9/7/09

Advanced Acting Class - Arthur is WAY out of his league now

I think the funniest thing in legos-for-brains latest post is that he's complaining about "no one being around" as if that's the reason he's not getting any acting gigs. As if summer is the reason; as if all acting jobs just dry up. Arthur, the jobs are there! They're just being taken by actual working actors who work harder at their craft than you can even fathom. The jobs are there for people with talent. The jobs are there for actors that are going somewhere. The jobs are not there for people like you, who feel it's more important to blog about how they can "get a girl kicked out of a hotel for not shaving her private parts."

He also fails to see the irony in saying "it's time for working successful actors like myself... to get back to acting classes." Ha! Arthur, actual working successful actors are not taking classes, because they're actually talented at what they do. They're not trying to figure it out anymore. Tom Hanks, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Matt Damon, etc. those guys are not taking acting classes! They're making millions of dollars and living the life that you will only dream of.

Finally Arthur, people don't read your blog "first thing in the morning" because they're intrigued by you. They read your blog first thing in the morning because seeing your abysmal, fame-whore lifestyle makes even those waking up with the worst day imaginable feel better about themselves, because they're not waking up in your skin, your acne, your disgusting mind. Even a guy who shovels shit all day for minimum wage wakes up being thankful he is not you.

The latest from arthurkade.com:

