8/31/09

Concert Crashers

Philadelphia's own Bead Pitt with another absolutely horrendous butchering of the English language:


After an amazing time out with friends last night (We Pre-gamed at Chateau Kade, then went to Red Sky, and then to ZBar where I was so drunk I needed to go home or die, and it was the first night drinking in two weeks because I am ripping down), my friend called me and said he had Phillies tickets tonight, and since we were going to be at “The Cit” (My term for Citizens Bank Park, and it’s amazing how many of my “Kadeisms” have broken into everyday lingo for the Gen Pop), we should do a cruise by of The Britney Concert and see if there were any hot girls to grab and show a good time with us. I was recognized outside and inside the stadium at least ten times (I think if I went on stage I may have gotten a similar reaction to when Britney came out because of how much Philadelphia has embraced “The Journey”, and made me their favorite son, almost like their Seabiscuit to cheer for), and even my friend said to our other friends at The Phillies game (Best Seats in the house, 4 rows behind the dugout), “He got shouted at a bunch of times by girls, even one going up an escalator who said “”Arthur Kade?”" like 4 times”. It really is amazing how powerful “Kade Nation” now travels, and I feel like sometime soon my phenomenon will rival that of other “A Listers” like The Beatles, Bead Pitt, and even Frank Sinatra, and my fan base will be as dedicated to me as to sports teams like The Red Sox and Yankees (I have media sources, websites, and journalists following my every move 24/7 like my own personal tabloids already).

There were so many hot young girls at the Wachovia Center (My head was on a swivel the whole time, and you could tell that people couldn’t believe that I was actually there supporting Brit), and my friend even joked, “We should just go city to city with her tour and just pick up hot girls to sleep with”, and I responded, “That is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard, because we could be the real life version of the guys from Wedding Crashers, but doing it at Concerts with a will known celeb like me”. We talked about how we can go to prime time locations (I want to go to Staples Center because I am so popular in KA, there are a million 10’s who want me, and I could have my soon to be publicist get me “Nicholson” Floor seats, and I could use the blog to hand pick the hottest girls to join me, although if we meet girls there I want to make sure they are open to a threesome) would give us access to plenty of young, un-jaded, 9’s and 10’s that I can mold with The Brand, and my unique and genuine knowledge on life and sex, and they could probably meet the stars and celebs like I do which will make them want me even more.

As we walked around, all I could imagine is being at The Staples Center sitting next to Leo, Tobey, and maybe even Jack, and having a hand-picked 10 rubbing my leg, and then Brit would come over during the concert to give me a shout out, and then they would flash my face on the screen to get an applause. After we watched some of the concert (It really blew because Britney looked like a 6, with her ass cheeks being WAY too big ((She used to have the best ass in “The Biz”)), her face looked old and weathered, and she danced and lip synced horribly, and didn’t seem to really be into it. I hope I never get to a point where my fans say, “Arthur Kade isn’t give us an A performance”), we walked over to The Phillies Game, and I saw Chipper Jones who I had met and chilled with at G a month or two ago, but he didn’t spot me, and then rolled over for a “Hot Minute” to Red Sky and Prive for a nightcap.

Sometimes I feel like my ideas and visions are so visionary that if I applied it to politics, I could make an excellent President, and correct many of the problems that our country has, but I don’t feel the rush of passion like I do acting, and being featured in hit movies alongside “A List” actresses like Angie and Jen, or getting principal roles in hopeful pilots for TV shows, gives me the greatest thrill imaginable, and exposes me to the hottest girls who just want a taste of The Brand, so I will stick to becoming and acting legend and biggest star in the world (My Cali BFF Kent Osborne called our planet “Kearth” because of my growing global appeal).

Why are people so obsessed with me? Oh yeah, because I’m Arthur Kade.”….Arthur Kade 08/30/09-08/31/09








































59 comments:

  1. "Arthur Kade isn't give us an A performance"

    Amen.

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  2. Kade is strong bad on human growth hormone with approximately 0.001% of the funniness.

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  3. I wish he gave less of a fuck about what you all think. Poor bugger.

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  4. So Arthur thinks we're his own personal tabloid. Amazing how anything negative in Kade-land can be absorbed, processed and turned into a positive.

