8/20/09

Retardation Strikes Again: "The Next Vince Vaughn"

Our lisping, closeted homosexual hero has done it again... a purely delusional post of the first magnitude:
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Certain actors are famous and amazing as just being 80% themselves, and then use the other 20% to adapt it to the character that they want to become so they are really always the same person, but giving some spice to create something new (Nicholson, Bogart, Brosnan, Ford), while others just “Disappear” into a new character and totally become someone else to the point that you forget that you are watching the actual actor (Oldman, Day-Lewis, Ledger) and the beauty of My Craft is that that is what makes it art. I am being told by everyone in “The Biz” that I have such a unique and different sense of being, that I will probably find my niche more in the first group, because as one person said, “Why run away from what works, and you work”, so I am really trying to find where my niche is going to be and where I am going to win my awards and make my millions. I am always the most funny and witty person in any room, so I wanted to begin training around comedy (my comedic timing is superior to most comics already, it’s just a matter of massaging my acting muscles through repetition to get them used to the various motions that are needed to hit the points so that the crowd erupts when I am finished at certain points with laughter).

The month of September is filled with so many classes and amazing workshops that I feel like my mastering of the craft is about to go to it’s highest level, and with everything that is happening in “The Journey”, I want to be ready because I have a meeting with a top area agent set up, and will be auditioning in front of the casting directors for shows like 30 Rock and others in September (I also will be starting Mike Lemon’s Advanced Film Class ((His top level Film Class)), a class in NYC with Jennifer Rudolph who works with the top agents and casting directors in “The Biz”, and an Improv class at the Walnut Street Theatre), and feel that if I put my best foot forward, I may get cast as a SAG principal based on my talent and looks, and I think my chemistry with fellow actors Tina (Tina Fey) and Alec (Alec Baldwin) would be “Off the Charts”, and could take an already hit show to a new level (The addition of The Brand with my fan following, recognizability, and popularity , and probably get me my own sitcom like Seinfeld or Curb your Enthusiasm, which will eventually lead me into huge movie roles to bring home “Little Oscar”.

While talking to a friend on the way home from NYC yesterday (By the Way, I have that second read with the cast of that pilot tomorrow, and hopefully will be cast to film it so wish me luck), she said “I heard people are calling you something like the next Vince Vaughn” (Because I have such a dry, quick, Jewish humor, and am tall, controversial, and striking, although everyone in The Entourage agrees that I am superior looking and have more personality), so in my session with Sharon today, I picked a comedic monologue that I can go to war with which will showcase my range against “Greed is Good” and will display how well rounded I have become as an acting prodigy and that I am not just a one trick pony like Jack or Pierce, and potentially put me, Arthur Kade, into a class of his own. I selected a monologue to learn from “Wedding Crashers”, and Sharon and I spent an hour breaking it down, identifying where I would spit it out hard, and where I would keep it soft, and those peaks and valleys are what determine the rhythm of the speech to crate True Comedy. This the read after we practiced all session, and I will memorize it for next week and I think you will agree that I am hilarious and for a first break down, I nailed it “Kade Style”.





What a rambling piece of shit post... have at it in the comments!

38 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, when Arthur says "spit it out hard" there are about 8 levels of meaning... is he spitting out some guy's cum (bc he is obviously gay), or just spitting because he has a speech impediment, or is "spitting" symbolic of the fact that arthur is just a shitty actor?

    Wish I had more time to analyze this........

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  2. "beauty of My Craft"
    Capital letters....

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  3. likes misogyny in the morningAugust 20, 2009 at 10:20 PM

    omg, THANK YOU for putting this blog up. I'm addicted to this train wreck, but I've felt dirty for giving him page views.

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  4. "I am always the most funny and witty person in any room"

    Wrong. Arthur is the most laughed at person in the room, because he is a slightly retarded 32 year old with the mind of a 12 year old trying to impress the cool kids in school. He drools alot. His breath is bad. He's ugly. Destined for hell.

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  5. That video is fucking pathetic. He is reading from a sheet of paper for fuck's sake! How can anyone call that "acting?"

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  6. Hey there - you might have missed this gem he added at the end of the blog:

    “Kade Style isn’t about just being the best, but about teaching the rest”…”Arthur Kade” 8/21/09

    I am laughing my ass off. He's quoting himself on his own blog!!!!

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  7. I, for one, am shocked he can read. No joke.

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  8. Kade, please go somewhere and die. Or else, eventually someone is going to kill you. You're the most hatable person I have ever seen.

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  9. Is anyone else just incredibly annoyed when he writes “Little Oscar?"

