9/15/09

Guest Blog Written For DatingIsMiserable.com


"Kadeing" is the most offensive thing in a world of offensive things.  More bullshit from Arthur Kadyshes...

Here is the post that I wrote for Amanda Carpenter (Author of her own blog in San Francisco who looks like she is a 6 in her picture with pretty eyes and an Iowa looking face, but potentially chubby soft body from not dieting and “Drinking too much”) from DatingIsMiserable.com. She had it up yesterday, and will have new guest bloggers over there all week, so check it out. I yold her on Twitter today I should have my own dating advice column called “Ask Kadey”. I think her readers were probably blown away by my “Superior” dating techniques, and this is why I get to hang with models and fellow “A List” Celebs like I did last night at the VMA parties in NYC and make out with a couple random hotties like only Arthur Kade can. I also had a couple videos with my speech coach that show the tremendous progress I have made with my lisp, and the TR and DR sounds. I still have my old hair in the videos, which brought a smile to my face because I look so Italian, but my new surfer look is growing on me, and getting the reaction from models and Shane that I did tells me that I have the looks, versatility, and courage to pull it off for “The Journey”.
My name is Arthur Kade, and I am an actor, celebrity, and have my own famous blog calledArthurKade.com where I detail my life and everything that happens in it whether it’s amazing or ugly, and have gained worldwide recognition for selling my six-figure a year financial planning practice and taking 3 years off to pursue my dream of becoming an award winning actor. I have been featured on every type of social and print media you can imagine including Philadelphia Magazine, Gawker, Down By The Hipster, Philly Chit Chat, The Insider, etc.. and have conducted interviews on well known talk shows and radio stations all around the world. I party with celebrities, am followed by A List artists and people in “The Biz”, and I am a sensation that is redefining what I call “The Biz”, and believe that I will be an Oscar winning actor, and will do it The Kade way. I live my life at the highest and most elite levels, and this is what people refer to as “Kade Style”. All the while, I let people in to my thoughts, my world, and the way I am changing, inspiring and redefining the way things work, and doing it all just being Arthur Kade. My journey, is called “The Journey”, and it shows all of the emotional, professional, sexual, and spiritual changes that I am going through, and how I have gone in 6 months from East Coast Socialite and professional to Rising Actor and Soon to Be “A List” Celeb (Many people in “The Biz” comment that I am doing things at a speed and velocity that no one has ever done this, and my acting style is compared to Vince Vaughn and Christian Bale). I also have a famous rating scale of girls that is called the Kade Scale, and is known around the world.
Amanda contacted me and asked me to do a guest blog on her site because she is a long time fan/follower of “The Journey” (She is in San Fran, and she follows me, and my blog is followed around the world by everyone, and growing like a virus everyday) about advice to “The Nice Guy”, and how he can land more girls. Here are some of my thoughts for landing 9’s and 10’s that you want to sleep with, but not necessarily date (If you are looking for a genuine girl to wife, then this may not work, but if you want a girl that is “Stripper Hot” that a nice guy would never land then send me a BIG thank you note after reading this):
1) Talk like you have have a huge cock-Most nice guys are complete and utter losers, and don’t possess the good looks or charm that someone like Arthur Kade has. I have dated supermodels, famous and powerful girls, so when I talk to a girl, I own her mentally. I never let her know that I care, or that I will ever take her seriously, because as soon as you do that then they lose interest. Own them by making them want you, and don’t be scared to tell them to go off (Especially if they are a 9 or 10) because they will want you more. The less you care, the better the blow job.
2) Be seen with a 9 or 10 in Public-Girls want to know that you have fucked the best, so you have to be seen with the best. Even if you have never dated a hot girl, then rent one and make sure everyone sees you with one. When I was in high school, I was “The Ugly Duckling”, but I started hanging around with the hottest girl in the school, and even though we were just friends, I ended up crushing so much quality because girls would say, “If Arthur can pull her, then there must be something we don’t know”, and the girls were lining up for some Kadeing (The process of having sex with Arthur Kade). make sure the girl is “Stripper Hot” (Megan Fox) and not “Mother Hot” (Angelina Jolie), because super hot girls always want to one-up other super hot girls, and will take you in a bathroom and have sex just to walk out and know they won.
3) Don’t be George Clooney, be Dennis Rodman- Most guys all look the same and dress the same , and this will land you some girls because average girls want a “Solid and dependable” guy, and suits and regular outfits will get you the same girl in reverse. If you want a 9 or 10, then stick out!! Be a trend setter, and don’t be afraid to stick out because the more other guys hate on you, the more girls will want you, and will think you are confident in your abilities to bring it to them, “Kade Style”. Wear bright colors, hot hats, skinny jeans, and act like when you walk in a room, P.Diddy is right next to you saying, “Damn that outfit is hot”. I can get almost any 9 or 10 I want because when I walk in a room girls say, “Wow he’s gorgeous, but his outfit is so cool and different” and you want girls thinking you are a trendsetter like me. The George Clooney type gets married, while the Rodman type gets their brains fucked out.
4) Live “Kade Style”- I wrote a blog on my site about the true definition of “Kade Style” which is doing and living things that the “General Population” (Gen Pop as I call it) don’t, and hot girls want to be at the hottest clubs, at the best table, and with a “Made Man” in the socialite circles, so when you meet a 9 or 10, the you need to stop the “Where do you work?” and “What do you do?”, and go with, “I know the owners at Avenue, want to go there and party?”, or “I don’t wait in lines, that’s for losers”, and walk her right in a club. If you don’t have that pull ahead of time, then make friends with club owners, managers, and bouncers ahead of time, spend a night dropping some money there, and make sure the connects are in place so you look like Arthur Kade when you are escorted in to Dusk when you are at a celeb table with Nick Lachey, Robin Thicke and Kristin Cavalleri.
5) Be an Asshole- Many people in “The Biz” refer to me as “The New Bad Boy of Acting” because of how polarizing and controversial I am, but in the end I think like a guy and put it all out there like no one ever has, but still work my ass off to be the best actor in the world because that is the dream, and hot girls love that when they meet me, they automatically think, “I wonder f he’s rating me?”, “I’m not good enough for Arthur Kade”, and my favorite, “He thinks he’s so hot, he would never talk to me”, but as soon as you do, then you can pop the champagne that night because she’s already down.
6) Michael Jordan Syndrome- Hot girls want guys who know they are the best, and that’s what made MJ so great, he knew there were people that could out-jump, out shoot, and out talent him, but in the 4th quarter, he knew no one could out-believe MJ, and that’s what make him the best. When you meet a 9 or 10, you have to have in your mind that your a legend, and they want you to be their #1 draft pick that night, not the other way around, and make them give you a big contract like sex to seal the deal.
These are a few tips that I wanted give Amanda’s Fans, but feel free to come over toArthurKade.com and follow “The Journey”, and all of my contact info is there. Kade Out!