    Dude, you are the Black Hole of Douchedom.

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  5. Wow, he's really becoming delusional. It's almost pathetic.

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  6. Best blog ever by Arturo. He's so coked to the gills.

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  7. So, tell us......did you get to end the drought with him?

    Hangin'

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  8. You had bad seats, Kade.

    Why lie about stuff like this? You and that girl are such jokes

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  9. Admitting to the fact that Qade managed (albeit accidentally) to draw attention to his blog, and has maintained an audience for quite some time, does anyone believe that he could ever become an actor? Even a casual assessment of his acting abilities presented so far leave very little chance of that happening. So what is it that compels so many (from fans to haters to just observers) to participate in this seemingly insane on line journal of sorts? Whether you consider him good, bad, ugly, addicted, committed or needing to be committed or maybe even a genius, my question is: what does he have or do that holds peoples interest? I know, some will say it’s the comments (well, maybe), others will say its like watching a train wreck (again, maybe) and he’d probably say its cause he’s so great (umm…maybe…). I don’t think it’s any of those things, or even a combination of them all. I can’t figure it out though, or come up with a viable answer. I don’t like him (or at least how he has presented himself) and I don’t agree with anything he says (nothing comes to mind anyway), but I’m still drawn, like the preverbal moth to the flame. I’m perplexed. Is it hating, curiosity, amusement, simply interested? I can’t pinpoint my motivation, I don’t know. Can anyone define his or her reason for being part of this (I don’t even know what to call it)?

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  10. Love the "fan in street" clip esp. when he asks the guy "How hot am I?" Priceless!

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  11. I must confess, I do like calling him a fag. I'm not sure why. I know I find it amusing. I don't think it's my motivation for returning though. Ponderous.

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  12. all the "fans" shouting to you at the concert and the best you come up with is some drunk dude you met in the can who doesn't even know your name??? "Arfur Kaayh"

    ass.

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  13. @ Kudos

    One word

    ""Genius""

    Srsly

    He writes a damn entertaining blog about a guy we love to hate - and is kind of like someone we all know, but worse! We've all seen enough 'out-takes' to know that he isn't the complete fuckwad that he hams up continually.

    How he comes up with idiotic Kadeisms every day, how he monotones his 'acting' videos (or ends them one line too early), how he signs his '#1 fan prize' in ink the same colour as the background of the photo; all these things taken individually would simply make him a deadshit. But, when combined and executed consistently and without fail, well that is Genius.

    Why he is doing it and how much of it he will come to believe as he continues to live in character is anyones guess.

    I hope he makes some cash from it - because for me - it is the cheapest entertainment going. Just a little better than the faux-outrage of his haters (which is pretty funny too)!

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  14. I was expecting a leveling out of the delusions and then the inevitable crash, but wow, this post took it to a whole new level. The end is near...

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  15. Everyone else notices it's the same "fan" in both videos, right?

    And that guy is so drunk and it's so obvious Kade just tells him to say "I'm awesome" etc.

    LOL!!!

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  16. That guy in the vids is going to wake up, see this and feel dirty.

    Hangin'

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  17. I’ve said before that I appreciate talent, no matter what form it takes. I also said I believed that ‘Kent’ felt the same way. So I get what you’re saying, but honestly, ‘genius’ makes me feel ‘icky’. (I did include ‘genius’ as a possibility though). Would you qualify Qade’s ‘genius’ the same as Christopher Columbus was a genius?
    I guess what I’m asking is Qade smart or just fortunate to have stumbled upon something (and made it look simple)? And is that talent (be it genius, blind luck, or some quantum level stupidity shift) the major reason you are participating in ‘this’?

    When he (Qade) began this “The Journey” I gave him kudos (hence, my name) for doing “what he do” and suggested that his new found ‘ability’ could be explained with “Columbus’s egg”.

    I don’t want to think ‘the genius that is Qade’ is my motivation (But realistically, what else can it be?) It wasn’t what he set out to do. (How bizarre is it that he found treasure?)(I bet he blows it though, we'll have to wait and see) Thanks for the reply

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  18. Kudos, we follow his blog, because we want to believe in the restorative power of Karma. We watch in fear, that this toolbox might actually become a household name, and we watch, conversely, to be reassured that toolboxes like him DON'T become a household name. It's a gamble for us. If Kade becomes famous and lands a big role, we will lose all faith in humanity and retreat into the shadows. Until that happens, we watch and we comment, and revel in his failures.