    It makes my skin crawl.

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  10. Wow. I tried to post the url and dumbass Kade is up and awake and changing my post to say "I love Kade."

    What a moron. Poor guy has really pushed it too far, now he's got to stay up all night playing clean-up because of the hatred he has created.

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  11. You 100% completely balls ass hot ass FUCKING SUCK AT ACTING!!!! No one in Philly, or anywhere else in this country likes you. At all. Everyone hates you and makes fun of you, either on this blog, to your face or behind your back. You have like 5 friends that are as delusional as you (I blame the coke), I mean they must be to actually hang out with you and to actually encourage you to pursue something in which you possess ZERO talent in. Arthur- let me run some things down for you:
    1. We know that these “friends” that always tell you how amazing you are and compare you to successful actors dont actually exist. You can stop that now, no one is buying it. You have so little talent that Helen Keller would be able to tell what a zero you are.
    2. You do not look 20-25. You honestly look like you are in your late 30s. While I am on the subject of your looks- you DO NOT look Greek or Italian, nor does your schnozz. You just look like an below average dude with a fucked up nose and an awful haircut….seriously that haircut is ridiculous.
    3. Wearing T-Shirts with slogans on it is not fashion forward. It’s a trend that went out circa 2003, and even then, only complete assholes who have no personality would wear them. Oh, and if you insist on wearing those piece of shit Urban Outfitters T-Shirts from 6 years ago, how bout you go a size smaller, because the only thing worse than an old dude in a slogan shirt is an old guy with a baggy oversized slogan shirt. You arent bringing back the fedora look, either. You are like 5 years behind that one too, chief.
    4. Just because you get ripped off and pay full price for bottle service at clubs does not make you cool, especially when you are 31.
    5. 98% of the girls you take pictures with are fucking gross looking. I dont mean to insult these chicks, but its true. And how come you claim that these are “fans that asked for a picture”? Who the fuck asks for a picture with you on YOUR CAMERA?!?? Dude, just do these broads a favor and leave them the fuck alone, you look like a creepy rapist and they are probably so terrified of you they take the picture to get you the hell away from them.
    6. I love how you say you go to the hottest most exclusive clubs. I am not much of a club-goer my self (ya know, because I’m not a raging douchebag, I prefer regular bars), but what kind of exclusive clubs allow someone that dresses like you (again, the baggy retarded T-Shirts and a BACKPACK) into their establishment? Doesnt sound so exclusive anymore now does it? You idiot.
    7. Driving down to AC every weekend does not make you a jet-setter, it makes you a fucking shoobie.
    Man I could go on for days but tomorrow is Friday, I have to rest up for my balls ass hot ass Friday night. Ladder 15 is going off tomorrow, ulta exclusive VIP party. Meaning that if you show up with a valid ID, the bouncers let you in to pay for drinks, Kade-Style.

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  12. The ghost of Cindy BradyAugust 21, 2009 at 5:39 AM

    See, I can't believehe really believes his own bullshit with videos like this. He watches the video himself before or after he posts it, right? He's got to know his delivery is lacking . . .

    Still quite a few commentors over on his blog, btw. Discipline, people!

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  13. finally forced myself to watch the vid. It's brutal. it's reading with expression and nothing more. He knows it, but he has to keep the "act" up to save face.

    Hangin'

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  14. email to douchebag1
    show details 8:58 AM (0 minutes ago) Reply



    Dude, please post this link on your site to help get the word out. You hate Arthur Kade so this is the way to get him even though you said you would not mention him again, this is for us dude. Do it for us. Do it for the children.

    www.legowigkade.blogspot.com


    Just realized after I sent the email that I had a major Kade-like sentence happening. See, it is contagious. Hope they find a vaccine.

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  15. Ummm.....why would you need an acting coach to break down and analyze how to change your voice (aka scream or whisper) for a monologue from a hit movie that has been out for about 3 years?

    Am I missing something here? I highly doubt you would take something that has already been done and actually change how it is read/spoke - besides like a fucking monotone robot pre Lost in Space era.

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  16. can we just steal his exact page layout? If you make the blog almost identical, then people can better curb their lust for train wreck observation!

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  17. Ah this is great. I couldn't help but watch the train wreck that is Kadyshes, and now I can do it without giving him hits.

    Can't wait for the real info to start flowing...

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  18. The next Vince Vaughn???? bwahahahaha! Who told him that, GN? The next Mr. Bean, maybe........

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  19. The ghost of Cindy BradyAugust 21, 2009 at 7:28 AM

    Kade's latest Facebook status update:
    "I'm like Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 weeks"

    Crazy fuckin moron.

