8/28/09

Arthur Kade Thinks He's a Comedian Now!

The voices in Arthur Kade's head are getting very busy! Looks like they're telling him he's in the same category as Eddie Murphy, Dave Chapelle, and Richard Pryor simply because of the terribly annoying "Kween" character he is "developing." A prime time network show centered around a mutant hybrid of Mr. Belvedere and Queen Elizabeth? Oh Arthur, you're always good for a laugh now and again, but you are still a complete fool.

The latest from ArthurKade.com:

People all over the world are going bananas over the new amazing character that I am developing to the point where people are saying “HEELLLOOO Bitches” on the street and even texting me “Yo Man, I’m dying laughing. I woke up doing that voice Helllllo bitchessss hahah”, and want me to continue to develop “IT” (I use IT because it is a combination of Mr. Belvedere and Queen Elizabeth, so it can’t be a man or woman) to the point of making a monologue and SNL skit out of it (People are calling me “Top 5 funniest guys on the Internet” showing that my tremendous acting chops extend to comedy as well, and putting me into the class of greats like Eddie Murphy, Dave Chapelle, and Richard Pryor and “The Journey” into the leagues of “Raw” and “Chapelle’s Show”) or even having a prime time network show centered around the character and it’s adventures or even a Bruno style movie. I have decided to call the character “The Kween” (A play with The Queen, but putting a “K” in the front for Kade).

“I wasn’t born to do great things. I was born to change the world so others do “GREATER” things….Arthur Kade 08/28/09

Here is the latest installment and pictures from NYC: (Editors Note: We're not posting the photos - it's just the same old same old: hotel photos, pictures with strangers, and utterly random street shots. BORING!)

77 comments:

  1. repeating over and over "hello bitches" puts you in Chapelle's league?

    you sad, sad little man.

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  2. Damn man, you're doing that in public???

    That's just what diners want around them - a freak!

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  3. Is this the "what's about to happen" he's boasting about twitter?

    LMAO

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  4. Wow Arthur so original, an effeminate little pussy pretends to be something he is not on the internet.

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  5. This is not "Funny." It is "Not" funny. It "Is" not funny. It is "Sad."

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  6. LOL - he can't even stay in character! He's got to drop out there at about 54 seconds in to say "don't shake the camera" or something like that.

    What a complete moron. Why people are not escaping that table like it's on fire is beyond comprehension.

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  7. This is the kind of people I have to deal with when I go to Parc or Rouge.. I like those places.. but fucking Kade, Boonswang Piazza and the rest of the sosciopathic posse crowd that place like diseased cockroaches..

    Man if there was a bylaw that allowed you to murder Douche's I would have a field day in Philly..

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  8. Chees and x, bitches.

    Unfunny, boring, juvenile, and CREEPY as fuck. That sums you up, Art.

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  9. Last time I checked, Murphy and Pryor were themselves and did not rely on doing characters. Chapelle did the Rick James thing, which I'm sure is what drove him insane due to all the Kade-esque a-holes that repeated "I'm Rick James, bitch" ad infinitum ad nauseum.

    I'm still waiting on some sort of succinct reason or explanation as to why Kang or The Rimmer has this need to defend Kang or Kade. To date, nothing from either one holds any weight or any logic.

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  10. It was funny the first time, I'll give him that, solely because of the complete absurdity of it and the fact that it's the first time I've seen Arthur "act" like anyone other than Arthur Kade reading aloud.

    The second time--it was just strange. Now it's beginning to get monotonous. Most successful characters have more than 2 lines that they repeat incessantly.

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  11. FYI, Art - SNL will NEVER accept anything from you. They have writers who are light-years (even when awful) ahead of whatever diarrheaic phlegm you call talent.

    "Top 5 Funniest Guys"? Who are the other 4? I think are is misinterpreting the definition of 'funny.'

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  12. This is proof that 'The Journey' is a fucking joke. Most actors would probably be at home working on their aspirations or doing whatever it is to make their proverbial bones. In other words, they'd be doing something relevant. Then we have Art who thinks that going to a cafe with a video camera and adopting the most annoying and infantile 'thpeech impedimenth' makes him one of the 'Top 5 funniest guys' on the internet. Jeezus, someone kick this guy in the dick!