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  19. Oh, and I'm going to call the Wachovia Center "The Wok" from now on. Beat you to it, Kade!

    Engine, out!

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  20. The ghost of Cindy BradyAugust 31, 2009 at 7:00 AM

    I think I'll start calling Chateau Kade "The Shat".

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  21. I think Kent's just weird and likes weird stuff.

    To call Arthur a genius would be like calling Anna Nicole Smith a genius. Some of Arthur's commenters? Geniuses. THAT'S what held my interest for as long as it did, because Kade's predictability got old fast.

    Arthur's just a freak, and as a culture we have a fondness for freaks.

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  22. LMAO ghost of Cindy Brady. The Shat is perfect.

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  23. "Bead Pitt"???? And then publicly trashing Britney Spears' looks after bragging about getting into her concert???? Things like that continue to persuade me that Kade's blog HAS to be a prank (though one surely well past its sell-by date). I have NEVER met anyone in real life THIS stupid, THIS self-defeating, THIS obnoxious. But prank or no, if I ever am unfortunate enough to see Kade on the street, I will run like Usain Bolt in the opposite direction.

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  24. @ Anonymous 7:07:
    You're a hater. You're just jealous that you can't do things Kade-style, like...get into cabs, or...eat at restaurants, or...go to concerts. You really want to go to a club and pay $20 to get in and drink a beer, but you don't know how; you don't have the celebrity status to do that. And your jealousy of Kade's ability to just walk into any old Starbucks and order coffee, is clearly showing.

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  25. And not to pile on here but...okay to really pile on here, didn't Kade blog last week about how young the girls at Britney's concert were? How he'd be locked up. Now he wants to follow Britney's tour? Is "The Kade" crossing over to "The Ped?"

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  26. So every city, verb and electronic device can have a "K" stuck onto the front to make it part of the Kade brand.

    I hope it is not lost on Kade that in baseball, the K represents a massive whiff and failure.

    Now I have to go and add "Bead Pitt" to the Cliffs Notes. God dammit.

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  27. Arthur's the type of cunt who goes to a concert or goes to a game and fucking texts (or in his case "tweets") the whole time about "how great his seats are" etc, taking pictures of himself etc


    he's all about the status of something rather than the substance of something. clearly not IN the moment at all, just thinking of how he'll gloss it up to his friends afterwards

    a total -bag


    this is also the mindset that prevents him from succeeding as an actor (besides having zero innate talent): he doesn't learn from things and experiences, just picks moments that suit and feed his ego



    he's a tourist of life, snapping shots but missing the whole point

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  28. Wow, Doc Engine, you really saw through me, is it that obvious? Ah ha ha! I envy Kade like I envy someone with flesh-eating bacteria in their system.

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  29. He's such a fucked up dirt bag!

    And "best seats in the house? FOUR rows behind the dugout?
    Common logic tells you that being ONE row behind the dugout puts you closer to the field, and thus becomes a better seat than FOUR rows behind. So, FOUR rows is not the best seat in the house! FAIL Arthur!

    Why don't you just die already?

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  30. Getting up. Busy day ahead. Winners win
    about 1 hour ago from UberTwitter

    Yes Arthur all successful people wake up at 10am.

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  31. How come everytime I post the name RON HANSON on his blog it is either shortened on taken off all together?

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  32. this is one of my all time favorite delusions - from his Twitter:

    "They just showed paul rudd on screen. I wonder if espn knows I'm here"

    bwhahahahahahahaha!!!

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  33. @Dr. Engine at 6:51AM -- agreed. The most accurate and succinct explanation for why I am follwing this d-bag (and why I am now here at Lego Wig). Thank you.

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  34. I'm torn, please help me. I'm not sure whether I should want to punch AK in the face for stating that instead of going into politics to help his fellow man, he's decided to concentrate on pursuing a life of fame, money, and women, thereby saying screw you to his fellow man, OR, should I be relieved that he's not in politics. Moral crisis here.