Now that the summer is officially over, it is time for working successful actors like myself to get back to crazy work schedules, and amazing classes now that everyone is coming back from vacation, and tommorow I have finally back in class with the amazing Mike Lemon. I was just bitching to one of my girlfriends at The Chels, “This month has been so annoying because everyone is away, and all I want to do is kill it, and no one seems to be around”.  I excelled in the Film Class I did a couple months ago, and since then I have worked with coaches to continue perfecting my craft, and I can’t wait to see the reaction from him and my fellow students when they see again (Considering I was just Arthur Kade, the guy with the feature in Philadelphia Magazine back then, and now I have become Arthur Kade, celebrity featured in popular tabloid websites like Gawker, DBTH, The Insider, and being featured on hit radio shows around the country).  I am curious if they will ask for pictures or autographs when I walk in, but I will want to just “Fit In” because it is important to stay humble and not ever throw your success in other’s faces, because you never know who you might need or want on the way up in “The Biz”, and if I meet someone who could be a good role player in a future feature film I star in, I don’t want them feeling like, “Arthur hated me”, “Arthur thought I sucked”, or “Arthur knew I wanted him”.
When I walk in, I hope that I have some of the classmates from the last class because we built a bond like in “Band Of Brothers”, and it will probably be like seeing a private who has been promted to General in just 8 weeks, and they will want to pick my brain on how I have achieved so much, but my focus has to be on excelling at Mike’s toughest class, preparing for my first principal role this year, my amazing auditions in front of the top commercial and film agents in NYC in 2.45 weeks, and most of all signing on with a top agent to take “The Journey” to new heights and take me from just “Celebrity” to “Award Winning Actor” (A fan told me at The Chels, “I think you’re blog will be the biggest one in the country soon”, and I responded people already tell me, “ArthurKade.com is the first thing I read in the morning, even ahead of CNN, Perez, and ESPN” because they are so intriguiged by my personality, looks, charm, and defiance of the impossible.
While talking to my acting coach Sharon about the summer, she told, “It’s always slower, but this year has been even worse because of the economy”, and I thought, “Wow, great actors like her are worrying about work, and yet here I have been getting tons of it, so that just shows me that I’m doing great”.  I have also perfected my “Wedding Crashers” monologue, and will be seeing Sharon tommorow at 2PM, and then have class at 6:30PM, so it’s back to the grindstone, and developing The Brand.  I will also be heading to the salon as well to color my hair blond, so stay tuned, and I am working on some crazy stuff that will blow the minds of The Gen Pop, and take “The Journey” to new, groundbreaking heights.  I also just bought my new Kade Cam after that 5 broke my other one, and will show it tommorow in a blog, but it kills the other one I had, and is more refelective of a celeb than Gen Pop status.  I also have a fashion show later this week will show my continued dedication to keeping a high profile like other celebs do in other productions outside of their craft like Seacrest doing Idol and Klum doing Runway, although I am more “Retired” in that industry now, although I think I could still be in Abercrombie, Armani, or Prada Ads if I really wanted to got that direction
I am also still weighing my choice on Celebrity Boxing (This seemed to be the most talked about topin down the shore, and everyone has has mixed reviews with some people wanting to watch Arthur Kade pummel someone, and others being scared that I might hurt my “Street Cred”, and potentially hurt my face or body and slow “The Journey”), and one girl said, “Why would you want to break your beautiful nose after you’ve gotten it fixed before”, and I said, “I don’t know that anyone can hit me because I am very athletic and fast, and it would be great exposure, but I’m not sure it’s the direction that a future A List Actor wants to go in it’s development to Commercial/Media Product”.  It’s something that I am really thinking through, but most people think that I will have no problem winning, because I am a winner at everything.
If you missed my groundbreaking interview with The Ace and Tj Show out of Charlotte on Friday (The top rated syndicated radio show in The South which made me a household name in new teritories in “The Bible Belt”), and I have been told that their link is malfunctioning, I was just forwarded this link to listen to the show.  Enjow how they praise me, and tell me they are fans of “The Journey”.
“I am not an “”Idiot Savant”, because they are only brilliant at one thing, I am a “”Life Savant”"”….Arthur Kade…09/07/09
A Touching Fan Email I received from one Of My Aussie Fans.  Gracias Mate, “The Journey” is going to new levels right now so stay tuned.
Hey Arthur
You are a genius, can’t wait to see more of your Kween character on youtube - her, I mean it’s, development (Mr Belvedere meets Queen Elizabeth) has been so inspiring to watch over its course. I can definitely see a Borat style movie or Ali G or Alan Partridge style interview program based on this character - with people believing that she, I mean it, is a real character! It amazes me that you can develop such original and funny concepts while still keeping in such good shape, rock such good fashion, develop a boxing career, etc, etc…also I have to say your website is unbelievable - do you create/design that your self? - you are a trail blazer and believe me, it’s not just future young actors who are going to see you as their Christopher Columbus - it’s the youth of the future…period! Have you ever considered a sideline in music or song writing? I can totally imagine you as the next Sting, Bono, Frank Sinatra, Kurt Cobain, John Lennon or Charles Manson if you have any guitar/song writing ambitions. O.K, I know you’re a busy man and have better things to do than read such lengthy fan emails, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m a big fan and can’t wait to see more of The Kween (Mr Belvedere meets Queen Elizabeth) and also can’t wait to see you diversify into more and more outlets for your prodigious talent and creativity and watch you continue your meteoric rise to the top. You’re starting to get quite a fan base here in Australia by the way and a grass roots level of support and respect.
Fuck the haters, Don’t ever change!

40 comments:

  1. Wow Kade... can't wait to see what camera you bought at Best Buy that is somehow special enough for a celebrity, but can be bought by any person who walks into any electronics store in the entire country.

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  2. What in the fuck was groundbreaking about the Ace & TJ interview? It was the same old same old: Arthur sounded like he was coked out of his mind, delusional as ever. He was laughed at constantly.

    How exactly is that groundbreaking?

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  3. At this point, I don't care about this horse-and-pony show anymore. I'm not going to read Kade's shit anymore. It's getting too absurd.

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  4. Ok, as a fellow Australian I can safely say that 'fan email' was a pile of steaming sarcasm. Nice one, though.

    And Arthur, 'gracias mate'?! Do you even know where Australia is??!

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  5. Will Lolarthur cry to Twitter ban his new (and much funnier and better) Twitter account? Without me the plain old loser Arthur would be boring. He needs me to keep his fans entertained. Make sure you read EVERYTHING.