21 comments:

  1. Medium African ChildSeptember 15, 2009 at 8:18 AM

    Dear Mother Amanda

    In Medium African Child Village we worship Father Arthur because he speak his mind and tell truths that all mens think but none is willing to say. Only last week, we hold competition for prize of six goats and last case of hot pockets for woman in village who is stripper hot, but none of our womens want to enter and so we award prize to ourselves and eat goat and hot pocket all night long. We get very drunk and have good time.

    Next mornings we discover that all womens in village have run away and moved to village many many mile away over savannah - so we all walk many mile mile over savannah to ask our womens why they leave. Apparently, we all sexist douchebags and mens in this viullage have tight buns and make womens laugh and hold hut curtain open for womens when they want go out and this is what womens want. I never understand them.

    I am sending you much consideration and loves for letting dear Father Arthur write your blog. He is better at it than you.

    Loves,


    Medium African Child

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's what we had to say over at DatingIsMiserable.com:

    Amanda,

    You’d serve your readers well by pointing out the myriad lies written by Arthur Kadyshes in this drivel that he wrote. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t make your blog look so great to be giving a platform to someone who is just going to lie his way through something.

    Here are a few items within his piece above that are blatant lies, and why they are lies:

    1. “…and have conducted interviews on well known talk shows and radio stations all around the world” – This is a lie. Arthur Kadyshes has never been interviewed by any radio station or media outlet outside of the United States. To date, he has been interviewed by: The Danny Bonaduce Radio Show (Philadelphia), TheMensView.com (itunes podcast), A CW television interview (Philadelphia), and radio stations in Charlotte, NC, Panama City, FL, and now Atlanta, GA. He constantly claims to have been interviewed by media outlets around the world, but it’s all a lie. Why is it a lie? Because he’d have blogged incessantly about an international interview if it had occurred.

    2. “I live my life at the highest and most elite levels, and this is what people refer to as “Kade Style” ” – Using shopping bags as luggage, sleeping on friend’s filthy floors, wearing cheap slogan t-shirts that are not even cool for 12 year olds, getting your hair dyed to look like a clown, and and lying constantly about what you have achieved in life is not “elite.” It’s trashy, and it’s pathetic.

    3. “Many people in “The Biz” comment that I am doing things at a speed and velocity that no one has ever done this, and my acting style is compared to Vince Vaughn and Christian Bale” Nobody has ever said this to Arthur Kadyshes. He just tells himself this. Why would anyone with credibility and a reputation EVER say such a thing about a person who has only been an extra? He has not acted in anything that has been seen by any audience, well, unless you consider his YouTube videos, in which case – have you seen them? Can you honestly admit anyone would be impressed by that, or feel the validity in calling him a rising star?

    4. You have to consider the irony of a guy posting dating advice on your site when he has said numerous times that he “does not date.” If you’ve read enough of his blog, you’d realize that he has built himself into a corner of NEVER dating or interacting with women more than socially. He says it’s a waste of time. One day he’ll say he wants an impressionable younger mid 20s girl who he can “mold” into whatever he wants, and that women over 30 are a lost cause if they are still single, and the next day he’ll say that he doesn’t like young girls because they’re inexperienced sexually, and don’t have the experiences to have a worldly view of things. He doesn’t date because it’s a waste of time – the whole process of questions, getting to know each other, etc, and then he’ll tell you that no girl is good enough for him to sleep with because his standards are too high.