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  13. "Funny' was the word my mother when she was warning me to stay away from the 'funny' man who lived in our street.

    He was later arrested for buggering choirboys.

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  14. Legowig:
    You guys have taken all the fun out of Arthur Kade, sorry to say. You've killed it.

    I'm sure there are people out there who actually HATE Arthur Kade, but I'm assuming most people are like me - he's an idiot, delusional, and, yet, he's fun to read. Say what you want, but his blog never riled me up - it instead provided consistent entertainment on a day-to-day basis, both in the blog and the comments.

    Now, by taking everyone away from that blog, it's not as entertaining. And blindly listing names of everyone he hangs out with? That's low.

    It was a fun game and you guys ruined it, sorry to say.

    (P.S. if Kade had any brains, he'd send a message to blogspot noting how you're violating "Fair Use Policy").

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  15. Hard to hold a camera steady when you're carnival-esque chemical implants are getting in the way, huh G-N? Even in silence, you're a toolbox.

    And Kade? What. The. Eff.

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  16. Actually, Arthur started heavily moderating BEFORE this blog came about which is why many of the funnier commenters were leaving. So, they were leaving one way or another, this way they just had a spot to congregate. Arthur ruined his own blog.

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  17. Where do I begin??

    Art, you don't understand that people laughing AT you is not the same as being funny. I laugh at people falling down, but that doesn't mean they are funny.

    Bob Clairemont, you got your thing and we got our thing. You are free to look at Cock Gobbler's site and never come back here. Free country. See ya.

    Gotta give a shout out to the The Big Legowski for making me laugh out loud at that name. I think I read it 3 times before realizing it didn't say LeBOWski.

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  18. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlAugust 28, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    Being humorous is something you're born with, like an artist, that you keep molding with time.
    And just because you throw in Bitches doesn't mean it's funny either. Sounds like a little boy discovering profanity and overkilling it.

    Hmmm, Labor Day is coming up....I bet ole Artie will be going to AC, boating with lounge singer in Brigantine and going to the SAME clubs. Hey, anyone know if The Irish Pub is still around in AC? Been years since I've been there. Artie, why not go have a drink in some local spots.....oh wait, you ain't man enough huh?

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  19. If Arthur Kade is such a douchebag, what does that make the person shadowing his every move, following his twitters, reading his posts word for word, and devoting countless hours to creating this blog?
    Arthur is a douchbag, granted, but think of how much more you could accomplish if you put this much time and energy into something worthwhile.
    I visited this blog for a laugh, but now I believe the creator is just as worse, if not more, than the target of it's ridicule.
    You should shadow and devote your time to someone who is making a positive influence on the world. I presume you are a very sad individual, and have way too much time on your hands to be this obsessed with a complete stranger, douchey or not.

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  20. That video is just creepy. It's not funny. It's not original. It's not anything.

    Fuck.

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  21. I like to balance the time I spend reading about Arthur with following the inspirational teachings of the likes of Martin Luther King Jr, Mahatma Ghandi and Michael Jordan...

    As well as drinking beer and watching bikini mud wrestling on cable.

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  22. @Anon 9:57am...

    You know nothing about this blog. There's a bunch of people who spend very little time because of a division of labor. Instead of being a time consuming obsession it's just a goofy website to mock a complete asshole. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, don't read too much into this site.

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  23. @ anon

    What you don't know is this blog was created because we were all banned and for the few that could get a comment thru, he would mod the hell out of it or change the post totally.

    If he did not do all of the above, I bet we would all still be there.

    Sorry you don't find this place funny, I on the other hand have had the most fun since this blog was started and what a relief it is to not have to use / between each letter of every word. Was that your idea of fun?

    Hangin'

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  24. Thank god his face is blacked out of that video. I can't take the voice and the face at the same time. Just can't.

    Hangin'

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  25. as anon 9:49 put it so well, Arthur ruined his own blog.

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  26. If I'm getting the right impression here, this blog exists to prevent Arthur from going anywhere with any level of actual success in the acting world. It's meant to expose all of his disgusting opinions of women to the point that no one will want to work with him because, aside from being talentless, he's a total liability and it makes you sick to be around him.