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  6. Three things:

    1. I'm thinking that AK 4.7 is pretty fcked up looking now. I can't wait to see him even more fcked up as a blond.

    2. Please God, please let AK 4.7 agree to the celebrity boxing thing.

    3. Our reader in Australia believes AK 4.7 has the potential to be the next Charles Manson. I disagree, but I think that he definitely has Ted Bundy potential.

    http://z.about.com/d/crime/1/0/g/X/bundy_ted.jpg

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  7. I can't WAIT for more videos from his advanced acting class. Every time I watch a video of Arthur trying to act, it inspires me to:

    * Go to the library to read another couple of plays and look for new monologrs.

    * Practice the monologrs I already have. Practice tempo, inner monologr, "moments before", sketch out the actual stage set up so that I own it "Legowski-style", etc.

    * Practice my breathing excercises and diaphragm work.

    * Practice tongue twisters and long vowel sounds. Practice pronounciation by reading text aloud from a book, magazine, or newspaper.

    * Go online and look for audition notices.

    * Go run or work out.

    You know...all those things that ACTUAL ASPIRING ACTORS do. I am painfully behind in my fedora-shopping or "models and bottles" service, though.

    More videos, please, Arthur. Gracias, mate!

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  8. Oh, and that really sucks for the AK 4.7 that the NYC and Philly acting scene take summers off. I wish I had that kind of break, but, alas, here in my city, I was too busy scoring an actual principal role as Inspector Goole in an actual full-length production of "An Inspector Calls" last week.

    I won't get PAID for it, the way that Arthur does when he stands around being a "featured extra" in his Hollywood feature films...but maybe one day, through enough hard-work, experience, and resume-building, I'll be lucky enough to work a scene in one of those films with Arthur. I'll only wish that I could give him some of my lines....

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  9. Oh, KAIDS can play that fuckin' game too.September 8, 2009 at 4:42 AM

    @everyone:

    Well, as you've seen Artie Numblefucks has started copying posts from here in an act of sheer desperation.

    How fucking sad. Oh well, I've got an idea.

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  10. "because you never know who you might need or want on the way up in “The Biz”"

    I think you have offended the entire female population now you homo.......you might have thought about that before. You may need some help from some female at some point other than to "use her".

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  11. QWEEN QWEEN QWEEN I love that character!!!!!111!September 8, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    Can someone explain again how these mind-numbing radio bits fit into The Journey?

    I see how the Youtube monologue clips fit in - and every day I self motivate by playing them and trying to get into the cutting edge characters portrayed there.

    by the way, instead of bookmarking this site, I always come here by typing Arthur Kade into google and scrolling down until I find the Lego Wig on my search results. Today it came up #26...

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  12. garcias, mate?? uugh...so dumb

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  13. From the Twitter feed... "@lastalexander I actually finished 15th out of like 1000. And thts with cutting my whole senior year. Kade style."

    Arthur, you went to a Philadelphia public school. Not even a good one like Masterman or Central. You went to the local Philadelphia public school. So, finishing 15th out of 1,000... hardly impressive, ass.

    Of course, it explains why you are illiterate and devoid of any ability for critical thought.

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  15. There is no way that you would have gone to Temple after finishing 15th in your class. Did your high school only use short busses?

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  16. Oh, Mr. Legowski.

    Having closely studied AK 4.7's masterful technique that is propelling him to the uppermost pinnacles of "The Biz," I'm sorry to have to tell you that everything you describe yourself as doing is WRONG.

    Here's how it's done. Read and learn, young man.

    1. You will need to overcome any speech impediment you might have. This can be accomplished by putting a cork between your teeth, taking a 46 second video of yourself, posting it on YouTube, then going to a nightclub and getting bottle service.

    2. Search craigslist in your city for potential work in "The Biz." A-lispers in "The Biz" use a kind of code in placing ads. For example, "if you show up at 10 A.M. I'll put you in my student film. Sorry no payment" really means "Seeking co-star for Angelina Jolie's next movie." Before a big audition, be sure to go to a nightclub and get bottle service.

