coming through, but this is Zombie Kade will Destroy You. MC 900 ft DB invited me over from dipshit's site. If y'all don't mind, would like to post something. Ahem...

    First things first. Kade you spastic soggy block of rotting wood, we grow tired of your constant brain dead yammer about you honing your "craft" - which everyone takes to mean you spanking your "tiny oscar".

    Your pathetic forays into auto-cranking aside, every video example of your "acting" is a jaw dropping display of slobbery, hamfisted ineptitude.

    As a contrast, here's a movie scene that a FOUR YEAR OLD did that completely outclasses you. Sad that a FOUR YEAR OLD can figure out how to deliver a scene better than you, a self proclaimed creator of a "new school" of acting. Watch it and cry slobbery tears, cocksmoker:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CdJTfGiRCI

    Moving along...

    So Artvark the two legged oozing herpes chancre squeezed out some verbal pus today...let's go to the tape, shall we?

    "Arthur you have an answer for every shitty situation"

    You heard that wrong, dickwhistle- what the poor unfortunate soul sitting within droolshot of you said was "kade you are the cause of every shitty situation, every outrage against humanity, and every evil thing in this world today. Die, won't you?"

    "I have turned don girls who most Gen pop guys would slobber over, and then they "want me more")". Also "where peope can send in questions around dating and sex"

    Exactly. Banana boat harpsichord shoeshine, stovepipe handclapping popcorn bags- know what I jingle jangle?

    "8 out of 10 times if you're good in bed you can close."

    Says the zippy the pinhead lookalike who hasn't got laid in 6.9987869o4455303037u9o3y4iu3 months. Aren't you the pathetic cum chin that was boo hooing about a chick leaving you hanging (and in your case, it's a very short hang) in THIS VERY POST?

    Also had a chance to check out the Gawker post about you, Victor Vagina. Apparently your reading for comprehension skills are equal to your neanderfuckstick writing skills- that is, nonexistent. They hated you, you cheddar cunted ass muncher... and you saw that as them liking you?

    At what point was your brain replaced with the viscous afterbirth of retarded goat spawn? And at what point does Temple University switch over to being an arts and crafts school for short bus riders like yourself due to the shame of giving a dentskulled dunce named kadyshes a diploma?

    You grow tiresome, kadyshes. You really do. It is time, Arthur. Douse yourself in Kerosene, then jog slowly through a burning building.

    Do it for the children. Do it for the environment.

    And at long last, do it for the wigless lego people.

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  5. Zombie Kade again- lol HUGE at Sigmund the Sea Monster, Drew. Outstanding work.

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  6. This:
    "instill your authority by getting revenge and sending a message by masturbating right next to her and then finishing on her to say, 'Since you wouldn’t do this, then enjoy this little present,'" is truly the most psychotic thing I've read in a long time. Arthur Kade truly hates women.

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  7. @He's Enormous...

    Being a closeted homosexual and abandoned by your mother and father will do that to you. Throw in a bunch of drugs and you've got the makings of a serial killer.

    @Zombie... WELCOME! I had a post that I lost because I'm an idiot, but I was just saying how much I enjoyed this post here. "Douse yourself in Kerosene, then jog slowly through a burning building." Pretty much sums up what I hope this idiot does to make the world a better place. That or drink a 12 pack of red bull while snorting half of Colombia. Either way we win.

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  8. @Drew: As a chick, if AK 4.7 were the last dick on earth, I would give up dick. Happily.

    Art, you are beyond disgucting, DIE.

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  9. ^disgusting. whoops. angry typing never works.

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  10. I just came across an awesome video remix of Carl Sagan ft. Stephen Hawking that absolutely reminds me how small and pointless Arthur Kade is. Carl was the son of Russian Jewish immigrants too, but he was truly worth something, was an amazing man...astronomer, best selling author, co-writer and presenter of Cosmos, and if he was still alive I would jump on him if he gave me the slightest come-hither. His voice, his attitude, his brain, his smile, his wonderfully welcoming looks...he is the whole package. You Kade, I wouldn't ever bother with unless you drugged me. You have nothing to show for yourself in any way. You are a shallow and selfish human being, worthy of the contempt you receive since you are so bent on 'dominating' everything and everyone with your pathetic and soulless vision of life.

    (Check out the video -- link in my user name)

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  11. P.S. Jump on him in a *good* way. ;-)

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  12. The part about the retaliatory ejaculating into a woman's eye is beyond disturbing.
    He's not fooling anyone but himself - he REALLY needs a boyfriend.
    Pathetic and sad.

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  13. yeah, he really need the living FUCK beat out of him


    he's a seriously fucked up date rapey motherfucker who doesn't have a shred of what it takes to have meaningful connections to other human beings

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  14. The good news about his posts are that any outlet that mistakenly takes him serious, like the Social Media Folks, can be pointed to his writings, upon which they will turn and run far away from this idiot.

    Keep digging your grave!

    I wonder if IMG saw who they were in "bed with" they might have a change in position. Arthur will provide riches to lawyers who decide to go after his nonsense. Corporate America likes edgy and controversial but only so far. This is not the 60's, and Arthur is not Lenny Bruce or George Carlin. Hell, he makes Andrew Dice Clay look like Shakespeare! Everything media related depends on how will the Sponsors accept this. Right now, Arthurs level of trash spewing is lower that the worst of Reality TV i.e. Rock of Love, the STD edition. At least Bret Michaels has some appeal to some demographic.........