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  35. Photos added for your disgusting amusement!

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  36. Kade + commenters + 7.8945732918 months = genius

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  37. Those photos suggest total Kade domination of a Phillies game. He even had a ticket to the game!

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  38. I love how he can't even commit to not drinking in order to "rip down." He has no dedication to anything at all.

    Is a night getting drunk really supposed to impress us, when all it shows is that you can't even stick to a "balls ass" diet and workout regimen?

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  39. shit she disappearedAugust 31, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    God damn! you should have put a warning prior to clicking to read the rest of this post. I did NOT want to see Kadipshits in his bright orange Go Go hot pants. I'm gonna need a hammer and some good old fashion, Kadipshits style glue huffing to get that image off my head.

    I bet Chad "Lionel Hutz" just went Boon chika chika chika swang! after seeing that pic.

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  40. We need a girl to go in undercover. Does the girl who "won" the date with him or whatever still come around here? We need girls to pretend do dig him for a few minutes and record him or take stupid pictures. Something fun.

    Shotgun not me though. I puke easily. And I hate him.

    I like how in one of the videos, you can see the shadow of Kade holding the camera himself. Nothing says class like videotaping yourself. And the drunk guy looked like he got dragged away by some friends real fast.

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  41. "@Arthur Kade Kade dominates atlanta radio today. Kade style"

    No Arthur. They were making fun of you. Like all of the other media exposure you've had so far. They were mocking you, sad delusional monkey. Sad, sad drugged out monkey.

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  42. If AK went into politics he's dominate these voting blocs: cab drivers eager for tips and drunks in men's rooms. That make get a plurality in Philly.

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  43. New entries

    Chateau Kade: Domicile showcased by Kade in order to lead the reader to believe that Kade himself actually lives there. Located in Camden in The Victor Building, the exquisite decor includes dust bunnies, empty beer bottle collection, a male roommate, a small closet as well as a sweeping panoramic view of two parking lots. The building also has a security guard to keep the paparazzi at bay "in case Megan Fox stays over."

    Chateau Kade has been renamed "Shat" in the commenting community in reference to Kade's annoying habit of shortening everything to monosyllables (i.e. Gen Pop, Cit, etc)

    Pitt, Bead: Typographical error repeatedly made by Kade when referring to Brad Pitt. This repeated sloppiness and inattention to detail is the hallmark of Kade's life. That one simple word of "Bead" sums up the tragic and comedic "almost-but-not-quite" quality that is Kade's entire life. [see blog entry Concert Crashers 8/31/09]

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  44. Damn! Jester is really over there doing the Lord's work! He's posted more than 50 comments all linking to this site!

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  45. shit she disappearedAugust 31, 2009 at 12:18 PM

    Just read Kade's twitter for the first time and he is even more despicable there than in his blog; no small feat, I'm sure we all agree. Like others, I had felt a bit of sympathy for Kade ad the pathetic details of his life as bottom feeder emerged. But that feeling quickly died out when I read his twitter.

    It is an odd and disturbingly pleasing feeling to know that the journey will end with Kaids' turd nugget of a brain splattered against a truck stop bathroom, leaving behind a dirty skid mark as it slides to hit rock bottom, a perfect image of this sad buffoon's life.

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  46. I've worked in politics, and at the risk of being Dr. Frankenstein to a really really bad monster, Kade would, in fact, be perfect for politics, and would probably meet with some success. All it would take is one of those special elections when not many people vote and he'd get into office, and then his overcompensation for his crippling insecurity combined with his profound stupidity would kick in and he'd pretty much be set for life. Or until he got indicted.

    Doubt what I'm saying? Track down anyone from Reading, Pennsylvania and ask them about Gus Yatron (I know that sounds like a made up name but it's really not, you can begoogle it) who represented Berks County in the United States House of Representatives for a couple of decades. And there are countless other examples.

    It's scary to think about, but Kade and politics would be perfect.