    3. What you wear to an audition is very important! Strive to hear "ohjesuscrise... what the hell is this walking in the door? why me, God?" when you make your "Entrance." Test out your audition outfit by wearing it to a club the night before and getting bottle service, then sleep in it before the audition.

    4. An actor must be in Top Physical Condition. This means committing yourself to going to the gym two or three times a month. Be sure to eat right before your workout (Cosi has great donuts that will ensure a good workout if you eat enough of them). Before and after your monthly workout, go to a nightclub and get bottle service.

    I hope this is helpful to you, Mr. Legowski.

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  17. But, Mr. Legowski, before you even embark on your pursuit of Fame and Glory (aka, being mentioned on page 112 of USWeekly Magazine), ask yourself these crucial questions...

    1. Do I have the physical features that will make me Stand Out? If you don't have severe acne, a truly bizarre haircut, a nose that enters the room a full minute before you do, rapey eyes, and the tendency for spittle to accumulate at the corners of your mouth, you might want to hang it up and put in an application at Starbucks.

    2. Have you ever been invited to exit a city bus before you are at your destination because you frightened the other passengers by trying out your "Improv Characters" which they mistook for you having a petit mal seizure?

    3. From your studies of Quantum Physics and Evolutionary Biology, have you determined that there is not the slightest, most remote possibility that you will at any time get laid before you die?

    4. Does your "Support Network" consist exclusively of deluded cokehead losers who will cheer you on no matter how bad your decisions might be, and at least one of whom will allow you to sleep for weeks curled in his or her dirty laundry pile in the closet without paying rent?

    5. Does spending $350 for a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka in a nightclub make perfect sense to you? (Helpful hint: mixers are free! So you can spend the whole night drinking Sprite and just not have to order a second bottle. Also, unlike vodka, Sprite won't diminish the effects of those lines of cocaine you did in the bathroom.)

    Only if you answered an unequivocal "Yes!" to each of these questions should you even try, Mr. Legowski.

    All the best to you in dominating your career path of choice.

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  18. Art's tweets are getting more and more desperate.

    "HUGE audition for major auto parts store." I guess it's for the role of the dumbass do-it-yourselfer who put Grey Goose in the radiator because it's 'juth tho ballth ath, so ballth ath.' Idiocy, Kade Thtyle!

    "I feel like Britney in circus. All eyes on me." Hahahahahahaha! Hey Artie, like Britney, we really just want to look at the potential disaster that your presence brings. It's not about talent at all.

    Goddammit! When are we going to see a vid of someone peeing in a ginger ale and serving it to Kade?

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  19. And Arthur - seriously, you are starting to look REALLY bad. You really need to do the following, stat (and I know you're reading this, f*cker):

    1. SKIN/FACE/WRINKLES: Your skin looks sallow, rough and greasy. What kind of product are you using? Heavy duty Lava soap scrubbed in with sandpaper? Jesus. Get your pathetic ass to Blue Mercury NOW. While there, get an exfoliation and a facial, just to get your skin back to some sort of balance. Then, ask for a complete consult on what you should be using to maintain your skin. As an older man (32 is older, dearie) you'll need an appropriate face wash, a serum to deal with your pores, a day and a night moistuizer, an eye cream, and treatments to deal with your acne.

    While you're there, also ask for a product to deal with your severely chapped lips. Fresh makes a good lip product. Try it.

    Additionally, ask you best bud GN to hook you up with her plastic surgeon so you can get some Restalyne in the folds/deep wrinkles forming around your mouth and have a touch up on the Botox you've already got. Botox doesn't last forever, Arthur. You need a touch up. Now.

    Also, the BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES! Again, Jesus. If I didn't know that you packed your shit in plastic grocery bags from Shop-Rite, I would think you were using the bags under your eyes to carry your sh*t. A small, easy procedure by a plastic surgeon can take care of those.

    2. HAIR: Dry and balding. Consider plugs, or at least Rogaine. The balding is only going to get worse, especially if you start dying your hair all the colors of the rainbow, moron. I can't believe your step-mom didn't tell you this. She must not like you very much. Anyway... seriously, deal with the balding thing.

