The last video is just as disturbing. It's really funny listening to Arthur ramble on about why he doesn't date, because he had his heart broken, blah blah blah. Grow a pair already Arthur, you're a 32 year old man for crying out loud!
While at dinner after an amazing work out tonight with one of The Entourage, we started discussing how The Drought is now reaching epic proportions (10 months on Dec. 12th, and I wonder if this technically qualifies me as a virgin again although with the countless girls I have had in my life time if a Gen Popper still averages it out I am still ahead of anyone I know but one person), and I started talking about when I do finally decide to experience the “Kingdom of Warmth” again, what will the actual experience be like. At first, I started talking about whether Arthur Kade will go the first few times like a “Minute Man” just to get the rust off, and then get back to old form (I don’t think this will happen because even during this time I have ejaculated in or on tons of girls in other areas, and I have still held on really well), or will I just go 12 time the first night and keep exploding like the Hoover Dam with cracks in it. The conversation quickly turned to the opposite gender, and we discussed instead what type of girl will I get, and the various styles that girls are in bed, and I decided to break them down. Every girl has a different “Game” in bed, and some are better than others and we wondered which one I would get to break “The Drought”.
1) The Assassin-This is the girl that is all about The penis and “Penal Insertion”, and wants to just do whatever it takes to get it inside of her as quickly as possible. There is little foreplay involved, and usually the girl will warm up by giving oral sex to get you fully erect, and then jump you to finish you off. These girls are great when you just want a “Quickie”, but if it’s consistent than it gets boring and repetitive.
2) The SHE-RA-This is the girl that is ultra aggressive in bed, and looks at you like the girl, and will “Fuck You” rather than the other way around. I am not a huge fan of girls like this because they will work so hard that sometimes it feels like your penis may break in half, and it becomes impossible to ejaculate because you are thinking, “Am I going to have to go the hospital after this”. I once had a girl who rode me so hard that it hurt to pee for 2 days after.
3) The Starlet- This girl is very artistic in nature, and is probably in some type of craft that involves beauty or physical movements and heavy physical judgement, and at nature is very insecure with her body, and will be very shy in bed. This girl may not want to remove certain clothes during sex, stay under the covers so you can’t view her body, and once you are done, she will cover up and literally run into the bathroom to clean up. Since The Brand has slept with models, actresses, and artists of all kinds, this girl will feel judged and will not bring that same “Artistic Talent” to sex, and Arthur Kade will usually be “One and Done”.
4) The Rammer-This girl will want you to ram her as hard and as long as possible and Usually it will be either Doggystyle or Missionary since this is the easiest way to gather full pushing force and maximum motion of inertia. They are usually the hardest ones to make ejaculate because it takes so long and so effort to make it happen, and by the time it does you are a ball of sweat and half-erect because it feels more like camp labor then sex. This can be great when you’re have crazy drunk sex when it’s harder to cum anyway, but otherwise can get a bit annoying.
5) The Schwartzkopf-This girl is military in style where she will bark out orders through out sex like “More to the right”, “Now my clit”, “Turn Me around”, and my all time favorite, “Go faster and and then slower”, and it ca easily de-masculate men to the point where they feel like they are taking orders like a Marine. These girls are usually devoid of Passion and Heart, and look at sex like a battle that troops are fighting rather than a sensual experience of two organisms sharing a bond of fluids and emotion.
6) The Cirque De Soleil-This is the girl who feels like everytime she is having sex with Arthur Kade, she has to put on the performance of a lifetime, and will act like a caged animal instead of herself. I compare to actors with less skill level trying to overact, and it can end up feeling fake, and like you should have payed $11 at the door, but sometimes if you can settle the girl down and harness the positive energy and relax the show, it can make it amazing sex after all. These are also the girls who will be most apt to video tape because they want to feel like they are filming a porno with you, and I had one years ago who when I watched our tape years ago, I said, “Wow, we should get paid money for this”.
7) The Einstein-This is the girl that is just amazing in bed, and can adjust herself to accommodate any style that matches up with what the man wants, and knows her body inside and out, and will usually play with herself during sex, or do whatever it takes to get you and her off. She can be wild at times, and sensual at others, and understands what it takes to make the both of you happy. The Brand has found strippers to be the best at this because they will transfer their entertainment and physiological abilities to the bedroom and create ecstasy, and also they love threesomes with other strippers (I dated a stripper years ago who would bring home other co-workers, some who were married, and they would trade me and their husbands like Topps Basball Cards.
8 )The Dead-Fish-Just cut bait, and throw it back in the water
Here is a video of a random fan of “The Journey” from Kadelanta who yelled “Kade!?!?” on the street when he walked by me several times but I had my I-pod on, and when he stopped me, he said, “This is crazy. I read your blog. I am a HUGE fan”, so I did a Kade Nation Video with him (He told me he was in from out of town on business, but his face was so cute and priceless because he looked like a little kid who got the bike he wanted for Christmas), and also a video of me doing street Karaoke on Market Street showing off my vocal Improv Talents, and an acting vid with Sharon. I also received an interview request from a Japanese magazine showing my The Brand’s continuing Global expansion to The Far East.
“The Hardest Things in Life are Doing The Hardest Things”…Arthur Kade…12/1/09