9/1/09

The Closeted Clown Contemplates a Haircut

Can a revolting creature that makes most people sick if they look at it actually make himself worse looking? You can help him decide! And a serious LOL moment in the video as Kade asks "will I look like a surfer, like Randy Slater?" RANDY SLATER??? We're pretty sure he meant Kelly Slater, in which case... YES Arthur! Yes! Tell your stylist you want to look exactly like Kelly Slater, becuase in case you didn't know, Kelly Slater has been shaving his head for years now! We are dying here...


The latest from arthurkade.com:

After an amazing consultation with the top colorist at my Parent’s Hair salon, she gives me feedback on how we will do my hair for the Filming of the show I got cast for that I am a principal in. We have decided not to go the bleach route because it destroys your hair, and I have “Incredibly Beautiful” hair (All girls like my hair, and I hate when I have to cut it), and want it to keep it’s thickness, shape, and moistness for future roles and auditions, and I don’t want to affect my “Italian/Greek” look because it gets me in the door for so many great auditions. I thought it might be good to get my Fan’s feedback and see what you guys think on how it will affect “The Journey”?

33 comments:

  1. Randy Slater???? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    This is simply too funny!!!! I can't stop laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You caught that too, Matt? Not something I ever want to hear again.

    Hangin'

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whenever I want to piss off my wife I say the word "moist". I just sent this to her and 3 minutes later she said "moistness?" is that a fucking word.

    Can we pay to have the colorist cut his fucking head off?

    ReplyDelete
  4. KELLY Slater would be bald/balding if he didn't shave his head, so, yes, Cock Gobbler, you WILL look like KELLY Slater.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If your hair is moist, then you either just got out of the shower, or really need a shower. With Arthur I am going with the later.
    “Chicks love it when they come back to the crib and my pillows are discolored, kade style”

    ReplyDelete
  6. New role in a potential pilot. Sounds promising. I think he misunderstood the writer/producer. What he really asked him was, "will you be willing to go down?"

    ReplyDelete
  7. recent tweet
    Woman just told me I should b ashamed of what I am saying. Ill b writing about how I felt
    about 6 hours ago from UberTwitter

    I would like to think that there might actually be a moment of self reflection here, but then I remember who this and realize he just going to call her a "hater".

    ReplyDelete
  8. TattooedLunaChic/VegasGrrlSeptember 1, 2009 at 3:47 PM

    You will NEVER look as hot as Kelly Slater, fuckstick!

    I'm suprised you don't have a Fohawk like a bunch of other douchebags have.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Only cookies can be moist. The word should not be used outside of cookie description.

    Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Matt,

    What about cake? Moist cake is nice.

    ReplyDelete
  11. shit she disappearedSeptember 1, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    ah yes, Kadipshits' legendary mane has moisted many panties for sure. What woman can resist hair that can be accurately described as "Krameresque" and is so versatile that it can be turned into either a lego wig with a healthy plastic look or a guido "callic" (cowlick, in the parlance of the literate)? None I tells ya.

    Bonus feature: Produces grease thick enough to work as a cooking oil substitute. It's the secret ingredient in Kadipshits family recipe!

    ReplyDelete
  12. shit she disappearedSeptember 1, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    Also, the reason why you see no flies circling Kade's dirty ass hair is because they all get stuck in there. Stickier than glue!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Moist cookie. Hee hee!

    ReplyDelete
  14. click my name to learn more about the word "moist"

    ReplyDelete
  15. when my wife is in the mood she also seems to get MOIST

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Anon 4:26 PM - way to go with the single entendre..

    ReplyDelete
  17. If, and it's a really big IF, Arthur actually - not imagined - got a role, odds are that he got it because they asked for a 'middle-aged, slightly retarded' look. That was with the monstrosity he calls his coif. Now he's going to change it despite of what the casting requirements call for. Jesus, how much does he want to derail himself? Oh, this will be hilarious to watch.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yes, Art, you should go for the Kelly (Randy, to you) Slater look.

    Moistness is not a word, fuckface. Die.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wait, I got it--set your head on fire. That's what you should do with your hair. Two birds and all. It's not like you could look worse.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Somebody said on here that Arty looked like a combo of Kramer and Egon from Ghostbusters....I would love to see that mix in a photo but I lack any skills whatsoever. Can I put in a photoshop request to the talented artists?

    There are probably a dozen Seinfeld/Ghostbusters allustions you could work into an Arty pic for humor.

    ReplyDelete
  21. The Last AirbiscuitSeptember 1, 2009 at 6:16 PM

    For the love of God, will someone with some creativity and time on their hands pull a legendary prank on this douche? I'm thinking along the lines of fake casting call in LA just to see him fly out there for no reason. It would be simple to set it up on Craig's List.

    ReplyDelete
  22. @Matt - done very quickly so not that great but should be appeasing until someone comes up with something better...

    Behold...Kader! (Click link)

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Alice: That was fucking great! LOfuckingL.

    ReplyDelete
  24. How do you all explain this youtube (Snow Day) where he and his enormous shoulders actually appear *normal*? This is the snowday youtube.

    http://arthurkade.com/?p=267

    if you need to remove the link to his site, understood

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think that video was from before the Organ Grinder and Kade started the blog. Once he got attention--positive or negative--his delusions/coke use/whathefuckever spiraled out of control. Now we're left with consultations with his colorist and the godawful Kween.

    ReplyDelete
  26. He'll be blond... I mean "blonde"!

    ReplyDelete
  27. why r all of u hatin. i love kade.

    ReplyDelete
  28. in that snow day video.. the organ grinder is the one using the camera.. and I do not know how you consider him normal in that video? he tries to administer oral sex to a dog.. as a joke..

    the fucks need to be put on an island.. then sink the island.. all the players

    ReplyDelete
  29. @ Anonymous 7:56 -- they seem to be sinking themselves. on this blog, all we have to do is report on it... they're all so unstable it's only a matter of time for each of them--Lego Wig, Organ Grinder, Lionel Hutts Boonswang, all of them. Give it a few months, tops, and the results will be hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Alice: done quickly? That is fucking incredible! WOW! I was laughing to fucking hard when I hit the link. You are very talented...holy shit. I love that Kramer painting. So fucking cool. Thanks!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur... Jesus you're sad. Just sad. You are BALDING. We all know it. We saw it. Just because you say something does not make it true. For example, you are not offering the "male 'Sex in the City' perspective" or saying what all guys say when they among other guys - you are a mysogonistic, rude, ignorant, woman-hating fool who doesn't even have the self-awareness (after eight freaking years of therapy) to realize that you are living out the anger and frustration you felt as a child when your Mom abandoned you and never looked back. Your "amazing" [sic] perspective is nothing more than some very deep seated, unresolved psychological issues from your childhood.

    And your hair? Dry, balding and pretty average.

    ReplyDelete
  32. @ above
    moist only works with "cake". Anywhere else it means sweaty. Urgh. (think about that the next time you have a moist cake) Moist hair??? Tripple sweat and definate grease.

    Bleached blond worked unbeliveably well for Buffy's "Spike": James Marsders. I think someone is hoping that will transform Kade in the same way. The difference and the problem is that Marsders can act. Kade can't. You can make a silk purce out of a pigs ear, but it is still a pigs ear. ("But can he act?? NO!") Still, it will be fun to see him trying to be blond. Maybe he can get ahold of Billy Idol and ask what his secret is. Billy must be a fan after all....Or would become one as soon as any advice was asked by The Brand.

    I swear, in my next life I want some narcissism.

    ReplyDelete