    And, your hair is DRY and will only get more dry if you start bleaching it blonde. Seriously, get a consult at your step-mom's salon and get some conditioning product.

    Seriously Arthur. You look like hell. Get on the stick, would you please?!

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  20. Must, stop, reading, twitter. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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  21. That whole hellooooo thing was done on Seinfeld like 10 years ago. Anyway can someone please tell me why the name Ron Hanson gets deleted right after its put up?

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  22. It's pretty funny that Arthur is going to this acting class in no different a position than he was in the previous class. What's he done that's so special in that amount of time? Hmmm... did some non-paid, totally amateur student film bit for ONE AFTERNOON, and got the part in a trailer for a pilot for something that has .005% chance of going anywhere. Still no speaking lines that anyone anywhere can see.

    So he was "just the guy in Philadelphia Magazine" back then, but now is the guy "featured in Gawker, Down By The Hipster, etc?"
    He was "featured" in all of these before the first acting class. Each of these sites did and continue to do nothing but mock and make fun of him. Not really the thing I'd want to be known for. Same goes for any radio interviews.

    And so now Sharon is a "great actor" too? Let's see her IMDB page! Let's see what makes her so great!

    Finally, a big laugh at Arthur saying that him doing a one off fashion show in someone's restaurant is comparable to Ryan Seacrest hosting American Idol, or Heidi Klum hosting Project Runway. WTF... Those people are doing that in front of a global audience, gettting paid millions for it. I really fail to see how that is at all comparable to a cheap fashion show.

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  23. nice link to the radio show, dumbass. Why not give the credit to the dude who provided the link to the readers here. Admit you stole it, pig.

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  24. LOL - look at his latest twitter bragging about having an agent. If it's true, SCORE! All they got you was an auto parts store audition.

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  25. Cant wait to see his next kween vid.

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  26. "@ArthurKade: I'm the best looking guy here by far, but is that what they want. Are my looks hurting me on auditions?"

    Arthur, let me help you out there with these heavy, existential thoughts. a.) you are not the best looking guy there, so no worries on that front; b.) interestingly, your looks ARE hurting you on auditions - see my previous post about skin, hair, and wrinkles. You really need to invest in your personal care routine stat.

    And hey, I have a Twitter feed too... I have 900+ followers, even though I am a nobody. So you must have way more, since you dominate Kade style and everything... oh, wait. You only have 432. Weird.

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  27. Hmmm ... check out this comment on the page ....

    http://arthurkade.com/?attachment_id=3758#comment-58806

    I copied and pasted since I'm sure it will be taken down

    # Daniel McDadeon 08 Sep 2009 at 4:04 pm edit this
    Gets it in? Daniel, you obviously wrote that yourself. While I believe you may have bought abortions, we all know the truth about you.
    The girl you beat up.
    The girl you raped.
    I would name names but they are nice girls and have nothing to do with this. Now that your boys are growing up, you have no one to “get it in” with. So you are using Arthur because you are such a wannabe.
    You two probably go together nicely: two laid off insurance salesmen with major coke problems.
    This Arthur Kade game is old and the only Northeast trash left that will hang out with you is Danny McDade.
    That speaks volumes.

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  28. new voicemails on his blog. Classic shit. Leave some people....

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  29. @Matt
    I see you have an admirer over there

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  30. Beauchamp -- you're a sell-out bitch. I read your recent post on arthurkade.com -- stop kissing his ass!

    Why post your address? Do you want Kade to pay you a visit in Austin so he can do you Kade- style?

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  31. anonymous @ 5:33 = Kade

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  32. If Kade had any brains at all he would take that shit off his site.

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  33. What the deal Matt? Did someone google your name? Talkin mad shit about you on douchebag's site.

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  34. I have an audition for a major hardware store...they need someone to play a piece of wood.

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  35. If Kade had brains.. that's a BIG if.

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  36. Not as big as his nose, nothing's that big...Jesus Christ.

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