    I think, and I hope, that is the primary point of this blog.

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  27. @ Kathy

    That would be correct.

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  28. shit she disappearedAugust 28, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    Oh Artzits. While I appreciate the effort, there is no need for you to get THAT creative with inserting your used tampon of a last name into the word queen. Every time I read the name Kade, I immediately think "queen".

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  29. @ Kathy
    And to call out G-N Kunt. For being a douchbag conduit...the Amazon river from which all Philly dickheads branch off in tributary.

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  30. shit she disappearedAugust 28, 2009 at 10:44 AM

    There are two likely explanations to the Kween videos:

    1. A new voice has emerged in Kadipshits' overcrowded mind. This new personality, the kween, is fighting the feces tossing monkey persona over control of KAIDS body. The Kween is the lowest of the low, a bottom feeder in KAIDS subconcious that has seen in the monkey's desperation to keep his audience an opening to come out to the surface. Judging by the "menacing" t-rex stand Kadypshits goes into when the Kween surfaces, my guess is that she is one violent bitch, and will be responsible for the triple murder suicide that ends the journey.

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  31. Sam "Teeth That Could Destroy You" PhillipsAugust 28, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    Hahahah, because "Kween" definitely includes aspects of the word Mr. Belvedere and Queen Elizabeth.

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  32. shit she disappearedAugust 28, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    2. The other likely option. The ogran grinder is PISSED that the monkey fucked up the shitshow. Yes, he had gone rogue earlier, but his crazed antics could still lead to some fame. His moronic moderation however, has endangered the whole enterprise and what's worse, the new site is exposing what G Kunt has been trying to hide all this time (aside from tucked in dick). So, she walks into the dungeon where she keeps KAIDs and cattle prods him into performing the Kween as punishment and as a desperate attempt to retain comments.

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  33. @Dr. Engine

    You know, I thought for a moment this site had gotten back on track.

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  34. I don't really see what Mr. Belvedere did to deserve being dragged into all of this. I don't remember him being big into cheese or anything like that.

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  35. @ I rim GN
    oh we're on track, honey. We're right on track.

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  36. You just stole the "heeelllooo" from a Seinfeld episode and added bitches. God you are honestly retarded.

    I still think I Rim is Doug. Hey Doug, I have rap for you.
    Get fucked. Word.

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  37. With comments like "G Kunt"? Attempting to attack AK's misogyny with your own? Sorry, dude. Not funny.

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  38. @J Bone
    Um....no one gives a shit what you think.

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  39. @ He's Enormous

    I agree. Mr. Belevedere worked very hard to kick his ecstasy habit and here comes Kade, dragging it all up again.

    Mr. B - if you're reading this, we're pulling for ya! Say no to the cheese and the X!!!!!

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  40. Kunt is mysogynist? In what world? Not to mention the fact that I care less about Kade's mysogyny than I do his egomaniacal douchebaggery.

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  41. Did you hear that? I thought I just heard something, but I guess not.

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  42. Interesting you didn't deny it. If someone accused me of being Doug Slifkin I would go fucking mental. Break everything in my office.

    Wait, can someone accuse me of being Doug? I forget what blind rage feels like.

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  43. Awesome site, man. Still, I'll miss asking Arthur to cut out his eyes, or peel off his skin.

    Maybe I'll just write stories here about how awesome his mom is in bed, despite having flippers instead of arms.

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  44. @KAIDS...

    He reads our site more than his own. Read us and you'll see he usually has a blog that incorporates something from our comments the next day.

    True story.

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  45. @MC 900:

    Awesome. Now, if only "A Glob of Arthurs Semen" would contribute. He/she was the fucking best.

    Kudos on this site.

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  46. Arhtur master of all things douche please try growing a beard again, a classy goatee would be nice.

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  47. One of the worst, most uncomfortable feelings that I've experienced in my life is that feeling of being embarrassed for someone...you know that cringy sensation you get when say, your friend has period blood on the back of her pants, or your brother in laws balls are hanging out the side of his shorts...watching that Kween video was like being hit with a tidal wave of that feeling, and I'm gonna feel awkward for the rest of the day. fuck.

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  48. @TDanza...

