Philadelphia's own Bead Pitt with another absolutely horrendous butchering of the English language:
After an amazing time out with friends last night (We Pre-gamed at Chateau Kade, then went to Red Sky, and then to ZBar where I was so drunk I needed to go home or die, and it was the first night drinking in two weeks because I am ripping down), my friend called me and said he had Phillies tickets tonight, and since we were going to be at “The Cit” (My term for Citizens Bank Park, and it’s amazing how many of my “Kadeisms” have broken into everyday lingo for the Gen Pop), we should do a cruise by of The Britney Concert and see if there were any hot girls to grab and show a good time with us. I was recognized outside and inside the stadium at least ten times (I think if I went on stage I may have gotten a similar reaction to when Britney came out because of how much Philadelphia has embraced “The Journey”, and made me their favorite son, almost like their Seabiscuit to cheer for), and even my friend said to our other friends at The Phillies game (Best Seats in the house, 4 rows behind the dugout), “He got shouted at a bunch of times by girls, even one going up an escalator who said “”Arthur Kade?”" like 4 times”. It really is amazing how powerful “Kade Nation” now travels, and I feel like sometime soon my phenomenon will rival that of other “A Listers” like The Beatles, Bead Pitt, and even Frank Sinatra, and my fan base will be as dedicated to me as to sports teams like The Red Sox and Yankees (I have media sources, websites, and journalists following my every move 24/7 like my own personal tabloids already).
There were so many hot young girls at the Wachovia Center (My head was on a swivel the whole time, and you could tell that people couldn’t believe that I was actually there supporting Brit), and my friend even joked, “We should just go city to city with her tour and just pick up hot girls to sleep with”, and I responded, “That is the most brilliant idea I’ve ever heard, because we could be the real life version of the guys from Wedding Crashers, but doing it at Concerts with a will known celeb like me”. We talked about how we can go to prime time locations (I want to go to Staples Center because I am so popular in KA, there are a million 10’s who want me, and I could have my soon to be publicist get me “Nicholson” Floor seats, and I could use the blog to hand pick the hottest girls to join me, although if we meet girls there I want to make sure they are open to a threesome) would give us access to plenty of young, un-jaded, 9’s and 10’s that I can mold with The Brand, and my unique and genuine knowledge on life and sex, and they could probably meet the stars and celebs like I do which will make them want me even more.
As we walked around, all I could imagine is being at The Staples Center sitting next to Leo, Tobey, and maybe even Jack, and having a hand-picked 10 rubbing my leg, and then Brit would come over during the concert to give me a shout out, and then they would flash my face on the screen to get an applause. After we watched some of the concert (It really blew because Britney looked like a 6, with her ass cheeks being WAY too big ((She used to have the best ass in “The Biz”)), her face looked old and weathered, and she danced and lip synced horribly, and didn’t seem to really be into it. I hope I never get to a point where my fans say, “Arthur Kade isn’t give us an A performance”), we walked over to The Phillies Game, and I saw Chipper Jones who I had met and chilled with at G a month or two ago, but he didn’t spot me, and then rolled over for a “Hot Minute” to Red Sky and Prive for a nightcap.
Sometimes I feel like my ideas and visions are so visionary that if I applied it to politics, I could make an excellent President, and correct many of the problems that our country has, but I don’t feel the rush of passion like I do acting, and being featured in hit movies alongside “A List” actresses like Angie and Jen, or getting principal roles in hopeful pilots for TV shows, gives me the greatest thrill imaginable, and exposes me to the hottest girls who just want a taste of The Brand, so I will stick to becoming and acting legend and biggest star in the world (My Cali BFF Kent Osborne called our planet “Kearth” because of my growing global appeal).
“Why are people so obsessed with me? Oh yeah, because I’m Arthur Kade.”….Arthur Kade 08/30/09-08/31/09