8/27/09

The "Lego Wig Scale"

Hello readers, while Doucheboy and his surgically-enhanced sidekick/puppeteer are regrouping and trying to figure out a new blog post (must be exhausting, recycling the old shit over and over) I thought we might want to come up with a Lego Wig Scale to rate people. We're not just rating women.. in fact, we're going to look at more than just looks, since our readers are not pathetic junior-high-level losers like Arthur Kadyshes.

As readers know, Arthur Kadyshes is a repressed, disturbed person who enjoys rating women and making in-depth pronouncements about what is good and what is "disgusting" or "repulsive". He's given us such terms as "stripper hot" to describe his ideal woman. Most men do enjoy looking at women, but most aren't so painfully and obviously repressed. Even if they are, they don't broadcast it to the public in a desperate attempt to get attention, which is good because the last thing the world needs is more douchebags judging others. Since Kadyshes enjoyes rating women so much, we figured we'd give him a chance to see where he really stacks up.


Rate this rapey-eyed guy and help start the LEGO WIG SCALE!

In our scale, Angelina Jolie is a definite 10--for being a natural and unique beauty, but also for her humanitarian work, dedication to parenting, and taking on some pretty interesting roles and "dominating" them. (Sorry, I couldn't help that pun....)

Also in our scale, Bernard Madoff is a 1. Another example would be Lizzie Grubman. People who sponge off of others, commit criminal acts, and then expect society to forgive them. These people are only famous for being materialistic scam artists and douchebags... like Kade, but much more "successful".

In the spirit of this blog, we should be sure to include Kade's enablers. I wonder how El Lego Wig would feel if we rate his step-mom (seems vapid, sucks at giving haircuts, talks like a FOB), his Cackling Friend Marissa Rosen (remember those videos where she's cackling?), his Enabler in Chief G-N Kang, etc. Have at it in the comments....

Bonus Feature -- a reader sent in this video, which looks like Kade's Crew practicing to party at one of their douchespots in Atlantic City... check it out!   

51 comments:

  1. Acne
    Asymmetrical nose with giant nostrils
    Rapey eyes
    Eyebrows that look like caterpillars
    Chapped lips that bleed
    Ear hair
    Balding Hair
    Constant bad breath
    Spittle in corner of mouth
    Chicken legs

    Hates women
    Berates women
    Rates women


    Remind us again Arthur why you insist that you are a 10?

    ReplyDelete
  2. As you sort of predicted that Kade would use the death of Ted Kennedy for some truly outrageous Brand comparison, let's venture that he blogs about the Britney show. I'm willing to bet he'll say he went but there were so many people there (i.e., could not get in) that his presence would take away from Britney's night. So being the balls-ass amazing gentlemen he is, he declined to attend as to not steal any of Brit's thunder. You know, that courtesy between two 'professionals'...

    ReplyDelete
  3. R those body suits they are wearing - notice how they don't come untucked out of their pants no matter how the fat pulls on them. LEgo wig scale 1.2 .....total between the 2.

    Nice man-pris on the one in the white.

    Hangin'

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just checked our site's data and wanted to share the results with our loyal readers who prefer our "brand" to Kadyshes' garbage. Our Google Analytics account says we are up to over 13,000 page views now... we're growing rapidly every day. For example, we have 4 times the numbe of visitors we had on Monday... and we've doubled since Tuesday. At some point we will top out, but we're still growing rapidly, keep spreading the word!!

    We're crushing Kade.

    Thanks, readers!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marissa Rosen kind of looks like a grown up version of that robotic daughter from Small Wonder.

    So, the breakdown is:

    Looking like a robot - 10
    Looking like a robot but not actually being one - 0

    Averaged out that brings her to a 5.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Sneak Attack... no accounting for the raspy voice?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Furman - Bad 50's hair and always has her chin tucked in her neck for pics, thinks she's gods gift to men. deduction of 5 points for the above, so she get a 4 from Hangin' and that is exactly what it does when I look at her pics.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Let it also be known that in only a week, we are showing approximately 1,200 unique visitors viewing this site. Not too bad! The LegoWig Brand has certainly been a hit in a very short time. Onward and upward!

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Sneak Attack & @Anonymous ... or for peeing in broad daylight in a parking lot, letting your friend record it for posterity, and then posting it to YouTube? Such high class...