    He has not been on a date or been with a woman at all this year. THIS YEAR. Maybe I see your point in allowing him to write a post on here. If this dating guide is really what he believes, then I hope your readers do the exact opposite of what he is saying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That would be a glob of your semen in your throat. Cough it back up, it was actually funny when it posted.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my God! A speech impediment we didn't even know about! It'll go well with the shitty lithp and the Philly accent. And why is he posting vocal classes from a few days ago?

    And he's just twittered that he wants to make Tom Brady part of his journey. To chug his cock?

    Man, if I was on a dry streak like Kade I might do something extreme, but not that extreme.

    CUNTOUT!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Will someone please just fight Kade already?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I pose to you this question: How can a person be the new "bad boy of acting" when that person has not acted in anything that has been watched by anyone in which they spoke any lines?

    How can that be possible?

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ The Doc

    Anything is possible in deludo-world.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I can't believe he said I have an Iowa Face. The rest is probably pretty true. I'm totally your average girl next door who has more interesting things to do than spend my time in the gym. IOWA FACE?!?!? WTF

    ReplyDelete
  9. hey hamster brain - clooney is not married!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ya no shit. Clooney is the perfect example of a perpetual bachelor. I think that Artie gets confused because Clooney wears a suit and Rodman dresses like a clown. Don't look good when you are going out, dress like an f'ing asshole. Ya that'll get the girls.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @ Amanda...

    I know some people in Iowa. Real nice they are, somewhat homely though. You do not look like you’re from Iowa. No offence meant to anyone from or in or near Iowa. (Most of them are corn fed, wouldn’t want to get them upset. Hillbilly strong, smarter than most)

    ReplyDelete
  12. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlSeptember 15, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    Wait....what?
    I saw Amanda's pic on her website, and she is an attractive lady. And WTF does an Iowa Face mean?
    Oh wait, I guess starving yourself and having that "coked-out/suckin' too much dick" look is preferable? Nah, fuck that shit!
    Amanda, don't sweat it. You're a hottie and well, just look at Artie and his pathetic existance. And as for the gym, you can tell he ain't hittin' it hard!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Kego has a Mr. Snuffleufflegus face. Add to that the old joke; his face was on fire and they put it out with an ice pick. Eyebrows that look like a relief map of some mountain range. Lips like a dry lakebed. And he’s ugly with a long U. (Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisp)

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Amanda - Kade is total and complete BULLSHIT (which I know you know). It is hilarious that a.) someone whose face is sallow, greasy and full of acne, b.) someone whose hair is BALDING (that's right, Arthur, I said it) and is now a hideous shade of blonde, c.) someone who is completely misproportioned and oddly shaped, with gigantic shoulders and skinny little chicken legs, d.) someone who has OBVIOUSLY had a disasterous bout at the plastic sugeon when it comes to his crooked beak of a nose (plus his nasty health habits, i.e. wearing the same clothes over and over, sleeping in his clothes, bad breath, nasty, bitten-to-the-quick bloody finger nails and cuticles)... that THIS person has the balls to say anything about anyone else's appearance on the planet.

    One: STFU Arthur. You're a fuckwit.
    Two: @Amanda, you're adorable. Arthur has dimwitted, delusional ideas of beauty that are really based in his deep seated hatred of women, which is based in his childhood abandonment issues - he is acting out the anger and loathing he has for his trashy mother who walked away when he was a baby and left him to starve and fight for survivial with his sick, elderly grandmother.

    Oh and Arthur? You can suck it, arsehole. We all know you are a poor, illiterate, unemployed, unimportant, unknown, foolish clown monkey whose friends have abandoned him and who is now running up and down the East coast as various people punk you and the rest of us laugh. Suck it jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  15. There are three overpowering facts that I take great solace in every single day:

    Arthur will NEVER act in anything witnessed by a mainstream audience.

    Arthur will NEVER act in anything that is nominated for an Oscar.

    Arthur will NEVER, EVER, EVER win an Oscar.

    We should all smile collectively about that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. @ The Doc

    This gives me great comfort.....and lets hope the light at the end of his tunnel is a freight train.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You guys should do a chart of the number of comments for each Kade post, so that we could see the falloff in graphic form.

    ReplyDelete
  18. @Amanda, take that shit with a grain of salt. People in glass houses with awful skin, coked-out eyes, anal breath and debillitating lisps should not throw stones.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Arthur kade is the most deeply offensive person i have come across in my entire life.

    @The Doc, that does give me a little peace of mind, but i cant help but hope somebody gives him a healthy dose of reality with a good curb stomping.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wait.

    I'm still loving how he describes it as "the process of having sex with Arthur Kade."

    ReplyDelete
  21. Amanda makes Large African Child even larger!

    ReplyDelete