    ReplyDelete
  20. http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb273/bronxbull3388/akade.jpg

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  21. I'm still trying to get over the whole hot-ass ball-ass "broomstick up the ass" skit.

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  22. I'm trying to get this posted:

    Leave it up to a man as delusional as Kade to
    Expect us to think he's
    Gonna make it as an actor
    Or some type of celebrity
    When
    In fact he is nothing but Russian
    Garbage in a
    Kade zit riddled skin
    And more than just that the
    Dickhead thinks
    Everyone is cheering for his
    Dumbass
    Or should he
    Think he has talent other than as a two
    Bit moron with no talent whatsoever
    Love that he is all
    Over the place with his stupid
    Girlfriend that makes him dance
    So retarded
    Poor man is being used and he's too big a moron to realize
    Or is there no brain to
    Think of these thinks
    Does he not know what we know
    Or is
    There something else
    Cock goobler never gets
    Or is he just that big a
    Moron??

    Get it?

    But keep getting moderated. I think he's blocking my IP address. Anyone else wanna give it a try?

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  23. WOW! I just read this post...

    That was AFTER working on it for an entire sesssion??? Helen Keller could have done a better job the first time she picked up the paper.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hangin'

    I sent DB1 basically the same e-mail last night. I'm 2 for 2 with sending him links that he posted on Friday. Hopefully I'll go 3 for 3!

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  25. MC900 Foot:

    Awesome attempt at posting that url! I've tried so many ways. I managed to sneak in a tiny url redirect within a bunch of gibberish, and it was posted live for a few minutes, then deleted.

    I mean, he is literally sat down at his computer moderating and deleting comments, potentially all day and night now. It's glorious!

    ReplyDelete
  26. The ghost of Cindy BradyAugust 21, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    He's doing it from his KAIDS Berry, while he replies to fb comments and tweets. Seems to not be sleeping much.

    ReplyDelete
  27. @ MC cool, lets hope.

    @ The Ghost His eye lids are really going to look like empty nut sacks if that's the case.

    Hangin'

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  28. I wonder if you could get an rss feed of AK's comment section in the sidebar of this blog. It would make it even easier not to go there.

    ReplyDelete
  29. How long can a person go without sleep before they just drop dead?

    I hope not too long.

    Mwahahahahahaahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Just checked again... either he's got my IP address pegged or the word "boo" is being moderated. Well, I never have to go back now.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The ghost of Cindy BradyAugust 21, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    What we all REALLY want is an aggregator that collects all Kademobilia: tweets, fb comments, blog comments, everything. ONe stop shopping to feed the Kadeiction.

    Because, yes, I'm that obsessed.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Okay, well one of his tweets earlier said

    "Waiting 4 cab. Maybe I should call agagin and tell them its 4 arthur kade"
    about 1 hour ago from TwitterBerry

    Do you guys think the cab company could have sent a cab designated with a 16 year old Palestinian boy as the driver? That would definitely end him.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I can just picture him furiously moderating and deleting, with a case of RedBull and an eight-ball for company. That would explain so much.

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  34. @ MC 900

    I'm being moderated as well. Tried to post your handy url in a poem. Lets see if it takes...

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love the new site! It's good to see Hickey here too. I've been trying to plug his blog on Kades' for a while now. To touch on another post, it's no surprise he's friends with Perloff as all the places he plugs are involved with him. A photo on Philly shit shat show them hanging by the Chelsea pool with some rough trade.

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  36. @ Cindy -- we can't just aggregate the info kade puts out. he has copyright over all that crap. we need to parody/offer a spin on it. this makes it our own, not just copying his. there is a distinction and we're following it.

    what is REALLY valuable is the info contained in unmoderated comments. no one really gives a flying fuck what arthur posts now... we just want to share and compete with others' comments.

    arthur is going to fall, hopefully in a very public way, and we all want to be there for that. for now, we're just killing time... but the fast the info comes out and the more we make producers/casting people aware of his douchebaggery, the quicker he will have that tragic fall!

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  37. Hey hey Pogue made it. Glad to see ya here bro!

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  38. go glad this happened! been harassing the cunt Arthur since the start and want to see these unmoderated comments as well


    I just hope that he actually posts here too. how great would that be?! what I want is some interactivity with Arthur and we "Haters". really I'd love to have an exchange with this fucking douche just to see how his mind deals with these comments and rebuttals in real time

    I also hope that Richard Brian Penn stays far from here :lol:. actually ripping him is pretty fun as well


    great stuff!

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