    ReplyDelete
  10. the friend of Kade/Kang that went to the bathroom in a public parking lot was Marissa Rosen? or was it Lindsay Furman? I saw the video but I couldn't make out which one it was.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ugh, just look at that fucking picture. Can you believe that guy honestly believes he is attractive?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Top 5 US States for Page views:
    1. Pennsylvania
    2. NY
    3. CA
    4. Illinois (Chicago, I'm guessing)
    5. Texas

    Internationally
    1. US (by far... 10x the visits of UK)
    2. UK
    3. Canada
    4. Australia
    5. Spain

    (note: I guess Greece and Italy don't give a damn about Kade... 1 view from Italy, 0 from Greece)

    ReplyDelete
  13. the links in this post are awesome!!! keep doing that for future posts... A+ job!

    ReplyDelete
  14. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlAugust 27, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    Can I throw in putting Michael Vick in the scale as a vile 1 for what he did to the pitties? I'm a pitbull owner and an Eagle's fan and this whole shit with him being signed with the team and claiming he's changed pisses me off to no end. Put that fucker at the bottom of the list with the rest of them!

    Also, I nominate to put Kent on the list. There's something about him.......and I wouldn't pass up tokin' up with him.

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Anonymous ... I thought it was Marissa - it was hard to make out the face, but the laugh... it's, ah, shall I say, quite distinctive?

    ReplyDelete
  16. http://www.wired965.com/index.php?page=1492

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes, the video of Marissa Rosen pissing in a parking lot like a hobo was classic Kadette style. She reeks of Jersey trash.

    I partied hard for years and am proud to say that there is no footage of me pissing in public like street trash. She's definitely "that" kind of girl.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fuck I'm glad this sight exists. No more reading his feeble minded imposters' dipshit comments.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kent's a 9--cute, funny, creative, talented, interesting. If he could shake his obsession of Kade, he'd be a 10 (but who am I to talk?)

    ReplyDelete
  20. GN is now at least a 6 with her new lips

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'd like to know what Kent Osborne thought when Arthur walked in wearing Hamburgler pajamas, looking like a french retard.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Good lord, GN just keeps up with the plastic surgery, huh? She must have as much self esteem as our pal Artee.

    Artee! I have been telling you that you need Restalyne for the wrinkles on the sides of your mouth. Ask GN to hook you up with her doctor (just like you ask her to hook you up with everything else).

    ReplyDelete
  23. shit she disappearedAugust 27, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Ha. Kadypshits may have the plastic lego wig do, but it's G.N. Kang who has the lego body: squared, plastic, and attractive only to the underdeveloped (see: I rim G.N. Kang). These two brick heads are mirror images of each other. Unfortunately for Kadypshits, Kang happens to be in the saner side of the mirror while our zoolanderesque simpleton is off in his delusional, lego wig induced derranged world.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Have to agree with previous posters, Kent is a hottie. Way hotter than AK thats for damn sure and probably a great guy to be around. Unlike McDouchey who looks like he smells and will spit at you when he talks. Ewwwww.

    ReplyDelete
  25. shit she disappearedAugust 27, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    I just realized that it is a sad irony that Kaids has the lego head when the puppet master hs the lego body.

    ReplyDelete
  26. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlAugust 27, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    Anastasia

    How do you imagine McDouchey smelling like?
    I can invision him being totally drenched in Axe Body Spray on his outtings and his breath like how it is when you're high and all cotton-mouthed, with a bit of chemicals, poorly masked by Altoids Mints.

    I agree with you, Kent seems like he'd be much more fun to hang with. Let's make him tacos by the pool.

    ReplyDelete
  27. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlAugust 27, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    The more I see pix of this GN chic, she reminds me (kind of) of Meg from Family Guy, without the hat and glasses and more of a feminine body.

    ReplyDelete
  28. @TLC/VG

    I imagine horrible, crusty, greasy BO covered in a bottle of Drakkar. Basically, the stench of satan's bunghole......

    His breath - I agree. Cottony, with the hint of something rotting, covered in that white slime he always has at the corners of his mouth.

    Jebus, just typing that makes me want a shower and to brush my teeth.......

    ReplyDelete
  29. I want to rate Kade's video Balls Ass-edness.