    The people responding to Arthurs blog (us) are probably College Graduates (African Villagers/Children), aged 18-50, moderate income- so you could say he is delivering a desireable demographic. Damn! We're actually the "blog". Our comments are insightful, witty, profound, and pretty graphic in response to his idiocy and you guys are very funny!

    At a certain point, we can exert our power over Arthurs website, and really dumb down our comments. What is he left with then? His own stupid musings and lack of accomplishments, without our responses, he will be dead in the water.

    It's pretty obvious, he has no Acting ability. He is too old to be a model, except for some local outlets. He really is circling the drain here!

    Can't wait to hear his "big announcement".

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  15. WELL, after reading that entry, I'm speechless. If you ever get a woman into bed after THIS little post Arty, it'll be because she's a hooker.

    This post screams that you have pathological tendencies. You have real issues with women. Real SERIOUS issues. I'm actually worried about whichever hapless soul you might actually (although doubtful) hook up with.

    You need to direct your therapist to your blog. Either there's lots you're not telling him/her OR he/she is stealing your money.

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  16. "young hollywood's next big thing"....good lord you're 32 you douchebage.

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  17. Fascinating! AK 4.7 has never amounted to anything, never accomplished anything, , and will never accomplish anything of note. And yet, As his dreams gather in cinders at his feet and he's increasingly spinning wheels on things like devising a logo for himself (Quick! What's Brad Pitt's logo? Oh... Wait...) that will in no way propel him forward, it's only a matter of time before he begins referring to himself in the past-tense. Thus, he combines two seemingly contradictory pop-cultural tropes: has-been and nobody.

    He's a Nobody Has-been. Or a Has-been Nobody.

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  18. How many chicks are left sans orgasm, Kade and they bitch about it less than you.

    GO in the bathroom and jerk off, shut up and be done with it, you piece of shit.

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  19. Hi everyone, its Jessica. I just wanted to post what I posted on Art's blog earlier for you guys per the invite. As an insider to Art's world, I can keep you posted on what I know. I know him and his friends (and I use the word "friends" lightly). He does not have many friends, and those of us who still talk to him really mock him behind his back. Here you go...enjoy.

    As a female (and someone who knows Arthur & knows someone who has slept with him) I have a few things to say.

    1. When you have to brag that you are the best, it usually means you really know that you are not, therefore, having to attempt to get others to believe you are.

    2. Art uses regular size condoms (I have seen his collection) and lets just say, the regular size is not a tight fit. (We women discuss that). And Art if you dont believe me…you kept some in your kitchen drawer. Also, just so you know I was at your house, when you would come in the door, his sitting room was on the left, bathroom on the right (downstairs bathroom was purple) you walked forward to the living room and kitchen was on the left. Condoms were in the top drawer.

    3. If we don’t return the favor, it means you either have a small penis or are very lousy at foreplay, so if you are bad at that, we don’t waste our time and go further with someone who already sucks at foreplay. I mean really, if you are that bad, it doesnt get better! So for yourself and your friends let them know that is the only reason we dont go through with sex.

    4. Maybe we just wanted to use YOU to get off quickly….because really we do hold all the power during sex and once we get off if we feel like being done…we are. Too bad for you.

    5. When anyone says “it’s my turn” to a woman you can pretty much expect we are done. We do get up and leave, but not because we are mad, but because we know again we had the upper hand and because well we CAN.

    6. We fake it (a lot) I am sure your friend did not get her off many times or even once, because if we are really turned on we want sex just as much as you do. You dont think its just as frustrating for us after 45 minutes and nothing???? I am sure she left to go home to her vibrator or find her FWB sex guy who knows his way around a womans body.

    7. We enjoy that you masturbate, even in front of us, it keeps us from having to do any work with someone who doesnt do it for us. Thank you and keep doing that. Plus its your sheets getting dirty not ours. If someone would ever do that and deposit on me, you can bet I am wiping myself on your sheets. You do the laundry.

    8. You are wrong about gold diggers. They are usually the best in bed, it’s their craft. Thats how a gold digger catches her men, by sex.

    Well thats all. Please feel free to ask me any questions guys if you want to know what a woman is really thinking/feeling. i will tell you honestly but not in a mean way. I’m not Arthur. Hey maybe I can start my own website to answer guys questions about females! LOL.

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  20. From Lindsay's facebook:

    Sabrina Strickland: K I'm picking u up around 6:30...to go to bamboo,then a meeting with arthur at 9pm

    ........
    Hopefully they both stomp him to death in that rendezvous.

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  21. I have the most naive question ever.

    How can you tell if someone is all coked out?

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  22. How can Arthur be friends with Sabrina Strickland and Linsday Furman? Both are clearly nowhere near 7's if evidence on Arthur's own site is any indication. I thought girls under a 7 weren't worth friending or hanging out wit Arthur? Or are you just using them for what they can get you into/get you to meet?

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  23. KAIDS poppin' in for a quick secondOctober 5, 2009 at 4:32 AM

    to say thanks to hellkell for that awesome video. Always awesome to find another Sagan fan.


    Oh, and FUCK YOU ARTHUR.

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