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  47. shit she disappearedAugust 31, 2009 at 1:15 PM

    @Drew

    I work in politics too and I have to say I disagree. Even if we pretend that Kade never released his stupid blog (his current level of infamy and the idiocies he's written make him unelectable, but that goes without saying), he has no stage presence, no camara presence, has terrible personal hygene and he is one of those people who gives a bad vibe. Imagine Kade trying to deliver a speech. He would stumble, lisp, and look insignificant and tiny. A stage and camara really dwarf the unworthy and Kade is certainly one of them. If he ran, he would be one of the buffoons of the special elections. The only place he had a shot prior to the journey is N.E. Philly. A good campaign manager would have pitched the whole " I came from nothing, look at me angle" and people may have taken the bait at first. Then, as attention grew, Kade's behavior would grow erratic and bizarre, and his natural dumbassery and buffoonery would take over turning the whole thing into a shit show. Remember this is a derranged individual with no self control. Many politicians are stupid and vain, but the ones who get elected are excellent showmen who know when to show some measure of restraint. Both of those things are totally beyond Kade's grasp.

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  48. I know it's been mentioned, but I gotta mention it again. The videos of the "fan". Holy shit. Arthur headlocking some random drunk dude and creepily askig him how hot he is.

    You know, I've gone back and forth on whether or not I believe all this shit is true. And more and more I'm coming to grips with the fact that it isn't real. It's all a bunch of bullshit, but I still can't figure out why it all is happening.

    Think about it. In light of these, and countless other videos/pictures/statements, it's clear that Arthur is either gay or acts like he is on purpose.

    With that in mind, his whole "boning every 9.864 girl in Philly" thing is clearly bullshit, or something.

    Not really sure where I'm going with this. Trying to unravel some logic out of this whole mess has me even more confused than before.

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  49. @ Bob Vila

    Art Work plays up the things he knows gets people talkin. But those things are what he really would normally do (wear the same cloths, hit on men, ect.) It's like he plays it up though, to get more posts on his site.

    Hangin'

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  50. Politics or Hollywood... two careers paths where a small amount of mental illness actually works to your advantage. I've seen the Hollywood version. Made me run screaming.

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  51. Evidently the Journey is dead in the water. Arthur (under the tutelage of Lego Tits Kang and the voices in his head) now oinks about his delusions of grandeur and his assumptions of his assumed fame, and proudly posts videos of drunk men he meets in toilets. Notice that he has not written anything as of late that deals with his belief that he's a 'rising global star.'

    Art, since it's a done deal, why don't you wrap it all up and kill yourself? Put your parents out of their misery, as well as doing the rest of the Gen Pop a huge service.

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  52. Goddamn, NyQuil! I meant, notice that he has not written anything as of late about being an actor.

    Sorry.

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  53. shit she disappearedAugust 31, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    @ MC 900 Foot Douchebag

    True, but the successful ones know how to conceal from outsiders the fact that they are fucking insane. Kade can't even conceal his goddamn orange gogo hot pants (I really, really wished I had never seen that)

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  54. Something that surprised me - in the two videos with the fan, notice how Arthur has very rigid posture when the guy pats him on the chest or back? Does anyone else detect a bit of discomfort in Arthur? I mean, this is a guy who has mentioned twice how much he hates people touching him; he mentioned yelling at a 6 before for touching him in bar.

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  55. Hey SSD...

    That was one of the first things I saw this morning. I fucking posted this one at 4:53am EDT this morning. I've been sick all day.

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  56. Medium African ChildAugust 31, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Dear Father Arthur,

    Thank you for many crate of hot pocket which arrive in our village this morning. Now, famine is over, and we eat again. Sadly we have no microwave or electricity, so we must walk many mile across savannah and lower them into the volcano to warm up.

    Father Arthur, why you not warn us that hot pocket is dangerous. Small African Child burn his tongue and cannot speak - he burn his hands and cannot type. But at least we eat again.

    Philly Cheese Steak is my favourite, because it reminds me of you. Our chief sends his thanks and blessings for the bounty you have given us.

    Brangelina came to our village and all the children hid. She was very angry that there were only old women and mens to adopt. She has many childrens, and a zombie called Bead who follow her around like herd of wildebeest. Like Madonna, she has claws like vulture, but unlike Madonna, she is mother hot.

    I send you greeting and blessings,

    Medium African Child

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  57. moc and medium african child are fucking great!

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  58. You should try the vegetarian Hot Pocket: for those who don't eat meat but still want the diarrhea.

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