    1. He constantly puts lame videos on youtube;
    2. Not even a retarded goat from Uzbekistan would find them amusing;
    3. He can't stop introducing himself ('Hi, everyone, it's me, Arthur Kade...'), even though we all know it's the fuck. Besides, nobody but us 'haters' even watches the garbage;
    4. He addresses us like we are his (I wanna say friends) fans. We all hate\pity him.
    5. His nose takes up half the screen when he is holding the camera. Hideous acne are also visible when this happens.
    6. There's nothing more to say. It has all been said over and over again.
    Fail, Kadyshes.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Forgot to mention, saw him in Rittenhouse Square a few weeks back and he was the shiniest mother f'er I ever saw. It was not even dusk yet and he glowed like the sun. I beelined across the street before I could get into whiff range, thank god.

    ReplyDelete
  31. shit she disappearedAugust 27, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    @Anastasia Beaverhousen

    What did you expect? Kadypshits Sr. must have been pretty close to the Chernobyl accident, which resulted in the mutant sperm necessary to conceive Kaids. That and a goat; I refuse to believe his mother is a biological female.

    Alternative hypothesis: Step mom's cheap ass, illegal hair products with radioactive waste in them. That would explain why Kadypshits is shiny and looks like he has Jeff Goldblum's skin in
    "The Fly".

    ReplyDelete
  32. shit she disappearedAugust 27, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    I mean, I refuse to believe that Kaids mother is a human female. Judging by his forehead it must have been a really ugly goat.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hmmm...
    Balding: -1
    Acne: -1
    Greasy skin: -1
    Sallow, washed out look: -1
    Gigantic, unmanscaped eyebrows: -1
    Eye bags: -1
    Chicken legs: -1
    Wierd Popeye arms (bigger, more muscular forearm v. biceps): -1
    No ass: -1
    Bad clothes: -1
    Dry, cracked lips: -1
    Unemployed: -1
    Illiterate: -1
    At last viewing, before his alleged August "super work outs" (read: double dosing on the steriods): small pot belly: -1
    If I had to guess, "backne" (back acne): -1
    Spits when he talks: -1

    ... yeah. Uh, not exactly hot. And we haven't even factored in your ass hat behavior, Artee.

    ReplyDelete
  34. And the nose. Well... we all know it's appalling. I just hope you got a good settlement from suing the plastic surgeon that did that to you, Lego.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Could you create a post where you explain who's who of Kade's crew by using videos he's posted?
    Like the Dance off!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcuKLguYUAo&feature=related

    I would be grateful!

    ReplyDelete
  36. @ shit she disappeared

    Don't flatter him! The Chernobyl incident happened in 1986. That would imply that he is 23 years old.
    He's more like forty.

    ReplyDelete
  37. shit she disappearedAugust 27, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    @The Entity

    Ha! True, true. I was thinking of his step mom's radioactive hairproducts and jumped off to imagine that his dad might have been aroudn chernobyl forgetting that Artzits was already around by then. In that case, his dad probably lived, at some point or another, by some sort of nuclear waste. Probably even took baths in it. There I go again flattering the Kadypshits. His dad has never taken a bath.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Man, it's really quiet at Art's site. And his twitter is getting cold!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm wondering why A has left the links for this blog on his site. Any ideas?

    Also, it's been almost 24 hours since his last post. What can this mean?

    ReplyDelete
  40. That Kang twat is almost as useless as Kade. I am always stunned to find out that these empty-headed morons actually make it through the day! We need a good catastrophe - like swine flu or anthrax - to wipe them out. Totally useless lumps of carbon.

    I feel my blood pressur rising when I see her moron, celebrity-fawning site. Ugh. Is that dink representative of Philly?

    No offense, but I've been to pretty much all of the biggest 20 cities in this country, and Philly is right down at the bottom. Sorry to those of you who live there and are cool. You might want to move!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Not fair to blame Philly for Kade's idiocy. Philly's a great city; it just happens to be inhabited by people like him, as is everywhere.

    Where is this video of Marissa peeing?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Tumbleweed rolling
    across Art's blog, silence but
    for his soft weeping.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Jihyun "GN" Kang

    http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tucson/a-hunk-of-stardom/Content?oid=1072797

    ReplyDelete
  44. Arthur's blog and her blog both use BlueHost (of Provo, Utah) as their website host.

    Odd coincidence.

    ReplyDelete
  45. On business sites, he is listing his age as 30. As of last month when the last update went up on LinkedIn and 123.

    ReplyDelete
  46. No Philly is pure shit.. no question..

    I live here..

    sucks balls.. all the nightclubs are filled with Kade type people and guido's.. all the girls are skanks... What do you expect? Philly could have been a city with a semblance of class/respect.. like DC or something.. but nope.. it's basically one of the shittiest places you can be.. With the shittiest people

    ReplyDelete
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