    No way. Cock Gobbler would look terrible with ANY kind of facial hair. Despite his Greek/Italian swarthiness I gotta guess his facial hair would grow in like chicken pox... random and spaced far apart. Not to mention he strikes me as more of a Twink than a Bear. Which is odd considering his Russian heritage would equate him with a Bear. Man, this is all so confusing, but whatever, my theory is he'd look TERRIBLE with any kind of facial hair.

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  49. Just had a chance to watch that video again. Yikes. It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

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  50. Remember that episode of Mr Belvedere where Mr Belvedere gives Wesley cheese and ecstasy? Classic!

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  51. So... he is now boasting about doing a bad impersonation of Mrs. Doubtfire?!?!?! HAHAHAHA!!! Awesome.

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  52. Yes I remember when he grew one for a few days and it was patchy and sparse but you have to figure everything he does is to one up his deuchemanship so I think a goatee is a must.

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  53. Great Twitter update Arthur!

    "A Kid told me he had a bully. i told him to punch him in the mouth. mom said she doesn't promote violence. hence the bully"

    Really responsible Arthur, besides the obvious reasons that you will never have children (no woman will ever allow you to "wife" them and "impregnate" them) you would obviously be a terrible role model.

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  54. @ Mr. Vomit
    Caution. Kade may become a parent afterall. Never underestimate the stupidity of vapid G-N Kang-esque bimbos who would be more than willing to let Kade "have sex with it."

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  55. a true A-lisp celebrity would have gotten their coffee comped......just sayin.

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  56. Guy at starbux just asked if I was arthur kade and I said yes. He said his girl worships me. Kade style. I wish he wouldve comped my coffee33 minutes ago from UberTwitter

    That never happened

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  57. Guy at Starbux just asked If I was gay and I said yes. He said his penis worships me. Kade style. I wish he would have compromised my quivering anus. 33 minutes ago from reality

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  58. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlAugust 28, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    When I worked at Starbucks years ago, I would comp coffee for the hot guys. They'd leave the best tips. Perhaps you're just a ugly fuck Artie.

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  59. Today, we are all Doug Slifkin.

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  60. "His name is Douglas Slifkin. His name is Douglas Slifkin. His name is...."

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  61. Hey guys, creator of this blog here... I promised a huge story at 9pm West Coast time yesterday... but my email contact didn't get back to me in time... And I'm on call today until 7am tomorrow. Perhaps tonight, unless something comes up, I'll go back through my emails and write the story up. I'm using informants that know Kade in real life for the story, and they handn't emailed to confirm my story until today. Well, I checked the email and the goodies are there... I just need to write it up.

    Check the blog tonight...

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  62. "Who among you is Doug Slifkin?"

    "I am Doug Slifkin!"

    "No! I am Doug Slifkin!"

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  63. "The greatest trick Doug Slifkin ever pulled is making the world believe he didn't exist."

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  64. I'm sorry. I had a couple of minutes to kill and I was bored. :-P

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  65. That's cool "Lego Wig Kade"; we, or at least I, appreciate the hard work you guys (and gals?) do in making this blog teh Awesome. Looking forward to the bombshell post!

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  66. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  67. @Lego Wig Kade
    Please let it somehow implicate G-N. Please let it somehow implicate G-N. Please let it somehow implicate G-N. (hands clasped in prayer)

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  68. Shut down this site.

    4chan has spoken.

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  69. I'll se your 4chan and raise you a 5chan and a pair of fake tatas.


    Kade out.

    If he is ever the subject of a script I would love to see directions like that in it.

    KADE IN

    Scene: A disgusting stained room in a low-rent apartment. The dim light is filtered as though through a sheen of grease.

    SFX: high pitched whine growing louder, like a blowfly in a glass jar being brought closer and closer to the ear...

    KADE OUT

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  70. 4chan has spoken? OK, Doug. This site seem like something they'd appreciate.

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  71. The voice on that character is terrible terrible terrible terrible. Just... awful. It just sounds sort of sad and homosexual and random.

    If he is going to come out of the closet, why doesn't he just OPEN THE DOOR AND COME OUT? Homosexuality is a positive advantage in the sort of circles he drifts through.

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  72. Kween = Old Monty Python. Done Badly.

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